Where is that fucking phone number? I thought I had saved it into my cell phone but it's not here - its just not here. A pox on all that is holy - I...there it is! Too many "Johns" in my address book. (Ha!) I filed him under Sheriff.

Pressing the speed-dial number. Pressing end. 

No. I can't call him. He has made it abundantly clear how he feels about my "obsession," as he calls it. I appreciated the psychiatric referrals he emailed me. But if this is a problem, I don't want it solved.

Deep breath. 

You have to talk to someone, chick. How much longer can you take it? How long before you have a complete meltdown? 

Pressing the speed-dial number. 

"John?" 

"Tina?" Concerned, worried voice. "What's wrong honey? You sound like you've been crying." 

Sniff. "I was scared to call you..."

"Why would you be scared? Did - what - ?" Angrily. "Has Hando done something to you?" 

If you only knew, John - if you ONLY had a clue. 

"No." At a loss. Don't know where to start. 

"Wait. That's right. One of your sisters told me that you had taken a leave of absence from us. She said that you were frustrated with the internet world and needed a break. Is that what's wrong? Please, Tina - talk to me. Tell me so I can help you."

"Do you promise not to email me more shrink contacts?" 

Chuckling, "Yesss. I see some of your humor is still intact." 

That voice - the moment he answered the phone, I didn't know whether to speak into it or give it a blow job. Bebe should bottle it and sell it. I can just imagine him sitting there, grinning ear to ear at my joke - playful shiny eyes...

I sat down on the floor of my bathroom and began my confession. It seems like something I should be doing with Cort, but I needed John at this moment.

"I can't live without him, John. I'm a complete mess. I thought I could handle the distance... I thought I was a strong person. I can't breathe."

"Tina..." a disappointed tone in his voice.

"I knew you wouldn't understand. John - I haven't slept since he left. When rest does come to me, so does Hando. He is all I see. He is all I feel. I am at peace. I awake and realize that it is all a shadow, I break down. He is punishing me, you know... This is what I get for deserting him like I did. I can't go on like this. I can't exist without his touch."

"Shh, Tina, I am really worried about you. I should call the Brother or Sister nearest to your location and insist that they take you to seek some professional help right away, but..."

"I don't need this from you - I gotta go..."

"Wait! Let me finish," he paused. "I have it on sincere authority that Hando needs you as well. It is obvious that you and he have a bond that no one can fathom. Yes, I have heard the stories about the two of you, as sick as they may be."

"He misses me? You think?" My entire night changed to day. 

"I don't understand how two people can taunt each other that way and enjoy it. 

Yes, I think he does miss you. Of course, he would never admit it. Look, I don't condone this relationship at all, Tina. You two are a time bomb waiting to explode. The kinky things you do..."

"John," sarcastically, "you didn't seem to mind my kinkiness the last time you visited me, now did you?" 

Nervously, "Uh...that's not the point, T-"

"Everyone needs to take a walk on the wild side once in awhile, I just happen to reside there." 

"Grrrr...if you ever share what we did with Ivy, I'll..."

"You'll what, John? Spank me harder next time?" Giggling. 

"Very funny. I've got to go - I'm taking Ivy out for dinner tonight and it's time for us to leave. Will you be ok? Want me to call later?" 

"No. I'll be ok. I just needed your voice. I guess I should contact the Sisters to see where he is and see if he'll come back.....home."

"I'm sure he's probably on this way." 

"Thanks, John. Kisses to you and Ivy. Bye." 

"Bye." 

Mmm...nothing like a good soak in the spa to relax and collect one's thoughts. I leaned against the side of the tub and rested my head on my folded arms, soothed by the sounds of the nocturnal insect orchestra playing all around me.

Soon. Very soon. I will feel the rough skin of his hands on my body, squeezing. 

He will wind my hair around his fist and growl his orders to me. I will comply and ask forgiveness. His solid length of manhood will invade me over and over and I will weep with happiness. Screaming his name to the goddesses, I will beg him to mark me with his bite - make me bleed my penance. Sweat will pour from his body and mingle with my own in a stew of primal coupling. He will come with a gush, gracing my body with his seed. All will be right in my world.

"I can see your thoughts, pet. Done playing games?" 

"You aren't real. I don't have time for make-believe any more. Go find someone else to play." 

"Can't do that. You know where your place is. It is time that you were reminded." 

Moments later, I felt the presence of another in the spa. 

"Show me. Now..." the voice commanded.

I turned. I went down to my knees and worshipped his cock with my mouth and tongue as he stood above me like a god. 

He patted my head as he hissed air through his teeth, "That's it...just like that. Mine."