Emerita Augusta, May 183AD

From his table in the corner of the large hall, the hooded man watched with interest as a woman crossed the room from the counter, where she had been pouring wine into cups and pitchers, to the kitchen. There was something in how she walked and moved her tanned arms, in a way that was neither tantalizing or seductive, unlike those of the young lupae that moved between the tables and offered their company and services to the men sitting there, that he found strangely attractive in all of its simplicity and naturalness.

Her clothes too were not made to arouse male attention, because they were just a white tunic and a brown apron, but they evidenced her slender waist and wide, womanly hips all the same, and he felt a sparkle of desire in his flesh. His eyes remained on the woman, wishing to see her face, but when she finally turned in his direction, as she spoke with the tavern owner on the kitchen threshold, he was surprised to see that not only did she wear a palla over her head -- uncommon and strange for a woman working in a kitchen -- but that the lower part of her face was covered by a hem of the same fabric, leaving only her eyes and brows free to be seen. Once again it was not done to tease or arouse, but more probably to hide scarred or somehow ruined features. Perhaps she was ashamed to show her face as he was, he thought, pulling at the hem of his hood to cover his head better. He was wearing that cape not to show how ill at ease he was in that place, and because he did not want to be recognized by the other customers. He would show his lineaments only to the girl he would spend his night with, if he actually decided to go on with his plan and bed a prostitute.

His keen blue-green eyes returned to look in the kitchen's direction, catching glimpses of the white dressed woman as she moved with confidence between ovens and various fires. Once again he found her moves strangely arousing and almost familiar, and making up his mind, he raised his hand, motioning the tavern's owner to come near him.

"How may I help you sir?" asked the man when he was at his side.

"I was looking at your cook. I find her very intriguing. Do you know if she might be interested in spending some time with me?"

The innkeeper's eyes widened. "Do you mean in bed?"

"Well- yes."

The white haired man turned to look at the kitchen, then back to his hooded client. "Sir, are you aware she wears that veil because she is badly scarred?"

"I surmised it, but it does not matter to me." He was sincere: the sensation that attracted him to her seemed to be deeper and, in a certain sense, more mysterious than her physical attractiveness.

The tavern owner gave him a strange look, trying to peer under his hood to see his face, perhaps wondering if he was scarred too. Then the man nodded, "I will ask her, but I don't think she will accept. I've known her for more than two years and she never showed interest for any man."

"But perhaps nobody asked for her."

"That's also true." The innkeeper smiled, "I will go to talk to her."

"Thank you."

The white haired man walked away, while Maximus Decimus Meridius watched him go, sipping more of his wine to strengthen his resolution, in case the woman said 'yes' to his offer.

"Two more plates of roasted pork!" a voice called from the hall and inside the kitchen Gaia replied with a smile.

"They are arriving!"

She briefly dried the sweat that ran down from her brow over her cheek to disappear beneath her veil, then put two more pieces of meat on the grill. She loved when the tavern was full, because the frantic work was welcome: not only was she happy for her friend Numerius, the tavern owner, who took a special pride in his place and its reputation as one of the best inns of Emerita Augusta, but also because the hurried activity kept her mind from wandering and remembering, and helped her to have long nights of restful, dreamless sleep. Some minutes later, she took the meat from the grill with the help of a wooden spatula, then put it on two plates, adding some lentils as serving, before passing them to the waiting maid.

"Here you go!" she said, her raspy voice betraying just a hint of her tiredness.

The girl scurried away and her place was taken by Numerius, who made an exaggerated move to sniff the plates and commented, "What a delicious smell! Can I have some?"

"Only if you cook it by yourself!" Gaia remarked, pointing at him with a spoon.

They shared a brief laugh, then he returned serious and asked, "Do you have some time for me?"

"Sure," she nodded, her brown eyes, the only visible part of her face, looking curiously at him.

The man smiled gently at her and said, "How are you going?"

"Well! There is a lot to run, but you know I like to be busy!"

"I know, I know. As you are aware I often think you work too much."

Gaia turned her head away and Numerius understood it was better to drop the matter. Someone might have found it funny, an employer being worried because one of his paid hands worked too much, but he had been a slave in his youth and he had promised himself to never treat the others as he had been treated. That was why he did not own slaves and all of his workers were free men and women. But in Gaia's case there were other reasons for him to worry: he considered her a friend -- no, more than a friend -- and would have given much of his fortune to see her return to really smile, her brown eyes lightened by happiness. Numerius knew very little about her, aside her name, which he suspected might not have been her true one. He had found her more than two years before, sitting under one tree along the road that lead to Emerita Augusta, her face wounded, her dress ruined, half unconscious and hugging her knees. At that sight, he had stopped his wagon and called to her and not receiving an answer, he had stepped down and approached her, taking her in his arms and leading her to his home.

She had been feverish for days, because of the wounds on her face and a very bad inflammation to her trachea, caused by the same hands that had tried to strangle her, as the bruises on her neck attested. After she had healed, she had spent days in silence, staring in front of her and weeping. Then, one morning, she had appeared in the kitchen, a veil covering her scarred face, asking him if she could help in some way. Numerius had been surprised but pleased and from that moment his affection for her had begun to grow. Through a lot of coaxing he had come to know some details of her ordeal, discovering she had lost her husband and son in a fire, just like he had lost his wife and daughter to the plague.

Their tragedies, so similar in the abruptness in which they had destroyed their lives, had contributed to bind them very strongly. She considered him a friend, but he thought about her like the daughter he had lost. And just like a father, he was concerned about Gaia's well-being, because he hoped that one day she would understand that life goes on even after a tragedy and that it would be a waste for such a loving and still beautiful woman to spend the rest of her life alone. He had once again found happiness with a new companion, and he hoped she too would soon find someone who would love her. That was the reason that had spurred Numerius to go to her with the stranger's proposition: it was so shocking he hoped it would cause some reaction in Gaia and push her to have some contact with other people apart from the taverns' workers. He looked at her, trying to decide how to best approach the topic, and he was once again captured by the beauty of her eyes: they were powerfully attractive, even despite the sadness that always lingered in their depth. Finally Numerius cleared his throat and plunged on.

"Gaia, one of the customers noticed you at the beginning of the evening and he would be interested in spending some time with you." Gaia's eyes widened in fear and he hasted to add, "Of course I told him I would ask you and that you would probably say 'no'."

"Thank you," she whispered, relief clear in her voice.

"So you have no intention to accept?"

"Of course! Did you really think I might have accepted such a proposition?" She asked, almost shocked.

"No... Yes... Well, Gaia, yes, I hoped you might say 'yes'."

Had he been a different kind of man, she might have asked him how much money the stranger offered for her, but she knew and respected Numerius too much to even think about such a thing. So she asked, "Why?"

"Because he sounded gentle and you know how I feel about it- I believe you might have benefits by spending time with men. Despite of what you think, you are still beautiful, Gaia, and you are also gentle and kind. You could still find someone who might give you the love you deserve."

She lowered her head to look at her left hand, at the golden ring on her third finger. "I appreciate your concern, Numerius, but you know my thoughts. I already had all the love a woman might wish for in her life and I lost it. I will never find it again and I won't settle for anything less." She raised her hand to caress his cheeks and stared directly into his eyes, speaking clearly and without harshness. "Leave it alone, my friend. I appreciate your concern, and it feels good to have someone caring for me, but please, let's leave the things as they are, all right?"

"All right." He sighed deeply, then smiled. "I leave you to your job now. I must return to the other room and I must give your answer to that man." He waved his hand and walked away, as Gaia looked at him, curious in spite of herself about the hooded man Numerius was heading for. Why had he asked for her? And why, more important and unsettling, had she felt the desire to say 'yes' to his proposition, if only for a little while?

Gaia was already in bed but not yet asleep when Claudia, the girl she shared her sleeping accommodations with, entered their room. The woman watched as her companion crossed the pavement on her way to her cot and noticed her satisfied grin.

"I guess it was a good evening," she commented.

"It was. I received the visit of some of my regular and much liked clients, even if the highlight of tonight was a new face." Claudia walked to the corner of the room where, behind a curtain fixed to the ceiling, was a tub and a basin full of still warm water. The girl shed her clothes and began to wash, as she hummed under her breath.

"I am glad you had a good evening, you always work so much." Gaia smiled as she mused about how strange it was to call 'work' what Claudia did for a living, but her opinion did not come from a moral prejudice. It was because of its implications: for a woman like her, who had shared her body with only one man and believed their couplings had been something more than an act of sex, it was difficult to understand how it could be only a mere physical thing that didn't touch you in the deepest recess of your heart. But Claudia, evidently, had no problem in accepting the situation. She liked her job and was lucky enough to work for Numerius, the kindest, most honest and gentlest being she had ever met- with the only exception of her late husband. Gaia blocked that line of thought: she was tired and needed a good night of sleep, but that would never happen if she let her mind wander back to her past.

"Did you hear me? Gaia?" Claudia's voice called from the other corner of the room, her head peering from behind the curtain.

"Forgive me, I was lost in thought. What did you say?"

"I said you too work very much and that you should also enjoy some male company every now and then."

Gaia stiffened. Please, not again! She wanted to shout, but she didn't and the girl went on, as she donned a white nightgown, returned to her bed and sat on it. "Numerius told me you received an offer tonight. You should have accepted it." She concluded, her clever brown eyes locked with the older woman's equally brown and smart irises.

"And see that man stare at my face with a horrified gaze?"

The young lupa looked at her friend's neck and cheek, for once freed from any covering, and whispered, "I doubt that man would have regarded you with dislike; he was really interested in you. And, as I've told you many times, your scars are not as bad as you believe."

"Or maybe that man was just scarred too and hides his disfigurement under his hood," Gaia replied sarcastically, not believing -- or not wanting to -- to the girl's words. "Perhaps he is so ugly no woman can stand his sight and he hoped I would have done it, since I am no beauty myself." 

Claudia laughed softly and the sound echoed in the small room, "You are wrong here. I went with that man after you turned him down, and I can assure you he is perfectly healthy under that cape. He just has some scars on his body, like many men have, and he is handsome, very handsome indeed: dark haired and with the most amazing blue-green eyes I have ever seen." The girl stopped, giggled a little and then added in a conspiratorial hush, "He was also very well endowed and a gentle and caring lover."

"Then what did he want from me?"

"I don't know. Perhaps he finds your body attractive..." Gaia threw her a sceptical look and Claudia rolled her eyes, "Oh well, I don't know why he wanted you, I only know it's a pity you did not accept his offer, even if it turned out to be at my advantage. And now, if you excuse me, it is time to sleep: if I am lucky, my blue-eyed client will return to visit me in my dreams." And without losing time, Claudia slipped beneath the sheet, blew out her candle and went to sleep. 

Gaia too settled on her cot, but unlike her roommate slumber did not come to embrace her. Instead her mind returned to her past, to her previous life, remembering the times she had fallen asleep in the arms of her blue-eyed, dark-haired husband, safe and sated against his powerful chest. Her memory recalled how it felt to lie beneath his strong body, feeling him move inside her, giving her pleasure and the seed that had created their son- their little Gaius.

The memories changed and once more she re-lived that terrible day of two years before, when she had lost her husband and son, and the life she had always know had ended, leaving her terribly scarred, much more in her spirit than on her face. A sob escaped her lips and she buried her head in the pillow, not wanting to disturb Claudia, and cried herself to sleep another time.

Maximus' eyes scanned the hall of Numerius' tavern, hoping to catch a glimpse of the veiled cook. The last evening he had been there, ten days after the first time, he had not seen her and the disappointment had been so great he had lost all of his desire for female company. He still felt somehow ashamed of his behaviour, even if he knew it was perfectly normal and natural for a man of his age, and he was easily put off. Before he married, Maximus had no problem in attending brothels, even if not as frequently as some of his friends did, but his wedding with Selene had changed his perspective. He had never visited a lupanare -- nor betrayed his vows in any way -- during his marriage, even when he was forced to stay away from his wife for years, and he had never found it too great a sacrifice. He knew she was waiting for him at home and, the memory of her body and their past couplings, was more than enough to ensure he would be satisfied with the work of his hand and with the promise of what would happen once he was back in her arms.

The long waits had made their lovemaking more beautiful, sweeter and precious... but now there was no one waiting for him in the rebuilt pink-stoned villa, only empty rooms, some faithful workers and two silent, sometimes accusing, graves. It didn't make sense any longer to save himself and, after a long pause caused by his ordeal and his wounds, his body had returned to having needs, which he was no longer able to satisfy by himself: his mind still tried to conjure up images of Selene, but it felt so wrong and obscene that it made him nauseous. Instead, he had discovered that concentrating on pleasing a woman -- along with himself -- kept his memories away and that was the reason he was once again at Numerius' inn at Emerita Augusta. He had chosen that place, in spite of the distance between the town and his farm because it was the only brothel he knew whose girls were free and not slaves, as was more common. After his experience as a gladiator, he could no longer tolerate the idea of slavery and that was the reason that had pushed him to travel all the way from Trujillo to the capital of the province of Lusitania.

A flash of pink attracted Maximus' attention and he saw the veiled woman walk near the other side of the room. His eyes lightened up as he observed her. The dress she was wearing that afternoon was shorter and more revealing than her previous one, and he admired her well-shaped ankles and the skin of her upper arms. His nostrils flared, imagining the smell of her scent, as he realized she was a woman, not a girl like the one he had enjoyed the last time: that's why he found her so arousing. Once again he watched her enter the kitchen and once again he called for the innkeeper with his proposition for her.

But when the white haired returned with another negative answer, Maximus did not slake his lust on one of the lupae, but simply stood up, paid his bill and walked away, deciding to take care of himself at the inn where he was lodged for the night: perhaps it would not be so difficult if he fantasized about the intriguing woman he had just left behind.

"He is here again." Numerius said, and he did not need to add anything else for Gaia knew who was the 'he' in question and what he wanted. She turned to face her friend and employer and was surprised to find this usually calm man staring at her with decisive eyes, his arms crossed over his chest.

"What?" she asked, curious.

"This time you are going to tell 'no' to him by yourself." He remarked matter-of-factly.

"Why?" she whispered not understanding his attitude. 

"Because I am tired of disappointing him. He seems to be a decent man and he must be quite smitten by you if he continues to return and ask for you even if you refused him at least seven times. I have talked to him and I know he is not a depraved man, as Claudia can confirm you. And besides, I firmly believe you should give him -- and yourself -- a chance." Numerius took a deep breath and, ignoring her pleading glance, plunged ahead, "I know that you suffered greatly and that you are punishing yourself for something you did or failed to do regarding your dead family, but I am sure that your husband and son, if they really loved you as much as you obviously loved them, would never want to see you spend the rest of your life alone." Gaia tried to speak but he stopped her with a raised hand, "Go and talk with this man. I don't want to push you into his arms but at least do this for me: forget about work for a little while and listen to him, 'sense' how it feels to be near him. Please."

Gaia felt tears moisten her eyes upon hearing his heartfelt speech. Numerius had never spoken to her in such a way, and this time he had been able to reach a corner in her heart she thought had been closed forever. She was lonely. She missed a man in her life and she could no longer deny it. But was she ready for this mysterious stranger?

I will never know if I don't try. She said to herself. I will go to talk to him and see what happens. Perhaps he will do or say something that will convince me...

Her decision taken, she nodded at her friend and announced, "I will go."

"Good," Numerius smiled, "I will stay behind the counter, always near in case you should need me, all right?"

"All right."

The innkeeper returned to the main hall and, after a deep, calming breath and a smoothing of her clothes and veil, Gaia followed him, her heart hammering in her chest.

Gaia crossed the entire hall to the hooded man's table. He was drinking from a cup of wine, but he put it down at once as he realized she was going to him and rose to his feet. He pulled out a stool for her and bowed his head in salute. She was impressed by his gesture and sat down gracefully in front of him.

Silence reigned on the table for several moments as they studied what they could see of each other, which was not very much, she thought with a bit of regret, since his cape covered him from head to toe. She wondered briefly why he did so, but then her gaze was attracted by his muscled forearms, the only portion of his skin visible to her. They were tanned and strong, covered by fine golden hair. His hands were big and square and she felt a pang in her heart: how much alike her husband's they were!

The stranger seemed to feel her gaze and moved his arms, making her realize she had probably been staring.

"May I offer you something lady?" he asked in a low, deep and pleasant voice, and Gaia was almost startled. It sounded so much like her husband's! But it cannot be, a voice said inside her. You are only imagining things - you know the throat inflammation spread to you ears and damaged your hearing. He is dead. Numerius is right. I've been too long without a man. She concluded, before forcing her constricted throat to answer to his query. "No thank you, I've just eaten." She took a deep breath, "I've been told you would like to spend some time with me, in private."

The woman saw his head nod, "Yes, I would like it very much."

"Why?"

"Because I feel attracted by you -- by how you move, walk -- and now by your voice." He replied without hesitation.

"My voice is raspy and hoarse," she remarked flatly. "My windpipe was damaged a couple of years ago."

"To me it sounds very sensual and beautiful: a dangerous whisper, like silk sliding on the blade of a sword," he commented and his hand moved to pose over hers where it was resting on the table. "Please, let me make love to you. I will be gentle and caring- I promise you will never regret it." His tone was passionate and it made her shiver. Shiver with desire. Gaia fought against it, she could not be lulled to consent.

"I have scars on my face."

"I know, but it does not matter to me."

"But it matters to me. I don't want you to see me."

"Then tell me what I have to do. I will do everything you wish."

Gaia could hear the sincerity in his voice and realized he was really ready to do everything she wanted. But she could not let herself do it, even if she was rapidly losing control over her body.

She made a desperate attempt, hoping for a positive answer that would surely cool her ardour, "Are you married? Is that why you wear that hood, because you don't want someone to report your presence in a brothel?"

The man shook his head, the fabric of his covering dancing in the air, "I am not married, not any more." He replied with a strong hint of sadness, "But you are right, I don't want to be recognized, even if I will willingly lower my hood if you wish to see me before answering to my proposition."

"No, that won't be necessary." Gaia said with decision, before she took a deep breath and added, "We will meet in an absolutely darkened room, so that you won't be able to see me. Is it agreeable for you?"

He nodded eagerly.

"Then we will do it in a hour. I need to prepare." 

He nodded again and Gaia stood up, her heart hammering in her chest. She was ready to rush away from him and from the implications of what she had just said, when she felt his warm, calloused hand take her wrist in a grip so strong that it could have easily broken the bones, but at the same time so gentle and tender.

"Wait!" he murmured softly, rising to his feet to face her again, "I don't know your name."

"You can call me Gaia, as the others do."

"I will call you so- but it is not your real name, is it?"

"It is the name I go by. And now, please, let me go, I need to get ready." She replied seriously.

"Of course." He let go of her arm and bowed to her and said, "Till later lady Gaia."

She quickly turned on her heels and almost ran away from him and from the turmoil in her heart, even if she was not able to leave them behind.

Maximus exhaled slowly and almost fell back down on the bench, shocked by their meeting. He had never imagined she would have such an effect on his senses. But her brown eyes, so much alike Selene's had held him captive from the first moment she had sat in front of him. And then she had spoken with that incredible voice of hers and he had been lost. His desire had really taken over control of his body, even if he had tried not to let it show too much, for fear he might scare her away. He had lost count of the number of times he had asked for her and she had always refused him. She was not a lupa and he had to move slowly and carefully with her. That was why he had accepted to meet her in the dark: he wanted to put her at ease, to gain her trust and perhaps, at a later time, she would let him see her- Maximus stopped his musing, not liking how he was planning so much ahead, not liking his sudden desire to plan a future that involved a woman who was not his Selene... He had to concentrate only on the present, and to what would soon happen. He felt himself harden at the mere thought, and he shifted on the bench, willing his body to be patient. But it was almost impossible and he was almost mindless with desire by the time Numerius came to call him.

"Gaia told me to escort you to her room."

Maximus stood up at once, happy his cape was hiding his condition, but the innkeeper did not move to lead him away.

"Treat her as the lady she is, or I will make you regret it." He almost growled.

Someone would have found the threat ridiculous, since Numerius was four good inches shorter than Maximus and much thinner and older, but the former general did not laugh, because the man was deadly serious.

"Is she your woman?" he enquired, his voice betraying a hint of disgust at the possibility the innkeeper might share her with a stranger.

"No, she is something more: she is my friend. A friend who had been wounded enough, who had lost her husband to a violent death and who deserves to be happy."

Maximus nodded, "I will treat her well, I promise you. I will do -- or won't do --everything she wishes."

The tavern owner stared hard at him for a while and then nodded. "Follow me," he said, motioning with his head to the end of the hall and started to turn around.

"Wait! Perhaps it will be better if I settle my bills now-"

"There are no bills and no money to be paid. What is going to happen between you and Gaia has nothing to do with business. She is not a whore and she will never be."

"I know," Maximus agreed softly, "she is a lady."

"Exactly. Now follow me, she is waiting for you."

Gaia was sitting in front of a mirror of polished metal, methodically brushing her long, thick mane of brown curls. The action helped her to relax and kept her agitation under control. She knew she had still time to back away, but she also knew she would not do it. The stranger had awoken her previously sleeping body and she could no longer stop the rush of her emotions.

A glint of metal attracted her gaze and she lowered her eyes to look at her left hand, at her husband's ring. It seemed a lifetime ago since he had put it onto her hand the day they had been engaged, promising her they would be together for the rest of their lives. But it had not been so: he had left her much sooner than his time, leaving her alone with memories and regrets. She had always believed she would have died univira -- a woman who had only one man in all her life -- but now that was going to change. She was going to give her body to a man who was not her husband, to a total stranger, even if she had found echoes of a long dead familiarity in him. But she could not go to him with her husband's ring on her finger, her only tie to her past life. Thus Gaia stood up, and walked to the chest near her bed, removing the gold band, kissing it with love, and carefully hiding it under one of her dresses. Then she took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and left her room for a nearby, darkened chamber, where a double bed was waiting for her, and where soon she would be joined by the hooded stranger.

Numerius stopped in front of a closed door at the first floor of his tavern and knocked, while Maximus shifted his weight from one foot to the other, unconsciously clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Are you ready, Gaia?" the white haired man called.

"Yes," came the muffled reply, and the innkeeper pushed the door slightly open, stepping aside.

"Remember your promise," Numerius repeated once again, before letting the other man pass, and the former general nodded.

"I will." Then the tavern owner moved away and let him enter the room, closing the door softly behind his back.

The bedchamber was almost pitch black, the only audible sound being his and the woman's combined breath. After few seconds his sight adjusted and, thanks to a little shaft of light coming from a crack in the wooden window shutters, he was able to catch the merest glimpse of Gaia waiting for him on the bed.

Maximus swallowed hard, then called in a whisper, not wanting to scare her, "Gaia?"

"Yes?"

"May I come nearer?"

"Yes."

He walked to the centre of the chamber till his legs touched the edge of the bed. Once there he sat down as she moved to make room for him, and he became conscious of her eyes fixed on him despite the darkness.

He stood up and slowly removed his clothes, taking his time to fold them and put them at the foot of the bed, least his rushing and fumbling might alarm her, and then sat down on the mattress, with only his loincloth still in place.

He slid up the bed until he thought he was lined with her and raised a hand to caress her neck, feeling her startle as his skin brushed hers.

"Shhh," Maximus murmured, "Don't be so nervous." But he felt like a liar, because his hands were shaking too. He was as agitated as he had been only once before- during his wedding night, when the desire for his wife and the fear he might hurt her had almost paralysed him.

Maximus shook his head, pushing the memories of his beloved Selene away from his mind, from that bed, from that room. Now it was only he and Gaia, and he was determined to make it good for both of them.

He raised his hand to touch the bare skin of her arm and this time he was more welcome, since she did not try to back away, even if she was still very tense, as if she was afraid of him.

"You must relax," he gently coaxed her, "I won't do anything you don't wish. You don't need to fear me."

"I know," she murmured back, "but I cannot help it. A lot of time has passed since I last had a man, and he was my husband..."

"Then why don't you pretend I am him? We are in the dark and perhaps it will help you to relax." Maximus stopped, suddenly aware he might have just uttered the biggest idiocy in his life. Perhaps he had offended her proposing her to pretend he was her late husband, even if he had said it to put her at ease. But all of his doubts were erased when he felt her tentative touch on his back: Gaia was trying to embrace him. 

Maximus was pleasantly surprised by her gesture and responded to it by taking her in his arms, sensing his blood heating up when her womanly softness pressed against his chest. Gaia was wearing a nightgown, but the warmth of her skin, along with her light scent of cinnamon, reached him from beneath her dress, exciting him even more. He bent his head and found her mouth in the dark, brushing her lips with his own, until she relaxed and opened them, allowing him to press his tongue inside to taste her sweetness, utterly pleased when she began to reciprocate his moves, tentatively but eagerly. She liked his advances. After a while, Maximus left her mouth and slid down the bed, beginning to kiss her neck, the hollow of her throat, brushing away the gown to have more access to her skin but still proceeding slowly, and the hands that roamed his back, shoulders and sides -- first hesitantly, then with more confidence -- showed him she was appreciating what he was doing. He fingered her nipples through the cloth and she moaned aloud, clearly being as sensitive there as his Selene had been. Once again Maximus pushed the thought away, before he whispered, "Is it all right for you if we remove your gown?"

"Yes..." came the breathless reply, and it caused him to smile: Gaia was not starting anything, waiting for his moves, but it was evident she was as excited as he was. And that was good to know, because his manhood was achingly hard, and he was aware he would soon need to bury himself in her hot, slick sheath. The mere thought made him harden even more and he closed his eyes, concentrating on breathing slowly, keeping at bay the waves of lust that threatened to overwhelm him.

His hands groped in the dark for the hem of her nightshirt and met hers as they both worked to eliminate the barrier between their bodies.

When she was naked, he began to roam her flesh with both of his hands, wishing he could see her body and her face, but perhaps it was better this way. Maximus concentrated on the moment, his hands cupping her breasts, weighting them, and trying to imagine their look. Then his caresses moved to her belly. He was surprised by the softness he found there- he was certain she had already born a child and the discovery made him like her even more, even if he wondered about her child's fate. Was it dead like her husband?

Maximus' mind was recalled sharply to the present when he felt Gaia's hand fumbling with his loincloth, in the first really bold move she had done till that moment.

"Remove it, please. I wish to feel you." She murmured.

"Of course." He hasted to get rid of his confining clothes, freeing his throbbing manhood and moaning aloud when he felt her tentative touch.

"Please- stop," he hissed through clenched teeth, "I am going to lose my control."

"Then do it...  Take me, I am ready." Was her sultry, explicit reply, as she spread her legs wider.

Maximus' heart hammered in his chest: his body told him to ram into her at once, but his control held because he had no wish to hurt her in any way. Thus he first checked her readiness with his fingertips, slipping them between her thighs and caressing her intimately, and finding her very slippery and hot, he guided himself to her opening, entering her inch by inch, biting his lower lip till it bled as he waited for her muscles to stretch and get used to his size. She was tight as a virgin, but her next moves were not those of an untried maiden: she wrapped her legs around his waist and, being a tall woman, she also grabbed his bottom, digging her fingers into his muscles and spurring him to move. Maximus did not need further encouragement: he began to thrust slowly, almost lazily, wanting to build up gradually, and when she learned his rhythm -- pretty quickly -- he increased his tempo, savouring the blissful moans she was emitting, happy she was enjoying the act as much as he did. His thrusts became all too soon harder and faster and deeper, groans and moans of pleasure escaping his lips with increasing frequency, and then he felt his body tense, ready to spill its seed, he slipped a hand where their bodies joined to rub her swollen bud, to be sure she came before or with him. The mere brush of his calloused finger pads on her excited flesh was enough to send Gaia over the edge, and she climaxed hard, biting his shoulder to stifle her scream, her gesture and her inner muscles milking him powerfully causing Maximus to lose his control at once. With a low, savage growl he pumped a last time and went rigid, abandoning himself to one of the most intense orgasms he could remember.

When he recovered, he found himself with his head pillowed by her full breasts, her hands lightly caressing his sweaty hair and neck. He raised his head to give her a kiss and his heart skipped a beat when he discovered wetness on her cheeks. Gaia was crying. His stomach twisted as he raised a trembling hand to brush the tears away. "Did I hurt you?" he asked in a whisper.

She shook her head. "No, you did not hurt me. It's- it's just I am overwhelmed by it. I did not remember it could be so beautiful."

"Oh." Maximus let a pleased grin appear on his face. "It was the same for me." He added, caressing her lips with his fingertips, and felt them curl in a smile. He then rolled away from her, not wanting to crush her with his weight, and wrapped her in his arms. Gaia did not try to move away, but pressed more against his chest and soon he heard her breath slow down and deepen: she was asleep.

Maximus remained near her for several moments, his mind lost in thought, basking in the sense of well-being their coupling had brought to him. He would have liked to fall asleep with her, but he knew he often called for his wife in his sleep, and did not want to shame Gaia, waking her by uttering another woman's name, not after she had entrusted her body to him in such a way.

Thus he gently disentangled from her embrace and sat up on the bed, fumbling in the dark until he found all of his garments. He dressed with calm, then bent again to give the sleeping woman a kiss on her scarred cheek. After that he stood up and walked to the door, opening it without any noise. The light coming from the corridor reached the bed, but Maximus refused to turn and look at Gaia's face. She had trusted him, and he was determined to never break her trust, even if she was asleep and unaware of his actions. Thus he resolutely stepped out of the room, closing the door behind his back.

Gaia awoke slowly, feeling disoriented. Where was she? Why was it so dark? She rolled on her back and felt a slight soreness between her legs, as her buttocks came in contact with a small puddle of sticky fluid. A man's seed. She flushed scarlet and felt a bout of heat as her memory returned. She had just given herself to a man who was not her husband, to a total stranger. But even if she felt embarrassed by the thought, because the notion of what she had done was completely foreign to her, she felt no shame. What had transpired in that room had been tender and beautiful, not at all the sordid thing she had feared. Her only guilt came from the fact she had thought about her late husband while the stranger had loved her. Even if he had told her to do so, Gaia had tried to keep her mind focused on reality, because she believed it would not have been right for both the men involved, but in the darkness, his low voice speaking to her, his bearded face brushing her skin and his calloused hands caressing her body, it had been impossible not to put her husband's face on him, especially because she had never seen him without his hood. And then he had been so gentle and considerate, raising her passion gradually and bringing her to such a beautiful release she had to bite his arm to avoid screaming her husband's name aloud. Whoever the stranger was, his kindness to her deserved more than being called by a dead man's name and she made the mental note to ask for his name the next time she saw him.

The next time? Gaia's eyes widened in the dark, surprised by her thought. There was really going to be a next time? Yes, her heart replied to her, as she finally came to a decision. What Numerius and Claudia had been telling her was true. Her husband and their little son had loved her. They had been a very close family, despite the time they spent apart because of her husband's duty, and she knew they would not condemn her if she found a bit of serenity in this life. She would never forget them, and prayed every day she would soon join them in Elysium, but till that moment- there was nothing wrong to grab some happiness. After all she was only human, for the best and the worst.

Gaia sighed, feeling a sense of relief settle over her, now that she had finally made up her mind.

A sudden, light knock on the door made her jump.

"Yes?" she called.

"Gaia?" came Numerius' voice. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, I am, don't worry. I will soon be in the kitchen."

"There is no need to rush, take all the time you need. I just wanted to be sure you were fine."

"I appreciate your concern." The woman left the bed and began to search for her disgarded nightgown.

"You're welcome, that's what friends are for."

"Indeed." Gaia replied, finally finding her garment and putting it on. She then quickly walked to the door, startling Numerius with the suddenness she opened it, and with the warm embrace she bestowed upon him. "Thank you," she whispered, making him understand how right he had been to insist she gave a chance to the hooded stranger.

The man replied with a smile, a murmured, "You are welcome," and a warm, heartfelt embrace that lasted for several minutes.

"He is here and asked if you might wish to spend some time with him." Numerius said without foreplay, leaning against the doorpost of the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest and a pleased smile on his lips.

He watched as Gaia almost dropped the bowl she had in her hand to the ground and his grin widened, for he knew her reaction was not due to shock or fear, but to excitement. More than once, in the past five days, the days that had followed her first encounter with the hooded man, Numerius had caught his friend turn her face to the main hall every time the door of the tavern opened and he had noticed her disappointed look as she watched the new arrivals' faces.

Gaia put down the pot, cleaned her hands on her apron and peered into the other room, a whisper of jasmine perfume assaulting the innkeeper's nose and causing him to smile once more: his friend was really on the road of recovery, beginning to behave again as a woman, and he bet against himself how much time it would take before she realized she was still beautiful and that her scars were not as bad as she believed. But that, he thought, depended on how quickly the scars in her soul and heart would heal. And he silently prayed the man with the hood kept on behaving like he did till her healing process was complete- it would be a terrible blow for Gaia if he should stop visiting the tavern.

Numerius put his arm around her back, patted her shoulder with his hand and exclaimed, tilting his head to the hooded guest, "Go to him, I will take care of the kitchen!"

"Are you sure?" she replied, hope evident in her gaze.

"Of course! I am not so bad a cook, you know?"

"I know!"

He saw her shining brown eyes smile, before she freed herself from the apron, smoothed her clothes, and went to meet her date without any hesitation.

"Do you like it, my lady?" he whispered and Gaia's pleasure-dazed mind was barely able to compose a coherent answer.

"Yes... very much."

"Good; you must tell me if you don't like something."

She nodded with her head, not really caring if in the darkness of the bedchamber he could not see her gesture. She only wished he went back to his previous actions...

Gaia moaned aloud when his mouth returned to tend to the lips of her sex, his soft tongue lapping at her juices and caressing her sensitive flesh. She had been surprised and then delighted when he had slid down her body to nestle between her thighs and began to love her in that most wonderful way. He sucked at her swollen bud again and she arched her back in sheer ecstasy, her hands buried in his short-cropped hair. Then, after a last kiss on her belly, he moved up to cover her body and soon he was inside her, his turgid, male flesh loving her in a steady rhythm, as he whispered sweet nonsense into her ear.

Gaia was too excited to last long and she did not, quickly reaching her peak under his expert ministrations, soon followed by him, his warm seed bathing her welcoming channel. Then he collapsed over her as during their past encounters, and she idly caressed his sweaty back, as she regained her breath and strength. She felt a sense of loss when his member softened and left her, but the sensation was somehow reduced by the curiosity caused in her by his sudden, loud moan. Gaia had just brushed her hand over his left upper arm, touching one of the two scars standing there. It was not the first time she had touched it, but he had never reacted to her fingers in that way.

"Did I hurt you?" she enquired.

"No; quite the contrary." Came the muffled reply, since he was still lying with his face buried between her breasts. "The nerves become more sensitive after love and the sensation of your hand was very pleasurable."

"Oh," she uttered surprised, before brushing the scars again and enjoying his answering moan. "This one is very deep," she commented, fingering the upper portion of ridged tissue. "May I know how it happened?"

"I was wounded during...a battl..." came the slightly hesitant reply.

"Are you a soldier?" She asked, her hand sweeping over his back in a large caress that brushed another, little scar in the region of his kidneys.

"I was. Now I am just a farmer."

"My husband too was a soldier, but he wanted to be a farmer." Gaia murmured, surprised by her willingness to share a part of her past with an almost total stranger, but there was something in him that inspired her confidence, that had gained her trust, just as it had convinced her to let him into her bed.

"Did he die in battle?" he asked gently, rolling away from her, but pulling her against him, making her rest on his chest.

"Yes," she murmured, not yet ready to tell him her husband had been executed for treason.

"I am sorry."

Gaia nodded with her head and silence fell in the room for several moments, as he lightly caressed her back with his fingertips, until a sudden thought crossed her mind. "What's your name?" she asked, feeling a bit guilty for not having enquired about it sooner.

He laughed softly and replied, "You can call me Gaius."

"I could- but it is not your real name," she remarked, almost repeating his words during their first meeting.

"Indeed. It was my son's name." His voice dropped to a mere whisper.

"I too had a son named Gaius," she murmured, understanding he too had lost his child and wanting to share his pain.

"Really?"

"Really. He died a few years ago."

"You had a very sad life, my lady Gaia." He murmured but she decided not to reply. The conversation was beginning to become too intimate for the two strangers they still were, and thus she felt her defences coming up. She was not ready to speak more about her past, not now and perhaps not ever.

Gaius sensed the change in her attitude and squeezed her middle with his arms, showing her he had understood her sudden silence and was going to respect it.

Gaia was surprised by his sensitivity and by her comprehension of his reactions, but refused to ponder the matter further, lest she lose the peace of mind their lovemaking had brought to her.

Maximus was lying on the bed, his eyes closed, savouring the sense of relaxation coming from his recent climax. Wrapped in his arms, Gaia was beginning to gain back her breath, and he let one of his fingers slide on her face to trace the scar that crossed her right cheek. The ability with which he was now able to find the details of her body in the darkness, amazed and then saddened him. He had thought he would have been able to settle only with their meetings in the dark, glad for their beautiful and uncomplicated lovemaking that allowed him to return to his house relaxed and in peace with himself, but lately he was beginning to think it was no longer enough for him. More than once he had awoken in the middle of the night, searching for Gaia's warmth in his bed, and had been disappointed not to find her there.

Even if he had not planned for it, she had entered under his skin and now he wished to deepen their relationship. Maximus wanted to see her face- he wanted to take her outside the tavern, for a walk in Emerita Augusta, without his cape and let it be damned if someone recognized him! He wanted to ask her to come to the farm with him... But unfortunately Gaia gave no signs of wishing to take their relationship to another level. But perhaps there is still hope, he thought as he remembered the conversation they had several days before about her husband and their dead sons, two boys who had shared the same name, Gaius. A coincidence that had made them feel closer, even if Gaius was a very common name...

"Gaius?" Gaia's voice softly intruded his thoughts.

"Yes?" he replied, a bit surprised for he had thought her asleep.

"May I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you believe in the Afterlife, Gaius?"

The whispered question made Maximus open his eyes in surprise. He quickly recovered his wits and clearing his voice replied, softly but surely, "Yes, I believe in the Afterlife."

"I too. I believe my husband and son are waiting for me there

"I am sure they are," Maximus replied, feeling a sense of familiarity as the memories of a similar conversation returned to him. It had happened in Zucchabar, as he and his fellow gladiator friend Juba had observed the sunset from the roof of Proximo's school. But that day he had been the one in need of a reassurance, while today he was the one giving it.

"And what do you believe they will think of my behaviour?" Gaia enquired, resting her head more comfortably on his chest.

"Your behaviour?"

"Yes, about my encounters with you."

"Oh...well, I don't know," Maximus began, a bit hesitant, but gaining confidence along the speech, "but if your husband loved you as much as I loved my wife, I believe he will understand you are only human, with human needs. I have always felt guilty to have survived my wife and son, and for a long time I thought I should have died with them, but I was not able to bring myself to end my own life. So I believed that living without them was my punishment for not being with them when they needed me most. I still believe it, but I am also sure my Selene knows I am only a man, and understands I am not perfect. For a long time I tried to stay faithful to her memory, but- Hey, Gaia, are you all right?" He asked, sensing how tense she had suddenly become. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Your wife's name was Selene?"

"Yes," he nodded, realizing only then he had just said it aloud, "yes, she was called so."

"When did she die?" Gaia asked with an urgent tone, rising to a sitting position. 

Maximus was taken aback by her sudden move, but did not hesitate to respond, "It happened more than two years ago. It will be three years next November. Why are you asking?"

She did not answer, but he heard her breath become ragged and it worried him. "Gaia? Gaia, are you feeling well?" He too sat on the bed and his hands rose to take her by the shoulders: she was shaking like a leaf in the wind and he became very concerned. What was going on? Was it possible Gaia knew Selene? Was it the reason of her shock? He was on the verge of speaking but her voice stopped him, as after a deep breath, she whispered, "I think it would be better if you light the candle on the nightstand, Maximus."

His mouth opened and his eyes widened in the dark. "Maximus? How do you know it is my name?"

"Because I am Selene."

"What?" he choked out, before fumbling with the flint and the candle. Soon a tremulous light invaded the little room, creating plays of shadows on the startled faces of two persons that stared stunned at each other.

Maximus tried to identify his emotions as he drank in the vision in front of him. Shock. Incredulity. Stupor. But above all joy. Incommensurable, overwhelming joy. Emotions so strong they gripped his chest so hard it was difficult even to breathe, just as it had been more than two years before, when, heartbroken, he had kissed what he believed to be his wife's burned feet. Selene, his Selene, was alive in front of him, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, in spite of the years and the scars that now marred the right side of her face.

She was staring back at him, her eyes filled with tears, and her trembling hand rose to caress his cheek, as she had never done during their encounters. Her fingers brushed his beard and mouth, and he kissed them with gentleness, breathing in her scent, that smell of jasmine that had seemed always so familiar- even if only now he understood why it had been so and why he had been attracted to her from the first time he had caught a glimpse of her.

Selene continued to brush him, her fingertips lighter than feathers, her eyes now filled with wonder, as she whispered, "You are really alive, it is not a dream."

"I am alive, as you are my love, my beautiful love." Maximus' hand rose to caress her in return. "You don't know how happy I am to see you in front of me- but how did it happen? I believed you were dead... I buried you." he murmured, his voice breaking on the last words, as he thought back to that terrible day of two years before.

"Not me, the steward's wife... I escaped the carnage..." she spoke in a barely audible whisper and Maximus saw her lower her face in pain and shame.

"What is it?"

"I am afraid you will hate me because I survived but it was not so for Gaius..."

Maximus paled, becoming aware that in all of his joy he had not thought about his son nor about the reason Selene was still alive while their little boy was not. And he realized in a flash that she was scared, really scared of his reaction. Perhaps she thought he would accuse her of not protecting their child? That was impossible because he would never do it, and because he knew that whatever had happened on the farm, he was ultimately responsible of it. Thus Maximus cupped her face between his hands, raising it till her eyes locked with his, "Listen to me, Selene: whatever happened that tragic day, I will never, ever accuse you of anything. You loved Gaius with all your being and if you were not able to save him, I am sure it was because you could not do it. Do you understand?" He spoke with absolute conviction and Selene nodded. Maximus smiled briefly, and pulled her against his chest, embracing her tightly, to make her feel safe and loved.

Pressed against Maximus' chest, his heart echoing under her ear, Selene found the strength she needed to re-live her tragedy and to tell him about it. She took a deep breath and began, "We were in the training enclosure. Gaius was exercising his pony, and I was with him, controlling and encouraging him. He- he was so determinate to be a good horseman by your return... he wanted you to be proud of him." She stopped to control the trembling of her voice and both she and Maximus swallowed hard. "Suddenly a group of soldiers appeared galloping along the road. Gaius saw them first and thought it was you. He dropped the whip and the lunge and stormed to the road to meet you. I- I ran behind him, but I was not quick enough to catch up with him. When we arrived on the lane, Gaius stopped, probably searching for you among the riders. I was just a few feet behind him and I noticed those men were Praetorians, not your usual escort of legionaries and I sensed something was wrong. They were still galloping and giving no sign of slowing down and I called for Gaius -I told him to step away from the lane, but he did not hear me ...and then.. and then..."

Selene's voice died and she buried her head in his chest, tears falling down her cheeks as her eyes saw those horrible moments again. Maximus was not feeling much better, but he tried to be strong for her, his big, warm hand caressing her bare back in comforting circles. Selene drew strength from his embrace and, knowing she had to continue, she took a shuddering breath and pressed ahead, "Gaius was trampled by the horses on the lane."

Maximus' arms tightened. "What?" he choked out.

"They did not stop their run and trampled him. I saw everything. I-I was paralysed for some instants, then I ran to him, moving along the sides of the lane and avoiding the Praetorians' horses. I knelt down near Gaius. He was not moving and when I touched him I saw blood was pouring from his head: they had broken his skull and he was already dead... There was a smile on his face, so... I hope he never understood what happened to him."

"Thank you gods for this small mercy," Maximus whispered. By now they were both crying, but Selene knew she had to complete her story. "While I was kneeling, one of the Praetorians jumped on me from behind and threw me to the ground. He told me you were dead, executed as a traitor, and that soon I would die too. In that moment I thought I did not care, my life was over without you and Gaius, but- but when I felt his hands on my thighs and understood he wanted to rape me, I could not bear it and I began to fight. He hit me and grabbed my neck, almost strangling me and hurting my trachea. I continued to fight and was able to take his dagger from its sheath but he blocked my arm and slashed me on the cheek and neck. The pain was so terrible I almost fainted. But it was not yet over: when he lowered his breeches I slipped my hands between us and grabbed his privates, squeezing them with all of my strength... He rolled away from me moaning and I used that momentum to escape." Selene paused a little to gain back her breath, aware of Maximus' comforting arms around her. "I ran blindly, spurred by the screams coming from behind me, till I reached the old, abandoned bridge on the stream, and I hid there, behind some fallen pieces of a wall. The Praetorians came very near, but then they went away. I heard them say they were already late and that they had no time to lose. They were not sure I was your wife, and even if I had been, I was only a woman... not important, now that my husband was dead. They returned to the farm and I watched from afar as they crucified and burned Gaius' and the steward's wife's corpses, before they set the entire place on fire. I wanted to go back and stop them, but I could not... I could not. I remained hidden till the Praetorians went away, then wandered in the country like a sleepwalker till I reached the road to Emerita Augusta, where Numerius found me." Selene let out a heartbreaking long sigh and then raised her tears-streaked face to look at him, "Oh please, Maximus, forgive me! I should have stayed there. I should have died with our boy, since I had not been able to protect him. There has not been a single day in these years that I have not thought about Gaius and prayed for his forgiveness."

She would have continued her self-deprecating speech, but Maximus interrupted her, his voice hard. "You have nothing to feel guilty of- I am the only one responsible for Gaius' death. It was my duty to protect you and keep you safe, but I failed- twice. First I put you in mortal danger and then I was not able to reach you in time to save you. Don't punish yourself, Selene, I am the one you should blame."

He lowered his head, as if ashamed to meet her gaze, and his obvious pain touched the woman in the depth of her heart. She had never been able to bear the view of one of her family members hurting, and it was still so.

"I don't believe you, Maximus." She said with conviction, "I cannot believe you. I had always known how much you loved us. You would have never put us consciously in danger, so something had to have happened, something you were not able to control..." She stopped to check his reaction and saw Maximus nod, slowly and somehow unwillingly.

"Yes," he murmured, his voice shaky.

"Can you tell me?"

Maximus nodded again: she had the right to know and he needed to tell her, with the same honesty they had always shared- and then to beg for her forgiveness.

"It began in Germania, the day after our decisive battle against the barbarians. I was already packing my things to return home, when Marcus Aurelius summoned me in his tent and, after a brief conversation, he said he wanted me to become his successor-"

"Caesar wanted you to become emperor?" Selene could not hide her amazement, nor her pride.

"Yes, but only for the time necessary to bring Rome back to a republican government. I did not wish to accept, but he was dying and he did not want to leave the empire in his immoral son's hands. His eyes pleaded with me and I could not refuse his request."

Selene nodded: Maximus had always talked with such affection of his emperor, who had been like a father for him. She could fully understand why he could not say 'no' to Marcus Aurelius. But, obviously something had not gone as planned..."

"What happened?"

"During the night I was once again summoned by the emperor, but when I reached his tent, I found Commodus to meet me. He said his father had died in his sleep, but when I examined the corpse I saw he had been strangled. I was sure it had been Commodus; he had somehow discovered Marcus' plans and killed him before they could have made them public. He asked for my loyalty- but I could not bring myself to take his hand. Everything in me rebelled against the idea. And it was a terrible mistake, the proof I had never been a good diplomat- I should have taken his hand and worked from inside to overthrow him. I should have-"

"Stop, Maximus!" Selene interrupted his self-deprecation, just as he had done with her. "It was not a mere matter of diplomacy, or you would have pulled it out. How many truces did you arrange with German chiefs? How many peaces did you negotiate over the years? And they always worked. The Germans respected you a great deal, Cicero told me so the last time he visited the farm, and win the enemy's respect is a very difficult task. You did not take Commodus' hand because you could not take it as a man, not as a soldier..."

Maximus nodded in silence. She had always understood him better than he himself, and it had been one of the things that had bound him to her so strongly, one of the reasons that had transformed their arranged engagement into a union based on love in the space of only few hours after their first meeting.

Swallowing hard, he whispered "Thank you" and Selene smiled weakly to him, before encouraging him with her eyes to continue with his report. He took a deep breath and spoke again, "I returned to my tent, ready to prepare my counter move, but I never had the time to act, because my second in command, Quintus Aemilius Laetus, had me arrested: Commodus had ordered my execution- and yours. I was taken into the woods, away from my men, but I was able to escape, although I was wounded on my arm. I galloped home, hoping to save you and Gaius- but I was late. I found the farm destroyed... and two crucified bodies. Gaius - Gaius was recognizable and I did not doubt for a moment the other was yours; it was so badly burnt ...and I..."

Tears slid down Maximus' cheeks and he cried unashamedly, pouring out all of his pain, as the images and the emotions of that terrible day returned to submerge him. "I took the bodies down," he went on after a while, "and buried them under the poplar near the kitchen garden. Then I collapsed by the tombs, wanting nothing more but to die and join you in Elysium. My wound had become infected, I was feverish and exhausted, thus I hoped it would be easy to die, but..."

"But someone saved you?" Selene intervened, mentally thanking whomever it had been.

Maximus smiled bitterly, "You may say so... I was found by slave traders, captured and sold in Africa to fight in the arena as a gladiator."

"What!?" Selene's voice was horrified and incredulous. 

"It was what happened." Maximus continued telling her about his life in Zucchabar and the woman's heart twisted in pain at the description of all that violence and suffering he had to bear. She found no words to express her feelings for him, but hugged his body in the strongest embrace she could muster. He buried his nose in the hollow of her neck and, for several moments, silence reigned in the room, as two hearts beat in unison. Finally Selene moved back from him, caressed his lips with a finger and murmured, "It was terrible."

"But I accepted it," he whispered back, kissing her finger tip, "I thought it was my deserved punishment for not saving you and Gaius and for putting you in danger in the first place. It would have been easy to kill myself or let someone slaughter me in the arena, but I forced myself to live."

"As I did. You don't know how many times I thought to slit my wrists with a kitchen knife and to finally find peace with you and Gaius - but I believed I deserved to suffer and so I kept on living."

"We are so alike," he murmured in wonder, his index finger caressing her unmarred cheek.

"Yes, we have always been."

They were silent once again, basking in each other's presence, then she asked, "What happened next?"

Maximus sighed and told her the last part of his ordeal, from his arrival in Rome to fight in the Colosseum, to his involvement in the political scheme to eliminate Commodus; from his failed escape to the final fight. Selene listened with attention, concentrating on his words but even more on his tone, whimpering when she heard how Commodus had cruelly -- and falsely -- tormented Maximus with the description of how she and Gaius had suffered in the Praetorians' hands, and she let out a loud gasp when he told her about the stabbing in his back. She also felt a bit of jealousy for Lucilla and for how she had been able to touch Maximus' heart, but then pushed away that feeling, ashamed with herself: she had only to be grateful to the Augusta, for how she had cared for Maximus, saving his life. It was because of Marcus Aurelius' daughter and her surgeons if he was now sitting in front of her, so, Selene mentally thanked her, before returning to listen to his words.

"I stayed in Rome for a few months, but I realized this was not the place for me. So I went back to Trujillo and rebuilt the villa. I hired workers and returned to be a farmer. I did it quietly, without much fanfare because I did not want to be bothered by local politicians or curious people. I- I was decided to remain alone for the rest of my life, but after it healed, my body began to have needs-" he lowered his eyes, slightly embarrassed by the private nature of the topic, "I took care of myself for a while, but I was lonely, and I could not bring myself to taking a woman to our house. Then one day I heard about this place and about the fact the girls here were all free -- I can no longer tolerate the whole concept of slavery, I think you understand why -- and came for a visit... and you know the rest."

"Yes, I know." Selene smiled at his embarrassment, "I like to think the gods dragged you here and attracted you to me."

Maximus smiled back, "Can you ever forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive: we both acted as the simple human beings we are, and paid the price of our mistakes. We don't have to ask for each other's forgiveness, but only for Gaius'- and he was such a loving child I believe from Elysium he is happy to see us together once again."

"Indeed- perhaps it was him to bring both of us here, his way to show us he had forgiven us."

"Yes," she whispered, awed by the thought.

A comfortable silence fell upon the pair, as they savoured the freedom and lightness of spirit their confessions had brought to them, as if a big weight had been taken away from their shoulders and they were now able to look at the future with new eyes.

"Will you come home with me?" Maximus finally asked, needing her to say it aloud.

"Of course: I am your wife and that is the only place where I want and need to be. At your side." Selene's face got closer to his and captured his lips in a long, passionate kiss. When she moved back, they were both out of breath and grinning happily.

Maximus looked at the window and at the light filtering inside from the crack in the wooden shutters. "It is almost dawn. Do you want to sleep for a while? I am too charged up to rest, but if you want to-"

"No, I am not tired, and I wish to sleep in our bed tonight."

"You will do so. If we leave now and change horses along the way, we will be home by sunset."

"Perfect!" Selene smiled, then swung her legs over the edge of the bed and began to collect her clothes, soon imitated by her husband.

They dressed in silence, never leaving each other's gaze as if they were afraid it might be only a dream, and they burst in a hearty laugh when they became aware of their behaviour, shaking their heads at their own silliness.

Selene put on her undergarments and tunic, then her hand reached for the palla and she wrapped it over her shoulders and hair, but she did not cover her face because, now that her husband was once again near her, she no longer had any need to hide. Thus she wrapped the hem of the cloth on her back and fixed it with a pin. Turning her head, she met Maximus' approving eyes.

"You don't need it any more," he murmured with conviction, "for me you are more beautiful now than the day we first met."

She grinned and commented, "You are an adorable liar, but thank you anyway." Selene walked to him and took his outstretched hand.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, I am."

They left the room and stepped in the narrow corridor, Maximus' arm around Selene's waist, their hips brushing at each step they took. As they passed in front of her room, she remembered something very important.

"Wait here!" she exclaimed, wriggling free and entering her bedchamber, happy Claudia was not there, but probably sleeping with one of her clients. She liked the girl, but she was not in the mood for long explanations. At a later time, when she would have gotten everything clearer in her mind, Selene would return to talk with her friend, but not now. Now she only needed one thing. She dropped to her knees near the chest that contained her few dresses, opened it, and rummaged among the clothes.

"What are you doing?" Maximus asked from behind her back.

"I am searching for something."

"What?"

"This," she said, rising to her feet and showing her engagement ring to him. "I could not wear it while being with another man- it would not have been right."

Maximus nodded slowly, "I know. It is the same for me. My ring is waiting for me on the nightstand in our bedroom." He walked closer to her and gently took the ring from her open palm; then he took her left hand in his own, turned it around and reverently slipped the ring back to its rightful place, at her third finger, his eyes looking at her with the same love and determination of twelve years before, when they had been engaged and then married in her father's house. And just as he had done in the past, he took her hand in his, and led her away, to begin a new life together.

Numerius' eyes widened in surprise when he saw Gaia step down in the hall, her face free from the veil, her arm linked with the stranger's, he too without his usual cape. They were both smiling and there was a sense of serenity on her scarred yet beautiful face. The innkeeper cleaned his hands on the apron, and went to meet the pair, already knowing he was going to lose his cook, a blow for his tavern, but a big joy for his heart.

"Gaia," he greeted her with a smile.

The dark haired, brown eyed woman shook her head, "No, not Gaia, but Selene. That's my name. Selene Meridia."

Numerius nodded, distractingly wondering where he had already heard her family name. She seemed to read his mind, because she said, "Perhaps you have heard about my husband, Maximus Decimus Meridius."

"The 'Saviour of Rome'?" The tavern owner's eyes widened as they posed on the blue-eyed man in front of him, finally understanding why he had always worn a cape and a hood during his visits: he was afraid someone might recognize him. "You are him?" he asked for confirmation, awed to be in the presence of such a famous man, and inwardly wondered how it was possible nobody of the upper class in Emerita Augusta -- who had discussed Commodus' death by the hand of a former general of the army for a lot of time -- knew of his return to Hispania from Rome.

"I prefer to be simply called 'Maximus the farmer', but yes, I am him." The younger man replied softly.

"And you two are married?" Numerius' eyes danced from one face to the other.

"Yes, we are. We both thought the other to be dead, but the gods -- and a certain stubborn man now wearing an apron -- helped us to find each other again." Selene commented, then left her husband's side and took both of Numerius' hands in hers. "Thank you for everything, my friend. I would not have survived without your help and support." She said looking deeply into his eyes. "You showed me life can go on, must go on, and gave me the strength to do it." Her voice broke in the end and they embraced will all their force. Numerius felt tears prick at his eyes, feeling like a father seeing his daughter go away to begin a new life with the man she loves: he felt joy for her, but also sadness.

"I am so happy for you, darling, but I will miss you very much. Promise me you will return to visit us every now and then."

"Of course, we will come again soon." Maximus interjected, stepping in front of him and offering his hand. "I cannot even begin to express to you my gratitude for everything you did for my wife. Please feel free to come to me, in case you should ever need anything. As for myself, I will find you a new cook to help you here in the kitchen, that's a promise."

Numerius opened his mouth to protest, but a glare from the former general informed him it would be only wasted breath.

"Thank you," he capitulated, releasing Maximus' hand. He turned once again to Selene and, after another heartfelt embrace, watched her leave his tavern, with her arm linked with her husband's and a new lightness in her step.

Maximus and Selene stepped into the street and he steered her to the right side of it, directing to the public stable where he had left his cart. The new day had just begun, and there was still little light. However the city had already awoken: the vendors were opening their shops and putting the merchandise on the stands, while groups of field workers were leaving their homes directed to the country.

Maximus pressed his wife's body closer against his hip, wanting to feel her warmth and smell her scent, still somehow incredulous she was really alive and near him. They were not speaking to each other, because there was no need: for the moment they only wanted to savour the silent communion of their hearts.

They had almost reached the stable, when a strange, feeble sound, resembling a moan, intruded into their thoughts. Husband and wife stopped and looked at each other.

"Did you hear this?" asked Selene and Maximus nodded. "What was it?"

"I don't know; it seemed a moan or a whimper."

They watched around, to the houses and warehouses lined up along the road, searching for some clues about the nature and the provenience of the sound, when it echoed again. And this time there was no doubt about what it was: a cry, child's wail. Maximus moved quickly to a low stone wall fitted in between two buildings and climbed over it, finding himself in a little piece of untended land, full of pieces of broken pottery, furniture and other kind of trash.

"Do you see anything?" said Selene, peering from the other side of the wall.

"No, I- Wait! I see something in that corner." He ran to a portion of terrain that was in the shadow created by the wall, and knelt in the dried grass, his eyes posed on an old basket covered with a filthy rag. He pushed aside the fabric and he found two bright brown eyes staring back at him from a tiny face still dirty with blood. The child had stopped crying, reaching out its little fist and, without conscious thought, Maximus caressed it with his index finger.

"Maximus? Are you all right?" Selene called, the anxiety in her voice betraying her fear of losing him another time: a lot of time would need to pass before certain scars faded.

"Don't worry, I am fine. But I've just found someone who is in great need of help." With infinite care, he took the basket in his arms and rose to his feet, walking back to his wife.

Selene eyes widened, then moistened when she saw what her husband was carrying and looked at the newborn's face.

"Poor little one," she murmured, her fingers caressing the tiny cheeks. "Do you think they abandoned it?"

"Her," corrected Maximus, who had raised the blanket to check if the umbilical cord had been cut and tied. "Yes, I am afraid she has been exposed."

"Why? Does she have any physical faults?"

"I cannot see any. She seems perfect to me, just hungry." Maximus smiled at the little face.

"How can a parent expose a child and condemn it to death or slavery? How is it possible to do such a thing?" wondered Selene, as she removed her palla and wrapped it around the infant instead of the ragged fabric. For a woman like her, whose only son had died, and who had lost her fertility very early in her life, it was not a merely inconceivable cruelty, but also a terrible waste of such a precious gift.

"I cannot give an answer to you because I have none, but I can tell you I am not going to leave her here."  Maximus raised his eyes and locked them with Selene's, his blue-green eyes pools telling her what was in his heart. "We still have so much love to give and we cannot have more children of our own- and she needs parents."

Selene bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling, almost not believing the gods could have turned out to be so merciful with them. She then eagerly nodded to her husband and picked the basket up in her arms, as Maximus climbed back over the wall. When he was on the other side, he put his arm around his wife and their new daughter, silently enjoying Selene's radiant smile.

Epilogue - April 184 AD

Sitting on the edge of their villa porch, surrounded by the landscape of their striving fields and vineyards, Selene Meridia watched as her husband helped their daughter Julia to take her first steps in a sandy spot of the courtyard. They had given that name to the child because she had been born and found in that month, but perhaps they should have called her 'Sunshine', because she had become the sun in their lives, bringing even more strength and love into their union. The child had a shaky beginning because of her exposure and the fact she had to be fed with animal milk until they had found a wet nurse, but she had quickly left behind her initial difficulties, and she was now strong and plump. Selene smiled as Maximus waved in her direction, his eyes flashing a grin to her. It was so good to see him laugh, to have him always near her, knowing it was going to be for the rest of their lives because, at least for him, there were no more wars to fight. Selene was still amazed and awed by how her husband had been able to survive his ordeal, not only physically whole, but mentally sound. To find himself a slave had been terrible for him, even if he had told her nothing had compared with the pain of losing her and Gaius.

Gaius. Her eyes moved to rest on the little spot of earth where her son rested, his tomb surrounded by multicoloured flowers she and Maximus tended to every day. His loss would always leave a void in their hearts, and they would always regret the life he could not have, but now, at least, the wound of his death was beginning to heal, leaving behind a scar that, just like those on her face and Maximus' arm and back, was slowly fading, mended by time and love.