[ October 31, 2003 ]

ANN

"What's she drinking?"

"Jesus, Annie."

"Well, you're the spy. Go spy."

"I'm not a fucking spy. You're the snoop. Go snoop."

"I'm not a snoop! Stop it!"

We were trying so hard to whisper but our giggling at each other got so bad that Dino was instantly suspicious of what mischief we were up to. He threatened to send us to separate corners if we didn't behave. Terry rolled his eyes and rolled out of the room. That sauntering gait of his that doesn't fool either Dino or me anymore. I heard his voice in the kitchen asking Heather if he could freshen her drink.

He gave me the eye as he came back out and poured a dollop of rum in a glass of coke. We both made these silent sighs.

See, it had gotten to the point that we were unsure if it would be welcome if we just came out and asked the question that we most wanted to ask Heather and Dino: "Are y'all pregnant yet?"

They'd been trying for ... months. We'd gotten to this point where it was like the thing we always ended up talking about but never bringing up on our own for fear it was turning into a really sore subject. I felt for them both.

"Hey, Annie, come pick out your pumpkin," Dino said to me, giving me that smirk and acting like he was doing me such a favor. So I followed him to the backyard as he was explaining to me that Heather, who is a real fan of pumpkin art, got each of us our own pumpkin to carve.

"I'll do one but only if Andy helps me," I said as the bundle of red-headed hellion named Andy came racing outside, followed by his uncle, the dark-headed hell-raiser named Terry.

Andy shrieked my name and dove behind me, telling me to save him from his uncle   ... who was now masquerading as a werewolf of all things ... a rather horrific rubber mask ... and seeming hell-bent on doing something rather rude to the boy. I scooped Andy up and we dashed for freedom. Andy was whooping that Terry was going to catch us but I jived over behind a bush and jigged around the swing set while Terry was threatening all sorts of terrible things to us both.

Then Andy has this bright idea ... we're right near his tree fort so if I could just give him a boost, he'll climb up and away from the big brute. So Andy climbed up and was safe. That left his poor aunt facing the werewolf.

"Climb up here, Auntie! Hurry!" Andy was laughing at me, knowing I was done for as the werewolf and I feinted around the large tree's trunk. Andy didn't care -- he was enjoying the show from his haven in the tree!

"Look! Over there! Isn't that Red Riding Hood?" I yelped out.

The werewolf chuckled. "You trying to trick the me, little girl? I'm a werewolf, not a Big Bad Wolf."

"Would I try to trick you on Halloween? Never. Hey! Look! It's a virgin! Over there on the side of the house. Don't werewolves like virgins most of all? Better hurry up -- she's getting away!"

The werewolf turned and craned his neck, saying, "A virgin? Hmmm. I do like virgins."

And with the werewolf distracted, I made a dash up the wood ladder to the tree house with Andy shouting encouragement and reaching down to grab my hand to help me up. I was almost safe ... almost out of reach when I felt two big hands grab my knees. Andy and I screeched at the same time but it was too late ... Andy was trying to pull me up but the werewolf was too strong for us. He yanked me right away from the tree, tossed me over his shoulder and started carrying me off to the forest ...

Er ... behind the bushes along the fence, rather.

"Now I've got what I really want. A juicy woman," the werewolf growled at me.

"No! Let me go!" I said, trying to sound sincere as I pounded on his big back.

He tossed me down on the ground, crawled over me, growled quite convincingly and I melted.

"Jesus, Terry. Should this be turning me on?" I whispered to him.

I got his giggle. He whipped off the mask and dove into my neck. I writhed under his assault and was honestly wondering just what pleasure I'd be getting when ... when young Andy came to my rescue. Damn him! He was beating the nasty old werewolf into submission. And another instant later, it was Andy whom the werewolf had decided to wrestle with in the grass.

Before I could get in on the action, Dino was yelling at us to get in the garage to carve our pumpkins. So I grabbed Andy and headed for the garage. Dino had already spread out newspaper to catch the pumpkin mess. As Terry studied his pumpkin and muttered darkly about needing his Leatherman, Andy drew a picture of what he wanted our pumpkin's face to look like.

"Andy, I'm not that good. Geez. You're talented, boy." I looked at what he'd drawn ... I think it was Spiderman. I grabbed another piece of paper and drew something simpler. Basically it was the classic three triangles and crooked mouth. "Would this do?"

"It has to be scary, Auntie."

"I'll make it scary. I'll make it look like your dad. How's that?"

Except for Dino, we all laughed at the idea just as Heather strode out and brought us beers. She was also carrying this fancy wooden box.

"Whatcha got there, Heath?" Terry asked her as he gave her a hand taking a seat on the cement floor in front of her pumpkin. We'd left her the short, pudgy pumpkin. She eyed up her orange gourd and whipped open the lid of the box. Showed us what she had inside while Dino giggled at our surprised expressions.

"Oh, did I forget to mention? Heather is really into carving pumpkins," Dino chortled as she began pulling out these various knives and blades and serrated gadgets.

"Yeah, did we forget to mention that?" she asked rather smugly.

Terry and I took good long swigs on our beers and just watched her study her vegetable canvas and then she started, slowly but surely, turning it into a real work of art.

Meanwhile, I was feeling like I'd accomplished a lot just by getting the insides of my pumpkin cleaned out and by actually making a rather traditional and boring face in the side of my pumpkin ... all without cutting myself with the knife.

"Terry, what the ... what the heck is that supposed to be?" Dino asked eventually. We all looked over to find Terry diligently pulling the guts of his pumpkin out through the roughly chiseled mouth he'd carved into it.

"It's an Aussie pumpkin, mate. Not used to all this carving shit. Made him sick."

"Jesus, Terry. That's gross."

"That's our boy," Dino grinned.

"Don't encourage him, Dino," I said. "Man, get the two of you together and it's like you just egg each other on."

I made this mad dash inside as they both began discussing the pro's and con's of tossing pumpkin guts at girls. Inside the bathroom, I washed orange stuff off my hands and took just a moment to relish this day. Times when the four of us were able to just be home together were always so special. I liked how Heather and Dino always made us feel like we were part of their family.

Opening the door to the bathroom, I saw ... "Eeek! That's the scariest mask I've ever seen! Go put the werewolf mask back on."

"It's my bored Aussie look. Like it?"

"Looks more like your typical sexy Aussie look. Which I happen to love. Come here. Let me show you."

"Yeah? Just what are you willing to show me, mate?" he giggled at me as he edged me back into the bathroom.

"I'll show you my costume if you'll model yours. I can't wait to see you in those breeches."

"Fuck off, Annie. I'm not dressing up as Lucky Jack for your prurient fantasies."

"Touchy touchy, my sweet K&R man. But the costuming for trick or treating is mandatory because Heather went to a lot of trouble to make us all costumes. Besides, you don't want to disappoint Andy, do you?"

"I'll wear the werewolf mask. You seemed to like that well enough," he said as he leered at me. "Maybe I'll score extra candy tonight."

"You'll score tonight all right, bebe. Just bring that lollypop of yours to me and I'll ..." I licked my lips suggestively and yanked him toward me. I was rewarded as he swallowed deep and slow ... and then closed the door to the bathroom.

"What'll you do?" he said as he crooked a finger at me. "Come demonstrate."

But before I could, there was a loud knock at the door and Dino was telling us there was a 6-year-old out there in urgent need of the facilities. He rolled his eyes at us when we came out then dispatched Terry to go get them each another beer while I chose that moment to escape back to the garage to be with Heather.

I watched her carving on her pumpkin and we chatted about what we'd each been up to since the last time we'd spoken. And then we talked about the new movie ... the new brother who'd be coming out of it ... Captain Jack Aubrey ... due in only two weeks and it seemed we'd been waiting on his arrival for years. I was incredibly anxious to meet him now that I'd read most all the books.

A noise of rollicking children made us both look out the garage's open door toward the street in front of their house. Two kids of about 9 or 10 rode past on bikes. I think every child anywhere around was wound up tight for trick or treat that night. I know the three boys inside that house were.

"I did some more research," I told her.

"Yeah? And have you talked to Terry?"

I sighed and looked at her. "I did. Yesterday when he got in."

"And?"

Enough booze in me to give me permission to show my irritation and confusion. "He says, and I quote, 'if it's what you want, then let's do it.' Not sure what that means."

"Is it? What you want, I mean? Or are you doing this only for him?"

I shrugged my shoulders and changed the subject. "And how are things on your hunt for motherhood?"

"No luck yet."   This time she didn't give me the usual pat 'but we're having fun trying' shtick. Quite a telling omission, I'd say.  She didn't look up from her pumpkin either.  "You know me though... Never could resist a good challenge."    

But her voice was too flip. "Okay. Now how about the truth?"

Enough booze in her to show her disappointment and unease.

"What do you think? You have no idea what it's like to feel like you have sex by the calendar and the thermometer." She shifted around and I saw the color in her face. "I think we've forgotten how to have fun, y'know? It never feels like it's for love anymore ... I miss Dean. I miss the way we used to be. I miss when it was fun and light."

I just touched her arm because sometimes, really, what can you say?

She was silent for a while.  "We thought maybe it was the...."  her eyes darted to the open door of the garage and then back to the pumpkin.  "...the crossing, you know.... 'cause he's not...."  She let that hang there but I knew what she meant.  He's not like the others.  'A fluke' I heard him once say to Terry when they didn't know I was within earshot.

She shrugged.  "It's not that."  I wondered if she was aware she was touching her stomach.  "I mean, we went to the doctor..."

"You have?"  I didn't know that.  

She nodded.  "Yeah.  I'm fine... he's fine...."  Her voice held a mocking note.  "They gave us a list of do's and don'ts as long as my arm and said it wasn't 'unexplained infertility' until we'd been trying a year."

I took a sip of my drink.  "That sounds reasonable."

She just smiled this sad little smile.  "That was seven months ago."

"I'm sorry, dearie," I said softly. No wonder she seemed a bit blue lately. She was hiding it as best she could, but that kind of stress in a marriage had to show up somehow.

Kids ... sugar ... tricks ... boys getting into trouble ... all this and more at the O'Leary household. Heather and I had our heart-to-heart interrupted by this loud, deep, wet noise that came from ...

"That came from the backyard! What have they done now?" Heather said with this irritation coupled with apprehensive amusement.

We hopped up and headed for the backyard. Just as we got to the kitchen door, we heard the noise again. It sounded like ... 'thump.'

Outside, we saw the latest round of trouble from these overactive minds ... they were hell when you got them together. They were all three standing there over this contraption that they'd built using rubber tubing and a funnel ... and Andy was jigging around and pointing to his tree house. The trunk of the tree in question was dotted with two huge orange messes ... And Dino had a third pumpkin in his hands that he was wiggling into place in the contraption ...

"A pumpkin launcher?" Heather breathed out, sounding seriously evil. "I'll launch a pumpkin at his ass and don't think I won't enjoy it."

They didn't have a clue we were watching. They were much too engrossed in their mission. Dino said the next pumpkin was going to get their target: Andy's tree house.

"Mate, I'm telling you.... you're off... it's gonna ..." Terry said.

"Fu ... Get outta my face, Terry. This one's got the right trajectory. Trust me."

Before we could stop them ... he let fly ... it was off. It overshot its mark but it landed smack in their back neighbor's window. The sound of breaking glass has one universal impact on bad little boys ... and the three in that backyard were scampering for cover so fast ... Dino and Terry's deep voices giggling about how much trouble they were each going to be in were complimented by Andy's shrieking in his little boy falsetto.

Heather and I looked at each other and started laughing. But when her neighbor came yelping out of his house, we screwed on our adult faces and went outside to face the music.

Of course, the boys who caused the problem were in hiding. And after we got royally chewed out by the neighbor and Heather said she'd pay for the damages, we were not in a real charitable mood.

"They are in so much trouble," I said. "We have to have the appropriate punishment."

"I meant it when I said I'd not think twice about launching a pumpkin at Dino."

"No, we have to make them both suffer. I know, they have to do the scut work while we make the caramel apples and roast the pumpkin seeds."

"Perfect."

Inside the house, we hunted for the boys in question. We heard them talking as we approached the door that led from the house to the garage. We paused to take in the scene. Dino and Terry were lounging at opposite sides of the outer garage door, looking off over the driveway toward the street. They were smoking and trying to look nonchalant. I got this instant image of the first thing they'd probably say to us: "Who us?"

Suddenly, Dino started chuckling.

"Mate, you know, she's going to have your arse in a sling for that," Terry said.

"No way, man.... shitty aim... I'll tell her you did it. Andy will back me up. Won't you, buddy?"

Andy looked up from where he had two cars racing hell bent for a head-on collision. He looked between the men, like he was trying to decide the best way he'd learned to stay out of trouble, and then piped up with this way-too-slick answer: "I didn't see anything, Daddy."

Terry snorted. "Is he your kid, or what?"

Dino grinned with pride and grabbed Andy into a hug, tossing him up high in the air and then giving his head a massive rub on the way down. "That's my boy! Chip off the old block, he is. Couldn't have said it better, Andy."

"Wait until he's 16, mate, and being that slick about the ding in your fender and where he's been with the pretty neighbor girl."

As his face went white, Heather whispered to me, "He's remembering himself at that age."

Just then Dino saw us standing there and the three of them started trying so hard to pretend innocence. We weren't buying it but then I expect they didn't think we would. So when we told them we had an appropriate punishment in store, they chuckled with those evil chuckles of theirs and thought we meant something we didn't. But we got them in the kitchen and set them to work.

First, they had to wash the apples and unwrap all the caramel pieces. Then Heather made them go through the pumpkin guts to haul out the raw seeds. Things were going relatively well until that particular point.

When our backs were turned as we were working on the caramel apples, they convinced Andy to wade into the guts and toss the seeds to them. I think Dino came close to getting a spoon up his ass when Heather saw them.

Then they started telling ghost stories to Andy only it was me who got spooked. When I complained, Terry grabbed me with his pumpkin-slimed hands and acted out the way the ghoul in the story would have attacked me. Which was rather fun except ... Heather was not happy when I started giggling and all because my wiggling around on his lap was more reward than punishment for him.

By the time the first pan of roasted pumpkin seeds was coming out of the oven, the caramel apples were cool enough to serve.

The smells, the laughter, the light in that kitchen. It felt warm and ... like the place you came to for your roots. I looked at Terry, eyes bright and his face relaxed ... I looked at Andy and the way he was watching his dad's every move, copying what he could ... and I wondered ... for like the millionth time lately, I wondered.

Why wasn't I more the type of woman Heather was? Her kitchen felt homey. Would Terry have described ours that way? She was mother to another woman's child and she was doing such a great job of it; she wanted a child of her own with Dino. If I'd been able to have kids, would I have wanted one with Terry?

My eyes focused and I realized Terry was looking at me. I think he knew exactly what I was thinking. I tried to smile at him and his soft eyes on me made me sad. I just felt like he might have wanted more from our union and I wanted to make it possible for him. But the only thing I could really think of, it didn't seem to be something he was that enthusiastic about. And that confused me no end.

"What do you mean you don't wear ruffles?"

"Annie, do you want to survive this night?"

"Terry, do you want to disappoint your nephew?"

"You'll look good in ruffles."

"Heather, I will take you down with her if you don't shut your mouth."

"Dino's going as one, isn't he?"

"No, Dino's not. Dino's going as a Marine."

"Ooh. In the red jacket with a rifle? That's neat. Are we each going as characters from the film? What am I going as?"

"Well, I'm going as a mermaid just because ... well, because Dino rather likes the mermaid look. There had to be mermaids in those seas they were sailing in. I thought you might like to go as a wench. Jack liked wenches."

"Now you're talking."

"And Andy will be Captain Jack? Cool."

"What about Uncle Terry?"

"He'd make a perfect Killick."

"He's surly enough."

"And ugly enough."

"Right. That's it. You lot have had it."

"You are really such a surly bastard ..."

"Annie, you're asking for it."

"Asking? I'm begging for it."

"Not in front of Andy, ya randy bastards."

"Mommy, Daddy said the 'b' word!"

"Hey, so did Annie!"

TERRY

"Mate, let's escape before they fucking think of something else for us to do," I told Dino as I heard sounds of water running in a tub. The women were getting set to scrub the caramel and assorted other messes off Andy before putting him in his costume.

"Wouldn't mind a bit of what he's getting. Two women concentrating on your privates?" Dino grinned at me.

"That's sick, mate. Jealous of your own kid."

"Two women, man. Surely you haven't lost the ability to fantasize even if you've taken the veil from adventurous sexcapades?"

"Fuck off, Dino. You were the one who ..."

"Me? I was never ..." Then giving me that giggle of his. "Ah, hell. Yeah. I was, wasn't I? I think I got you into more shit with women ... You loved it though, admit it."

Is there anything more pathetic than two men reliving their glory days? I reached inside my pocket and lugged out my cigarettes. And cursed good and hard when I got a load of them ... all bent and smushed. Then remembered how they'd got that way. Rolling around with Annie on the grass. Feeling her under me. She'd tasted good. Felt good. Just seeing her happy, carefree, feeling at home enough to drop all masks. The cigarettes were a welcome casualty.

But they also proved the perfect excuse for us. We told the girls ... needed to go out for more cigs. We were walking down to Dino's corner grocery.

Some nervous habit has got me dragging out one of the bent cigs and sticking it between my lips. I don't even notice what I've done except I catch Dino's smirk at me.

"Pathetic, man ... you playing cards, or what?  Gimmie one ... I wanna get bent, too."

I'm not his mummy so I toss him one while I make a snide comment. He's not supposed to be smoking while they're trying to get preggers. And I catch that look ... he gazes at the cig like it's a long lost snatch. It's a look I have seen a lot more lately ... I've seen its cousins in some of the bars we've gone into the last two months ... that longing for the simpler joys of sex for sex's sake I know he's feeling when he's eying up the jiggling wonders up on stage. I also know this ... Dino and Heather do not seem to be enjoying the process of making a baby anymore.  "Trouble in paradise, Dino?"

"Well, there's always a snake in paradise, isn't there?" 

"You can complain when you've got my sweet Heather actually contemplating having your child? Dunno what she sees in you, mate. Then again, redheads were never my type."

"You're breaking my heart, old man ...  as for what she sees? Been wondering about that myself, lately."

"I've wondered it for years." But ... he's not faking it with me anymore. I recognize this moment. It's time to drop the jokes for just a while. "Maybe she sees the man she wants to be the father to her child? She could do a hell of a lot worse. Things looking any promising in that direction, mate?"

"Yeah, well... you'll always be my fall back girlfriend, you know ..." He takes a deep drag on the cig; the look of his utter enjoyment of the forbidden taste is written on his face. And just that honestly, he says to me, "The baby thing isn't going so well though."

Not ready for quite that level of brutal honesty. I slow my pace as he does. He glances around, over the smoke as he blows it out in a steady stream. His eyes latch onto mine. He says, "You know how it is ... Murphy's Law ... the more you want something ..."

"... the more you work for it?" I try to finish for him.

He nods at me. "Work ... yeah ..."

"But some fun, hey? And quite a reward at the end."

"Fun?" He shrugs his shoulders and makes this frustrated sigh. "I forget, is sex supposed to be fun? Remind me ... been a while."

"How about I remind you instead that what you're aiming for means that much to you ... to you both. Is the sacrifice not worth it anymore? I can't believe that." Seven months he's been trying to get her pregnant. Seven months he's been failing. What's that like for a man like Dino?

"Of course it is ... I just never thought it would be a sacrifice. Jesus - you spend most of your life worried you might have slipped ... spent a goodly number of my Sundays back in school praying that the girl wasn't ... " He pauses, takes another drag on the cig. His voice wanders off. "Had a couple of close calls ... but then when you really want it to work ..."

"Keep you eye on the end goal, Dino. Picture Heather's face holding your child." A flicker of a smile on his face at that. "And I'll try not to keep having the nightmare of another child in the world with your red hair and goofy grin."

"Now that is inspiration, isn't it?" He doesn't sound inspired; he sounds far away, lost in whatever it is he must really see going on with Heather right now.

"How's Heather holding up?" I've seen how she's holding up ... not well. There's such a difference ...  her eyes don't seem to have the same ready sparkle. She seems more reserved. There are times when he reaches for her that she backs off. There are times when he doesn't reach for her that she notices and hurts.

"How's it look like she's holding up?" His voice snaps at me. His frown at me says I have maybe crossed the line from support to judgment in his mind. But there's a part of him that sees, even in that moment of irritation, that I am his friend. And I am trying to be there for him if he needs it. He might hide his pain, but he still says, "She cries a lot when she thinks I won't notice."

"Mate, that's gotta be rough."

"Nothing worse." But the moment breaks ... it has to. We are never gonna be Oprah fodder. "Well, except waking up to you in the morning ..."

"Fuck you."

"Thanks, man ... but I'm saving it for her ... schedule and all. Rain check?" And he flicks his butt over at me as I glare at him to keep from giggling.

"You wish. But if Heather needs me ..." It comes out like a chuckle, but it's made me think about something. I pause in our walk and he turns to glance at me. "Will tell you one thing weird though ... she's rubbing off on Annie, of all things."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Five minutes after I'm in the door last night, Annie's springing this new idea on me. Wants us to adopt, she says."

Dino's eyes open wide in this instant reaction before he can recover enough to put a smirk on his face. "Adopt?  You're too old..."

"Fuck off, old man. If you can still get it up. I've got years on you."

"Aww, honey ... you're such a romantic..." But he's searching my eyes for a clue as to how this has really caught me ... this notion of Annie's. Dino's the only person I've ever told that she can't have kids. He knows it's not been an issue before for us. He knows having kids has been the last thing either of us has thought about. Had thought about. Apparently, Annie's been thinking on it, hasn't she? "So this adoption thing?  She serious?"

"She says she is. But ..." I look off to where I fling my butt and watch the glow just as I grind it out on the sidewalk. "Dunno, Dino. She's never really seemed to want to have kids before. Think this is more about what she thinks I want."

He gives me that hum of his that's his mind revving up into overtime. "So, what do you want? Thought you'd hung up your diaper pins with Henry."

"I had. Thought it'd be the last thing I'd be facing with Annie, y'know? Not sure where this came from." I start walking again; a bitter note creeps into my voice. "What do I want? I'd settle for a wife at home when I'm there."

"Seems an odd time for her to be suggesting this, doesn't it? What with the promotion? You gonna stay home and be the househusband? You'd look great in a dress and curlers."

"Fuck you, Dino." He gets the full brunt of my anger. Not that he's the cause; but he sure as shit knows how to push my buttons. "Who the fuck knows? Ask her. She's calling the shots apparently for us both now."

"Bet you fucking love that."

I knew he'd seen it ... that look I hadn't been able to hold back when she announced to Heather and Dino about her promotion earlier in the day. Thank Christ it hadn't been Ann looking at me just then. She would have been furious. But Dino? He understood. What man likes being made to feel like he's incidental to the important decisions around his house? When she'd told me about it last night, it hadn't been presented to me like this was something we'd both decide on. Nah. She'd just told me she'd been promoted. That the magazine was changing her focus to the U.S.'s economic and trade issues in Europe. Don't think it even dawned on her that I should have been consulted before she said 'yes' to the promotion.

"You got it. Woulda been nice if she'd at least asked me before she fucked me over on this."

He gives me this little smile. He knows exactly where I'm coming from. "She's also the same woman who's thinking of adoption cause she thinks you might want to be a father again ..." I see the twinge he gets at the word 'father.' I feel for him. "... which I'll admit doesn't jibe well with taking a promotion, but I think she's trying."

Suddenly, it's the 'Ann-logic' of it all that amuses me. I can't help the little chuckle at her expense. "She's one of a kind, Dino. Never quite makes sense to me, but somehow I do know in her own way, she's trying. Y'know? It's just this fucking promotion ... y'got any idea what our lives are gonna be like now? Fuck. She'll be spending more time in Berlin and Paris than here. I'll be lucky to see her a week a month. Maybe. What kind of life is that?"

"King of frequent flyers?" His eyes sparkle and he pretends to think. "Now why does that sound familiar? Kind of life you used to have, if I'm not mistaken."

"Too fucking right. And look what it did to my marriage?"

"She wants this - enough to take it even if she thought it might piss you off.  Maybe you should bend a little on this one. We been saying we wanted to open a London office. If you're going to take up the veil- at least do it near her, man.... close enough for her to see what's under it once in a while."

I look hard at him. Why the fuck does he always get so reasonable just when I'm launching in on a rant? But what he's said ... it pulls me up short. "An office in London? Work out of there, y'mean?"

"Why not? We got clients there.... old contacts...."

Fuck. I hate when he has a fucking great idea that never occurred to me. I squint at him as I consider this. "It'd be good for us, wouldn't it?"

Dino gets this naughty glint in his eyes. "Ian would shit a brick. What's not to love?"

We cannot either of us stop the instant bout of giggles over that idea. "There is that."

"I'd pay good money to see his face."

"Y'know ... for a man with your limited brainpower, you may just have come up with a solution. Paris is only an hour away. And Berlin is what, two hours? We might see each other more often."

"Get fucked." He waggles his eyebrows at me. "Actually - you just might."

"And who knows ... maybe this can teach Annie a bit about priorities."

She needs to learn about compromise on the important things. So can I give her some rope to swing from? Let her see that I'm willing to sacrifice for no other reason than she wants something that she might resent me for if I stood in her way?

I have no doubt that I couldn't convince her to give it all up for me. Would I want that? Even if it was at the expense of her own happiness? But if I compromise here ... find a way to accommodate her professional dream ... will she learn that her independence is not as important as our unity? Maybe then she'll be ready to settle down with me and see that being in a constant state of missing each other should not be something we accept in life.

"So you both take up the veil or you both find some way to bend a little, man. A lonely bed's a lonely bed.... and besides, we all know you'll charm her in that shit way you have... try to make her miss your sorry ass."

"She likes my arse. What's not to like?" I smirk at him. It's like he reads my mind sometimes. Maybe we've been friends too long. Like we're an old married couple at times like this.

"Besides the dog bite?"

"Can I help it if even dogs like my arse?"

"Well, you have had your share of dogs, old man ... What can I say ..."

"You can say the fucking truth, Red. When's the last time any woman has looked at you instead of me?"

"Depends ... We all know you count the drunk ones ... and the dogs- which you've preciously mentioned..."

"Right. Tell ya what, mate. Little test, hey? Inside this store, let's see who the first woman smiles at. You. Or me. Loser buys the cigs."

At the store, we didn't make do with just the cigarettes I needed. We were walking past the candy aisle and realized we needed more for the trick or treaters that night. Women never get enough. They should let men do this shopping. I got an extra bag of lollies for me as I had this instant visual of Annie's mouth around one ... smiled at the memory of that smart remark she made earlier.

I glanced up and caught the eye of a tall, statuesque brunette beauty. She returned my smile. "Eat your fucking heart out Dino. Looks like I win ... just that easy," I whispered to him out of the corner of my mouth as I poked him to attention so he'd see the smile ... and the woman ... in question.

"She's smiling at me, you blind fuck."

"Get your eyes checked before the next mission, mate. Wasn't me who put a pumpkin through the glass ... And get your wallet out, ya cheap gint."

On the way back, we broke open the bag of Mary Janes. Dino said they'd been his favorite candy when he was a kid. But when I reached for another handful, he muttered out of the side of his mouth, "Fucking lot of candy you been packing away today."

"Me? Who's been the pixie on a sugar rush today? Heather's gonna start calling you sugar fuck if you don't slow down."

"You better start running again. I can't hike your lard-ass out of a jungle if you eat all that shit."

"Hike me?  Get fucked!"

He gave me that pixie giggle of his. "Done it how many times now?  We counting? I believe it's twice you owe me, man ..."

I smirked as he dodged the salvo of candy I chucked at his head and then got ready for him to retaliate. Instead we were laughing as we suddenly realized we were both of us on point and ready for mayhem with each other. Dino started walking again and told me he wished he'd known me as a kid because back then, Halloween had one purpose in his life: for him and his friends to pull pranks. He started listing them ... eggs smashed on cars, cherry bombs in mailboxes, burning bags of shit on front porches, soaped windows, smashed pumpkins ...

"You call those pranks?" I said, disgusted at the inane level of his imagination.

"It was fun ... different time, Terry. Nothing truly evil ... just fun for little boys." He turned and looked at me. This certain look he gets and I always know he's about to get me in trouble. But I also know I'll do whatever he is thinking up because to not do it would be ... well, impossible. Boys, eh? "Think you're man enough to pull a trick with me?"

"More than. I'm always up for a covert op, you know me," I said. Famous last words, hey?

"What shall we do and who shall we target? I know. Let's get Old Man Higgins. God, I hate his tired old ass. Always ragging on me about cutting my grass to the right length and making sure the leaves are raked," he said, jerking his head at this neat bungalow across the street from where we happened to be walking. "That's his house there. The fucking mustard yellow monstrosity."

"Right, but this has to be a good prank. Something fun and light ... but clever. Like us."

He rubbed a hand over his jaw and then got this evil grin. "Let's head back to the store."

A half hour later, we were walking out with the makings of the prank. About every cherry bomb the neighborhood toughs hadn't already claimed (decidedly unimpressive in terms of flash and bang potential), some fishing line, flashcaps, cotton thread ... you get the picture? A real McGyver moment, Dino said.

Didn't take us that long to rig up some booby traps in the old man's front yard. Dino said the old fart was a real arse with a nasty voice to match his nasty personality. A retired Army shit colonel to boot, Dino said. Inter-service rivalry, right? We set to work and made this path of destruction. All it would take was for him to come sauntering out of his house to get his afternoon newspaper when it was delivered ... and he'd walk into the trip wires and start the cherry bomb festival. He'd think he was in another firefight.

"You know, they arrest people over here for this shit these days," I said to Dino, leaning in to whisper near his ear as we huddled under a bush to watch our prank take place.

"I'm not the fucking Unibomber-- this little piece of shit isn't even going to dent his mailbox." Dino gave this sad glance at the cherry bomb over there and I know we were both wishing for real explosives for a real show.

Not five minutes after we heard the 'whump' of the newspaper hitting the driveway, the door popped open. Out comes this bloke ... grey hair in a buzz cut so sharp that Bud White would have wanted tips on proper hair styling. Crisp crease in his khaki's. Huge cigar clamped in his teeth. Rigid set to his jaw. Eyes steely blue as he glared up one side of the street and then down the other. Hands on his hips as he surveyed his domain. Then a long nasty look over at Dino's house followed by a head shaking in disgust.

"See? The bastard hates me."

He stepped off his front porch ... and then he hit the first trip wire. The cherry bombs went off ... boomp boomp boomp ... like someone was running through a minefield. We were each holding hands over our mouths to keep from laughing out loud as the old fart hopped around as each bomb went off ... his startled face turning red then blue then ...

"Jesus Fucking Christ!" Dino whispered as the old fart grabbed for his chest. A look of pure agony twisted the bloke's face. We both knew instantly what had happened.

"Fuck. We fucking gave him a heart attack. Fuck!"

We were scrambling instantly from our hiding place and running to begin CPR. Fuck. Isn't that our luck? Pull a prank and kill an old fart?

But just before we reached our objective, this heavy net fell down over our heads and we both tripped in it and fell in heaps to the ground as men jumped down from the tree limbs over us. They were all shouting at us at once. We were struggling to get free until we heard the old fart's foghorn voice yelling at us to kiss the grass and stay still if we wanted to live.

Didn't take him but one kick in each our arses to get us to follow his orders.

Once we were still, the old fart gave the four men around us the orders to get us to our feet. Off came the net; hands grabbed us and hauled us up.

"On yer knees, scumfucks," the old fart grunted out to us.

I looked at Dino and started laughing. Three men started whupping on my back and screaming at me to pay attention. I was on my knees as I realized ... we were outnumbered and they'd been laying in wait for us. I studied the four men ... shit. They were boys, really. But they were tough boys. All done in camo, wearing their paint with that distinctive pattern that ...

"Fuck, Dino. They're Rangers," I said out of the corner of my mouth.

"No shit, Sherlock," the redhead mumbles back at me.

"You girls done yet?" the old fart says to us, marching up and down before us. Then suddenly he whips his head around to fix us each with a glare. "Hands on yer heads. You know the fucking drill, you mamby pamby cunts."

Dino and I glanced at each other as we complied.

"I've been wanting to teach yer sorry Marine Corps bellhopper ass a lesson or two about disrespecting a retired Green Beret," the old fart says to Dino, his face inches from the redhead's red face.

Fuck. Green Beret. Rangers. Me stuck on the team with the damned Marine. "I'm SAS...," I tried.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Ya. No. Good. Motherfucking. Piece. Of. Aussie. Shit."

Right. That did it. I returned the old fart's glare and vowed revenge would be sweet and clever. As soon as he straightened up and walked over to where the Rangers were huddling, I glanced over at the redhead. Saw the evil in his eyes. Can't help it that I'm such a bastard to him, can I?

"Wasn't me I hoped was on my knees tonight, mate."

"Fuck off. Thought you were better than this, man. Getting slow in your old age."

"Wasn't my plan, mate, was it? You never were any better with tactical deployment than artillery trajectory."

"This wasn't a tactical deployment - this was a cluster fuck. ..." He paused and then this strangled groan from him. "Oh shit. Heather."

I glanced in the direction of where he was looking down the street. Heather and Annie striding from his house over to where we were. Heather carrying a wooden basket. Both of them madder than cut snakes. Dino did the classic husband weapon of last resort.

His voice goes all sweetness and love: "Hi, honey..."

ANN

The phone rang and Heather giggled. Then she rushed to the front window and said into the phone, "Yeah. I see them. What are they up to?"

More giggling. "You are such a sweetheart."

She waved me over and pointed out the window. I looked across the street, cattycorner from where their house was ... and saw ... our two men trying to sneak around the yard of this tasteful, neat pale yellow house. "What in God's name are they doing?" I asked but Heather was still giggling into the phone.

"Okay. We'll just watch from here. We'll come out when you've got them."

When she got off the phone, she told me what was going on. Seems their neighbor, owner of the yellow house, was a retired soldier. Heather and her old soldiers! I think she collects them like other people collect dolls or coins. She loves them to pieces and they love her right back. Anyway, this retired soldier found out Dino was a Marine. He's been razzing on him ever since. Dino hates the guy because he has no idea why the guy gives him such a hard time. But the guy is always there helping Heather when Dino's out of town.

Heather wanted to play a prank on Dino so she enlisted the guy's help. She knew Dino well enough to know he couldn't have made it through a Halloween without trying to pull a prank on someone. And since Terry would be there, she figured he'd pull a good one to get it out of his system. The old guy agreed and said he'd become such a pain in the ass to Dino that it'd be him Dino would target.

And target him they were. They were rigging up a minefield of cherry bombs. But the old guy, he had a grandson in the Rangers who had rounded up a few of his young, studly friends and they were going to help the old guy turn the tables on our two men.

So we watched it all happen. In fact, we pulled up chairs, cracked open more beer and just watched like we were at the movies. Andy was taking a nap, thankfully, because our attention was on the show across the road.

And then we saw it all happen ... the old guy faking a heart attack, the two men rushing in to save him, them being captured, those boys swinging out of the tree ...

"Damn. Would you look at that dark-haired one? Now that's a fine ass," I said.

"Prime beef," Heather agreed. "Look at the cute blonde."

We looked at each other. "Why do I suddenly feel like a dirty old lady?"

Once we saw they had the men kneeling and under control, we gathered up the caramel apples and roasted pumpkin seeds that Heather had put into a cute little basket to take over to the old guy and the young Rangers.

As we approached the scene of disgrace, we heard Dino ... "Hi, honey."

"Don't 'hi, honey' me," Heather says, sounding like a real bitch. Then she makes a show of batting her eyes at the old guy and the young Rangers. I might have joined her in the batting the eyes at the young Rangers bit. "Col. Higgins, I cannot apologize enough for what my husband and his friend have done. I've brought you a little treat in the hopes that I might impose on your good nature? If you'll release them to our custody, I assure you, they will pay a far worse penalty than you could ever impose on them."

I looked at Dino. His face was purple. I looked at Terry. He was trying hard not to laugh. That would never do. I whipped out my phone.

"Col. Higgins? Why don't y'all come pose with these bad boys so I can capture this moment for posterity?" I said sweetly and smiled at him. I heard these strangled noises from the men ... Dino pissed, Terry amused. I glanced at them. Smiled sweetly. "This is my new phone, Terry. Remember? The one with the ability to take a picture and then instantly email it out?"

His smug face turned stiff. "Annie ... I'm warning you, woman."

"That's right. Y'all come stand right close. Perfect," I said as I snapped the picture. Heather and I both studied it. Then I passed the pixels in front of Dino and Terry's faces. "Y'all look so cute! Imagine what your brothers would say if they got a load of this humiliation?"

"Annie ..."

"Oh! I know, let's get a picture with us as well, Ann," Heather chortled.

I handed the phone to one of the Rangers and leaned up on him to explain how to take a picture. One of each of us, I said. Make it impressive ... photographic evidence of each of our men on their knees before their woman. Hard to look at Terry when I said that because the death rays in his eyes might have done real damage to me. Once those pictures were captured, I showed them off all around. We all thought they were wonderful ... all but Terry and Dino, mind you. Terry tried to reach out and snag the phone from me when I held it near his nose but one of the Rangers saw that move coming and put a stop to it.

"Remember the day when you used to be able to take a man like that, you sad sack of shit?" Dino said. Then trying to ingratiate himself with his captors: "But then again, you're just a product of the British military system. Don't hold a candle to U.S. armed forces, eh, guys?"

"You never complain when it's putting dollars in your pocket, Rojo."

"Well, there is that." Dino giggled as he said it; he so loves razzing Terry.

As do I. As does Heather.

"So, boys, here are your options," Heather said. "Unless you wear the costumes I have assembled for you, Ann here will email these rather unflattering pictures to your nearest and dearest."

"Annie, don't even think it," Terry growled. God. That voice! I controlled the almost involuntary shiver.

"A few clicks of buttons and they're winging their way to everyone in your family unless you agree right here and now to Heather's conditions. And if you don't think I don't have their addies in here, think again. After all, I have excellent snooping skills, thank you very much."

Dino, in a stage whisper: "We are so fucked."

Terry, in full lethal voice: "I'll get you for this, Annie."

"Well ... yeah. I'm actually counting on that, my love," I smirked to him.

God. The look he gave me. This time, I couldn't control the shiver.

"That's enough of such talk to these lovely ladies," Col. Higgins stepped in to say. "If you men agree to their terms, I am prepared to release you to their custody. But I better not hear that you gave them so much as one bit of lip or I will tear you each new assholes ... Sorry, ladies, I apologize for the use of such crude language before you but it's necessary with such sorry turds as this."

I couldn't help giggling and caught Terry's now-amused eye. Yeah. A bit of cursing's going to bother me? Col. Higgins might lose in a curse-off with me.

After he set them free, Terry and Dino showed some real class. They grumbled as they should have but they also shook the hand of each of their captors. And Dino assured Col. Higgins that this was not the end. I think Dino had just found a new playmate.

And this was really why about two hours later, after we'd grilled hotdogs and hamburgers in the backyard for dinner, we were all dressed in the costumes Heather had assembled for us. Once it was fully dark outside, it took us about an hour to make the rounds of nearby homes for Andy to do his trick or treating. His little feet got tired long before the other boys with us had begged enough candy from women answering the doors they escorted Andy to as Heather and I stood in the street waiting on them. Whether it was a sweet young housewife or a matronly grandmother, the women just couldn't give up the candy faster to all three boys. Who could blame them?

Back at the house, Heather tried to stop Andy from digging into his candy, but Terry insisted it wasn't right that he didn't get to enjoy a few of the spoils of the night. It wasn't long before the sugar was making Andy bounce off the walls. That's when Terry and I looked at each other and knew it was time to get the hell out of there.

Besides. I wanted to get in the breeches of his costume and check out that package he'd been unable to keep from flaunting all night. And if the looks he was giving me were any indication, this wench look was turning him on.

"Yeah, that's right, you jerks. Take off and leave us now that you've got my son so doped up on sugar he'll never sleep," Dino said.

"Your son, mate. Your problem. I got better things to do tonight," Terry said as he grabbed in around my waist, turned me to him and bent me over with a kiss so deep and wet and long that I swear it took me five minutes to catch my breath afterwards. "Heather, love, always a pleasure. Andy, mate, go easy on your old man ... he's not what he used to be."

We were almost out the door when Andy struggled out of his dad's arms and rushed up to tug on Terry's ... well, on a rather inappropriate spot for a sugared-up young man to be too enthusiastic in yanking on. "Uncle Terry! No! Stay! Read me a story!"

"No, mate, time for your Uncle Terry to get his treats from your Auntie Ann."

"No! Story!" Shrieking it at the top of his lungs and flailing his little hands on Terry's big ... er. You know. The package.

Terry grabbed him up and gave me this look of regret. "One story, Andy. Then it's bed, right, mate?"

Andy was giggling at the top of his voice as Terry was walking him down the hall to his bedroom. Then Dino says, real loud, "Okay then, Tio, you got babysitting duty. I got wenching duty. Come here, wench o'mine. Let's see if it's true what they say you mermaids hide under your tail."

And with that, he grabbed Heather up in his arms and made a show of planting a kiss on her that curled her tail. And then he was stalking down to their bedroom, Heather in full blush and grinning at me over Dino's shoulder while Terry was groaning loud and ugly.

I plopped down on the couch to wait. Read a magazine. Waited. Long time. Maybe half hour. Not happy. Not feeling too thrilled to be delaying my own fun while down the hall, Heather was having hers. I hoped.

And then Terry came back out, his face in full scowl until he saw me and then he gave me this sheepish grin. "Other people's kids, eh?"

It made me laugh. I held my arms out to him. "If he's down for the night, how about we get down for the night? Take me home, bebe."

He sunk down before me and let me hold him. We were whispering against each other ... foreplay for our minds ...

"Ahem," we heard the redhead clear his throat.

Looked up. Rather surprised to see them standing there. No longer in their costumes. Rather odd looks to their faces.

Terry's eyebrows went up.  He gave Dino this knowing look. "Well, mate.....That puts a whole new spin on 'trick-or-treat' now doesn't it?"  Bit of a sugar induced giggle from Terry.  Dino affected a dirty chuckle and a proud swagger.  Heather blushed full out. "Lucky boy...."  His swagger got worse.  Terry shook his head and mused, "Poor girl...."

Dino smirked and rubbed his forehead with his middle finger but his smile didn't quite touch his eyes.  Terry pulled that face he does that always cracks me the hell up.  Heather rubbed her arms self-consciously, mumbled something almost incoherent about needing to go check on Andy and hoping we'd just see ourselves out and what a great day it had been. Then she disappeared down the hall.

Terry and I exchanged glances and raised eyebrows. Dino pretended he didn't notice. But I caught this pointed look between Dino and Terry as they shook hands goodbye and made plans for meeting up in their office the next morning.

TERRY

Safely home, but still feeling a bit keyed up, I decided a nightcap was in order. She hopped up on the kitchen counter next to where I was grabbing snifters from the cabinet. The sudden movement caught me by surprise ... her breasts jiggling in that low-cropped peasant blouse made me grin at her. Leaned over to give a brief kiss to the top of each mound.

"I'm worried about them," she said.

"They're fine," I said and smoothed a hand down her jaw. So like her. 

"Did you notice how they didn't touch each other that much today? I mean, it used to be that they'd always be holding hands or rubbing arms or ... you know?"

I frowned. Yeah. I knew. And I'd noticed. "They were a bit subdued. It's tough on them. Tough on Dino for sure."

"Tough on Heather, too. Believe me."

We just stood there, resting against each other, worrying about our friends. Our best friends.

"Can we talk about the adoption bit again, Terry? I mean, have you thought any more about it?"

"Nothing to talk about. You want it, we'll do it. But we're not doing it for me. Got it?"

She stiffened against me, moved like she wanted down but I put my hands on either side of her hips and just stared her out. Finally her hands captured my face and she studied my eyes. "It just seems to me that you'd want to be a father if you could. I want you to have that chance. This seems like a way we could do that."

"Look, Annie, that's not a reason to adopt. Not a good enough one." My words sounded harsh. It's not that I was upset, it's just - she wasn't letting this go. Wasn't sure where it had even come from. "You're the one who doesn't have a child. How's that feel to you?"

She blinked and looked away from me. I waited her out. Finally: "It's not a big deal to me. I'm not sure I'd be a good mother but I'm willing to try if it's what you want. I want you to be happy."

"What made you think I'm not?"

"You like kids."

"So do you." 

"Sure, other people's kids."

Our eyes met and we both chuckled. "Right. Same here. It's always nice being with Andy but it's also nice knowing we can leave him with his parents at the end of the day."

Her fingers worried around my lips and her eyes watched as my mouth captured one of her fingers and sucked. This shy grin from her. "If things were different, would you want children with me? If I could have them, I mean."

"Yeah. I would."

"But not adopting with me?"

"It's different. I'm not opposed to adopting. Rather like the idea of helping some kid we'd give a better life to. But I've been a father. I know more of the realities of how it changes your life. With my job, you'd be left to raise the child. You ready to give up your career for that? Not sure I'm eager to be an absentee father again. But if you ever have a burning desire to be a mother, then Annie, I'll move heaven and earth to make it happen for you."

"I worry that being married to me isn't bringing you what you want in life - like maybe I should ..."

"Annie ... baby. Listen to yourself. How many more fucking ways do I have to say this?" I said with this growl of exasperation. "No marriage is perfect. But ours is a good one, isn't it? Having a child doesn't cement a marriage. It is not a guarantee that it's going to last. I had a more traditional marriage the first time ... stay at home wife, child ... didn't work, did it? It's up to both of us, Annie, to make this marriage what we want it to be. Are you happy being married to me?"

Her eyes instantly flashed wide and her voice was heated. "Of course I am. I've never been happier in my life, Terry! How could you even ask me that?"

"Then what's the sudden concern about babies?"

"Seems like everyone around us is having kids or trying to have them. Gets a girl to thinking. Gets this girl to worrying. You're so important to me and I want you to be happy."

"I am happy. I'm in love with my wife. What could be better?" There are things that could be better, but this wasn't the time for that discussion.

She reached her arms around my neck. I tucked her into my body. She feels small and fragile when I hold her like this. She can be so tough and so formidable to others but with me, she is willing to show her vulnerabilities. It makes me want to protect her from any harm.

"You seem less than thrilled with my promotion, though," she whispered suddenly.

Fuck. I hate how she does things like that. Wanting to force me to talk this kind of shit out. "I'm proud of you, Ann. Big thing, eh? Just needed a moment to get the changes it's going to mean for us."

I gave her this little squeeze and then eased out of her hold. Went into the bar and poured a bit of cognac in the snifter. Stood there and savored that first sip. Looked into the kitchen and saw her just sitting there on the counter. Not looking at me. Looking down at her bare feet. The way she watched them swiveling in the air. Concentrating. And I knew her well enough to know she was thinking hard on something, worrying it around in her mind.

But then she drew herself up straight; turned to look at me. I saw this slow, evil grin spread across her face. I leaned a hip against the bar and waited. She slithered down off the counter and walked bare-foot across to where I was. She was still decked out in her wench attire ... this white peasant blouse with its low gathered neckline and a full emerald skirt topped by a black bustier-type thing that pushed her breasts up high. I had studied that shirt all night ... had noted how easy it would be to untie the small bow at the neckline and loosen the top so that it would fall down her shoulders. Had imagined the flesh it would reveal.

She was standing so close that I could have touched her. But I didn't. I took another sip. Then her fingers flitted down the damned ruffles of the ridiculous shirt Heather had put on me.

"Trick? Or treat?" she purred out to me. I felt a stirring down below. I loved this voice of hers.

Kept my expression carefully neutral. Slid my hand inside my pocket and pulled a lolly out. One of those Tootsie Roll things I know she likes. Grape flavor. Presented it to her with a flourish.

Her eyes sparkled at me. "Oh. A treat. Well, then I guess I won't have to play a trick on you."

I watched as she unwrapped the lolly and made a show of putting it between her lips. Swallowed hard as she began to lick and suck on it. She started wandering around in front of me, making her skirt twirl around her hips ... like she was teasing me with the view of how she moves.

"You know how sexy you looked on your knees today, bebe?" she said.

"That your fantasy, Annie? Me on my knees before you?"

"Wasn't so much the kneeling bit as it was the submissive but angry bit," she giggled. "Why don't you come take a seat on the couch and let me see if I have any treats for a submissive, angry boy like you?"

But before I could take a seat, she was standing before me and her hands were on the buttons of the stupid breeches that Heather had made me wear. I'd get my sweet Heather back for this someday. Felt that coarse through my blood as I stood and waited patiently as Ann pretended to be struggling with the buttons ... her hands smoothing over the growing bulge in the breeches. I could be patient while she teased. For a while.

Finally, she pulled the breeches down my hips and her hand on my chest pushed me down onto the sofa. Making a show for me as she slunk down to her knees, her hands resting on my legs, smoothing up my thighs as she settled into place and continued to suck on that lolly. Her eyes on my hardness, exposed to her gaze and wanting to change places with the lolly. She took more time, languid in her work to get the boots and breeches off. Leaving me sitting there in nothing but the open silly ass ruffled shirt. Liked how she looked at me. Spread my legs to show her what I wanted her attention on was not the shirt, however.

She sat back on her heels, one hand twirling the lolly stick as her pink tongue licked it up, the surface glistening wet from her saliva. Her cheeks hollowing in as she sucked ... and it was like I could feel the way her mouth would feel on me just then ... what that tongue should be doing ... I leaned forward, grabbed hard behind her neck and hauled her in close. Yanked the hand with the lolly out of the way, dove in for a kiss, tasted that slight grape candy flavor mixed in with her natural sweetness. Heard this rumble that came from me ... the need of her.

"You've had enough sugar to last you for a while," she whispered as she pushed me back from her and went back to sucking on the lolly.

My hand stroked my hardness as I leaned back into the cushions. Damn, the way she could make me feel needy. Ready. Wanting. "How about sucking on this instead?"

That little chuckle she does ... it is pure Annie. She knelt up, snugging up between my knees. Leaning in. Taking the lolly from her mouth and ... somehow, I knew that would be too easy on a night like this. Not when it was obvious she wanted to play a bit. Instead of putting her lips on me, she ran the wet lolly's surface along my penis. Rolling it over it, from root to tip. I saw her eyes glinting as she watched what she was doing. She'd stop at the end of each trip up and lick on the lolly some more, wetting it again. By the time she finished, my penis was covered in this fine sheen of sweet sugary candy coating.

"Now, the question is, is this a treat for me or you?" she said as she looked up into my eyes and gave me a smirk.

"Definitely for you, love."

"All for me?"

"All of it. Every inch." She bit her lip and seemed to ponder that until I growled at her and pointed down. "Lick me up."

"Oh, you are such a bad boy."

"Just like you like me, Annie girl."

"Absolutely." The word came out on a breath and the next thing I knew, she was licking me ... humming a satisfied sound of contentment. My head rested back on the couch and I could only keep one eye fastened on her as she bent over and took me inside her warm mouth.

Try to keep still ... but she likes it when I'm not able to so I give into that impulse to just be a bit wilder with her. Must be the remains of serious sugar rush inside me. I want to simply fuck her; I fight the urge to knock her over on her arse and rip into her.

Rip into her. 

Both eyes close and I get this visual image of that ... ripping her bodice down ... exposing her breasts ... the way her breathing would change ... the way she'd cry out to me ... Shoving her skirt up ... ripping her knickers from her ... the smell of her full arousal would drive me insane in a moment like that and I'd barely manage to not maul her in my desire to possess her. Christ ... I will come too fast if I cannot get hold of myself.

ANN

Somehow, this issue of being good enough for Terry still hangs on for me. Sometimes, I think it's all in my head, my own little neurosis that springs from my past. Other times, I think I have cause to wonder if he wouldn't prefer me to be a different type of woman. He loves me, I know that. But does he like me? No, I know he does ... but would he like me more, would he love me more if I was less work for him?

It's why I still worry over this baby issue. Or rather, this non-baby issue. He's so into the only child that's really in his life ... Andy. He's so intrigued and happy that Dino and Heather are trying for a child of their own. It makes me concerned that some day he's going to look around and feel like he missed out on the chance to be a father again. But in this night, just that little chat with him, I realize that I am simply going to have to believe him.

If it's really not that big of an issue for him, then I have to let it go. I have to trust him that he'd tell me if he wanted us to be parents.

It's also why I worry when he seems to think I've made an inappropriate choice. Like this promotion. Ever since I told him about it, he's been ... well, not exactly cold but luke-warm. It's a huge deal to me and he knows it. But his face when I first told him ... he looked away from me and the only thing he asked at first was, "Will this mean you travel more?"

I had said, "Yeah. It will. I'll be in Europe a few weeks each month, probably. Maybe less sometimes. Is that a problem?"

"When will we see each other?"

"But Terry, you're gone so much now that really this won't ... I'm sorry, that wasn't a complaint. What I meant is, you're gone on average about that much, aren't you? And this only adds about a week each month to my travel. And I don't know if I'll even hack it on this new assignment, frankly. I may fail miserably. In which case, we're talking only a few months when we might not see each other a few days more than we already don't."

"You won't fail. You'll knock them on their arses, Annie." His eyes came back to mine and I saw that he'd decided to be supportive on the surface but somewhere in those eyes was doubt and concern. His tough voice and I knew he was fighting hard not to turn this into a rip-roaring fight. "But I am less than thrilled that you don't see the problems this could cause for us. Had thought you were thinking about backing off the travel so you'd be home when I was."

"I was. But this opportunity ... Terry, this is a big chance for me. Can't you be happy for me instead of trying to get me to compromise my career for you?"

His eyes flashed at me. "Compromise? You?"

"What have you ever compromised on your job for me? But, hey, that's okay because you're the man, right? Fine. You want a subservient wife, then I'll be one. You say the word and I'll turn this down," I snapped out to him, my voice harsh and angry.

We had glared at each other. This was just on the cusp of returning to an argument we'd had a few months back ... him coming home for the second time in a row to find me on a rush assignment on the road. Him thinking that his need to find me at home, waiting on him, was a hell of a lot more important than me doing the job I was paid to do. Me thinking that he wanted me to stop being me ... to change into a woman who'd enjoy waiting at home for him. Me wishing I was that woman sometimes because it might have been easier. Me foolishly saying I'd find a way to lessen the business travel so there'd be more chance I'd be home whenever he was between missions. Me tiding us over in the meanwhile by increasingly traveling to where he was on weekends or wherever he was when I could detour after trips for the magazine. Us both hoping that could resolve the argument but there we were about to launch right back into the heart of it.

But something had happened in the flash of that moment as we glared at each other. I'd blinked. Then I'd said the same words ... only this time, they were soft and searching ... and they gave him permission to discuss this with me rather than fight about it: "You say the word and I'll turn this down."

Then he'd blinked and his glare gave way to that searching look of his. He'd shook his head, put his hand on my cheek and said, "You earned this promotion. I'm proud of you. You deserve this chance. Just remember who's always going to be wanting to be with you as much as he can."

But I was pretty sure that he wasn't happy with this choice I made to accept the promotion.

And, yet, in this day of golden moments in time for us, things seemed so much more doable. I relished how we'd played all day. I cherished seeing that carefree boy part of him that turned me to liquid. I panted over witnessing that purely masculine male animal part of him that turned me on and never let me know a moment's peace before I could have him alone with me.

So I'd been sitting on that counter and absorbing his honesty regarding his non-issue of him being a father again. And it had overwhelmed me ... what a gift he is. So realistic about things like that even if he is unreasonable enough to both want me to remain the woman he married and yet wishing I'd just stop having a career so he'd have a more settled home life. His complications and complexity ... his irrational parts and his giving nature. How he knows what's important to him. And what's important to him is me. Sure, I am realistic enough to know that given his druthers, he'd love nothing more than for me to be at his beck and call. Who wouldn't? I'd like the same thing from him. But just as I would never change him just to get that, he wouldn't change me just to get it.

And then I'd looked over at him, standing at the bar, studying his cognac. Fuck all. He was sex defined. Heather had outfitted him in white breeches that ... damn. What a man.

So here I am. On my knees before him. Licking him up ... absorbing the scent of his aroused body ... tasting the essence of his manhood. Feeling like I am never really more of a woman than in a moment like this with him. Knowing I love the power we hold over each other ... the way we love.

And just as I feel his thighs beginning to tense, his fingers are touching my chin and he's got a hand over mine on his shaft and he's muttering dark words at me. Telling me to come to him. I look up into his eyes and they are plastered on my breasts, which are lolling about inside this low-cut, gathered blouse. I crawl up in his lap and he's got his hands on my forearms, dragging me in to him for a kiss ... and my wetness is already seeking his hardness.

He comes growling out of a kiss that's made me lose concentration. "No treat. Not for you. Not yet."

He's holding me tight ... keeping my body lifted over his lap ... not letting me sink down over his cock. "I want you, bebe," I moan.

"Not yet." He says it rough but it makes me smile shyly at him as he sits me gently on his knees. He grabs the lollipop from my hand and then slowly sucks it into his mouth, letting me watch his tongue lap the sweet surface.

"Oh my," I whisper to him as he then takes it, wet, glistening with spit, from his mouth and rolls its smooth surface over the top of my breasts. He leans in to lick the sweetness from my skin and I lean back and enjoy how his hands manipulate me. I enjoy the sound of him enjoying sucking in on my flesh. I could revel forever in how his mouth feels on me.

I hear this rip and my eyes open to find him diligently ripping the shirt's neckline asunder and then yanking my bra down, exposing my breasts, which he's gathering into his two big paws. I've been wet for so long but this show of brute strength and desire makes me gush and I am panting as he devours my nipples, one at a time ... but fast like he's ravenous for me.

And then it's like being caught up in his gale force desires. He's muttering to me of wanting to fuck me so hard and deep that I'll still be coming next week. I'm pleading for him to give it to me so good ... to put me out of my misery because I am in such need of him. His hands are now on my thighs, shoving my skirt up; my hands are clenched around his head, keeping his face in my breasts. Another rip ... I feel my panties give way and his finger is searching for entry. It's rough in its urgency and I whimper as it shoves its way in only to be joined by a companion finger ... then another and I cry out to him.

His hands on my hips and his mouth on my neck. My hand on his cock and my mouth on his ear. Mutual objective. Him inside me. Me over him. Loud whimper from each of us and we stop. Then start up. Slow at first. The calm before the storm. Gathering force. Waves beginning to build up. Storm clouds. Force of nature. Gale force screams from me as I buck fast fast faster against him and feel myself coming coming coming. Final white noise from him as he pumps pumps pumps so fucking strong in his thrusts and he's coming into me with a fury of pure him.

Abandon.

It's something I love about him. How he makes me feel the abandon. How he makes sure I know he feels the abandon, too. And then how he helps us both come back from there.

We are snuggled into each other ... my face buried in his neck ... his head lolling against mine ... his arms wrapping me up ... my hands smoothing over his hair and shoulders.

"About this promotion," he finally says to me, his voice deep and uncompromisingly generous. "We can make it work. Talked to Dino about it."

"About what?"

"He's always wanted us to have an active London office ... No reason this can't actually work well for me and you in the process.  I'll start working out of there while you're in Europe working. See each other on weekends."

His words make my heart bounce in my chest. I draw myself up from where I've been buried in him. Shove my hair out of my face and study his eyes. "You'd do that for me?"

A frown but then a smile as his fingers outline my lips. "Yeah, sweet baby. For you. But also for me. We have to make seeing each other a priority. Right? Will you promise me that you'll make it your priority?"

"Absolutely. God damn, but that really would make it easier on us both, wouldn't it? You're brilliant." Tears are stinging my eyes.

A chuckle as his eyes leave mine only to come sweeping back up to me with a new light in them. "Well, you owe Dino big time. It was his idea. So we'll see how it works out, right? And if it doesn't, you'll be willing to look at a compromise. Right?"

"Right ... Have I remembered lately to say how much I love you?"

I fall into his body and cry against his shoulder. Hugging him in hard and him hugging me in harder. And allowing myself to realize, for the first time, that I am scared of failing in this new promotion but with his support, I'll not give up without a fight.

The things we don't see for trying to see it all. Like the big picture is more than just the sum of all the details.