TERRY

I was surprised to see her.  Quite surprised, actually.  Heather was the last person I expected to see walking through my office door this arvo.  Although to be perfectly fair, it wasn't exactly outside the realm of possibilities.  She and Curry had stayed with us for a couple of days after he'd flown us back.  They were due to return to the States the day after tomorrow so it wasn't that I was surprised to see her in London.  I was just surprised to see her in my office.  She'd been sticking pretty close to Curry's side in that quiet way she has.    

The four of us had spent the last few days talking, larking about, just having fun... that sort of thing, but despite the shameless flirting and bawdy jokes, we did not play musical beds.  There was a distinct sense of us and them. Tink and I and her and Curry.  It was....comfortable.  Yes, I think that is the word that best describes it.  And for the first time in a long time, or maybe the first time ever, it felt like Curry and I were the ones with a firm handle on the intricacies of our relationships and the girls were the ones feeling their way in the dark.  A nice reversal from the usual where it's us being the proverbial bulls in the china shop and them navigating the minefield without so much as one wrong step.

I waved her in and closed my laptop.  Of course I trusted her, but it was safer for her if she didn't get a look at what I was working on.  Besides, I could do with a break.  I straightened in my chair and rubbed the kink from my neck as I smiled at her.

"C'mon in, love.  Welcome to my home away from home."  I watched as her eyes flicked over the room, taking in this private space of mine.  Black leather furnishings.  Minimal décor... Bit of an Asian flair, dark wood....lots of glass... touch of color here and there (Tink's insistence).  Small pinboard with an odd assortment of pictures and whatnot tacked to it.  Overall, uncluttered and uncomplicated.  Just how I like my life. 

She looked at the room.  I looked at her.  "You look nice, lassie."  Understatement.  She had on a clingy black sweater and a pretty floral skirt.  Nice cream wrap.  Looked like cashmere.  I felt my fingers twitch as I thought about touching it... and the shoulders it was wrapped around.  God, and the shoes... don't even get me started.  She had Tink stamped all over her, confirmed when I saw the shopping bags in her hand.  I recognized Choo, of course....as well as the name of that high-end place Tink goes for lingerie... the kind that looks like gossamer and you simply can't imagine how something that looks like a breath of air and lace can hold itself together, much less cling so invitingly to the female figure.

If Heather had a bag, Tink must also.  Lucky me.  And of course, there was the added bonus that this was hitting Curry's wallet not mine.  I could just imagine his face... until he saw whatever it was Heather had hidden away in that little blue bag.  Then I reckon what complaints he might have would fly right out the window, along with the rest of his sanity.  Least that's what happens when Tink does it to me.  Bloody sign away the farm at moments like that. 

She blushed at my compliment and gave me kiss as I took her wrap and her bags and set them in the chair by the door.  She smelled of lavender and woman.  I twirled a lock of her dark hair in my fingers and drank in the peace that clung to her.  "Had a good day?"

Her eyes were bright as she nodded.  "I went out with Uma and Lach....we hit a museum, went to lunch... did a bit of shopping."                  

I shuddered.  "Ahh, the museum...."  The girls together at the museum?  I can definitely see that.  Thank Christ.  Saves me from bloody having to go with her.  Curry, that poor bugger, forced to endure a museum crawl...  But better him than me!  I bet they could hardly drag themselves away.  No doubt that left little time to shop.  I chuckled.  "Well, that explains why you aren't lugging around all of London with you."   

Her eyes twinkled.  "Well, I might not be....but-" 

I touched my finger to her lips.  "Please, no 'buts', love.  Leave me my delusions a while longer."

"At least until the bill comes in, huh?"

"Too right."  I was just about to ask her what had brought her to my office this arvo but the phone rang.  "Sorry, I need to take that."

She nodded.  "Shall I wait outside?"

I shook my head as I headed back towards my desk and the phone.  "No, you're fine.  Been waiting on a call... some information...  Nothing you need to leave the room for though.  Why don't you make us a drink?  Bourbon?  Bar's back there..."  I waved her in the right direction and pointed to the phone.  "We can talk after.  I've got the rest of the afternoon free."  Or rather I would if this phone call went the way I was hoping it would.  With a smile, I picked up the phone.

"Thorne... right, mate.  Yeah?  We're good to go then.  Send it."  Dino filled me in on all the pertinent details while I had a good perve of Heather's backside as she poured our drinks.  Jesus, and those shoes... black stiletto heels with a slutty little strap at the ankle.  Oh man, that just sends me.  I was jarred from my dirty little thoughts when the fax machine came to life with an electric hum.  "Coming through now, Red... copy in email too?  Great... great... What?"  I chuckled, put my hand over the receiver and caught Heather's eye.  "He wants to know who's in my office, love.  Reckons I've been too polite to him- haven't gotten in my usual digs... now would I do that?"  Gave her my best good-boy look. 

She laughed quietly.  "Most definitely."  She brought me my drink, put her mouth next to mine by the receiver and grinned.  "Heya, Dino."  Drink in hand, she perched herself on the corner of my desk as I sat back in my chair, chuckling at the barrage of matey chatter that hello elicited, most of it completely unsuited to repeat in polite company.

I picked up my drink and took a sip, fixing my gaze on Heather.  "Dino says 'hi'."  She smiled but I was surprised when the voice in my ear jumped back into the business at hand rather than continuing to razz me.  Well, perhaps I should rephrase that.  It was mostly business... then he reminded me that Tink had invited him for a visit and gave me some crap about dancing shoes and Tink's cooking and then he was away.  Typical male conversation- lasted maybe three minutes and in that time we conducted our business, exchanged a few minor insults and confirmed his plans to visit in November.  Why can't women ever do that? 

I checked my watch, replaced the phone and then buzzed the front desk to inform my secretary that I didn't want to be disturbed as I gathered up the pages from the fax machine and slipped them into a folder before I turned my attention back to Heather.  She looked so sweet perched on my desk but I made no move to touch her.  Despite all our talks, I still had it in my head that her dream meant some part of her felt she must let me go, to assign me to her past so she could move forward with Curry. 

I didn't want to lose what I had found with her in Manila but I would set it aside if I had to.  This was a difficult time for me.  I'm a man who likes things cut and dry and trying to find my level again with her was not easy.  She'd given me no clues, which could mean anything with a woman like her.  She wasn't exactly prone to overt sexual displays.  Not even with Curry.  At least not in public anyway.  A flash of what I'd overheard on the plane played through my mind and I shifted in my chair, reminding myself she'd believed that to be a private moment.      

I cradled the glass in my palm and tried to read her.  Didn't get too much this time.  Her calm has the tendency to throw me off a little, almost like trying to read still water.  All it does is reflect my own face back at me.  I did pick up a few things though, bit of subtle flirtation, bit of nervousness.  "So, lassie, what brings you to my office?"

She took a sip of bourbon, scrunched up her nose a bit and then tilted her head at me, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.  "Do I have to have a reason?"

A laugh rumbled in chest.  "You know you don't.  Still, I can't help but notice you look like a woman with something on her mind." 

She stretched out her arm and touched my hand gently.  "I wanted to talk to you."

I studied my glass and repressed the desire to fidget with my eyebrow.  "We've been doing that for three days."  I was being deliberately obtuse, but part of me was afraid whatever new level we settled at wasn't going to be as intimate as I wanted and I could feel myself closing off to avoid being hurt in the event that-

"Terry..."  A touch of amused exasperation in her voice.  I also noticed her foot was absently rubbing against my calf.  I doubt she was even aware she was doing it but it settled something deep inside me.  That wasn't the body language of a woman who'd firmly assigned me to a place in her past, thank Christ.  I felt myself relax and sank back into the chair.  "I wanted to talk... just us, face to face.  I miss that."

"Me too."  We keep up fairly regularly both online and by phone, but it wasn't the same.  Cozy, intimate scenes from Manila replayed slowly in my mind's eye.  Quiet mornings in bed.  Silly talks out on the balcony.  Deep conversations over a bottle of wine.

"And there is something I wanted to talk to you about... you know, like this."  Like this.  I knew what she meant.  She wanted to be able to watch my eyes.  I wondered what was on her mind. 

I nodded but before she could begin, I got up and refilled our glasses.  Something told me I might need mine, and then I locked my office door before returning to my chair and giving her a smile.  "What's on your mind?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Dino."  Her fingers worried the glass cradled in her hands.  

"Dino?"  I took a sip, enjoying the smooth slow burn.  

"Yes, I wanted you to hear it from me first."  She took a deep breath but didn't break eye contact with me.  "I asked him if I could be on his list and he said yes."

"You did?  Well... I guess that's no surprise, hey?"  It wasn't, really.  We've always had the same taste in women, much to my eternal displeasure. 

She nodded.  "I seem to be collecting the old soldiers, huh?"

"Jeez- you got a fetish?"  Her joke and my reply.  Neither of us really laughed.  

"No, just a soft heart for those of you without someone to reel you in once in a while."

"Reel away."  I rubbed my face and then leaned forward intently.  "Look... you could do worse... Of course, you could do better too but my list is full."  Gave her a little smirk while I tried to wrap my head around this. 

Her gaze was unwavering but her voice was soft.  "I don't need a list with you.  That's different."

She's right.  It is.  "You don't, and that's a fact."  I cocked my head and this time I couldn't keep from fidgeting with my eyebrow.  OK, enough dancing around the issue.  "Are you asking my opinion or simply giving me a heads up?  Do you think this will be a problem for me?"

She sighed softly.  "Always the hard questions with you, Charlie."

I nodded, aware I was being unduly difficult.  I respected her all the more for her desire to tell me this way.  "Not fair of me, I know."  She'd told me this in good faith, her honest heart shining through as much as her desire to spare me hurt.  "I should be giving you some answers."  Owed them to her, in fact.   

I could tell she was turning my words over in her mind.  She took a breath, held it a moment and then let it out slowly.  "Well... honestly?  No, I didn't think it would be that hard for you."  Interesting.  And quite a telling comment on her perception of the strength of what we felt for each other.  Quite a correct one as well.  "But I did think you should hear it from me first."  She took my hand in hers.  "I know what Dino is to you and I feel a connection to him through you as well as one we share outside of you.....like... like family, I guess."  Honesty, delivered with such a care for my feelings.  I was moved to respond in kind. 

"Let me tell you something... it is hard for me.  But not because it's Dino or any Brother, but because I'm chauvinistic enough to not want anyone to have you but me."  A human response to such intense feeling.  And a very male one.  "But that's the man in me talking."

At my words, instead of smiling brilliantly like she'd just wrung some great confession from me, her look softened, became more gentle.  "I like the man in you."

I felt a rush of pleasure at her simple words.  "The other part of me says you've chosen a good man who cares for you.  I think that makes me feel good too." 

She squeezed my hand.  "I'm glad it does.  Glad you feel both of those things, Terry." 

"Well... if I were honest, I would admit to both... but I can't see myself saying that to Red."  Not unless one of us was fucking dying.

Such a serious look on her face now.  "I like feeling that you want me to be just yours, that touches me deeply, but I'm glad your heart is big enough to see Dino looked after too."

I looked away, focusing on the glass sculpture Tink had given me.  "I worry about him, you know?"  I might be able to share some pretty deep parts of myself with her, but it wasn't always comfortable.  I don't give up pieces of myself easily and she had a larger collection than most already.   

"I know you do."

I grinned.  "Even though he puts the shits up me."  Enough deep looks into Terry for now.  A bloke can only take so much. 

Her laughter filled my office.  "I knew there was a reason I liked him."

I pulled a face.  "Very funny....bastard thinks he taught me everything I know."  Long swallow of bourbon and a very smug smile.  "When in point of fact, I have forgotten more than he will ever know."  She giggled and rolled her eyes, all too familiar with this particular brand of affectionate verbal bashing, both mine and his, I reckon.  "So, what does O'Leary have to say about this stellar honor he has received?  Can he stop perving on mermaids now?"

This time, she was the one who looked away.  "He invited me to his home."

"With lights?"

"With lights."

Jesus.  "Man, you are honored."  That surprised me.  I hadn't realized it was that serious.  "Not many women who have seen the inside of that hideaway... not many men, either."

"He does like his secrets."  She smiled, her face more closed now than it had been.  Looks as if she's as protective of his privacy as she is of mine.  Good.  Her eyes twinkled.  "Reminds me of another man I know...."

I feigned innocence.  "I can't imagine who you mean...  Seriously though- I appreciate that you wanted to tell me this before I read the post.  That means a lot."

"And I appreciate your honesty."  She searched my eyes.  "You know I'd never do anything I thought would hurt you."  That's when she did it.  No amusement on her face as she leaned in and whispered in my ear what I needed to hear to make this truly OK.  Silly that I'd need those words, but I did and she gave them to me, pulling back afterwards to meet my eyes. 

"Are we OK now, Charlie?" 

I nodded.  "We're apples, lassie."

HEATHER

We talked for probably an hour after that, silly things, serious things.  Things you wouldn't be interested in and things I wouldn't ever dream of revealing.  He had another bourbon, I had water, my head was spinning already and a girl needs all her wits about her when talking with Terry.  Too much gets by if you don't.  He's a tricky one.  Tricky and playful.  I wandered around his office while we talked and flirted, taking in this private space of his that was such a reflection of him, not of who he was in my eyes, but of who he believed he was.

The room was stylish and elegant, but so stark.  Everything in shades of black and charcoal and gray.  In fact, aside from my things in the chair by the door, the only real color in the entire office was in the pictures on his corkboard, in the beautiful glass sculpture displayed on a pedestal by the couch and in his tie.  All little touches he couldn't hide, like his true self peeking through the cracks of his carefully maintained façade.

I stopped before the corkboard, smiling at what I saw there.  This was the Terry I was most familiar with.  This one small space in his office said more about who he really was than anything else.  Pictures of him with Uma... the pair of them dressed to the nines- obviously on their way out, them together on the porch of their new home- keys in hand, another of them snapped during the massive remodeling, both of them dust covered- him with a sledgehammer and an insane grin and her with broom and a look of amused outrage. 

There were ones of just her.  A good many, actually, both silly and sweet.  Her in the early morning- fresh faced like a young girl.  Her sitting on the hood of the new car he'd given her.  Her in what had to be Tecala.  Another of her on Tortola, her love shining brightly in her eyes.  One of her with Ann having tea at their makeshift kitchen table.  One of him with Arthur, who was sporting a rather jaunty Santa hat. There was a Christmas tree in the background and the remains of several opened gifts. 

The rest of the Brothers and Sisters were well represented.  A photo from Hando's opening with Teener's pretty writing across the bottom 'wish you were here....'  A candid of him and Max and Dino from what had to be their night of debauchery in New York.  (Must have been early on.  Max still had his watch!)  One of him and Lach in the cockpit of the plane, giddy looks on their faces like young boys with a new toy.  Figures.  A snap of him sleeping in a chair on the porch at Izzy's during Temple week with Dino's messy scrawl under it 'Downtown....pathetic, man'.  I snickered at the picture next to it.  One of Dino, smiling and raising a glass.  Someone had poked his eyes out with a tack and added devil horns and a goatee with a black marker.  Gee, I wonder who did that?

When I got to the one of Max with a dart in it, I couldn't help but throw Terry a look.  He shrugged and giggled.  I did too when I saw the post-it note stuck next to it.  Had to be Max's heavy writing.  'Did you miss or were you actually aiming for my heart?'  Implying in his clever way that Terry's true target had been his balls.  I rolled my eyes.  Men.       

My eyes wandered to a picture of all of the Brothers together after the footie game, bruised, dirty and grinning like loons.  Snap of Bud blowing out his candles, of Cort preparing to offer Communion, of Jack and Stephen on the deck of the 'HMS Shagalot', of him and Uma- tanned and pink cheeked in front of a small waterfall, of Hollywood giving the lot of them a toast over dinner.  Darce baking in her kitchen- a smudge of flour on her cheek, him and John with Reagan's dogs, Izzy in a gorgeous red dress, Teener in her garden, several of Ann- at her home, in London, one silly one of the two of them covered in beads outside a New Orleans nightclub.  One of me, staring out over the water from his balcony in Manila.  I didn't even realize he'd had a camera with him that trip.  Warmth flooded me. 

A life in pictures.  For as much as it moved me, it seemed a little sad too.  It only went back a few years.  Not a single one of him as a young man or of Henry.  Despite what he'd found in this life, it had to have been hard to give up the precious moments from the life he'd lived before.

My eyes wandered back to the picture he'd taken of me and I couldn't help but wonder if there were others.  Just seeing it brought back a flood of treasured memories and that warm tingly feeling in my chest expanded.  It stayed with me as I walked over to look at the glass sculpture.  I've always adored glasswork and this piece was exquisite.  Looked like a Chihuly.  I'm hardly well versed in glass artists, but Chihuly is a Seattle native.  Over the years, I've seen several of his shows in the gallery downtown and this piece had all the hallmarks of his work. 

I looked back at Terry, suddenly aware I'd fallen silent and that he was looking at me look at his things.  I felt a blush rise.  "Lord, Terry... this office?  It is so... you."

"Is this where I get a lecture about my boring sense of color?"  He grinned cheekily.  "I'm with Ford....any color... as long as it's black." 

I huffed at him softly.  "You've got a fine sense of color.  It worked well enough for the pearls you chose.  For the roses too."

He smiled, obviously pleased with my reply.  "Black and white, then."

I ignored him.  "And I do see a hint of color in here.  Your pictures... your tie... that gorgeous piece of glass."

"Tink."  One little word, infused with so much feeling.  "She does have a way of bringing color into my life."  He giggled.  "Want to see the bruises?" 

I 'Hmmmed' an answer at him, unwilling to delve into that topic just now.  He wasn't as stark as he painted himself.  As for his other comment?  I snorted.  "See them?  I heard her making them!  I hope you're soundproofing that new house..."

"Such cheek, love."  He clucked at me.  "I'm very quiet....although I can't help it if I make women scream, can I?"

"Well, that is a particular talent of yours I very much admire....so I suppose I can't complain."  His gaze drew me back towards the desk and when I got close enough, he leaned forward in his chair and tapped the top of the desk with a finger, indicating just where he wanted me to sit.  "And for your information, mister, your voice carries."

"Oh yeah?"  He licked his lips and gave me a look that would have scorched iron to ashes.

I nodded, unable to take my eyes off him.  "Most definitely."  His hand toyed with the strap on my shoe and then slid up the back of my leg.  "I missed this.  It's been a long time since Manila."

His eyes showed his pleasure in my words, but his tone remained playful.  "So what does my voice say that gets you so worked up that it disturbs your little playtime with Flipper?"

I swatted his arm but answered him anyway.  "Hmm... I think the last time it was, "Holy CHRIST..."  And then the sound of the headboard hitting the wall....and then something about 'Tink' that I will not repeat."  That part made me blush a little. 

"Mmmmm....maybe I will just think about that for a while... I seem to have no memory of the incident..."  My God, he really was too much.  "Yeah, no memory... just a feeling..."

"Bet it's a damn good feeling."  I smiled at his bark of laughter.  His hands had moved higher up the bare flesh of my calves over my knees and started up my thighs, warm palms sliding up and down my legs.  He gave me an unreadable look and without even the slightest bit of embarrassment or hesitation, lifted up my skirt so he could have a look.  After an impossibly long moment, he lowered my skirt and our eyes met.  "See anything you like?"

Tongue on his lip, head cocked, watching me.  There was an odd light in his eyes.  "Yeah... but I think I need to see more... of course, I'm too much of a gentleman to ask..."  He slowly pushed my skirt up to my hips and left his hands on my thighs, squeezing firmly.  "Now, if I was the black knight instead of the white knight... then that would be a different matter."

"The black knight?  He sounds interesting...."  I slowly, sensually ran my foot up his leg.

He laughed suggestively.  It sent shivers down my back and I felt my nipples tighten from nothing more than the feel of his palms on my thighs and the raspy promise in his voice.  "He takes what he wants.  He doesn't wait to be asked."  This time when he spoke, his voice wasn't quite so playful. 

I felt desire flutter in my belly and drop lower to blossom wetly between my legs.  "I like him already."  He smiled darkly at the tremor in my body.  "I don't suppose he's on the field of honor today?"

His fingers brushed higher, thumbs teasing at the edge of my panties.  "Oh he's never far away... always lurking about somewhere."

I was unable to control the desire to touch him.  I stroked his throat, fingering his tie suggestively.  "Is he, now?"  He nodded and a low sound rumbled deep in his chest.  "I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting him." 

"You want him to come out to play?"  He brushed his thumbs over my panties, growling at the wetness he felt there.

I shivered at that and tugged on his tie, perhaps a little more roughly than I'd intended.  He was making me wild.  "Please."  The word came out breathy and soft.  Nearly a whimper.

"The pleasure would be all his."  He said it flatly, coldly.  It was at odds with the dark heat burning brightly in his eyes. 

"I don't know about ALL the pleasure....although that has a certain attraction too."  I gave him a naughty wink, indicating that I was more than willing to play this game of his.

"OK....you asked for it."  He jerked me back from him, hands gripping me hard where they had been tender moments before.  "Strip.  Everything off."

The absolute power in his voice made me want to press my legs together against the ache building between them.  I swallowed hard.  "Everything?" 

His eyes gleamed dangerously.  "Leave the shoes."

My hand was still on his tie.  I fingered it lightly and pitched my voice so it was soft, demure.  "And this?  Can I wear this?"

Hint of a smile at his lips.  "You can use my tie to keep yourself warm.  Please me well and perhaps I won't pull it too tight around that pretty little neck of yours."  He sat back in his chair and watched me with hooded eyes.  The bulge in his slacks was obscene. 

I closed my eyes as the shudder of want ran through me at his words.  I slid off his desk and stood in the erotically charged space between his open knees and the unyielding desk.  Trapped.  He was controlling his breathing.  It was perfectly even which meant he was far wilder than he was willing to let me see.  I tried to undress as hurriedly as possible, aware he didn't want a show; he wanted me naked before him.  It was difficult.  His hands were on me, stroking my groin roughly through my clothes.  I could sense the wildness rising in him.  He was in a predatory frame of mind.       

He didn't make it easy for me.  He made me work around his hands, finally pulling back to smell his fingers while he watched me slide off my skirt and panties until I was nude before him, wearing just the black heels.  I felt a blush rise as his gaze dropped to my sex and his eyes widened briefly.  Soft dark curls there now instead of the neat little bit he remembered.  Once Lach had made his preference known, I let it grow.  It drives him wild.  Like they were an extension of his eyes, Terry's hands reached for me almost immediately.  I could see the wheels in his head turning as he worked it out.  He said nothing but gave me a gravelly rumble of approval as he trailed his fingers through my damp curls, tugging softly. 

My face felt hot.  I wasn't embarrassed because of the change in my body.  I was embarrassed that he'd gotten such a revealing glimpse at something so intimate about Lachlan, as well as my willingness to be whatever he desired.  To cover my embarrassment, I busied myself loosening Terry's tie and then removed it, settling it around my own neck.  He was staring at me intently, which only made me more aware of my body and all the little signals I was unconsciously giving him.  I hid my sudden flash of nervousness with a joke while I fussed with the tie.  "I can't tell without a mirror... how's the knot?  Straight?"  I knew he wasn't in the mood for my teasing, but I also wanted to push him a little.  See what the black knight thought of that. 

He gave a slight grunt of disinterest at my teasing and grabbed my ankle, lifting it to rest on the arm of his chair.  A firm hand on my hip pushed me back until my butt was resting on the edge of his desk.  I had a hand on his arm to steady myself and I could feel his muscles bunch and flex as he arranged me to his liking.  He wanted to look and he gave a low growl of approval at the sight of my naked flesh displayed before him.  His eyes never once rose above my breasts. 

I decided to push him a little more, wondering what it would take to get him to snap.  "So this black knight, he doesn't say much, does he?"  My breath hitched at the first touch of his hand.

"What's to say?"  He ran his thumb over my wetness, looking up at me as he did so, finally meeting my eyes.  His were dark and stormy.  I wondered what he saw when he looked at me. 

"Indeed."  I didn't know what to say just then.  He'd never been this way with me.  Even that night he gave me the pearls...  he was commanding but not dominating.  The raw power I felt in him now was bleeding off him in waves.  His thumb stroked through my folds again and I closed my eyes, shivering at the intimate touch.  When I opened them, he was looking between my legs, his cheeks and throat tinged with a flush of desire, a visceral reaction to the sight before him.  He was turned on by the sight of my exposed sex and I suddenly had an idea.        

"This black knight, would he grant me a boon?"  

"A boon?"  He didn't look away from my crude display and his voice was slightly mocking.  "Depends on what I can expect in return." 

"How about absolute compliance?  Fealty sworn on bent knee?"

His fingers stopped moving and his eyes flicked up to mine.  "You want me to bow to you?"  The edge in his voice got sharper.  "Or you plan to kneel before me?"  I could tell that thought appealed to him. 

"I'm offering to swear absolute fealty to you in return for a boon....I want to know what you think of when you look at that gorgeous piece of glass." 

"Which piece of glass?"  He appeared not to be paying attention, but I knew better.  The black knight was toying with me. 

"The pink Chihuly."  Whatever was in his mind, my request disrupted him enough that his eyes flicked to it.  I wondered if he'd grant my boon; if my femininity and his desire to see me kneeling before him could cut through this game enough for him to repress the black knight, to let Terry the man answer my question.  Would he let me access that part of him now?  After I'd encouraged him to give the black knight free reign?  It was a bit like playing with fire, enticing a wild creature close and then seeing if it would let you pet it or if it would turn on you.  And in tandem with that intricate twining of masculine and feminine power was my true desire to know his thoughts.  And to be honest, exploring them in this erotically charged moment excited me. 

"That?  I don't know....It's nice.  Pretty."  His eyes strayed back to my body.  It was Terry who answered me but the answer he gave was without any real thought.  A pittance tossed to placate me.  I see the black knight hasn't gone far. 

"'Nice' isn't going to get you absolute fealty."  A rush of feminine power filled me.  If I backed down now, the wild animal I'd enticed would scent my fear and rip me to ribbons.  I don't think I really thought about what I did next.  I just did it.  I grabbed his chin in my hand and jerked his head back to look at the glass.  I wanted to bring him from that dark place into the rose-pink light of his current life.  "The glass, knight.  Tell me what you see." 

I saw his gaze fix on it and he blinked a few times, letting go of the game enough to play this new game with me.  I wondered if I'd have been able to affect so sudden a change if Uma hadn't been the one to give him the object I wanted him to focus on.  I doubted it.  For the briefest of moments, a soft look passed over his face and then he began to speak.   

"It's pink glass, bluish tinge... like a flower opening... or a sea shell... oyster?"  He muttered that last word almost soundlessly, his brow furrowed. 

"What else do you see?"  I prompted softly, unwilling to break his nearly trancelike gaze.  He'd given me a simple physical description.  I wanted more.  He continued on as if he hadn't even heard my question.

"...sort of waves rippling....yeah, the sea... flowing....wet..."  I swallowed a gasp as his fingers stroked absently through a different kind of flowing wetness.  His stream of consciousness continued uninterrupted.  "....a pearl... hard against the soft petals...  lips..."

"I like pearls... yours in particular," I whispered to him.  "Tell me more..."

He shook his head a little, looked back at me and then back to the glass.  The touch between my legs became more deliberate and this time when he spoke, he was more aware of what he was saying.   "It's like a woman... coming in my hands... Jesus, it's like your body... opening up for me." 

My legs instinctively opened wider at his revelation.  "Touch me... look at it and touch me... tell me how it makes you feel."  His eyes were riveted on the glass but his fingers continued to stroke and fondle.   

"....your body bearing down... waves tightening and loosening round me..."  He swallowed hard and looked at me.  I wondered if he realized he was stroking himself with his other hand.  "Christ... is that what it means?"  Wonderment flared in his eyes for a brief moment and then was eclipsed by something else.  "You feel like it looks."  His gaze swung back to the glass.  "Oh God....pink flesh, bruised and blood tinged... hard nub... deep... wet...."  He was struggling to get the words out now, caught up in the sensual contrast between cold smooth glass and warm slippery woman, clearly surprised at how unaware he'd been of how the glass had affected his demeanor.   

"You like to touch the glass, don't you?"  A soft question but a direct one, meant to begin to pull him back from his journey inward.   

He nodded. "Yes, always did."  His gaze caressed the glass, much as his fingers were caressing me.

"Bet you've touched it a hundred times in passing."

The look on his face told me he was thinking back, remembering.  A soft smile touched his mouth.  "I often touch it when I'm thinking.....not consciously, really..."

"Do you like the feel of it under your hands or the way it makes you feel inside?  Both?"

"Just liked the feel...  makes me feel secure...."  His eyes flicked back to mine.  "What does that mean?"  A rhetorical question.  He was asking himself, not me.  "I don't know... it's tactile, yeah... I liked that, but there's the sense of it too....this feeling of..."  He paused.  "I can't explain it."

"I think you have already."  He'd shared such intimate thoughts with me and I would treasure them far more than whatever fleeting pleasure this other game would bring us this afternoon. 

His eyes widened as he looked from it to me again.  "It's a female orgasm, isn't it?  Why didn't I see that before?"

That question made me smile.  Ever the K&R man, wanting to know how some detail managed to escape his notice.  I shrugged.  "It was a gift, superfluous to the functioning of your office... but you liked it nonetheless, kept it here... touched it."

"Yeah... a gift."  I wondered about the circumstances of this particular gift but it wasn't my place to ask.  There were some places I didn't go with Terry despite our deep connection. 

"You liked it without knowing why, I'll bet... an immediate reaction."

He nodded again.  "Yeah... felt right somehow.  Reminded me of something.  Just thought it was beaches as a kid... things like that."

I smiled.  "Beaches ever make you feel like that?"  Teasing him a bit but he wasn't in the mood.  His answer was as intimately revealing as the rest of his words had been.

"Beachcombing... you know?  Wandering about collecting shells, sea creatures... hot days, sun, bare flesh....the way it makes you feel.  Sort of boneless... even as a kid you feel something loose, ya know?"

Carefree days, prepubescent sexuality, the enjoyment of a sensual experience that wasn't sexual.  "Yes, I can see how it could make you feel that." 

He didn't stop, consumed by the sensual memories of his youth, triggered by this adult sensual experience.  "Cool water, seaweed floating, like long hair... want to dive in... bury myself in it..."  He paused, shook his head and drew up sharply, eyes flicking to mine.  "Fuck... what's going on... the black knight found his tongue?"

I touched his face gently.  "Thank you for my boon."  I could sense a shift in him and was aware that the pendulum that had swung so far one way would now likely begin to swing to the other extreme. 

He didn't acknowledge my thanks except to give a small curt nod.  "So... time for payback... oath of fealty..."  His eyes dropped back to my sex and he watched his glistening fingers stroke and tease.  "I will have it from you."  

I touched his arm softly, the contrast between his clothes and my nakedness was erotic.  It made me feel vulnerable.  Not scared exactly, but hyperaware of both my body and his.  "I am yours to command, my dark knight."  He shuddered at my words.   

"Let me taste..."  Let me.  Terry was beginning to lose ground to the dark knight.  He was commanding but not dominating.  Not yet.  "I have touched and looked... let me taste and smell.  All my senses want to know you."

I opened for him, spreading wider.  "The scent of the sea... like the glass..."  I whispered encouragements, although he needed none.  He casually flicked the tip of the tie out of his way and bent his head, licking languidly, his mouth playing with my flesh as his fingers might have touched the glass.  I moaned softly, moving against him gently, restlessly.  The flesh under his mouth felt engorged, exquisitely tender.  My thighs were wet.  So was his mouth. 

He inhaled, rubbing his face against me and entered me with his tongue, lapping and flickering around as he stroked my thighs with his hands.  I stifled my cries of pleasure, rocking on his desk in a lewd display of female desire.  In the back of my mind, I knew the door was locked but I didn't want to risk calling attention to us, ending this before it had had a chance to play all the way out. 

His touch was changing.  He was beginning to take over, holding my hips down easily so he could take what he wanted from me rather than give me pleasure, lost someplace between Terry the man and the rising power of the dark knight, somewhere between the sensual feelings the glass stirred in him and the darker more primal urges driving him.  I could feel the pendulum swinging further, out of the rose-pink light and into the shadows.  He had a great deal of power over me and he knew it.                 

When he spoke, his voice was husky, rough.  "That's more like it... give it up, girl... open those legs wide and let me see the real thing."  No more 'let me'.  Now it was a command he expected me to follow without hesitation.  I complied, trembling and breathless, waiting for the next one.  "Lie back... touch yourself."

He withdrew, sliding his hands down my legs until they rested under the arches of my feet, caressing the black suede leather of the shoes while he waited for me to begin the show.  It wasn't the first time I had touched myself for his pleasure but it was the first time it felt like this, like something I was doing for him rather than with him.  He wouldn't let me catch his eyes.  I felt a blush sweep up my neck and over my cheekbones but I did as he commanded, sliding my hands down my stomach and over my sex, spreading myself with my fingers so he could see everything.

One of his hands left my foot to massage his heavy erection through the fine wool of his slacks.  "I could do anything I liked to you... anything...."  Something about the way he said 'anything' made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and sent a rush of gooseflesh over my body.  His eyes darted up from my graphic display to burn into mine.  "You know that?"  I felt a tingle of fear.  Despite the fact that the only physical connection between us was his chaste touch on my foot, there was a malevolent light in his eyes that I'd never seen before.  But then again, I'd never played this game with him before.  With anyone before.  But this was Terry.  He would never hurt me.  That knowledge alone gave me the courage to tempt the dark knight.  To tempt fate.       

"I know... it excites me.  Scares me...."  I shivered.  "....anything...."  Anything covered a hell of a lot of ground.  He laughed a little coldly, still not touching my skin with anything but his eyes.  I touched myself more boldly, trying to entice him, to incite him. 

His voice was cold.  Hard. "You lie down before the black knight and open your cunt... what do you expect?"  His tone demanded an answer. 

"To be taken, sire."  I gasped as he thrust two fingers in a little roughly, making me jump.  "Oh God..."

"Taken where?"  No emotion in his voice.  It was flat.  Dead.  I reminded myself he was the king of masks.  He switched faces like other men switched shoes.  I had nothing to fear from him, did I?

"Anywhere you wish."  This time when he looked at me, I couldn't see even a hint of Terry in his eyes.  There was only the black knight, ruthless and predatory, concerned with nothing but his own pleasure.    

"Have you any idea where I could take you?"  It sounded like a warning. 

I ignored it.  "Show me."   

"Down... deep down... dark places..."   

"Show me," I whispered again, so quietly it was nearly inaudible.  

He was panting slightly, mauling me with his hands, looking as if he would fly apart at any moment.  "Are you sure... we go so far and we can't stop."  The dark light in his eyes flickered and grew brighter.  "I won't stop." 

I was scared.  Aroused.  My thoughts were fuzzy with desire and with the bourbon I'd had earlier.  It made my tongue bold.  And foolish.  "I don't want you to."  He stood, looming over me and wrapped the tie around his fist, using it to draw me to my feet.  Even in the heels, I still wasn't tall enough to look him in the eye.  He chuckled darkly and nudged the knot just the slightest touch tighter until it sat snugly against my throat, putting pressure on, but not constricting, my airway.  I didn't make a sound.  I didn't even breathe.       

"Strip me."  He growled out the order.  "Slowly."

I did as he commanded, and as before, he made it difficult for me.  He held on to the tie, stroking the fine silk suggestively, as he might stroke himself.  Up and down in a maddening rhythm.  It made my hands tremble.  He smiled a little mockingly when I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.  He let me open it but didn't allow me to push it from his shoulders.  Instead, he directed me to kneel to remove his shoes and socks... but he still didn't let go of the tie.  The odd position forced my chin up, making it all the more difficult to carry out his orders.  When I didn't move fast enough he tugged on it.  Just once.

"Remember what I told you about the tie."  It wasn't a question.  His masterful tone made me dizzy with want.  I slid his belt loose and unzipped him, easing his pants and underwear down slowly and letting my fingers trail down his legs, like a tickle but electric.  Erotic.  From my knees, I looked up at him.  He was magnificent.  Unapologetic in his masculinity, accepting my silent homage as his due.  He was watching me watch him.  It made him harder.  He was wet, as I was.

"Up."  His tone was different.  Was the pendulum swinging back toward the center?  Or was this some new game for me to figure out?  He said nothing else, only pulled me to my feet and used the tie to drag me to the black leather couch.  He sat heavily and the leather creaked seductively under him.  He pushed me to my knees and stared at me with hooded eyes.  His were unreadable.  I imagine mine were wide and dark with desire.

He looked every inch the dark knight, wild and powerful.  He was still wearing his dress shirt.  Charcoal Armani with that beautiful sheen of fine cotton.  It set off the color of his skin and made his eyes appear to glitter with a green light.  I could imagine this man riding out of the mist, the black prince astride a dark destrier.  What a crusader he would have made, striking terror in the hearts of men and women alike.  I could see it in my mind's eye.  Banners of black silk embroidered with silver gryphons.  A mythical dark beast, just like its master.

"Don't look at me."  Another command, low and gravelly.  I dropped my eyes to the floor, trying to figure out this new game.  What was I supposed to do?  Why didn't he tell me what he wanted?  Was this part of the game?  I suddenly realized I hadn't yet given him my oath.  Is that what he was waiting for?

I took his large hand in mine, felt the calluses rasp against the softness of my fingertips as I swore to him my allegiance and kissed his hand.  I did not play coy, nor did I tease.  I spoke the words in all seriousness, still trying to work out what he desired from me.

When he said nothing, I wondered if he was waiting for me to ask him for direction.  I was already on my knees, what more did he want?  Was I to speak plainly as he had done?  Is that what he was waiting for?  He touched my hair and I looked up at him through my lashes.              

"Shall I prostrate myself..?  Kiss your feet...?  Masturbate for your pleasure....?  Suck your cock.....?"  He simply smiled lazily at the first few.  I tried again.  "Beg you to mark me?  To fuck me?  To hurt me?"  His smile was gone.  "Want me to bleed for you?" 

Silence.

When my gaze trailed down his body, I was surprised to see his erection had waned.  Did I do something wrong?  I looked up at him from between his parted legs, hands still resting on his knees.  "Terry?"  Why wasn't he talking?  A smile slowly spread across his face but his eyes remained unreadable.  I could feel the mood changing. 

"Well, what have we here... better bring on the dancing girls... wait... that tie..."  He chuckled quietly but I didn't follow.  "You look hot as fuck in my tie and those shoes, love."

My brow furrowed  "The black knight?"

"What?"  I sensed a touch of irritation in him because I hadn't immediately jumped into this new game with him. 

"Has he gone?"  What the hell just happened here?

Terry twirled the tie in his fingers, smoothing the knot he'd crushed earlier.  "He has his lighter moments... so he's a tie fetish?"

"Mmmm...."  I was turning that over in my head.  I wasn't really sure I wanted to pick at this any more.  Unfortunately, he knows I have a habit of nonverbal communication when I pick up on something I'm not quite sure about.  I sat back, no longer adopting such a subservient position.  "Your eyes are different."  They were and they narrowed at my comment.      

"Black knight's prerogative, love.  He can pick any game he pleases."  I might not know what had just happened here, but one thing was for certain.  There was something very controlled about him just now.  He meant business.  His body language had one clear message.  Don't go there.  The look in his eyes backed it up, warning me he'd be more forceful in stopping me if he needed to.  Odd, considering he was the one who brought up all this dark knight stuff, not me. 

Still, I had no desire to play games with him that he didn't want to play.  Just being with him was enough.  "I concede then."  Terry puts on too many faces for other people, being what they need or want.  I wanted to be what he needs and wants.  Being playful and sweet with him was certainly no hardship.  And in truth, I prefer being real with him to any game.   

"Good girl... that's a good wench."  He smiled a true smile this time, one that touched his eyes as well as his mouth.  He tugged on the tie gently, urging me to rise up on my knees between his spread legs.  The leather of the couch creaked as he leaned in and kissed my mouth, slowly, sweetly.  He placed my hands on his chest, urging me to remove his shirt as he deepened the kiss.  I pushed it from his shoulders and he sighed into my mouth, using his immense strength to lift me against him effortlessly.  "Yeah... that's it, love.  I want to feel the leather under me and flesh above me."

He leaned back and pulled me onto him by the tie, helping me to sit astride him as he stretched out on his back, looking up at me with a smile and light, glittering eyes.  I could feel him under me.  He was impossibly hard, weeping against his belly.  His hands teased over my cheekbones, smoothing down my neck and over my shoulders to trail down my arms before he took the tie in his fingers and tickled me with the tip of it.

"Lift up, lassie."  I rose up slightly and he flicked the tip between my legs.  "I rather fancy the scent of that later."  Naughty little smirk from him.  He would, too.  Wear it and think of me... alone in his office he'd close his eyes and bring it to his nose, letting the memories wash over him as the scent flooded his senses. 

I smiled at him.  "You've a habit of that..."

"Have I?"  He looked up from between my legs, catching the smile on my face.  

"The pearls... the tie... and your hands, of course."

He chuckled.  "I do it without thinking.  I like the contrast."

"I know... I like it that you do.  You're not hesitant with me....you have no need to be.  You know I want you."  He was starting to become unfocused, drifting deeper into his pleasure as we touched and kissed.

"Jesus, do you know how that makes a man feel?  How he wants to feel....like the greatest king and the humblest beggar."  He met my eyes and his hands stilled on my body.  "That's when the power is good... makes a man want to take but to give too."

I nodded.  "Yes, and there is goodness in that even when it has a darker edge.  Sometimes women want to feel that raw power.  We don't feel it any other way than when you're with us like that.  Reaffirms for us we've chosen a strong man."  I kissed him softly and whispered against his lips.  "It's strong in you but gentle too."  It was happening.  We were losing ourselves to the pleasure, to that beautiful thing that happens when we touch each other like this.  I knew there wouldn't much more deep conversation. 

"I want to be strong for you..."  He touched my cheek, trailing his fingertip down to brush his thumb over my bottom lip.  "You want me to take you there, lassie?  Or you want to lead me?"

"What do you want?"

The most gentle smile touched his lips.  "I already have it."

"I want you to tell me what you want."  I wanted to give him all the things he never asked for in his quest to put his lover's desires above his own.  To be what they needed.   

"Sit on me."  His eyes burned into me as he lifted my hips and put his thumb at the base of his erection, pushing upwards, offering himself to me.  "Take me in."  He was commanding, but in a different way than he'd been before. 

I gasped and his eyes closed as I sank down on him.  His jaw clenched and his fingers tightened on my hips.  Under me, I felt his hips flex as he prepared to thrust.  "Terry, wait..."  His eyes opened.  "Don't move yet...."  There was a question in his gaze.  "So big like this at first....too big..."   

Masculine pride glittered in his eyes for a moment and then his brow furrowed.  "Want me to touch you first... use my hands?"

I shook my head.  "No, just your body."  I wanted to feel his most intimate invasion as fully as possible.  I just needed a little more time than usual to adjust in this position.     

His thumbs brushed rhythmically in the hollows of my hips and I could feel him throbbing inside me.  He was so deep like this.  "I don't want to hurt you."

I put my hands on either side of his head and bent to kiss him, pulling away to whisper against his mouth.  "You can be the black knight too... it's OK....he won't hurt me."  I wasn't asking for a repeat of earlier but he knew what I meant. 

A small smile turned up the corner of his mouth.  "Well...a little bit of pain....just a touch..."  His fingers stroked where we were joined, not to ease my acceptance of his body as much as it was to feel me stretched tight around him.  Our eyes met.  "Jesus....tight for me too...."

I felt him pulse inside me purposefully.  "Hurts good."  

He nodded.  "So good."

I moved on him slowly, enjoying his hiss of pleasure just as he enjoyed my gasp when I finally adjusted enough to take all of him.  "You like it that you're big for me... I see it in your eyes."

"Yeah..."  He grunted in amusement.  And pleasure.  "What man doesn't?"

"No man."  My hips rocked, taking him deep, stroking his most intimate flesh with my own.  I squeezed down hard to make it tighter for him still, wanting to make it so good for him. 

"Unnngh....Jesus..."  My hair hid our faces, like a dark curtain as we kissed.  I felt his hands roam my body, cupping my breasts, pulling sensually at my nipples, moving to my back so he could gain purchase to buck up into me.

"God... so good."  I moved harder on him as his hands slid to my hips, kneading my buttocks as his pleasure mounted.  I touched him everywhere, his arms, his chest, his face, desperate for the feel of him. 

"Brace against my shoulders."  A command.  A touch of the black knight.  His voice was raw, needy.  "I have to fuck..."  He put the soles of his feet flat against the couch and thrust up into me again and again and again. 

"Come on...."  I whispered encouragement to him.  "Fuck me..."  My senses were full of him.  The feel of his body, the scent him, of myself, of our lovemaking.  The smell of the leather couch under us.  His soft grunts, my whimpers of pleasure.  The taste of bourbon from his mouth.  I licked his chin.  It tasted of me.  His fingers tangled in my hair. 

"Yeah... Jesus... you're so fucking tight...."  His muscles strained as he moved under me.  My hands clutched hard at his shoulders as my eyes fluttered shut.  A soft growl from him.  "Stay with me."  His words... the smoky sound of his voice.  They made me shake.  My eyes opened and caught his.  They were wild and unfocused.  "I want you... so bad... Oh, Christ...."

"You feel so good..."  I gasped out my pleasure to him, little whimpers in time to his movements.  "I love how you feel inside me..."

Something flickered in his eyes.  "Want it harder?"  My sweet Terry, even now when I've told him I want nothing more than to give him what he wants, he is still hesitant to ask for it. 

"Yes, more...."  I deliberately caught his eyes, putting all that I was feeling into my voice.  "Everything..."  I felt him surrender to it.  

"Lie back."  Another time he might have smiled at my sigh of distress when he slipped from my body.  Not so today.  He was too far inside his own pleasure.  As was I. 

I moved and stretched out on my back, opening my arms and legs and cunt and heart to him.  "Come here to me."  He thrust hard into me as I wrapped myself around him and he grunted out his pleasure to me now that he could put the weight of his body behind the force of his thrusts.  "God... Terry..."

His hips surged harder.  "Tell me....am I hitting it?"  He was and it was turning me inside out.  Hitting that place deep inside that robbed women of all thought and reason. 

"Yessss....God!"  That spot...  I was dying.  His face was a beautiful grimace of pleasure as he drew my leg up over his shoulder so he could go deeper, hit it harder.  Make me fly.  The couch creaked wildly, an echo of the sweaty slap of our bodies.  The sensory experience was overwhelming.  The leather under me.  His body over me.  Inside me.  I fluttered around him.   

"I can feel you..."  Growled words, low and deep through clenched teeth.  "Muscles so strong....squeezing me tight..."  He knew he was hitting that place inside me over and over.  "Yeah.....yeah.....yeah..."  Marking each deep thrust with a single word, confirmation of his pleasure.  And mine.

I muffled my cries against his neck.  Felt tears on my face from the exquisite pleasure he forced from me.  "So close, Charlie..."

"Come on...."  He ground into me roughly and I flew apart, crying his name, begging him.  Calling to God.  Calling to him. 

He didn't stop.  

He surged harder, making me cry out for him again.  Making me wince.  Making me burn.  "Come on!  Squeeze down hard.....Gonna break you in two!"  His hands fisted, pulling tight in my hair.  My eyes watered.  He pounded into me wildly.  For a moment, it was the black knight above me and I came on him again, out of nowhere like that first night in his bed.  Inside the black shoes, my toes curled.  It was shockingly intense.  I moaned my pleasure to him, begging him to let go, to come in me.  He strained hard over me.  "Fuck....I can't hold out...."  His voice broke.  "Help me... Oh, God.....fuck....fuckkkkkk!!!"

I squeezed hard around him, wanting to give up everything to him, to make it as good as I could for him.  He shuddered as spasms of pleasure wracked his powerful body.  I felt the thick length inside me pulse rhythmically as he shook in my arms, felt the wet flood as he came, felt its fluid warmth blossom inside me as he pressed his face to my neck and slumped against me, sweaty and shaking.  The cushion gave under me, taking our combined weight as I held him close, stroking his skin and hair, whispering love words to him. 

He rolled to the side, turning us so that I was cradled between his chest and the back of the couch.  "Too heavy for you," he whispered, kissing me gently as he withdrew from my body.  He slipped a hand between my legs, cupping my sex intimately.  "Just let me hold you."

I buried my face against him and let him hold me.  "My harbor."  Soft words and an even softer kiss pressed to his throat.  "I love that you are that for me too."

His arms tightened around me.  "Safe."  I whispered to him that I felt safe.  "Me too," he admitted quietly.  He was silent a moment.  "Even black knights can feel lonely sometimes."

"I think maybe especially the black knights, Charlie."  

"Maybe."  He didn't sound convinced.

I rested my head on his chest.  "I love hearing your heartbeat."

"It's beating fast....a little wild...."  He swallowed hard.  "Like I was then."  Yes, he had been a little wild.  He had been the black knight.  And the white knight.  And the man, too.  A blessed trinity of lovers, blended into one beautiful, flawed man.  And despite all that had passed between us this afternoon, it was the words torn from him at the moment of his surrender that tugged most at my heart.  'Help me.'  I hoped I had.  He pulled back to meet my eyes.  "I didn't hurt you?"

I blushed.  "A little.  But I wanted you to.  A good sore."  

His eyes were instantly concerned.  "You sure?"  I reassured him that I was fine.  That no matter what he thought, I wasn't made of glass.  His eyes flicked to the sculpture and then back to me.  It made me smile.  "I'm just a big bruiser... don't know my own strength at times."

I kissed him softly.  "In the right moment, you are big and powerful but you're still mindful."  He looked away and didn't answer.     

With a soft sigh, he pulled his hand from between my legs and a trickle of semen followed.  "Let me clean you up."  He took the handkerchief from his shirt pocket and tenderly wiped us both before pulling me back into his body and wrapping his arms around me tightly.  "I'd never really hurt you, you know that?"

I nodded and gave him a squeeze of reassurance.  "Yes, I know that.  Absolutely."  We were silent for a short while.  "You know I wouldn't hurt you too, right?  Well, not like how you meant...."  Me hurt him physically?  That was laughable.  "You know what I mean... never emotionally.  Not ever."

He stroked my hair gently and I felt him relax against me.  "How could you hurt me?  It isn't in you.  You wouldn't start something that you couldn't finish."

"No, I wouldn't.  You're right."

He smiled.  "Thank you for letting me walk the wilder side with you."

I smiled back.  "Thank you for trusting me."

"I will always trust you."  What a gift to be granted from this most private of men.    

"And I you, Charlie."  

His smile got wider.  "How lucky is that, hey?  What we have?"

I laughed quietly, too happy inside to be silent.  "Exceptionally.  It's really, really good.  As the smile I can't wipe off my face must be telling you."   

"Makes me feel so good, girl."  A happy rumble in his chest accompanied his words.  "I like lying here just listening to you... like a grinning fool... struggling to string two coherent words together."  

"I love you this way and I'm glad you care to share it with me."  I didn't think it was a side he showed to many people.  Not the K&R face.  Not the white knight.  Not even the black knight.  Just the man he was under all his masks. 

He was quiet a moment.  "There aren't many people in the world who want to see me...  not stripped down as I really am."

"Maybe more than you think."  But he was right too.  My heart ached for him, for the man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, allowing so few people to see the terrible toll it could take on him. 

"Maybe."  I knew he was thinking about the way the black knight had treated me this afternoon and I could tell that though he was with me now, in this moment... he was also somewhere far away.  Nothing with Terry is ever easy.  You never get the light without the dark.     

"We're a pair, aren't we?"

He chuckled.  "A proper Charlie and a right little lass."  He twirled a lock of my hair around his finger.  "And I can't stop giggling... and I don't know why."  He couldn't stop brooding quietly either, but I didn't say so. 

"I like it... means you're happy."

"It's only taken me thirty years, hey?  Like the bloody Holy Grail."  I laughed at his joke but it was more apt than he thought.  Sir Galahad.  The true white knight.  The only of King Arthur's knights good enough, pure enough to succeed in his quest for the Holy Grail.  And a part of me ached for Terry, that he'd been unhappy for so long, even if a good portion of it had been of his own making.   

"Yeah... could that be what is keeping me awake at night?"

"Happiness?"

"Yeah... scary as fuck."  I snuggled into him deeper, all too aware of his fears.  So humbled by the happiness in his life and so terribly afraid it would slip through his fingers. 

I stroked his arm gently, soothed by the quiet rhythm of his breathing.  I was getting sleepy.  The bourbon.  The orgasms.  The security I always felt in his presence.  "And you....you always think when it gets good that something will happen."  I pressed a soft kiss to his lips.  "It's not always that way, you know."

Silence for a long moment.  "Well, that has been my experience."  I knew it had and I wished with all my heart it had been different for him.  He is such a good man and he deserved better.   

I sighed sleepily.  "You know, sometimes the good just keeps getting better, Charlie."  

"You think so, lassie?  Does the piper sometimes play for free?"

"I think so," I mumbled against his chest.  

"Well, there's a notion."  He kissed the top of my head and hugged me tight.  "Close your eyes, love.  I'll cover you with a throw... watch over you while you sleep."  I said nothing, just snuggled deeper into the safe haven of his body.  He held me until I was nearly asleep before he rolled away.  I felt him cover me with the gray chenille throw that had been resting on the back of the leather chair by the door.  He knelt beside the couch and I felt him remove my shoes.  My eyes fluttered open for just a moment and I saw him smile a little sadly as he stroked the strappy stilettos before he placed them side by side near the end of the couch.  I whispered something to him then, not much... just a few words, but he was too lost in his own thoughts to hear me. 

I heard him moving around his office, first redressing himself and then gathering up my clothes before he poured himself another bourbon and sat down at his desk.  His chair creaked quietly and I heard him sigh softly.  I smiled and wondered if he was looking at me or at the pink glass.  Both, probably.  Being with him this way, it made me feel safe and warm and loved, and just before sleep finally took me, I mouthed a quiet prayer, wishing with all my heart that both Sir Galahad and the black knight would get to keep the happiness they'd found.