"Lachlan you were way out of line then...."

Lachlan spun round. "He's got his tongue down your throat and I'm the one out of line?"

I gaped open mouthed at him. "What? How dare you say that to me? How dare you!" I couldn't believe the tone he had taken.

"Someone should...Christ!" Lachlan walked up to me, took my shoulders as if he wanted to shake some sense into me, let me go and then stepped away, raking his left hand through his hair and dragging deeply on the cigarette.

"Look- you are jumping to conclusions, Lachlan. He came to take me out to dinner, that's all!"

"He had his fucking hands all over you - your face, your breasts.... Christ, your...  That's dinner? It's eight o' bloody clock in the morning!"

"Don't be so crude. He did not do that... he was just... we were talking..."

"He sure as fuck did - that wasn't talking. I saw you!"

I put my hands on my head and groaned.  "You don't understand..." but he hadn't finished.

"...And God only knows what went on here before I got here- did you give him a goodbye root at well?" He took me by the elbows and shook me; his face was set and pale- I had never seen him like this. Looking into his eyes, I faced him back:

"I said nothing happened- are you implying I am lying? Shut up!"

"He's a fucking animal to take you like that," Lachlan sputtered.

I sobbed out. "He did not! He just came to see me...he's a friend...I am not lying..."

"You lying?  Yeah, like that's never happened before- just never figured you'd do it to my face, Jesus..." He turned his back and resumed pacing, raking his hands through his hair again, his need for physical action palpable in every movement.

"Thank you very much. That makes me feel so much better," I spat out at his retreating back. The atmosphere in the kitchen was electric, tension hummed in the air, his anger and my fear blending to create an almost tangible barrier between us, where once there had been a loving friendship. I wanted to scream and rail at his blinkered viewpoint; I wanted to punish myself for my stupid weakness. "Let me ask you this... what are you here for? Answer me that! Why did you show up this morning unannounced?"

"I'm here to check up on you. I was worried about you being alone." But I detected a slight hesitance in his tone. He does not lie easily. "Just to see how you were. You know, a friendly hello..."

"Oh, very thoughtful of you," I did not hide the brittle sarcasm from my voice. "So you weren't expecting a bit of fun and games? Fancied a quick morning shag while the plane was getting serviced? The captain fancied a bit of a service himself? Well, let me take myself along to my old mate, Betty. She's always good for a bit. Open her legs for anyone..."

"Shut up, Uma...you know I bloody didn't. That's not how I think about you..."

He stopped and leaned back on the worktop. "If you think I came for that, it doesn't speak very well of what you think of me now, does it?" He waved a hand idly over to the table where he had thrown what he was carrying when he had arrived. I didn't even look at his gifts. "As a matter of fact I brought you those...I just wanted to see how you were."

"Well, maybe I don't believe you." I was lying. Of course I believed him, but I was so angry that I wanted him to hurt the way I was. I succeeded and saw his eyes flare with temper. He was raging at my cruel dismissal of his attempt to reach me.

"Have I EVER given you a reason not to trust me? Have I ever treated you like an easy lay?" I could hear the catch in his voice; it made me want to cry too. "Have I EVER lied to you?"

I muttered darkly, digging myself in my usual reckless fashion- how many times have I done this to men I loved?

"You are all the fucking same...you just want a piece of me. Men- that's all they ever want ..."

He fixed me a cold stare. "Then maybe that's because you're always so willing to give it away to all comers. You don't know the difference between a genuine man and a paying client..." I slapped his face. The noise reverberated through the silent house; his stubbled cheek reddened where I had made contact.

"You bastard...when have I ever lied to YOU? And I have always given you exactly what you wanted...so, don't treat me like this!"

He sneered cruelly at me. "Oh yes, the 'poor little me' act....you're very good at that. Well, play it to someone else, sister. You can't wrap me round your little finger like you wrap Terry - poor bastard..." He came close, his finger pointed accusingly. "I saw the way he was touching you..."

"Fuck off...you saw nothing." I faced him back and spat the words out. "It was in your head. We went to dinner and I asked him to stay because it was late. He slept ALONE in the spare room...I was just talking to him when you found us..."

"Jesus, this is like some bloody nightmare...I sure as hell wish I could wake up from it..."

"Look, I am trying to explain this. We slept alone..."

"Sure, probably after he fucked you on the sofa- or did the two of you even make it off the floor?"

"What? That is so cruel. Do you really think I would let him touch me now?"

"Cruel or honest- sometime it's a bloody fine line...."

"Bloody cruel. Bloody unfair. I have kept away from Maximus for months and he has accepted that. I owe him something."

"You don't owe him anything and if he says that you do..."

"You'll do what?  Go all virtuous and feel bound to tell tales on me to your big brother? Lachlan- it is none of your fucking business what I do with other Brothers..."

 "Not my business? NOT MY BUSINESS? Good job I didn't say that to Thorne when he asked me to sort you the hell out...or you'd still be counting sleeping pills..."

I gasped at his comment; even he grimaced, aware that he had gone too far. "You are pushing me, Lachlan."

"And the two of you are pushing me. Jesus, I want to..." He made a wild arm gesture - like taking a swing at a ghost. His fist hit the wall and dislodged a picture, it crashed to the ground.

"Who's the animal now?" I reminded him of his description of Maximus. I tried again to explain.

"Just then...we were talking and he...well, he nearly kissed me..."

Lachlan grabbed my arms and hauled me close- face to face with him and panting with anger. I continued speaking in a soft tone. "...but you walked in..."

"Look me in the eye and tell me that...Look me in the eye and tell me nothing happened..."

"I just did. Lachlan, I-did-nothing - but even if I had- it is not your affair. You do not own me!"

He let my arms go. "Well, I can see where I fit into all of this."

"No, you can't... that is the point."

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Are you going to dismiss me too? The fucking little boy being sent to the corner?"

"I didn't say that. He said that because he was angry and you are fucking lucky that is all he did."

"He said it because he's an arsehole. I'm not afraid of him."

"He said it because you embarrassed him and me."

"Good. He should be embarrassed and so should you, doing this behind Terry's back."

"Why? Tell me what he did wrong? Does Terry know that you are here?" My point was obvious and it hit home. He frowned and refused eye contact.

"If he's read the maintenance schedule he should." His evasive answer neatly side-stepped the issue.

"So he doesn't. How nice. Two men creeping round behind his back. He'll be delighted."

Lachlan narrowed his eyes and glared - it was more than evident he didn't like to have been caught out in that way. "I'm here to see how you are, not to root you out in the back garden... unlike your other visitor."

I ignored his futile insult. "You slip over here hoping to catch me in bed so you can have a bit of nookie while you're away from home. So you find me with another man...in a position that is hardly compromising- and then act like a big baby about it...He was leaving me and kissing me goodbye. Why is that so forbidden? Why am I not allowed even to see him? Everyone else sees whomever they like..."

"Everyone else is up front about who they see. You two behave like you have something to hide. What exactly is it that you are hiding? Don't try and pretend Terry knows he was here..."

I stiffened at the mention of his name and realised we were getting to the real crux of the matter. Would he tell? I brushed the comment aside and tried to bluff it out but he had me against the ropes and he knew it.

"...Well? I just bet you're all hot to trot to tell him about this then. What did you promise him? No secrets?"

"I don't need to tell him...his little mate here will be so keen to spill the beans, won't you?"

Lachlan made a sound of disgust with me. "Why the fuck, shouldn't I? Why should I protect the pair of you? He calls me a boy and you call me a baby. That's what little kids do, isn't it? Tittle-tattle to Daddy?"

I picked up the phone from the wall fixture and held it out. "Here's the phone- see if I care! Go and tell him Uma's behaving like a whore again...make it sound really bad. You'll be so proud of yourself."

He took the hands free receiver and tossed it across the room- it bounced off a wall and fell to the floor in pieces.

"I don't have to make anything sound bad. You've done that well enough all on your own. And if you are keeping this from him- God help you..."

I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the hallway. "Look - go upstairs- check the beds...examine the fucking sheets if you want...I never touched him."

"And just what the fuck would that prove?  "He paused and I knew he was going to say something awful. But his crude comment took even me by surprise. "We all know you swallow, love."

I sobbed and raised my hand to slap him again; he caught it and pushed me from him. I staggered back; there were tears in my eyes. It was so cruel to hear him speak like that even if there was an element of truth in his words. It is always when blows hit closest to home that they do the most damage.

"Get out of my house...now! I have taken enough from you!"

"That's the way it is, Betty? I hope your Jimmy's happy with you now. Happily ever after, my arse." He sneered and stormed past me to pick up his car keys from the counter top.

It was the final straw. I picked up the nearest object I could lay my hands on and raised my hand to hit him with it. But then I noticed what it was and stopped. He half turned, saw my position and hissed "Go on, do it! Throw that back at me as well!"

I trembled. "Where did this come from?"

"Where the hell do you think?" he spat out.

"Uncle Joe's Mint Balls? I love them. I always liked them. My Grandad used to buy them for me when I was a little girl." It was a metal tin of an old fashioned brand of sweets. He must have picked them up at one of those gift shops at the airport. It was typical of the sort of quirky little present that Lachlan would think of. It took the wind right out of my sails.

He bowed his head and cleared his throat, suddenly embarrassed. "Sweets for my sweet."

His voice was low and husky, a sad edge to it- unbelieving that he had found himself in this terrible fight with me; horrified by the words we had flung at each other in anger. The reminder of innocence, encapsulated in the tin of sweets from a bygone age made our quarrel seem even more brutal than ever.

"What are we doing, Lachlan?" I whispered, my hand dropping and cradling the tin to my breast. How did we get here?

Lachlan turned away, his back to me- I knew that he was finding it hard to set aside his rage- he is a man- his testosterone was swirling around his blood, seeking release. But he managed to gain control and I saw his head hang down; he was ashamed of how he had behaved. "I'll go. I'm sorry."

I reached a hand out and touched his broad back tentatively, felt the tension in every muscle, longed for him to relax. He shook his head. "I had no right...especially now..."

"No, don't go like this...I don't want to be alone anymore. Please ... I'm so sorry you saw us...I swear that it wasn't what you thought. I had no idea until he showed up out of the blue. I couldn't turn him away. I wouldn't turn him away. He's a good man and he's had a hard time."

I wasn't sure if Lachlan agreed or not with my appraisal of Maximus but he gave me the benefit of the doubt. He raised his hand up as if to shield himself from my words.

"Don't tell me how great a man he is. Not now. He's not the only soldier you know to have suffered."

I nodded." This is not about hurting Terry or you... I wouldn't do that for the world - surely you know that? But Maximus and I have a past and you can't pretend that never happened."

"I am not asking you do pretend anything. I know he cares for you. Any blind fool could see that. But he doesn't feel the same when it comes to Terry. He doesn't care if he hurts him."

"You're wrong, Lachlan. It has never been about Terry except when Terry made it so. Maximus is an honourable man. He respects another man's home and family. But he lives by a different honour code from men like you and Terry. But he shouldn't have humiliated you. I was angry with him for that."

Lachlan sat down and put his head in his hands. "He's out in the cold, denied the woman he loves. Think about this. Reverse the positions. Would Terry stop at anything to have you if the boot was on the other foot? If you don't see that then you are more naïve than I imagined."

"Actually you are wrong about that. In the reverse position Terry would put as much distance between the pair of us as he could. Maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do." Lachlan went quiet and tilted his head in acknowledgement. Terry's track record already was proof of his feelings in that quarter- he would not take another man's woman even if he could. "But you shouldn't have called him out. I am not a piece of meat for two dogs to fight over."

He blushed. "That's between him and me, not you. But you're not a piece of meat- I know that. And if I had to fight over you, you wouldn't be worth having. It was about protecting you, not possessing you. Do you believe that?"

I sat down by him and stroked back his hair, holding his face in my hands. "You have a woman of your own. You don't need me. Maximus is alone and adrift. But I know he's dangerous- why do you think I have been running for so long? What could I do? Slam the door in his face?"

"He is dangerous and you shouldn't have been with him here - alone - no matter how innocent it might have been. Not now, Uma...not now." He gave me a warning look; he was still not happy at what he had walked in on.

I stood up and brewed a cup of tea while he lit another cigarette and smoked pensively. I gave him a cup and then picked up the discarded flowers, arranging them in a vase of water and placing them on the hall table. Lachlan followed me through and caught my hand; he pulled me against him and kissed my forehead. It was an apology and a peace offering.

"I promise I will tell Terry...but please don't rat on me first...if he finds out like that it will seem so much worse..." I pleaded with him with my eyes. He exhaled and raised his eyes.

"I wouldn't have anyway."

"Really?"

Lachlan sighed heavily as though he was disturbed that I might have thought he would. "Really. If he asked me directly, I wouldn't deny it but I wouldn't drop you in it. That's not the kind of friendship I thought I had with you."

"Oh, Lachlan..." I just burst into tears. He held me close and comforted me like a child, rubbing my back in a tender gesture, hushing me. "I'm sorry, sorry, so sorry if I let you down..."

"Don't cry...please, don't cry..." His thumbs wiped away the tears and he tilted my face up to his. "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have yelled at you..."

"I can't bear to fight with you, Lach. I can't bear it if I lose your friendship.  I know I deserved what you said...I shouldn't have had him here -but it just happened.  I mean that he came here...but nothing actually happened...nothing...even though we both wanted it to...and that is the honest truth. I won't deny I wanted him to make love to me. I still love him." I looked directly at him but he did not flinch; my honesty was what he was after.

Lachlan sighed sadly, hanging his head. "I know you do, and I also know that you are not entirely wrong about why I am here." He gave me a wry look and I chucked his chin; it was as close as he was going to come to admitting that he was here for more than just to check up on how I was.

"So you believe me now? You believe that I would never, ever lie to you? Do you understand me?"

"I believe you. I do" His hands circled my waist and he nudged me in closer. His breath was hot on my neck. "I do understand."

"Even if I had to tell you things that you wouldn't like to hear?" He groaned slightly and whispered, "It wouldn't be the first time. But I'm glad you feel you can. That's how I want it to be, love. The good and the bad.

"Can you stay? How long are you here for?"

"You want me to stay? Here?"

"Of course I do. Where else would you go?"

"I'm here for two days; I can get a room at the airport..."

"Don't you dare!" I hugged him close. "You know you're the best friend I've got. After Terry. And he's the kind of friend who ties my shoelaces together and puts worms in my pocket..." I grinned cheekily at him. He smiled.

"You're my mate too, Betty."

We walked back into the kitchen, his arm around my shoulder and my head resting against him. It was still only just past nine and I felt like I had gone through the mill already. It had been quite a morning.

"We do have bonzer fights though, don't we?" I chuckled waving the tin of Mint balls in his face.

"Well, I have to say, nobody's ever attempted to chuck a mint ball at my head before." He laughed. "Hot and cold... better than lukewarm any day."

"You were lucky the knife block wasn't to hand. I once threw a knife at Terry..." I mused with a smile.

"Wouldn't matter... you throw like a girl..."

"That's what Terry said. I'll get him one of these days." I grinned.

"And what did he do? Throw it back? No, I reckon he put you over his knee..."

"None of your business what he did..." Lachlan picked me up and carried me in his arms - I giggled and struggled playfully.

"Like we all can't tell what it is you two do behind closed doors? And even in places without doors, I reckon..." He placed me down gently and raised his eyebrows playfully.

"That obvious, huh?

"That obvious- Heather says she's going to bring earplugs the next time she stays with you two," he grinned.

"Don't even start that, smart arse- with the screams of ecstasy coming from your room..."

Suddenly we were back where we used to be. We snuggled down on the couch in the lounge and switched on daytime TV, just chilling out and chatting. He stroked my hair.

"You feel so good, Betty."

"So do you." He pulled me into his lap and I straddled him, my head on his shoulder.

We drifted there dreamily for a while, no doubt replaying the events of the morning in our minds. I felt lethargic and lazy- I didn't want to drag myself away from the comfort of his arms, worn out by the emotional roller coaster we had ridden.

"I didn't mean what I said about you acting childishly. You didn't, you acted like a man -and he knew that, which is why he brought you down in front of me."

Lachlan rested his head back on the back of the couch, embarrassed that I had turned the conversation back to where he did not wish it to go.

"Uma!" There was a warning note in his voice. He didn't want to go back over old ground. "No more talk of Maximus."

"Don't worry...I'll drop it now...but I wanted you to know." He nodded but began to stroke me a little more physically - it is how Lachlan deals with emotion when he cannot find the words to express himself. Instead he bent down and kissed me unexpectedly, a deep and searching kiss, somewhere between proof and challenge; you can have this- why do you need anything else?

"Are we OK, Betty? Are you OK?"

"I'm OK." I reached for his face and drew him to me, kissed him in return as passionately as he had kissed me.

"You sure?" I nodded.

"Just a bit sad -a bit mixed up. That's all."

"Mixed up over what?"

"Things."

"Such as?" he was not letting me escape with evasiveness. I hid my face in his shoulder and whispered the secret words. He could not make them out. Cupping my chin, he tilted my face. "No hiding, Betty...what did you say?"

"Why do I still want him, Lachlan? Now when I have all I ever dreamed of? What makes me still yearn for more?"

He thought about my words for a moment and then whispered his response. "I think a better question is 'how much are you willing to risk to have him?' You've got an awful lot to lose, love."

I lay there for a while, hearing the deep reassuring sound of his breathing against my ear. It felt like the calm after the storm when the landscape is still bruised and torn but the wind and rain have died down and an unearthly silence seems to reign on the devastation wrought.

"I won't let him back, not now...but one day...I'll have to face it. In the end our pasts do catch up with us- we both know that for certain. But I can't cope with it now. I just can't."

"I wouldn't expect you to- he shouldn't expect you to."  A dark quality had entered his voice again. He was still angry with Maximus even if he had forgiven me. I tried to lighten the moment.

"So he was a bit naughty- haven't you ever pushed things just a little? Even with me?" I teased and dug him in the ribs. He relaxed and wiggled his eyebrows.

"You know I have- you know that better than anyone." His lopsided grin restored the charming young pilot, the front he preferred to show to the world. My hands began to caress him- first his face and then his neck, my fingers picking at the buttons of his shirt, opening a few to slip inside and touch his warm flesh. He tried to carry on a conversation, telling me he just wanted me safe, didn't want anyone to threaten me - but he was losing the battle against his nature. A point was being reached. It may have not been a wise place to go.

I whispered into his ear. "I like it when you're blood is up...you are quite the bruiser, Lach...all that male hormone gone to waste...I want you to show me how it makes you feel..." I heard the low moan deep in his throat and watched his eyelids flicker closed. His tongue brushed his upper lip and he clenched his teeth to struggle to maintain his cool- it looked like he was losing the battle. He is not the only one who likes to push.

His hands slid up my back to my neck, one circled my throat, his thumb tracing the line of my chin and then finding my mouth to caress my lips; I sucked it in and licked sensuously. At that he forced his lips on mine, breathing heavy and tongue rasping. I slid my hand from where it was rubbing his nipple to run down his belly and rest on his groin; I squeezed the growing hardness.

"NO" Lachlan's voice was gruff but firm; he pulled away my hand.

"Stop, love. I can't - it's too much...I didn't come for that." He brought my hands to his mouth and kissed each palm. We both took deep breaths and tried to calm ourselves.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have...I'm so thoughtless..." He kissed my words away, nuzzling against my ear. His voice was in a grating murmur, a darker Lachlan, a man aroused.

"Just don't touch me. If you do I'm gone."

And then something happened that changed the moment completely. Life is like that- we can turn on a sixpence. Just when we were flirting with our deeper, darker natures, light and innocent merriment re-entered our world. He tickled me. I wriggled. We fooled about. My stomach rumbled. He snorted.

"Hey- I'm starving...fancy some brunch? Well if I can't get my tongue round that stick of sweets in your pocket, I reckon I better make some bacon sarnies. What do you reckon?"

"Stick of sweets and two mint balls, you mean...perhaps dessert?" I slapped him and jumped off his knee, dragging him back to the kitchen. "Get me some bacon out of the fridge... you want salad with that???"

And so we settled back into our usual relationship which lies somewhere between real siblings and lovers. In some ways Lachlan and I are rather alike. Not that he is a raving lunatic with an obsession with shoes, clothes and the world of antiquity, of course, but that we both share a similar trait. We have hot tempers and are given to quick flare ups, saying the first thing that comes into our heads and generally making a tit of ourselves when angry. But as quickly as we rise to the bait we also subside and neither of us holds grudges for long. Terry is so different. He has a temper, but it is securely buttoned down and reveals itself in quiet cruelty. Had Terry made some of those remarks to me, then he would have meant to hurt and I would not have been able to shrug off the implication of what his measured words really meant.

Apart from an occasional side wards glance that betrayed our inner emotions, both of us seemed happy enough to lay aside the brutal quarrel and start all over. But something lay between us that made it difficult for us to relax completely and intimacy was held back almost instinctively.

That night, after a day of rather aimless domesticity- shopping at the supermarket, cooking a meal together, a walk in the woods and an evening in before the telly, the inevitable moment arrived. It was bedtime and we hadn't really established sleeping arrangements yet. Was there a problem? Actually there was. Lachlan had been quick to point out that he was not here for a bit off the record, nor was he likely to forget that he had jumped at Maximus for breaking rules. I had assured him that Max had slept separately from me - I could hardly relent and suddenly admit Lachlan to my bed. But I wanted him just as I had wanted Maximus. They were Brothers, my Number Twos, why wouldn't I feel like this? The pull of his presence was all around and I must have been having the same effect on him. The Game is about the celebration of our unique bonds, the offering of our sexuality to the other in love and friendship.

But somehow it wasn't as easy as that now.

I opted for a matter of fact, 'Let's get this show on the road' sort of attitude. Yawning and begging for an early night, I reminded Lachlan that I hadn't changed the sheets in the guest room and I was sure he would prefer not to slip into the sheets that Maximus had vacated that morning. He tossed me a wry glance. "Come on, give me a hand with them- it's easier with two," I teased.

Lachlan smirked. "So are lots of things, love." I pulled my tongue out at him and we wandered upstairs, switching off lights as we went. Entering the bedroom, I smiled to myself. It was completely perfectly arranged with not a thing out of place; the bedding was stripped and folded at the bottom of the mattress. It was so typical of him. He is disciplined in all things and completely self- sufficient. Always the soldier. Always the legionary.

I pulled out fresh bedding and we set to work, laughing and teasing as we tucked in sheets and eased on pillow cases and the duvet cover. Lachlan inaugurating a pillow fight as soon as we had finished- I should have seen it coming- and within moments we were rolling all over the neatly made bed hitting each other and giggling like two teenagers. But like two teenagers, such horseplay often leads to play of a different kind. Bed, high spirits and a man and woman are a recipe for more than just a child's game.

Pinned to the bed by Lachlan straddling me, my arms held firmly above my head in his left hand as he tickled me mercilessly with his right, I begged him to stop.

"Please....Lach...I'm so ticklish...stop!!!"

"What'll ya give me to stop?" he grinned wickedly.

"Anything!"

"Anything?" His snigger was dirtier than ever. "Is that an offer?"

"I'm only allowed to talk about sex- so yeah, you can have some oral sex if you like..." I replied with a cheeky face.

"Oral sex? Now you're talking...."

"I meant just talk!" I squealed as he pretended to unzip himself with his right hand while still holding me securely with his left. "You are a beast, Lachlan Curry....good job I like animals...." I pouted suggestively at him.

"And you are a naughty girl," he replied with a grin. "But fortunately for you I am not that much of an animal, so your virtue is safe."

"Pity. Just when I wanted to request that my virtue be thrown to the winds and all..."

Lachlan sat back, releasing my hands. He pretended to be contemplating what I had said. "I shall be more than glad to fill any request."

"You can fill my request anytime, big boy," I giggled.

We looked at each other and then we both sighed and smiled. Climbing off the bed and smoothing it down, replacing the pillows carefully, we managed to pull away from the erotic zone into which we had been straying.

"Right...before I go to bed, I need a treat," announced Lachlan smartly. "On the double, girl...a bowl of vanilla ice cream and make that snappy..."

"You're on...with a green apple sliced up in it..." I smacked my lips.

"What?"

"I love apples and ice cream- I eat it all the time these days..."Lachlan laughed and pulled a face. We tripped down stairs hand in hand to the kitchen. "And then, fortified by a bowl of Haagen Daz's finest I can go and call the Boss...I think we need a heart-to- heart..."

Lach grinned over, licking the back of his spoon. "Good luck, Betty...it was nice knowing you..."

I pulled out my tongue and ate up my bowl. But he was right. God knows how Terry would react when I told him about the events of this day...but, no secrets...I wasn't making that mistake ever again.