Jeffrey Mitchell sat at the back of the classroom as the teacher droned on. It was his least favourite lesson- not that he was particularly fond of any of them really- but English Lit was the pits. He hated reading - novels anyway - and he usually just kept a low profile and hoped the teacher would not catch him day dreaming. He wedged the book up and slumped behind it, hoping he was giving the impression of concentrating.

Then his eyes began to roam around the rest of the class. Some of them were avidly following, the swotty girls like Keri Hunt and Victoria Chen and some of the dorky lads like Brian McInerney, The rest were like him, either keeping their heads down or actively mucking about.

Simon Jensen was grinning over at Shanti Davies, trying to get her attention. Shanti was pretending to ignore him but blushing and obviously lapping it up. Simon kept throwing tiny pieces of an eraser he was crumbling up over at her.

"Simon!  Sit up and take over the reading!"

Miss Barrett's voice barked over at him. He looked up, grinned and checked his text. Sure enough, he picked up the correct line and began to read in his strong low voice. That was so bloody typical of Simon. You just couldn't catch him out.

Jeff sighed to himself. Simon Jensen was the kind of lad that just got away with everything. He was intelligent but lazy, talented but uninterested; he could always just about get by. Teachers liked his cocky charm, girls were hanging off his blond athletic frame, the other boys all wanted to follow his lead. His Dad owned a chain of pubs; they were absolutely loaded and they lived in a big house in the right part of Balmain. How come some people just have it all?

As Simon read on, Jeff stared at him, noticing the way his thick unruly blond hair fell into a slight curl round his handsome face. Simon had blue eyes, dark blonde lashes and was almost as pretty as a girl, except for the squareness of his manly jaw. He was tall, taller by a long way than Jeff with long well-shaped legs. His frame was lean but his shoulders were broad. It occurred to Jeff that he was everything that he wasn't - and then some.

Some guys have all the luck, hey?

The lesson bell sounded and they all packed up, sliding out of their seats to pour out of the classroom on the way to their Phys. Ed lesson. At least here was something that Jeff could actually do. Out on the footy field was about the only time Jeff felt he could excel at anything; at most everything else he was just average.

In the changing rooms, the boys stripped down and into shorts and shirts, laughing and teasing each other as they pulled on their long footy socks and laced their boots. No one hung about too much, partly because they were eager to be out and about but also because there was a sort of unspoken rule in the locker room that you didn't look at each other or seem to be taking your time. That's when someone would call your manhood into question.

Shortly afterwards, they were jogging round the field on warm up. Jeff launched into his usual larking about, dodging in and out, teasing, making comments which made the other boys laugh or promise to get him in the scrum. He was known as a bit of a joker, well liked and popular. One of the lads. He's alright is Jeff Mitchell. Nice lad. That's what everyone said. Teachers, schoolmates, coaches, other parents, girls. A nice lad. Not special or bright or gifted or good looking or outstanding or devastatingly attractive. But he was nice. Good humoured. Dependable.

Well, it was better than a kick in the teeth, Jeff used to think.

"OK, boys...move it...Mitchell, stop arsing about!" The usual encouragement from the coach. "You lot are worse than a pack of girls. You sure some of the netball team hasn't wandered in? Anyone with a note saying it's that time of the month? Get moving, you lazy drongos!"

They jogged around sweating and panting, cursing the regime. Warm ups were the pits. All they wanted to do was get stuck in, play the game, burn off that nervous energy that surges off you at fifteen years old. Coach Bosnic called them to order and got them down for some press ups and stretches and then he called out the teams and they got the game underway.

That is when the fun always starts. Jeff grinned and forgot himself completely as he threw himself literally and metaphorically into the game, loving the rough stuff, enjoying the physical contact, shaking off the knocks and raking studs, giving as good as he got. He loved getting sweaty and dirty with the other lads. It roused him and fired his nature. This was the ultimate macho sport - blood, guts and courage combined with speed, thinking and team work. He was never so happy as when he was hanging out with the boys and testing himself against the others.

Training over, they ran back to the locker room, high on adrenalin, arms round each other, slapping backs, pulling at shorts and boasting about their skills. Now the atmosphere was looser and less self-conscious. They stripped off freely and piled into the open showers in groups, laughing and throwing soap about, physical contact no longer forbidden.

Jeff was drying off, a towel round his waist when Simon walked out of the shower naked. He was a real show off. Liked everyone to admire his six pack and his physique. For his age he was already impressive where most of the other boys were bone thin. Jeff glanced up as he was pulling on his shorts and without thinking stared at the other boy.

Simon was drying his hair, rubbing it with the towel, both hands on his head and his body displayed provocatively, his hips thrust forward, only a few feet from where Jeff was sitting. Jeff felt himself swallow as his eyes involuntarily scanned down the bronzed chest and on past the fine line of hair to where it thickened out into his golden brown thatch of pubic hair. Simon's cock was impressive. It was cut and very pretty, long and slender, lying over plump healthy looking balls. Jeff couldn't take his eyes from it and the swell of Simon's thighs, the well-shaped legs furred with yellow hair. 

Just then Simon's hands holding the towel dropped to dry his genitals and he must have noticed Jeff's interest. "Hey, what are you looking at, Mitchell? My dick? You gay or something? Fuck off, ya little pervert...hey, see that, lads? Mitchell's a bumboy! Better not drop the soap - he'll be up you like a rat up a drain..."

Jeff snapped out of his reverie and found himself facing the derision of all the others. He blushed and pulled on his shirt. "I wasn't bloody looking. What's he waving it in my face for anyway? Bugger off, Jensen," he replied, defending himself.

But the group was enjoying this and began chanting; "Mitchell's a poofta! Mitchell's a poofta..." until the coach came in and intervened.

"What's all this about, you hoons?" Coach Bosnic shouted.

"Mitchell. He made a pass at me, sir," Jensen replied all head down and faked deference.

"Did he now? Mitchell - my office - now!" Jeff glared malevolently at Jensen who flashed him a smirk and rolled his eyes, but he did as he was told, picking up his books and kit bag and storming into the teachers' office.

Bosnic came in and shut the door. "Sit down, Jeff!"

"I didn't do anything, sir! He's just setting me up..." Jeff protested miserably but took a seat at the desk; his teacher took one across from him

"Didn't you? He seems to think you were looking more than you should..."

"He stood naked in front of me. I just looked up and got an eyeful. Not my fault. You don't know what he's like, sir. He's a bastard. Thinks he's better than everyone else..." Jeff argued.

"I know what he's like. He thinks he fools us -but he doesn't. He's a smart-arsed little know all and I wouldn't want him round my daughter. But...Jeff...don't give him any fuel, hey? If he thinks he's something on you, that type will hound you. You're a nice lad and don't deserve to be singled out. But a word of advice. Keep it out of school, hey? Don't get a rep here. They'll crucify you, mate..."

Jeff's head shot up. "What do you mean? Are you saying you think I'm gay as well?"

Bosnic exhaled slowly. "I didn't say that, Jeff. What your orientation is - is up to you. But...Maybe you need to think things out a bit...at your age it's easy to be confused..."

At that Jeff jumped up. "Am I in trouble, sir?"

Bosnic shook his head.

"Then I'd like to go home, sir. I've heard enough for one bloody day..." His teacher nodded, Jeff snatched up his gear and strode out. He didn't wait to hear what was said, just ran out of the side door and jogged out of the back gate. He chose to miss the school bus and took a local one instead, keeping away from any of the usual haunts. He was not in the mood for hearing the mockery tonight. Thank God it was Friday.

Leaning his head against the window of the bus he stared out at the streets passing by and all the people going about their business. Was it becoming obvious? Did people really know what was in his mind?

Jeff wasn't sure, but he thought he might be gay. Leastways he knew he thought about men pretty much all the time, lying in bed, slobbing out on front of the TV, hanging out with his mates - he knew that he was different from the others.

Not that he didn't think about girls, too. He liked girls. He was interested in looking at them. When dirty magazines were passed around, he looked just like they all did - and to be honest, it could turn him on. But when he was on his own, it was always a male image that came into his mind. The nape of a male neck, the muscles on a finely honed back, the sweet swell of a guy's butt in tight jeans, the bulge of genitals...He just had this longing to touch and feel, to rub his face against the bristle of a man's cheek, to hold a man in his arms and to be held by him.

It was wrong. But it was how he felt. It had happened slowly over a period of time when slowly he had begun to realize that he was dreaming of the boys and men he knew, perving over male pin ups, waking up touching himself with some guy in his head. He had stopped even trying to blank the images from his mind these days. He just couldn't.

But he had thought he would be able to keep it all to himself. It wasn't as if he was ever going to act upon it. There was no question of that. As far as the rest of the world would ever know he was one of the lads. He had even been kind of dating Sarah Carver off and on - they had done stuff, just like normal. Not full on sex, of course. She wasn't having any of that - which was a bit of a relief to be honest, because he wasn't sure he would have been much good at it. What he had read and what other blokes had told him suggested that there was quite a lot of technical detail and it sounded flaming complicated. Sarah was a nice girl. Pretty and all. She seemed to like him and was flattered when he came round and asked her out. It was fine. Just like other blokes. He had a sort of girlfriend.

That reminded him that he ought to give her a call. It was a couple of weeks since he had seen her. Maybe he should take her out on Saturday and meet up with some of the others? They would soon see he was just as straight as everyone else. Who knew what people were thinking anyway? Maybe half of them were doing the same thing, wanking off dreaming of some actor or a male model they'd seen in a magazine. Everyone said that sexuality was a bit confusing when you were young. It was normal for boys to hero worship men.

Did hero worship include wanting to touch their dicks, though?

It was his stop - Jeff jumped up, stepped down onto the pavement and wandered along, hands in his pockets deep in thought. Suddenly his grandmother came into his mind. He knew she was a lesbian. Actually he didn't like to use that word when he thought of her. It made her sound like a freak. She wasn't - she was his Gran. He loved her. She loved Mary. It had never seemed odd to him. Just because Mary was a woman, what was the big deal? He had seen them together and it had looked like love to him. Maybe he was like her. Preferred his own kind. Was it something you could inherit, like the colour of your eyes or whether you could sing or paint or something? He had wanted to ask that when they did Genetics in Biology but there was no way he would have asked that in front of the class. That's what he couldn't stand about school. The things you wanted to know were never explained - instead you had to listen to loads of crap that was never going to do you any good.

Walking down the road, kicking at a stone and loosening his school tie, his mind drifted to his Mum. He could have asked her. Mum would have listened; she always had done. They had been so close. Not that he wasn't close to his Dad but Harry was a real bloke - you couldn't talk about your emotional problems to a bloke like Harry Mitchell. He was a typical cobber.  Man's man. Ladies' man too, if you believed half of what he said about his randy youth. Plenty of stories there about girls he had rooted until Mum came along and he had settled down. But he lived in a world where men were men and you believed that pooftas should be castrated or hung by their balls or something.

Jeff smiled when he thought about Harry. You couldn't get a better man - or father. He had been just brilliant since Mum had passed even thought Jeff kenw losing her had broken his heart. They had been so in love right to the end. But Dad had just knuckled down and put all his energies into making sure his son didn't suffer any more than he had to. Harry had made a warm loving home and Jeff knew he had a lot to be thankful for. His Dad, who had been a real macho Aussie fella, had learnt to do all these domestic  things that he had never done before - cooking, washing, ironing, making beds, doing housework - all these things that Mum had always done for them both. Dad was just great - but he didn't reckon he would want to hear his son might be gay. That kind of thing would have made him ashamed of him.

And he couldn't bear to think he might lose his Dad's affection. All he had ever wanted to do in his life was to make his Dad proud of him. Be a man like he was. Not some raving poofta.

"Hey, Jeff? Fancy a kick about before dinner?" Mark Jones shouted across at him as he rounded the corner of the street. "We're just going up the park..."

"Catch you later, mate..." He wasn't in the mood just now for hanging with the boys.

Dumping his books in the hallway, he wandered through to the kitchen, drank from a bottle of milk and helped himself to a packet of biscuits. Taking the phone, he sat on the floor and dialed Sarah's number. Her Mum answered and passed him over.

"Hi, Jeff, what's up?" She was a really nice girl, always cheerful and positive, easy to chat to.

"Nothing much. Just thinking...you fancy doing something tonight? Flicks and then up the youth club, see if anything's happening?"

"Yeah...I'd like that. Thought you were bored with me. Haven't heard from you for two weeks..."

Jeff winced. "Just been busy, ya know?"

"Yeah right, all that schoolwork you don't do...so we gonna sit on the back row, Jeffrey Mitchell?" she teased.

"If you like...might even buy you some popcorn if you play your cards right....pick you up at seven? We can grab a burger first..."

"Cool...what d'ya wanna to see?"

"Dunno. You choose. I won't be watching anyway, will I? Not if we're on the back row..."

"Cheeky....you better behave Jeff Mitchell....but not too much, hey? See ya later then...I'll be looking forward to it..."

He put the phone back on its cradle and grinned. They wouldn't be calling him a poofta with Sarah on his arm. She was a bit of all right and had really big tits for a skinny girl. Jeff grimaced suddenly. Sarah liked him - he liked her - it wasn't a very noble thing to ask her out just so the lads would drop the taunting. She deserved better than that - would he even have thought of asking her out if he hadn't been so eager to prove himself?

Resting his head back against the wall, he ran his hand back through his hair. Bloody hell! Today was the shits. The total shits. Why had he stared at Simon? He knew better than that.  It had just been an idle moment when he had drifted off and dropped his guard.

With a groan as he recalled the scene, the jeers of his friends still in his ears, he ran into his bedroom and found the packet of cigarettes he had hidden at the back of his sock drawer. He reckoned his Dad probably knew about his smoking but it was still not openly admitted. Taking one out into the garden, he sat on the swing and lit it, rocking back and closing his eyes, inhaling the smoke and trying to imagine the events in the locker room had never happened.

"Bad for your health, mate..." Jeff sat up with a jerk and found himself looking at the handsome face of Simon Jensen who was watching him from across the fence. "Gonna invite me in?"

Jeff stood up and took a drag on the cigarette, eyeing Jensen suspiciously. "What do you want, ya prick!"

"Temper, temper...that time of the month is it, Sheila?"

"You can fuck off if you're starting that shit again..."

Simon vaulted easily over the back gate and landed smoothly in the garden, sauntering about with a jaunty air. "You could fit this garden in our vegetable patch..." he observed with a smirk.

"What the fuck do you want with me?" Jeff retorted. "If you don't like slumming it, then piss off..."

He squared up to Simon who held his hands up in surrender. "Ooooh, I'm scared! Don't get your knickers in a knot, Nellie, I'm not here to piss you about. I was just wondering something that's all...where's your Mum and Dad?"

Jeff narrowed his eyes. "My Dad's at work. And my Mum's dead - you damn well know about that..."

"Sorry, mate, I forgot...really...that was a real shame..." Simon appeared to mean what he said but Jeff was still suspicious. Jensen was a sick bastard at times.

"Well, now you know - so get lost, hey?" He took a final drag and flicked the butt end over the fence into the alley behind their house. He didn't want Dad finding the evidence.

"That wasn't what I meant, Mitchell. I was wondering about today. Are you gay? Or were you just wishing yours was as big as mine?"

Jeff gave him a look. "Fuck off!"

Simon sat down on the swing. "You are, aren't you? I can always tell. I've watched you for weeks. Watched you watching me..."

"I don't know what you're talking about, mate. Only that I'm beginning to think that you're the poofta here. You stuck in my face near enough...."

"...I am." Simon added softly, watching Jeff's face for a reaction.

"What?" Jeff gasped.

"Gay. Mostly. I fuck girls as well but I prefer blokes. I like it a bit rougher. You know?"

Jeff stared at him. "You? You think I'm falling for that? I know you. Next minute you'll be howling when you think you've pulled one over on me, ya bastard..."

"That what you think? That I'd come round here and admit to it if it wasn't true, mate?"

"Yeah...you're hoping I'll make some disclosure and then you can take it back to school and that will be the joke of the year....no chance..."

"You could tell them what I'd said..."

"Like they'd believe me? I can see you've got plenty of witnesses here...."

"Jeff..." Simon frowned and looked at his feet. "I am gay. And I think you are too. A bloke can tell. Gaydar, ya know? Maybe you haven't accepted it yet, but...."

"Thanks for your concern. Then what was this afternoon's little performance about? You a homophobic gay then....that's a bloody joke in itself..."

"Look, I'm sorry about that but I couldn't help it. You were so flaming obvious. I thought someone might make a comment about us..."

"Us? Get real, I never bloody touched you..."

"No...but you wanted to, didn't you? I could tell..." Simon stood up and ran his hand sensuously down Jeff's face. His voice dropped and became husky. "I'm sorry I deflected attention onto you. But, Jeff, I came to apologise and also to...to see if you were interested. Maybe we could go inside? Bit of privacy?" Simon gave him a knowing look.

For a moment the two young men faced each other, then Simon leant down and kissed Jeff lightly on the mouth. Jeff pulled back in surprise and let out a soft groan. "You better come inside. Someone could be watching..." Jeff muttered.

Inside they sat awkwardly in the lounge. "Want a drink?" Jeff asked.

"Got  a beer?"

"Yeah, why not?" He helped himself to two stubbie from the refrigerator in the kitchen. Carrying them in, he found Simon rolling a joint. "Hey, mate...if my Dad smells that..."

"It'll loosen you up...loosen you up all over..." Simon grinned with a lascivious smirk. They drank from the bottles, while Simon lit up and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes before passing the cigarette over to him. He took it and drew, feeling the sweet smoke pulled deep down into his lungs and the buzz of the hit to his brain.

"How did you find out...?" He began.

"...That I was gay? Not sure. I kind of always knew, ya know? There's this bloke who works for my Dad. Rory Kilduggan. He's some kind of Business Manager at the brewery. Good looking bloke, dark, swarthy, works out...girls drool over him. My Mum and Dad think he'd make an ideal son-in-law. They invited him for a week up at Coffs  this summer with the family. Julie, that's my older sister, she liked him....they're still dating - plan to get engaged. But...one arvo, I was lying in my room, naked. It was a hot day and I was horny. Sporting a real bone, ya know? Next minute the door opens and Rory's standing there wearing a towel. He closed the door. Said - carry on, mate, don't mind me... and I did. Just jerked off right in front of him."

"Jesus!" Jeff exclaimed. "You shot off in front of him?"

Simon laughed and let a stream of smoke curl above his head. "No...he moved in before I got to that. Dropped his towel and gave me something to look at. Watched him touch himself...man...it was something else..." Simon hunched his shoulders. "He blew me. Blew my fucking mind....been seeing him off and on ever since..."

"You're saying you've been fucking your sister's fiancé?" Jeff exclaimed.

"Well, soon-to-be-fiancé to be exact..."

"Is he gay?"

"He says he's bi-sexual. Likes men for the rough, ya know?"

"Rough? What do you mean?" Jeff moved closer on the chair and took the joint from Simon's mouth to drag on it himself. Simon rested his hand on Jeff's knee and then slipped it up his thigh before cupping his groin and squeezing roughly.

"You've no idea, have you? You a virgin, Jeff?"

Jeff frowned unwilling to admit it. "Yeah..."

"Never had a girl either?" Jeff shook his head.

"We'll take it slow then...you want me to take charge? Show you what's what?" Simon asked, resting the joint down in an ash tray. Jeff said nothing; Simon took it for permission. "Your bedroom. C'mon..."

Jeff led Simon to his room, his hands in his back pockets, nervous and unsure. He closed the door. Simon sat on the bed pulling off his shirt. "Get naked...don't be shy...we're both boys..." he grinned.

Standing up Simon dropped his pants and his shorts at the same time, dragging them off along with his trainers and socks, with little ceremony. There was a crudeness about his behaviour. Jeff had kind of imagined it would be more tender, affectionate - if he had ever got to do such a thing. Leaning back on his arms, Simon disported himself before Jeff brazenly, letting him appraise the bulge of his naked genitals and admire the erection that was already tumescent. "Let's see what you're packing then, mate..."

Jeff unbuttoned his shirt, fingers trembling, and let it slip onto the floor. Kicking off his shoes and socks, he dropped his pants and then stood there in his boxers. Simon inclined his head as if to say "And the rest...." Hooking his fingers into the elastic, Jeff lowered them and let them fall.

"Not bad...bigger than you look...come over here..." Simon muttered his grudging approval.

Jeff stepped away from his clothes and walked over, resisting the urge to cover his genitals. He felt ashamed at the hard on that was already jutting out and bouncing as he walked but he needn't have worried. Simon reached a hand out and stroked his cock - and the reaction was immediate despite his apprehension. It sprang to even harder attention and Simon grinned, dropping his hand to cup Jeff's balls and squeeze. "You liked that, didn't ya? Still think you're not gay, mate? A straight bloke would have shat himself by now at the thought of this..."

Simon stood up and moved close so that their chests touched. Jeff felt their cocks trapped between their bodies and the tangle of their coarse hair. Simon was fully hard now too and the feeling of the thick bolt pressed against his own was an incredible sensation of hot thrusting strength. He began to lose his anxiety and let the moment carry him.

Placing his hands on Simon's face, he pulled him close- they kissed. Simon thrust his tongue crudely into Jeff's mouth and made it clear with the lewd tonguing that this was a sexual not an emotional experience. For an instant that bothered him. But he was too hard and eager for what came next to do anything about it. With a push Simon lowered Jeff back onto the end of the bed and then stood between his knees " I want you to kiss it....suck it....come on...you know you want to..."

Jeff paused and looked at the red-engorged meat thrust in his face. He had looked at his own often enough, fondled it before a mirror, watched as he had shot his cum all over but this was someone else's cock. The thrill of touching the forbidden was quite beyond anything he had ever imagined. Touching it tentatively, stroking then grasping and jerking as he would his own, he leant forward and kissed its tip. The young man groaned and Jeff slipped his tongue over the swollen nob, gasping as he licked up the first seeping trickle of another man's cum. It didn't take long. He rolled his balls and suckled hard and the boy shot in seconds, shuddering and shaking with the intensity of the experience. Simon fell back onto the bed, grinning at the semen dripping down Jeff's chin; he dragged his head to his and kissed him roughly, tasting himself, noisily smacking his lips.

That led to horseplay on the bed as they rolled over a few times, roughhousing and laughing, somewhere between sexual arousal and wrestling, enjoying the hard muscular strength of each other. Jeff got Simon in a hold and held him face down, using his thigh to stop him from moving. For a few seconds, Simon tried to buck, laughing, and then Jeff noticed the curve of his well shaped butt thrust up at him. "Christ, I want to fuck you..." he muttered, unsure himself where the notion came from.

"You got any lube?" Simon asked. Jeff looked around and saw a bottle of after sun cream. Leaping off the bed, he helped himself to it and squirted it onto his hands, Simon grabbed his jeans and pulled out a condom out of the pocket. "Always use one. Ya got that?"

Simon grabbed Jeff's cock and jerked it a few times, unrolling the rubber over it skillfully while Jeff rubbed the thick cream up and down his erect shaft. "Squeeze it on your fingers, squirt it up my bum...ease your fingers up my arse...open it out..." Simon instructed.

Jeff did as he was told gingerly. "You sure? Won't it hurt....?"

"Not if you take your time. I know how to relax...go on..." The boy arched his back and helped to open out his body. Jeff was amazed but so excited by the sight and the idea of what he was about to do that he didn't stop to question anything. His sexuality was driving him and his brain was somewhere else in the moment. He was going to have sex. With a guy. He could hardly breathe for excitement, scared he would come even before he got in.

Slowly, almost faint with his arousal and the pounding of blood through his body, he eased in, bit by bit, the tight warm tunnel contracting against him and creating a delicious friction as he pushed. Simon lay moaning and whispering encouragement. "Come on, Jeff...stick it in...right up...tear me open...you know you want to....make me pay for what I did..."

At that Jeff lost it and began to ram steadily in a rhythm, his own pent up emotions of the day adding to the urge. He heard his own grunts and Simon's moans but not much else. The next moment he came in a blinding shuddering burst of sensation, his whole body trembling as he shot out in hot waves into the other boy. His legs gave way and he tumbled to the bed, sliding out and rolling on to his back, the used condom hanging off in an absurd fashion, full of his cum. He grabbed it and threw it onto the floor while the two of them lay their panting and groaning.

"Jesus, Jeff... you were way out of it then..." Simon chuckled, holding his rear tenderly. "Won't forget that in a hurry...How was it for you, then?"

"Bloody great!" Jeff sighed and rolled on his side, snuggling up to Simon and trying to cuddle him against his chest. Simon pushed him away roughly.

"Bugger off...we just fucked, mate, less of the romantic shit...I'm not your girlfriend..."

Jeff blushed, threw his arms above his head and looked at the two naked bodies lying side by side, their cocks now shriveled and pink lying against their thighs. "I just thought....you know....after you let me do that to you...that we ought to...."

"I let you, 'cos I like it. I got another hard on when you went in - came all over your bedspread, didn't you notice..?." he chuckled and pointed at the wet patch. "I like it. I do it to girls but I like men to do it to me. 'Cos I like it. I didn't do it for you, mate. I'm not a fucking charity..." His crude double meaning made him snigger.

With that, he rolled off the bed and slipped his shirt back on, standing before Jeff with a lewd smile on his face, rotating his hips, watching his own cock bounce about. "I'll get off then. Got a date with the luscious Shanti tonight. She does it all, mate. Better get a shower and make myself beautiful for her," he made eyes at Jeff before thrusting his legs into his shorts and pulling on his pants, leaning down to put on his socks and shoes.

Straightening up, he stood with his hands on his hips. Jeff was still lying there staring at the ceiling in silence. "What's up, Jeffie? Second thoughts? Feel guilty now you've done it? Hard to face the fact that you're a little poofta after all?" Simon mocked.

Jeff sat up, leaning on one arm. "This thing...what we just did...it didn't mean shit to you, did it?"

Simon hunched his shoulders. "It was sex. You wanted it. I wanted it. So we had it. It's just masturbation with another body. Doesn't mean anything. Tell you this though, mate. You keep your fucking mouth shut about this little episode. If I ever hear that you tell anyone about it then you are fucked. I shall destroy you. Not that anyone would ever believe you now, would they?  You're the pervert in school after all, aren't you?"

With that, he walked out. Jeff heard the front door slam. He groaned and ran his hands back through his hair. What had he done? With a guy he couldn't even stand?

Dragging himself from the bed, he disposed of the condom and the remains of the joint, took a shower and began to make a desultory attempt to get ready for his date, rather wishing now he hadn't made it. The last thing he felt like doing was making up to a nice girl like Sarah. What would she think if she knew he'd sucked a guy's dick off that arvo?

His father's cheery greeting made his heart sink even deeper than it had been already. What would his Dad have thought had he walked in half an hour ago? The whole memory made him feel so sordid that he wanted to throw up.

"What d'ya fancy tonight, Jeff? Sausages and mash again? Good job it's my favourite..."

"Not for me. I'm off out..." Jeff shouted from his room as he put a brush through his hair to try and tame it and wondered if he ought to shave the light hair that was growing on his upper lip. He wondered if that would put a girl off.

"Out, is it? Big date, hey? Who's the lucky lady?"

"Don't start that, Dad...It's just Sarah. We're going to the flicks..."

"Back row, hey...make sure you wear tight underpants or you might frighten her to death..."

"Shut up, Dad. She's a nice girl."

"And you're a nice boy but you've still got blood in your veins. Just be careful with her. You've got plenty of time for all that. What you going to do about supper?"

"Thought we'd go for a burger..."

"Hark at the smoothie! Dinner and the movies, hey? Here...twenty bucks..." He handed Jeff a note from his wallet.

"...You don't have to, Dad...I've got money from my paper round..."

"Never mind...take it. Give her a good time. That's my boy. Never let it be said that a Mitchell man doesn't know how to treat a lady."

He watched as Jeff checked his hair in the mirror and frowned. The boy had no confidence. He was a nice looking lad and yet he always seemed to think he was not good enough.

"Hey, Jeff...stop fussing. You can't improve on perfection...God's gift, hey?"

Jeff gave his father a wry look. "Mustn't take after you then," he grinned. 

Harry laughed"You must bring her for tea one day...this girl of yours. I'd like to meet the young lady who's got her hooks into my lad..."

Jeff rolled his eyes. Some chance... 

Harry busied himself in the kitchen singing as he got his meal ready. Jeff pocketed the money and watched his father fondly. He sighed deeply, imagining a time in the future when his father would have to be told. It was no use pretending anymore. What had happened with Simon was not how Jeff wished he had lost his virginity but it had taught him one important lesson. He was what he was. And that meant he was gay. He could date every girl in Balmain if he liked but it wouldn't change that fact.

And one day he would have to have the guts to come out and declare it. He knew one thing for sure. He wasn't going to spend his life hiding and strutting about pretending he was a macho straight guy like Simon Jensen. Nor was he going to marry a girl for the sake of pretence like that bloke who was marrying Simon's sister. That was sick. Fancy how the wife would feel? How could you use people like that?

Being gay didn't mean he was a pervert. It didn't mean he was a user. He didn't mean he was a freak. He was exactly what he had always been. A nice lad. Good at sports. Not much cop at school. Liked looking at girls. Enjoyed going out with Sarah Carver. Bit of a joker. Dependable. Had a cigarette on the quiet and a glass of beer.

Who just happened to be homosexual.

"Right, Dad, I'll be off then...see ya later...?"