Thursday, December 11th

Watching him from a secluded table in a small shadowed alcove.  I can't believe I'm doing this.  I've never done anything like this in my life.  I've never even been in a place like this in my life.  Thank God the lighting in here is so subdued.  I know I'm blushing; feeling like anyone who looks at me has to know exactly what's happening.  Like it's written in the color on my cheeks and in the trembling of my fingers.  This is not at all how I expected us to find our level again... and yet for some strange, inexplicable reason... it's working.     

I'm so focused on him that I hardly notice my surroundings.  I remember impressions mostly rather than actual detail.  The low lights reflecting warmly on the fine china and sparkling crystal.  The soft drone of other conversations.  The erratic clanking of glasses and silverware.  Music playing in the background that I can only describe as pruriently classical.  Two instruments, a violin and a cello.  It sounds as if they are making love to each other; one high and fluttery like my pulse.  The other rich and warm, like the look in his eyes, like the confidence with which he holds himself. 

Standing there at the bar, his face angled away from me.  The hint of a smile on his lips.  He knows I am having a hard time keeping my eyes off of him.  He knows why, too.  I don't know how long I waited.  It seemed like an eternity.  My glass was refilled twice.  I don't even remember draining it. 

Despite the December chill, I was warm.  My wrap was long gone from my shoulders leaving them bare but for the slim straps of my dress.  Vintage silk number, light and floaty, somewhere between pink and brown.  Like the color of a woman's lips.  Or her nipples.  A perfect match to the pearls he'd given me, had I chosen to wear them this evening.  I hadn't.  With so much family in the city, there was always the chance we might run into one of them and that wasn't something I wanted to share with anyone but him. 

I chose to wear an old necklace of my mother's instead.  Small antique beads made from peach coral and glittering crystal.  It was actually my grandmother's.  She wore it for good luck when she was pregnant with my mother, or so the story goes.  It was the perfect compliment for this dress.  Instead of wearing it long, I'd wrapped the length around my neck three times and fastened it so it had the look of a choker; a look I knew he very much liked.  My insides quickened as memories of another necklace flitted through my mind. 

I looked up and caught his open stare of appreciation.  Though I was still trying to remain unnoticed in my shadowed corner, I was unable to resist the temptation.  I raised my glass to him and nodded once.  As I brought it to my lips, I stretched my foot forward under the cover of the long tablecloth and pushed the chair opposite me out in invitation.  Just a few inches, hardly enough for anyone else to notice. 

Just him.

He did and he nodded at me, smiling as he swallowed the last sip of his drink and slowly, leisurely made his way to where I was sitting.  I closed my eyes and shivered when he sat down in the booth beside me instead of in the seat I'd offered.  His presence was palpable, like a touch.  As aroused as I was, just the scent of him was an exquisite torment - to say nothing of the way he stroked the inside of my wrist in greeting and pressed in close to kiss my cheek.  At least, that's what it must have looked like to everyone else.  In truth, he did kiss me chastely but the words he'd whispered in my ear were anything but proper.

"Are you wearing it?"

His voice rasped over me and I bit my lip gently as I felt my body flutter and contract around it in response.  It wasn't pearls he wanted to see tonight, although this new gift rested where his pearls had once. 

He smiled, pleased at my reaction.  "Mmmm....I can see that you are."  His fingers stroked the stem of his wineglass as he appraised me, his eyes dark with desire and anticipation.  I still couldn't believe I'd done this or that he'd asked me to.  Actually, he was drunk when he asked.  Phone sex with a well-greased Terry Thorne.  God, and you think he's erotically charged before he drinks.  You should have heard him that night.  Sweet Lord. 

In any case, I thought he'd forgotten all about his erotic little request until a package appeared at my door two days later.  Overnight express....with 'England' in the return address.  My hands shook as I opened the card. 

Lassie, 

Hope I didn't embarrass you the other night.  If I did, keep this at home and think of me.  If I didn't, bring it when you come for my birthday.  I'll keep my end of the bargain.  Can't wait to see if you'll keep yours.  My love as always. 

Charlie 

I don't think I was even breathing as I finished opening the package.  I was warm, inside and out, and my cheeks were flaming as I held the fleshy gift in my hands.  I felt lightheaded as words from our last conversation echoed in my head.

My turn.  Imagine if you were sitting there at the table with a mansize dildo between your legs...  It first-  Then me.  I would like you to do that.  To know that you were hiding something beneath the tablecloth and fucking it, thinking of me...  legs open...  full... while I sat and talked to you.  Made you wait for real flesh and blood.  God, I would love to torment you. 

And now, here I am.  Tormented.  Sitting here in this place under Terry's gaze, it was nearly impossible to keep my composure.  I shifted uneasily in the chair and swallowed a gasp as it forced his gift up higher.  He smiled knowingly and moved deeper into the booth, closer and closer to me until his knee brushed against mine under the table.  Pretending to be absorbed in tasting his wine, he bumped me purposefully, smirking at the way it made my body judder in response. 

God, whatever possessed me to think I could do this?  He was just sitting there, his arm across the back of the booth, his fingertips gently playing in my hair.  If anyone looked, he'd appear the very soul of propriety-  all except his eyes.  What I saw there was shockingly indecent.  And so damned hot I could feel the searing weight of his stare.  It was the same look he gives me when he watches my mouth get redder and wetter as I suck him or when he's pushing himself deep inside me and telling me to come on him....and yet he wasn't even touching my skin. 

I felt the fine wool of his slacks against my knee, felt his fingers twining in a curl of my hair and using it to softly tease the back of my shoulder... but that was it.  No real physical contact between us.  Just as he wanted.  His other hand was on his wineglass.  Mine were on my glass as well, one hand touching the base, the other absently stroking the slim stem.  Aside from my flush and the wild light glittering in his eyes, we appeared simply another couple dining in one of the shadowed alcoves.

Of course, the long tablecloth hid an entirely different truth.  My thighs were trembling and he was obscenely erect.  The long cut of his jacket hid it, as the soft folds of my wrap hid the subtle movement of my hips, but nothing could hide the sexually charged atmosphere between us.

Trying for a bravado I didn't quite feel, I sipped my drink and smiled coyly at him, toying with the idea of slipping off my shoe and sliding my foot into his lap.  "You know, I could get away with an awful lot of teasing in a place like this...."

His response was immediate.  "So could I."  His voice wasn't teasing as mine had been.  Oh, God!  The room spun.   

He chuckled at the full body blush that comment drew from me.  You know, I don't even remember ordering or seeing our glasses refilled.  All I remember is him.  The way he simply sat and watched me, nursing a giant hardon while he sipped at his wine and ate from the dishes between us.  A lover's meal, meant to be shared and eaten with your fingers.  Figs and dates and olives....succulent bits of lamb braised with a sweet plum sauce... spiced vegetables on a bed of couscous... flaky pastries stuffed with almonds and honey. 

I don't think I ate five bites.  I simply watched him.  Seeing him savor that sensual meal was an intensely erotic experience I won't soon forget.  And all the while, he watched my face, chewing slowly, licking his fingers and knowing exactly what was going on below, knowing that each time he did, he wound me just that much tighter.  I wasn't at all certain I was going to be able to walk out of this room, much less keep from coming right here at the table.   

His eyes said he knew exactly what was happening to me.  My flush had deepened.  I was perspiring slightly on my upper lip and at the small of my back... to say nothing of the puddle between my legs.  Every time our eyes met, the erotic charge was unbelievable.  I was trying so hard to keep still, to retain what little control I had. 

Of course, he knew how little of it I had left and he delighted in tormenting me.  He sat very close so he could speak directly into my ear in low tones.  That fact that he wasn't whispering made it all the more erotic.  Sex voice.  Gravelly and low.  Like sandpaper.  It made me think of a cat's tongue.  But then that made me think of his tongue.  I blushed and looked away. 

He chuckled as he reached for an olive and leaned in close.  "Whatever are you thinking of, lassie?"

God, how could he be so damned calm?  I met his eyes.  "I'm wondering what watching this is doing to you."  I raised an eyebrow at him. 

"You need to ask?"  His tone was half amusement half masculine exasperation.  And the fact that he'd answered a question with a question told me how close to the edge he truly was. 

I smirked.  "Humor me."

He ignored my remark and leaned in closer, letting his words rasp across my ear in that smooth-rough voice that made my body tighten around his gift.  "Are you wet?"  He asked it casually, as if he were inquiring about the weather. 

I shuddered in response but managed to toss his words back at him.  "You need to ask?"

The corner of his lip turned up in amusement, but that was his only reaction to my teasing.  He simply continued to speak.  "Can you feel it?"  He put his mouth directly to my ear and all but growled.  "Like my fingers... but not my fingers."

A shudder went through me at his words and I nodded.  "Yes."  He took a sip of wine, turning his head so I could have his ear.  "Of course I can... more from the fact you're watching me than from anything else... that fires my blood hotter than any......gift."  I blushed when I said it but I wanted him to know what he was doing to me. 

He let me see the dark fire flare in his eyes at my soft admission.  "Do your walls tighten round it?"  God, his touch removed.  That was exactly what I was feeling.  I nodded again even as my body fluttered around it.  His voice got lower.  "Imagine what I will do to you.  Sit still and think of the night to come."  My eyes were wide and dark and under the table, I pressed my legs together hard.  My blood was roaring in my ears.  "Imagine it, love... my tongue... My fingers too..."

"God..."  I was unable to hold in the breathy curse.  "Terry... if you don't stop I'm going to come right here."  Right here at the table surrounded by all the other couples, the lights, the music and the dancing...

He didn't even falter.  "Flickering round your hot little nub..."  He pulled back minutely and gave me an appraising look.  "You are grinding against the chair."  I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to fight my body's instinctive urge to move.  "Don't let it slip out."  A stern warning from him and a soft gasp from me.  "When I take you... I want you wide open.  I won't go slow this time.  One thrust.  I want you to take all of me."  My body contracted sharply at his words and I barely managed to swallow my moan of pleasure.      

I felt him take the wineglass from my fingers, no doubt because he thought I would either spill it or break the delicate stem, and he twined the fingers of his right hand together with my left, still brushing the back of my shoulder with his other hand.  He shifted slightly.  It was a movement that pulled me into him and drew us both further into the shadows.  I wasn't going to be able to keep quiet or still much longer.  Not now.  Not like this.  Not with him fucking me with his voice, too. 

He chuckled darkly into my hair as I rocked slightly in the seat.  I felt my body accept more of his gift as his words aroused me, opened me up to him... to it.  "Are you fucking it and thinking of me?"  Not trusting my voice, I held his eyes and nodded, trying to tell him how much I wanted him.  How wild I was for him in that moment.  The green fire in his eyes burned hotter.  "Jerk on it, Heather." 

Oh God, that voice....  He'd told me he wanted to torment me and now he was.  The soft, loose touch of his hand on mine was a direct contrast the commanding touch of his voice.  The alcove was small and dark.  He shifted his body again so that his broad back and wide shoulders blocked me in, making our dark curtained nook feel even more private and giving me both his protection and his consent.  The heat between us flared wildly as he watched me follow his command.  Rocking.  Rocking... 

I wondered if he was going to touch me.  It was dark and the tablecloth was long.  He could and nobody would ever know.  Would he reach up under my skirt and fuck me with it right here?  Was I too far inside my own pleasure to stop him if he tried?  Did I even want to?  He never once looked away from my face.  "I'm not going to touch you.  I just want to watch you writhe for me, love."  He swallowed hard but made no move to come closer.  "Do you know how hard your nipples are?" 

I whimpered.  They were so hard they ached and if he didn't stop talking to me in that whiskey voice, I was going to come. 

He kept going.  "Mmmm... people might see...."  They wouldn't.  He'd already taken care of that.  He knew it.  I knew it... but by then I'd stopped caring.  He'd made me forget about everything but the feeling between my legs and how much I wanted to come for him.  "That's it....ride it, love."  I whimpered again and felt my whole body tremble.  There was no use fighting it.  He knew my body too intimately.  He knew just how close I was.  He leaned in further until all I could smell was his body and he spoke in my ear, low and rough.  Two words.  One order.  "Come, Heather."

I did.  My slow grinding in the seat culminated in a sharp jerk that forced his gift exquisitely high.  I bit my lip and came hard, pressing my legs together as the waves broke and swirled outward from my center.  Some faraway part of me was aware he was observing every nuance of my response to him.  My every shudder, every gasp, the way the intense pleasure made my eyes glitter wetly, the sudden rush of heat to my face that I felt travel down my neck to suffuse my breasts with soft color.  Anyone who looked upon me in that moment would know I'd just come.

Flushed and trembling, I pressed a hand to my middle as if it could hold in all the feelings.  Blood roared in my ears and my breathing was erratic.  The carnal light in his eyes was dangerously bright as he leaned back and pulled me tightly against him, as much to shelter me as it was to feel me ride out the last of it.  "Good girl."  His hand shook slightly as he reached for his wine and took a large swallow.  He ate the fleshy heart of a pitted, honeyed plum while he waited for my breathing to even out. 

As if he could read my mind, he moved my water glass back within reach and waited until I had it at my lips before he looked away and spoke again.  "Is it still in place?"  He chuckled like an indulgent papa when I choked on the small sip I'd taken.  He didn't fool me.  Pressed as closely to his side as I was, I could feel the tension in his big body.  He was riding the edge of something wild tonight and I wondered what would happen if it got out of control. 

In a place like this, probably more than I could imagine.  I'd never have come in here alone.  Not ever.  I didn't even know places like this existed outside of books and movies.  Places that catered to the every prurient whim of men who had the kind of money Terry did.  His eyes fixed me with a piercing stare.  "I want to know if it's still in place, love."  His voice was soft but the tone said 'answer me now'.

"Yes."  He smiled at my quiet answer.  My legs were clamped together.  It was still deep inside me and as I came down off my high, I could feel it press deeper still as my body softened and throbbed rhythmically in the wake of my release.  

"Good."  He nodded curtly and ran a finger possessively down my neck.  "Keep it there until I take you."  Oh God!  His simple words had me aching for him again already... and from the look on his face, he damn well knew it.  "Tonight I don't want virgin tight."  He touched my neck again, lingering over my necklace with an unreadable look on his face as he stroked the tender skin of my throat with the rough pad of his thumb.   

I swallowed hard.  "Tell me what you do want then."  I tried to hide my face in his neck but he was having none of it.  He moved his mouth to my ear, just as any couple having an intimate conversation might....only I'd never had a mealtime conversation like this.

His eyes scanned the room briefly and then he moved in close and licked my neck, still not speaking in a whisper but not speaking loud enough for his voice to carry beyond my ears.  "I want to ram myself into you.  Straight in.  From the back."  He paused to take a sip of wine.  "And I want you wet enough and loose enough to take all of me.  Bend you over a table," his eyes glittered wildly as he made a subtle gesture towards my lap, "pull that out and follow it in."

Over a table?  There was something in the way he said it and in the way he was looking at me that sent an erotic shiver running down my spine.  I drew in a sharp breath as I watched his large hand press flat to the tabletop and stroke it with his thumb.  My God, surely he didn't mean this table.  I knew he could, though... knew it when he brought me here - knew when I agreed to come to this place that it was a possibility....I just never thought he would. 

I waved my hand at the room.  "Do you want all of them to see?"  The thought terrified me as much as it turned me on.  I knew my eyes had to be huge.  My heart was beating very fast.  "Do you really want them all to see you take me?"  It seemed a very animal thing... animal and taboo, and yet something was happening between us, something that had me half a heartbeat away from agreeing to it.    

His eyes glittered wildly, daring me.  "Yes."      

Silence stretched between us while we simply looked at each other.  A minute.  Two.  Our eyes locked.  "Do it."  I couldn't believe I'd said it.  I couldn't tell if I'd shocked him or if he'd known all along I couldn't say no to him.  For a handful of heartbeats neither of us moved.  I felt something switch over inside me, something that brought me to the place where he was.  Something wild and primal.  "Do it, Charlie...."  

My words were unnecessary.  He was already moving, pulling me up from my chair and stepping behind me in one smooth motion, his hands at his zipper, pushing it down even as he reached up under my skirt.  He stroked his thick fingers along the slippery folds of my sex and deftly extracted his gift.  I groaned as it slid from me in a wet rush.  "Take this."  He pushed it into my hand, closed my fingers around it and raised it to my mouth.  "Wanna watch you suck it while I fuck you."  A wave of heat rolled though me and I swayed as my knees went soft.  He held me easily and urged me to lick the tip, to taste myself for him. 

As I did, I felt him push my skirt up and reach between our bodies to grasp his cock.  He pushed my legs wide and shoved in deep without even stopping to slick himself.  It didn't matter.  I was more than ready, just like he wanted, and he grunted at my easy acceptance of his generous endowment.  So different from how it usually is with us, where he has to work hard to get me to take him like that.  I felt so full, so out of control.  As he promised, he didn't go slow and he didn't give me any time to adjust before he started moving.  I moaned around his gift as he fucked me, his breath coming in harsh pants against my cheek.

"You're so wet and loose...."  He nipped my neck and grabbed my hips hard as he started a brutal rhythm.  "I can smell you everywhere...."  I gasped at the force of his thrusts; he'd never been this uninhibited, this free with me before.  The dildo fell forgotten to the table, knocking over the water goblet with a glassy tinkle.  Neither of us cared. 

He adjusted his hold on me and shifted me so he could go deeper still.  I was grunting softly with the force of his thrusts but I gasped out to him that I wanted him to move how he wanted.  I wanted to make him wild, to be everything he needed me to be in that moment.

"Hard."  He rasped the word against my throat, nuzzling my neck with his face.  We were both sweaty and panting heavily.  "Bang against your cervix."  Words just for me, growled into the shell of my ear as his body mimicked his thoughts before he'd even finished speaking them.  Sparks shot through my groin every time he slammed himself home.  He lifted his mouth from my shoulder.  "People are watching."  Sex voice again.  His hand tightened on my hips.  "How does that make you feel?"  His rhythm never faltered. 

I experienced a hundred emotions in that one moment, but he knew how it made me feel.  He could feel me beginning to flutter around him, little eddies of heat heralding the fire to come.  "I like them all to see what you do to me....to see that I'm yours."  His grip tightened further at my words, became more possessive still.

"I won't let them touch you..."  I knew he wouldn't and I told him so.  He's strong enough to keep them all away.  None of them could best him.  I was safe and I knew it.  I'd have never done anything like this otherwise.  His mouth was back at my ear.  "...but they are affected."  I felt a wild thrill at his words; a feeling that flashed into flames as he nudged my cheek with his, wanting me to see.  He was whispering again.  "See them?"  His breath hitched as he rocked into me again and again.  "...Men stroking themselves... women touching themselves....all standing round, turned on by you."

"Not by me... by how you make me feel," I panted out to him.  It was erotic watching them but they all paled in comparison to the man who was holding me in his arms and rutting into me with savage intensity.

Our movements became more wild and unrestrained.  "Sex is in the air."  He was right.  It was.  I could smell it, smell him... smell us.  My eyes fluttered shut.  I felt his fingers in my hair and at my throat, felt his breath hot on my cheek as he whispered to me they'd taken his gift... that they were touching it, tasting it.  His words barely registered.  The world outside the circle of his arms was falling away with every thrust of his hips.

He didn't let me pass within.  Instead he forced me to stay in the moment with him, to glory in it as he was.  His mouth was back by my ear, panting and licking at me as he spoke.  "What do you want them to do?  Watch you or have each other?  Do you want to have caused that?"  He kissed and sucked at my neck between questions, forcing a response from me with his body as much as with his words.

In the safe harbor of his arms, it was easy to answer truthfully.  "I want them to have each other."  Oddly enough, it didn't seem sordid.  It seemed powerful.  Beautiful.  Our feelings for each other expressed in a way that caused real, visceral reactions in other people.  "I want them to feel the things you make me feel."  He moved forcefully, primally, keeping me hovering right at the edge but refusing to let me get ahead of him. 

He nuzzled his face into the dark fall of my hair.  "Every kind of sex happening around you..."  He described it to me in erotic detail as he brought us both higher.  He held me tightly, keeping me suspended at the crest of the wave.  "Are you afraid?" 

"N- No..."  I shook my head.  I didn't feel afraid or humiliated.  I whispered to him that I felt empowered.  That I felt feminine.  That I felt safe under his protection.  His hands slipped down my body.  I don't even remember losing my dress but his hands were skimming over my bare flesh, stopping to knead and caress wherever he wanted.  "You're here, Charlie....I'm not afraid.  I'm never afraid with you."  With a masculine growl of approval, he slipped his hand to where we were joined, thrust deep and the world spun away in a swirl of exquisite pleasure. 

When I came back to myself, I could hear him crooning in my ear.  "That's it, love... I've got you.  They cannot even see your nakedness... I am covering you....they'll see only if you wish to show yourself to them..."  He was giving me the choice but I knew he wanted them to see.  To show them what he could make me do, what we did together, to show them I was his in the most elemental way possible.  I nodded to him.

His thrusts were gaining in intensity, becoming erratic.  He was so close, growling in my ear that he wanted to come in me, strong and powerful.  That he wanted to pull away and watch the others with his cock still hard and dripping with us.  That he wanted them to see our mixed fluids dripping from between my parted legs. 

So close.  He just needed a little more.  I talked him to his coming, just as he had done to me earlier.  Told him how I wanted to kneel before him, in front of them all, and take him into my mouth.  That I wanted to feel his hands in my hair as I sucked him; to clean him with my mouth so they could all see how much I loved to love him.                                       

"God!"  He came with a hoarse grunt, pressing his face against the back of my neck as his body pulsed, filling me with his most precious gift.  Anointing us both.  An elemental joining of man and woman.  Union.  Fusion.

It felt different than it ever had before, more....primitive.  What is usually a private expression of our most tender feelings became something different when witnessed by the others, like some primeval ritual. 

Still buried deep inside, he held me to him, tenderly kissing my neck as his breathing slowed.  Soothing me.  Reassuring me.  "It's alright, lassie.  I won't let them touch you... but they can see what we've done."  He held me tighter, wrapping his thick arms around me protectively.  Possessively.  "Touch us."  I slipped my hand down my belly to where we were still joined.  He nuzzled my cheek gently and let me feel his slow withdrawal, slick and warm. 

He growled his approval to me as I brought my wet fingers to my mouth and tasted us together.  "You are like a goddess."  He breathed the words reverently into my ear.  Stroking my throat first with his fingers and then with his lips he urged me to touch myself again.  He whispered something in my ear about a pagan ritual.  "Yes, that's it... Now offer it to the others from your fingers....."

I turned in his arms and met his eyes.  "It's not my gift to give them, Charlie."  He let me bury my face in his throat and held me tighter as our imagined world shimmered and disappeared around us, leaving just the two of us alone in a hotel suite, standing sweaty and disheveled by the table.  I held him tighter and sighed into his neck.  "I feel so safe with you."

I heard the smile in his voice.  "And I feel powerful and sheltered by you."  He tilted my chin up and kissed me softly, caressing me gently with his hands.

"You are powerful.  A man in the prime of his life."  I cupped his face in my hands and stoked it gently, enjoying the rasp of his stubble against my palms.  "Potent, virile...  scary as fuck when provoked."  I giggled quietly at that last bit....a silly joke between us, but also an absolute truth with this man.

He chuffed in amusement and tucked my hair behind my ears, running his fingers down my face and neck, over my breasts and down my belly to the curve of my hips, finally coming to rest in the small of my back so he could pull me into him.  "And you are a beautiful woman, lush and ripe."

Picking up a dish from the table, he moved to one of the deep chairs in the lounge and settled me in his lap as he set the dish on the small table beside us.  I curled into his chest, sleepy and content to do nothing more than let him hold me.  He covered me with a light throw and relaxed under me as I snuggled deeper into his embrace. 

He picked up a piece of sugared fruit from the bowl and bit it, chewing thoughtfully.  "That was a birth fantasy... you know that?" 

"It was?"      

His wide chest rumbled under my cheek as he laughed quietly.  "Yeah... it was about life and community and its expression sexually."     

How could his brain even work right now?  Mine was complete mush.  "You're right.  Wow.  I didn't realize that.  I mean... it felt different to me than we usually are."  I blushed at that and felt his chest rumble again.  "I just didn't connect all the dots, I guess."  Well, that and I'd gotten something else from it as well.  He was just as unrestrained with me tonight as he'd been playing at the Black Prince in his office.  Only this time he hadn't stopped.

"In our fantasy, I didn't want any other men near you."  He paused and smirked.  "And you didn't want any other women near me."  I snorted and swatted his arm.  God, he is so adorably cocky.  "We wanted to encourage their sexuality and celebrate our sex." 

I wasn't sure if he was so much talking to me as he was thinking aloud.  A comfortable silence fell between us that I broke a few minutes later.  "You know, you were different than usual, too.  More dominant with me and also more inclined to take the lead, although you still asked what I wanted."

"I didn't realize."  He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

I twined my fingers with his.  "Different from the last time we discussed a base fantasy, too.  You weren't as tentative with me," I offered softly.  And he didn't panic and shut down, either.  I didn't say it, but I know he heard it. 

He held me tighter.  "This was different.  I felt no fear... only elation.  Like an animal rutting."  I could tell he was grinning as he said that last bit.  God, if he was an animal, he'd be napping in the sun right about now like a lazy lion. 

"That other time, that was like an animal, too... but it was different.  Darker."  I wondered what it meant that he felt safe enough with me to lead me to such a place. 

"Our psyches are strange creatures."  His fingers played lightly in my hair, stopping from time to time to stroke it back from my face.    

"True."  Tonight I hadn't met up with the Dark Knight, but the man I did spend time with was motivated by the same base drives.  They had just been expressed differently this time.  In a healthy way... not- not like before.  I wondered if he made that connection.  I didn't mention it directly.  I never do with things like that.  Mostly I just like to get him thinking.  If he wants to talk about it, he usually comes to me later, after he's had a chance to wrap his head around it.  I played idly with his fingers.  "Still, I think it's interesting you were willing to take me there with less trepidation than usual."  Did it have to do with the new level we were seeking with each other?  Or something else?

He was silent while he thought that over.  "Why would you go there with me... to be taken naked in that way before a crowd of people?"  There was no censure in his voice, just curiosity. 

Good question.  I opened and closed my mouth several times before I finally settled on an answer.  "I think because I feel safe with you.  It's just a fantasy.  I'd never do anything even remotely like that in reality....but here, tonight... I just liked the way it felt to have the others see me as yours, I guess.  Your woman, if only for that one moment."  Only that single moment, though... because the truth was I didn't really want to be anyone's woman but Lachlan's.     

He turned that over in his mind while he ate another bite of fruit from the dish.  Apples.  How appropriate.  Figures he wouldn't wait for 'Eve' to hand him one.  I swallowed a smile.  "But it must be a place you wish to go in your fantasy....you showed no hesitation."

Subconsciously, maybe not.  I was certainly feeling some now, though.  How to answer that question?  This conversation was getting a little too close to a fantasy I had that I wasn't really ready to share with him.  Still, I answered his question honestly.  Maybe even more honestly than he realized.  "I guess it just feels good to drop the shackles of what is 'right' and 'proper' with someone I know won't hurt me..."  I turned in his arms so I could look into his eyes.  "...or won't allow me to be hurt." 

He held my gaze and gave my fingers a squeeze.  "There is no right or proper between us, lassie."

I felt a great upwelling of emotion inside me, just this feeling of... rightness at his words.  Here I was thinking what we had was sort of indefinable and he'd gone and done it just like that.  My eyes filled.  "Oh, Charlie..."

"Hey, none of that now."  He brushed my tears away with his thumbs but when he kissed me, it was with every bit as much emotion as I was feeling in that moment.  We drew apart and he touched me softly.  "You alright?" 

I nodded and tucked my head back under his chin, snuggling into him in that easy way we have.  We stayed there a little while until reality began to intrude.  I was starting to fall asleep and he was shifting a little under me.  He hadn't even undressed.  All that sweat cooling on his skin?  I imagine what had felt pretty damn good half an hour ago was probably feeling a little cold and uncomfortable now.  He chuckled quietly.  "I need a shower." 

I did as well but I was too tired.  "I need a nap," I mumbled into his shoulder.  With a soft sigh and a smile, he carried me into the bathroom and gave us both a quick wash.  A brief root through the bag I'd brought turned up my favorite pair of soft cotton pajamas.  We hadn't planned on staying but I'd brought my overnight bag anyway.  He'd brought his too. 

He raised his eyebrow at me and smirked as he pulled them out of my bag.  "Frogs?"

"Shut up!"  So my pajamas were white with cute little green frogs.  I didn't think anyone but Lach was going to see them.  I'm all for sleeping naked... but not in the middle of winter in England, for God's sake.

He was still chuckling as he slipped into bed beside me.  He didn't seem tired, really, but it was apparent he wanted to hold me.  "I'll wake you up in a bit, love.  I know you don't want to stay."  He smoothed the hair from my face and kissed me softly.  "I want to go home too."  Home.  The way he said that word made me smile. 

It seemed so strange to be able to talk like this.  Even though we'd just shared an intimate afternoon together, he wanted to go home.  Home to where his heart was.  To her.  And I wanted to spend the night wrapped in Lach's arms.  You'd think we'd feel some jealousy in that moment, but instead there was only this most extraordinary feeling of love.     

Drawing me close, he nuzzled my hair and returned to the conversation we'd been having in the shower.  We spoke quietly for a little while, in that twilight place just at the edge of sleep.  His words were so tender.  "And Heather?  If you ever offered me the chance.....I would be gentle."  He hugged me closer.  "Like waves upon a seashore....so soft, lassie."                    

I touched his chest, just over his heart and whispered to him.  "I know you would, Charlie.  The most tender touch." 

We spoke a little more, quiet words just for us and my gentle Dark Knight kissed the tears from the corners of my eyes and let me sleep, safe in the circle of his arms.