ROUND ONE

It had been a long time. Well, discounting the short three day visit he had made when the shit had hit the fan on the board and we all found ourselves reforming, it had been a long, long time. A month or more. A lot had happened. We had parted just coming off the Tecala trip and, in retrospect it had been a bad move. I had been curiously eager to get away but I suspect that was more from the presence of Dino than anything else. I wondered whether the portal had still been affecting us.

Others had spoken of a sense of anticlimax coming off the high of the portal. Was it the same case with Terry and me? Since then he had been with Dino and seen so many women that it made my head spin. I had a suspicion other things had happened too, that maybe he had let rip good and proper. Maybe he had needed it; Tecala had been a hell of a time for him and he deserved the opportunity for some good clean fun. If that's what it was.

And then there's me. I went back to UK and fucked for the Empire. Jeff, Jack and Hando and then last week Bud over here. What was all that about? Did I need to have a complete break from him? Did I still need some space? Was he feeling the same about me?

Don't know what's been wrong with me really recently. I'm not sure that I quite recovered from Hando's visit. He disturbed me and I have felt fragile ever since. I must have been affected - on the first night of Bud's visit, I asked him if he minded just sleeping with me. Can you imagine wasting that opportunity? Of course, he was a gentleman and of course my resolve only lasted about half an hour after dozing off and then waking up to find ourselves so far along the road that it was pointless to draw back. We both grinned and got stuck in. It helped to blow the cobwebs away for a while, but he knew something was wrong.

"Hey, baby, spill. You're not quite your usual frisky self. What gives?" Bud asked one evening as we watched TV. I was slumped on his lap and was playing with my hair; normally I would have found something more substantial of his to play with in that position.

I took a deep breath and rolled back to stare up at him. Bud smiled his crooked grin and waited.

"I don't know, Bud. I feel sort of...down. Depressed. Like an anticlimax."

He stroked my cheek; I leaned against his hand. His tenderness is so beguiling from a man as tough and uncompromising as he is.

"Maybe, you don't want me here?" Bud suggested. At that I shot up and wriggled onto his knee. "No! Not you. Oh, God, Bud, this is not about you! If you weren't here I think I'd go round the bend. No, you are just what I need. I'm just sorry that I can't be what you want me to be. I just don't seem to have the heart."

He took my face in his hands, ran his thumbs down and then took a gentle kiss. "You are what I want you to be. You. I happen to like your moods. Maybe I'm feeling a bit blue myself." Quite an admission from the Budster. I felt awful. I had really ignored how he might be feeling at the moment, being so damned wrapped up in myself.

"Got you own problems?"

He shrugged in that way of his that admitted I was right.

"I don't know what to say. I know you must find it hard to accept - but Jeff is a special bloke to all of the Sisters. I don't think the rest of the Men can understand that."

"How would you like to know your guy was blowing some other man for kicks?" Bud snapped.

I grinned. "Unlikely in Terry's case, but I get your point. I don't particularly relish the idea of him picking up women in bars either, but I reckon he has."

"Thorne? Been screwing around?" Bud asked.

I bit my lip. "I don't know. Just something he said. Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe I also don't like being part of a Mormon household."

Bud's head snapped up at that. "You and me both, baby." He pulled my head onto his chest and I sighed into his shoulder as I curled up on his lap. His hand ran through my hair and I opened a few buttons and slipped my fingers into his shirt to feel the warm strength of his chest. We had given each other ease.

 

*

 

Just then arrivals off the flight from LA began to disgorge. Returning to the present, I saw Terry, one of the first as usual, with only his carry on luggage and priority clearance. A little whimper escaped from me at the sight of him but it didn't calm the fluttering in my stomach; something wasn't quite right and I wish I could put my finger on it.

He walked towards me but did not appear to notice me at first; his eyes were blank. I jumped up and waved - he started slightly and I saw a slight frown cross his face before he smiled- it seemed forced.

"Terry? Don't you remember me?" I grinned.

"What did you do to your hair?" His words were rather snappish, lacking in patience.

"Fancied a change. Springtime. New beginnings," I trilled, false good humour turned on full blast. His initial words had completely deflated me. "Don't you like it?"

He looked at me with that searching gaze. "Not really," he replied, leaning forward and pecking my lips.

Great. I exhaled and counted to ten. Great start. Most sisters get a passionate interlude in the airport car park. I get a glancing kiss and criticism. I shoved my hands in my pockets and followed him out to the car park. He asked for the keys. I threw them over. He opened the boot, tossed in his carry on and lap top and yanked open the driver's door before getting in. I knocked on the passenger window. He released the button. I remember a time when he opened doors for me.

On the highway, I tried to begin a conversation. "Are you all right? You're a bit quiet."

"I'm tired. It's been crazy busy recently. I want to sleep."

"Maybe I should drive?"

He scoffed. "Are you joking? I've enough to worry about."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He looked across. "Nothing. I don't like to be driven. You know that. Traffic's mad here. I need to concentrate. Why are you so confrontational? You on?"

God, I hate it when they think we are hormonal just because we don't say what they want to hear.

"Terry, you are the one who started this."

"Started what? What have I done this time?" He changed lanes sharply and his foot floored the accelerator. We were travelling at very high speed and I didn't want to distract him, despite his obvious driving skills.

I said nothing and he continued to drive on in silence. We reached home and he raked through mail. Then he wandered off upstairs and I heard the shower. Shortly after I went up to see what he was doing and he was lying on the bed fast asleep, wrapped only in a towel. He must have been exhausted. I covered him with a throw over and flipped on the air-conditioner.

Back downstairs I checked the board and found myself looking though recent diaries. I felt a stab of jealousy. Why did they get Thorne the romantic stud and I get moody, grumpy, sleepy..? I smiled at my line of thought. Which of the seven Dwarves was he today? All the bloody lot rolled into one.

The Im was buzzing non stop. Seems all my Sisters want a word with....Terry. I am here, you know? But I don't mind being his unpaid receptionist. Much. I stuck a middle finger up at the computer. I know that's very rude of me - and I apologise most humbly- but the truth of the matter was- I was menstrual and pissed off. I can be very unreasonable at times like that to put it mildly. (So he was right- but for the wrong reason)

I decided to log off. My finger was on the mouse when another sister got on waxing about Terry's new found wealth and that I didn't need to worry about working. I was a kept  woman from now on. Kept in the lap of luxury. Lucky me! I hadn't a clue what she was talking about. No need to work? Would someone please fill me in? On she went about how wonderful he was and what an instinct he had for women and how lucky I was....I stood up, ran around the room and pulled at my hair.

My reply was less than gracious. "Look, St. Terry is asleep. Even superheroes get jetlag. But I will pass the message on. You are great. He is Mr. Wonderful. I am The Kept Woman. Did I get that right- I mean, I'm only a kept woman....messages are difficult for me..."

"Are you all right, Uma?" My beloved sister asked, sounding a little worried.

"Me? Alright? I have The Divine Oracle tucked up in my bed. How can I not be! I just want to go up and ask him if he has a good cure for period pains. He is so good with women's problems, isn't he? I have to dash. Talk soon!" And I got off.

That was unforgivable. I hate myself. It is not her fault. It is me. What must she think? But what was the matter with me?

No, what was the matter with him? I ground my teeth. I have to give him space. Be nice to him. Don't be unreasonable. Let him do what he likes when he likes, like a spoilt child, and then put up with his temper. That's what women are for, I forgot. Funny how that one never works the other way round, isn't it? I was really in a hell of a mood!

I logged off and went to the window staring out across the sea. Just then, Terry came padding down the stairs and crossed to the balcony. I felt his arms encircle me.

"I'm sorry about before. I was really whacked and I couldn't sleep on the plane. My mind was buzzing and I had some work to do," He nuzzled against my ear and tightened his grip on me; I could feel his breath hot against my neck and his magic beginning to cast its spell.

"S'okay. Let's start over. The whole world's been after you. They all want to know you are safe - you've got a few calls to return

"Unghhhh," He grunted as he sucked on my neck. "Let's go back up?"

I wriggled away as his hand ran between my legs. "No. You were right. I'm on. Sorry, it will be a day or two..."

"Fuck! Can't we just...come on... I'll run the shower..." Terry pulled me towards the stairs.

"I said no, Terry. I don't feel like it."

He sighed and dropped my hand. "Typical. You fuck half of the men in the Game, no problem. I come back and it's...sorry, honey, in a few days. Getting more like a real marriage everyday," he added tartly.

I blew. "What? I am surprised you haven't got a hernia after all the fucking you've been doing lately. I suggest you take a few days' rest, too And perhaps you'd have more success with me if you started to treat me like a woman and not the town bike. Why don't I get wined and dined, sexy talk, macho man moves? No, I get the 7 Dwarves and - come on upstairs and let's have a bit."

He blew. "I get home after a month on the road, fly half way around the bloody world, find you looking like a dyke and in a mood that would frighten a fucking Rottweiler. If I treat other women like women maybe it's because they treat me like a man and not some door mat to wipe their feet on."

My mouth dropped open.

"A dyke? What do you mean? I just had my hair cut!"

"Who the fuck put that idea in your head?"

"No one. I just did it when I got back. It's been so hot and I just got fed up of it round my face. I think it looks great."

"Well, I don't. And why blonde? You know I loved your hair. Did you do it just to annoy me?"

I know he loves my hair. I'm not sure why I did it except I felt like a complete change. I've worn it like that for years- you know how it is.

"I thought you preferred blondes," I muttered weakly.

"Blondes?" He answered as if he had never even met one.

"Yes, blondes. Like your ex- wife, Alice...and most of the fucking harem."

He bit on his lips and glared at me. "Whatever's bugging you, get over it, quick. I'm not in the mood for this shit. Oh, by the way, the tattoo. I cannot believe you let that bastard talk you into that. What is it? A swastika?"

"He didn't talk me into it. It was my decision- you read the diary."

"No, I did not. That is one trip I can do without."

"Then how d'you know about the tattoo?"

"Someone told me. She asked me what it meant. Of course, I didn't fucking know about it, did I? You know I dislike tattoos on women."

"Do you? You never said that to me."

"Well, I do."

"Get it removed."

"NO!"

"I have had enough of your nonsense. Where is it? On your butt? Make you sure you keep it hidden then. You do enough to embarrass me as it is."

"You shit! When have I ever done that to you? I put up with everything that happened in Tecala - pulled you out by the skin of your teeth, gave you free rein to start your shop, have playtime with the girls and you come back like Mr Hyde."

He began pacing up and down. I knew he was losing it. "You let me start my shop? You let me see the Sisters? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I give permission. I'm your number One."

"Fuck you, mate," and he ran down the steps, yanked opened the front door and slammed it behind him.

Round One. No points to either of us

 

 

ROUND TWO

"I'm sorry."

"So am I."

"I didn't mean it."

"Me neither."

He had returned later that day and we stood facing each other. He held out his arms and I slipped into them, feeling them close about me and shut out the demons that had raged this morning. He murmured and rocked me gently; I closed my eyes and imagined none of it had been said.

"I'm sorry about my hair. I didn't think you would hate it so much." He ran his hand through the short blonde curls.

"I don't. Leastways, I wouldn't if I saw you and didn't know you. I would still give you a good once over," he smiled. "But I love you and I loved your hair as it was. I'm a traditional kind of bloke. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Know what I mean, love?"

I nodded. "It will grow. I can dye it back. Do I really look like a dyke?"

He grinned and pulled away to look at me, his lips pursed and head tilted to one side. "No. You look amazing. Like you always do," he gave a boyish shrug, as though he had said something he was embarrassed about and I adored him some more. I jumped up and swung off his neck, he grabbed my butt and I straddled him. We kissed. The kiss I should have had this morning. "Let's begin again," I murmured.

"Fancy that shower?" He whispered in my ear.

No need to ask me twice. We showered. It was intimate. I am keeping the door closed this time. I wandered out of the bathroom after a repair job that I had chased him out for; he was lying on the bed, naked and back to his usual confident poise. He watched me reaching for some underwear and a sarong to wrap around me.

"Hey, so what is it? The tattoo? Is it ancient Greek or something?" I slipped on my panties and a T- shirt and ran over to the bed. He leant over and pushed away the satin to have a better look.

"Not Greek. You should know the alphabet- you speak Russian."

"Yeah right, but I thought it was a Phi."

"Do you need glasses?" I giggled. He gave me a look. This man has sight an eagle would be grateful for.

"So, what is it then?"

"A rune."

"Magic? He snorted at the unlikely idea of me dabbling in magic.

I laughed. "No! I don't go for that, you know me. I'm too bloody cynical for any belief system, traditional or new age. No, it's an Anglo- Saxon rune. The missing letter we should have in English. The only sound we cannot make. I never know why they dropped it. They must have still been using it quite late, hence the misunderstood signs of Ye Old ..."

"Shut up, Uma. What does it fucking mean? You're rambling again."

"You sounded like Hando then."

He blew out air slowly. Bad comparison, Uma - but dead on.

"TH. Like theta in Greek but the name of the letter is thorn. The letter thorn."

He stopped and said nothing, just stared from the elegant script to my face.

"What? You tattooed your arse with my name? Why?"

I giggled nervously. "It seemed like a secret joke. Just you and I would know. A symbol of what you mean to me."

"Symbol? Why not put a ring through your nose and I'll get a rope? What are you trying to say? Do you think you need to remind me who belongs to whom? What should I tattoo on my butt? Umae? Warn off the others if they get too close?"

He was spot on with his grammar. It was the possessive ending. It means 'Uma's'.

"That's not what I meant. I don't know. It was a spur of the moment thing. I was thinking about what I believed in when I looked at Hando's body. I thought 'How can you commit anything to your body - you might change and then you would be stuck with it forever. What would I never change my mind about?' And then I thought - you. You are the only thing in my life that I will always love. That I would be prepared to die for."

I did not expect his response. He winced and glared at me with that intense controlled anger that he has, that smoulders and is more dangerous than his temper. "Do you ever think anything through to its logical conclusion? Uma, we are not a real couple. However much we play at it, we have an open relationship and we have other men and women in our lives. Symbols like that are unhelpful and alienating. That's what caused the trouble before. What are you trying to stir up now?"

His words stunned me. "But you said...in Tecala, you said...you always said...what do you mean? Are you seriously worried that it might offend your 'other' wives? Get real. They love other men. They don't love you. Not like I do. Why are you saying that?"

He exhaled out slowly. "I don't want to hurt you. But one day things may change. This game is constantly in flux. How could you be so permanent, Uma? This is about now. Things have already changed. Can't you see? We share each other and we love more than one person. That's all I meant."

"Love? I don't love more than one person. I never said I loved anyone but you. I do notice that you use the term more freely than I do, though. But I thought it was just love talk: the things a man says when he's getting laid. Have I missed something?"

Terry rolled over and began to dress. I recognised the set of his shoulders. He wasn't going to talk. "You read the fucking diaries. Start understanding them. And I would never talk a woman into bed by lying to her. You're the one who plays the game of 'let me be what you want me to be'. Not with me, though. No, I get the full pleasure of your real personality every time."

I wrapped a sarong around my waist and sank onto the bed. Terry stood by the door, a shirt slung round his arms but unbuttoned, his pants half fastened. He knew he had gone too far but he didn't take it back. He walked out and went to the family room; I heard him snap on CNN. I curled up on the bed and switched off the lamp. I suddenly felt very sick.

 

 

ROUND THREE

I spent the next morning on a group chat with the girls. It was mayhem. All the men showed up at one time or another. Terry kept reading over my shoulder and making comments until I picked up my makeup case and blobbed him with it. Unfortunately I caught him over the eye where his scar is and he made such a song and dance about it. I thought he was a tough guy. Finally I stormed off and let him complain about me to the others. He looked like he got plenty of cooing and sympathy. You would have thought that I had hit him with a baseball bat or something. Not that I didn't think of it, though. I just don't have one.

But after talking to Bud, Cort and Jack (and doing my best to ignore Maximus, who is seriously pissing me off at the moment) I promised that I would try again with Terry. They had a point and he deserved a bit more patience from me. So I signed off and ran upstairs where he was still in the TV room.

I stood at the door and observed him. He was sitting in an armchair, head resting in his hand, flicking through a magazine and listening to the news. There were a couple of empty cans of Tiger at his feet. I slipped over and onto his knee; he pulled me against his shoulder and we held each other in silence.

"Sorry."

"Me too."

"We keep saying that."

"I know. Maybe we mean it this time?"

I sat up and stroked his hair. He did look tired. I was so unreasonable with him. If any of the other Brothers had turned up and looked exhausted, I would have pampered them and seen to their every need. We were both as bad as each other. Just comfortable enough to let the other see the real us. I should see that as a mark of his affection not a rod to beat him with.

"How's this new company? Frankly Terry, I don't know much about it. Everyone is going on about it all the time but I think I'm a bit out of the loop."

He smiled. "Yeah, I suppose you are. We've set up offices in New York and San Francisco. I want to look at London next week. Clients are coming in and we have a healthy bank balance. Dino did it- went back, bought the stock, made the ultimate killing. Fucking millions."

"Is it really 300 million dollars?"

"Somewhere around that. Spilt three ways."

"Three ways?"

"Me, Dino and Perve World."

"Jesus." I whistled. "Terry, why open a shop then? We've got more money than we can spend in ten lifetimes. Why do you want to go back to that career again?"

He paused and chewed on his lip. We were going to get serious.

"Get it right this time. It takes serious money to set up a firm like ours. The initial outlay is high but more importantly we can now take on really deserving cases. Ex gratia stuff. Some paying clients, naturally, or we won't run with the big boys but the emphasis to be on humanitarian work. I've had a bellyful of corporate attitudes. This way we can still live the high life and not feel guilty that we are ripping people off."

I weighed up what he had said. It made sense; it was an honourable mission statement. 

"Can't you just chip in when you hear of something that needs doing? Why make it a real business with nine to five - God knows, in your business nine to five would be a holiday."

He shook his head. "It doesn't work like that. You have to be up there to get a profile where governments and agencies will trust you enough to let you in. Uma, I know the business, trust me."

Trust him? Was there any other man in the world who I would trust as much as him? "It just seems such a shame that we will be apart so much. I'm going to be so lonely without you." I lay on his chest and cuddled up.

He cleared his throat. "It doesn't have to be like that. I'm a very rich man now. You can have anything you like. Now I can take care of you properly. You never need to work a day in your life again."

I don't think I was really listening to what was behind his words. As usual I was only hearing what I wanted to hear. "I like working. I can't do nothing. Someone made a comment about my being a kept woman. It feels weird. Also a bit unfair. Why should I get more than the others? Maybe we should do some complicated pro-rata thing, get Nash to work out an equation?"

He laughed and ruffled up my hair. "No. They have enough. Dino and I will put a fair whack of ours in the business and invest the rest. We'll set up trust funds for the sisters and brothers. I'll get some financial advice. You get your share but as you live with me...I reckon you will probably never need to touch it," he grinned. "At least I won't have to grit my teeth when I open my credit card bill after you've taken me shopping."

I frowned a little. I wasn't sure I was completely comfortable with all of this. It felt like I was somehow different from everyone else. Would that become an alienating factor? But we had argued enough for one day. I put it out of my mind and swallowed down my objections. They seemed pretty mealy-mouthed anyway.

"Hey, get your glad rags on- seeing as we're on a sexual go-slow, let's go celebrate in town. Dinner and dancing? How's that sound?"

It sounded fine. A couple of hours later found us on the patio annexe of  'Thirty Two' a restaurant set in a restored old mansion with its own private beach. It was famous for 'fusion' cooking and a great jazz band that performed in the elegant atrium bar. The sounds of traditional jazz were oozing over to us in harmony with the gentle splash of the waves on the beach a few steps away. Our table was set under a trellis of bougainvillea. You want tropical paradise and ultra- romantic setting? We had it. Let's see if we could use it this time, hey?

A sumptuous but delicate meal, great bottle of red, couple of cognacs later and we were loose and easy, moving on the marble dance floor to an old cheesie sixties song. I smiled. Shirley Bassey. My Dad used to love her stuff. I listened to the words as he swung me round gently and murmured sweet nothings into my ear. He was out of it, in that state he gets into when he completely chills and forgets he's supposed to be the man in control and becomes the helpless romantic. I let him relax and hummed along with the singer.

 

 

He pulled away and kissed me in the middle of the dance floor and I think the world did stop turning. Nothing or no one else existed for me. I didn't know then how strangely prophetic the lyrics would turn out to be.

 

 

ROUND FOUR

We walked along the beach together the next afternoon after a beautiful Easter Sunday lunch of seafood and chilled Chablis in an elegant retro restaurant in the restored "Lone Pine", a boutique hotel which overlooks the best beach on the island. It was a fascinating place in its Twenties colonial grandeur and reminded me of settings from stories such as the 'Happy Valley set' in 50s Kenya or the pre-war India of 'Jewel in the Crown'. A quite perfect day.

It was hot (just for a change), burning hot, and we were not really dressed for the beach, I in a long voile dress of pale blue and white, fairly formal wear, suited to the elegant restaurant, and Terry in a pale cream linen suit with a white open -necked shirt - very Planter-like garb.

We passed holidaymakers in their scanty swimwear on the beach at Golden Sands, watched jet skis, paragliding and water-skiing as we strolled on. At Rasa Sayang we saw a wedding couple being married in a beach side gazebo, their European faces red with too much sun and heavy clothing on this stifling day, their eyes hopeful with love.

We stopped and smiled at the absurd spectacle of young love in such a setting. Terry took my fingers in his and raised them to his lips. I smiled and caught his eye but saw something unexpected there- he was not being entirely honest with me. I could see something brooding in his expression.

"Let's find some shade. We need to talk."

Sitting at a table underneath a towering raintree, we ordered a cold drink and surveyed each other.

"Go on, Tez, spit it out. What's on your mind?"

He rubbed his hand across his jaw and then began to pinch the scar over his right eye. I felt like smacking his hand away as you would do with a child. It is a very annoying habit he acquired in Tecala and hasn't seemed able to shake. His eyes drifted out to sea, staring into the brilliant green glare.

"We have to make some changes, Tink."

"Changes?" I asked, my radar already on alert.

"I've been thinking it out. Dino and I are setting up. He'll be mostly New York, commuting with San Francisco. I will base in London but I'll be back and forwards, occasionally in the field. It isn't gonna work."

I stared at him. "What isn't?"

"You and me- based here. I can't live here, love. I have to be where the clients are." He bit his lip.

"Terry, what's on your mind?"

"Look, I've had time to think." He settled forward in his chair and started to go into briefing mode. I was getting my orders. There is something about him when he does that that always makes me mad. I felt my hackles rising as he spelt out his vision for our future.

"We buy a place in London- or maybe even the States and just get an apartment in the City. You'd love California and you'd be near to the Temple. Easier for the other Brothers to visit when I'm away (Ha, I thought. Who holds the appointment book now?) Get a nice place, spend what you like on it, get it really nice..."

"That's two nices in one sentence," I observed tartly.

Terry rolled his eyes. "Don't start. Just don't fucking start."

"What about what I want?" I'll give him 'don't start'.

He groaned. "Here it comes."

"What do you mean 'Here it comes'? I have a point of view too, you know? I happen to like my home. I didn't ask you to set up shop. Dino did. Oh, of course, I forgot. He's your mate. I'm just your main squeeze."

Terry stared at me. "Do you ever actually listen to yourself? I have a career. I don't want to spend my life in a harem. Can't you see that? Is that what you want for me? You can write anywhere. Look, I'll give you anything you want, love. What's the problem?"

"Anything I want? Say I want a modicum of control over my own life? Some say in it? That I don't want to be your kept woman anymore than you want to be my lapdog? And while I'm on the subject (I was warming up now, as you can see) - how many of the sisters have you offered jobs? 'Cos you certainly haven't offered me one!"

He gaped incredulously at me. "You want a job?"

"No, not exactly, but that's not the point. You never even asked!"

"That's because I don't want you anywhere near my office."

I jumped up at that. "What!"

He jumped up too. People were beginning to listen. "It's a dangerous world and you live on a different planet. I don't want you anywhere near what I do for a living. I want you home safe so that I can come back and be sure of what is waiting for me..."

"How cosy! The little woman. You are such a bag of shit, Terry. I asked for you on my terms, not yours."

He laughed coldly. "You want me in your bed dancing to your tune but to have no say in your life?" His voice was raised and I heard repressed titters from the onlookers. I turned and raised a middle finger to them. "Get a life!"  Terry groaned at my comment. People pretended to look away. Then I launched myself back into the ring.

"Say? Dictate my life, you mean? You've got it all worked out - Mr. Logistics Expert. Me- cooking dinner at home, scantily clad and waiting to attend to your every need. You- playing Action Man all day with Dino. Little trips now and then to see your girlfriends for a bit of wild sex and erotic fantasy. Bloody heaven, hey- surprised they haven't promoted you to Major - recruitment would be way up with you in charge."

There was a sort of group intake of breath at that. Terry was too angry to drag me to a less public place so he just let rip where he was. Tourists were beginning to gather from the sand to watch the day's best beach entertainment. A couple of Japanese had their cameras out.

"Like you won't be seeing anyone? (I have to admit that Terry can sling mud with the best of them when I get him going.) Don't make me laugh! The front door will be on a swing as they come and go. I'll be working- you'll be fucking. Seems like you still get the best deal. And then there's the bachelor boy, Maximus..."

"Don't you dare throw Maximus in my face again! I haven't bloody seen him in months and I don't intend to. But I have the right - he is one of the Brothers! Unlike you- I like to keep it in the family!"

Terry bridled. "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?"

I walked towards him and danced about a bit. I was hopping mad. "OK. You asked for it. Picking up women in bars. God knows where you found a night off your other activities but I know you did. How could you do that? You are such a bastard."

"When? When did I do that? Prove it!" He squared his jaw belligerently but he didn't fool me. He was lying.

There was a burst of applause at that and I turned round and curtsied before continuing: 

"And may I remind you, you nearly killed me when you thought I'd been to dinner with Dino, never mind anything else. What's so different about you that you can't imagine others feel the same?"

"Dino is my mate- you don't fuck a guy's mate."

He had gone too far. I picked up my mango juice (God, did I wish it was peach!) and threw it in his face, stormed off, ran through the hotel and jumped a cab. He could go to Hell! I was staying in Paradise!

 

 

ROUND FIVE

He charged into the apartment like a bull in a ring.

"OK. So you made your point. You solve our little problem then! You tell me what the fuck we are going to do?" Terry stood in front of me, his hands on his hips while I lay on the couch and pretended to read the newspaper.

"Two choices. Leave things as they are or give up the job."

"Is that supposed to be a fucking solution? Either I never see you again or I turn my back on a career?  Is it impossible to strike for compromise rather than winner takes all?"

I flung the paper down. "Don't try to fucking negotiate with me. I'm not a kidnapper."

He put his hands on his head and grunted. "Uma! (he only calls me by my name when he's angry. He was angry.) We need to negotiate. You have to see I'm right. What do you want? Why can't you see the obvious?"

"Obvious? Dino says jump. You jump. Dino says group fuck. You fuck. That's what I can see that's obvious."

"That is crap."

"I wish he'd never come back."

"He's a mate, Uma. Men have friends. You are not the only thing in my life..." (bad move, Terry...no points so far in this little negotiation.)

"Oh, I know that, buster! I'm somewhere in a queue that runs like: The Job, Dino, the Sisters...whoops, sorry, Uma, can we take a rain check? I have to wine and dine a few women, screw a few in car parks, take them on fancy weekends...but I might have a couple of days free when I can pop home for a good sleep..."

"You are pushing me too far, Uma!" He was shouting. No, he was bellowing actually. I swear there was steam coming out of his nostrils. "None of that is true. You know what you mean to me. I love you!"

I sniffed. I had him on the bloody ropes now. "You told other women that you loved them."

"Is this what it's really all about? Is that what's sticking in your craw? That I might actually feel something for other women? Or are you the only one who is supposed to pick up lovers? Like you and Maximus? Or for that matter you and - Bud- Jack-Cort- Jeff- Nash - Arthur- even fucking Hando?"

"Stop shouting! I can hear you! Don't try and intimidate me by throwing your weight around..."

"Intimidate you? The ball-cruncher extraordinaire? Don't make me laugh, love. You'd fucking scare Tyson."

"Ha ha! Very funny! Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere near your balls."

"Yeah, I noticed, honey."

We glared. I went back to the Sunday papers and he paced up and down. He was full of nervous energy and I feared for the safety of some of my antiques. He was in a table- swiping mood. (No one has a tantrum quite like Terry when he blows. Even Hando- he would have just blobbed me one by now, not broken ornaments.)

Suddenly: "The issue is moving. I'm not fucking about anymore, Uma. Monday- call the landlord and give your notice. Get the packers in- you have a week to sort it out. I'll give you a hand and we are flying to London on the 28th. When we get there you can look for a place while I get the office sorted. We can rent for a while until we find what we want. For once in your life- do what you are bloody well told!"

I heard him out. "NO!"

"Uma- I'm warning you..."

I pulled a face. "Woo, I'm scared."

"So it's no. You are staying here?"

"Yes."

He chewed on his lip and he recommenced his pacing. I think he had run out of gambits. Then he spoke and his voice was quiet and muted. I should have recognised that he was a stage past temper and tantrum. We were hitting meltdown. "I'm not coming here again, Uma."

I shrugged. "Up to you. No one's forcing you."

"Uma- please, be reasonable!"

"Do what you say, you mean?"

He groaned.  "If I walk, I walk."

"So walk. You know where the door is. You nearly dragged it off by its hinges when you came in."

"Do you want me to leave?" He thundered.

I looked at him and he looked at me. Something hovered in the air between us as if all the background noise had hushed. Even the tiny insects and house lizards and birds and the chattering monkeys stopped to hear my answer. A myriad images hurtled across my mind of things that I really wanted to say but all that came out was:

 "Yes."

And so he packed, called a cab and left. I walked out with him. There was a stunned silence between us. Nothing left to say. As he turned to open the car door, I ventured a comment, half-desperate, half-mocking. "No goodbye kiss, then?"

Terry considered what I had said for a few seconds and then spoke without turning round. "I think not. The last thing I want from you is to leave you begging for more. I have had more than enough. I'll leave you to the rest of the poor bastards."

Throwing himself into the back seat, slamming the door, the car moved off and he was gone.

Easter. Bloody Easter. This Bloody joyful Eastertide. What did we do?

 

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