Feb 21st -22nd

The next morning Maximus was in a good mood at breakfast. Lily seemed much better- I might have been wrong about her sickening for something. He drank back his coffee and announced he had business in Oxford today. I groaned but secretly felt relieved. He would be away all day and I wouldn't have to face him. "It's Saturday!"

He grinned back. "Let me finish! The meeting is brief- I merely have to look around one of the debating halls- Clinton has a lecture there soon and we are preparing a contingency plan. It will not take long. I was going to say- you and Lily should come with me. You can look around the shops or the historic areas while I am engaged and then we can take a lunch somewhere...what do you think?"

Incredible isn't it? Just when I wished he would leave me alone to wallow in the mire of my guilt, he went and took tolerant husband pills and started making me feel worse. The irony of it all!!

"Great idea...Lily will love that...what do you say, a day out with Daddy?"

"Yeah!!!"

I busied myself with getting her dressed. That's when the fun began. I was easing her into a pair of fleecy jeans and a warm velour jumper when she threw a tantrum. "NO!! MY TERRY SHIRT!!" Our daughter is frighteningly impressive when she lets rip.

"You can't wear that. Be a good girl!" She ran away and rummaged around until she found the shirt and tried to put it on herself. "No, Lily! Mummy said NO!" I insisted

"I WANT MY TERRY SHIRT!" And she threw herself dramatically on a chair, sobbing into the cushion.

"What is that child shouting about?" Maximus came in fastening his tie.

"We have had a slight difference of opinion here, Max. She doesn't want to wear what I have selected."

He lifted her gently into his arms; she sobbed mournfully against his shirt. "MY TERRY SHIRT!!!"

"Veni, parvule, (come, little one) do what your mother says..." he whispered softly. She took one look at him, threw back her head and stiffened her legs. He almost dropped her she moved so fast.

"WANT MY TERRY SHIRT!!!!"

"What is she talking about? What is this shirt?"

I could cheerfully have strangled her. "Terry Thorne gave her a birthday present. It's an Australian rugby shirt and she is very attached to it..."

"Terry Thorne? When has he been here?" I was surprised at the sudden change in his demeanour to suspicion.

"Em...well, you know how he helped with the car...I took him a bottle of malt and this little picture Lily drew of him with yellow and green crayons. He remarked they were Australian national squad colours so must have had the idea of giving her a tiny shirt for her birthday..."

"You've seen him three times lately and you never thought even to tell me?"

Four times actually. "I did tell you about the car and the visit with the Scotch. I must have forgotten when he dropped in here."

He sat his still sobbing daughter on a chair and walked over to me, his hand on his hip. "Terry Thorne comes to see you and you don't think to mention it to me?"

I looked back calmly. "He came to see Lily...he was only here five minutes and she wears the shirt to play in....I just didn't think about it..."

His expression was thoughtful; my prickling sense of guilt rose. What could he glean from that- there was nothing wrong in what he knew so far, was there? Maximus turned back to Lily and spoke sternly. "Wear what you are told and be quick about it. I will not have a child of mine behave in this indulged fashion..."

"NO!" Lily faced him up (or at least she stood on her chair and reached his waist) "Nolo, nolo. Nolo!" (I don't want!)

He picked her up and attempted to dress her in the clothes I had set out; she wriggled and screamed and fought him until I really thought she would hurt herself. "Max - stop! She's going to hurt herself or be sick...Lily, calm down." He let her go and she ran to me, grabbing my legs and hiding her face against me.

"She will not win!" he hissed.

I sighed deeply. "Max- she's two. They call it the 'Terrible Twos'. She is learning to say 'No' and have her own way. If you let these things get out of proportion then every day is a battle royal. This is not a big deal. She can wear this shirt with a jacket over it. I want to save the big fights that we will no doubt have for the really important issues - those that concern safety or danger. We can't go into over drive at the drop of a hat- or it makes it impossible for her to tell the serious things from everything else..."

"So she wins? I am bested by a two year old - a girl at that?"

"A girl? What the hell has that got to do with it? Sometime you talk such hogwash, Maximus." I sat her on my knee and dressed her in the green and yellow Rugby shirt. She sucked her thumb and looked daggers at him. To add insult to injury she suddenly announced. "Don't like you...like Terry."

Maximus looked at me accusingly and stormed out. "I shall be warming up the car when you are finally ready!"

I looked at her and she looked at me. "Now, look what you've done!" I told her as I fastened up her coat and slipped on her wooly hat.

But strangely enough the whole incident cleared the air. In the car, Maximus drove in silence for a while until she nodded off and then he turned to me. "I'm sorry. I was short with her. I've never seen her like that before."

I squeezed his hand. "She's not going to stay a baby for ever, you know.  If you think this is bad, you better get prepared for worse. Imagine her at sixteen?" He shuddered.

"Give me boys any day..." but he held his hand up before I could argue back... "And I did not mean that in the way you think. I mean, I understand the way boys think and moreover you can always give a boy the weight of your right hand if he tries that sort of thing on..."

I groaned. Oh, my God, just wait until The Child Protection Agency heard that one!

But it was a good day and we all made friends later. In fact I was glad that we had gone out, as it sort of made me see that whatever had happened the day before it had been some crazy aberration and it would never be repeated. Maximus would not find out and life would return to its normal rhythm. Apart from the fact that I still hadn't told him about my new job...

Lily had just dropped off for an afternoon nap and I was grabbing a much needed session on my new commission planning. The front door bell rang. I sighed and hurried to get it before it woke her. I was dressed in jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, hair piled up and my reading glasses on.

Opening the door I gasped in horror. "You? How dare you turn up here? Go away!" And I went to slam the door; his foot was in it and he pushed it open. I ran back as he strode into my house. "I'm going to ring the police. You have no right to come near me...I told you to go away...have you any idea what I've been through?" I picked up the hall phone

Terry Thorne held up his hands. "Look, I'm not touching you. I'm over here and I won't move ...put the fuckin' phone down and don't be so ridiculous. What do you think I'm gonna do to you?"

"Stay over there! What do you want?" I glared at him from across the hallway.

"Talk...I need to talk to you..."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you. Do you have any idea what I have been through these past few days?"

He made a noise of disapproval. "You? Yeah ...actually I have. Because I've been through it as well, love. You don't corner the market in guilt. That's why I'm here. We need to talk about it..."

"I do not WANT to talk about it. I don't ever want to see you again much less talk about it..."

"Calm down. Where's the little one?"

"Asleep."

"Good. Let's keep her that way. Now, I'm going to go into your lounge room and sit down. Join me and let's talk like two rational adults...ok?"

I nodded reluctantly and he walked through; I followed at a safe distance. Once we were seated at the opposite sides of the room, he began. "As far as I'm concerned what happened last Friday afternoon was both of us acting way out of character. Correct?"

I nodded.

"Now at the time, I felt very strange. Not drunk- because, love, if I had drunk as much as I would need to get that irrational then I wouldn't have got it up. You understand my point?"

I nodded.

"I felt as though I was on a trip. You ever done acid, mind bending drugs, things like that?" I pouted, unwilling to answer. "Come on, Uma, I haven't time for this. You know you have. And there is no way that Maximus is going to hear this from my lips. Did you feel any such thing the other afternoon?"

I thought for a moment and then nodded. He was right. I had been awake throughout but it was as if I had viewed the events through a lens, watching someone else.

"Now, we weren't drunk and no one slipped us a mickey. We sure as hell weren't having a joint hallucination...so what did happen?"

I shrugged.

"Do you know what has been going on with the others? I've been doing a bit of checking..."

"Others?"

"Yeah...our brothers and their wives. So far I have this. Dino thinks Heather is having an affair with Lachlan Curry or, if not having an affair then they are on the way there. Darcy is doing the tango with Bud White. Hando has been a naughty boy with the nubile Teener- Jody has walked out with the little boy and the baby. Your own noble general has met my wife a few times for lunch off the record, although we presume that he hasn't taken it further- yet...."

"What? Max has had lunch with Ann- where?"

Terry grimaced at my reaction. "It was just lunch. He met her in Berlin- you know when he was there- the time your car broke down? And then apparently took her to lunch in Paris the day we...I mean...it was above board...Ann told me about it...."

"He never told me. Why would he keep it secret?" I chewed on a hang nail and played with my hair.

"Did you tell him about our meeting?"

"Of course I fucking didn't- I slept with you or have you conveniently forgotten? Are you suggesting that is what he did?"

Terry put his hands to cover his face. "No, I am not suggesting it. I am merely saying that the fickle hand of fate seems to have thrown them together as it did us. It would appear, however, that they had somewhat greater self control than we did."

I blushed and nodded. He continued.

"So we have all these odd occurrences amongst the Family and then the doozy of them all - Isobel is banging the fucking padre at any available opportunity...and they are just the ones I know about..."

"What? Isobel and Cort? You have to be joking!" Isobel? After what she had said about Jack the other day?

"No joke. Ever since that wedding last month there has been some real laying down of inhibitions. Now we've had gatherings before and there have been some eyeing up of each other but nothing like this. The pull might pull but the couples have managed to resist it so far..."

"The pull?" I stared at him unsure of what he meant. I saw his reaction; he realized immediately that I didn't have a clue.

"Yeah...the pull...you don't know what I'm talking about, do you? Jesus Christ- has he never even told you? He comes and frightens the life out of my wife with his list of crazy rules and never warns you? Look, Uma, there is a pull to your partner from the moment you see them- can't be denied- but there are other forces pulling us to find other members of the family attractive- not as strong, but there all the same...that's what happened between you and me. I recognised it but I would never have acted upon it. I love my wife. You love your husband. Something turned both of us beyond the normal accepted limits of our behaviour..."

"Maximus never told me...everyone else knows? What are you saying?" I was reeling under the full impact of his words.

Terry sighed. "I guess he was trying to protect you... I always wondered why he never brought you to anything. He was scared of it..."

"Hando...I felt it with Hando when we went to Australia. I think Max sensed it then...Oh my God...Lachlan, too...but you...with you it was so much stronger...from the first moment..."

He smiled slightly, as if flattered. "Yeah...that's how I felt. Couldn't stop thinking about you...dreamed of you a few times...erotic dreams...not ones I normally have problem controlling," he added in embarrassment. "That day, I was wired from the off. My mind was on sex...my temperature was high...I was restless... and then you walked into my sights and I lost it, Uma, I just lost it. I went after you. I didn't think of Ann, Max, Lily, what was right...I just wanted you..."

I stared at his open acknowledgement. "I know. Me, too. I had even worn very inappropriate sexy lingerie for an interview..."

"I know...remember?" We both smiled shyly at that.

"So why did this pull suddenly get out of control - everyone banging each other like rabbits?"

He grimaced at my expression but laughed despite himself. "You sure have a way with words, love. I'm going to give you my theory and you may think I am stark staring mad...but here goes anyway. We did a background check on Isobel when she got married to Jack. Found nothing. Now, that's unusual. Everyone has some record. Parking ticket, unpaid fine...whatever. It was like she had never existed. Did a deeper search...just got some information through. Isobel isn't her real name so took longer to pick up her trail. She's a con woman, small time fraudster, works the tourist trade, bars, usual stuff. Speciality is picking up rich men, getting engaged and then disappearing with a whole load of stuff. Now clearly that is where it began with Jack...but she stayed with him this time. Fell for him, how the shit do I know?" He held out his hands in a rather endearing way and then rubbed at his hair. Next he plucked at the scar above his right eyebrow. I found myself once again absorbed by him.

"But there's something else, Uma... Christ, this will sound crazy shit but bear with me... ...the lady also claims to be a witch - from a long line of witches- she puts hexes and charms on people." He paused and looked straight at me. "I think we were the victims of some juju...voodoo...spell...And then there is this." He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "Could you cast a professional eye on this for me?" I took the sheet hesitantly, looking at his face and then to the words scrawled on it.

MANUMTUM RELIGO

I shrugged. "Means nothing to me."

"Then it's not Latin? It might be wrongly transcribed - that's what it sounded like."

"Sounded like?"

He explained about Andy and what Dino had confided in him. I took another look.

"It could be 'Manum tuam religo' which means something like 'I bind your hand...' It's a part of a prayer or ritual or something- the Latin is very simple- not very good- more like medieval or dog Latin. Reminds me of those secret phrases that the Inquisition used to say were proof that a woman was a witch and had cast a spell on the neighbour's cow or something..."

He cleared his throat. "Like a spell?"

"Well, I mean...yeah, something like that, I suppose...what are you trying to prove, Terry?"

Then he gave me his interpretation of what had happened the night of the wedding. The flowers had been belladonna- poison. Lily has been affected- that was why she had been off colour towards the end of the night- we had thought her over-tired. Some hocus pocus had been said and Andy had overheard it. It scared him. Isobel had done something to harm us all- as ridiculous and unlikely as it sounded.

He stopped again as if he expected me to say something sarcastic as a reply- but I didn't. I remembered Max's initial reservations about Isobel and the comments he had made about her reminding him of a woman from his past who had conned him and possibly charmed him...my daughter might have been a dupe...she had been to our house...Maximus had tried to warn me...she had given me that thing...

"You'll probably think I'm losing it good and proper...but I agree with you. Or are we just clutching at straws? Trying to assuage our guilt? I don't know what to say, Terry, except that something was very wrong that day and it wasn't us, not the way we really are. There's something else. Maximus warned me- he's superstitious I know and I took little notice but I can't deny it now- he said she was malevolent. Somehow he knew. She came here one day with a present for Lily- like you did. But she gave me something...Oh God, it was last Thursday, the day before..."

"What did she give you?" he demanded, cutting into my rambling.

I left the room and ran upstairs to where I had hidden the charm beneath my mattress. Clutching the hollow locket filled with herbs, I returned to the lounge. "This. She said it would give me a son." He threw the trinket into the glass ash tray and lit it with his cigarette lighter. I blushed with embarrassment at my acceptance of the charm.

"I doubt it. This will be something working to turn you to me. It would probably have inhibited you and Max as well- although I don't expect you to reveal that sort of detail to me..." he smiled ruefully at that and I could not help but join him.

I stood up and went to the bar, pouring two Scotches. I handed one to Terry and took a swig of the other, coughing slightly as it burned my throat. Terry smiled at my grimace and said "Get it down, love, it will do you good!" I laughed. "So...I don't know if it changes much but at least it may explain one or two things, ya know? Make us feel a little less culpable."

"What can we do about it? Are you going to challenge her on it?" I asked incredulous that I could even imagine this was actually true.

Terry gave me a tightlipped look. "Leave it to me. Don't worry about it. I don't want you implicated in anything. Strikes me, she might have crapped in her own nest this time...I mean...what is going to happen when Captain Jack hears what his little bride has been up to in the confessional with the priest? Might just leave it to them to sort her out." He knocked back his shot and turned to go.

"I'll be off then, Uma. Just make sure you take care. Don't have anything to do with her - and if anything untoward happens- anything- you call me. I reckon we're safe if we keep to phone calls, hey? Next time we do meet, let's hope it's in happier circumstances. Give that little girl of yours a kiss from me. She's a lovely child and I'll miss her. Miss you, too." He put his glass down and walked out into the hallway; I followed behind. He looked sad. I felt sad - as though I was losing a very important part of me. Suddenly he turned.

"You know...if I'd have met you here in London before...I don't know...before I crossed, if that were possible...all those years I lived here, was alone, fucking my head up...if you'd crossed my path then...might have been different, hey?" He gave me a hesitant smile.

I nodded. "Yeah...it would have been different. Definitely different. But then POL might not have happened and you wouldn't be here with Ann. I wouldn't be with Max. Lily wouldn't exist. Would we really change any of it? Lose any of them?"

He shook his head sadly. It was time to leave. Terry returned to his game face and reminded me of his previous warning. "OK...in future, no time together alone. Ever. At gatherings - friendly but stay apart. Not a word to anyone. Ever."

"I won't let you down, Terry. She'll never find out from me." We were standing close, on the brink of parting. Our eyes met. He leaned in to kiss my cheek but I guess we both caught the scent of each other. It happened too quickly for either of us to have thought about it. His hands slipped gently round my neck to cup my face and he kissed me tenderly, sensuously, like a lover kisses his mistress. As my mouth fell open, he went deeper, ravenous now, on and on, until I felt lightheaded and loose. Until all that I could feel was his lips and the hard press of his body. Just before I passed out from both lack of air and utter sensation, he pulled back and stroked back the tears on my cheeks with his thumbs.

"Such a pretty mouth. This is goodbye, Uma. I just wanted one last kiss...No harm in that, hey?"

I watched him stride off down the path, businesslike and imposing as ever, his back straight and determined. But he can't fool me. I know strong men and I know when they are weak, too. This was as hard for him as it was for me. Spell or no spell...I wanted him- and he felt likewise. Pray God we are both as strong as we believe ourselves to be.

"Mummy...where's Terry...I want to show him...he's gone!!!!" At that moment, Lily came pattering down the stairs trailing a large doll behind her. His car was disappearing as she made the door; she threw herself against me in temper. "I want Terry!" I was not in the mood for another tantrum. Pulling her inside indecorously, I plonked her at the kitchen table and got on with dinner until she gave up whining and came over to snuggle back up to me. I thought on all Terry had said and wondered exactly what Isobel's game was. I also wondered if we were all out of the woods yet?