Rome, 183AD, late spring.

Athenais' litter stopped in front of Hadrian's Mausoleum and she stepped down from it, walking up to the marble steps to enter the huge, silent building. It was cold inside, and only few torches and lamps enlightened the large hall. But despite the scarce light, she had no problem finding the carved, marbled sarcophagus that contained Marcus Aurelius' remains.

Athenais touched with reverence the bas-relief that represented the late emperor on horseback, then bowed her head and began to pray. Since her return in Rome two days before, she had felt the desire to come to the place where her patron rested, to tell him she had been finally able to give the act he had written to its legitimate addressee. To tell him that she and General Maximus were now working together to make his last wishes reality, and to stop Commodus from destroying everything and everyone the late Caesar had held dear.

Maximus... Athenais could understand very well why Marcus Aurelius had loved the man so much. He had all the virtues the emperor appreciated and more: he was intelligent, decisive and confident, but also humble, modest and hard-working. During their journey from Hispania he had never hesitated to help her servants every time and in every way he could. He had groomed the horses and mules, collected water from the rivers, searched wood for the fire, raised and disbanded their camp, mounted guard during the nights, spending also a lot of time training with his sword to regain his past efficiency as warrior. All of this had caused great admiration in Athenais and her servants, but she had sensed there was something wrong in his behaviour. Marcus Aurelius had always described him as a very warm, friendly man; a silent type for sure, but ready to share companionship and a very good listener. Instead the man who had travelled with her, and was now living hidden in her villa, was cold and distant. He was always polite, but did not let anyone come too near him. Athenais did not like it very much and was even a bit worried by the situation. She had seen, by the way he had treated his dying servant and herself the night they had first talked, what Maximus was a very caring man, but now it seemed he has suppressed his most human side to become a cold being, a soldier intent only on planning his enemy's downfall.

"But perhaps he is right to do so," she said to herself, "and I am wrong to have such thoughts. Perhaps he had always been so before battles. After all, what do I really know about him?"

Athenais raised her head and after a bow to Marcus Aurelius' marble portrait, she turned to go away and return home. She had just made few steps in the direction of the exit, when four Praetorians entered the mausoleum, and one of them ordered her to move to the side. Athenais obeyed and a few seconds later Commodus appeared on the threshold. She immediately bowed in salute and submission. Steps echoed on the marbled pavement and stopped in front of her.

"Caesar," she said.

"Athenais." Commodus played the part of the gracious sovereign, reached out a hand and invited her to rise.

Athenais obeyed, kissed the ring on the hand offered to her, but remained with her head bowed, not out of respect, but only because she wanted to be in perfect control of her emotion before meeting Commodus' eyes.

"My dear Athenais, please, raise your gaze," Caesar began, and she complied.  "I trust you had a good journey from Hispania."

"I had, Caesar. Thank you."

 "What are you doing here?"

"I came to bring homage to your great father, Caesar. I usually do it on the anniversary of his death, but this year I could not because I was out of Rome."

"I see." Someone else entered the mausoleum in that moment and Commodus and Athenais turned their heads to see who it was. "Sister!" Caesar exclaimed, "Look who I found here near the tomb of our father!"

Lucilla smiled and approached the other woman, exchanging a salute with her. 

"How are you, my lady?" asked Athenais, taking note of her friend's tired face. "And Lucius?"

"Oh, Lucius is fine," interjected Commodus, "He is very happy to be back here in Rome near me, instead of living in that forsaken place. By the way how did you find the property where I sent you? Did you like it? I heard its previous owner did not care a lot about it... or the people that lived there." It was a blatant lie and an innuendo directed to Lucilla and Athenais did not know how to answer. Luckily Commodus was not truly interested in a reply and added, "You and Lucius could go to visit Athenais one of the afternoons when there are no games."

Games? Athenais wondered. Had Commodus staged another set of gladiatorial games after the 150 days he had organized to honour his father's memory? She looked questioningly at Lucilla and she nodded, before adding, "Could we come next week, the day of the Ides?"

"It is perfect, my lady. I will have my cook prepare those honey biscuits Lucius likes so much."

Lucilla smiled, loving to hear about her son, but once again Commodus intruded in the conversation and effectively stopped it.

"Good. Then it is settled. Now we must go, we are already late for today's games." And without ceremony he wrapped a possessive arm around his sister's waist and led her outside, as Athenais watched the scene with impassive eyes, even if, inside her, she was smiling. Without knowing it, Commodus had just offered her and Maximus a chance to talk with Lucilla in private.

Everything was going as planned.  

Maximus mimicked the umpteenth attack against an imaginary opponent, then put the gladius on a stone bench, wiping the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his tunic. The Roman spring was hot and humid, yet it was not the climate that bothered him, but the inactivity. Since he had arrived in Rome ten days before, he had done nothing else but sleep (badly), eat (a little) and train with the sword (a lot) to regain his past accuracy and speed.

But it was no longer enough. The encounter Athenais had organized with Lucilla was still four days away, and Maximus was already prey to anxiety and impatience. Athenais had told him about her meeting with Commodus and Lucilla, and had said her friend seemed tired and tense. The freedwoman was sure she would side with them, but Maximus would not relax until he heard her say so with his own ears. And more, Athenais had yet to met Falco and get her son back, thus their plan was still up in the air. It was wearing his nerves.

Maximus gripped the gladius again, but instead of lifting it in a combat position, he sheathed it in the scabbard tied to his belt and covered it with his toga.

"I can no longer stay closed up inside this house," he thought, as he left the garden and entered the domus. "Probably touring Rome alone is not the wisest thing to do, but the chance to be recognized by someone is very small." He crossed the atrium, left a message for Athenais to one of her slaves, and in few moments was outside, walking down the Esquiline hill.

Maximus' steps took him to the most beautiful area of Rome and, although his sense of aesthetics was not very refined, he was fascinated by the temples, the basilicas, and the statues of gods and emperors that he saw around him.

When he arrived at the foot of the Flavian Amphitheatre, Maximus remained breathless: never in his entire life had he seen something so imposing and majestic. He could not help but raise his gaze to the top of the giant building as he walked around it.

A few moments of distraction and Maximus was surrounded by a screaming crowd that pushed and elbowed its way to enter the Colosseum and attend the free games offered by the emperor. He cursed himself for inattention, and tried to free himself from the river of people that had channelled him, but it was a losing battle. Thus, in the end, he stopped struggling against that human tide and took his place inside the arena with the rest of the crowd.

Maximus sat in the marble stands and looked around him with a mixture of curiosity and revulsion.

The Colosseum was full of people - men, women and even children - that invoked aloud the start of the games.

"Games," Maximus thought disgusted, "how can they call these useless massacres 'games'? How can they consider it entertaining, watching men kill other men?" He shook his head; he knew that Marcus Aurelius had stopped the gladiatorial combats in Rome about five years before his death, but they had continued in the provinces. Commodus had then organized 150 days of free spectacles to honour his father's memory, thus bringing back the 'sport' in the Urbs for good. Athenais had told Maximus, adding that the new Caesar had sold part of the grain reserves of the city to cope with the expenses for his games. Then she had wondered how he planned to pay for this new round of combats he was offering to the mob to keep it quiet and distract it from the many things that no longer worked in the city.

Maximus' gaze caught a movement in the sand and looked down: a group of gladiators had just made their entry from one of the big gates that opened on the great oval, and the crowd greeted them with a roar. They were about twenty men, all dressed with rough cuirasses and various kinds of helmets; each man had a long spear and a rectangular shield much alike those used by the infantry.

"Oooh!" exclaimed the man sitting beside Maximus excitedly, "They are going to stage a battle! I wonder what it will be? My favourite is the Carthage one. And yours?" He elbowed Maximus to get an answer, but he received only a chilling glance.

"I am used to other kind of battles," Maximus replied in a growl, before his attention was drawn elsewhere. 

Commodus had just appeared in the imperial box and was now saluting the crowd that was calling for him.

"The bastard seems to be radiant," Maximus thought with hatred, a cruel smile on his lips, "Enjoy yourself while you can, Highness, for the time of honouring yourself will soon be at an end."

Looking more closely Maximus then saw Commodus was accompanied by other people among whom he recognized Quintus, Lucilla and her son, Lucius.

Then he returned to concentrate on the gladiators standing in the centre of the arena that the editor had just called "Hannibal's barbarian horde." Maximus could not help but snort. What barbarian horde? He had seen many of them in his many years spent fighting on the Northern frontier and that pathetic group of poor slaves had nothing to do with them. A few minutes later another gate opened and several chariots came through it, beginning to circle the group of gladiator standing in the middle of the ring. The combat began and from the start it turned bad for the men on foot, because they were too easy a target for the arrows of the gladiators who were 'playing' Scipio's legionaries.

Despite himself Maximus was moved by the fight, and began to shout as the people surrounding him. But while the rest of the crowd spurred the 'legionaries' to kill, Maximus' cries were all for the 'barbarians'.

"Stay close, stay close! Lock the shields! You must work together!"

But his scream was lost in the noise that surrounded him and the men down in the arena did not hear him; he could only watch as they were killed one by one. Maximus bowed his head, saddened, when the last one collapsed into the now red sand: they had fought with honour, but against an enemy too strong for them. The crowd around him roared in approval and when the sweetish smell of blood reached his seat, Maximus understood he had had enough, and stood up, walking to the exit.

Once outside, Maximus breathed deeply in the fresh and clear air, and decided to go back to the villa. As he walked he became aware he was deeply shocked, but not by what he had just seen. He was used to the spectacle of death, even if it was the first time he had watched it as a simple spectator. No, that was not the reason behind his inner turmoil; it was his reaction to what he had just seen. For the first time in more than a month he had been moved by something that had nothing to do with his plans against Commodus or his desire for revenge. The wall he had erected between his heart and the rest of the world had crumbled and he did not know if such a change, in the situation he was in, was to be considered positive or negative.

Once at the villa, Maximus ran into the little room where Athenais kept her altar and fell on his knees in front of it. He joined his hands and looked at the figurines in front of his eyes, lit by the tremulous flames of the candles. He had a desperate need to clear his mind and that altar was exactly what he needed. He began to pray.

"Ancestors, I ask you for your guidance. Blessed mother, help me to find the right balance between feeling and duty, and give me the lucidity to finish my task. Blessed father, show me the gods' desire for my future and guide my steps in such delicate moment. Help me to dispel the confusion inside my mind and heart. Beloved wife, cherished son, walk with me in this difficult moment. Ancestors, I honour you, and I will try - as I always done - to live with the dignity you have taught me. Help me to realize my emperor's  dream..."

Maximus did not know how much time he spent kneeling, but when he stood up, his muscles screamed in protest, but he did not mind it: for the first time since the day he had found his family killed he felt in peace with himself. In his prayers, he had found the answers he was looking for and he felt like a new man. Or perhaps, more simply, he had returned to be what he had always been.

That evening at dinner, Athenais watched the man sitting in front of her and smiled. She had not commented on his sudden exit nor his hasty return, but she felt there was something different in him. She had heard it in his voice, seen it in his eyes, sensed it in the way he acted with her slaves and herself. That night he had not been only polite... he had been caring. Her smile became even wider.

"What is it?" Maximus asked. 

Athenais noticed his curious stare and decided to tell him the truth - after all, she reasoned, even if they were not exactly friends, they not strangers either. "Nothing important, I was just thinking about how nice it is to finally meet the real Maximus Decimus Meridius, the man Marcus Aurelius described to me. I was tired of dealing only with an animated statue."

Maximus' eyes widened at her last words and he said, "I am sorry to have been so cold and distant in the past months. I know it must not have been easy to live with me and I apologize for it. It's just I had thought it would have been better to block out all my more...positive emotions, the ones that had been my weak point in the past, to concentrate only on my revenge. But fortunately today I understood that I cannot live like that. I need my emotions. I need my conscience. I need... companionship. The soldier that had awakened again inside me cannot live without the man."

Athenais nodded, but did not comment. It was not necessary, and then she did not want to cause him any embarrassment by telling him how his speech had touched her.

An amicable silence fell on the triclinium and both Maximus and Athenais relaxed, letting the serene atmosphere lull them, forgetting the problems that plagued them. Maximus thought that, in certain aspects, with her quiet but strong personality, Athenais resembled Marcus Aurelius and he could not help but feel admiration and care for her. She truly was a great lady.

Rome, 183AD, two days before the Ides of June.

The day before Lucilla's scheduled visit, Athenais took courage in her hands and went to visit Falco in his villa on the Viminal Hill. She had tried to arrange a public meeting since she had returned home, but the Senator had always been too busy, not attending any of the parties Athenais, as an imperial freedwoman, could have access to. So she opted for a change of tactics and decided to confront him in his own house. It was the first time she had been there, for he had never taken her, even when they had been lovers - they had always met at her home. She hoped that the unexpected visit would take him by surprise, just as the new strategy she wanted to use against him to get Publius back. Athenais would not beg, as she had done in the past, but she would try to be strong and determined. Perhaps, by doing so, Falco would respect her more and grant her wish. Taking Publius away from him - and Commodus - was now imperative. She could not allow herself to fail. Lucilla would come to visit her the next afternoon and only by knowing her boy was safe could she and Maximus proceed with their plan without hesitation. Athenais had already arranged to send her child out of town as soon as he was back to her, to the country villa of one of her best and trusted friends.

Once in front the door of Falco's villa, Athenais took a deep breath and knocked. A servant opened it and looked at her, "Who is?"

"Antonia Athenais; I wish to see Senator Falco. Is he home?" she said with a haughty tone that she hoped would mask her nervousness and made her look very authoritative. It worked. The door-man gave another good look at her dress, to her litter waiting on the street and, surmising she was one of his master's lovers, stepped back from the door, and invited her to come in with a deep bow. "Follow me," the slave told her, as he preceded her along a series of corridors. The Senator did not like to be kept waiting when women were involved, especially if they were so full of character like this one. They finally reached a closed door and he knocked, "Domine, there is a lady wishing to see you."

The door opened immediately and, after a polite bow, the servant left Athenais and Falco alone. As she had hoped, he was surprised by seeing her there, so much so that he did not react when she pushed him aside and marched into his study. Then he shook himself, and followed her, closing the door.

"Athenais," he began with a grin, "It is a pleasure to see you. I knew you had returned from Hispania, but did not expect your visit. What can I do for you?"

As if he does not really know, she thought, before saying aloud, "I want to see my son, and I am tired of hearing a 'no' as an answer."

Falco's false grin left his lips, as his face hardened and he stepped closer to her, trying to impress her with his superior size, "How do you dare to talk to me in that way?" he hissed.

Athenais held her ground, refusing to be cowed. "It is my right. A friend that works in the Censor's office told me you never formally adopted Publius and that I still am his legal mother." Outwardly she sounded firm and in control, but inwardly she was as scared as a little bird.

Falco grimaced, and an ironic smile appeared on his face. "I see. And what would you do? Accuse me of kidnapping him?"

"If I must, yes."

"Oh my, I think it would be rather interesting to see a mere freedwoman drag a senator into court, but it will not be necessary to arrive at that point." Falco smirked and walked around his desk, sitting down in his chair, without even bothering to offer a seat to Athenais. She did not care.

"What do you mean? Will you let me see Publius?"

"Yes - if you first do something for me." He gave her a long, calculating look.

"What?" She asked, already dreading the answer.

"I want you to... get close to Senator Gaius. Caesar and I suspect he might be plotting against the throne, but we cannot execute him without sure proof of his treason, for his two younger brothers are both legion commanders, and they could revolt if his guilt is not certain. So, my dear, I want you to get close to him, enter in his good graces, spy on him and report to me about all the people he meets, the places where he goes and the things he does."

"But how can I do it?"

"I told you, get close to him. Gaius is said to have the most beautiful women of Rome as lovers and you, my dear, rank among the best. In truth I am surprised he never made a pass at you." Falco stood up, circled the desk and moved near her, tracing a line on her cheek with his index finger. Athenais fought hard to not whip her head away. "You are a beauty, my dear. I am sure Gaius will not resist you if you are nice with him. You will end up in his bed in no time...and I have heard he talks in his sleep." Then he turned away and when he spoke again his tone, from sweet and persuasive, became hard and cold. "Now leave me, and don't come back until you have some information for me."

"Then you will let me see Publius?" Athenais asked, desperately needing a confirmation as she tried to cope with what she had been ordered to do.

"Yes - if I like what you have to say to me. Now get out, I have no more time to lose."

Athenais nodded, and almost ran to the door, wanting to be away from that place and its owner as soon as she could, feeling nauseous at the mere idea of she would have to do to get her son.

Maximus was home when Athenais returned. As soon as he heard her servants salute her, he left his room and went to the atrium to greet her. His face fell when he saw she was alone, that there was no little boy with her. His eyes searched hers, with a mute question.

"Let's go to my study," she said, and Maximus felt his anxiety increase at her tired, defeated tone.

Once they were closed in the tablinium, he asked, "What happened? Was Falco not at home?"

"No, he was."

"Did he refuse to let you see your son then?"

Athenais looked at him with liquid eyes. "Yes... no... He said he will let me see Publius, but only after I do something for him..." she turned her head away and stared at the wall.

"And what would that be?" Maximus enquired, a shiver of premonition running down his back; he knew he was not going to like it.

"He wants me... He wants me to spy on a senator suspected of a plot against Commodus." Athenais still refused to meet Maximus' eyes. "The man is known to be a great womanizer and Falco wants me to become his lover."

"Gods!" Maximus was stunned. He could not imagine a man, a Senator of Rome, to be so low, so without scruples... He could not even find an appropriate definition for him. Truth to tell, he should have not been so surprised by such behaviour - was not he Commodus' scheming companion? - but it was still unconceivable for him that a man could ask the mother of his son to prostitute herself... "What do you plan to do?" he asked softly.

Athenais took a deep breath and turned to look straight at him, "I will do what I have to do for my son's sake."

Maximus swallowed hard, awed by her sense of abnegation. "I am sorry," he whispered, "I did not think my plan would lead to this. I made you force Falco's hand and this is the result."

Athenais shook her head and, coming closer to him, touched his bare forearm. "It is not your fault. I have the feeling Falco would have asked this anyway. You must not feel guilty. I am the only one responsible for this situation, for I allowed him to get under my skin."

"How did it happen?" Maximus was curious despite himself. It seemed so strange that such an honourable, honest and good woman as Athenais could have fallen for a snake like Falco. True, love was known to blind people, but still...

She sighed. "It is a long story; it is better to sit down." They did, settling as the opposite ends of the same couch, slightly twisting their waists to face each other. Athenais started to talk. "I met Falco by chance, about six years ago, at the exit of the Circus Maximus. I had lost one of my bracelets; he had seen it fall and given it back to me before a thief might steal it. At that time he was only a newly-elected senator, attractive and very charming, while I was a lonely freedwoman. Marcus Aurelius had freed me two years before, giving me this villa, my servants and a large amount of money too, but despite the joy of my new condition, I felt alone without those I had come to consider as my family: my fellow slaves, Lucilla, Commodus, the emperor himself... I fell in love with Falco almost from the beginning and for the next several months I thought I had found Elysium on Earth. I knew he could never marry me and that sooner or later he would have to find a wife, but I did not care. I loved him and I believed he loved me back, so I was sure we would find a way to remain together. But I was wrong."

Athenais stopped, took a long, defeated breath, and Maximus had to force himself not to slide closer to her and wrap her in a supportive embrace. Then she went on. "Falco never cared for me. I was just a warm body for him, and, as freedwoman so well connected with the imperial family, I was his entry ticket to all the receptions attended by Marcus Aurelius and his heir. Indeed, it was I who introduced him to Commodus. Then, about a year after our first meeting, Falco suddenly stopped writing or visiting me. I was frantic with worry, I thought he might be sick, but instead I got word he had married and had left Rome for a brief trip with his new wife. I was saddened by his behaviour, but I still retained the hope he loved me and that we could go on seeing each other when he returned for, in the meantime, I had discovered I was pregnant. As soon as I got word Falco had returned, I arranged to meet him. He was very cruel with me. He told me our relationship had been good while it had lasted, but now it was over and it was better I accepted it quickly. I should not seek him anymore. I told him about the pregnancy, but he simply laughed and wished me well for the labour. I was devastated by all of this, but the prospect of having my baby, creating my own family, helped me to go on. My son was then born and, despite everything, I named him after his father for, in the bottom of my heart I still retained the hope that Falco would one day return to me. And he did, but not in the way I wished."

Another pause, then, "Six months after Publius' birth, Falco came to visit me. He was very gentle and apologetic and asked to see the child. He was very tender with him, and it warmed my heart to see them together. Then Falco told me his wife had just borne him a daughter. The labour had been very complex and the doctors were not sure she would ever conceive again., but he could not divorce her for political reasons. So... so he asked me to give him Publius. He told me he would adopt him and make him his legitimate heir, giving him the best possible care and education. He also told me that his wife agreed with him. I hesitated - how could I renounce my baby? But Falco managed to make me feel guilty: how could I claim to love my son if I preferred to see him grow up like a bastard, with no position at all, while he offered him to be a member of the senatorial class, with all of its privileges? And so...and so I agreed to let him take Publius away as soon as he was weaned, for he also promised me he would allow me to visit him whenever I wished. But it was not to be. As soon as he got him, Falco had Publius transferred out of Rome into the country and I have not seen him again..." Athenais' voice broke, and she began to cry softly.

The sight broke Maximus' heart and this time he did not resist his instinct. He moved closer to her and wrapped her body in his arms, offering his support. She did not resist him and lost to time in accepting his offer. Her arms slipped around his broad back, and pressing her face into his chest, she cried out all the grief, the fear and the loneliness she had had to live with in the past several years. Maximus did not speak, but simply caressed her back in slow, circular motions, hoping to be able to help her in some way as she had done with him till that moment. But as Athenais continued to cry, Maximus also became aware with surprise of how good it felt to have a woman in his arms again. To have someone so trusting so near. To have silky, perfumed hair tickle his nose and soft breasts pressed against his chest. And, as soon as he became conscious of his feelings, Maximus suppressed them, ashamed. Athenais was his friend and she was suffering, how could he have those kinds of thoughts?

But, as much as he tried, Maximus could not forget what he had felt and that night, when he went to bed, Athenais came to visit him in his dreams, making him ache in a way he had thought he would never feel again after he had discovered Selene's broken body.

Rome, 183AD, the Ides of June.

That afternoon Lucilla and Lucius arrived at the villa on the Esquiline accompanied by two of her female slaves and eight Praetorians, who took places outside the house, and near the entrance of the open triclinium. Athenais had decided to receive her guests there for the day was hot, but a light breeze was blowing, carrying with it the perfume of flowers from her garden.

As soon as greetings were exchanged, including a very sloppy kiss from Lucius to Athenais's cheek, the freedwoman invited her patroness to stretch out the plush couch and clapped her hands to command her slaves to serve the drinks and the sweets the cooks had prepared. Lucius was ecstatic when he saw the bowlful of biscuits, and began to eat them almost two at a time.

"Lucius," Lucilla reproached him with a hard glance, causing the boy to put down the sweets with a guilty expression, but Athenais reached out his hand and touched his arm.

"Don't worry, everything is fine. Continue to eat as much as you like. My cook will be very happy to see his work has been appreciated so much." The boy's face brightened and after a quick glance to his mother returned to eat the biscuits, albeit at a much slower pace.

Lucilla and Athenais exchanged a look and the freedwoman shook her shoulders, "Let him behave as a child for a while, my lady. He needs it."

Lucilla nodded in understanding and soon the little group began to talk, alternating mundane topics with discussions about Lucius' studies. Every reference to the political situation and the emperor was avoided, for everyone knew that the Praetorians were not only guarding Lucilla and Lucius, but also controlling them.

After a while Lucilla, who had arrived looking very tense, seemed to relax and her laughs stopped being nervous to become real and heartfelt; she was truly enjoying this brief respite from Palace life. Athenais noticed it and guilt assaulted her at the awareness she should put an end to those carefree moments. But she had no choice: Lucilla could not spend all the afternoon with her and she needed to talk to her in private. Thus she went on with her plan and started to touch her own brow and shift on her seat with increasingly frequency.

Lucius noticed her first and putting down the biscuit he was eating, looked at her with attention and asked, "Are you feeling unwell, Athenais?"

At his question all the heads present in the room, Praetorians included, turned to look at her, and she made the gesture of loosening her dress.

"It's nothing... it's just my head is spinning... the hot climate, I think. Perhaps I should lie down for a while...Could you please help me, Lucilla?"

"Of course, my friend."

"Can I help too?" Lucius asked concerned.

"It is better if you wait here," replied his mother, sliding an arm around Athenais' back and helping her to rise on her feet. 

Moving very slowly, for the freedwoman seemed to stumble a couple of times, Lucilla and her friend made it to the latter's bedroom but, as soon as they were inside, the door closed behind their backs and Athenais seemed to suddenly regain her health. She straightened and said to a surprised

Lucilla, "Quick, drag that chair near the bed and sit down! If the Praetorians come to check from the window they must see you sitting near the bed, tending your very sick friend..."

"Who, however, is not sick at all..." Lucilla commented, but did not lose time to comply with what she had been told to do. She watched as Athenais stretched out on the bed and put a wet rag over her own brow, then asked softly, bending over the other's body, "What's going on, Athenais?"

"I need to talk you in private, away from all those prying ears."

"All right."

"First of all, how are you? For real?"

Lucilla lowered her head, as is all entire strength had just left her, "I am tired, my friend, so very tired. Tired of fighting and resisting my brother, tired of being strong for my son... and with no one to help me. I am alone in this, Athenais."

"That is not true, Lucilla - not anymore. You have two allies now, two powerful allies."

Lucilla looked at her, very sceptic. "Who?"

"Your father, for one. He was a very prudent man and three years ago, before he left for Germania, he left something to my care - an official act stating his will regarding his successor, which I should have taken to the Senate in case of his sudden death."

"I see." Lucilla's brow frowned in thought as she pondered what had just heard. "Why did you not talk about this before? Why are you doing it now?"

"I did not talk sooner for I believed that the man your father designated as his successor was dead, the first of your brother's victims as Caesar."

"But-?" Lucilla's eyes were now bright and she seemed to hold her breath as she waited for her answer.

"Be he did not die, after all." 

Lucilla's head whipped around at the sound of that low, rumbling male voice. A voice that could belong to only one man. "Maximus?" she asked tentatively. 

Maximus had remained all the afternoon closed in Athenais' bedchamber, hidden behind the thick drape that separated her private bathroom from the rest on the sleeping quarters, waiting for her to put their plan in motion. It had worked and now Marcus Aurelius' daughter was near him, making his heart beat faster: the moment of truth had come, soon he would know if she would agree to help him.

"It is me, Lucilla," he replied, not leaving his hiding place, but pushing the drape a bit on the side to look at her.

"Where..? How?"

"Shh...! Face  Athenais. Good. I am in the bathroom. Now stand up and take that bowl on the bedside table...yes, that one. Now come here to fill it with fresh water."

Maximus watched Lucilla do as he had commanded, and moved away from the drape, so that she could push it aside and enter the bathroom.

The former lovers stared at each other for a long while, both of them taking note of the small changes the time caused since their last meeting. Lucilla reached out a hand, seemingly wanting to touch his cheek, but stopped in midair, unsure about how he would react.

Conscious they had no time to lose, Maximus silently handed her the letter and the act her father had written to him, when watched as she read them. A look of understanding appeared on her face as she proceeded and when she finished, Lucilla raised her eyes on him. "This is what you talked about the day we met in Germania, is not it?" she asked indicating the document, "That's why you were so shocked.... The reason my father summoned senators Gaius and Falco there. He did not want to announce Commodus' ascension-but yours."

Maximus nodded. "That's true. Your father spoke with me the day he died..."

"Killed by my brother before he could make it public. Yes, everything has a meaning now... even too much." Lucilla sighed and handed the papyruses back to Maximus. He looked at her with concerned eyes, "How do you feel?"

"I don't know. I am shocked but in a positive way... I am...elated and- and so very happy you are still alive, even if I cannot understand how it is possible." She lowered her head, suddenly shy, and Maximus quickly told her what had happened to him. Lucilla listened with attention, and by the time he ended his story, she had regained her composure. "What do you plan to do now?"

"I want to obey to your father's last wishes, but I cannot do it alone... Will you help me?"

"Yes."

"Even if it means your brother's death? For I will kill Commodus, for what he did to my family." Maximus made clear at once, his eyes never leaving her face, looking for a hint of hesitation. He saw none.

"My brother, the boy I loved and cared for, died a long time ago. Now there is only a monster bearing his same look and name. He must die- not only for what he did, but for what he could do. My son will never be safe as long as he lives." Lucilla spoke with a sure tone, her eyes betraying a hint of pain- the same pain you feel when you have to put down an animal to spare it further suffering.

Maximus nodded in understanding. "What do you suggest we do?"

"We need to inform the Senate. As you perhaps know, my brother wants to disband it, but till now I have managed to stop him. However I don't know for how much longer I will be able to keep him calm. I will try to arrange a meeting between you and the decanus of the Senate, Gracchus. He had dedicated all his life to Rome, and has opposed Commodus from the beginning. In truth, it is very surprising he is still alive, but that is also a proof of his ability. He will help us, I have no doubt."

"Then this is settled. But there is another problem. How do we deal with the Praetorians? They are the emperor's bodyguards- I doubt they will obey to me or the Senate."

Lucilla nodded, "You are right. However I know there is much malcontent between them- for Commodus has managed to cause resentment even between the people who should protect. But, even more important, I know your army, the Felix Legion, is stationed in Ostia." Lucilla smiled.

"What?" Maximus was stunned.

"They have just returned from a campaign in Thracia. I must tell you, they were beaten there because the general appointed by Commodus is - was - an incompetent. I got word from my informer that the legion is restless and angered with Caesar. They consider him the cause of the loss of their invincibility- I am sure they will more than happy to follow you."

Maximus grimaced, "If they remember me."

Lucilla looked straight at him, "You are not an easy man to forget, Maximus Decimus Meridius, trust me."

"I do." He truly did, the resentment of the past totally forgotten.

Silence fell between them, as they thought about they had said, then Lucilla spoke again, "We must act soon; it very difficult to maintain secrets in Rome. I will try to contact Gracchus tomorrow morning and I will send you word as soon as I get his answer and arranged an encounter."

"All right. Thank you." Maximus murmured.

"There is no need. Now it is better I go, I don't want the Praetorian to become suspicious." And speaking thus, she saluted him with a slight bow of her head, before leaving the bathroom without adding another words. Maximus remained hidden in his place, even after he heard Athenais and Lucilla exit the bedroom. Everything was proceeding as hoped.

Commodus' end had already begun.

Rome, 183AD, fifth day before the Kalends of July.

"Stop!" Athenais' tense command echoed in the air and her litter-bearers came to an abrupt halt at the beginning of the up-hill road that led to the top of the Viminal Hill. "Wait for me there," she added stepping down from the little conveyance, "I will continue on foot."

The four Nubian slaves glanced at each other in surprise, but she did not notice them, so lost was she in her thoughts. She had the sudden need to walk for she needed time to collect her ideas before she faced Falco to tell him she had no intention of complying with his request and it was better he found someone else to spy on Senator Gaius.

Athenais took a deep breath and began her up-hill trek, her steps very slow as her mind wandered once again to what had happened earlier that day. The day when, following her best laid plans, she should have seduced the politician.

The encounter Lucilla had arranged with Senator Gracchus was going to happen on the Kalends of July and time was becoming scarce. Athenais needed to get Publius back - and soon. Thus, for the past week or so she had worked to arrange a meeting with Senator Gaius, finally finding the best occasion when one of her closest friends, Clara Dalmatia, the woman to whom she planned to entrust Publius as soon as she got him, had informed her Gaius would be her guest that very day. Clara was the wife of a rich merchant and loved to spend the money her very generous husband gave her, to sponsor young writers, supporting them and periodically organizing well-attended public readings of their works.

Athenais, who had met Clara while at the baths, had often participated at those gatherings, thus her presence would seem normal, adding to the chance to make her encounter with Gaius look very casual. But of course it had been everything but casual for Athenais and she had gone to the reading determined to succeed in her task. She had dressed with meticulous care; coiled her chestnut hair in the most fashionable way; perfumed her body with her most expensive fragrance and painted her face to exalt her natural beauty. She had left nothing to chance and felt a bout of pride at the way Maximus' eyes had widened in admiration when he had seen her before she left. They had not talked as he had escorted her to the door, but simply nodded to each other as two soldiers before a battle.

Once in arrived at Clara's villa, Athenais had been introduced to Gaius and since the beginning it had been clear that her attire had the right effect on him, for he could not keep his eyes off her. He was a man in his early fifties, soft spoken and polite, and Athenais had found no problem in starting a conversation with him. She had mixed intelligent comments about one of Clara's protégés with seductive remarks and glances and soon she had him eating from the palm of her hand, ready to fall in her net.

But everything had changed at the moment he had wrapped his arm around her waist and asked her to come with him to visit the garden, away from the other guests. At the sensation of his hand kneading her hip and at the knowledge of what the proposed walk really meant, Athenais had suddenly tensed, assaulted by a bout of nausea at the mere idea to have to kiss him, to let him touch her. It was not the man's fault: Gaius was charming and witty, and he was handsome in his own way- but he was not Maximus. In the precise moment she had felt the senator's arm around her and compared it with Maximus', she had become aware that the feelings of esteem, caring and admiration she had always had for the former general had become something much deeper. She was in love with him, and could not betray that feeling, not even for her son.

Thus Athenais had excused herself, claiming to feel unwell - which was not difficult to be believed, considering how pale she was - and practically escaped from Clara's villa. She had sought refuge in her litter, telling her servants to carry her around the city as she thought about what to do. But no matter how she pondered the facts, she could not escape the reality: she had fallen in love with Maximus and she did not know how react to it. She did not know if she had to be happy her heart had healed so much from the wounds inflicted by Falco, or if she had to be worried by being in love with a man who probably did not want to have anything to do with her as a woman.

Maximus had been so gentle with her, so wonderful in consoling and supporting her, but she knew he considered her just his friend and ally. How would he react upon knowing her feelings had changed so much? Would he welcome her? For all she knew, he had been alone since his wife died three years before, so he should desire a woman's touch. But what if he was still emotionally bound to his wife? What if she assumed too much, if she made the wrong move and it caused a strain between them? Given the situation they were in, it was not the time to risk it. So Athenais decided not to act on her newly discovered feelings, and to dedicate herself to a more pressing problem: Falco.

And now she was there, in front of the Senator's house, where her steps had taken her even if she had tried to delay the moment of truth, staring at an unfamiliar litter parked near the door. Someone was visiting Falco. Athenais cursed under her breath, something she rarely did. She did not want to confront Falco while someone else was in the house, but she also did not want to go home without telling him what she had to say. So she decided to circle the villa: if Falco and his guest were in the garden or in the portico, she might overhear them talk and try to guess how long the visit would be. So she walked around the wall that surrounded the garden until she heard two male voices. It took her some minutes to realize Falco's visitor was Commodus himself. Athenais was on the verge of going away, for she knew the Emperor went nowhere without his Praetorians, and she did not want to be caught spying, when a sudden thought crossed her mind. Why was Commodus away from the Palace? Was he plotting something so hideous he could not risk being heard by Lucilla? Was he concerned or suspicious about the visit Lucilla had made to her own home? Thus Athenais decided to take a risk and stay where she was for a while longer, hoping to hear something that might be useful for Maximus.

An old proverb said that he who eavesdrops risks listening to something he or she would prefer not to hear, and that is what happened to Athenais. As she was there, pressing against the wall, she heard Commodus ask, "So, any news about Gaius?"

"Not yet, but I know my little dove as been very busy arranging a way to meet him. I expect to have a report very soon."

"Good. But I am surprised, Falco, to see how Athenais obeys your commands, even the one to play the whore. She had always stuck me as the honourable, unbending type. That's why my father liked her so much." Commodus said with sarcasm.

"Oh, she is honourable all the way. She is so straight it seems she has swallowed a broomstick. But I know how to bend her."

"How?"

"As you do with your sister: I control her through her son."

"She has a son?"

"Yes, we had a bastard together that I took away from her."

"Had?" asked Commodus.

Had? Wondered Athenais and a chilling shiver ran along her spine.

"Yes, he died last year. A fever. But she does not know and believes I will let her have him back after she has done me some favours," Falco said in a cold, unemotional tone. It was impossible to believe he could be so unfeeling about his son's death.

"You are a cunning bastard! She will get quite a surprise, huh?" Commodus exclaimed, before they 

laughed out loud together. But Athenais did not hear them, as her knees crumbled under her. Publius, her little Publius had died. Her baby was dead. A sob rose in her throat and she bit her lower lip to stifle it. She could not be heard crying. Drawing strength from some unknown source, she rose on trembling legs and, her vision blurred by tears, she somehow managed to walk all the way back to her litter, finally collapsing in it, giving free rein to her all-consuming pain.

Maximus was completing a quick bath when he heard the servants greet Athenais and, almost unconsciously, he let out a sigh of relief. He was happy she had returned home so soon, thus stopping his mind from conjuring up images of her in Senator Gaius' arms, the man he had met with Falco back in Germania. He had spent the whole afternoon training with the gladius, pushing himself almost to exhaustion, to avoid thinking about Athenais and what she had had to do. But despite the hard workout, he had not been able to forget how beautiful she had looked when he had seen her earlier that day, and how painful it had been to know she had dressed and made herself up in that way for another man. At the sight, Maximus had been assaulted by a bout of envy and jealousy and, ashamed of himself, had retreated to the garden to vent his negative emotions. He had gone on for hours, stopping only few minutes before, deciding to take a bath and make himself presentable if Athenais, as he hoped, would be back for dinner. The gods had listened to his prayers, thus he rushed to dry and dress thinking that, however it had gone, Athenais would probably need his support.

Maximus left his room and went looking for her, searching first in her favourite places of the house: the garden, the library, the open triclinium. He did not find her in any of those spots, so he walked to her room and knocked softly on the door. "Are you there, Athenais?" He received no answer, but heard a strange, muffled sound coming from behind the closed door. It sounded like... like someone crying. Athenais! Had Gaius hurt her? Full of worry and rage, Maximus opened the door and stepped inside the bedroom. It was dark, for the shutters were closed, and it took him several seconds to understand the weeping sound came from behind a great chest used to store dresses. He crossed the room in two steps and soon was kneeling near a corner where Athenais was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees and hiding her face in her folded arms.

"Athenais!" Maximus called softly, kneeling down in front of her, "What happened?"

She did not reply, but letting go her knees, she moved closer to him, threw her arms around his neck and buried her face against him, as she went on weeping. As on the previous occasion, Maximus did his best to soothe her, but it seemed than neither his whispered words nor his caresses worked. Athenais' hands clenched and unclenched the fabric of his tunic and her crying, far from lessening, seemed to grow in intensity.

Frantic with worry, he sensed something terrible had happened, and needed to know what it was, in order to hopefully help her.

"Athenais, sweetheart, you are killing me," he whispered, cupping her cheek with one hand and trying to raise her face. "Please tell me what happened..." He repeated the words several times and they finally seemed to reach her. She pulled back her head and fixed her reddened eyes on his.

"Publius is dead... my child is dead..."

Maximus became suddenly cold. "How?" he asked, tightening his embrace.

Before replying Athenais buried her nose in his neck again, "A fever... a year ago..."

"Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry," he exclaimed. The words sounded so inadequate, but he hoped she could sense how sincere he was. He knew only too well what she was feeling, and his heart ached for her.

Athenais did not seem to have heard him as she continued to say between tears and sobs, "My baby is gone... I am alone now... there is no one for me..."

"That's not true, Athenais. I am here. I am your friend... I will not leave you alone." Maximus whispered with conviction, hoping she would really listen to him.

"Oh Maximus... he is gone... I am so alone... it hurts so much..." She was now looking at him, shaking her head.

"I know, sweetheart, I know." Maximus said, staring into her eyes, "But you are not alone, I am here."

"Hold me tight Maximus... please."

"Everything you wish..."

"Tighter Maximus, tighter...don't let me go..." Athenais wrapped her own arms around his waist with such unexpected strength it almost made him grunt. "Don't let me go...I am so alone.."

"You are not... I told you. And I won't let you go. I care for you sweetheart, I care very much..."

"Then show me, Maximus... Love me...Love me, please... make me forget..." Athenais was now staring at him with a fevered gaze, her eyes wide and too bright.

"What?" Maximus did not understand what she really meant and was startled when he felt her hand slide beneath his tunic to brush his bare thigh. "Athenais!" he exclaimed, his eyes now wide as hers.

She looked at him pleadingly, as she insisted with her caress, "Love me, Maximus... I need you... I am so alone..."

Maximus did not know what to do. It was wrong. She was distraught and possibly she did not even know what she was saying, what she was asking, what she was doing...but her hand, with her slow, teasing touch up and down his thigh was driving him crazy with desire. He was now hard as a rock and he heard Athenais moan in approval at the feel of him.

"Love me, Maximus, I need you..." she said again with such certainty he could no longer resist her. He too needed her; so much time had passed since he last had a woman, and he had been so utterly and achingly alone...

Maximus cupped Athenais' face with his hands and raised her lips to his. Their kiss began tenderly, but soon need and desperation transformed it in something wildly passionate, for they were too charged up to take it slowly. The emotions were too wild, too close to the surface to allow them something that was not pure, basic lust. Maximus rained her jaw and neck with kisses as he tried to loosen her elaborate dress, as she clawed at his chest, searching for his bare skin. She was rubbing against him and Maximus thought he would go mad if he was not able to have her soon. In a quick move, he rose to his feet, helped her do the same, then began to pull at her dress insistently.

Athenais did not care about his less than delicate touch for she was as frantic as he to feel their bare skins come in contact, and she helped him. Together they tore and ripped at the fabric, until she stood naked in front of him. Sanity returned for a while and Maximus sucked in his breath at the sight of her. She was beautiful: proud, firm breasts; large, tapered hips, graceful, long legs and a nest of chestnut curls that begged to be petted and caressed. But the examination ended quickly, for she reached out for his tunic and with unexpected strength tore at its neck. Athenais was not in the mood for waiting, and soon Maximus' clothes and undergarments joined hers on the floor. When he was as naked as she, there was a moment of hesitation, as they stared panting at each other, then, they moved in unison and embraced, kissing hungrily and almost violently. They cried aloud at the feel of their skin touching, and their hands skimmed over valleys and peaks, caressing soft female curves and stroking hard, male muscles.

Then Athenais pulled back and murmured again, "I need you..." before she stretched down on her bed, her legs spread wide in the age old invitation from a woman to a man. At the sight of her, open and willing, Maximus groaned aloud and in the blink of an eye was on her, inside her. Athenais cried out and tensed at his sudden invasion and he bit his lower lip till it bled to restrain himself from moving until she was ready. Sweat bathed his powerful body and he moaned in relief as he felt her relax and the hands that had grabbed his upper arms in a death grip, loosened and moved down his back, cupping his backside, caressing it and spurring him to move.

"Love me, Maximus," she repeated again, her face a mask of passion, and he began to do just that. 

He thrust hard and deep, raising and falling over her as she arched her back and pressed more against him with each stroke, their moves perfectly attuned by need and lust and hunger. Together they climbed higher and higher, forgetting their pain, their grief, their loneliness in the pleasure their bodies shared and when the end came, it was achingly beautiful, sweet and strong.

Maximus collapsed over Athenais and tried to roll away so as not to crush her, but she locked her legs around his waist, forbidding him to go. He was too tired to protest, and relaxed against her, as her hands caressed his back with the same, soothing strokes he had used earlier with her. Maximus remained on top of her until his member softened and slipped out of her, and Athenais' grip loosened as her eyes closed in slumber. He rolled on his side, pulled her unresisting body closer to his own, then joined her in sleep.