Dino

She was sitting there, right where I knew she'd be. It was like she was waiting for me. In another world, maybe, she would have been. But not in this one.

So I sat at the bar for a drink. Just watched. Saw her trying to look tough but I doubted she fooled anyone. Eyeing up the trade. Seeing if something interested her. Wonder if she noticed the eyes on her? I tried to pick out whoe might have been the real deal danger but, to be honest, I was distracted by the unreality of it all. When she examined me, it felt so strong, almost invasive; like she'd just touched me. And even though her eyes moved on, I took it as the invitation she might never have issued to me. Had the bartender send us over another round.

Yeah, I was that confident she'd be sharing a drink with me.

"Mind if I join you? Pretty lady like you shouldn't be left alone to fend for herself in a place like this," I said as I pulled out a seat and joined her at the table. Gave her my softest, most knowing smile. The one that said we both knew why we were here but I was determined to treat her like the lady she really was. "Never know what kind of animal might try to take advantage of you."

The look she gave me. I saw a million things in it and my heart about died for her. "What kind of animal are you then?" she asked me.

"The tame kind."

"Too bad. I was looking for the wild kind."

Our eyes were locked. She was the open book I'd always wanted to read. "What's your name, honey?"

She gave me a chuckle and bit her lip. Examined me a lot harder. Trying to figure out how much she'd risk with me. Toss of the dice and I could tell she didn't care that much what I wanted because she knew what she wanted. It was why she was in the bar in the first place. "It's Ann. And you are?"

"Dino. Pleased to meet you." Reached out to shake her hand and, Christ, you should have seen the reaction. It was like some electrical charge raced through us both. Her eyes got huge. I tried to pretend it hadn't happened. "At the risk of sounding cheesy, you seem like much too classy a woman to be in a place like this."

"Yeah? Looks can be deceiving, can't they, Dino? See, I would have said a man like you would come up with something a lot better than that if you were really trying to hit on me. Maybe you're just not trying hard enough? Or were you hoping I'd be that easy to pick up?"

I say the next bit low, just like I'd been coached. In that perfect tone that said she wasn't fooling me and I knew her better than she could have imagined. Words designed to remind her that she was the one who'd chosen this path. "Honey, you're the woman sitting alone in a tough bar. What are you running from?"

I waited while her eyes got clouded over and I saw that deep swallow she did. When she glanced around the room to avoid me, she looked like a kid.

Now I leaned in toward her and whispered it like the seduction this was supposed to be. "Let's be real with each other, Ann. You don't belong in a place like this any more than I do. You look like a woman who needs a man who can show her the good things in life. Why don't you let me take you to the kind of place you do belong?"

Her eyes. Aimed at me again; green missiles. "Yeah? What kind of place would that be, Dino? Your hotel room?"

"No, honey. Not yet. I'm easy but not that easy." Lightening the moment; giving her a little leering chuckle and waggling my eyebrows. She smiled even though she fought it hard. I knew I had her. "How about some dinner first? Get to know each other. Maybe someplace nicer than this to do a bit of dancing together after? Then whatever happens between us, happens."

It fell into place like a dream. Maybe it was. All I know is, it was working just like she'd figured it would. Ann was ready for someone new in her life and it was me. I was there to show her that I could be just the man for the situation.

Took her to her favorite restaurant in this city. She'd only been there once before but it had always stuck in her mind that this was the place nice men took women they wanted to impress. At this moment in her life, she was a sucker for a man who thought she was worth trying to impress.

All during dinner, I kept the focus on her. Asked her questions; cajoled answers out of her. She'd never, not in the way I knew her, ever answered me point blank like she did that night. She was a different person and it threw me for a while until I adjusted to this other reality.

But in this night, she needed to see that I found her intriguing. That any man with half a brain and man enough for a woman like her would be drawn into her. It's what she most needed from me, I think. She had been right all along. She needed to get her self-confidence back.

Openly and aggressively flirting with her all through dessert; I upped the stakes, making her see me and my want of her; so smooth that I even impressed myself. After dinner, I found the lounge Annie'd told me about. Ann was surprised to end up there, I knew. But she was already starting to back down from the edge she'd been in at the bar. That dangerous edge that she'd rushed right up to in the wake of a really bad experience in her life. No, that's too simple. There was more going on only I'd promised Annie not to pry too deep.

I taught her about martinis. Classic but with a fresh take I liked. Shaken. Ice cold with just a breath of lemon rubbed on the inside of the glass. Two almond-stuffed olives soaked in vermouth.

She was about looped after the first one and this was when I went in for the kill. This was not part of Annie's plan but I didn't really care by then.

You know why? I am not sure I can explain it away. But, I'll try. It was this one time she looked at me that night. Like I was the best thing she'd seen. Ever. Like I was the man she would've been looking for if she'd known I existed.

I wanted her to know that good men were out there. That all she had to do was believe it and it would come true for her. That it wasn't going to be me in the end, but that he was still out there. I was just a way station on this path she should be taking.

But it was going to be me that night and for a few more nights. Somehow, I think maybe Annie had known it, too, when she figured out it was me who'd help this way. In fact, I look back on it, look back on the conversations ... and I am convinced she knew I'd take it this far. That she wanted me to do this for her. That she believed in me this much. But Annie was never going to discuss that aspect out in the open with me. I knew that going in.

Back to Ann. There she was. Slightly looped on one martini, starting on the second and she was ready to play. All relaxed and feeling like the star attraction. I was whispering in her ear and dancing so close that there wasn't much space between us. And I pulled her in closer because, yeah, there was something I wanted her to understand.

Her reaction was a sharp intake of breath and wide eyes at me. I felt this little tremble race through her.

"Baby, what you do to me," I whispered against her ear, then let out this little low groan as I dipped down and kissed her neck soft and slow.

And she had the funniest reaction. Yet ... I got this instant insight into who she was because I am convinced it might have been one of the most honest reactions of the night ... and maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was just something I wanted. But whereas I was used to the women in our group I knew well and how they'd take this ... if I'd had one of them in my arms and it had reached this point with them, it would have been understood that this would be the result. That I'd be getting hard. And when I'd pull them in to let them feel, it would have made them ... well, it would have made them move in closer. But not Ann. She moved away. She got shy.

Is there such a thing as harder than hard? Think I felt it right then.

"I don't know," she whispered to me and I heard this note of desperation in her voice. "I don't know anymore."

"Nothing you don't want, honey. Promise. Just consider it an invitation."

She took a deep breath and then moved back closer to me. My hands on her back slipped lower and I nudged my knee between hers. Making the decision, just that simply. Deciding to trust in me and also to trust in her own instincts. I liked seeing her this way. She really was another woman in this night. Asking me soft, with no hesitation; just asking it out of honest curiosity. "Why did you pick me up, Dino? Was it only for sex?"

"Did cross my mind," I whispered to her and we chuckled against each other. I got serious, shifting quick so she'd be off balance. "Honey, I want you. You know I do. But if I'd only been after sex, I'd be done with you already. Don't ask me what it is about you, but I am intrigued."

"Intrigued?" I felt her rock her herself right up against my struggling cock; in this coordinated attack of sweet feminine aggression, her lips were on the side of my neck and her fingers were playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. "I don't know that any man's ever told me I intrigued him before. Who are you to have come into my life like this, Dino?"

 "I'm a friend, Ann. I can be a good friend."

 "Would you be a good lover?"

 "I would be."

 "You're a cocky one, aren't you?" she giggled and I dipped her in perfect time to the ending of the song we were dancing to. "If I asked you to prove it ..."

 "Ask me."

And now, so serious. I wasn't letting her up out of the dip until she said it. I wanted her to make the decision right then and there while she was off-balance. Another sound of desperation when she spoke, but this time there was also hope. In just this one pivotal moment, what she said made me realize ... I'd changed things for her. "Make love to me, Dino. Be good to me."

"I'll be good to you. Like you deserve, Ann."

So, that's how I got her to be with me. Full court press and no prisoners taken. From there, it was just us. Me and Ann. No one else. Well, a few ghosts, but they were only visiting me. I'm still not sure, though, if it was her seducing me or the other way round.

In my hotel suite, I was all ready for this night. I had her favorite wine in the fridge. I had the perfect tape ready to play. And I was ready to deal with that aspect of her that, no matter what else had been done to her, made her suddenly unsure if she was willing to go forward. The honorable part of her that would whisper in her inner ear and tell her she was violating a promise to another man.

"Tonight's for you, honey," I told her. "It's just me and you. He won't ever know. We'll go slow and we'll just enjoy ourselves."

She barely talked. It wasn't what I expected.  And again, I thought about the changes in her. And I thought about what I was really there for. Not so much to heal the past hurt, but to make her avoid the future one. I was there to keep her from compounding on a mistake that would lead her down the path I didn't want her to take.

I knew so much about Ann. Insider's knowledge, you see. But I was finding out things about her that I wondered if Annie ever knew about herself.

Like, the way she trusted her instincts more. Like, how she placed herself in my care almost instantly. Like, how she didn't focus so much about hiding. Like, how much trouble she would have invited that night if she'd been with another man because she wouldn't have cared so much about what she deserved.

We were standing there on the balcony, looking out over Houston, and for a minute I got this glimpse of a girl I'd known in college. She had that same indefinable edge of innocent ambition and willingness to take any risk just for the sake of saying to herself that she was brave enough to do it.

And when I kissed Ann, she didn't hesitate. I tasted gin. I thought about the first time I'd kissed Annie. She'd tasted of wine.

But both times, there was also this taste that was a 100-proof shot of desire. Sweet and heady. It went straight to the only part of me that was doing any thinking just then.

I pulled her back inside with me, never letting her escape from my embrace. Needing this night. Wanting her. But also wanting it to be good enough to last in her memory as one of those magical nights that you think about when you're a lot older and you wonder whatever got into you when you were young and foolish and you simply believed the world was yours to play in.

Locked in an embrace, swallowed in the music, kissing skin and feeling each other up. Nothing fancy; but nothing rushed ... yet. Savoring the time. Eating up the experience.

"I want you to make love to me. All night. Okay?" she asked me, whispering it in my ear, then tugging on my lobe with her teeth. Pressed right up to me, on her toes, at my mercy.

"Let's do that," I told her and unzipped her skirt. She wiggled those hips against me and down the skirt went. Her hands beat me to her blouse and I stepped back to watch. She liked putting on a show for me; started dancing in time to the music. I took a seat on the edge of the bed and dropped my hand against my groin.

She played with the straps a few times before peeling off her little lacy bra. No hose; only panties. And she danced for me just like that. Little white lacy panties. She looked innocent but she moved experienced.

She came to me and stood before me so I could smooth those panties off her body. As I bent to my task, I kissed her at that juncture between her thighs. Got lost for a minute; forgot myself. And then I decided ... what the hell. She was mine for a while.

I grabbed around her hips and tossed her over into the bed; climbed on top, spread her legs and ... I stopped just to experience the scent of her damp curls. And then tasted her there, indolently exploring. When I finally looked up, she had her eyes screwed shut and she was just lying there, like she was afraid to move.

"What's wrong, honey?" Stroking her along that tender skin.

Big eyes my way. Helpless, lost, unsure. Young in ways I'd forgotten. "I'm not ... I mean ... What do you want me to do?"

Couldn't help the chuckle. "You do what makes you feel good. But right now, I'm having a feast." And her eyes fled mine and chased to the ceiling. Made me nervous. "Ann? You okay, honey?"

Eyes flitting back to me and then shutting. I saw this little tear and I went to her, holding her, whispering little shushing noises to her. But she said, "God, I shouldn't be here doing this. Should I? I just ... I didn't think I'd ever really be doing something like this ... "

"Hey, hey. It's okay. If you don't like what I was doing ..."

"No, I liked it ... just ..." Her little hand smoothing down my head, petting me.

Just watched her, stayed close, held her. Knew this moment was bound to happen at some point. She wasn't the kind of woman to give it up cheap, no matter what she'd wanted to think about herself when the night had begun. And slowly, she told me a bit about the trouble she was in. But somewhere in there, she gave me the opening. My chance. Just what she needed to hear from a man like me. Wanting to get her thinking ... planting the seeds of ideas she could use to rebuild her shattered self-image.

Saw the seed take root. Witnessed the dawning of a new way of seeing ... that maybe she should be making up her own mind about who she was. That maybe she really did deserve the best. That maybe she should stop expecting so little.

And as I saw the shift in her eyes, I felt the way her body got languid and the way she was stroking my body with real curiosity and desire. So I let my hands respond in kind. Not long after, she was whispering to me and I was kissing her neck and teasing out a reaction with my fingers.

"Oh, baby, you are in for a treat," I told her, my voice purposefully enthusiastic and fun. "Let me show you just how good this can be."

Chuckling at me. "Oh, yeah? Care to prove it?"

"Absolutely."

And she was coming faster than she thought she ever would. Started slow, just fingers, talking to her about how wet she was ... and then letting my tongue and mouth take her where I wanted her. What man doesn't let his chest expand with pride to have a woman react so with him? And other parts, too...

But then I had my most surreal and guilty pleasure moment. It started when I was first burying myself inside her. And I really had a revelation: never thought of getting this chance with Annie. Maybe that's the real reason I was so careful with Ann just then. Before long, she was muttering to me and moaning out Cajun French that sounded like curse words.

I waited on her and slowly she came back to me. We traded smiles. But the moment had come when I needed my own release, though I'd come harder if I took along for at least a few more gold rings. I wanted it to be so damned good. I wanted her to remember that a man she'd just met was able to do this with her. I wanted her to feel confident ... I wanted her to be able to think later on about how if this was possible, how much better should it have been with a man she loved?

It was the essence of what Annie wanted me to show her. I was doing it for her. All for Annie.

Ann cried when she came and she tried to bury her face in my shoulder. Her youth shook me. I let her do it for a minute and then I was kissing her hard. Felt this wildness in me and let her feel it. And right after she came that time, I dipped down for a kiss. That kiss a woman gives up in a time like this. The way she exposes everything about herself in this moment. A kiss unlike anything she gives you at any other time.

The moment-after kiss.

She stayed with me most of the night. We left the lights on and we talked in between making love. Like she didn't want to sleep and I knew that feeling. In the morning, I ordered up room service but she was gone by the time I was out of the shower.

I knew where she was staying in Houston. With friends. I sent her flowers. No real note. Just my name. And my phone number. She called me. We spent just over 48 hours together after that. Just us. Getting lost inside an erotic experience that wasn't supposed to happen.

But it did happen. And there was one person to blame. Annie. Dammit. I think she knew what she was setting up the whole time.

Still, what's important, I suppose, is that I left Ann with good memories. But also with reality. And the reality was, it was never going to be more than a fling because that's really all either of us could have had at that time with each other. But, even a fling can be important if you learn something about yourself. I'd come along at the right time for her. I came along when she most needed a man who was supposed to do only one assigned task: stop her from making a mistake that would change her life for the worse.

But, in the end?

No mistakes. But ... it might not have been right, either.

The Day Before This Began

"I need a big favor, Dino, and you're the only one I can turn to."

Such a sucker for a woman in trouble. That's me. Always wanting nothing so much as to be their hero. 

And this was how Annie sucked me in.

I'd come to New Orleans at her request; special project she needed help with, she told me to lure me down there. Right.

My radar was on full alert. I had these vibes that whatever was happening, I wasn't going to like it. As soon as I walked in the door, she was all over me, like a dog that keeps whining at you to pet her until you finally have to reach down and pick her up because you realize, she really needs that from you just then.

"I've got it all figured out," she said, handing me a beer and smiling at me across her kitchen counter. "We can fix things. Well, you'll fix them so that by the time I meet Pat, I'll be ready to be the woman he deserves. And we'll have no roadblocks this time. And we can both be happy."

"We?" I asked her, fixing her with a look. "You said you wouldn't have been happy to stay back in your portal with him. What's changed?"

"Yeah, well, it won't be this me back there, it'll be that me. So this way, that me's happy and, then this me can be happy because I won't have screwed up that me's Pat. Oh, it's a thing of beauty. I'll help them both with just this one, little thing. See?"

Well ... no. Of course not.

Let me see if I can explain it better than she did to me at first. My gut told me it was a disaster waiting to happen; my brain couldn't think of an argument that held water. And besides ... I don't know that I could have really said no to the woman asking me for this. She's that important to me and this was that important to her. From the moment we met, we had a connection that absolute.

Back to her idea. It started with her thinking about how we could choose at what moment in our pasts we'd hit when we went back in our portals. And that if she wanted to affect a certain moment in her past without changing the person she was in Perve World, then she needed to send someone else back to interact with her old self to change the moment.

How? Well, she wanted to take me across, through her portal, and then leave me there while she returned to Perve World. 

Think about that. Picture me back there in her past ... except the Annie I knew would not be there with me because she'd be in her present here. And the moment Annie returned to her present in the portal ... well, then I'd be with her old self -- when next I saw her, I'd be seeing the other her ... the Ann that she slipped in and out of when she went through her portal. And if I changed things for that Ann, then I affected only her past self's future. And Annie was all that time safe back in Perve World, she figured.

Then the Perve World Annie would come back a few days later, after I'd had plenty of time to "fix" things. She'd come get me and take me back on the return trip through her portal to Perve World.

And in the intervening time, what was I going to be doing in her old world? I was going to be correcting this one moment in this one night for her. This moment she said that if she could change it, then she'd never have seen the darkness. And despite what you may think, it wasn't the marriage she was trying to save ... it was to keep herself from making a choice in the wake of the downward spiral of the marriage; a choice she made that sent her down a path that had been wrong, wrong, wrong.

"No." I told her so firmly that I know she was startled. I don't think I'd ever been that harsh with her. "You are not getting me involved in this."

"It has to be you." She whispered it with such sincerity. I think she knew what that would do to me.

"Ask Jack."

Shaking her head hard. "No. It can't be Jack. I mean, let's not even talk about his accent and the words he uses. Let's just talk about the fact that Jack could never do anything covert like this. No way. It's like Stephen says all the time - Jack's much too easy to read and he is not cut out for something like this. It needs to be someone who can ... you know ... who can ..."

"Lie?" Frowning at her. "Thanks, Annie. Nice that you feel that way about me."

"It wouldn't be lying, would it? Wouldn't you ever want to flirt with me again?" Trying to make a joke of it; shouldn't she have known that would hurt me?

Closing my eyes and rubbing my hands over my face in frustration. Finally, my gruff voice. "Ask Terry."

"No." Coming out of her so soft that I looked hard at her. "Not Terry. I can't turn to him for help anymore. Besides, she'd fall for him. You know how I felt the first time I met him. He'd be too much for her to deal with, the way he'd make her feel."

"So I'm forgettable, huh? I'd come in, show her a good time and then she'd never think about me again so it'd be all neat and clean?"

"That is not the truth. You know better than that, Dino." She reached across her counter and just touched my forearm. Patting me and looking right in my eyes. "You'd show her that good men are still out there. You'd help her see she deserves better than what she'd be willing to settle for. Better than what Cal is telling her she will ever get."

"And how's she going to feel when I leave?"

Her eyes locked with mine. "She's going to know she has worth and value. And maybe she won't ever stop believing."

I tried to run it in my mind but Annie's eyes got to me. Finally, I just groaned and dropped my head on top of her hand.

"Dino, let me just say something to you. The truth about you. We call you Mr. Smooth for a reason. You know why you are the perfect man for this? Because you won't mislead her but you'll make her want more out of life. I swear I wish I'd met you then. You would have been exactly what I needed. A good man. An experienced man. A real man. You make a woman feel like she's the most precious thing in the world but you also make her feel like a real woman. Like she's exotic and sexy and sophisticated. But you never lie to her. And you won't make it out to be love. You will just make her see that if a man like you finds her worth it, then she doesn't have to do for Cal what she was going to do that night."

I gave her hand a little kiss, this touch of skin on skin that was just for Annie. All for Annie. Resigned that I was not going to be able to say no now.

"This was the night?"

"It was. It was the start of the really bad times for me. Even if all you do is stop her from meeting the one who ... Just go meet her in the bar before he does. Get her out of there. Don't let her make that mistake. She went into that whole scene only because of how worthless Cal had made her feel. Think about how different I might have been if ... I have thought about this so much, Dino."

"Will we lose you then? If I change this timeline, then you might not come here and ..."

"No, won't happen like that because I'll be here while you're making changes in my past. We're existing in different worlds, different realities, right now. So it'll only affect the 'me' that's there. It won't affect me here. But Dino? We can help her ... the other me. We can make her a different person. A woman who can love Pat like he should be loved when she meets him. And I can keep him from getting hurt by me. Oh, but it makes such sense. You have no idea how it will give me peace. You probably will never understand this, but there's a reason I met Pat back there and I believe it was meant for us to have been together in that world. But this 'me'? This 'me' wants to stay here. With Jack. Well, and, um ... And all of you."

"You really think you've thought this all through?" I searched around in my rattled brain to find the fallacy in this plan. "Have you talked to Nash about this?"

"Pfft. Nash. He's good on the math stuff but this is a no-brainer. I mean, it's a novel idea and all but if you just think about it, even if we screw things up, her life can't be worse, right?"

"Christ, Annie. Don't play around with fate like this."

She chuckled. "Isn't this exciting? Doesn't it make you feel so jazzed to be about to do this? Oh, Dino, just think how great it'll be? It's just a few days ... just go there, meet her and hang around to make sure she doesn't do something stupid like go back to the bar the next night or something. Then you can come back and everything will be over."

I told her that I had to sleep on it. Didn't sleep very much that night. I just ran the scenario in my head and tried to poke holes in it. All I really ended up doing was thinking of the stuff I'd need to know about Annie back then ... about Ann ... things I'd need to know if I was going to be able to do what Annie wanted me to do.

Annie. There was a part of me that had this wild hope that maybe whatever I did to make things better for Ann would be able to heal Annie's wounds.

But when all was said and done, that was too much to hope for.

Four Days After This Began

She had no way of knowing what might have been happening when she popped back into her old life because by the time she was returning, it had changed.

Annie.

I closed my eyes and let myself remember and ... Ccan't help it. It pissed me off.

How dare she do this to me? To us?

Back in our real world, Annie and I had made our peace and we'd moved into a great friendship. She didn't want romance or even sex from me. I appreciated her honesty. And despite what people may think, it didn't really have that much to do with Terry. It might have in the beginning. But now it was just the way it was. I'd been fine with that. After all, I had these other women in the group who fulfilled the romance and sex quotient. Annie as a friend, someone I could just talk to, had become real important to me.

Still ... people in our group seem to think it's impossible for any man not to crave every one of the women. It's a basic part of the lore. Like a mandate. And maybe we've all thought it was easier that way.

There's a part of me that knows that Annie felt this this, too. She may in some way be curious about whether or not things might have been different for us if not for what happened the first time we met. We never talk to each other about that. We've never come clean about it. Even to each other. There's a reason why and it's not for me to tell because I read her diaries and know she wants to keep it private.

So in this one moment, wasn't it okay to feel angry? To have felt used and about to be discarded now that I had no more use?

I woke that morning to the sound of someone pounding on the hotel room door. I turned in the bed and ... she was gone. Ann. I buried my face in the pillow she had used just to catch the reminder of her scent and remembered that she'd snuck out of there early that morning after giving me one last time with her.

She left because ... well, let's just say she left with a smile on her fac. Her life was back in her own hands and it had been her choice to leave. I'd sat up for so long afterwards thinking what it had been like to have been that alive and that willing to feel like taking on the world.

When I'd fallen asleep, it had been with the aid of scotch. Numbing shots that calmed the itch I'd had to follow her.

My head throbbed as I climbed from the bed and went to the door. Eyeball to the peephole.

"Shit." It came out of me a lot louder but every bit as mean as I might have wanted.

"Good morning to you, too, sweetie."

"Christ. Are you always chirpie in the morning?" I asked her as I opened the door and waved her in. 

"Dino! Go get some clothes on. We have to get going," Annie told me, pretending to cover her eyes and grinning at me as she peeked.

"Not like you haven't seen it before, Annie," I grunted at her little theatrical act. But it was dirty pool. Shouldn't have said it. It made her turn from me. I almost apologized.

Inside the bathroom, I looked in the mirror as I bent to start the shower. Was that me? I had to be careful.

She was pacing in the room when I came out from the shower. At least I had a towel around my waist this time. I gathered up my clothes to change and was heading back to the bathroom to get dressed ...

Annie. Stepping in front of me. Sincerity and pain etched on her like second skin. Her hand on my chest stopping me cold.

"Dino? I just ..." Saying it in this whisper. Reminding me of how much she'd changed from the girl I'd held in my arms not too many hours earlier. "Just want you to know that I really appreciate what you've done for me. For her. No. For me. And I also want you to know that I am aware it likely cost you something to do this for me. I don't care what happened between you because I trust you that much. I know that whatever it was, it will be something she will always cherish. I can say that with certainty because that's how much I adore you so I know she will have also."

Her eyes were on me. Steady. These green fireballs. Pinning me to the wall. Making me lose my place.

And then she leaned into me, went on her toes and reached to kiss my cheek.

In an instant I cannot take back, I turned my mouth to find hers and ... I should have let it be a polite peck. But I didn't. She was off balance, teetering unsteadily into my body. In my control suddenly. I pulled her in against me as she wobbled. And I kissed her harder. Felt her try to regain her secure footing and then felt her give in to the knowledge that she wasn't the one in control just then.

That was all I wanted.

To regain something. To prove something to us both. Which is why I was the one who stopped before it went too far. "We have to hurry," she said when it was over. Her voice was hoarse and yet so low that if she hadn't been right next to me, I would never have understood her words. "We have to go."

I'll take the blame. I don't mind.

"Why do we have to hurry?" I asked her even as I was moving away to get dressed.

"When I came back into her, she was asleep in the apartment. I figure if we hurry, if we get back there and slip back through the portal, the next thing she'll be aware of is sitting in front of the computer. And she'll just assume she was sleepwalking." I looked at her over my shoulder. She shrugged and blushed. "I used to sleepwalk a lot back then."

So I was dressed and we were out of there in fifteen minutes. Took us another twenty minutes to get to the apartment.

I doubt we said more than ten words to each other. Just got there, pulled up the site, plugged in the password and ... we were holding hands when we went through. Just like we'd been doing when we went. But the unmistakable rush of chasing through a portal gave me the most amazing sensation of disconnect. We were still holding hands a moment too long after we were back in our world.

It's when it hit me.

The only important thing was that in the end, it worked. I'd changed her timeline.

My friend. Annie. I'd done it for her. And I had no regrets. I had made our bond stronger. She trusted in me. That's how good of a friend she thought of me. I'd never realized it before that one moment.