ANN

The ending of every vacation always has these twin feelings, doesn't it? You know - how you're so sad that you have to leave the fun and get back into the grind of real life ... but how you're also just a bit anxious to get back into the groove of normal days?

Okay, well, we all seemed a bit worn out by the vacation. Especially that last night. Magic, yeah, it was pure magic. Sigh. Jack. Jack! Something about that ceremony on the beach ... it had set the stage for a night of gentle whispers and bottomless acts of love between us. I think we surprised each other.

But that fucking wine of Bou's? It had a hell of a kick to it. And I for one woke feeling like it might have been the final kick I'd have in a while.

When the plane took off from Tortola, I snuggled into Jack's welcome arms and pressed my nose right into his neck. I could still smell the salt of the ocean clinging to him. He was a dream to fly with; I am such a white-knuckled flyer and yet distracted by Jack's presence, I felt the most unexpected sense of ease as the wheels lifted from the runway and the jet lurched slightly on its way to cruising altitude. Next thing I knew, I was lulled right into this delightful state of drowsing half-here, half-there.

His lips on my temples brought me to awareness about thirty minutes out of Miami. I stretched against him and stifled a giggle when he took advantage and felt me up.

My mouth at his ear: "Hey! Is this my straight-laced Captain Aubrey massaging my boobs in full view of anyone on this plane?"

He gave me that wicked grin I was infatuated with. "You were the one offering your bosom to me, my love. And besides, no one else is awake to bear witness to my inexcusably rude treatment of your body. I believe this vacation lingers in me by making me behave in a most inappropriate manner with you, amorata. I shall endeavor to reform my dishonorable ways from this moment hence."

"Never, Jack. You just go on and take advantage as you wish," I giggled to him.

A few minutes later, I got up to weave down the aisle to go to the restroom before we landed. Jack was almost right. Nearly everyone on the plane was asleep. Only Stephen and Dino seemed to be alert. They were sitting next to each other and engaging in a card game; poker, as I found when I got close enough to lean over and watch them.

"Red five on the black six," I cracked and Dino gave me that squint he does that I think is adorably so him.

I settled back in next to Jack just as the pilot told us all to get our seatbelts on to prepare for the landing. The mood aboard the plane was subdued compared to how we'd been when we had last been in Miami. Lots more suntans, lots more smiles, a bit more cooing ... yet I think there was a certain feeling for us all. We'd just spent two weeks together and so many things had happened. To me, it seemed I'd had some wonderful opportunities to develop new reasons to affirm that I'd made the right decision to return to this world. But there was another part of me that recognized that I had yet to find the way to answer most of the questions I'd come back with.

When the plane rolled softly to its stop, I felt reluctant to even rise from my seat at first. Perhaps it was the reality of what torture it would be to say goodbye to most of the people on this plane. Even the one I couldn't wait to never have to deal with again ... for the first time, I realized what it meant that I wouldn't see him anymore. Involuntarily, I rose and looked for where he was.

Odd ... he was glancing in my direction, too. This look passed between us ... like ... maybe we were both at peace with the other? Was this the truth between us - that we accepted that some things cannot be put right again between people? It felt sad but ... right. For the good of our family, it was important that we could be mature enough to recognize that whatever we had once felt was gone but that this didn't mean there was ever any need for outright hostility or anger between us. I gathered up all my courage and gave him the only smile I would ever have left for him. He didn't return it but he didn't toss a finger at me, either.

And it's when I really realized something. I was happy. I was okay. I wasn't perfect but that was just fine. I didn't need to know all the answers and it was entirely acceptable that my questions could haunt me. Who wanted to be perfect anyway? Wasn't it people's imperfections that made them so interesting?

Jack's hand on my elbow brought me back to the here and now. In the aisle as we were filing out of the plane, I was following Bud's nice back and had Jack's fine chest behind me. I almost laughed out loud to find myself tickled at being in such an enviable position. But then, as he stepped out of the plane, I noticed Bud's back snap straight up and he started peering around him. It was like he suddenly was on total alert and I wondered if he'd just seen some crime happen before his eyes. That's how quickly his entire body language changed.

And then as I stepped into the sunlit top step, behind me, I heard Jack curse under his breath: "God's teeth."

I peered at him over my shoulder; he was looking around and blinking hard in the glare of the tarmac as we walked down the steps from the plane.

"What is it, Jack?" I asked him quietly.

He took my hand and began striding toward the terminal; he was gripping me so tightly. "Nothing, my little dear. Just this ... It is nothing. Although, there seems to be something ... something ..."

"Something? Like what?"

"Do not laugh at me, amorata, but I ... I sense something. But all of you are here unless ... Perhaps Miss Roo?" He looked at me hopefully. "Was Miss Roo planning to meet our plane today?"

"No, not that I know of. I don't understand. Why would you think that?"

"Because we can fucking tell when a Sister's around and ... fuck. I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling that fucking sense of ..." Bud interrupted, his voice almost grumpy.

"Oh, give me a break. You don't ... I mean ... you really do sense us then?" I asked them.

"You knew that, Ann. We always know who you are, don't we?" Bud asked me, looking at me like I'd just lost about half my brain cells.

"Well, I suppose I've always thought that was just a bit of exaggeration that you Brothers tell us to make us feel special."

They both scowled at me. I looked at Darcy. "Didn't you always just think they were making that crap up? Like it was some kind of mystical come on line?"

"Nope. It just seemed like each time I met one for the first time, they were already aware of who I was before I could introduce myself," she said.

"Okay, fine. I'm the only skeptic in the group apparently. However, your Spidy-sense is on the whack, boys, because we're the only Sisters anywhere around. Roo's not here and the rest of us are. Maybe you're just tired and we're overloading your senses," I said.

More scowls my way. I threw up my hands and walked into the terminal. Along the way, I couldn't help but notice that each Brother seemed a bit on edge. Such a change from how they'd been relaxing and snoozing on the plane. Even Dino was more agitated than normal. He was almost bouncing from foot to foot as we waited for our luggage.

"Man, if they don't all calm down, they're just asking to get targeted by Customs for a strip search," I told Isobel. She didn't seem to really hear me.

Then again, why should she? Us, go through Customs? Are you kidding? With Terry and Dino's connections? Some guy in a black suit was waiting for us and we just waltzed right past all the lines.

And so there we were. All sort of milling about outside Customs and checking the terminal board to find out where we each had to go to pick up our flights home. Yet, we just seemed like we didn't want to leave the comfort of the group.

Finally, Reagan spoke up. "Okay, it seems the first flight anyone has to make is ours and we don't leave for two hours. Let's go find a bar here where we can have a final toast to a great vacation."

Dino and I both spoke up at once. We each named the same terminal bar - guess we'd both spent enough time in this airport to have formed definite opinions of the right bar to go to. But this one really was primo. It was beautiful and it was peaceful and it was right in the center of all the domestic terminals. Shot all through with cool neon tubes of greens and blues. Lots of deep, dark wood and soft mauve leather seats.

So once we all checked our bags through, we congregated back at the bar. We'd been there about a half hour and, please forgive me for my inability to be charitable, but a whole group of edgy men was getting on my nerves. It was like they were all waiting for something. I excused myself and went to the ladies room just to get away from them. I am a nervous enough flier without them ramping up the tension that starts to build up in me before I actually get on a plane.

Inside, I paused after doing my duty and peeked inside the lounge area. One of those girly places with mirrors, vanity benches, soft music, tissues, lotions. I took a seat and messed with my makeup just to kill some time.

And then, it happened.

I looked up and saw her as soon as she entered the lounge.

"Heather?" I remember how odd it felt. I had this tingly feeling ... like something important was about to happen. "Isn't it? Heather, right? We met on the ferry to Tortola? Wow. This is such a small world."

She smiled at me and walked over. We shook hands. She seemed ... nervous.

"Hey, you know what? Dino's out in the bar. He'll be thrilled to see you. He couldn't stop talking about you when he came back to the ship and ..."

"Dino? He's here?"

I was just about to ask her ... was that a good thing or a bad thing that Dino was nearby? I couldn't really tell, to be honest. It seemed to fluster her. But before I could ask, Isobel and Uma walked in.

Isobel stopped dead in her tracks and just stared at Heather. I started laughing because I suddenly flashed on how me, Jeff, Paul and Dino had stared at her on the ferry. She was really going to think I hung with some weird people.

And then Isobel gave this big grin. "You're Heather, aren't you? I can't believe it, but, then again, it just had to be," she said. "I'm Isobel. We've exchanged emails."

"Isobel? That Isobel?" Heather's eyes got big and she shook her head. "No way."

"Way," our priestess said with a giggle. "You know, somehow it's just so very right that you're here."

"What? Y'all know each other?" I asked.

"This is Dino's Heather?" Uma asked.

Isobel couldn't stop laughing. "This is our Heather. She's the one we've been watching."

"But ... I thought it was someone named Lachlyn?" I said.

"Yeah, Lachlyn's the one we have been getting to know," Uma insisted.

"Actually, Lachlyn's my screen name," Heather told us.

And, I guess the realization hit Uma and I at the same time. This was the one we'd all been watching as she came closer to us over the past months. The one Teener had first sensed. The one the rest of us had been carefully assessing to see if she was really going to be that unique woman who was capable of becoming a Sister. The one we had hoped to initiate into the Sisterhood of the Diarists upon our return from the vacation.

As Isobel had once said to us, she had to be out there searching. And we had to know she was seeking.

"When Jeff told me that he'd met you ..." Isobel started.

I jumped in on her words. "Wait! Jeff knew who she was when we met her on the ferry and the twerp didn't tell me? I'll kill him."

"No, no. It wasn't like that. He just ... he just sensed she was another Sister and it freaked him out a bit."

"Oh, God," I said, remembering. "He did sense her. He asked me if I felt anything. I'd forgotten. But ... Jesus. Oh. Oh, no."

"What?" they asked me as one.

"Dino," I whispered. Isobel nodded. "He was the first one to notice her. Even before Jeff. Damn, but does that mean he sensed her, too, just like the Brothers do? Did he realize?"

Isobel shook her head. "No, he doesn't. But it can only mean one thing. And it's so right, isn't it?"

I looked at Uma and we both gave this instant little shriek. "Dino's a Brother!" I squealed.

But somehow, just those words did something to Uma. Her instant grin evaporated into a bit of a shocked look. Barely more than a muttered aside to me: "Not for me, he isn't."

Of course not. Above all the others, I understood - Terry had a way of making such things clear. Uma and Dino had come close in Tecala but she knew deep in her soul even then that it would have been deemed clearly off limits by Terry. Hell, Terry had even made a similar point to me when he'd let Dino come down to see me that one time - keep it to friends, nothing more. While that was no longer an issue for me, I believe there was never a doubt in my mind just how much more strongly he would have felt about any possibility that Uma would ever share more than friendship with his best friend.

Still ... just the idea. Dino. From the moment he'd come into our world, he'd become like family to us all, I think. But, who could have ever imagined that there might have been a reason he was drawn here to us? Could it have been more perfect?

I couldn't help it, really. The idea of what was happening ... standing there inside the ladies room in the Miami/Dade airport and what a place to learn the most stunning news in so long?

A new Sister! A new Brother!

Just then the door opened to admit Darcy, Teener and Reagan. I couldn't help my reaction; excitement does that to me. And, after all, I am known for my ability to deliver the key messages, so I delivered this one in a joyous screech: "Dino's a Brother! And Heather's a Sister!"

Thankfully, Isobel took over and made a bit more coherent sense of the situation. And here's what it was: Heather had come to us over the almost-final step in what surely had to be the strangest way any Sister has arrived. But then again ... we'd never all been in one place before and Isobel figured it was this convergence of our spirits that had drawn Heather right into our midst in the BVI and now in Miami. And Dino ...

"Dino's a Brother?" Reagan yelped, in a most un-Reagan voice. "Oh, fuck!"

And Uma and I responded as one: "Well ... yeah. We are talking Dino here."

At this, everyone just exploded in giddy laughter and crude remarks about what we might create as his initiation rites.

And all this time, well, I give Heather a lot of credit. She wasn't the least bit phased by all our antics. A born Sister if there ever was one.

I got this sudden inspiration. We needed to all be together to really welcome Heather. A most unorthodox introduction, to be sure, in a rather weird place - I mean, really, a ladies room in an airport? But all of us available Sisters should be together for this. So I rushed out and bopped into the bar. "Bou," I ordered. "Get your ass in the ladies room. Mandatory meeting of the Scooby Gang."

Her presence seemed to bring a greater sense of gravity to the situation. In a much calmer atmosphere, we each stepped forward and introduced ourselves. At first, we just kind of looked at Heather and she studied us. And then, we all started babbling nearly at once.

And then ... poor Heather. She wasn't used to all of us together. So far, the only ones she'd really had one-on-one conversations with were Isobel and Teener. Yet, I hope I am not mistaken, there was just such an instant connection. As it should have been. I'd liked her when I first met her and had felt this sense that I had met someone I could have been such close friends with ... and I'd actually been damned disappointed that I knew I'd never see her again when she stayed behind on Tortola with Dino.

While we might have been watching Heather closely, we never shared some secrets with non-Sisters. We all remembered what it was like to come into the knowing of the other Sisters - the questions that you don't even know to ask, the rush of acceptance that it just feels right even if you can't yet put your finger on it all at first. Isobel made the most beautiful little explanation of what it would mean to be a Sister. She ran through the more important Rules and a few of our conventions, but mostly she focused on the things that you just don't understand until you are a member of this group of remarkable women.

"You have been called to us for a reason. It shall be your quest to understand why and it shall be our pleasure to help you as you seek," Isobel told her.

The questions started. The sharing began. The desire to welcome her was overwhelming. We'd been watching her for a while and it just hadn't ever seemed real that there was another one of us out there. And now it was. Think of how this affected us.

I was the first to think of the next thing.

"The fucking Brothers!" I shouted and smacked my head. They all looked at me like I had just made the crudest comment and let me assure you, it was nowhere near being the crudest thing that had been said. Oh, come on, surely you know us better than that? "Oh, get off it. No, what I mean is, the Brothers have been feeling her ever since we got to the airport. Remember, Darcy? The way Bud and Jack were? They were all feeling it and it confused them. And, you know what? They are going to be fucking mental when we introduce them to her. Can you even imagine what that's going to be like?"

"Bloody hell. And how about our little virgin Sister? All those men? She might swoon from all the testosterone that will be given out as they each preen for her. I can't wait," Uma said with an evil chuckle.

"Maybe she doesn't want to meet them all at once," Bou said.

"Maybe she does," Darcy said. "Maybe we should ask her."

"I'm just not sure," Heather admitted. 

"You do," Teener insisted. "You know you do. Just a quick intro. We're not asking you to have group sex with them."

"Yet," Reagan said. Her delivery was perfect ... drop dead droll and it broke us the hell up.

"Too bad. That might have been a real good way to break the ice," Heather gave it back to us. Oh, yeah. She was definitely a Sister!

HEATHER

Do you ever have those moments where you feel like if someone froze time and took a snapshot, you'd look at it and say emphatically, "This is not my life!"?  Well, Diary, surrounded by all my new Sisters (in the ladies room of the Miami/Dade airport, no less) I had the overwhelming urge to do exactly that.

To quote a rather notable expression of incredulity, "Holy snappin' assholes!"

For as much as I wanted the Game to be real, my rational mind had always insisted it was a lark, a game, a bit of fantasy dreamed up by a group of talented writers sharing the same muse.  To suddenly realize it wasn't - to realize the Brothers were real... that the messages I'd seen on my computer screen had truly come from Maximus and Bud and Hando...

Dear God.

I'd actually exchanged words with the General of the Armies of the North.  My mind was reeling as the rest of it clicked into place.  It meant Bud really had flirted with me and Hando really had said - well, never you mind what he said.  

All the conversations I'd had with everyone came flooding back with startling clarity and in that moment, they truly came alive to me.  Real people with hopes and fears and dreams.  It was like having a blindfold stripped off and suddenly finding myself blinking up at a brilliant sun I'd never before experienced except for its warmth on my cheeks.       

Oh, Diary, Morpheus and his little red pill had nothing on these ladies.  I was so far down the rabbit-hole, even a bottle of blue pills couldn't have led me home again.  It was truly an experience beyond words.  Honestly, how does one describe that wondrous feeling of belonging?  It was more than the strange 'Spidy-sense' that had been niggling at me, more still than the sense of portent that had been pulling at my consciousness.  It was more than I'd ever imagined it to be.  Hell, it was more than I ever even knew it could be. 

It was coming home, Diary.  

And not in that romantic, flowery sense where music plays softly in the background and all the world is sunshine and roses.  It was real.  Gritty.  A small span of time filled with raw emotion and nervous smiles.  Ribald laughter.  Bawdy jokes.  Acceptance and curiosity and, yes, the urge for a nerve-steadying drink or three.

On the heels of that understanding came one of even greater import.  Yes, my life had changed, but it was a change for each of my new Sisters as well.  Can you imagine, Diary, the grace needed to welcome a new Sister into the fold?  This World is held in such a delicate balance and for them to admit me, to welcome me, knowing I would share intimacies with each of the men who held their hearts?  It was as humbling an experience as it was exciting.

And strangely enough, even as Isobel imparted words of both beauty and caution and we all began to share of ourselves in a giddy rush, we were still very much like any other group of women gathered together.  We gossiped and giggled and joked about men and their oddities.  It was grand fun, as fun goes.  And truthfully, Diary, in the way of women the world over, I couldn't help but compare myself to them.  These were women who could (and did) hold the hearts of great men.  Heroes.  Soldiers.  Outlaws.  Fathers.  Warriors and peacemakers alike.   

I couldn't help but feel as though I would be measured against them and found wanting.  I would never have Isobel's grace or Bou's strength or Uma's sophistication or any of a hundred other qualities I admired in my new Sisters.  And yet, I still felt a part of them.  No, more than just a part of them.  I felt like family. 

Sisters.

I smile even now, thinking of that moment when Isobel's words breathed imagination into being. 

You have been called to us for a reason. It shall be your quest to understand why and it shall be our pleasure to help you as you seek.

 

That sentiment was still lingering in my thoughts when the conversation turned to the Brothers.  Still so wrapped up in the novelty of meeting my Sisters, I hadn't even considered the possibility of meeting the Brothers.  The abrupt change in topic sparked a flurry of dissenting opinions and then there was this sudden lull when I was asked if I even wanted to meet them all together like that.  Everyone stopped and looked over at me and I remember feeling a great number of emotions roll through me just then, chiefly among them, uncertainty. 

Of course the idea of meeting the Brothers appealed to me.  I wouldn't have expressed interest in the Game otherwise.  And yet, I wasn't sure if I wanted it to be like that.  All of them at once?  No time to prepare?  I vaguely recall voicing that opinion, even as I realized it was going to happen anyway.

Ah, Diary, for all my fire, in that moment how I felt like running.   

I was just screwing my courage to its sticking place when it suddenly occurred to me that I was hardly dressed for the occasion.  Come on... jeans, sandals and a white t-shirt?  Sure, the jeans were the sexy low rise kind and the top was new and showed off the tan I'd gotten in the islands... but really, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I daydreamed about meeting each of them, you know?  I'm the kind of woman who likes to dress for a man, and quite frankly, I'd dressed to be comfortable on a long flight, not to please a man's considerable appetites.    

Still, the lure of the Brothers was far too tempting to resist.  (As if there'd ever been any doubt.)  For God's sake, I'd been flirting with the feeling of them for nearly two weeks now.  To leave without letting that heightened sense of awareness slip into sweet surcease was unthinkable. 

And so, Diary, bolstered by my Sisters' good cheer and droll jests (to which I couldn't resist adding my own humble rejoinders) I found myself swept along in an eddy of feminine anticipation.  In mere moments, I would meet the Brothers and the waters of our lives would mix.  I knew then, Diary, that no matter what adventures this new horizon held, my pen would never again touch your pages in quite the same way. 

ANN

So, whether she liked it or not, Heather had been talked into coming out of the ladies room and meeting all the Brothers who had been along on the trip. But before we trooped out, Isobel explained to Heather that the formal entry our World would be waiting for her when she next logged on to her email. One link in and it would be official.

As we entered the bar, Isobel took Heather's hand and Teener stuck close to Heather's side. All I could imagine is how this would have scared the shit out of me. It would have seemed way too much, way too soon. But then, I think one thing we knew about Heather was that she might have taken measured steps but she was never going to shirk from a challenge.

Every Brother was on his feet when we came in. Well, except Hando, who was way too cool to show that he shared his brothers' sense of an impending something as we approached. Suffice it to say, Isobel's explanation and introduction were almost not needed. They knew. They did. They might not have believed it because it was such an unorthodox and unexpected way to meet a Sister. But they recovered quickly.

Left to right. Introductions made by Isobel. Greetings given by each man. Heather just absorbed it all. I wondered ... was she numb? Overwhelmed? Excited? Disbelieving? Shocked? Wet (oh, come on, you know you were thinking the same thing!)?

Max, first up, had been watching her through all of this time and his body language was guarded; his eyes revealed his interest. His greeting was a gentle nod and a polite handshake. "Welcome, Heather. It is with great joy that you are welcomed to the family. I look forward to spending time with you in a visit, at your convenience, of course."

Jeff next and in his normal cheeky fashion, grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her in for a peck on the lips: "G'day, mate. Glad to welcome you to the fold, Heather. Hope you're ready for the experience. Let's get together soon, love. You already know I'm a poofter but this is one who still loves women as long as they're Sisters."

Sweet Jack stepped forward and bent deep over her hand, taking it lightly with his to press a lingering kiss there. And, would it have been Lucky Jack if he hadn't been distracted as he rose to meet her eyes by this brief appreciation of her bosom? Ah, Jack! "My dear Miss Heather. It is with the deepest joy that I welcome you to our world. I pray you will find much joy, freedom, love and friendship here with your Sisters and Brothers. I look forward to a visit at your earliest convenience. Your humble servant, my dear."

John, all shaggy and sincere, shook her hand before leaning in to give her a warm hug. Isn't he adorable? "Hey, there. Welcome to our little world. I think you're going to fit right in and be real happy here. Can't wait to spend a bit of time getting to know you, Heather."

Hando deigned to rise when Isobel introduced him. "'Bout time some fresh meat was on the menu. Heather, eh? Whattaya say, fireball, ya wanna step up to the plate? How's about you and me christen my new shop?"

Heather's eyes widened but she didn't shirk from him. She returned his handshake firmly and never so much as blinked as his eyes challenged her. Ah, a Sister after my own heart! Teener was not at all pleased with our Hando's performance.

Terry, smooth as silk, stepped in to move her along. Leaning in, soft kiss on the cheek, hand on her arm, this way he has of giving a woman the once over that makes her feel noticed by a man worth being noticed by ... even I had to admit, he had charms. "Heather, love, ignore young Adolf. This is a very special day for all of us and I'm looking forward to getting to know you."

Bud ... who wouldn't melt when he latched on to her with those sweet eyes and smiled that little half smile of his? And then, ever the protective gentleman, he asked if he could get her a drink and invited her to sit down and join us all. "Just have a seat here, doll," he said, pulling out a chair. She sat, he leaned in closer and said with his lopsided smile, "I'm lookin' forward to getting to know you better, baby." He glanced around at his Brothers. "And make sure you come to me if you ever need any help. These shitbirds can be a lot for a lady to handle."

Cort had been grinning at her the whole time. When Isobel introduced him, he leaned in, gave her a soft kiss on the cheek and whispered something in her ear that made her blush and giggle. As he drew away, he said, "Let's get together soon, darlin'. I hear from Isobel you like to go dancing. I'd love to take you for a turn around the floor."

And then ... Dino. Uncharacteristically reserved. A handshake, the longest look in her eyes. Almost sad smile. "Good to see you again, Heather."

HEATHER

How does one describe the single most surreal moment they've ever experienced?  I've considered and discarded nearly every descriptive word that's come to mind thus far.  Even words like amazing and extraordinary don't even come close to naming what I felt as I watched them watch me.  And like meeting the Sisters, it wasn't some airbrushed to perfection, overly romanticized moment where all the world is hearts and flowers.  It was as real and as raw a moment as meeting the Sisters had been.  Perhaps even more so for the unmistakable undercurrents of attraction swirling between us. 

It made me uncomfortable.  

I know how the Game's played, Diary.  I do.  But knowing and experiencing are two entirely different things, and in those brief seconds, I think I truly understood what it was to be a Sister.  All of these incredible men would share something of themselves, their private selves, with me.  In return, I was expected to share of myself through your pages, Diary.  An exchange.  A bit of self ventured.  A bit of trust gained.  Relationships foraged, strengthened... risked.  People moving through each other's lives, touching, influencing.  Like some cosmic chessboard of white knights and queens and pawns.  Like a game. 

A Game.

Oh, God.      

I had the sense that every other Sister would have handled that electric moment better than I did, with more grace or more courage or more fire.  I simply let it wash over me and then somehow I was outside myself, watching what was happening from very far away.  I could hear Isobel explaining my presence to the Brothers, but my mind was suddenly wondering what this whole thing must look like to an outsider.

Surely, even one Brother alone garnered attention.  I'd always wanted to ask my Sisters about that.  Do you ever get stopped?  Does anyone ever ask for an autograph?  Seeing all the Brothers together like that, well, I wondered if maybe there was a reason they didn't make a habit of gathering together outside of the Temple.  Even in the dim light of the bar, people were openly staring and I wondered how long it'd be before someone took a picture.  I smothered a very inappropriate laugh at the thought of the Creator's reaction to stumbling across the lot of them.  And then suddenly, it wasn't so funny.  I sure wouldn't care to run across a group of women with my face, especially if some of them were incarnations from my youth. 

The first touch of Max's solid palm against mine jolted me back to the here and now.  He radiated authority.  I know it seems stupid, but I had the strongest urge to kneel before him- though not in the sense you're probably thinking of, Diary.  And not in blind adoration either.  Regardless of his accomplishments, he's still simply a man.  It was more like in that moment, I understood what it was to prostrate yourself.  It wasn't about power or subservience.  It was about giving honor where honor was due.  His words were polite.  I said nothing.  I didn't have to.  It seems our Max measures the hearts of women as easily as he does the hearts of men.  

Before I'd even recovered from the intensity of Max's gaze, Jeff had pulled me in for a quick peck and a few comments, delivered with his usual cheek.  Not without a little cheek of my own, I fired one right back at him, gave Paul a wink and to the amusement of all present, pulled Jeff back in for a second quick peck.  He played right along, of course.  Pursed his lips and made an audible smacking noise.  Quite the cut up, that one. 

Jack was next, and I don't mind admitting that he took my breath away.  Lucky Jack?  Lucky Ann, more like.  You want to know a secret, Diary?  For as much as the younger, thinner Brothers might light my fire, it's men with heavy imposing frames like Jack and Max and Terry that really do it for me.  He was ever the gentleman, of course, but I did not miss the guileless look of appreciation aimed at my chest before his warm eyes found mine.  I wanted to kiss him, Diary, and not at all in the same way I'd just kissed Jeff.  Sweet Jack.  I wondered what he'd think if he knew I had the same sense of undeniable appreciation he did - only mine was for certain portions of the male figure. 

I exchanged a warm hug with John next.  How could a Sister not feel welcomed by his quiet strength?  I knew at once we'd be fast friends and not just because we're both from Alaska.  Unable to resist the temptation, I gave him an Eskimo kiss.  His eyes widened briefly and then a large smile split his face.  Strange isn't it, Diary, how sharing something so small can mean so much?

Even without looking, I could tell who was coming next.  I took a deep breath and hoped to God I wasn't shaking as Hando rose up in front of me.  He'd asked me once if I was afraid of him.  My answer?  A digital interface and a thousand miles of distance have a way of making a girl feel safe.  I don't suppose I need to tell you exactly how safe I felt in that moment, Diary. 

His welcome was classic Hando - crass, direct and with an edge of challenge I couldn't help but respond to.  You'd never know by his greeting what had passed between us in chat.  I returned his handshake firmly and refused to be cowed by the intensity of his stare.  And God, Diary, I had the urge to kneel before him as well, although this time it had nothing to do with honor and everything to do with female responding to male in the most base way possible.  And damn him if he didn't know it, the bastard. 

For as exciting as meeting everyone was, I was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed.  Terry was there a moment later, lending me his strength.  His hand on my arm, his lips soft against my cheek.  Whereas all the previous greetings had left me feeling various shades of joyful anticipation, Terry's only left me feeling sad and I couldn't help but wonder if this might be the only time he ever kissed me. 

Let me explain, Diary, before this winds up sounding like a maudlin drama.  Terry's the reason I was drawn to this game to begin with and I'd harbored selfish hopes I might someday find something special with him.  Not like what he shared with Uma or what I might find with the man destined to be my own Number One, but still, something special all our own.  Something like Izzy had found with Bud or Darcy had found with Cort or Uma had found with Max.  I couldn't help but recall Uma's hastily whispered words to Ann when we all found out Dino was a Brother.  There are some things a man doesn't share, not even with his best mate. 

Like the women he holds closest to his heart, Diary.  

I knew then what I'd hoped for was forever out of my reach.  Dino and I had spent the night together.  It didn't matter that we hadn't had sex.  No matter what either of us said, I knew that's what would stick in Terry's mind.  Oh, it didn't mean he wouldn't come if I invited him, but I'd lost the chance for something special with him.  And honestly, Diary, I wasn't sure I could lay with him knowing that.  It would hurt too much.  Better to stay clear of him altogether.

And just as Terry had rescued me from Hando, Bud stepped in and rescued me from Terry.  White knight, indeed.  For all our teasing, there really is something special about how he looks after a woman.  And Diary?  His words might have been sweet and protective, but there was heat in his eyes when he looked at me and I knew he was reminding me of the promise I made him.  (Come on!  As if I'd ever welsh on that deal.)  The warmth in his gaze burned away the last of my melancholy and with a playful little look of my own, I let him see I'd forgotten nothing. 

My eyes slipped from Bud's to Cort's as he leaned in to kiss my cheek and whispered in my ear, "I see the way we watch you, Darlin'.  I see the way you watch us.  I think when I come to you, you'll have much to confess."  He smiled at the blush he drew from me and then he told me in that smoky sweet voice of his that he'd love to dance with me.  Dancing with Cort.  It makes me shiver just thinking about it. 

Dino was the last one to greet me.  And for two people with rather mischievous spirits, our greeting was markedly reserved.  His eyes held mine a long moment and understanding passed between us.  He didn't need to say the words.  I didn't need to hear them.  We knew why our night ended as it had.  His smile was sad and when he spoke, the words were low and quiet.  He knew the impact they'd have, just as I did.  I chose not to look at Terry.  I didn't want to see his ardor cool when the inevitable question came, and I knew it would.  I'm not ashamed of my night with Dino; in fact, it was one of the most incredible nights of my life, but I knew the minute the words left his mouth what the other would think.  And you know what, Diary?  I was right.  

ANN

It only really dawned on me when I saw that sad smile of Dino's as he looked at Heather. Christ. They'd been together a whole night and ... even if nothing like love had transpired between them, how must it have felt to Dino to have been swept off his feet by her (and I knew he had been just from the brief bits he'd said about her when he'd come back to the boat) only to suddenly find himself in this position? Two weeks of playing second fiddle most of the time to a shipload of Brothers and the only woman he'd met the whole time was now another Sister? Another woman he must have felt would put him second to the Brothers?

Then again, he didn't know, did he? That there was a reason he'd first noticed her with the sharpness he had. That there was a reason he'd been so drawn to her. That there was a reason she had been drawn to him. That there was a reason they had met.

"You know her?"  Bud stood to face Dino, his voice was low but there seemed to be an inherent suspicion there.     

Dino's soft voice; the one that says there's some real steel hidden there but he won't ramp it up unless forced to by the other person. "We met on the ferry and wound up having a nice dinner together." 

"As long as it wasn't breakfast, too."  Hando fixed Dino with an icy stare.

"Hey. That's enough," I said.

"What?"  Hando looked at me, that infuriating blank face of his that makes me want to smack him a good one. A possessive stroke over Teener's neck. "I'm tired of him fuckin' our women." 

I looked swiftly around at the other Brothers; caught some hard glances between them, especially Cort and Bud, that seemed to acknowledge agreement with Hando's sentiment. Into this suddenly uncomfortable atmosphere, Terry said, "You got a problem with him hanging around with the Sisters? They don't seem to mind it. Don't remember hearing any complaints from any of them. And none of you had any problems with him setting us all up with the money that's making all this shit possible. "

Bud's eyebrows rose. "Red's a good man to have at your back when shit goes down the hard way, but he ain't playing by the rules and that puts the girls at risk."  There was more nodding between the Brothers.

Dino fixed Bud with a hard stare.  "You have something to say to me, hermano?" 

Jack interrupted before things could really get out of hand.  "Gentlemen, a little decorum if you please."

"Dino?" I said it softly and ... God ... his eyes ... he was such a good friend. I hated seeing the hurt there. "Isobel has something to tell you."

She walked over to him and took his hands in hers. We watched as she smiled warmly at him and he gave her that tilt to his head, not wanting to spoil her delivery but anxiously awaiting more crappy news.

"Jeff told us something that's very important for you to think about," Isobel began. "He said you were the first to sense Heather."

"Well ... yeah. Who wouldn't have noticed such a beautiful woman, Izzy? Do you think I went blind at some recent point?" he said, his voice bearing the tiniest edge.

"It was more than just her looks though. Wasn't it?" she prodded him. "Think about it, Dino. Wasn't there ... something? Some sense about her? When you spent time with her, weren't there moments you just knew? Just knew ... that it was something important happening?"

He looked from her to Heather. "What's up, Izzy?"

"Do you remember when you first saw Uma? In Tecala?"

His eyes darted to Uma ... then just that swiftly to Terry. Then to the carpet as if something mighty important needed his attention down there. "Yeah. I remember when I first saw ..." Eyes suddenly up at Isobel and a confused frown on his face. "Jesus. Yes. I do remember. I ... it was ... I ..."

"Remember your dream, Dino," Uma said into the sudden hush that had fallen over us.

His eyes moved over everyone. He backed away a few steps and shook his head.

Every Sister there was nodding her head and smiling at him.

"Welcome, Dino. Our newest Brother," Isobel told him. Her voice was so tender and I knew every one of us felt the moment. Dino looked deep in her eyes and I am sure he found the truth in there. His eyes examined each of us and I loved the sly smile that crept over his face as the reality set in.

Okay, so you already know that I am a smart ass at odd times? This was one of those. "Hey. Is it time for his initiation rite?" I said suddenly. "You know? The part where each of the Sisters gets to give him his first official kiss as a Brother?"

It broke the tension. And Dino ... love the redhead! Have I mentioned that before? He crooked a finger at me, saying low and very dangerous, "You first then, Annie."

I gave him my best squeal and ran into his open arms. Stunning. That's all I'll say. Oh, and that I think I was weaving just a bit as I tried to walk back to where Jack was sitting. I perched on his knee and hugged in on him. Watched Dino bask in the limelight of the Sisters' attentions. He so deserved this.

Peering around at the men, I tried to measure their response to this development. Various stages of shock, is how I read it. And needing something to serve as a bonding moment. It came from Hando of all people.

"Oi, Dino. The fucking initiation for the Brothers involves you buying the next round. So get yer arse in gear," he growled out.

I give the Brothers credit. They took it like men. They must have each, individually, felt that breath of a moment you must take when news shocks you and yet somehow doesn't really surprise you in the end. Like you've just already known it, even if you never could have imagined it. By the time the last Sister gave Dino a welcome, they were all up, shaking his hand and beating him on the back - you know, that ancient manly man ritual of supposed friendliness that you just gotta wonder about? Well, at least no one patted him on the ass or we would have been in true macho jock heaven.

Last one to greet him was Terry. They just stood looking at each other for a moment. And then gave one of those full body handshakes that they manage to make look like sweet affection.

It was a whole new chapter for us. We were writing the future with each breath we took.

So there we all sat. Toasting our new family members. And then I saw Stephen walking back in the bar; I had forgotten it until that moment, but Stephen had not been in the bar when we'd returned to make our twin announcements about Heather and Dino.

He was muttering to himself and looking around like he was the least bit puzzled. His eyes lit on us and he gave us a brilliant grin.

I whispered to Jack, "Will this bother Stephen? I mean, that Dino is and he's not ...? You know?"

But before Jack could reply, Stephen was in our midst. He never paused. Walked right up to where Heather was sitting between Bud and Isobel.

Before anyone could introduce them, Stephen bent smartly over Heather's hand to plant a soft kiss. "Ah, delightful! I see we have a new Sister in our midst. Welcome, my dear."

Stunned silence.

Broken by Jack's voice of delighted awe, speaking it for us all: "Brother!"

Ah. Indeed. I believe we all smoked his meaning.