It was awkward at first. Jack fussed around, offering her a glass of Scotch, spilling a little as he poured, and talking too much without making much sense. Joan stood up and pushed him back into a chair, sitting on his knee. "Relax, Jack. Relax...take your time. We've got all night, you know?"

He swallowed hard and grimaced.

"It's not meant to be an ordeal, you know? We just let it happen. Kiss me. You've never even kissed me yet."

She reached down and softly touched his lips with her own, nibbling gently. He responded immediately, a sensuous kiss, open mouthed and deep, his tongue flickering against her lips and darting in when she gave him access. He murmured a low unconscious purr of pleasure and she smiled into the kiss. He tasted good. He felt good, too.

Her hands explored his shoulders and the muscles of his broad back; Jack was deceptive dressed; underneath his clothes she could feel the evidence of a powerful frame. The hard lean strength beneath her fingers made her wet. She instinctively ground against his groin and was rewarded by the rub of a large hard cock. It was her turn to whimper.

Forcing herself from his lips as his hands wandered freely now over her curves, she put her hands on his shoulders and drew back. "Jack...I have to do something...Can you give me moment?"

He seemed confused, frowning at her words. "Do something?"

"My cap. I need to...you know..."

Jack blushed and looked down. "Right...of course...I've got some...you know...I was prepared..."

She grinned. "S'okay, sport. I'll take charge of that. Better for you then? But it's a bit embarrassing..." She stood up; Jack turned his back and stood at the other side of the room while she went to the bed, opened her purse and took out the little box. It didn't take her long and then she straightened her dress. Her knickers she rolled up and stuffed in her purse along with the empty container. No need to make things harder for him than necessary.

"Jack?"

He turned and watched her as she sat back on the bed, the hem of her dress pulled up and her naked shapely legs on show. His hard on was beginning to throb and it was uncomfortably arranged in his trousers. Joan extended a hand and called him over. "Come over here. Sit down."

She waited until he was perched on the end of his bed and then turned her back, offering him her zip. "Please..."

She felt his hands hover and then he took the head of the zip and slowly eased it down, slipping both hands into the open dress and stroking down her naked sides. Then he gently lowered the straps until it fell about her waist. Moving back to face him, she let him stare at her breasts clad in a flimsy satin bra; it was too hot here for petticoats. He extended a hand and softly cupped her breasts. "Can I see them?" he said almost inaudibly, his normal youthful voice suddenly taking on a new lower register. Joan reached behind and unfastened the hooks, pulling the garment away and letting her heavy breasts fall free.

She saw his eyes respond and recognised the corresponding effect in his groin; he moved awkwardly as if he were uncomfortable. One look down showed her that he clearly was. "You, OK? Jack?"

He winced. "Doing my best. You're a beautiful woman, Joanie. I'm nearly there already just looking at you." They both smiled at his honesty.

"Take it slow. Tell me if you're near. We'll stop and just take a few deep breaths...but Jack, it doesn't matter...if you come...you're young...you'll be ready again in no time..."

He groaned. "I feel like a bloody fool. What must you think of me?" She took his hands and placed them back on her naked breasts.

"I think you're pretty fine, Jack Corbett, or I wouldn't be here." His fingers closed over her and she fell back against the pillows pulling him with her. He buried his head against her chest and kissed each nipple, sucking and tasting as she held his head and stroked his hair. Jack rubbed his aching shaft against the smooth skin of her legs and ran his hand beneath her skirt to venture up to the warm place at the top of her thighs. He glided over the silken flesh until he reached soft curling hair. At that he moaned and rested his hand over her sex, the heat emanating against his open palm. She was already moist; he longed to inhale her and taste her on his tongue. He had never done that to any woman before.

Rising from her, he pulled her dress down over her legs, a little roughly now, impatient to see her. Joan lay there passively and let him look, then parted her legs so that he could see her. "Oh God..." he muttered.

"Jack...look at me...take a breath...I want to see you, too...take your clothes off. Let me help you..."

He obeyed her as if in a dream, standing up while she knelt before him on the bed and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it from his square shoulders. The white singlet stood out against his tan - he filled it well - but she grabbed that and shrugged it over his head carelessly, picking up his urgency now. He reached for her and fondled her breasts, nipping at her face and ears as she struggled to undress him. "Jack...concentrate...your boots....come on...!"

She giggled and he smiled, bending to toe them off and pull off his socks. Rising he went for his belt and zipper, pushing down his trousers as she helped him. Suddenly he forgot about his anxiety and embarrassment. Joan appraised him as he stood there in his shorts and her eyes glazed at the sight of his perfect young body and the ridge of his impressive erection straining awkwardly... "And the rest, mate!" she teased, flicking the waistband. "We need to get that out of prison before it does you an injury!"

With a bashful grin, he pulled down his shorts and straightened up to find her staring straight at his cock, no sign of embarrassment. Her fingers reached out and she cupped his balls, weighing their heft in her small left palm while her right gripped his shaft and stimulated him with a practised ease. She knelt back up and kissed his lips tenderly. "You've got a beautiful cock, Jack. You should be proud of that fella!"

He wasn't sure if she was just saying that to make him feel good, but for whatever reason, it worked. He did feel good. Suddenly he stopped feeling like a shy kid and began to feel like a man; a big strong man desired by this lovely woman. His shoulders automatically stood taller and he moved more assertively against her grasp, jerking his hips to gain more stimulation, showing her what he wanted.

Taking her head in his hand he pulled her closer, kissed her more lewdly now, mauled her full breast and tweaked on the hard bud of her nipple. He heard her sigh and the corresponding tightening of her grip. For a moment he thought he would come, grunting with the effort to stop himself and pulling her hand away. Joan recognising his distress instantly and stopped, squeezing his balls to restrict his ejaculation. The danger passed and they both grinned. "Close one!" he muttered. She giggled and bent to place a kiss on his weeping slit, licking up the clear fluid and then eyeing him seductively.

"It tastes as good as it looks, Jack." 

He groaned again. "You want me to last or not, love?" He smiled.

Joan shrugged. "Don't matter. One look at this fella and a feel of those big balls tells me there's a lot more where that comes from."

"Too right!" Jack teased and tossed her back onto the bed to fall in next to her. He felt free and unfettered by convention. Joan's attitude, while hardly slutty, was liberating to a young man brought up in strict middle class home where keeping up appearances and moral outrage at those who stepped outside the norms were typical. But a young man still feels desire and needs to know that the woman he is with wants him as much as he wants her. The euphoria of her free spirit was infectious and, in this place where so much horror had occurred, it seemed right that joy and pleasure should reassert itself.

Side by side, they lay and touched each other, hands exploring the soft curves and hard planes. Jack played with the curls of her pubic hair as she lay, legs parted in almost innocent display, unashamed for him to see her naked sex. For her part, she caressed and stroked his cock, easing his velvet skin back and forth and stimulating the sensitive head. They took it slow and easy, no fumbling and hiding under sheets. Joan did not make him feel as if they were doing something shameful, dirty.

It was hot in the room, especially with the mosquito netting pulled round the bed, a sensuous veil on their private heaven. The table fan that whirred across the room barely touched them in their arbour. Sweat gathered on bodies already heated by arousal and proximity, perspiration beaded across their backs and ran down their naked chests, its salty tang somehow adding to the erotic charge.

Games moved on; Jack's urgent desire was moving him from shy young man to assertive male. He moved over her thrusting now and frotting himself against the wet slickness, his head slumped down, dipping to take her lips and mimic the action with his tongue that his penis longed to do. She whispered: "Lie on your back!" and Jack rolled over while she rose to straddle him. "It's better for you like this - deep for me and a little less quick for you- gravity, you know?" she teased.

He moaned out loud as he watched her part her own sex and ease his aching tip into the mouth of her vagina. The action mesmerised his eyes as the friction of her tight wetness entrapped his burning cock. He watched as he disappeared inside her body to be swallowed up until they were joined, her dark golden curls pressed against his coarser brown hair. The visual experience was almost as heady as the physical sensation.

Joan rested atop him, let him settle while she fondled her own breasts and then raised his hands to tend to them. As he did, she leaned forward and let them fall, the heavy weight encased in his large palms, resting her hands lightly on his shoulders and beginning to rise up and down, tightening and loosening rhythmically against him. She shivered as he filled her and his tip kissed her womb, his girth enough to stimulate her tender places and stretch her strong walls. His eyes flickered momentarily as he gritted his teeth and stayed with her, suddenly dropping his hands from her breasts to seize her buttocks, squeezed roughly and began to jerk against her movement. He was beginning to want to take the lead, and she smiled at his instinctive masculinity.

The silence of the room, broken by the creaking of the fan and the distant buzz of a lone mosquito, was punctuated by the gasps and moans they uttered as they drove each other closer and closer. Joan dropped her right hand and parted her lips to scoop some of the wetness gushing from her and rub her clitoris. He wasn't ready for that yet. Let him enjoy himself for now.

She felt her climax near, the itchy burn of the tingling knot of nerves rising as his thick cock pounded her sensitive core. With a cry, she felt herself reach the crescendo, waves of release pouring over her as she lost her beat and slumped forward to hold him; he reacted, caught her rolled over and took over, slipping back inside in a strong thrust and over powering her.

The air was heady with the smell of sex, sweat, flowery perfume, the fragrance of the hair cream he used; all mixed in some erotic scent that would always remind her of this time. She felt that moment when Jack seemed to find his mastery and her body became like an instrument he could suddenly play with skill. Holding her hips securely with one hand, caressing her breast with another, he plunged in and out, his body tensed, all the muscles defined, shiny with the sheen of perspiration, glorious young male with the scent of conquest in his nostrils. Roles suddenly reversed in that eternal moment when the sexes are both united and separated by their gender and different urges. He needed to struggle and thrust; she could only wrap herself around him and let him go.

Scarcely recovered from her wild orgasm of moments before, she felt herself rise again as Jack stiffened in her arms, gave a deep rumble and shuddered over and over into her. His final lunge, just as he collapsed against her, took her there and she trembled as her body responded in its own violent dance of pleasure. For a time they lay panting heavily, heads spinning with the sensation until Jack's brain cleared sufficiently to realise she was crushed. His cock softened and slipped out as he flopped onto his back with a loud sigh of contentment.

Joan snuggled up against him and interlocked her legs through his, longing to retain the closeness as he gathered her against him, her head resting on his chest and her fingers walking down his smooth young belly. His cock lay semi-hard and glistening; she jammed her own legs together to keep the sticky residue from dripping onto the sheet below her, and murmured in pleasure. "Oh, God, Jack...that was so good..."

"Yeah? You mean it? I mean it was good for me...I mean really good...I never felt anything like that before...but, maybe I came too soon...?" he said, concern evident in his voice.

Joan laughed softly. "Didn't you feel what happened to me? Or were you too caught up in it all? Jack...that was good sex! I was ready and I came. What more does a woman want from a man?" She gently picked up his flaccid cock and gave it a playful squeeze. "And you got a head start on most blokes."

"Yeah?" Jack grinned, his pride obvious. "Big enough?"

She turned over on her front and crawled up his body to take his face in her hands. "Jack...bigger than most. You don't have to worry. It's long enough and what's more important...thick enough...that's what counts most, you know?"

"Is it? Jesus...I don't know anything about women!" He chuckled and reached for a packet of cigarettes on the cupboard by the bed. "You want a smoke?"

"Sure. Wasn't your first time, though was it?" Joan asked as he sat against the headboard and lit up, inhaling deep and then passing it to her while he lit another for himself. She curled up by him. He shook his head. "I wasn't a virgin but..." he grinned to himself as he took a drag. "...I'm a bit of a novice. Just been my girlfriend..." he suddenly went silent. She was his ex-girlfriend now.

"Sorry, shouldn't have mentioned it. Feeling guilty?"

Jack smiled ruefully. "Guilty? Bloody hell, no! She gave me the old heave-ho the other day. 'Dear John' letter, ya know?"

Joan blew out smoke and raised her eyes. "Bad luck. What happened?"

He filled her in. She rolled onto her back and lay looking at the ceiling pensively. "She's right. If it couldn't last this - it wouldn't have worked in the long run. That's what this is about though? Getting your revenge on women? You going to go through the ranks like a dose of salts now to prove your manhood?"

Jack groaned. "Ah, Joanie...that's not why you're here! I don't want you to think like that! It's just that...something you said. I've always done it by the book, ya know? Worked hard at school, reasonable sportsman, good degree, respected girls and didn't touch one till I was I was engaged. Feels like a bloody joke now." He rolled onto his side and stroked her face with his hand. "The world's gone fucking mad and my fiancée's up the spout by some older bloke...sorry, I shouldn't have sworn...Joanie... I want to live, too. Take my chances now. Sick of being the good little boy who never steps out of line..." He let his hand wander sensuously over her nakedness. "I'm not just using you to make myself feel better. I wanted you before. I was just trying to do the right thing. It doesn't matter anymore. Anyway...this feels like the right thing. Righter than anything else in my life at the moment..."

Joan covered his hand with hers and raised it to her lips. "You're a nice bloke, Jack. And you're good in bed. You won't be a novice anymore, that's for sure. Tell me about her. Your girl."

"Maggie?" Jack took a last drag and stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray. He pulled a photograph of her from the drawer in the cupboard where he had thrown it. Joan took it from his hands and looked at the pretty dark-haired girl.

"Lovely girl."

"Yeah." He lay down again and nestled  against her back, wrapping her in his arms and resting his chin on her head. " I met her at high school. Childhood sweethearts. Our parents were friends and it was the perfect match. We both studied in Adelaide- me at the Uni, she at the training college. She's a primary school teacher by profession. It was gonna be smooth sailing: the families were delighted when we announced out engagement. I had a junior partnership waiting for me in my uncle's law practice, she was going to teach at a school near where we wanted to buy a house."

He laughed to himself. "Ya know? Like a fairy tale." He lit up another cigarette. "We would save up until we had enough in the bank and my career was established, marry and she'd give up her job, keep house for me, have my babies...Jesus Christ..." he shook his head; Joan leaned back against him.

"I like order, certainty...probably why I chose the law. Its logical patterns appealed to me. Other blokes wanted excitement. I thought a career would do it for me. Then the war came along so I joined up like everyone else. You got to do your bit, hey? Got myself a cushy posting to the War Office, ranked Lieutenant, stationed in Canberra. No chance of even a sniff of action. Lucky me.  Maggie joined up too - she's an AWAC- and got posted to Canberra as well. Press office. There we were safe postings and together. Golden boy and girl, hey? While all the other buggers give their all and all the girls are left behind." He sounded bitter.

"Wasn't your fault. Everybody has their part to play..." Joan began.

"Yeah...but who decides whose part it is to be beaten to death or beheaded and who gets to sit in an office and sharpen fucking pencils?"

Joan turned in his arms and kissed him softly. "Hey, hey, hey! Some of us have to make it, Jack! The whole world can't be wiped out!"

He shrugged. "The best are gone. Just us useless bastards left."

"That's not true! Don't glorify the dead, Jack, just because they're dead. Most of them were ordinary blokes. Some were brave, some weren't. That's the real tragedy. It's pretty mundane and sordid really - not some noble thing. Don't fall for the propaganda. We need good men in the future too, you know?"

At that he smiled and held her close, nibbling at her ear and interweaving his legs closer with hers. "...So there we were living under our lucky star, on bases near each other and safe as houses. I reckoned that now we were away from home - let's face it we were engaged - it might change things between us. Frankly I wanted to sleep with her so bad it was on my mind all the time. Blokes at the base- they talked about getting their leg over all the time. There were plenty of girls hanging round the place, not to mention the women stationed with us. Live for today, everyone was saying. All the old certainties meant nothing now. But Maggie wasn't hearing of it. She thought we should wait until we got married. She was innocent and I wasn't going to push her, ya know?"

"Why didn't you just do what the other boys did? Go with a tart? Pay for it?" Joan asked.

"I didn't want my first time to be like that. I wanted to be faithful. It seemed like it mattered, you know?" He laughed bitterly. "Reckon it was me she didn't fancy. Didn't seem to mind when this other bloke came sniffing round..."

"...She was just trying to be a good girl. Did you take her cherry?"

Jack moved his legs and she felt him rubbing himself against her. He was losing his train of thought, already beginning to feel aroused by the naked woman in his arms. " ...I was twenty three and still a virgin. Spending hours listening to the lurid details of other men and the girls they picked up. Reading dirty magazines and ...well, you know? Next thing I know I'm seconded to this tribunal in Ambon and got my orders to ship out. I told her I wanted us to be together before I left. She said okay, a woman should see her bloke right if he went to war. So we booked a hotel room and bought a cheap ring to make it look proper. I was bloody nervous. Thought maybe I wouldn't be able to perform - but at least Maggie wouldn't know any better. It was pretty dire for her, I reckon. I think I hurt her. She didn't enjoy it. I know that..."

Joan smiled. "First time - it was hard for both of you! You're a big bloke, Jack, and I don't suppose you took your time. You'd hurt any girl if you rushed...she was a virgin..."

"She bled a lot and was embarrassed. I didn't mind. I thought it was pretty beautiful - but she was sore and scared that she'd get pregnant. It made it hard for her to relax. I didn't really know how to gave her pleasure. No wonder she looked for an older bloke who knew the score..."

"Jack...give yourself a break, hey? I've slept with more blokes than I care to remember and you rank up there with the more memorable.  It takes two, you know? Come on..." Her hand slipped down to grasp him firmly; he was already hard and his breathing was beginning to change. "Told you it wouldn't take you long, Jack...come on...let's forget all the things out there for awhile. Make love to me again. I want you to..."

The next day's session was one of the most disturbing yet. This time it was less the details of the atrocities that worried those who were present but more the turn of events that Ikeuchi was manipulating. He knew he was a dead man - he seemed almost to welcome it - but he was not satisfied with merely taking the blame. He had a scapegoat in mind to share the responsibility. The prosecution were forced to pursue arguably the only Japanese soldier present who had ever shown compassion for his prisoners. But he might have to be sacrificed for the whole.

The man in question, Lieutenant Tanaka, had been a naval signals officers in Tan Toey, one of the few to come forward in Japan and offer to testify at the war crimes trial.  Tanaka was a Christian and spoke good English; he was also remarkably lacking in a desire for revenge, despite hailing from Nagasaki and having lost family members in the atomic explosion there. It was also obvious that he was somewhat of an outcast amongst his own comrades, either on account of his religious beliefs or for the fact that he had tried to intervene many times during his time at the camp on behalf of the prisoners, protesting against the punishment beatings and the fact that the men were kept in near starvation when the stores were full of food. Now he had made it plain that he would tell the truth and was little bound by the sense of duty that made the others follow whatever Ikeuchi demanded.

But the fact remained that Tanaka had been the officer ordered to execute the airmen and had carried out his responsibility as directed. When questioned, he replied that he had merely done what he was told, there had been a Court Martial and the men had been found guilty. Execution was then a permissible punishment, not a war crime. But Tanaka had been duped -it was obvious to all there. There had been no Court Martial. Takahashi and Ikeuchi had lied and used another young lieutenant, Kimura, to convey the false information to the unsuspecting Tanaka.

The problem was that Tanaka was the signals officer and should have checked that the transcript of the court martial had been sent to Tokyo to ascertain that the information was correct.. He had not done so, accepting Kimura's words. Cooper had to press the charge that they had all conspired to commit an act of illegal execution of officers who had merely been shot down on reconnaissance, not a bombing raid as it was charged.

Ikeuchi laughed in all their faces. "There were no records!" He shouted in jubilation. He knew the order was false. He knew the men had been executed without trial. But he had the last laugh. "We will both die for the emperor!" he jeered in Tanaka's face. He would make sure the gentle young officer with the integrity to stand up for the brutalised enemy prisoners would share his fate.

The taste of injustice was strong in their mouths that night as they adjourned for the day. It seemed Ikeuchi was still playing them for all he was worth.

Jack drank more than he should have in the mess - he was not the only one. Half way through the evening, he suddenly stood up and lurched out, way beyond his normal threshold. Making his way across the compound, he wandered blithely into the infirmary.  He just needed to see her again.

Joan was still there on a late shift and saw him enter; she made him some coffee and made him drink it down while she did her final rounds and then handed over to her replacement.

They walked back to his quarters, Jack slightly unsteady on his feet, leaning on her. At one point, he threw up; she crouched by him as he gagged and apologised. It made her laugh. "I clean up mountains of the stuff every day, Jack. It means nothing to me. Here..." she wiped his face with a handkerchief she had in her pocket and then helped him back to his room. At the door, she said. "First, take a leak. You'll need it soon and will sleep easier if you do it now." Jack shrugged and urinated up against a nearby palm, too far gone to care about propriety.

Inside his room, she got him water, made him drink and then undressed him, laying him back on the bed and covering him over. "Go to sleep. You'll feel awful in the morning, but you'll live..."

"Stay with me?" His hand shot out and gripped her arm. "Please?"

Joan looked at him a moment and then began to remove her clothes before slipping in naked to lie beside him. She held him in her arms and brushed his hair back as he fell asleep. Lying there in the darkness she hoped he wasn't getting the wrong idea. This wasn't love, although she wasn't quite sure anymore exactly what it was.

Jack was on the last minute in the morning. He had woken with a headache and a hard on. Waking Joan from the dead sleep she was in, he had made love to her dreamily, paying no attention to the time, until Private Talbot had knocked and entered. It took only seconds for the younger soldier to recognise what was going on; he stepped back out as Jack threw the sheet over a naked Joan and jumped out of bed himself to hastily don his trousers and go outside.

"I'm sorry, sir...I didn't think..." Talbot began.

"No worries. She shouldn't be there. What is it?" Jack snapped back. Talbot handed a note from Cooper to Corbett. He took it and scanned the lines.

"What the fuck...? Who's dead?" he asked.

"Captain Ikeuchi, sir. Last night. Hara Kiri, sir. Bloody awful mess all over the place. The rest of those bastards just let him do it..."

Jack ran back into his room and began to dress and shave hurriedly. Joan was already back in her uniform and ready to leave. "Somebody will see me," she said.

"Nobody gives a damn today. Look, Joan, I have to go...I'm sorry to chase you out like this..." He turned and pulled her to him, his face still lathered with soap.

She smiled her understanding. "Later. We'll talk later. And Jack...we do need to talk. Go easy on the booze tonight, eh?" With that she made her exit, striding through the officer's compound nonchalantly. Passing Cooper's billet, she saw him leaving for the courthouse. He stopped and smiled at her. "Early morning call?"

She grinned back. "...Of nature. You know how it is?" Sailing past him, she was pleased to note he was appreciating her rear view as she walked on.

Jack slumped down in his seat next to Cooper. "Sorry, sir! Overslept," he whispered as they stood and the court convened. He did not notice the wry look that Cooper tossed over at him.

"Back to business. Tanaka's carrying the can now. We've got to make it stick. Irony, hey? Murdering bastards everyone, all except the bugger we nail." He caught Jack's suppressed yawn. "Sorry, mate, are we keeping you up? Or is that Nurse Pearson's newly assigned duty?" Jack blushed and grimaced, returning to the papers in front of him and busying himself assiduously sorting them into order.

Cooper's instinct had been correct. Tanaka was the only officer left with any responsibility for the executions and he could not now avoid punishment in this current climate where the public demanded an accounting. Even Kimura's admission that Takahashi had given the order and that Tanaka had been ignorant that this had in fact been a summary execution, ultimately had no effect. In a short adjournment, Beckett approached Cooper and told him Takahashi was now immune and that certain 'facts' had to be glossed over for the sake of the peace. The sting was complete. The bureaucrats wanted a scapegoat to make the tribunal appear to have succeeded, while at the same time it was rendered toothless. Tanaka would do as well as any other as a faceless enemy to blame.

Despite an appeal by the prosecution for leniency in the circumstances, Tanaka was found guilty of war crimes and sentenced to execution, to take place at dawn the following morning. There were few present who took any joy in this decision. Even Sheedy, the hard- bitten photojournalist who was there as an observer, seemed to feel that the whole matter was a shame - but one he ultimately backed up.

"It's bloody travesty and we can't do a thing to stop it," Jack observed as they walked on the beach the following evening. To him Tanaka's execution at daybreak had been as much an atrocity as that of the airmen or the butchering of the 315 bodies found at Laha airstrip.

The sun was setting with the usual speed that occurs on the equator. One minute one is bathed in light and the next darkness descends; the day is veiled as if a curtain has been drawn and the sun sinks dramatically into the horizon in seconds.

Joan turned to watch the red ball of the sun disappear. "I love the sunsets here. There is something real and honest about them. One moment you have the hot sunlit day and then it vanishes to be replaced by night. No deception. It's like real life, Jack. Whatever they say - mostly it's black and white. You live or you die. You get the girl or you don't. You win it all or you get nothing. Don't believe the cautionary tales. There's no such thing as just desserts or the scales of justice. Remember that when you're a lawyer back home. You do what you can. Beyond that, life will let you down anyway," she mused cynically.

She wrapped her arms around herself as if suddenly cold even in the tropical evening. Jack embraced her, holding her to him. "I can't believe that there isn't hope for most of us. I can't live with that kind of bleakness, Joan."

Raising her lips to his, she stole a kiss. "Then don't. We all must find our own way of rationalising it. I'm glad you've retained some faith in life. I think mine went years ago. "

He sighed pensively, rubbing at the base of her spine with a gentle hand. "Tanaka was bloody brave. He didn't blame anyone. Accepted it as if he too must accept the shared guilt of his race. Even Keenan could hardly stand to see it. We all knew it was wrong. He had a wife and baby daughter back home, ya know? Wrote a letter and asked Keenan to make sure she got it. That mean bastard cried later. Said he'd take it there himself if he had to. I didn't go. I wouldn't watch him die, Cooper neither. Sort of seemed like it was our fault in a way. The irony was, one day Cooper had told him he was free to go and then just changed his mind, asking him to stick around, that he might have some information they could use later. Poor bastard. If he had left then we could never have done this..."

He rocked her in his arms and fell silent for a moment before resuming: "...You can call it arse luck or you can choose to see it had a meaning. Taught us a lot of things about people and prejudice, any how. I won't forget him. Only thing I can do in life to make up for what happened is to try to be half the man he was. Honest. Brave. Honourable. Merciful. Not everything is black and white. There are shades of grey, Joan. In all of us. But you're right. You don't know when you'll be called on. You don't know if you'll have the guts when your time comes. But you have to hope you will. Until then you've got to make the most of it. While the sun shines, hey?"

Her words revisited upon her and she smiled at his use of them. "You know, you and me...we're not forever, Jack. It's just for now? I don't want you to get the wrong idea..."

Bending to whisper in her ear, he nibbled on her lobe and smiled his reply. "I know. For now. While the sun shines?"