Part: Three

Saturday, October 11

Having memorized the address that Sarah had given him, Jim plotted his MUNI trip so that he arrived in the Marina District at a quarter to seven. That gave him time enough to stop by a flower shop on Chestnut Street and pick up a bouquet for his date and arrive on her apartment doorstep promptly at 7pm, as promised.

He hadn't had a reason to wear a suit in months and the brand new tie felt snug around his thick neck, but a quick glance in a storefront window confirmed that he looked very dapper. Nevermind that the indoor mall on Market Street that Victor had recommended - three floors of slick and glittering consumer frenzy - had been nearly overwhelming enough to make his head spin.

In the end, the salesman at Macy's had helped him to find just the right shade of blue silk tie to offset the chalk-stripe of his charcoal wool suit, and Jimmy had left the store feeling on top of the world.

And now, here it was - 7pm Saturday night - and the moment of truth was at hand.

He rang the buzzer and a moment later her voice came over the tiny speaker. "Jimmy?"

"Hi. Yeah. It's me."

"Okay. Great. Come on up." There was a buzz, followed by the click of the door lock letting go, and he grabbed the handle quickly with his free hand and stepped into the foyer.

A flight of carpet covered stairs and the sound of mellow music led him up to the second floor where an apartment door opened at the sound of his footsteps. "Hi! You found me." Sarah grinned as she showed him in.

"Hi." He stepped into the living room and took a look around.

Well placed lamps added a cozy glow to the last of the evening's light coming in through tall windows covered by gauzy curtains. A low couch kept company with an overstuffed green armchair almost big enough to be called a love seat. Across from the couch, a large television on a stand held court between wavy wire racks full of what he had come to recognize as feature length movies on disc.

The built in bookshelves were stuffed full of books, but also held thin plastic cases of compact discs that went with the nearby stereo system - it still amazed him that something so small could put out such an amazingly rich, lifelike sound. There were plants on stands and also on some of the shelves and there was even a table top sized fountain that gurgled pleasantly as the water trickled over an assortment of rocks and seashells.

Nothing really matched, but somehow the room felt well organized and comfortable in a homey sort of way.

Swallowing in an attempt to bring some moisture to his dry mouth, Jimmy offered up the flowers he had brought. "I brought, uh... these are for you."

"That's so sweet, Jimmy. Thank you." Sarah's fingers brushed his hand as she took the bouquet and he blinked at the rush of heat as their skin made brief contact. "Have a seat while I find something to put them in."

Watching her move into the open kitchen, just as cozy and mismatched as the living room, he became aware for the first time that she was wearing blue jeans and a very pretty but definitely casual maroon top accented by a beaded design. Was he overdressed or had she simply not finished getting ready for their date?

"Did I arrive too early?" he asked, hitching up the legs of his slacks to perch awkwardly on the edge of the couch.

A slightly confused smile creased Sarah's brow as she set the flowers on the low table in front of the couch, then her smile pressed deeper at the realization of his sharp suit, shiny black un-scuffed leather shoes and perfectly knotted tie.

"Not at all. I'm just, um... give me a second to get dressed, okay?" She stepped towards an arched doorway that led to a short hall, pausing to add, "You look great, by the way."

"Thanks." His hand reached to smooth the thick black hair that sprang like a cow-lick from his widow's peak.

He pulled a deep breath as she left him there on the couch, aware of the snug closeness of his vest beneath the jacket, the stiffness of his new shoes and wondered again if he had overdressed for their date.

In his own time, a three piece suit and smartly knotted tie would have been unquestionably the right attire for a dinner date. Looking through the ads in a men's magazine at the Public Library made it look as if a good suit was still the measure of a man, but maybe he'd been turning heads this evening for the wrong reasons.

Suddenly, Jimmy felt hopelessly lost - defeated before the night had even really begun.

But a moment later, the brawler in him took over and rallied. He had not come this far to give up without a fight.

"Did you have any trouble finding me?" Sarah's voice raised to be heard from the bedroom and over the music.

"No, not at all." He watched as a black and white tuxedo cat slunk around the corner, gave him a vaguely interested glance and headed in his direction. Once she arrived before him, she stretched out her front legs and began briskly sharpening her claws on his new shoes. Jim started and began to move to shoo her away when he realized that she had no claws and was merely rubbing her soft toe pads against the leather without leaving so much as a mark.

"Oh, that's Raven." Sarah appeared again. "She's sharpening her non-existent claws. Sorry about that."

Jim grinned at that, then his smile widened as he took in her pretty dress the same classic red as long stemmed roses. The rich fabric hugged her soft curves in all the right places, making him wish that he knew her well enough to take her into his arms and kiss her.

"Wow. You look really swell."

"Thank you, Jimmy." Now her smile was slightly bashful, but her dark eyes sparkled with pleasure at his compliment. "Tonight I finally have somewhere to wear my new shoes." She pointed a toe to show off round toed black leather pumps with a two inch heel.

"Very nice." His smile widened at the thought that tonight they'd both be wearing new shoes. New shoes... new friends... new beginnings. "I'm honored."

"You should be." She giggled and picked up a leather coat hanging off the back of one of the dining table chairs. Before she could even begin to shrug into it, he had jumped up and was standing behind her to help her put it on. "Thank you, Jimmy."

"You're welcome." Standing this close to her, he got a whiff of her perfume. It was light, not too sweet, not too flowery. It was simply lovely - like her. Perfect. "I like your perfume."

"Thank you." She picked up her handbag and led the way to the door, explaining along the way "It's called Inis. It's Irish, actually. I have to special order it."

"I'd say it's worth it." He waited while she locked the door, then followed her downstairs. 

A short walk back to Chestnut Street put them in a position to pick up a taxicab to the waterfront, and Sarah directed the driver to take them to the heart of the tourist area below North Point Road. There Fisherman's Wharf's famous seafood restaurants such as Alioto's, Fisherman's Grotto, Tarantino's and Nick's Lighthouse lined the docks set behind open air food stands boasting walk-away crab cocktail and clam chowder in bread bowls. Even this late in the season the Wharf was crowded and the air was rich with the briny scent of both fresh and fried seafood while a band in military uniforms played drums and marimbas on the green by the intersection with a hat out to catch donations.

Carefully threading their way over perpetually wet pavement through the milling crowds and  fishmongers Sarah led him to an open doorway midway down the row with a smiling host who was all too eager show them inside Mama Nonna's.

Inside, the dark paneled bar was almost as crowded as the sidewalk, but the atmosphere was both welcoming and cozy and the host quickly took their names and promised a table within the next five to ten minutes. Meanwhile they huddled happily in a corner by the window and Jimmy eagerly took in the bustling scene. The faux-Tuscan décor meant tortoise hued lamps sending a warm glow over the yellow glazed walls, allowing the contrasting floor to ceiling windows overlooking the pier to be shown off to their best advantage.

Jimmy wasn't sure if he should have slipped the host a tip to get them one of the better tables, but when they were seated after only a short wait, it proved to have been unnecessary. Their table by the window afforded a view of the fishing boats, though at this hour most of them sat dark.

"This place is one of the best kept secrets on the wharf," Sarah told him as they settled in over warm fresh crusty sourdough rolls slathered with sweet creamy butter. "They have a great crab dinner here." Her eyes glittered excitedly, then she seemed to catch herself with a sigh. "But it's really, really messy."

"So what?" Jim shrugged easily. He was here to have a good time and if that meant getting messy, so be it. Without another thought, he got up and took off his suit jacket and removed his tie for good measure, tucking it into a jacket pocket before sitting down again. "I'm drip-dry, how about you?"

She giggled at that and followed his lead, placing her leather jacket on the empty seat beside her. "Are you going to wear the bib?"

"Sure," he shrugged easily, his blue eyes flashing with boyish fire. "I'm game if you are."

They ordered, and over a bottle of crisp white wine and bowls of deliciously rich clam chowder chased with more of the rolls, they began to get better acquainted.

"So, Mr. Ryan... what brought you out here?"

"Honestly?" His eyes turned a bit sad and faraway. "I needed a new start. So I set out and kept going until I hit the ocean and had to stop. I'd always enjoyed visiting 'Frisco -"

She tried not to wince at his use of the outdated nickname for the city as he went on.

"I never thought I'd end up living here, though. A lot has changed over the years, but I do like it." His smile turned meaningful, his tone earnest. "Especially since I've started making new friends."

Sarah understood the sentiment in his tone and couldn't help smiling as she lifted her wine glass in salute. "To new friends."

He touched his glass lightly to hers, acknowledging her toast. "New friends," he concurred 

before sipping through his smile.

The dinner of steamed cracked crab proved to be just as delicious and every bit as messy as promised. Jimmy didn't mind. Rolling up his sleeves to dip the succulent meat in drawn butter made him feel carefree in a way he hadn't experienced in months. And watching Sarah demurely licking butter from her fingers gave him a heated thrill that left him subtly shifting in his seat.

He finished his own meal before she was done and removed the plastic bib emblazoned with the picture of a feisty looking lobster, but left his napkin folded across his lap.

Seeking distraction, he glanced out the window at the tethered boats, squinting a little to make out their names through the darkness. There was the "Betty Sloop" and the "Fishonista" and then his lips twisted in momentary irony as he noticed that one of them was called "Mae" the simple name lettered in black and gold scroll easy to read even at a distance.

Then a new reflection cast on the glass and he turned to accept a finger bowl of warm lemon water and a fresh hot towel from the waiter.

As he wiped his fingers, he noticed that Sarah had nearly finished and was looking at him with a quizzical tilt of the head.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah." He nodded, bringing a smile to his lips. 

Mae was gone. He still missed her terribly everyday. But mourning her had left him half a man, and that was no way to live. Mae herself would have told him that, and he would have been wise to listen. After all, his wife had been both smart and headstrong, the perfect complement to a shy but stubborn man like himself.

Sarah was smart and with her generous heart and independent ways, she shared a lot of Mae's best qualities. She was also a beautiful girl and he was genuinely interested in her, both as a person and romantically. To Jim's amazement, she seemed interested in him in return. And so, chiding himself not to screw up this date with thoughts of the past, he brought the conversation around to the safest subject he could find, which was also the one that interested him the most: Sarah.

"What about you? How did you end up here in Frisco?" 

"Well, let's see..." she paused to think as she broke the last roll in half and began buttering both parts. "I told you that my Mom is a microbiologist back east, right?" He nodded. "And my Dad works for the government." Jimmy took the half roll she offered him and nodded again. "Well, basically, I came up here because SFU has an excellent teaching hospital. Well, that and - "her lips twisted then pressed flat. "I guess, like you, I needed a change of scenery."

Jimmy waited for her to go on. He sensed that she was about to reveal something essential about herself. He watched as she made the sign of the cross over her plate before pushing it away, quietly waiting as he gave her a moment to collect her thoughts.

Sarah took a sip of wine for fortitude, then set her chin as though bracing herself to go on. "Have you ever been married, Jimmy?"

He almost choked at the directness of her question. "Wait a minute. We were talking about you," he pointed out.

She nodded and when she spoke again, her tone was so carefully controlled that it came across almost as flat. "Three years ago, when I lived in San Diego, I was engaged to a man named Eric." She paused to thank the waiter as he cleared her plate and replaced it with a fresh finger bowl and towel for her. "A week before our wedding, I went to his house to pick him up for church and found him in bed with his ex-girlfriend."

Jimmy blew a low whistle and shook his head. "What a heel."

"That's putting it nicely. I called him much, much worse names than that." She chuckled bitterly at the memory. "And then I basically threw him down the stairs."

Even caught up in the retelling of her story, Sarah couldn't help noticing that Jim's normally blue eyes had turned a cold steel gray and his jaw was clenched in anger.

"Needless to say," she went on, "the wedding was canceled and I ended up moving back in with my folks while I put myself together again." With the worst of the story behind her, she shrugged and her tone lightened. "When I was ready, I came out here, went back to school and became a nurse. I found a great apartment, a good job, made friends..." She noticed his hand, clenched into a fist on the table by his fork and patted it gently. "So really, in the end, I found a happy ending."

"I've never understood how a man can cheat." Jimmy shook his head. "It goes against everything that I believe in, everything that I feel is important."

Still a bit angry he seemed to forget himself, and his words flowed faster and more freely than she had ever heard him speak before. "I had plenty of opportunities, women tried so many times to turn my head, to make me forget what I knew to be right. People say it's tough on the road, and that's true. It's hard to be away from your family - from the people you love. But I never, never once was even tempted." He shook his head and repeated for emphasis: "I never once was tempted. Because love is stronger than just about anything, and if you have that, you hold onto it, and you never let it go."

She was floored by his outburst, impressed by the depth of his conviction and the strength of his belief in love. But she saw something besides moral outrage in his eyes which had changed again and were now a deep and stormy blue. She saw the pain of a man who had loved and lost and was still working to come to terms with the loss.

Sarah was no stranger to the sight of strong men caught up in vulnerable moments. She saw men in terrible pain and distress every day, but this was different. This man wasn't a patient, he was someone she was very quickly coming to care about, and seeing his feelings so raw and unprotected made her feel protective of him.

"You lost someone."

"Yeah," he nodded, long lashes working to blink back the sting in his eyes. "I'm sorry... didn't mean to get so worked up..." His bow lips pressed flat and he swallowed hard, angry at himself for getting caught up again.

"It's okay." Her tone was gentle as her fingers reached out unselfconsciously and rubbed his big hand, pulling at his thick fingers until they un-fisted and his hand relaxed.

Jimmy sighed then his brow lifted over a wry smile. "Sorry. I've got a temper."

"Uh oh," Sarah chuckled. "So do I." Her smile widened across her full, pretty lips and sparkled mischievously in her eyes. "We might be in trouble here, Mr. Ryan. Two hard heads with Irish tempers? I see a bad moon a-risin'." Her grin deepened to produce dimples as she quoted the Creedence Clearwater Revival song.

"Yeah?" Confusion colored his smile. The reference meant nothing to him.

"You know - that old song?" His lost smile remained as he shrugged his ignorance and Sarah waved it off. "Nevermind," she chuckled, then used the topic to springboard to safer territory. "So, okay, you don't listen to CCR. What kind of music do you like?"

"Honestly?" His brows raised over the shy grin that had once more taken up residence in Jim's ever-changing but expressive eyes. "I don't listen to much of the popular music they're playing on the radio these days."

"No?" Now Sarah was intrigued.

"No." His fingers plucked absently at the tablecloth. "I like what I guess you'd call ... the classics." He shrugged without looking at her. "Big Band and Swing... stuff like that. Probably nothing you've ever heard of."

"Are you kidding me?" Her eyes sparkled as an excited grin stole across her face. "I love swing! My friends and I used to go swing dancing back in San Diego. "

"Yeah?" Her enthusiasm was contagious and Jimmy found himself quickly caught up in it. "You know, I like some of the newer singers, too. That Sinatra guy, Satchmo..." He began counting them off on his fingers. "...Ella Fitzgerald, Dean Martin ain't half bad. Oh! And I heard this guy on the radio last night - Chet Baker - have you heard of him?"

"Yeah," Sarah grinned, liking the lively way Jimmy's eyes danced when he was happy. "I have a few of his CDs. I should lend them to you."

"Oh, I don't have a player," he shrugged, aware that her offer held the possibility of future dates. "I mostly listen to the radio."

"Well, you'll have to come over sometime, then." She let the gentle invitation float his way, nothing too pushy, but a clear signal that she was enjoying her time with him and would look forward to a future date.

"I'd like that," he agreed, fighting back a slight blush. "Would you like to order some dessert?"

"Oh, God, no." She laughed. "I'm so full."

Despite the fact that they had spent several hours in the restaurant and it was getting late, Jimmy didn't want the evening, or their date, to end. "Is it too cold for a stroll?"

"Not if you promise to put your arm around me."

"You've got yourself a deal there," he agreed, his smile sending dimples deep into his cheeks.

When the check came, he paid for their meal in cash, peeling bills from a money clip fetched from deep in his pocket. Sarah was surprised and wondered if he didn't worry about being mugged carrying so much cash, but as quirks went, it wasn't all that strange. By the time he charmed her all over again by helping her on with her coat, she'd forgotten about it.

When they got outside, the breeze had moved in off the ocean and the night had grown chilly. The band in the square was gone and the combination of the late hour and the cold night air had thinned out the tourists. Souvenir shops selling cheap fleece jackets emblazoned with the city's name were doing brisk business while the fish mongers made their final sales and washed the briny ice from their display counters down the sidewalk with thick black hoses.

"Brrrr," Sarah shivered pointedly, snuggling down into her coat as the wind licked at her bare legs.  With a self-conscious grin, Jimmy slipped his arm around the girl's shoulders as promised, and they began to walk in the direction of the beach below Ghiradelli Square. "Aren't you cold?" she asked, noting his lack of a top coat.

"No, not at all," he lied, resisting the urge to turn up the collar of his suit jacket. As long as the cool breeze didn't push its way inside his vest, he was okay. Besides, a handful of Depression winters had toughened him to the sting of the cold. The cool night breeze was nothing in comparison.

They chatted a little more as they walked, finding that despite their differences, they had quite a bit in common. Both missed the East Coast's fiery autumn colors but not the winter cold. Both had been raised by strong-willed mothers to work hard but laugh often. Neither of them liked coconut.

There were differences, too. Jimmy came from a big family - five boys and two girls - whereas Sarah had only a younger brother, Timothy. She loved music, and while he enjoyed a good tune, he'd never heard of any of her favorite bands. She was a hockey fan, while he admitted to enjoying boxing, which led to a friendly argument as to which was the more brutal of the two sports.

He was shocked to the core to hear that she had once played in an indoor civil servant's league back in San Diego - he couldn't imagine a woman participating in such a rough and manly sport. For the time being Jim didn't admit to more than spending some time in the ring as a kid - though she surely wouldn't have heard of Jim Braddock - he was still wary of raising suspicions.

"You're lucky you didn't get your teeth knocked out," he chuckled, slowing as they neared O'Shea's.

"So are you," she shot back, then giggled in shock as he reached up and popped out the tooth beside an incisor, revealing an empty space. With a wink, he replaced his false tooth, wiggled it firmly back into place and gave her a wide grin as if to prove that his smile was whole again.

He paused then, her hand in his, stopping on the sidewalk a few feet shy of the pub's well lit doorway. He was enjoying himself with her so much that he found himself in no hurry to share her with anyone else tonight. "Did you want to...?"

Sarah considered a moment, then squeezed his big hand and shook her head. "Not tonight."

He wondered if the same magic that was working on him had a hold on her, too. "Okay," he nodded and began to look for a cab.

"Jimmy, we can take the bus," she tried to dissuade him from the expense, but he shook his head and used two fingers to whistle up a cab making a drop off down the street.

"Not tonight we can't." He shook his head. "Tonight's First Class all the way."

There was something in his tone that told her there was no use in arguing, but really, she didn't much want to. There was something really wonderful about being alone with him in the back of the car, their bodies touching as if secretly in the dark.

It wasn't a long ride to her neighborhood, and Sarah wondered if Jim planned on coming up tonight as she watched him pay the cab driver. Unlike some of her more recent dates, he wasn't acting like taking her out entitled him to anything. And though she had a long-standing rule not to go to bed with a man on the first date, she was incredibly tempted to waive that principle tonight with Jimmy.

"Would you like to come up for a while?" she braved temptation with the offer, the decision already made in her heart and fluttering like a trapped butterfly somewhere between her belly and her loins.

He thought on that a moment, glancing up at her lighted window where Raven's silhouette watched them from above. He smiled at her offer, but shook his head. "I'd better not."

Sarah pulled a breath and smiled back, hiding her disappointment. Had she read him wrong? Did he not like her as much as she'd thought? Her heart began to sink in a sea of insecurity and worries, but Jimmy quickly came to her rescue.

"Can I call you to go out again sometime?" he asked. 

"I'd like that," she agreed, finding herself unable to hide a fresh smile. 

"I really enjoyed tonight." His deep voice softened as he took a step closer.

"Me too." Suddenly shy as the moment unfolded, Sarah couldn't meet his eyes but a thrill passed though her as his arm slipped around her waist and their bodies pressed together lightly. Now she could tell that he wanted her, too, but his old-fashioned charm was no façade. As much as he might want her, he wouldn't act on it tonight.

Still, the warm tingling was rekindled as he kissed her - not too eager, not too pushy or demanding - but just deep enough to give her a taste of his desire for her. It was a perfect kiss, warm and sweet and it left her wanting more even as he let her go and stepped back with a tender smile.

"Goodnight, Sarah."

"Goodnight, Jimmy."

"I'll wait and see that you get in safely." He nodded towards the door.

"Thanks for tonight." She fished her keys from her small purse and took a reluctant step away. "Talk to you soon?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "Real soon."

"G'night, then." She unlocked the door and turned to wave.

"Sweet dreams." He smiled, finally giving in to turn up the collar of his suit jacket before crossing his arms across his chest, a gesture that made it clear he would wait stubbornly out in the cold until he knew that she was safely back in her apartment.

"You don't have to stand there and wait," she chuckled shooing him off with a gentle wave of the hand. "I'm fine."

"Okay." He grinned in agreement and planted his feet in a comfortable stance.

Sarah shook her head with a grin. "Okay, then. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Sarah." He waved his fingers and made no effort to budge from the sidewalk in front of her apartment.

As much as she hated for the date to end, Sarah couldn't very well leave him standing out there forever, so she finally let herself in and hurried up the stairs to her apartment. Raven chirped at her expectantly and she picked up the cat, which snuggled happily against her neck, purring and drooling on her ear as the girl looked outside to find Jimmy still waiting by the curb, watching her window.

He grinned as she waved, then waved back before moving off, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his slacks, whistling a tune from a bygone era beneath his breath.