"Can't I come?"

"No."

"Why not? Stephen can't scuba either. I could just swim about the boat and snorkel."

"No. You'd start farting about. I know you. This is a scientific trip not 'Playtime with the Boys'. Stay here and be good. You need the rest- you've been like a spinning top since you boarded."

I hate him in that mood when he talks to me as if I were five years' old. His 'Do what Daddy says and be a good girl' voice. Everyone else was off to the fabulous beaches on Virgin Gorda - all the number ones together, with picnics and sex on their minds. My boring old fart of a man was going off playing Boy Scouts with Dino and Stephen. Jack had OK'd them taking a launch out into deeper waters where Terry and Dino could dive for marine specimens that Stephen desired to study. It was a perfect opportunity for big boys to play. They never lose that desire they had when they were kids to fill their pockets with worms and grass snakes and spiders, do they?

Everyone was so kind and offered to let me join them for the day but - like I really wanted to play gooseberry? Jack insisted I accompany Ann and him while Ann stood behind his back frantically mouthing "Do not fucking dare say YES!" Charming.

After that I just made it clear to everyone that I was quite happy catching some sun on the deck and finishing a novel. I put on my martyr face and Terry seemed a little sorry, coming up and saying: "If you really want me to, I'll cry off and let Dino and Stephen go alone- but it is safer for two to dive..."

"No, that would be unforgivable of me, sweetie. You go and have some fun with the boys. You can make it up to me tonight. I want all your attention and a very early night. You got that?"

Terry saluted. "Yes, ma'am. One night of debauchery coming up. I'll be thinking of it all day. Ramp it up a bit, hey?" I smiled and gave him a roll of my eyes; he grinned and climbed over the side, his gear over his shoulder. I watched him go, already feeling horny. He looks so great in his scuba outfit...

TWO HOURS LATER

Jeff threw himself down in a lounger next to me and pulled off his vest. "Bugger me - it's hot enough to warm up a nun's knickers out there. Rub some cream on my back, Uma."

I sat up and poured some cream on him. He lay there flaked out, moaning with pleasure as I massaged it in, doing the usual fake orgasm bit.  I giggled and said. "Turn over, sir. You want hand relief? Only fifty bucks extra."

He snorted. "Fifty bucks? I can wank myself for free." I pulled down the back of his shorts and smacked his bum, noticing that he didn't really have a tan line, only faintly.

"Hmm, nice...you and Paul being finding some secluded beaches? You've no tan line."

"What do you think? Like you and Terry haven't been getting sand up your cracks?" he teased.

"Well, not today. Everyone is getting some and I'm stuck here on my own..." I whined.

"Stop shriking- you sound like a right old misery. You get plenty. It's a wonder you haven't broken your bunk, you two. Night after night, morning after morning....'Oh Terry ...Oh Terry, harder....more....oh God.... you are the best...'"  He rolled around on his back on the sun lounger acting out the scene, talking in what he considered was my accent. Then he turned on his front, supported himself on his arms and carried on... 'Come on, baby...give it to me....Jesus, you are so wet...oh fuck....baby...Christ Almighty..." in a slightly more accurate rendition of Terry.

I threw the sun cream at him. "We do not sound like that! You make us sound like some cheap porno film. Actually I am very quiet when I am making love."

"I know..." Jeff observed and looked at me, suddenly serious. I blushed a little, uncomfortable for a moment.

"Well, that was before - when you still did girls," I retorted, a little sharply.

"I still 'do' girls. I haven't lost my taste for you Sisters, you know. Just not been much chance until this cruise." Jeff lay back and stared at the sky.

"Have you...been with anyone else since you came aboard?" I enquired curiously.

"Might have," he replied secretively.

I blew a raspberry. "Be like that. Bet you haven't." I pouted.

"Bet I have," Jeff smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Who then?"

"None of your business," he replied.

I sniffed and lay back, too, feigning lack of interest.

"Where was Paul when this was going on? Where is he now?" I suddenly realized that, for the first time, the two of them were not in close proximity.

"He's down below. Wanted a shower and a lie down. I wanted to talk to you."

"You didn't answer my other question."

Jeff cleared his throat. "If you must know he wasn't there. So stop letting your dirty little mind work overtime. Paul would never agree to a stunt like that. He's never had a girl."

"Never? Not even tried it out? Really?" I was amazed; he looks so macho; girls must throw themselves at him.

"He's quite shy, ya know, and never really fancied girls. Took him a long time with blokes actually. He was a virgin until he was nineteen - which is quite old for a poofta. I mean, boys often fool around when they're young and horny and girls won't give them any...lots of guys have had some gay episodes but they won't admit it."

I was fascinated. "Do you reckon? I know Max has 'cos he told me - and it was different in those days- almost expected. Bet Terry hasn't."

"He go to an all- boys' school?"

"Yeah- when he got sacked from his co-ed grammar school for perving girls. His Mum sent him to a boy's Catholic college."

Jeff laughed. "Bound to have had a feel then - or one of those priests would have grabbed his nadgers. It's probably on the curriculum at those places.  'And now you will all get on your knees and suck one of the brother's dicks. It is good for the soul and your general well being. Good cure for acne, too.'" I howled with laughter.

"Not our macho man, Tez...he'd have ripped anyone's balls off who had a go at him. You know what he's like."

Jeff shrugged. "You'd be surprised, love, and he'd never tell you."

I contemplated that for a while. There were a lot of things about men I guess I didn't know. Time for a bit of research.

"Wouldn't Paul want to know what it felt like? With a woman, I mean?"

"Dunno. Don't really talk about it," he replied, appearing to be dozing off.

"Doesn't he ask you about us? Isn't he curious about what you've done with us and how you feel about it?"

Jeff rolled on his side and rested on one arm. "Uma, no! Do not go there. He is not interested and nor am I. When I'm with a girl, I'm with a girl. When I'm with a bloke, I'm with a bloke. I don't go in for group sex- I'm more of a relationship kind of person. You got that?"

I shrugged. "I was only saying...anyway, I'm not like that either. I don't go round having orgies. That's not what I meant. I just thought it was likely it had come up because of the way we live."

Jeff sat up and looked at me thoughtfully. "I'm not ashamed to be gay any more than I am ashamed to live this lifestyle. But I'm a private man and I'm not sure I could handle being with a man in the presence of a woman. I don't really want to say any more, Uma. OK?"

I nodded. "But that doesn't really answer my question. Maybe I should ask Paul directly?"

Throwing himself down on the sun bed, Jeff groaned. "You are fucking impossible! Do you ever let go of anything? All right. We've talked. Of course he's fucking curious - but he would never go for it. He's too shy and he thinks the others resent him a little, anyway. Plus he knows that the Brothers would have something to say if he fooled around with one of their women. He knows the rules. And Uma, Terry would kill you both. You have just got your life back where you want it with him, do not start anything that will come between you!"

"I wasn't thinking of having sex with Paul, actually. I thought he might want to see you having sex with a woman. I don't think that breaks the rules and, let's face it, Jeff, you know and I know that we both will be having sex together before the others get back today, won't we? So he gets to watch? Is that such a big deal?"

I think I was talking myself into this. I'm like that. People think I get a lot of great ideas but actually I don't. I just think of something crazy and then talk myself into it. The more I talk, the more plausible I sound but it is completely random and off the top of my head. This was such a moment. It is unlikely that I had even thought of the possible consequences, let alone considered them. I was just postulating an argument to what Jeff was saying and purposely taking the opposite line. It's a method of disputation in logic training but putting it into use in real life situations is probably a bit dangerous. All the more reason to do it, surely?

He had gone quiet for a while and if I hadn't been thinking myself I might have been aware what was about to happen. When he said it, I was completely taken aback and also a little backed into a corner.

"OK. Let's do it. He's in our bedroom. Let's go into our lounge and leave the door ajar. See what happens."

I sat on the edge of the lounger and stared at Jeff; his expression was darker than usual, his eyes hooded and his breath slightly fast. I had played a game and it wasn't fair to back down when he had exposed himself this much. Had I stumbled onto one of his secret fantasies? It was obvious when you think about it. The man he loved and one of the women he loves - he would be able to trust me, and Paul knew me better than the others. We were 'the Brits' and I liked him anyway. Had Jeff wanted this himself and been too afraid to ask? It was possible - I should have seen it coming. Maybe he had joined me here today for that very reason and manoeuvred the conversation; it was rare for Paul and him to be apart and if he had merely wanted to sunbathe why hadn't they both joined me? Or was I paranoid? Or was I backtracking?

I heard myself say: "OK." Can you honestly see me backing down from a challenge?

Jeff stood up and watched while I slipped on a blouse and walked to the stairs. As I bent my head to climb down, he pulled me to him and held me from the back. His lips found my ear and he whispered: "Don't ever let the Brothers know. They wouldn't understand. I don't want you to get hurt again. Promise me. If you write this, you won't let any of them read it."

I leant back against him, grateful for the warmth and strength of his arms. "I won't. I promise. Let's go down."

It was cooler once we had left the brilliant sunlight of the deck. The corridors were shady and dark after the bright glare of the sea and sun; I felt almost blind when I entered the lower level. Jeff walked by my side, his arm around me now that we were out of sight of the crew and any other prying eyes. He was nuzzling my hair and whispering sweet things.

Inside his cabin, the blinds drawn and the air conditioner humming, it was very quiet. If Paul was in the inner room then he was asleep, I was sure. Jeff indicated the couch and I sat down while he fetched me a cold drink and one for himself. For a while we sat there awkwardly next to each other, neither really knowing what to say.

I began to babble about something, as I do when I am embarrassed; it gave him the courage to act. Taking the can from my grip, he set both mine and his down on a side table and leaned towards me, capturing my head in his hands and holding me firm while he kissed me. He has a wonderful kiss- it always surprises me. He is gentle and searching, a little unsure, but skilful all the same. He kisses as he wishes to be kissed. I returned his compliment with an equally shy but experienced response. We were adults and this was dangerous sex play; we were both taking risks and putting ourselves out there.

Neither of us was wearing much; he just had on a pair of swim shorts and I had a tiny bikini with a shirt over it. As we kissed he eased the shirt from my shoulders and I felt his hands gentle on my arms but I was held firm. He was taking over and from now on in there was no way out of this even had I wanted it. No, that's not true- Jeff would never force anything if I changed my mind but it was clear what he wanted and I should not have come this far not to go through with it.

"Stand up!" His voice was husky, not like him, a different Jeff. I got to my feet and stood before him; he looked up at me and then asked me to turn round. I did, slowly, teasing him and then I stopped dead. Paul was at the door of his bedroom, wearing a small white towel and watching, his hand on the wooden doorframe. He seemed to tower in the space and I shivered as Jeff flicked the fastener of my bikini and let it fall. I pulled back my shoulders more from a desire not to reveal my squirming embarrassment than anything, but also to give myself confidence.

Paul stared, his face fairly expressionless but I could see the telltale movement beneath the towel. I wondered if Jeff and he were looking at each other. I felt Jeff's hands cup my naked breasts and his lips against the skin of my spine, kissing a trail down to my butt. Then his hands slipped into the tiny rings that held the side of my bikini panties. He pulled them slowly down, inch by inch and I saw Paul's eyes flare, just like any man's would, as my nakedness was uncovered.

"You're beautiful," Paul muttered, "So slender and delicate. Like a pot doll." The expression amused me, made me smile. It's a Lancashire phrase and often used to describe little girls who have the milk white prettiness of Victorian porcelain dolls.

"And you are quite, quite perfect," I whispered. He looked down at himself, blushed and then leaned away from the door to sit on a chair facing us. The towel barely reached his knees and he sat, as men invariably do, with his legs apart. I stared at him quite openly. His legs were long and muscular, thickly haired, and I could see the heavy droop of his testicles darkly shaded with black hair and the bulge of his semi-erect cock at the juncture of his thighs.

"May I watch?" he asked, almost formal politeness, ludicrous at that moment. I nodded my consent.

Jeff spun me round and then kissed me again and I tried to block the image of the other man from my mind - but it was hard. It aroused me to think that every thing that we would do would be observed and I wondered if it would end there. He was already turned on - what would the act do to him?

Jeff sank to his knees and his lips found a nipple, licking then kissing, soon biting and pulling in his teeth, his other hand mauling my unattended breast. I bent over to hold his head and kiss his hair, running my bare foot over his groin and moaning at his hardness. I found the waistband of his shorts and inserted my foot, to work them off; he broke away to push them down and bare himself for me.

Backing away, I pulled him to his feet while he stepped out of the shorts and we stood facing each other just running our hands over each other's face and shoulders, down our chests and then smiling. I suddenly wasn't afraid. Jeff swung me up and carried me to the bedroom . As he passed, Paul stood up and they looked at each other; Jeff tilted his face and they kissed; I stroked both their heads and watched them. It was erotic beyond words to see two strong men in love and be a part of their lovemaking.

"Paul, there is one thing you must understand. This is for you and Jeff and it is not between you and me. Watch, respond, take part, whatever you feel comfortable with but I will not allow you intimacy with me. Do you understand that? I have made a promise and I will not break it for anyone. Ever."

He nodded. Jeff smiled. "We wouldn't ask it of you. You know that." It was decided and we went into the bedroom, closing the door behind us.

He placed me down on the pillow and lay next to me while Paul lay on the other side, stroking my hair. Jeff kissed me deeply, whispered in my ear, "Thank you," and began to love my body as if I were some precious object for worship. I watched him as he lapped at my breasts and smoothed his hands down my body, parting my legs and stroking my hair gently until he felt me relax and flow. Then his finger eased along my sex, gathering wetness and smearing it over me as I began to writhe under his attentions.

He pushed me back and widened my legs until my knees were bent and I lay there exposed before the gaze of two men. I looked from one to the other, saw the intense expression in their eyes, felt powerful to be able to wield such a weapon as this over men. Jeff whimpered and lowered his head to taste me, his tongue so delicate and sensitive to my needs. I closed my eyes and gave into the sensation, that unique feeling of intimacy and pleasure that only this secret kiss can bring.

Moaning now, rising and falling as he held my ankles and burrowed deep within me, my eyes flickered open and I saw Paul, still transfixed but now sitting, the towel gone, his hand trailing down Jeff's back and fondling him as he jerked himself. His cock was beautiful, longer but more slender than Jeff's, his skin darker and his groin luxuriant in curly black hair. The sight of this stunning young man, almost innocently displayed before me, and his need to make contact with his lover brought such a surge of wild eroticism to me that I hit my orgasm in an instant, almost too fast, before I was even ready for it and I heard myself shriek out a howl; it sounded to my ears like an animal in pain.

Jeff rolled away and joined me on the pillow, holding me, talking to me, hushing me as I moaned and garbled almost insensible, sensation still shearing through me, aftershocks shuddering in waves as I tried to swim to the surface and find myself again. I called out "Jeff!"

He replied: "I'm here. You're safe. Just come, darlin' just come..."

I was aware that Paul was no longer by my side. Turning my head, I saw that he was lying behind Jeff, kissing his neck, whispering, his hands around him, now fondling Jeff's cock and clearly rubbing himself against his buttocks. I watched for a moment and then bent down and kissed Jeff's hardness, allowing Paul to feed Jeff's cock into my mouth and jerking it for me. I could hear Jeff moaning and cursing imaginatively as he lay caught between us.

Looking up, I saw that the two men were kissing and that Jeff's hands were reaching round his own back to tend to Paul. I felt abandoned, wild, aware that this was an experience way beyond my ken, something I would probably never know again. In silence, attending to Jeff's needs, I left them alone to savour each other privately.

All at once, Jeff grunted and pulled away; he was near and didn't want to come. With Paul's hands still touching his balls, through his legs, he pushed me back and turned to kiss me, opening me up and thrusting into me, his desire for release evident in the urgency of the movement. I let him pound a few times and then I stopped him.

"Slow, not yet...wait...he cannot see. Let's change." I felt a swing of the pendulum, a surge of empowerment, my orgasm strengthening me. Jeff raised himself, knelt up as I turned onto all fours and presented myself to him. I heard Paul mutter "Jesus Christ" as Jeff mounted me and we began to thrust - he forwards, me backwards and Paul slumped onto the floor mesmerized, watching Jeff pull out and then re-enter, his hands dragging on my hips.

Suddenly I felt a hand touch my breast, run down my belly- it could not be Jeff, but by then I was in a far off place, unsure whether this was sensation or imagination as my cunt was filled and filled and filled. The touch of a hand slick in my wetness, the stimulation to my clitoris and I juddered back to reality. Paul's hands, one on me, and one cradling Jeff's balls as they swung against me.

"Oh Christ!" I screamed.

"Fucking hell!" Jeff grunted and in a cry echoed by both of us on different scales we came thunderously, sweating and gasping for breath. I fell to the bed, Jeff slumped to my side and we lay there. Moments passed when I felt nothing but a dreamlike lassitude until then I was aware that Paul had joined us, lying next to me, holding me in a gentle way, Jeff watching, a goofy smile on his face, like he always gets when he has come.

"Uma...are you alright?" It was Paul. "He seemed dead rough. I thought he might break you."

I smiled, eyes heavy with pleasure, but my mind beginning to respond. "Of course not! I am not a pot doll! Women were made for this. We're tougher than we look." But his care was endearing and any lingering doubts I had felt were fast disappearing.

I moved away from Jeff and indicated to Paul to lie between us. "You've been very patient. It's your turn now," I whispered.

Jeff grinned and reached for Paul, rolled over him and kissed him roughly. It reminded me of how lion cubs snarl and play. There was maleness in their affection, so different from how they had touched me - the wonderment had gone. They knew each other's bodies as they knew their own. They were men, with different sensibilities. It was compelling and joyful to watch, somewhere between the knockabout fighting that men do with their friends and a lovemaking that was harder-edged than you would expect with a woman.

Paul pushed Jeff down to his cock; Jeff gave him head. I watched as his strong young face, darkened by late afternoon stubble, that face that I had watched love my sex so tenderly, lavished affection on his lover's dick. I could see the way men touch themselves, that comfortable ease that a woman never has (no matter how proficient) and how his own desires made Jeff's ability to tend to another man's body so much more satisfying.

You know me, I am curious, and I watch and learn quickly. I imagined myself in Jeff's position and tried to remember how he used his tongue, where the pressure seemed most rewarding, noticing how much attention he paid to the sensitive ridge beneath the head of his cock and how he massaged Paul's balls and the gland beneath. I couldn't help but think about Terry and had this flash of an image of seeing Paul doing this to him. Not in this life, I know, but a powerful fantasy for me- although one I don't know if I will ever share with him. But you never know.

Jeff is still young enough to recover quickly - certainly when he has this level of stimulation - and I realized that he was growing hard again. I helped him, reaching round and jerking him as he sucked deeper and faster on Paul who was groaning and muttering now, legs sprawled out wide and thrusting towards Jeff.

I slipped down and wriggled under Jeff's parted legs, he raised his butt to aid me and I practiced my newly-learnt lessons on him. Paul couldn't take anymore and he roared once, Jeff jerked, and then must have been struggling to catch the flow as Paul came and came into his mouth. I felt Jeff's hand pull his dick from my lips and realized that I was pushing him too far as well. So, I backed away, slipped off the bed and sat on the chair as they turned to each other. I held my breath, unsure if they would do it before me, but when Jeff's hand reached out towards a tube of cream lying on the bedside table, I knew they were prepared to.

Dashing forward, squeezing some in my hand, I smoothed it on Jeff's cock. He looked back at me, almost in slow motion- his eyes seeming distant, as if he hardly recognised me, and then he raised my hand and kissed my fingers.

Paul rolled over and I watched as Jeff touched him, gently now, the roughness gone as he parted his buttocks and rubbed oil on his fingers. Slowly he eased one in and then another as tenderly as he would have done to my cunt. Paul let out a deep sigh and then Jeff rubbed his cock up and down his crack until Paul relaxed and then he began to circle around his hole, withdrawing his fingers and widening him before easing himself in.

They both gasped together as Jeff pushed down and went further and further in. He rested, allowed time for Paul to adjust- just like any sensitive man would do with a woman. I thought about what I was watching and it seemed so natural, so completely understandable and normal. In no whit was it different from how a man and a woman make love. What is sexuality? It seems meaningless. We are human - we love - our bodies and our minds are all that we have to express the depth of emotion and desire.

The Greeks believed that the way to worship the gods best was to do and make beautiful things, the finest being to perfect humanity to its utmost degree in humble imitation of the glory of divinity. Their gods did not regard the coupling of humans as a foul and dirty secret that must be only allowed for the purpose of breeding as our later faiths have avowed. Children were important - the desire of every man and woman to seek immortality through one's offspring- but they also saw the beauty of the physical body as an achievement in itself and the way we use it to love as an act of worship. Athletes would train to high levels of strength and fitness, disporting their naked, oiled bodies before audiences who reveled in the sight of human beauty displayed. Men took beautiful mistresses, made love to and instructed young boys and bonded physically as well as spiritually with their friends.

OK, I am fully aware that women had a bad deal- this I know- but time and attitudes were different. We cannot judge with a modern morality. But now, in these enlightened days we should be open to all - to rejoice in the beauty of our nakedness, to worship the gifts of the body as well as the mind, and pay no heed to man-made limitations that say one sex with another is the only human law. The only laws that should be set in stone are that we should love and respect, that we should never abuse or corrupt innocence and that equality between lovers, honesty and truth are the important watchwords.

I saw these two young men, modern day Greek lovers, pour themselves into their shared act of love until both were satiated, weak and even tearful in each other's arms. It was a moving and exquisite moment- I felt privileged to have been allowed it. There were tears in my eyes, too, and I thought only of love - how glorious it is!

Then I recognized one difference of the sexes. Both Jeff and Paul drifted immediately off to sleep, wrapped together in each other's arms - where a woman would probably have demanded talk and her man grudgingly agreed. I smiled, returning to the bed as they dozed, wormed my way between them, kissed their lips softly one by one and received a dreamy response. Then I tiptoed out and dressed. A quick shower, a change of clothes and I was on deck for an early cocktail, dressed in a long white linen dress, with a demure ring of coral chips around my neck and wrists, lightly made up, a touch of pale coral on my lips, barefoot.

Reclining on a cane lounger, sipping on a margarita, I watched the boats return with the day's wanderers, all tired, sun burnt and happy.

"Look at you, all prim and pretty! You look so cool - look at us!" Bud laughed down at me as he walked past. Bud crouched down. "Hey, sorry you had such a quiet day. You been readin'?" He picked up the book that was lying next to me and pulled a face. "Make it up to you later. Give me a dance- a real slow one. Maybe you can explain to me what you've been learning this afternoon," he joked.

I grinned. "You bet, Bud. I am going to try my new knowledge out on you one of these days. But tonight - a dance is just the ticket. I'll put you down on my card for later. Now get all prettied up for me, tough guy!"

Bud winked and straightened up. Good Lord, I'd have the Budster leap six inches in the air when I get round to trying a bit of my new technique on him!

"Uma- you OK?" Ann came and sat down by me. "I felt really guilty after we left. I mean, I know how it feels- Jack was leaving me high and dry at the beginning of the cruise himself. We should have included you."

"I'm fine. I had a pleasant change today. Something I haven't done," I chose my words carefully. Jack came and joined us.

"My dear, I am such a scrub to have left you behind. Tonight I shall make it up to you. You are the main attraction and will sit by my right hand - I intend to make a fuss of you. And how delightful you look, all in white, so demure. You suit this style, my dear. You suit any style." He kissed my hand.

"Why, thank you, Jack, you are quite the gentleman. I shall be delighted - but I insist on at least one dance!"

"'pon my soul, I would hear of nothing less! Until later, then...your servant. Ma'am." I beamed. Jack beamed. Ann beamed. God, I am such a fraud. But I love it!

I am so wicked. Luckily here comes Cort for some absolution from my sins!

"Had a good day, Cort- sing any songs, did you?" We both laughed. 

"Why no, Uma, honey, I'm saving Love me Tender for you in future..." You have a quiet afternoon? I'll see you later. I owe you a dance. You know I love to dance with you..." Cort said, in his sexy drawl.

"My card's quite full already but I'll squeeze you in. You don't mind a tight fit, do you, padre?" He groaned and shook his head at my innuendo before running down to his cabin.

"Oi, little Miss-no-mates. What did you do- jump Killick's bones all afternoon?" Hando shouted from the other side of the deck.

"Well, he's before you in the queue anyway, nobhead," I slung back. Hando laughed and gave me his 'You can run but you can't hide look' and chased Tina down the stairs to their cabin.

I rested back and closed my eyes, feeling amazingly boneless myself, aided by the rather strong Margarita I had just downed.

"Hiya, gorgeous. What's tonight's fantasy? Virgin bride?"

"Did that already, lover. Had a good dive?" Terry sat down on the floor and kissed me, careful not to drip all over me.

"Yeah, great time. Stephen's had wet dreams all afternoon over some of the stuff we found. Missed you, though. Feel like a heel. I'll grab a quick shower and be with you in ten minutes. Get the beers in and I'm yours all night." He stood up to go; I caught his hand in mine.

"Sorry love, my dance card's full. You'll have to save it for later on in the cabin..." I licked my lips and widened my eyes.

"Fancy scrubbing my back now?" He asked hopefully. I shook my head.

"I'm all dressed up. You'll have to wait. But it will be worth your while- I've been working on this all afternoon..." He moved fast then, God bless him. As long as he never finds out!

"Oi! Droopy Drawers- bring us another of these!" I shouted over to Killick who slunk over in oleaginous fashion with another Margarita. As he set it down on the table beside me, in his obsequious way, he muttered, "Which if they had even 'alf an idea what you'd been up to this afternoon, milady, they would be pitching you in the briny again..."

I shot him a look. "And who's going to rat on me... King Rat himself?"

"I would beg pardon, Ma'am, for you to watch your step and keep your eyes off Captain Jack, if you please, or a little birdie might just speak out of turn, in a manner of speaking, your ladyship." The old goat was threatening me!

"Well, maybe at dinner I might just let slip to my dear friend Jack that I saw you 'half inch' a full litre of XO Cognac out of the bar last night- fifty quid's worth at least- ...and don't try denying it - he'd believe me even if I was lying- which I'm not, you old bugger."

Killick narrowed his eyes but I saw a sneaking admiration for my trump card. "As you please, my lady, but take heed...not much escapes Preserved Killick on board a ship, and that's the God's honest truth..."

"Crawling around in your rat holes again, were you? You don't scare me- if you open your gob, I'll have your balls preserved, Killick, in a bottle of cognac, you old fart."

He bowed and glared at me. War declared, no doubt about that. But I love a good battle. And I've got Jack on my side and Bud and Cort and John and Maximus and Jeff and Paul and Dino and Stephen, possibly Hando at a pinch...not to mention my own Captain Fantastic himself. Bring them on- I'm ready for anything. I play with the big boys!