The next evening, after dinner, Lucilla knocked on the door of Maximus' room.

It opened at once and he appeared on the threshold. 

"Lucilla," he said in that deep rumble that never failed to cause a shiver to run along her spine. "What can I do for you?" He was polite but cold.

"May I come in? I have something important to show you." Lucilla saw him stiffen, but he nevertheless motioned her inside.

She walked to the centre of the room, then turned around to face Maximus, who had remained standing near the now closed door. He wore one of the tunics she had given him, a white cotton one, and nothing else. It seemed evident he was getting ready to go to bed and she wondered if he would strip completely before sliding between the sheets... Mentally kicking herself, Lucilla said, "Can you come closer? I wish you to read these two scrolls."

Maximus walked to her in a way that was guarded and relaxed at the same time, looking commanding and noble even when being almost naked.

"What are they?" He enquired, once in front of her.

"Read for yourself. This first," and she handed him the thickest scroll. Maximus unrolled it and Lucilla watched anxiously as he read the diploma sanctioning his freedom. She saw his eyes widen and his mouth open slightly, as his breath seemed to quicken. So, after all, being free again was not as unimportant as he had claimed the last time they had met in that room...She smiled at herself.

"Do you really mean this?" Maximus murmured then, raising his eyes to look at her.

"Yes. And I will tell you more: I have already commissioned a bronze copy of that diploma. I am just sorry I cannot give you your freedom as Maximus Decimus Meridius, but only as the Spaniard, but I will do my best to have you name restored..."

"I was not referring to it. Here there is written you will give me 350.000 sestertii and that I will be free to leave whenever I want..."

"I meant that too. I wish nothing more than to help you Maximus, but if you don't trust me that much, then allow me to help you to build a new life for yourself." Lucilla's voice trembled with barely contained emotions, as she prayed to the gods that Maximus' next words would not be the announcement of his imminent departure.

He looked briefly away, then rolled up his diploma and he tilted his chin to indicate the scroll in her hand. "What is written in there?"

"It is a letter from Senator Gracchus, the Senate decanus. He is the man I told you about. I am trying to arrange a meeting with him since he too is here in Baiae for few days of vacation."

"Why?"

"I told you that too, Maximus. I want to help you to get your revenge."

Maximus took a step forward. "Do you realize what are you saying, Lucilla? I want to kill your brother." His eyes bore into hers, leaving her no way to escape his questioning gaze.

"I am aware of it, Maximus. More than you can imagine." She sighed and, seeing his confused expression, explained. "A few months ago, Senator Gracchus and I discussed the situation regarding Commodus and we both reached the conclusion he had to be eliminated- for the good of Rome and Lucius' safety." She closed her eyes, acutely aware of what she had just said. She wanted to kill her brother to keep her son safe- could there be a more terrible choice for a woman?

Lucilla blinked, and found Maximus still staring at her. But something had changed in him. 

His gaze was gentler, and his face had softened, the lines around his eyes and mouth less deep. He even seemed younger than a few minutes before.

"You risk very much by associating with me. You know what Commodus will do to us - to your son - if we are discovered?"

"I know. But I cannot act differently. I have much to pay for. For what I did not do in Germania, and... for what I did to you twelve years ago."

Maximus' eyes turned almost liquid as he murmured. "You have nothing to pay for. You were just a child back then, and what you do now is because you love your son. You are strong for him."

"I am tired of being strong." Lucilla whispered back, "My brother hates all the world and you were the first on his list."

"Because your father chose me."

Lucilla did not know exactly what he meant, but she shook her head. "No, because my father loved you ... and because I loved you."

"A long time ago." Maximus took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it tenderly and causing her to shiver at the feel of his soft beard against her skin.

"Was I very different then?" Lucilla asked, thinking back to those days that she still remembered as her happiest ever.

Maximus smiled slightly, caressing her cheek with his index finger. "You laughed more."

Lucilla stared mesmerized at his eyes, at the softness and fondness she could see in them. What an amazing change from the cold man of the previous days...Perhaps...perhaps there was still hope...

"I have felt alone all my life...except with you." She confessed, baring her heart to him, offering herself to him, risking everything in that wild gamble. He could have shattered her with a mere word or look, but it was not so. Maximus breathed deeply, then stepped even closer, so close she could feel the heat emanating from his body.

They looked deeply into each other's eyes and without knowing who moved first, their lips met in a kiss that was tender and passionate at the same time. A kiss of forgiveness. Of hope. A taste of what had been and could be again.

Lucilla took Maximus' head in her hands, caressing his beard as for the first time in twelve years she savoured again the taste of his mouth. She felt overwhelmed by it, by the sheer sensations coursing through her. Heat. Cold. Strength. Weakness. Desire.

Lucilla sensed Maximus decrease his pressure and realized he was about to break their contact. She whimpered against his mouth and tried to restrain him, not wanting that kiss to ever end.

But it had to.

Maximus moved back from her as he observed her closely. His breath was hurried and his eyes shone with the never forgotten light she had seen twelve years before.

He wanted her too.

It was plain in sight.

Lucilla felt almost dizzy at that awareness and her eyes darted quickly, almost on their volition, to his bed. But when she returned to look at Maximus, it was to see him gently shake his head.

"It is not yet the time, Lucilla," he whispered, but she was not disappointed, because in his eyes she had read the promise that the time would come.

Soon.

Two days later Lucilla, Maximus, Lucius and several members of the household went to Baiae to attend a summer festival- or so the spies Commodus probably had in town had to believe. Baiae was not called "Pusilla Roma" for nothing. During the summer months it really was a "Little Rome" for many senators and knights owned villas in the area or along the coast, from Cumae to Neapolis. It was easy to surmise Falco, Commodus' whoremaster, as Gracchus had once called him, would send his thugs there to control the situation.

But Lucilla and her party were ready for them.

While Maximus had dressed in a way that made him blend with her servants, Lucilla had donned a very gaudy red palla and roamed the crowned streets with Lucius at her side, so to be noticed by every one, and spent time talking with several local politicians.

When she thought it was enough, she claimed to be tired, called for her litter and climbed inside it, where one of her maids, similar to her in height and complexion was waiting hidden behind the curtains. The two women exchanged their clothes and as soon they were certain nobody was looking, Lucilla slipped out of the litter and mingled with the crowd, as her party returned to the villa.

With Maximus at her side, they negotiated the roads to Senator Gracchus' place behaving like a couple of common people enjoying the festival, often stopping to admire the jugglers and the street actors as they moved toward their destination.

They waited till the sun began to set and Maximus was absolutely sure nobody was observing the place, then crossed the little square in front of the senator's villa and knocked at the servants' entrance.

Senator Gracchus himself came to open the door. 

"Come inside, quickly." The white haired and bearded man ushered them in, threw an anxious look outside, then closed the door. As soon as the bolt slid in place he seemed to relax and he faced Lucilla. "Forgive my manners, Lucilla, but I have been waiting for hours and I was getting nervous."

"I am sorry, my friend, but we needed to be sure nobody would notice us come here."

Lucilla's use of the plural made Gracchus realize the man at her side was not one of her servants - for slaves were usually unnoticed and unconsidered in such occasions- but someone more important. The senator looked more closely at Maximus, trying to place him, then turned his puzzled gaze on Lucilla. "I am afraid I don't know this gentleman, My Lady."

"You don't know him in person, Senator, for he never came to Italy before. But I am sure you are more than familiar with his name, for it brought much glory to Rome. Let me introduce you General Maximus Decimus Meridius, my father's Commander of the Armies of the North." Lucilla paused and smiled inwardly, seeing how Maximus shifted his weight, embarrassed by her comment, and by the obvious pride in her voice. In truth, she had always been proud of his accomplishments and career, which she had followed through the reports Marcus Aurelius had passed to her through the years. It had given her the illusion to be close to Maximus, although she still remembered how hard it had been to read he had married, and that it seemed to be a joining based on real affection and not on political considerations.

"But that was the past..." she said to herself, thinking back to the kiss they had exchanged two nights before, to how they had talked the previous day, sitting in the garden, and to the way he had held her hand that afternoon. He had been gentle, protective...and possessive. And it had filled her heart with joy. Shaking herself from her reverie, Lucilla completed the introduction. "Maximus, this is Senator Marcus Tullius Gracchus, one of my father's best friends and the Senate decanus."

The two men shook hands.

"General," said Gracchus. "Of course I have read a lot about you, especially from the late Caesar. But I thought you dead, killed in Germania".

"I am not, Senator, but I don't think Commodus would be happy to know it." Maximus' tone was sarcastic.

The other man nodded, then gestured with his hand. "Come, follow me. Let's go into a room where we will be more comfortable. I have sent my entire household to the festival, so no one will hear us or see you."

They moved to Gracchus' library, where they all sat around a table where someone had put a bowl of sweets and a pitcher of wine with some cups. The senator indicated them to his guests, and when they both refused, he turned to Lucilla and said. "So, my child, yesterday you wrote you wanted to inform me about something important."

"Not me, Gracchus. The General. He has something to say to both of us." She faced Maximus, who nodded once. There was a moment of silence, as he collected his thoughts, then he began.

"Do you remember the morning when we met in Germania, in the Praetorium, after I left your father's tent?" He asked her.

"Of course."

"You enquired about he had wanted with me, but I did not reply."

"I remember this too."

"Well, I could not speak with you because Marcus had just told me a very important and stunning thing. Something I would have never imagined...He had asked me to become the Protector of Rome after his death."

"WHAT?!" Lucilla and Gracchus exclaimed in unison.

"Yes," Maximus confirmed softly. "Marcus said Commodus could not rule. That he had not to rule, because he was not a moral man. But I suppose he did not realize how degenerate his son really was, otherwise he would not have confronted him alone." He lowered his head to stare at his hands, resting atop the table, as Lucilla and Gracchus fell silent.

Her mind was working frantically, as several pieces of the mosaic fell into place and long past conversations took a different meaning.

"Do you think he's really dying?"

"He's been dying for ten years."

"If he weren't really dying he wouldn't have sent for us."

"Maybe he just misses us."

"And the Senators...he wouldn't have summoned them if...."

"Peace, Commodus. After two weeks on the road your incessant scheming is hurting my head."

"He's made his decision, he's going to announce it! He will name me ...."

"How was your journey?"

"Long - uncomfortable. Why have I come?"

"I need your help...with your brother."

"Of course."

"He loves you, he always has and ... he will need you now, more than ever."

"Commodus expects my father to announce succession within days. Will you serve my brother as you have served my father?"

"I will always serve Rome."

Lucilla turned those lines in her mind time and again, then commented. "So that's why you did not swear loyalty to Commodus. You knew he was not the real emperor..."

Maximus nodded. "Yes, I knew. Your father and I had signed a contract before I retired for the night. It was his intention to make it public the next morning, but he never had the time to do so. It is my opinion he called Commodus in his rooms to tell him in private, to somehow lessen the blow, but it did not go as he had planned..." He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "When I left the tent after refusing Commodus' hand, I wanted to ask the advice of the senators present in the camp, but I was arrested before I could do it."

"I know about this," commented Gracchus, who had been silent for a while, intent on listening to the others' words. "Senator Gaius was there, and he told me your arrest and execution had been very sudden and carried out in the middle of the night, so that your men could not rebel. We both thought something serious must have happened, but we could never imagine such a thing. Marcus Aurelius never gave any indication he did not wish his son to succeed him...he had even associated Commodus to the throne some years before his death."

"Marcus Aurelius loved his son," Maximus murmured, "and hoped till the end he would mature and change. He thought sharing the responsibilities of governing with him might help, but it did not work. So, when he felt death closing in, he decided to do what he believed best for Rome."

Lucilla nodded, her throat tight. She had always known Maximus had loved her father very much, but she had never guessed how deep their connection had really been.

"And now what do you plan to do?" enquired Gracchus, his voice business-like.

"I would like to overthrow Commodus. If I had the means to contact my army and the support of the Senate I could-"

"What?" Gracchus' shout echoed in the room. "You want to lead an army in Rome? Nobody has done that in over one hundred years!"

"He is right Maximus- it would be very risky. And also, the legions all have new commanders, loyal to Commodus."

"When my men see me alive you shall see where their loyalties lie." Maximus commented with certainty.

"This is madness!" Gracchus stood up and paced back and forth, "I will not trade one dictatorship for another!"

Maximus remained sitting. "The time for half measures and talk is over, Senator. If you want to stop this reign of terror, you must act with decision. You know Commodus would never show mercy or weakness in your regards. You must do the same if you want to avoid him bringing the Empire to its downfall."

"And after your glorious coup, what then? You will take your warriors and leave?" Gracchus had stopped pacing, and was staring at him, very sceptic.

"I will leave, if you will order me to do so, but the soldiers will stay for your protection, under the command of the Senate."

"So, once all of Rome is yours, you will just give it back to the people. Tell me why?" Gracchus was now curious.

"Because that was the last wish of a dying man. I did not tell you everything, Senator. Marcus Aurelius wanted me to restore the republic. He wanted Rome to return to Her people. I want only to kill Commodus and avenge my emperor and my wife and son, who were killed by his order. Once it is done, I will leave the fate of Rome to you, in your capable hands."

Lucilla and Gracchus exchanged a long look, and she saw him silently ask for her counsel, as Maximus waited patiently. She nodded to him, and saw the old man take a deep breath.

In the end the senator moved closer to Maximus' chair and said softly, "Marcus Aurelius trusted you. His daughter trusts you. I will trust you. The Senate will support your quest."

"Thank you." Maximus rose to his feet and the two men exchanged a long handshake. Trusting each other was a big leap of faith for both of them, but they were aware it was the only possible course if they wanted to accomplish what it was important for them.

Lucilla sighed in relief, but she knew it was going to be a short lived feeling, for now would come the time to decide how better act, and she had no doubt it was going to be difficult...Or was it not?

A strange smile had appeared on Gracchus' usually stern visage and his eyes were shining in a peculiar way.

"What is it?" She enquired.

"Nothing my child...or better, everything..." The cryptic reply puzzled her even more and she looked confused as the politician walked to his desk at the other side of the room and took out a scroll from a little treasure chest.

He returned near the table and handed it to Maximus. "Read this, General. It is a letter from Senator Gaius; it arrived this morning. I believe you will find it most interesting."

He looked like a cat who has swallowed a little bird, and Lucilla rose to her feet to read the letter from behind Maximus' shoulder.

Her eyes ran along the lines and widened in surprise. It was not possible!

Senator Gaius had written Commodus had asked for reinforcements in Germania and the Felix Legion III, which was currently stationed in Ostia, was scheduled to leave in six days. The Felix Legion III, Maximus' own legion!

It seemed almost too good to be true.

Maximus turned to look at her and she saw his eyes were very bright. Their fingers intertwined almost without volition as he murmured. "This is a sign from the gods. It has to be."

"Yes, it is." Lucilla smiled at him, squeezing his hand.

Maximus cleared his throat, freed his fingers and returned in command of his emotions. "We have little time, we must act now. Tomorrow morning I will leave for Ostia."

"I will come with you and help you with the army..." Lucilla began, but Maximus emphatically shook his head.

"No. You must not come with me. I am confident everything will go well, but you must not be associated with me in any way."

"But-"

"There are no buts, Lucilla. You must think of your son. And you must go to Rome to prepare the ground should we be successful."

"He is right, my child," intervened Gracchus, putting a hand on her arm. "You must protect yourself and young Lucius."

Lucilla bit her lower lip. Of course she knew they were right, but she also wanted to help Maximus. She loved him as fiercely as she loved Lucius and her heart was torn between the two men in her life. But in the end she realized that while Maximus could care for himself, her son needed her protection. It was her duty to stay with him. So she nodded. "We will do as you suggest."

"I will also leave," added Gracchus, "and once we are back in the Urbs we might try to create some kind of diversion to distract Falco and his spies from what we are really going to do.... I already have some ideas..."

"Good." Maximus approved, before sighing and standing up. "It is best we leave. Tomorrow will be a long day."

Gracchus and Lucilla imitated him and moved to the corridor and then to the exit.

But before Maximus and Lucilla stepped out in the darkness, the three of them shared another handshake, somehow sealing their plans...and their future.

The moon, visible from the open window, was already high in the sky and Lucilla knew she should try to sleep for the next day would be frantic, but she neither could stop her pacing nor will herself to sleep. She was simply too nervous and not even the long time she had spent in front of the mirror brushing her hair had helped soothe her.

Maximus was leaving the next day.

Lucilla had just found him again and now he was leaving. And only the gods knew if he would ever return. So many things could go wrong and every one of them kept popping up in her mind.

Someone hostile to him could spot him in the Ostian camp before he could contact the officers who were loyal to him. Intercepting Commodus' party in Germania could turn into a bloodbath if the legions stationed there decided to side with the emperor. Some senators may create difficulties in Rome...

Lucilla sighed and stopped near the window, looking outside, and thought again about what Maximus had said her two evenings ago.

"It is not yet the time, Lucilla."

Now she wondered if there would ever be time for them, just for Lucilla and Maximus, not for Marcus Aurelius' daughter and his trusted general. A time when neither of them would have to put duty before their feelings. Before what they needed.

Someone knocked on her door and despite the late hour she did not hesitate to call, "Come in!" 

Whatever the reason of the visit, perhaps it would help distract her from her grim thoughts. She turned around, somehow expecting to see her senior maid, for she had the tendency to mother her around, but it was not so.

Instead of the trusted old lady, Maximus was standing just inside the room, wearing a short sleeping tunic and carrying a cup in his hand. He was looking at her, at her linen-covered body with such intensity that Lucilla's heart started pounding. What was he doing here?

"Lucilla..."

"Maximus..."

They spoke at the same time, stopped, and she gestured him to talk for first.

He looked briefly around the room, then said, "I am sorry if I am disturbing you, but I saw light coming from beneath the door and I decided to check if you were all right."

"I am; thank you for your concern."

Maximus nodded once. "Good. Now I will leave you." But in spite of his words he made no move to go.

Lucilla's heartbeat quickened even more.

"What do you have in that cup?" she asked, tilting her chin to indicate his hand, as she approached him.

"Wine. I am having trouble falling asleep and I thought it might help to relax me. I just picked it up in the kitchen."

"I see. Sleep is deserting me too tonight. Perhaps I should also try with the wine..." Lucilla murmured, coming to stop very close to him and staring at his eyes.

Without a word, Maximus offered her the cup and she took it, sipping the wine before handing it back to him. The liquid warmed her insides, but not as much as the sight of Maximus drinking from the cup, and making a deliberate show to put his lips where she had pressed hers. He never stopped looking at her as he did so, nor did he when he licked his lips to remove any trace of wine.

The room became hot around Lucilla, as Maximus put the cup on a nearby table and then faced her again, turning around in that slow way she had seen him do in the arena. There was something feral and dangerous in the way he moved, and Lucilla felt again the thrill she had experienced in the Colosseum, when she had watched the Spaniard fight.

"I think the time has come, Lucilla," Maximus murmured, in a hoarse tone that was commanding and yet inviting, and that made her quiver and moisten. No other man had ever looked at her with such intensity and she had never wanted any other man to stare at her with such lust written so clear in his eyes.

"Yes, it has..." Lucilla whispered back, her hands rising slowly to her shoulders to unfasten the brooches keeping her tunic in place. She wore nothing else beneath, and she heard him gasp as the fabric slide down, leaving her naked in front of him.

Any concern Lucilla might had had regarding how Maximus would judge her was blown away by the way he stared at her body. It seemed his eyes wanted to take everything in at the same time, darting quickly from her breasts to her womanhood, then back to her face, as a tell tale bulge appeared under his tunic, making her feel dizzy with the power she now knew she had over him.

Without a word, Lucilla covered the few steps separating them and let herself fall to her knees at Maximus' feet. She took the hem of his tunic and stood up, sliding the fabric up his legs, thighs, his hips, his chest, letting the linen caress him, until he raised his arms above his head to help her to get rid of it.

Lucilla had never stopped to look at his eyes while she did so, but once he was naked, she let her gaze drop over his form and a silent, "Oh..." of wonder formed on her lips.

She had never imagined a man could look like him.

Broad shoulders. Sculpted arms. A wide chest. A flat abdomen covered by fine, golden hair. Narrow hips. Shapely legs. Strong thighs. And between them...the real treasure.

Lucilla had never thought an aroused manhood to be beautiful, but Maximus' certainly was.

It was long, thick, arching and pointing toward her, its tip already moist with his desire.

"Do you like what you see, my lady?" Maximus murmured into her ear, his breath fanning her skin.

"Yes..." She reached out to caress him, enjoying how his breath caught in his throat at the first brush of her fingers against his hot, throbbing flesh. "You have quite a sword here, brave champion."

"Do you want me to show you how can I use it?" Maximus growled, his hand closing over hers as it slid along his shaft.

"Yes...show me..." Lucilla was intoxicated by Maximus' voice, proximity, smell and by the promise she saw burning in his eyes.

Without warning, Maximus removed both their hands from his sex, bowed and swept her up in his arms, carrying her to the bed waiting on the other side of the room. His actions were so quick and so full of ardour that Lucilla fully expected to be thrown on the mattress and be ravished, but it was not so.

Maximus lowered her gently, cupping her nape with his hand, and stretched out at her side.

When she looked at him, surprised, he whispered, "I don't want to play a game, Lucilla. Not now. I want this to be between you and me. A man and a woman loving each other; nothing more, nothing less."

"You- you love me?" Lucilla stammered. She had thought he cared for her, felt attracted by her...but love? After everything she had done to him, he still loved her?"

"Yes, I do. I think I never stopped loving you..." A smile. "I know that many a man wonders if it is possible to love two women at the same time...Well, I can answer them: yes, it is possible. At least for me."

Lucilla's eyes filled with tears and turning on her side, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him to her bosom. "I love you too, Maximus. Always have. Always will." She breathed against his ear before her passion, fuelled by the awareness of their mutual love rose again.

Lucilla bit and then licked Maximus' earlobe eliciting a deep groan from him. He pushed her back to lie on the mattress and covered her slender body with his big, warm one. Lucilla moaned at the sensation of his weight over her, of his skin sliding and rubbing against her own, of his hard muscles pressed against her softness. It had been years since she had experienced this kind of real contact with another person...An interaction where she was just Lucilla, daughter of Marcus, and not some kind of icon with a precise role she had to perform while expecting the others to respect it. She had always been an emperor's daughter; an emperor's wife; an emperor's sister and the mother of a potential new Caesar. Never before in her life she had felt just like a woman free to be truly herself as she now was, as she writhed beneath Maximus, prey to the indescribable feelings his passionate hands and mouth were awaking in her

Maximus' touch was gentle yet demanding, hungry yet delicate. His lovemaking was as intense as everything about him, and she gave herself to him. Body, heart and soul.

Lucilla cried out when his lips closed around her pebble-hard nipple, suckling and biting it, before trying to engulf as much of her breast as his hot, demanding mouth could take. She arched her back, offering herself even more openly to him and was rewarded when Maximus turned his attention to her other nipple, giving it the same, loving care of its twin.

"You are beautiful," he then murmured, rising up to ravish her mouth, his tongue invading and stabbing her as his hard manhood wanted to do, as he rubbed himself against her legs.

Lucilla felt dizzy with passion, and when he freed her lips, she bit hard on the spot where his strong neck joined his shoulder, causing Maximus to growl deep into his throat, before she soothed the reddened spot with her tongue, relishing the salty taste of his skin.

Maximus attacked her breasts again with his mouth, as his fingers started their journey of discovery down her body, caressing her belly, petting her nether curls, before insinuating between her thighs to touch her warm, sensitive flesh. The moistness welcoming him there seemed to fuel his ardour even more, pushing it beyond his limits. Maximus suddenly pushed her legs apart with his knees and nestled between them, his body tense, like an archer ready to release his bow. He raised his head, looking at her, and the need Lucilla read in his eyes made her understand he was about to succumb to his overwhelming passion- and yet, even at that crucial moment, he offered her the chance to back away, had she not been certain of what she felt or wanted. But that idea would never cross her mind in a thousand years. She needed him as if he were the air she breathed in.

And she needed him to need her. 

Completely.

Forever.

"Take me, Maximus," Lucilla said, her voice clear and sure. "Make me yours."

"Yes..." He bent his head, kissed her again, then flexed his hips and entered her with a single, strong push.

Lucilla cried out, planting her fingers in his forearms and shifting her hips as she adjusted to the turgid flesh invading her. It had been so long for her, and her muscles rebelled against the intrusion, although her heart sang with joy.

She watched Maximus bite his lower lip as he struggled to control his need to thrust and gave her the time to get used to him. Beads of sweat formed on his brow and slid along his temple, his chest heaved, his teeth gritted. At the sight of his unselfishness, Lucilla felt herself open like a flower, and wrapping her long legs around his waist, she gave him the permission to love her.

And love her he did.

Completely.

Deeply.

Totally.

Giving her all of himself.

Filling every empty place in her soul and heart.

Banishing away the loneliness that had always haunted her...

And doing it forever.

At dawn Lucilla watched as Maximus mounted a horse and rode away. She remained there, looking at him gallop along the lane leading to the main road. Looking at him depart from her life once more. She remained there in silence, tall, regal and proud, looking as his shape became smaller by the moment, blurred by the dust and the distance till he finally disappeared. And even when it happened, her eyes remained dry.

But her throat was so tight she was barely able to breath.

"Please Father, watch over him." She prayed, "Bring him safe back to me. Now that I know what love is really about I could not bear to not hold him again."

Unbidden Lucilla's memory returned to a few hours before... After their lovemaking Maximus had fallen asleep in her arms, but she had stayed awake, enveloped by the night and by love.

She had studied each detail of Maximus' sleeping face, enjoying how the moonlight bathed his strong body and attractive face with its silver beams, and how, in his slumber, he had seemed younger than his thirty four years. So much so, she had felt the need to embrace him tighter and protect him from any danger.

She had remained awake all night and watched as the moon had disappeared and the sun had arisen, stretching its rosy fingers to caress both her and Maximus. He had woken up then and they had loved again, sweetly and impossibly tenderly, saying with their bodies the goodbye they could not express with their words.

After that Maximus had washed, dressed, eaten a piece of bread with cheese and left her.

"I will send you a message as soon as I can," had been his parting line. Then he had squeezed her hand a last time and exited the house. 

Lucilla had run behind him, not caring she was dressed only in her nightgown, feeling the urge to call him back, to say something, no matter what to keep him near her a while longer. But then she had remembered who she was. And as Maximus was again, foremost, a soldier of Rome as he prepared to gallop to Ostia, so she was again, foremost, the daughter of the Emperor he had sworn to serve.

So she straightened her back and stayed in silence, keeping her torment closed inside herself.

Then, when Maximus was disappeared and the cloud of dust he had raised had settled again, she slowly turned around and returned inside the house, ready to do her duty and prepare to travel back to Rome.

Lucilla squinted her eyes, and pushed away some tendrils of her hair, but no matter what she did, her vision remained limited to just few feet in front of her. The heavy rain that had been falling since the early morning was like a wall, a wet curtain surrounding the small caravan. On any other occasion Lucilla would have ordered the drivers to stop at some inn along the way and wait there for the end of the downpour, but not that day.

She was too hard pressed to get closer to Rome, and even if the wagons could only advance at slow pace, for the mules' hooves and the wheels had little grip on the slippery paved road, it was better that not moving at all.

Despite the inclement weather, Lucilla was not travelling inside her wagon, but sat outside, on the driver's seat. If her choice had surprised her entourage, they had not shown it, and she had been grateful she did not have to explain to them how her anxiety was consuming her and how she felt like she was suffocating in the little confinement of the wagon. At least, sitting outside, she could feel the wind and the occasional drop of water of her face, and look at what she could see of the peaceful landscape surrounding her. Concentrating on the road ahead also helped her think, and there were so many things she had to ponder...So many things she would have to do or arrange once she was back in Rome. But while the wagon brought her closer to her destination, and to the moment the politician would have to take precedence over the woman in love, her thought rounded more and more around Maximus.

Had he done it? Had he taken control of his legion?

Four days had elapsed since he had ridden away and she had yet to receive the message he had promised to send her.

Was it a good sign? Was it a bad one? Should she send someone to check the situation at the camp they would be closer to Ostia? Could she dare to do it? Or was she worrying for nothing? Perhaps the messenger had simply missed them or had stopped in some inn along the Appian Road waiting for the rain to decrease.

Lucilla desperately wanted to know, but she could not risk putting Maximus in danger or raise suspicions...She looked skyward, asking for guidance from the gods and in that precise moment, as if it was an heavenly sign, the wall of water in front of her opened, and she saw a rider come in their direction.

He seemed to be covered from head to foot with a dark cape, and was galloping as if pursued by the Furies, not on the paved road, but in the fields running along it, so that his horse could have more balance.

For a long, heart stopping moment Lucilla thought it could be Maximus, fleeing away because his plan had failed, but as the rider approached, she noticed that even with his cloak on, he was too small to be her lover.

When he arrived at few feet from the wagon, the man reined his horse to walk, lead it on the road, and flanked the chief of her escort, exchanging few words with him. The guard pointed in her direction and the newcomer nodded, before riding to her.

Lucilla order the halt and waited till the stranger was at her side. It was a man in his early thirties, with shoulder-long hair, wet despite the cape he wore, and the face marred by several scars- a face she had already seen...but where?

"My Lady Lucilla?"

She nodded.

"I am Cicero, General Maximus' freedman and manservant in the army."

Lucilla's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak, "How..." He voice failed her.

"My master sent me to give this to you."

Cicero searched in a leather bag tied to the saddle and gave her a small scroll.

Lucilla opened it with trembling fingers and read:

It is done, Lucilla. I have taken control of the legion. The men are all with me. We are going to leave Ostia and march north tomorrow morning. By the time you get this, we will already be on the road. Please, pray for our success, as I will beg my blessed father to keep you and Lucius safe. May the gods grant us to see each other again- soon. In the meantime, be careful and don't risk too much.

I salute you now, my Lucilla: the memory of the night we spent together and the love we shared will warm my heart in the weeks to come...till the day I will be able to hold you again.

Maximus

Lucilla put down the note and, for the first time in four days, she smiled. A blinding, tear-filled smile that seemed to brighten the day- or so Cicero thought as he grinned in return.

"Thank you, soldier." She told him, her voice as strong as it had been weak just few minutes before.

"You are welcome, My Lady. Do you have any message you wish me to bring to the general? I must leave soon if I want to catch up with the legion."

"Oh yes. Of course..."

Lucilla clapped her hand and her maid's head appeared from inside the wagon. 

"My lady?"

"Give me a wax tablet- quickly!"

The woman obeyed and Lucilla immersed herself in writing.

When Cicero galloped away, a few minutes later he carried with him a message that said:

Maximus,

Thank you for soothing my worries. I will now go to Rome and prepare Her for your arrival, for I am certain you will succeed. The gods spared you in Germania and in the arena and I am certain they did so because they knew you were and are too important for Rome. They will be at your side this time, and they won't fail you.

As for other matters, the memory of our night burns bright inside my mind and heart. Return soon, beloved, and we will have many others.

Lucilla.

EPILOGUE - Three Months Later

Night had just fallen over Rome, and the large Palace on the Palatine Hill was silent, its occupants already asleep after another day spent in frantic activities. There had been so many things to do in order to prepare the enormous building to receive its new master.

Rooms had to be cleaned and aired. The fences and trees in the garden had to trimmed. Commodus' statues had to be removed. Draperies bearing the Eagle of Rome had to hang on columns and walls. The large winter triclinium had to be readied for the greatest banquet it would have hosted in years. Food had to be delivered and prepared.

In the end, everything had been done in time, and now the Palace was getting a few hours of well-deserved rest before being thrown again in confusion the following day.

But not everyone was sleeping.

Alone in her bedroom, Lucilla was sitting in front of her toilette table, brushing her long, honey-blond curls with slow, methodical strokes.

She was tired from all the organizing and supervisory jobs she'd had to do in the last days, and from the worries she'd had as her constant companions for the past three months, but still she was too excited to sleep.

Maximus would come home the next day and, gods be willing, nobody would ever separate them again. And he would not return as a private citizen, as he had once said to Gracchus, but as the Protector of Rome her father had wished him to be.

It had been the Senate to decree it, forty days before, when an urgent meeting had been summoned after a messenger had brought the news Commodus had been killed. Not in a battle against the Germans, but executed as his own father's murderer, and for being a traitor of Rome.

The author of the message and of Commodus' demise, had been General Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North under Marcus Aurelius, reputed dead by many, but now again in control of the fifteen legions spread from Dacia, to Pannonia, to Germania, to Belgica.

The Senate had trembled upon hearing the news and prepared to hand the imperial crown to the General, in the attempt to avoid a civil war that might have ruined an Empire already prostrate by Commodus' negligent administration.

But to the assembly's utter stupor, the General had also sent word he was ready to renounce to all his power at the Senate's command. He would retire to private life in his lands in Hispania and they would not hear his name again.

Lucilla had attended all the meetings following the dispatches' arrival. And witnessed how, to her amazement, considering how he had reacted in Baiae Senator Gracchus and his party had convinced the rest of the Senate to confirm Maximus' powers and to appoint him as Protector of Rome, as per Marcus Aurelius' will.

Lucilla had given her approval and support to that course of action, but when they had been alone, she had asked Gracchus why he had changed his mind. He had explained to her that Maximus had proved to be a loyal, honourable man, and a strong, respected leader- just what was needed to avoid some legion commanders who could rebel or certain senators who might get strange ideas in their minds.

She could not have but agreed with his reasons, although she had doubted Maximus would be happy about it. But she had been sure he would accept it for the good of Rome and had vowed to help him in every way she could.

As predicted, Maximus had accepted the new office and after a month spent campaigning in Germania, defeating the tribes several times and reorganizing the defences along the border, he marched back to Italia. He and the Felix Legions III and VII would make their triumphal entry into Rome the next day and Lucilla could not help but wish time would pass faster. She longed so much to see him again, to kiss him again...

At the mere thought of being in Maximus' arms, she grinned like an excited child at her mirror reflection, but then sobered.

"It is better you calm down," an inner voice whispered to her. "Tomorrow will be a long day, full of official encounters and public celebrations. It will be highly improbable you and Maximus may find time to be together in private during the day. As for the night..." Lucilla sighed. The celebration banquet would go on for hours, and all the eyes would be pointed on Maximus and on her too, and she knew it would not be prudent to make their relationship public. At least, not so soon.

Still brushing her hair, she sighed a second time. It would be better if she resigned herself to sleep alone for some time more.

Suddenly the silence of the room was broken by a noise, but it was so low she was not able to place it. Lucilla looked around, trying to understand what it had been and when it was not repeated, she dismissed it as a trick of her tired mind. Perhaps she should really try to sleep, after all.

She put down the brush and stood up and made a step toward her bed when she heard the noise again. Louder. It came from the door leading to the hidden passageway the slaves used to move around without being noticed as they carried out their chores. Somebody was knocking on it.

A little more than surprised, but also very curious, Lucilla walked to the door.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's me, My Lady. Diadumenian."

She frowned. What did her secretary want at such late hour? She wondered as she unbolted the door. 

"What-?" Lucilla never came to complete the line.

Diadumenian was not alone.

There was another man at his side.

Maximus.

Lucilla stared incredulous as he thanked Diadumenian for his help and stepped inside her room, while her secretary saluted her with a bow and retreated along the corridor.

Maximus closed the door, then walked in front of her.

He was dressed very simply, with a tunic befitting more a servant than Rome's master, and dark brown cloak thrown over his broad shoulders. He looked well, fit and tanned, and Lucilla felt her knees shake at his proximity.

He was back.

Swallowing hard and regaining a bit of her composure, she whispered. "Maximus...how can you be here?"

He smiled at her. "This morning, after we raised the camp outside the walls, I sent one of my men here with a message for Diadumenian. I asked him to meet me near the gates at sunset. He smuggled me inside together with the merchants carts' coming from outside Rome."

"Diadumenian has known all the day you were going to here this evening and did not tell me anything?" Lucilla a bit hurt her secretary had not informed her of such a news.

"I told him to keep silent," Maximus replied, stepping closer to her. "I was not completely sure I would be able to be here, and I did not want to give you a false hope." His eyes darkened. "It is so good to be with you again. I could not bear to spend this night at the camp, knowing you were so near and yet so distant." His hand rose to caress her cheek and Lucilla trapped his calloused fingers against her skin with her own hand. Maximus smiled again. "I can stay only few hours, for I will to return to the camp at dawn. But at least we will be able to be together and alone for a while, something I am not sure will be possible tomorrow." He dropped his hand and looked at her in a strange way...as if he was afraid she might not like the idea.

And in that moment Lucilla understood how much this strong, noble man, this skilled, formidable warrior needed someone to love and to be loved by in return. How he too had been alone for most of his life even if, like her, he had been surrounded by people: an army for him, a court for her.

Lucilla smiled brightly at Maximus vowing to herself neither of them would ever be alone again, and threw herself in his arms, raining his face with kisses to show him, with absolute evidence, how happy she was to see him again.

Maximus laughed softly at her enthusiasm, then cupped her face in his broad palms and raised it so they could look into each other's eyes as he bent his head and he kissed her. Deeply and passionately, putting into it all of his love.

Then Maximus bent, swept Lucilla up in his arms and, as she hugged his neck and kissed his jaws, walked to her bed, not wanting to waste a single moment of that night.