I

The emperor threw down his stylus and rubbed his eyes. It was after midnight and the flickering candlelight was poor; he was too old for writing late into the night. But there were still so many things to say, so many ideas forming; wisps of smoke in his searching mind which might evaporate should he fail to grasp and tame them with ink and pen. For what else could he bequeath to posterity- what would have been the purpose of his life? Ten years or more of war, how many still to come? And after he had gone- what then? He didn't fool himself that any of his victories would last for long- no war, however glorious, wins immortality. Men say that the future lies in a man's progeny; sons to emulate and better their father; daughters to breed future generations of heroes. Marcus Aurelius had fathered many children yet saw no great men springing from his blood; most of his boys had died young or were dissolute and his daughters were spoilt and promiscuous, society beauties, little more than patrician whores.

What a legacy!  Was it his failure as a father, bad blood or just the modern world? How could the children of the most powerful man in the world not have their heads turned by fawning adulation and the immediate gratification of every whim? He wished his sons (and daughters) had been denied their privileged cocoon. Perhaps then he might have had a chance to raise offspring to be proud of. The emperor shook his head; he had been away too long. He would not make the same mistake with the youngest. Commodus and Lucilla were on their way with his wife to spend some time with the legions, to be kept away from Rome. At eight years old his youngest son was already difficult and wilful but there was still time to make a man of him; moreover his little Lucilla was beginning to go the way of her elder sisters and he feared she might be ruined before she reached her marriage, still a year away. Lucius Verus was an ambitious man and his loyalty required binding; it was essential that Lucilla played her role.

That was not quite fair. Lucilla had qualities that in a different world might have made a fine character of her. Firstly had she been a man, her brains and courage might have been put to some use. Secondly had she not been a beauty her energies might not have been wasted in empty dalliances with feckless noblemen. Faustina, his wife, had intervened before the child went too far- the last episode had required an examination but she was still intact- but it was only a matter of time before her curiosity and her libido caused her to take the fatal plunge. But she was not just a silly headed girl; there was more to his lovely daughter than that: if were she ever tested, he was sure that she would show her mettle and might yet surprise them all.

"Sire, the password?" Marcus Aurelius' meditations were interrupted by a young tribune who had entered the inner principia. His face broke into a smile at the sight of young Meridius.

"Still on duty, Maximus? Don't they allow you a night off?"

"Swapped duties, sir. I'm doing a double shift."

"Why?"

The young man looked down. " For a friend, sire. He had a prior engagement..."

"A woman, you mean? I hope he is prepared to do the same for you sometime!"

Maximus Meridius grinned but didn't reply. Marcus Aurelius looked at him as he stood to attention, straight backed and solemn, waiting for the nightly password. He had grown fond of Meridius' son. Such a fine boy!  The lad had spent almost his entire life in the army, following his widowed father round on campaign. He probably hardly knew what civilian life was like, growing up without a mother in a world of men. Maximus was the antithesis of his sons; he had never known comfort or soft living in his entire life.  How the years passed by! Maximus was a man now, a second rank tribune! He hadn't spoken to the lad properly since his father's death, five or six years ago.  Must be in his mid twenties by now - time he was married, started a family. The young man deserved that.

"I rarely hear anything but positive reports, Maximus. Your commanding officers have a very high opinion of you: you are an excellent officer- the men respect you. The records show that you are brave in battle- fight like a mad dog, they say- but compassionate in its aftermath. As for your private life- well, reports tell me you drink in moderation, eat plainly and have no taste for rape and wild living. Commendable, of course, but a little too stoical in a man of your age? Are you just a good actor or is this the real Maximus? Or perhaps you prefer men?"  It was a possibility that a lifetime in the legions had led the tribune to seek his pleasures in the bathhouse or the bunks- it was a common enough vice for long-serving soldiers.

"Sire? Do you require an answer?" Maximus asked innocently enough but there was a hint of sarcasm in his tone; the emperor had never heard that before.

"Come, come, son. Did I touch a nerve? Stand down. I've known you since you were a tiny boy, tagging behind your father's cloak. I don't always wish to be the great man, you know. Sometimes even emperors want to sit down and share a cup with a friend and waste some time in idle chatter. Give the password to the guard and come back for a while. We will talk.  Tonight the password is 'fatherhood'. It is something that has been much on my mind of late."

Maximus pursed his lips but bowed and retired. A few minutes later he returned, coughing uneasily to announce his presence. The emperor bade him pour some wine and take a stool by him.

"I apologise if I pried into your private life. It was a genuine question. How do you live without home or family? Are you lonely? You may be a soldier but you have feelings too. I know how your father's death affected you. Tell me a little of yourself."

The young man squirmed awkwardly in his seat and blinked his eyes rapidly. He rubbed his hands together then ran his fingers through his hair. It was obvious that he had no idea how to start.

"I don't know what to say, sire. The legion- it's all I know. I have friends; I have interests, just the usual. It's a tough regime, there isn't much time to fret about things."

"Interests? What interests?"

"I love horses and I ride whenever I can. Long rides, into the mountains, live wild, do a bit of hunting. I suppose I like my own company. Gives me time to think."

"And what do you think about?"

"Life, my family, what things could have been like if my mother had lived, things like that."

"What about marriage? Have you thought about that?"

A look of concentration passed across the strong face. "Marriage? I'm a soldier, sir. It's no life for a woman and I wouldn't see the point of leaving her somewhere and never seeing her. So no. I've never seriously considered it."

"What about children? Surely you want a family one day?"

"I don't think soldiers make very good fathers, sir."

"What about your own father? He was a soldier and a damned good father, if you are any proof."

Maximus smiled. "My father was an exceptional man. But it wasn't an ideal situation and I wouldn't want a child of mine growing up in camp- what if it were a daughter!" The older man nodded.

"Sometimes you can't plan life like a military campaign, Maximus. It has a haphazard way of surprising you. What of love?" The emperor's intelligent eyes sparkled.

"Love?" Maximus enunciated the word as if it was the first time the concept had ever occurred to him.

"Yes, Love! Surely you have heard of it?  Define love, Maximus.  Come on, let's try a philosophical exercise!"

The younger man swallowed hard. "I loved my father. My mother, too, although I barely remember her. I love the gods and my ancestors and ...well... you, sire. Is that what you mean?"

"No, Maximus, that is not what I mean. For a start that wasn't a definition. And you seem to confuse piety and duty with love. How's your Greek?"

Maximus winced. "Poor, sir. Only street level stuff."

"The Greeks have many words for different forms of love. There is love of a parent, love of the gods, love of duty, compassion, love of friends (although the Greeks are a little flexible on that one!) and then there is Eros. Define eros, Maximus."

"I can't sir. I don't know what it is."

"Then it is time you found out. You have clearly mastered all the others save that one! Let me return to a personal question. Do you like women?"

Maximus nodded. "What do you do when you want a woman? Do you just pay a visit to the camp girls and risk a dose of something unpleasant?"

"I have been known to, sir. But my father warned me against too much of that." He paused and the emperor waved him on. Maximus looked at the floor and his voice dropped to an embarrassed whisper. "There's a woman in the canabae I visit when I need to. She belonged to one of my men; he died a while back. I took his belongings to her and she was in a bad way- a few little ones and little money. Things just went from there. I'd rather pay her and she's grateful for the support. It doesn't seem quite as sordid as a brothel."

"Your father gave you sound advice but there is still something missing, my boy.  You need to find a woman of your own, a partner, not just a bedmate. Take it from me you won't be a real man until you have loved a woman. It changes your whole concept of the world. And now I am tired and will retire. Have you many more hours?"

"Until morning, sire."

"Then I wish you a peaceful night. Thank you for your candour."

"Thank you, sire."

Maximus stepped outside in the moonlight. It was cold and clear, the sky bright with stars, a good night to be riding. He rubbed his hands across the stubble on his face and thought about the conversation. The emperor was a singular man. One never knew what subject his agile mind would alight on next. Women. He wished he had a woman there now. In his mind's eye he imagined a woman, faceless, warm and loving, a body to hold; someone in whom he could bury himself and find ...what did he want to find? He felt sure that he would recognise it if he found it. Cupping his hand he poured water from a jar and threw it over his face. It was ice cold and made him gasp. Maximus waved the vision from his sight and returned to the principia. He might as well finish the reports.

II

Annia Lucilla was fifteen and the emperor's favourite daughter. She had travelled to Carnuntum with her mother to spend the summer with father. Rome was unbearable and Germany pleasant at that time of year, so father said. If this was pleasant then she dreaded to imagine what the winters were like! It was June and it had rained constantly since they had crossed Germania. She had caught a cold and was permanently sniffling; she looked a complete fright. Luckily there was no one here to impress. Father had joined them in the town from the legionary camp outside where he normally resided. How the emperor of the world could be satisfied in a military principia was a mystery to all but it was typical of her father.

Today there was to be a camp games and father wanted them to be present. It would be held on a field outside the settlement. Lucilla prayed to Jupiter to keep the rain away or they would be sodden and she would no doubt end up with a fever. She compared this tawdry spectacle to the races in the Circus at Rome and gritted her teeth. Such occasions were part of the duties of the imperial family and she wouldn't let her father down -but what a bore! It would keep Commodus quiet though. Her eight-year old brother had been driving them all to distraction since he arrived. There was little for him to do and he was eager to visit the legions, having some crazy notion that he would be able to train with the men. At least today's games would entertain him.

The rain had stopped and a fine clear day was promising as the emperor's family took their places in the wooden enclosure that had been erected for them. Despite the rich furs and comfortable high backed chairs, it was rude and basic and hardly what the family were used to but there was one interesting advantage- the proximity, which it afforded to the watching crowd and the participants. Rarely had Lucilla been so close to common people before. She would enjoy the experience quite as much as the races themselves.

For several hours the inevitable contests took place. There were jockey races in which cavalrymen, many of them from Africa, Illyria or distant Armenia showed off their equine skills, riding bare backed, standing up, turning somersaults or picking up cloths from the floor as they thundered round the track. They were surprisingly skilled but then they were trained professionals- their lives depended on such expertise in battle. Later there were some combats. Of course, they were not gladiatorial- no one expected soldiers to fight to the death- but there was wrestling and wooden swordplay and javelin contests. It was fairly routine stuff but Lucilla enjoyed the sight of the young oiled bodies, clad in only loincloths. It was a pity that they were not allowed to perform naked, as they would have done had women not been present! Some of these boys looked as if they would have substantially more to show than the tiny genitalia of wrestlers in the statuary!

The highlight of the afternoon was the chariot races. This makeshift circus was too small to hold four-horse races so they would have to be content with smaller two horse carts but even so in a small arena four such teams would be dangerous and the atmosphere was alive with expectation when the teams rode in. Commodus was out of his seat, eager for the off. He had been allowed to visit the stables earlier and had picked up some tips from the officer who had shown him round.

"He's the favourite- the one in the Green tunic. He's from Spain and they say he's unbeatable. I think he's called Meridius or something odd like that." Commodus was jumping up and down. Faustina, his mother, pulling him back to his seat. " Commodus, have some discipline. Behave like a Caesar for once!"

The emperor stood before the crowd and all fell silent. Raising his arm he dropped the white napkin and the rope was hauled away from the starting line. The four teams burst forward, each man aiming to secure the inside and the shortest route. This was a tense and dangerous moment when eager horses can overstretch and cause a collision even before the race has begun. But these men were experts and the teams soon found their lanes and settled in.

"Your favourite isn't showing," observed Lucilla, 'he's back in third and the Whites look very secure. I'll bet you your man doesn't even finish!" Lucilla teased Commodus.

"You're on. A gold coin says he will take them all!"

Their father leaned forward. "For once your judgement may be wrong, Lucilla, my dear. If I were a betting man, I would follow Commodus and put my money on the Green. He is an exceptional horseman- and a very fine officer indeed. However I am not a betting man- and I will give you two a sound thrashing if I see any money exchanging hands- is that understood?"

Lucilla giggled- as if her father would take a stick to either of them! Mind you, Commodus could certainly do with a regular beating; that was half the problem with him. Returning her attention to the track she began to take more notice of the young champion. He was a tall young man with a powerful frame and brawny arms, obviously well muscled from years carrying weapons and controlling horses. His hair was thick and brown, rather tousled and unkempt for a soldier and he had a noticeable stubble. It was difficult to make out anything else as the teams thundered past for the fourth lap but it was becoming evident that he was gaining on the second team, despite being forced to pass on the outside, the longer route.

As the two chariots drew level the rider in Blue lashed out at Meridius with his whip. Meridius ducked and the other man slightly lost his balance, the force of his own movement working against him. All the while the Green never took his eyes from the course, a fierce concentration on his face, a determination that was intimidating in itself. Lucilla found herself gripped by the spectacle, hardly daring to breathe. The Blue rider checked and it was enough to give the Green the edge- he was past and away. As the lap counter showed five, Meridius began to pull up on the leader, holding his team a hair's breath from the rail.

"He's going to try to pass him on the inside!" shouted Commodus.

"There isn't any room!" gasped Lucilla. "They will collide!"

The White charioteer turned to assess the threat and Meridius shouted something. It was a warning but his rival failed to respond. Someone in the crowd had thrown a pewter cup into the arena and it had fallen on the track before the riders. The White horses shied from the missile and their rider lost his purchase, tumbling over to be dragged behind, frantically struggling to cut the reins that now bound him to the speeding cart. At last the line was severed but the young soldier had taken a battering and was lying in the path of the other two teams, unable to move.

Then the unthinkable happened. The Green team stopped, pulled up by Meridius who used his chariot to block the other rider. The Blue driver slowed and merely had to edge round and trot to the finishing line to claim the victory, followed seconds later by the Red team. The crowd howled with disappointment at the unsatisfactory conclusion and more missiles were thrown. Lucilla stared at the scene on the track. Meridius had jumped to the other rider's aid and was pressing down on his wounds while slaves and army medics raced to bring aid. He seemed oblivious to the confusion all around him and was as fixed in his concentration to save the man's life as ever he had been on the track. As the man was carried from the track, Meridius turned to scan the hostile audience. In a show of temper, he picked up the pewter goblet and hurled it back into the jeering crowd with a disdainful look on his face and pushed his way through the mob at the exit to leave the arena. Lucilla was intrigued by his behaviour; it was quite unheard of.

"An extraordinary man, Lucilla." Her father leaned over to address her, aware of her fascination. "The victory has no consequence to him now. He would not waste a life just to win a moment's glory."

"Well I think he is a coward. He could have easily taken the race and left the man to the slaves." Commodus hated to lose.

"They would have all ridden over the body to do that and Maximus would never have let that happen." Marcus said.

"Maximus?" asked Lucilla

"Decimus Maximus Meridius, one of the finest soldiers I have ever seen, Lucilla."

Lucilla said the name to herself a few times and liked the sound of it. "I shall meet this man," she thought.

III

Maximus was not in a very good humour. He was off duty and tired after covering for Quintus too many times and then the race, which had been such a disaster. Salvius was recovering but he had taken a bad fall and would be scarred; the reaction of the crowd still rankled. To add to that, he had just had a message from the emperor's office; if it had come a short while later, he would have been gone. He had been looking forward to the visit to Gudrun for days. Instead he had to play nursemaid to the emperor's children.  'Why me? Couldn't some young wet-behind-the-ears laticlavius have done? At least he might have talked the same language.'

Strapping on his leather lorica, he stepped out into the warm June sunshine. It was a good day for a ride; at least he would get out of the town for a while. That's if they could ride properly. Perhaps I'll have to walk along and guide them. "Gods! When I think of what I could be doing. Bring some sweet cakes for the children and send them out to play so that I can get Gudrun alone and then...' He thought of her thick blonde hair, plaited in a thick rope and how he liked to free it; it was so long that it covered her nakedness to her thighs when unfurled. He loved it when she rode him and her hair fell about his face like a thick, golden curtain. Maximus groaned to himself as he walked along to the stables, kicking out at a stone in frustration.

Lucilla watched as the young tribune moved towards the imperial party. She could see he did not look pleased and wondered what had upset him; he had been in a temper after the chariot races- was he always so serious and sour? Perhaps she could make him smile; she was sure she could. It was rare for a young man, any man for that matter, to spend time in Annia Lucilla's company without smiling. 'I shall set myself a challenge today', she mused to herself.' I will make this handsome tribune smile at me- in fact I'll have him eating out of my hand as easily as feeding an apple to one of these horses.

"My lady?" Maximus entered and disturbed her reverie. Lucilla blushed and the tribune bowed slightly. Lucilla noticed that it was only a slight bow, not the lower obeisance that her rank should have demanded. 'So he's a little arrogant, is he? Thinks me just a little girl, beneath his notice?'

"Good morning, tribune. Will you organise the horses. My brother has the little chestnut pony but I will have the dappled grey."

"Too big for you." Maximus snapped back and as an afterthought. "My lady."

"I am a very able rider, sir. And please don't contradict me again. I will have the grey."

He shrugged. "As you wish, your highness." There was something about the way he said the word highness that seemed a little patronising. But he was already busying himself with checking the accoutrements and throwing a soft blanket over the saddle. Commodus began running around, pulling at the saddle of his horse, eager to mount even before Maximus had finished. The tribune looked sharply at him with a commanding stare. Lucilla was surprised to see Commodus stop still and wait until the tribune indicated for him to climb up. That was a first- who had ever had that effect on Commodus before?

Turning his attention to Lucilla, he cupped his large hands and offered them to her to use as a step up. Lucilla placed her foot in them but before he could raise her up, she swung herself over the saddle with practised ease, noting with pleasure the slight arch of his right eyebrow at the sight of her agility. ' I suppose that passes for emotion on him,' she thought with glee. A groom led his horse out and after a quick check; he leapt on to its back. Lucilla observed the athletic movement and the glimpse of his strong thigh muscles gripping the horse's flanks where his tunica had ridden up. ' He's showing off,' she thought, ' wants me to know my little skill means nothing to a horseman like him.' But she liked his audacity, so different from the fawning and grovelling of men at court.

They made their way, slowly through the fortress gates, Maximus receiving acknowledgement from many soldiers as he passed. Lucilla observed how he grinned at his men and shouted friendly comments. 'So he can smile, can he? But only at men it would appear!' For a moment, Lucilla wondered if perhaps he was one of those men who preferred his own sex. Sneaking a look across at him she found that hard to believe; you could not imagine him in the arms of another man, that type of man was always so effeminate- unless it was different in the army? Maybe, for soldiers, it was like Achilles and Patroclus or Leonidas and the Spartans - you know, combing each other's hair in the bathhouse and easing each other's wounded bodies. 'Well, we'll see. There's always a first time- and even Achilles had women sometimes', she giggled to herself.

They rode into the countryside; the sun was warm and Lucilla felt herself relax. It was quite beautiful- rolling forests in the distance but in these settled lowlands the fields were full of wheat and the road was fringed with wild flowers. Maximus kept them to the paved roads and at a moderate pace, restraining Commodus when he tried to raise his speed. Commodus seemed impressed by the tribune and fell to chatting to him enthusiastically about horses and chariots and gladiators and soldiers; he rambled on while Maximus merely nodded or added a word or two here and there. Lucilla felt ignored as she tagged along behind.

With a sudden burst of temper, Lucilla decided to wake him up a bit. There was a break in the wall at the side of the road to the right and a large area of wild land led up to the brow of a small hill, crowned with a thicket of trees. Lucilla decided to investigate. Turning her horse slightly she spurred her on and raised her speed to a canter and then a gallop. Looking over her shoulder, she saw that she had taken him by surprise; he said something to Commodus and set off after her. Returning to her task, Lucilla laughed out loud at the joy of the rush of speed and the knowledge that he was chasing her. He was also gaining on her fast; this man could really ride.

Before she reached the hill, he was on her and in one deft movement he reached over and pulled on her reins, bringing both horses to a stop. "I was only riding to the hill. The view must be splendid from there." Lucilla protested.

"You could have fallen. If you want to gallop, just tell me and I'll find you some flat ground. This is pitted with hollows and craters. My lady."

"May I at least walk to the hill, tribune? Or is that not on the itinerary?"

At that moment, Commodus trotted up, oblivious to the atmosphere between his sister and Maximus. "Why don't we stop at the top of the hill for something to eat?" he shouted.

Maximus frowned but nodded and they dismounted and led the horses to the trees. The view was magnificent and it was shadier there; a good place for lunch. Slaves had packed a simple fare into the saddlebags and Lucilla stood back expecting the tribune to serve the food. He merely attended to the horses, giving them apples and stroking them.

"Sir? The food?" she reminded.

"It's in the saddle bags if you want it."

"Do you expect me to serve myself? Haven't you the least idea how to behave towards the emperor's daughter?"

Maximus observed her and then roughly opened the bags, pulling out bread, cheese and fruit, which he piled into his arms, and then seemed unsure what to do next.

"Why don't you take one of the blankets off the horse and set it down under the trees? We could sit down and set the food there. How did you expect to eat?"

He shrugged. "We usually just use our hands. Stand around or sit on the floor."

"I'm not a soldier, tribune."

"No, Ma'am. I'm not ...used to civilised company."

"I can see that. Well, seems like I'll have to play the serving maid for once. Come on, Commodus, here's a new game for you. Take a blanket and lay it over there. Maximus, carry over the food and I'll get the wine."

When she unconsciously used his name, he looked up at Lucilla and for the first time he allowed himself to study her as a woman, rather than a personage, an imperial princess. As she knelt down and began to arrange the food, he realised that she was hardly a child. Lucilla was a tall girl, unusually so for Roman women, even more compared to the Spanish girls at home. Her hair was golden brown and it seemed softer and more silky than any hair he had ever seen before. She wore it rolled up behind with tendrils curling down her back and they were shining in the sunlight. The simple stola that she wore was skilfully cut and graced her slender form; but Maximus noticed that, although small breasted she was a woman already and his heart quickened at the sight of her comely buttocks outlined under the fine material as she bent to her task. He felt a bead of sweat break out on his forehead but recognised that it was not caused by the warmth of the day; this girl was beginning to affect his poise.

"Tribune?" Her voice brought him back with a jolt. "Would you like to eat something?" Lucilla indicated that he should sit with them. Maximus picked up some bread and cheese and stepped back, throwing himself down under a nearby tree, suddenly uncomfortable with proximity to the princess. His behaviour seemed to amuse her, for she smiled at him in a knowing sort of way. For a while they continued to eat, Commodus biting into fruit and then throwing it aside and trying something else. His casual misuse of food irritated Maximus; food was a precious commodity and waste seemed incomprehensible to him. Why didn't someone tell the child to finish something or leave it alone?

After some time, young Commodus tired of his meal and ran off chasing a butterfly and trying to catch it. He couldn't go far so Maximus let him play; he was glad of the relief from the tedious child. He pulled out his dagger and began to whittle away at a piece of wood, idly carving.

"Some wine?" Lucilla had carried over the wine skin and knelt down, filling a small cup for him. She smelt wonderful; a perfume he had never smelt before, like a flower but spicy and heady at the same time. Nodding and accepting the cup, he drank and looked in the direction of her brother."

"Don't talk much, do you?" Lucilla asked

"Only when I have something to say, mistress," he replied with a curt nod.

"People just talk for the sheer pleasure of each other's company. Have you never tried that?" That slightly mocking smile again, curling on those perfect lips, the blue eyes dancing, the tilt of her well shaped little nose... Again Maximus found his attention wandering off and forced himself to concentrate. Why did this woman make it so hard for him to concentrate?

"I have never had the facility for polite social intercourse, my lady. It isn't a skill required for a career soldier, I'm afraid."

"But you have many other skills, don't you, Maximus? How would you normally converse with your lady friends?"

At that, Maximus choked on his wine and to Lucilla's amusement appeared to blush.

"Hmm. Now what can I make of that, Maximus? I may call you Maximus? Perhaps you don't require conversation with your lady friends? A different sort of social intercourse perhaps?" And on that note, Lucilla rose and returned to her blanket, calling Commodus back and beginning to gather together the remains of the meal.

Maximus sat on, trying to understand what she had meant. Surely a young woman of her birth and breeding would not have meant what she sounded that she meant. Would she even know what occurs between men and women? He had heard how sheltered the lives of the imperial woman were and well born girls back home usually only found out about men on their wedding day- or sometimes only on their wedding night. He had heard of one older tribune who had told him that his young bride had fainted when she saw his... But what else could she have meant?

On the ride home, Maximus rode behind this time and left the imperial siblings to their chatter. It had not been as bad an experience as he had imagined but he felt uneasy at the effect this beautiful princess had had on him. Maximus made a mental note to keep a distance in future; something in her manner spelt trouble. But he felt even more aroused than he had in the morning and decided that, as he had a few hours before he was due on duty, he would seek out Gudrun anyway; or if she was not free he might just make a rare visit to one of the camp drabs.

Lucilla watched him take a hurried leave and move quickly away, this time paying scant regard to the horses. 'What's his hurry?' she thought. 'Can't wait to get away?' Suddenly she remembered the challenge she had set herself that morning. She had failed. A whole afternoon with the tribune and he hadn't managed one smile. Was she losing her touch?

IV

Several days later, the emperor was conducting a planning meeting with his legates. His attention was drawn to young Meridius who was standing to the rear of the office. For one of the first times when on duty, the tribune was not at attention, but idly gazing out of the window, a slight smile playing on his face. 'How unusual,' he thought, 'it's not like Maximus to daydream. The lad is so eager to learn and usually follows such meetings with fierce concentration. What is holding his attention?'

While one of his legates droned on, the emperor rose from his chair and wandered over to another window, following the young man's line of vision. To his surprise, he realised that Maximus was watching Lucilla down on a lower balcony with some of her maids. They were gossiping and laughing as girls do, a charming domestic scene. 'I wonder,' thought Marcus Aurelius, ' is it the sight of women in their natural environment that interests him or is he watching my daughter? Lucilla was impressed by him and has been disappointed that he has not been free to ride with her since that day. She needs a companion; life in the fort is boring for a young woman of her age. He could do with some refined company, too- a man of his class needs some social skills, especially as it is clear he is destined for higher rank. What harm would a summer flirtation do to both of them? He is a man of honour and would not overstep the bounds of decency; he knows his place. That is more than I can expect of most of the wastrels that Lucilla has dallied with in Rome. Perhaps I need to stir the pot a little!"

The meeting concluded, the emperor dismissed his legates but indicated for Maximus to remain behind. For a while he shuffled documents and kept the tribune waiting and then he began.

"Meridius. There's a dinner tonight in my private apartments. Why don't you join us? You must be heartily sick of mess food and it would be a good experience for you- the time will come when you will be expected to attend such functions regularly. Oh, and you would be company for my daughter- there are no other young people here and these formal functions are terribly boring for her."

Maximus stared in shock. 'An invitation to dine with the emperor and his generals?' He muttered thanks, unsure whether he actually meant it or not.

"Oh, and Maximus- smarten yourself up. Get yourself a decent shave and haircut- what would your father think of you these days?"

The tribune looked embarrassed. 

"Ninth hour. Dress uniform. Dismissed."

Returning to his quarters, Maximus sat down deep in thought while his young slave, Cicero, removed his lorica. Suddenly Maximus turned to the boy.

"Do I look unkempt?"

"Master?"

Maximus scratched his head. "Do I need a haircut?"

Cicero shrugged. "Not unless you are trying to attract some lady. None of the lads round here bother much about your looks, sir."

His master shot him a warning glance. "I have a dinner engagement with the emperor. I think I need a shave and a haircut. How steady is your hand?"

"Steadier than yours, sir, if your current stubble is anything to go by!" 

"I'm going to the bathhouse. I want a shave when I return, and a haircut. And you can keep your smart comments to yourself, boy." His master stormed out. Cicero smiled to himself. 'Must be a girl,' he thought, ' Never seen him like that before!'

Later that afternoon, Maximus found himself in the emperor's private triclinium and groaned inwardly when he saw the couches. He had never reclined and it only increased his sense of awkwardness; he would do something wrong or break some rules of social etiquette and make a complete fool of himself. Although a man of confidence and complete mastery over himself in his military surroundings, he felt gauche and ignorant in this world; he should not be there.

His discomfort was further increased by the presence of Lucilla, contact with whom he had been studiously avoiding for some time. She had been seated on a straight-backed cathedra by his couch and polite conversation was impossible to avoid, although he felt that he would rather have wrestled with tigers in the arena than with the complex niceties of chatter with the girl. She also seemed rather quiet at first and an uneasy silence hovered between them as Maximus attempted to listen to the talk of politics and war that dominated the higher couches.

"I hardly recognised you today, tribune.  Your dress uniform becomes you and do I detect a rather less hirsute appearance?" Lucilla broke the ice first and immediately managed to embarrass Maximus.

"Even I know the difference between one's appearance in a camp and at the imperial dinner couches," he snapped.

"Maximus, I wasn't insulting you. It was meant as a compliment. You are a handsome man- it is good to see you in your finery for once. I hope I too present a more elegant image today than on our last meeting. It is customary on these occasions to mention a lady's appearance, you know?" her eyes were sparkling and he knew she was making fun of him again.

"You look well, my lady. As always."

"I suppose that will have to do. Although it hardly ranks with the more glowing compliments that I usually elicit from young men on these occasions. Fortunately I am not vain."

Maximus found himself drifting off again. What did she mean by 'handsome man?' He had never really thought about what he looked like. It was true women always seemed to be willing for his company; but then he was an officer and had sufficient money so that sort of woman would be well satisfied. They seemed to like the feel of him; he was gentle and considerate with them unlike other men he knew; forcing women was not to his taste. He enjoyed giving women pleasure and it seemed to pay off- if he pushed himself on them too quickly they found him difficult to take in; a little bit of effort made the experience better for both. But- handsome? What a strange thought. Did she really mean that or was she making fun again?

"Well, Maximus. What do you think?" He had not been listening; why did she always make him think of sex? It was shameful that he should think on what he did with lowborn women when he was in her company. The memory of his last afternoon visit to Gudrun was still lingering- when he had closed his eyes he had seen Lucilla in his mind's eye, naked and servicing him like his coarse German bed mate.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I asked you what you thought of the food? You don't seem to be eating much. How do you fill those muscles if you don't have a healthy appetite?" Lucilla was teasing.

"I prefer plainer fare than this," he replied, viewing the rich, over-decorated platters of exotic meat and birds.

"Tell me of yourself, tribune. My father says you have been with the legion since you were a small boy. How is that?" Lucilla knew the story but she feigned ignorance. Perhaps he would speak more freely about something he was more comfortable with - anything really- but Maximus- say something!

For once, he seemed inclined to talk and proceeded to tell Lucilla, succinctly and without much embellishment, the story of his mother's death in childbirth with his baby sister when he had been five years' old and his father's anguish and subsequent return to the legion, the boy in tow. He spoke of his home in Truillo, which he hadn't seen for six years since he had taken his father's ashes home after he had died of a camp fever. When he spoke of Truillo, however, Lucilla noticed a surge of emotion; he looked upwards and far away as if imagining it in his mind and his description of its beauty was precious close to poetic in its choice of language.

Lucilla was struck about how stirred she felt about his sudden enthusiasm; she realised for the first time how empty was the talk of most people, full of verbosity and hyperbole, meaning very little. But when this man opened up, his words were from the heart; a secret part of himself shared with few others- how much more those words meant.

"It sounds as if it is a beautiful place. You must love it very much." Lucilla said, the teasing tone no longer in his voice. And then it happened. He looked straight at her, those blue green eyes so open and lacking in guile and he smiled at her. "It is the most beautiful place in the world to me," he replied, his voice a deep rumble.

His smile simply took her breath away. She had been attracted to this taciturn young warrior and had enjoyed teasing and flirting with him but in that moment something quite different happened to her - Lucilla fell in love.

"My lady? Are you unwell?" She suddenly was aware that she felt flushed and heady and he must have noticed her high colour too. "Do you need some air?"

Lucilla fought to clear her head but seized the opportunity his offer gave her.

"A little faint, tribune- the heat in the room. Perhaps you would escort me to the balcony so that I may feel the breeze?"

With rather more gallantry than she had received from him before, Maximus shot out of the couch and extended his hand to guide her from the triclinium out onto to the balcony and the coolness of the early evening.

The empress Faustina caught the sudden withdrawal and leant over to her husband, frowning. Marcus Aurelius followed them with his eyes but shook his head at his wife's disapproval. "She will come to no harm with Maximus, my lady. He is a man of integrity. Let them be. It is a little harmless fun." Faustina breathed out deeply. Her husband did not know as much as he thought. Lucilla was ripe for a man and this tribune was quite a specimen. And as for man of integrity- a man's definition of integrity was quite different from a woman's and Lucilla could be very persuasive if she set her mind on something. Faustina decided to keep her eyes on the situation closely, ready to intervene if necessary. She hadn't come all this way into the wilderness to see her daughter plucked by some provincial soldier.

"Better now?" Maximus returned with a chilled cup of well-watered wine and flashed her the second smile of the evening. 'Please Maximus, no more smiles just now', she thought. 'I'm not sure my heart can stand it!" but replied with a gentle nod. They stood on the balcony in silence for a while, watching the golden sunset. A little bird settled near them further down the balustrade and Lucilla observed him watching it, a slight smile playing on the corner of his lips and then raising his eyes to watch its arced flight as it flew away into the evening sky.

"Your eyes, Maximus, are an extraordinary colour for a Spaniard!" Lucilla realised she had spoken her thoughts out loud. He turned them on her, a bemused look on his face.

"My eyes? My father used to say I had my mother's eyes. She wasn't from Lusitania. She was from Gaul- in the south. He met her when he was stationed in Lugdunum with the legions. He used to say..." at this Maximus stopped suddenly embarrassed at himself.

"Go on- what did he use to say?"

Maximus grinned, clearly embarrassed. Dropping his voice to an even lower register than normal, he muttered, "That they were like the sea where she was born."

"That's it! Exactly! Aquamarine. Like the sea. They are beautiful eyes, too beautiful to be wasted on a soldier and to be framed by such lashes, too! You must have been a beautiful child."

Lucilla laughed in delight at the image and then caught his expression. A sudden change had descended on his face; he was serious again but no longer stern. He was staring at her with a smoky look in those aquamarine eyes and his breathing seemed to have become short and heavy. They both gazed at each other openly and his face moved closer to hers; Lucilla was sure that he was about to kiss her but as suddenly as it had occurred the moment passed and he stepped back, shaking his head a little as if to clear his mind.

"Maximus?" Lucilla broke the silence first. "Will you ride with me again tomorrow?"

"I would like that, my lady. If you are ready we must return to the dinner. But I will be at the stables at the third hour tomorrow morning and promise to be at your service."

V

Maximus was on an early shift but he pulled a marker with Quintus who was so surprised that he didn't have time to demure. 'Maximus?  Put something else before duty?' Quintus shook his head. 'Don't tell me Ironman has fallen for a girl? What a thought! Hope she likes brooding intensity,' he laughed to himself.

Several others remarked on the change on the quiet tribune that morning as he passed through the early morning camp. 'Is that my imagination or was Meridius actually whistling?' one legionary observed.

Lucilla made her way to the stables followed by a slave girl who was carrying a pannier of food. Thankfully Commodus was attending sword drill this morning and hadn't pestered to join them. She wanted Maximus all to herself this time. To her pleasant surprise he was already there, horses saddled and he was not wearing his uniform. Instead he had on a tunic of a soft green cloth with a geometric pattern embroidered around the hem; it may have been something he wore for chariot racing for it was short like a huntsman or rider would wear. Whatever, it was an improvement and revealed even more of his legs and powerful thighs than his usual regulation red military tunic revealed.

"Good morning, my lady. I trust you slept well?" Maximus inclined his head and smiled. 'He's getting the hang of this smiling' Lucilla observed with amusement.

"Yes, thank you. Out of uniform? Is that allowed?"

"Why not? I'm not on duty." Maximus lied. He wasn't sure what had made him dress this way; it had been a whim that had come to him as he shaved. Twice in two days. But she had seemed to prefer him clean-shaven. Pity that he had nicked himself but he hadn't wanted to ask Cicero again; that boy was getting too full of himself these days.

He held his hands out again for Lucilla to mount and this time she allowed him to swing her up to the saddle, aware that his hands lingered just a little longer than necessary. He fixed the pannier to his saddle and then swung himself up and they rode out through the main gates in the bright morning sun.

"Where to, Maximus?"

"A bit further today, I think. You like to gallop? Let's raise the speed a little."

They set off across country at a fair pace towards the forest that was never far in these parts. Gaining the trees, they slowed and Maximus led her along shady paths until she heard the sound of water. Ahead the trees thinned out to reveal a still clear lake, cool and sparkling in the sunlight.

"Oh, Maximus! It's perfect! How did you know?"

"Came across it with a scouting party once. Always meant to come back. Today seemed a good day to do so."

He helped her down and they walked to the water, he idly picking up a few flat stones and skimming them skilfully across the surface. Lucilla begged him to teach her how to do it so he showed her how to choose a smooth stone and she made a dismal attempt, her stone plopping uselessly into the water.

"No, like this." He moved behind her, left hand on her waist and closed his right hand around hers, guiding the stone back and whispering in her ear the pilum command  "iace!" (throw!) - and the stone whipped out across the glassy surface to begin its trajectory. Neither saw how successful it was. The instinctive movement that had brought Maximus so close created a proximity that he was powerless to resist. He had smelt her perfume and felt the tickle of a tendril of hair against his cheek and before his brain had time to realise what he was doing he had bent down and kissed her neck, his arms tightening to enfold her. Lucilla sank against him and closed her eyes, unable to bear the sensation of his strong arms, his breath on her skin or the warm wetness of his lips.

As he brushed his lips along her cheek and found her ear, she turned to face him, daring to raise her fingertip to the small cut on his chin which she had noticed when he had first stood in front of her in the stable that morning.

"Kiss me again, Maximus, again!" He obliged and this time his hands tilted her face to his and she felt his lips on her own, his tongue pressing against her teeth until she sighed and opened her mouth enough for him to explore her tongue and suck it gently. Lucilla gasped at the feel of his welcome intrusion; he misunderstood and pulled away, suddenly ashamed of what he was doing.

"My lady. I... I don't know... I'm sorry..." Maximus sank down on one knee and put his head in his hands. Lucilla crouched down next to him and pulled his hands away.

"I asked you to kiss me. You have to obey my commands. It was not against my wishes."

He refused to meet her eyes. "I have no right to touch you. I have broken your father's trust in me. I am ashamed of myself. I have behaved like a ..."

"Like a man, Maximus. And I have behaved like a woman. For that is what we are beneath our rank and duty. A man and a woman."

"We can never forget our different places in the world. You are the daughter of the emperor of the world. I am a humble cavalry officer, not fit to grovel at your feet..."

"What total nonsense you speak at times! Imagine I was not the emperor's daughter and you were not a cavalryman; that we were free of all constraints. Imagine that I was a girl you met in a tavern."

"A tavern girl?"

"We girls are all the same beneath our clothes whether they be fine silks or humble wool. Close your eyes and pretend. What would you wish to say to me then? What would you wish to do to me? If we were free..." Lucilla's voice had dropped to a husky whisper.

"Lucilla. This is a dangerous game. You are a maiden and I could harm you. Don't play with fire. You don't understand what you are doing!"

"You would never harm me. But yes, it is a dangerous moment. And I do understand what I am doing. I just don't know what it will be like when it happens."

Maximus looked at her sharply. "When what happens?"

"When you make love to me. I'm a little unsure what I must do or what you will do to me..."

"Are you quite mad? I can't... ever. You are a virgin. Only your husband can do that to you."

Lucilla stood up before him and eased her stola from her shoulders.

"What are you doing, Lucilla?" Her thin tunic fluttered against her body in the slight breeze; he could see the outline of her slender legs through the fine material. A lump formed in his throat.

"I want to swim. Come -join me!" At that she turned and lowered herself into the water, gasping at its icy cold against her sun-warmed skin. Maximus watched her sink in to the water and saw her hair spread out behind her as she moved out across the lake. He rubbed his hand across his brow and tried to search the sky for some notion of how he was to deal with this. Suddenly, Lucilla cried out; she was out of her depth.

Maximus dragged off his tunic and dived in, surfacing almost at the spot where Lucilla was. He seized her and turned onto his back, pulling her back to safety in the shallows.

"Lucilla! Are you all right?"

Lucilla gurgled with pleasure. "I knew that would get you in."

"What? You faked that? You little..." Maximus picked her up and threw her back into the water. She surfaced, spluttering and laughing.

"You see. I'm just a girl. When you forget, you treat me like your girl. Tell me that it doesn't feel good."

"It doesn't feel good."

"Liar! You are a hopeless liar."

"While you appear to be rather good at it!"

"Only because you want to be fooled. You want me, Maximus- even I can tell that."

Maximus drew her to him in the water, aware now of her breasts, almost revealed by the wet material, her nipples clearly standing out. He pressed her to him and ran his hands through her long wet hair. "I cannot take your virginity. I will not ruin you. But I cannot help but kiss you. You are the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen but I will not take advantage of your innocence." He kissed her deeply, gently stroking her hair in his large hands.

Then leading her from the water, walking ahead so that he did not allow himself to look upon her near naked form beneath the sodden garment, nor allow her to see the signs of his own arousal, he threw his tunic over his head and went over to the horses to busy himself with lunch. Lucilla sat upon a large rock and combed out her hair with her fingers. She had observed his bare torso in the water and it was more than even she had imagined. It reminded her of statues of mighty Jupiter in the temples on the Capitoline. But his body pressed against her as he had kissed her had revealed one important difference. The manhood between his legs was something quite different from the neat sculptured appendages of such statuary. The memory of the feel of it made her heart race.

This time Maximus laid out their repast and motioned for her to join him, throwing her stola to her, indicating that she should put it on. Lucilla walked over to him, still clad only in her tunic and knelt down to eat. She picked up a cherry and leant over and popped it in his mouth, holding the stem until he bit it off. Maximus did not take his eyes off her. Then she bit into a peach and let the juice run down her lips, licking them slowly, offering him a bite and then bending to him and licking the juice from his face. He groaned.

Walking forward on her knees, oblivious to the bread and fruit she trampled, she pushed him onto his back and took a drink from the skin of wine that he had just picked out from the cold shallows. Holding the chilled wine in her mouth, she lay upon his chest and dribbled the wine from her lips into his. With a sudden movement, Maximus rolled her over and lay on his side beside her. Placing his hand on her neck, he began to sweep it down until he reached her swelling breasts and he circled one above the damp cloth. Lowering his head, he gently teased the nipple of the other, biting gently through the clothing and pulling it out with his teeth.

The young woman gasped, unable to comprehend the effect his action had had on the lower part of her body where she suddenly felt a gush of moisture and a hot itchy sensation. He did not stop this time. Still nuzzling one breast, he dropped his left hand to the hem of her tunic and gathered it up, pulling it above her knees, then her thighs and then up to her waist until she was lying exposed beneath his gaze, only her fine under cloth between him and her nakedness. Lucilla wondered what he would do next; she soon found out. Slipping his hand beneath the fine linen, she realised that he was touching her secret hair and sliding his fingers down beneath her mound to the folds of her intimate places. The rough skin of his hand scraped across her gentle flesh until he found her wetness and then... he inserted a finger inside her, using his wrist, then forearm to ease her thighs apart. All the while, his head remained on her breast and she lay silently, stunned by her body's instinctive reaction to his exploration of her. She saw herself lie before him, her legs involuntarily opening, her hips riding up to meet his hand. How did her body know what to do?

His finger reached her maidenhood and he eased back. Maximus had no intention of taking that from her but was incapable of stopping his own voyage of discovery. Lowering himself still further, he licked her naval and used his other hand to peel away her undergarment until he could see her naked perfection revealed. She was flawless, soft brown curling hair and the pink lips beneath already red-tinged as her arousal became inflamed. He smelt her natural perfume and buried his face within her, teasing at her tiny nub, hidden beneath its secret fold of skin.

Lucilla cried out when he touched her sensitive spot but he held her firm and continued to love her, using the tip of his finger in her vagina, careful not to insert it far, but desiring to feel the contraction of her inner muscles as he built her up to her orgasm. Helpless now the girl moaned and writhed, calling out his name and begging him to stop yet pushing his head against her loins as if to contradict her words. Her hips shot forward and he felt her come, the waves of release shuddering through her, her first taste of passion.

Until she finally subsided, panting and breathless in his arms, Maximus held her, whispering in her ear and stroking her hair and face gently. Suddenly she opened her eyes.

"Is that love, Maximus?"

"It is all that I can give you, Lucilla. I don't know if it is love because I don't know what love is. But it feels like nothing I have ever known."

Lucilla lay awhile in his arms, amazed that she felt no shame as he gazed upon her naked body; it simply felt natural, as if she had been born for this moment, for this man.

"Maximus?"

"Yes?"

"What about you? How can I love you?"

Maximus drew his hand across his face and turned away. "You cannot. This must be enough. I can serve you, my lady, but I cannot take from you the service a man takes from a woman. I will not subject your innocence to that."

He rose and walked to the horses; she could feel that he had raised that formal barrier again. His fierce will was beginning to take control.

Later as they rode home, a companionable silence fell between them. Neither knew quite where they went from here but neither expected the other to stop. Just out of sight of the fort, Maximus reined in his horse. "Lucilla. I cannot stop this. It is like a mountain stream beneath melt waters, pulling everything in its path. But I will never hurt you. I want to bring you joy, like the joy you have brought to my heart. I want nothing more for myself. Can this be love?"

Lucilla choked her tears back. "I think it must be, Maximus. What are we to do?"

He shook his head and moved forward to the fort, his mind a turmoil of happiness and pain.

VI

Faustina observed the return of her daughter and the young tribune at a distance, her unease of the night before not undiminished by the sight of Lucilla's flushed face and hastily pinned up hair; nor did the over-familiar touch of the tribune as he helped her to dismount escape her eyes; this man had knowledge of her daughter, of this she was convinced.

When Lucilla reached her rooms, her mother was waiting for her.

"What happened today, Lucilla?

"I had a ride with a tribune. It was exhilarating."

"Your hair? Why is it undone?"

"We galloped and it became disturbed."

"I don't believe you."

"Mother! What are you trying to imply?  Tribune Meridius is a man of high integrity, trusted by father. He is not the sort of man to disregard his duty or my rank. How can you even think such a thing?"

"I haven't said anything, Lucilla, about the tribune. Your defence of him is admirable but somewhat unnecessary. Unless..."

"Mother, father trusts him. I trust him. Please do not be so suspicious."

"He is a man. No man has complete control over himself where women are concerned. Perhaps he has behaved himself so far but take heed, Lucilla. Do not push that young man too far. He is a deep one and men like him are often the most passionate when aroused. If he is the fine young officer that everyone implies then it is even more appropriate that you take care not to destroy his career. I'm warning you, Lucilla!"

Faustina swept out and Lucilla meditated on her words. Perhaps her mother was right and Maximus required only a very small push; it was hardly what Faustina had meant. Calling her handmaid, Satria, Lucilla motioned for her to join her on a couch by the window.

"Do you know who Maximus Meridius is?"

The girl giggled and nodded. "Why are you laughing?"

"He is the officer who takes you riding. All the women like him."

"Really? And has he a reputation with the slave girls?

"Oh, no, mistress. That is why they like him. He is not like the other officers. Meridius is respectful and polite to everyone- but some of the girls wish he was less of a Stoic!"

Lucilla smiled, pleased that this girl reinforced her own opinion of Maximus. "Does he have a man servant?" The girl nodded. "Take a message to him. I will meet him tonight after the change of the last watch of the day, by the Praetorium postern gate. Do not mention this to anyone- and tell him his master must not know."

At the appointed hour, Lucilla appeared wrapped in a full-length cloak, keeping well back into the shadows for the night was bright- it was close to midsummer. Cicero was waiting for her, somewhat confused and his senses alerted to possible danger for his master. It didn't take much working out for him to realise now what had caused Maximus' recent good spirits.

"My lady?"

"Can I trust you?"

"I will do nothing to harm my master."

"Good. Then we both have his best interests at heart. Take me to him."

"He has retired for the night. He is in his quarters."

"Then I shall go there."

"Your highness. It is in the officer's barracks. Only women of low repute enter there."

"Is there a back way?"

"There is the slaves' staircase."

"Then I will use it. Do not argue with me, slave! Just take me!"

"I cannot. My master would be furious."

"I assure you he will not. If you will not take me, I will go alone and my chances of discovery are greater. I must see him tonight."

Cicero could not prevent her; so he complied, his heart full with foreboding. He led the princess up the dark staircase, pushing her against the wall when a slave ran down, hoping she merely gave the impression of a whore commissioned for the night. That alone would cause some discussion- Maximus never had women in his room.

At the end of a rough-hewn corridor, he opened a wooden door and motioned for Lucilla to enter. She found herself in a small anteroom, sparsely furnished with a straw mat on the floor on the corner of the room, no doubt the slave slept there. The slave pointed to a doorway, hung with a curtain. "My master's room."

Lucilla pushed the curtain aside and stepped within. It was hardly better than the anteroom, small and simply decorated, with few apparent possessions. Was this how he lived? The room was not quite dark for the sky was light tonight and a thin beam came through the small high window. She could see his bed and knew he was asleep; his regular breathing was the only sound she could hear.

Moving closer, Lucilla observed him. It was a warm night and the room was poorly ventilated. Maximus appeared to be naked beneath a light sheet which he had pushed back to reveal his chest and hips. Her cheeks burned red at the sight of him so innocently displayed before her, her eyes lingering on the prominent bulge below. Checking that the curtain was closed behind her, she let slip her cloak and then removed her simple shift; she was naked beneath.

With her heart beating so hard that she feared he would hear it and her knees almost knocking with fright, Lucilla gently lay down beside him and wriggled beneath the sheet. He sensed the presence but did not wake, merely throwing one arm above his head and leaning against it, his other arm resting on his abdomen. Feeling more confident, she raised herself on one arm and watched him. Maximus looked so peaceful, his face relaxed and like a boy's in sleep, his lashes flickering slightly as if he were dreaming, a tiny smile playing about his shapely lips. Lucilla leant forward and kissed him. His arms slid round her instinctively and he pulled her to him, throwing one leg over her and pinning her to the bed. For a moment she felt afraid; but he settled back to sleep and her heart slowed down again.

What was she to do now? Why had she come? In her heart she knew but now that she was there her nerve began to fail her; moreover she was unsure what a woman might do to arouse a man. A kiss had merely made him stir. What would make him respond? Lucilla lay and thought about the things Maximus had done to her and how they had made her feel. She had been told that sex was more pleasurable for men than women - so what did men want which could give them greater pleasure than what Maximus had given her? Perhaps she should do what he had done. But the idea made her blush.

Lowering her head to his chest, she kissed his nipple and used her tongue with feather like movements, as he had done with her, to see if it elicited the same reaction. It did! He moaned in his sleep and arched his back a little. Bolder now, she placed her hand on his other nipple and tweaked it gently- another sigh. Tentatively, her hands trembling, she touched the hair on his chest and stroked down his muscular abdomen, fingering the many scars.

When Lucilla's hand reached his navel and brushed the hair that sprouted thicker below, she thought of how he had touched her intimate places; did she dare do that to him? As she contemplated slipping her hand beneath the sheet towards the swell of his manhood, she paused in shock. The sheet appeared to move towards her and something hard rose up; she gasped with incomprehension. At that moment some involuntary instinct possessed her lover and he thrust her hand against his swollen penis, forcing her to grasp it, encircling her hand in his own.

Lucilla cried out and Maximus woke up. He jerked awake and stared in horror at the sight, speechless and unable to believe what he had done. Lucilla was also staring, but no longer in fear - she was intrigued by his member. He pulled her hand away and tried to cover himself with the sheet but she shrugged his hand away and threw the covering back again.

"Let me see!"

"I... thought it was a dream," was all Maximus could say.

"I want to love you."

"You should not be here."

"But I am here and I refuse to leave."

"Stop looking at me, Lucilla. It is not a sight for a young woman's eyes."

"I like to look at you. I never believed a man would look like this."

Leaning over Lucilla took him in her hand while he feebly tried to push her away- with little real effort. She ran her finger over the tip and brushed away the trickle of fluid that oozed out. Unsure what to do next, she tweaked it and he winced. "Show me what to do?" No longer able to withstand, Maximus placed his hand over hers and began to work himself, showing her how to jerk the skin and pull it back in a smooth, rhythmic motion.

As she mastered the method, he dropped his hand and lay back, his eyes closed and his breath heavy. Lucilla observed his behaviour and realised he was losing the struggle to control himself - she was as completely in charge of him as he had been of her by the lake. The feeling of desire that had swept over her earlier in the day began to return and she sensed the wetness flowing between her thighs. Inhibitions loosened by her lust, she instinctively dropped her head to kiss his throbbing manhood and he thrust himself into her mouth; she tried to suck him in but found herself choking.

Her reaction woke him to reality and he reached out and pulled her up, stroking her hair and laying her back on the pillow. Roling above her, he bent and kissed her deep; she felt the hard ness of his penis against her lower belly; he was instinctively rubbing himself against her as he paid attention to her mouth.  His eyes were hooded and half closed as he pushed her legs apart, using his knee to aid him while he began to run his hand along her moist slit until he felt her ready. Holding his weight off her on his bent knee, he slid his hands beneath her buttocks and tilted her forward until she was in a better position and then he guided himself to her opening. She was tight and his first push caused her to stiffen even more.

"Relax, Lucilla. Let your body go. If you tense, I will hurt you more," he moaned in her ear, his lips playing with the delicate lobe..

"You are too big for me!"

"Trust me." She stared up at him and he smiled. It was enough; Lucilla felt a falling sensation; he noted the change and thrust again until he came against the barrier of her maidenhead.

"Lucilla. I must hurt you now. I will be quick and then you will feel nothing but pleasure. Trust me."

She felt him pull back and tense the muscles of his buttocks and then one hard thrust and a burning, ripping pain seared through her and he broke through, his passage further eased by the gush of blood. Lucilla cried out and then moaned as he filled her and drove deeper and deeper into her. Never in her life had she imagined such exquisite pleasure and such reckless abandon; she cared not if anyone heard her cries nor saw her writhing beneath him. Just when she believed she would die of it all, she felt a change in him as his orgasm burst and shuddered into her, spraying his hot, wet seed inside.

Maximus stopped shaking and slumped upon her, still taking care to support his weight on his arms. She held him and brushed the beads of sweat from his forehead, aware of her own body, wet, bloody and dripping in perspiration. As their heads cleared and the passion died away, the full knowledge of what they had done dawned upon them. It was Maximus who reacted first.

Recoiling from her, he sat up on the edge of the bed and sank his head in his hands, unable to comprehend his actions. Lucilla knelt behind him, arms around his shoulders, trying to comfort him.

"How could I have done this? What madness has possessed me? All my life I have tried to take the path of honour but now I have despoiled the only thing that I have ever loved, behaving in the basest way merely to serve my own lust. Lucilla, what have I done?"

"You have done nothing. It was I who sought you out. It was I who drove you over the brink. But I cannot believe that we have acted basely. What we have just done is a thing of beauty; you have honoured me with your body as I have tried to do for you with mine. Maximus, listen to me. I am a woman now and you are my man. Don't spoil this moment with regret."

He turned to her and held her face in his hands. "And if you have a child? What then? Will the world see this as we do?"

"A child? I didn't think. Could I have a child after just one night? Does this always bring a baby?"

"Lucilla! Do you know so little? It is possible at any time. We are in the hands of the gods now. Pray that you bleed this month because if you don't ..." Maximus could not finish. It would mean his life but for her? Shame, banishment - she might as well be dead.

"I am ready to face the consequences. I would rather die than not have known you."

Maximus kissed her and wiped a tear from her burning cheek. "You must go back. We have been reckless- others will have heard. Before you are detected, I will have Cicero lead you back. Never come here again, Lucilla. Promise me!"

"Does this mean that this is the end?"

"I don't know. I have to think. But never here again. This place is not safe for you."

While Lucilla dressed, Maximus wrapped the sheet round his waist and went into the outer room to speak with Cicero. In silence, he returned and motioned for Lucilla to come forward. As she passed through the curtained doorway, Maximus pulled her to him and kissed her deeply once more, unashamed even before his manservant. Pulling her cloak tightly about her she went out into the corridor and left him alone with his thoughts.

VII

The next morning Marcus Aurelius met with his legates and cavalry officers. A large scouting party was to be sent out to scour Quadi territory. Reports had reached them that weapons were being stockpiled and the tribes may have been taking advantage of the quieter summer months to gather for an autumn attack. Certain cohorts were chosen to bear the brunt; several officers volunteered for inclusion. One of those was Maximus Meridius.

The emperor called him back when the others were leaving. "Maximus- there is no reason for you to be involved in this. Your unit has done more than its fair share this year. You are well overdue leave."

"I have no desire for leave. Where would I go? I'm bored in the fort and feel like some action. But it is your decision, Caesar." Maximus bowed and waited for his orders.

Marcus Aurelius shrugged. So Lucilla hadn't been enough to amuse him. He still preferred a taste of battle to the delights of flirting with a pretty maiden. There was no doubt that the commanding officer wanted his presence- who wouldn't? "Of course you may go. Unleash some hell, Maximus. It seems to be what you are best at!"

He was gone for three weeks. Lucilla could not believe what he had done. ' Run away! Taken his pleasure and run! Leaving me to bear the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy- I suppose he can return and act all innocent- he was in the field when it happened, no one could suspect his involvement!' She raged at him by day but at night when she lay alone, she pulled aside her clothing and touched herself as he had done, eyes closed and lost in memories.

The day her bleeding started she threw herself on her knees and thanked Juno for her clemency. At least she had been spared that even should she have to suffer the loneliness of never touching him again. Sometimes she wondered if he might be in danger; he was as soldier in enemy country and, by all accounts, seemed to seek trouble out. Despite her anger with him, her blood ran cold to think he might be wounded, killed, his body mutilated by foul barbarians. But on one fine July afternoon, the bugles sounded heralding the return of the war party and she rushed to the battlements with all the others to watch the men return.

Men had been lost and wounded; that was clear by the number of rider-less horses and the injured but Maximus was there, riding near the rear of the column, dirty, bloody, bearded but the finest thing Lucilla had ever seen. As she gazed upon him, he must have felt her eyes because he raised his head and met her look and she knew then nothing had changed. He had gone away to think and had made his decision; he still loved her. The smile he saved for her played on his lips and he gave a slight side wards toss of his head; she should meet him in the stables!

Slipping quietly away, she made her way out and through the throng of milling men and horses to the stables. Waiting by the rear door, tucking herself within the shadows, she saw him dismount and lead his horse into its stall, dismissing grooms and attending to his steed himself. Seizing an opportunity when everyone seemed otherwise engaged, Lucilla slipped into the stall and into his arms. He smelt of sweat and dirt and blood; of horses and of mud; the odour drove her mad with desire. His beard rasped against her skin as he drove his mouth against hers and pressed her to him, bruising her against the hard leather of his lorica and the metal of his cingula.

"Maximus! You are safe. But I am angry with you! Why did you steal away and leave me? "

"I am a soldier. I have my orders. But first- you. You have bled?"

She nodded. "Thank the Gods. I have prayed for that each day. You too are safe."

"You have had time to think?" His turn to nod. "And your conclusion?"

"We must be careful. No more risks. There is something I can do to protect you."

"You still want me?"

Maximus swung her round in his arms and pulled her down behind his horse in a mound of hay. "Want you? I have dreamed of you night and day. There is no power on earth that can keep me from you. I love you, Lucilla, and refuse to deny myself this chance- it may be the only love I ever know. But we must not be hasty. Chances will be few and far between. No night time visits- perhaps we can sneak a few rides in the countryside to be alone- that will have to be enough."

An idea suddenly came to Lucilla. She rolled on top of him and stroked his hair. "Perhaps there is a way... I will think of something, my love- trust me!" And rising to her feet, she blew him a kiss and disappeared. Maximus lay back in the hay, his head resting on his arms. "I must be mad. But what the hell! You can only die once. It might as well be for love of her than face down in the mud of a battlefield. At least I will die with the taste of pleasure on my lips." And, typically of Maximus, once his mind was made up, there would be no changing him. He would play this one to the end as he did with everything.

That night at dinner with her family, Lucilla composed herself and began the speech she had prepared, trying to sound casual and nonchalant, as if the idea had just occurred to her. "I have enjoyed Carnuntum more than I expected to but I do so miss a summer without the sea. Are we so far here from the coast?"

Her father laughed at her ignorance. "A very long way- the nearest sea is Italy! But I agree- the month of August begs for lazy days on the beach and near the water. That gives me an idea. Do you remember Lake Balatona? We spent some time there when you were smaller, the summer before Commodus was born." Marcus Aurelius smiled at the memory; Commodus had been conceived that balmy summer. "Perhaps you would like a few weeks there? It isn't the sea but there is a beach and the Lake is so vast it will seem like a sea. We have a house there, a fairly modest villa but adequate for a small party. What do you think, Faustina?"

So far, so good. Now how to get Maximus there? She remembered he had said that he was overdue leave. Perhaps he could take it and go there himself; they could rendezvous secretly. Lucilla recalled the place well; the villa was almost a private house, easy to come and go unseen. But she need not have feared; the gods were smiling on her.

"We'll need a few men for the journey- a troop of Praetorian should do but I won't keep them there- there's nowhere to bivouac them and you wouldn't want me to turn the estate into a temporary fort. I'll bring Maximus Meridius and a few of his men, they will be enough for security and he'll be glad of a rest after this last sortie."

Lucilla held her breathe; could anything have worked out better? The next day she found that it could. Her mother was unwell- a slight fever and not well enough to travel. Commodus was beside himself with disappointment that the trip should be cancelled and he begged that they might be allowed to go without Mama. Lucilla said nothing, more than happy for her brother to manoeuvre the situation to suit herself. At last it was decided. The children should go first with slaves and an armed guard and then the emperor would follow with his wife as soon as she was fit to travel. By the morning of the following day, the trip was ready to leave and make the hundred or so mile journey south to the lake.

The three-day journey was heaven in itself. Lucilla and Commodus travelled in the imperial coach but as the weather was so hot, they often chose to ride above- Commodus loved to take the reins and drive while Lucilla invariably chose a horse- usually finding herself accompanied by Maximus. It was difficult to sleep at night, knowing that she was just a few yards away in the coach while he lay close by on a bed roll on the ground but it was only for a few days- soon they would be sharing a real bed together beneath cool linen sheets.

"Imagine Maximus- whole nights together, sleeping in my bed with no one to discover us!" exclaimed Lucilla as they rode along.

He put on a solemn face and shook his head. "No chance of that, Lucilla."

"What! Surely you have not changed your mind! After all I have done to arrange this?"

"No chance of sleep, Lucilla. I plan to keep you awake, my girl, all night, every night!" He grinned and rode on ahead, leaving her tingling with anticipation.

VIII

Commodus was in his element. He felt as if he had complete freedom at Lake Balatona- there was no one to discipline him. The slaves did not dare, Lucilla did not seem to mind what he did as long as he left her alone and even tribune Maximus, who was usually quite stern with him, encouraged him to go off and explore whenever he wanted. Sometimes Maximus took him out to fish or hunt, he gave him swordplay lessons and seemed more good-humoured than in the fort - the tribune was on holiday too and must be more relaxed. Commodus' days were so full that he slept soundly every night and had not suffered any of his nightmares recently. Lucilla always brought him a warm drink and put him to bed at night- even she seemed to be more tolerant of him these days.

One night, Commodus woke up suddenly, something having disturbed him. It was pitch black in his room for his candle had burnt down and, as usual, he felt fearful. Climbing out of bed, he went to the balcony to open the door and let in some moonlight and heard some voices. Intrigued by who was talking so late into the night, he stepped out onto the veranda and followed the sound. It came from his sister's room. Her door was open and he could hear her laughter, high and tinkling. But she was talking to someone. Another voice was answering her but it was not a slave girl- this voice was deep and low, a man's voice, vaguely familiar. Peeping through the open door, Commodus watched.

Lying in his sister's bed, he saw a man, propped up against the pillows, only a sheet covering his obvious nakedness. A naked man in his sister's bed? He could not see the face of the intruder for his sister was sitting with her back to the door, facing the man, wearing only her shift. Suddenly Lucilla rose up from the bed and went to the side table to pour a cup of wine and hand it to the man and Commodus gasped- it was Maximus!

But this was a Maximus he hardly recognised, laughing, smiling and teasing Lucilla, nothing like the serious military man. Commodus knew something of the affairs of men and women but his detailed knowledge was vague. However he knew that a young woman like Lucilla should allow no intimacy with any man, not even her betrothed, until her wedding night- and here she was in bed with a naked soldier, behaving like a camp slut. The young boy was intrigued; he wanted to know what they did together- a strange, hot sensation flooding over him.

As he watched, Lucilla knelt back on the bed and slowly pulled her shift over her head until she was naked before Maximus. Commodus could only see her slender back and the curve of her tiny buttocks resting on her feet, but the sight of her made him even hotter and more heady. She took the cup of wine from Maximus' hand and drank from it herself and then she raised it over Maximus' chest, dribbling a trickle of wine down him and discarding the empty cup on the floor. Leaning forward, so that her buttocks rose before her brother's eyes, like a soft peach, she bent down and licked the wine from the tribune's body.

He responded by caressing her naked cheeks. A sudden desire to touch her there himself came over Commodus and he felt a stab of jealousy that this soldier could touch his sister with his large, rough hands where he himself was denied. Rolling Lucilla down beside him, she slipped beneath the sheet and the couple began to kiss while touching each other beneath the covers. For a long time they continued to enjoy each other, Lucilla sighing and Maximus moaning - whatever they were doing it was most pleasurable. All at once, Maximus moved above his sister and began to push himself roughly against her; he could see Lucilla's legs wrapped round the man and her body writhe beneath him.

To Commodus' horror, Maximus seemed to be hurting her; he was grunting with the effort of his force and she was crying "No, NO, NO!" but still he thrust into her until in a final groan he pulled away, shuddering; then fell upon her. Commodus wondered if his sister had fainted or even worse- perhaps he had killed her? But to his surprise, she opened her eyes and began to murmur his name and stroke his hair as he lay between her breasts. She had enjoyed it!

Running back to his room, Commodus jumped back into bed and covered himself with his sheet. His heart was racing and his mind was swirling. But he knew what he had seen. That is what men and women do. Like dogs and bitches. He wanted to learn more. Commodus decided to watch another night and see if this strange event was repeated. As he recalled the sight, he dropped his hand into his loincloth and felt his penis harden. Thinking of his sister's naked body and the expression on her face as Maximus rammed into her, he began to touch himself.

The following night, Lucilla put him to bed as usual and handed him his glass of warmed milk. "This will make you sleep, Commodus, drink it down." She bent over to kiss his forehead but he raised his head and caught her full on her lips. Lucilla backed away, a little shocked at his behaviour. 'You don't pull your head away when Maximus kisses your lips', the boy thought with envy. Covering him up with a blanket, Lucilla left one lamp burning and went from the room. The boy decided not to drink his milk; he had no wish to sleep.

Some time later, when his eyelids had already begun to grow heavy, Commodus, heard the approach of someone on the balcony. Allowing time for the person to pass, he slipped out of bed and made his way to his sister's room for the second time. The door was closed, but the window shutters were open and the boy settled down on the bench outside and rested his head upon the ledge to peer through. Maximus had swept Lucilla into his arms and was swinging her round. As he rested her back on to the ground and pulled her to him to kiss her, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around him, his hands supporting her buttocks.

He placed her on the bed and she knelt down and stripped his tunic from him and then undid his loincloth- Commodus could not believe that she could do such a thing. Maximus seemed unconcerned to stand before her naked and enjoyed her eyes appraising him. Commodus himself looked pruriently at the man. He felt a rush of jealousy when he beheld the magnificent male body; powerful, muscular with an impressive manhood even in a flaccid state. This is what pleased his sister. The boy thought of his own child's body with embarrassment and envy. One day he would be a man like Maximus and he would please his sister; the idea that it might be wrong did not seem to occur to him- after all what Lucilla was doing with Maximus was hardly right, he thought.

Maximus removed his sister's clothes slowly and Commodus saw the full beauty of her body; she looked more comely than any statue of a goddess that he had ever seen. Transfixed, he observed the lovemaking of the pair; this time no sheet covering their acts. He had never even dreamed that such things occurred- that his sister could lower herself to service this man in such intimate ways and allow him to do the same to her. He felt both sickened and enflamed by what he saw. Commodus remained at the window until they finally fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, oblivious to the unseen watcher and the effects their deeds would have not only in the near future but also on their lives to come.

IX

Marcus Aurelius and his wife arrived at Lake Balatona two weeks after their children to find Lucilla glowing and sun-bronzed, full of life- the holiday had been good for her. Commodus was a little subdued but he was such a moody child that it was not unusual for him; his mother and father gave it little thought. They settled down to enjoying a few weeks' peaceful relaxation- Faustina particularly desiring a convalescence after her recent bout of ill health.

It appeared that Maximus had had little to do but relax also- the emperor did not think he had ever seen the tribune look so well or carefree. This was how he should look at his age, he thought, not weighed down with responsibilities- it had been a good plan to let him accompany the family. Maximus seemed happy to fall in with the family's arrangements; attending dinners, leading them on gentle rides through the countryside or playing with Commodus and Lucilla at board games in the evening. He was becoming like an older brother- certainly more so than any of his older sons had even been to the younger ones. How he wished that Maximus had been his son; someone for Lucilla and Commodus to look up to! The notion crossed his mind to adopt the young man; he himself had been adopted as an adult by Antoninus Pius; many emperors preferred to choose their heirs rather than accept those that nature gave them. But it was a ridiculous idea; Maximus, fine soldier that he was, had neither the learning nor the finesse to carry off the role of Caesar- and would never want such a thing, he was sure; but it was a pleasant fiction nevertheless.

The warm weather and gentle lifestyle seemed to work its magic on both the emperor and his wife; he decided to visit her that night for the first time in many months and she seemed more than happy to welcome her lord. Later than night, the hot weather broke and a lightening storm disturbed him. Suddenly the door to his wife's room was flung back and Commodus came rushing in, clearly terrified by the noise- he was such a nervous child.

Commodus jumped on the bed and was shocked to encounter his father there; it had never occurred to him that his father and mother might share a bed- did they do what Lucilla and Maximus did? As his father consoled him, the memories of his sister's lewd behaviour came to his mind and he felt further shut out by his mother and father's proximity. An idea struck him; why not get Lucilla into trouble? That would stop her fun and games and then he could have her back for himself without having to share her with some common soldier.

"Father, I was scared."

"It's only thunder and lightening, my boy. It will pass."

"I wasn't scared of that! I was scared of what I saw in Lucilla's room."

"Lucilla's room? There's nothing there. You must have seen a shadow on the wall or a dress hanging behind a door!"

"No father! Let me show you!"

Commodus jumped from the bed and led his father out onto the balcony. The emperor puzzled by the boy's insistence, let him guide him until he reached the entrance to his daughter's room. His son placed a conspiratorial finger on his lips and quietly pushed the door open. Something warned Marcus that he should go no further but the boy was already inside and his own curiosity drove him forward.

Stepping within, he saw Commodus triumphantly pointing to the bed and the scene laid out before them. Lucilla was curled up within the arms of his tribune Maximus, both were naked, both were sleeping. Their love was plain upon their faces; it was a scene of beauty and innocence, what any father would wish for his daughter to discover with a man. And yet it was treason; a crime so abominable that it was punishable by a slow, lingering death.

The emperor cried a silent howl of anguish; this was his own doing. He had pushed them together; he had encouraged Maximus to search for love, never thinking that he would choose the only woman in the world not available to him. Eros! It does not just mean erotic love between a man and woman- it is also the Greek name of that malicious spirit, Cupid, whose sole purpose is to cause mayhem in the human world by piercing the bosoms of the most ill suited men and women with his love darts. The irony was not lost on him.

Dragging Commodus quietly outside, he returned him to his room.

"Father, it wasn't just sleep. They did terrible things to each other- sordid, crude acts that would shame you..."

"Commodus, be quiet! They are in love. It is not shame to them. One day you will understand. I warn you, boy. Never speak of this again! They will be dealt with but no one else is ever to know. Do you understand me! No one!"

Commodus was shocked at his father's response. 'It is as if I have done something wrong, not them!' he muttered as his father left the room.

Marcus Aurelius returned to his daughter's room and steeled himself for what he must do. He gazed upon the lovers for a few moments more, allowing them the last touch before he had to part them forever. Then he touched Maximus' arm. With the instinct of a soldier, Maximus woke immediately and just as quickly realised his predicament. He closed his eyes briefly as if to clear his mind and then gently freed himself from Lucilla's embrace. Rising from the bed, he covered her over with a sheet and turned to the emperor, falling on his knees before him.

"Caesar. Punish me. She is innocent. I took advantage of her and deserve to die- but spare her."

"Dress yourself and wait in my room. We will discuss it there."

Maximus was waiting when the emperor entered. He stood to attention, straight backed and head up, no sign of fear or apprehension in his eyes. Marcus Aurelius knew that if he demanded it of him, Maximus would open his veins there and then without demure or lower his head to a praetorian's sword- but he would not show fear; it was an emotion alien to him.

"Stand easy, Maximus. I'm not angry with you. I will not demand your death. It would be a waste and I abhor waste. This is as much my fault as yours- and I expect my daughter was not entirely innocent in it either. I should have listened to my wife- she warned me that this could happen. We have all been fools."

"I have despoiled the emperor's daughter."

"You have done no such thing. You have probably given her more than any man she will ever know for the rest of her life. If I were a private citizen, I would give her to you with pride- there could be no better husband. But I am the emperor and my daughter belongs to Rome. She will marry her betrothed as soon as I can arrange it. You knew about her betrothal?"

It was obvious from Maximus' face that he did not. Lucilla had not been honest with him; he would never have touched her if had known she was already pledged to another.

"Lucius Verus. The co-emperor. Don't worry- her lack of maidenhead will not bother him. He's after the throne not her virginity. What he says to Lucilla on their wedding night, however, will be a different matter- but he will not put her aside. As long as there is no issue- you have attempted to avoid issue, I hope! Your famous self-control would be well in demand there." Maximus nodded, shamefaced.

"What do you ask of me, Caesar?"

"I'm sending you away tomorrow."

"Another legion?"

"No, Maximus."

"Discharge?"

"Do you think I am insane as well as foolish? No, I am sending you home for a long holiday. Time to review your life and decide what you want to do with it for a change. Visit your estate, take care of your affairs, see the world- it's up to you. When you return in the spring it will be to a new rank. Cavalry legate."

"Promotion? But I deserve punishment."

"Promotion, Maximus- it is overdue. Your own command- 500 cavalry. Call it promotion for ' services rendered' over and above the call of duty." The emperor's eyes were twinkling. Maximus blushed. "But there is punishment. You will never see her again. I will allow you to meet her one more time in my principia tomorrow morning and then no more. No letters, nothing. If you ever attempt to see her or communicate with her again- you know what I will have to do?" A nod from Maximus.

"One last thing. When you return- bring a wife back with you. You need a woman- find one who is free to love you, as you deserve. It is part of your commission- a direct order from the emperor, which cannot be disobeyed. Now back to your own room and let's try to get some sleep."

Lucilla saw her father the next morning after receiving a summons at first light. She had found the bed empty and wondered why Maximus had left without a word; she soon found out. Her father was somewhat sterner with her than he had been with Maximus; he suspected that she had set her mind to have the tribune and had worn down his defences- it was evident she had not informed him of her betrothal. His daughter bore the news of their discovery white faced but she did not cry. She faced her father proudly and told him she felt no shame; she loved Maximus and he was her true husband in spirit if not in name.

"How much do you love him, Lucilla?"

"With all my heart."

"Do you love him enough to break his?"

"I don't understand."

"Lucilla, you have played with his heart. He is a steadfast man and will love you all his life. It will ruin him. The last tenderness you can do for him is to break his heart. Make him believe that you merely trifled with him and have no real affection. You are a good liar, daughter. Free him from you so that he can love again. That way at least one of you can live."

Leaving Lucilla with that command, he withdrew and sent a slave to bring the tribune. Some time later, Maximus entered and stood quietly waiting for Lucilla to turn round. She heard his arrival and closed her eyes, calling on all her reserves of strength for what she must do.

"Lucilla?"

"Maximus. Made a bit of a mess of things, didn't we? It's a good job father has a sense of humour, eh? Well, that's that, I suppose. Never mind. It was good while it lasted- so good, Maximus. Whenever you're in Rome, let's meet. We could have such fun- no one gives a damn what you do in Rome!"

"Lucilla, what are you talking about? Don't make this sound like a joke. We can never see each other again. We are lucky to be alive. Why did you not tell me you were betrothed? Are you hysterical? I don't understand your reaction."

"Oh, Maximus. Must you always be so serious about everything! It was just a summer romance. I didn't tell you about Verus because, well, it's nothing to do with you really. I just wanted to have some fun before I settled down to duty and all that stuff. You were the perfect catch- such a challenge to win over but worth the chase. Much better than some of the men I had trifled with in Rome. I'm so glad I waited for a real stallion and didn't settle for just any old ride."

While she had spoken, she saw his face change; his blue green eyes grew steely and flashed with anger, his jaw twitched with restrained fury.

"I take it, madam, that I was just a stud for your pleasure. I think I must have been misled. I risked my career and my reputation for you and thought you were the woman of my dreams. What a fool I was! I was better off with the town whores- they have more honesty than you. In my province, Lusitania, they call Rome the Great Whore that sucks the life from the citizens of the rest of the Empire. I didn't know I had met the Whore Mistress herself," he roared.

As he spoke he had walked over to her and grasped her neck in his hand as if he would break it. His spittle ran down her face but she stared him back defiantly. Suddenly she laughed. "What a provincial bore you are. Do you think that I ever wanted anything more from you than your rather spectacular body? It certainly wasn't about your mind, was it?"

At that he threw her from him and turned to go. Reaching the door, he looked at her once more: "Eros?" he shouted and he spat on the floor and left.

Lucilla's legs gave way and she fell upon the ground, bent double and holding her hand to her heart. She thought that the pain would kill her. Deep shuddering sobs came from within her as she struggled even to breathe. The image of his face as he had roared at her was fixed in her mind. He would hate her forever. Whenever he thought of her he would remember her words and hate her. But he was free. And she was trapped into a prison of pain and loneliness forever.