Eponina's shod hooves made no sound as she carried me through a part of the forest I had yet to explore.  Against orders to stay close to the fort and not venture out alone, I had decided I needed time by myself to think, and went for a hunt.  Lupa crept through the undergrowth quietly, sometimes visible, at others her presence was noticeable only by the slightest rustle of leaves as she went after prey smaller than that which I sought.  I did not worry after her; I knew she would be ready to assist me when I found the boar I was looking for.  Maximus loved wild pig and he would get it- brought down, prepared, and served with my own hands. 

There is an excitement, an eerie thrill associated with tracking boar that is not present with stag because of the nature of the beast.  Already my breathing was harder, my senses tuned to the shift of the wind that would bring the smell of the animal to my nostrils, the tensing of my horse's muscles as the path rolled by under her feet.  Every chirp of a bird and beat of my heart was accounted for and separated from all other sounds as my mind prepared itself to meet the boar that I knew was somewhere close by.  From the corner of my eye I saw Lupa creep up to me, barely touching the ground with the pads of her large paws as she stalked beside us.  Her keen nose had picked up its thick, acrid stench before either my mount or I had.

Eponina's eyes rolled in fear and I gripped the thick spear shaft I held tighter, until its smooth rounded form was imprinted into my hand and it became an extension of my arm.  I heard it at the same I saw it, and Lupa's warning bark was lost among the screaming of my horse and the squeals of the vicious boar as he charged my frightened mare.  I wheeled her out of the way of the yellowed tusks that would have ripped her belly open, and Lupa leapt on its back, tearing at the hump, and skittered away when it turned to her, narrowly escaping being gored.  Bringing Eponina back around, I attacked the boar from the rear, slicing a haunch open with the spear so that its attention would be back on me and not my companion.  Again it drove at the horse and me, and I waited until it was upon us, almost hypnotized by the tiny eyes that seemed to glow red in its fury and the saliva that flew from the wicked curved weapons that sprouted from either side of its jaw.  The horse turned and I launched myself from the saddle, driving my spear down between the fatty shoulder blades into its great heart, using every bit of strength I had to kill it. 

Lupa whined when the animal moved, and I realized that instead of a dead boar a man lay beneath me, huge and dark.  Warily I stood, turning him over with my boot, and stared into the face of Marius Titus Livius.  Calling for the dog, I ran for my horse, only to find my ankle in the clawed grip of my adversary then I was falling and being dragged toward Livius.  I could not reach for my dagger because my arms would not move.  I clutched at the roots of nearby trees helplessly, and when I opened my mouth to scream for Lupa, no sound came out.  Other shadow figures stepped out from the trees, taking my arms and legs and covered my head with a hood.  The last thing I felt before I faded to blackness was my body being draped over my own horse's back, and all I could hear was the barking and snarling of Maximus' dog.

Cassandra was holding Lupa by the collar, preventing her from leaping at the man outside our tent while she spoke with him.   I listened for a moment and realized the other person was Catavignus, and groaned inwardly.  I had slept long and hard and probably past our appointed hour.

As our time in Vindobona drew to a close, Maximus kept me busy running messages to and from arriving officers to those leaving for new posts, and from himself to his selected company of Felix officers and legionnaires that would travel with us to Eire. Sometimes my entire day was spent traversing the camp looking for certain individuals and waiting for replies.  When not occupied with Maximus' business with his troops, I was busy with matters concerning his belongings, sorting out those that were most precious to him and arranging for them to be packed and shipped to our destination. 

This day had been filled with seeing patients, mostly newly arrived battalions, and ensuring their bills of clean health before they were allowed to serve at Vindobona.  The biggest worry we faced was the threat of plague, which not even my own people's medicine could cure.  New cases found were quickly quarantined and carriers were let go from service.  It could never be completely contained and sometimes we missed someone, but for the most part, Phillip and the rest of the medical staff kept the problem to a minimum.  It was tiring work, checking over each soldier.  When Phillip had declared a break for us, I went to lie down, exhausted and irritable.  The symptoms of impending menstrual cycle had not disappeared when I met Catavignus at the entrance to my tent, relieving Cassandra of the need to try and make excuses for why I was not readily available.   The dream I had been woken from did not help matters; I replayed it in my mind, looking for hidden signs from the gods who apparently decided that whether or not I was angry, they were going to invade my dreams again. 

Catavignus eyed the still-growling dog uncertainly.  "She's never behaved like that before."  

I patted her, soothing her, but kept a firm hold on her collar.  "You don't usually come when I'm sleeping." He nodded understanding.

"Can you come for a walk with me?  I want to talk with you."

"Let's talk here.  It's getting dark, and the evening meal will be served soon."

"Too many ears, too many eyes.  It'd only be for a little while anyway.  After tonight you'll be too busy to see me, and I have things to say to you."  His sky-blue eyes bored into me, begging me to acquiesce. 

"I'll have to get the general's permission."

"Then let's get it."  He led the way to Justinius' quarters where Maximus was sure to be.  His long legs closed the distance quickly and I had a hard time keeping up.  I had never seen him so purposeful, and something bordering on apprehension tightened my already strung nerves.  I calmed myself, reprimanding my over-active imagination that he had had to put up with Maximus' presence during most of our lessons and my reluctance to let him get any closer.  What possible harm could a stroll and saying goodbye be?

Justinius knew me well and wasted no time in small talk, only fetched his uncle at a shake of my head when Catavignus asked for my master.   Maximus' eyes were on me only when the Gaul explained his wish to have my company. 

"That's up to Boudicca."  

"Thank you, sir."  Catavignus was barely given a nod in acknowledgement.  

To me Maximus said, and though I knew the slight shift in demeanor was lost to the other man's ears, I heard the honey that laced his rumble, "Don't be gone too long.  You have other obligations waiting for your attention."  I hoped he caught the reassurance in my parting glance that I would be all right.

We lay back on the bank, watching the sky blacken and the stars prick holes in the curtain of it, saying nothing.  The torches along the wall were lit and the guard changed before Catavignus propped himself on one elbow to look down at me. 

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Aye."  I was counting stars.  One thousand, nine hundred and seventy-one...

"What did you do before General Maximus bought you?"  Exhaling a breath of air, I turned from my counting to gaze at him steadily.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I hear things about you."

"From whom?"   In my mind I began trying to recall all who might know who I was, aside from Maximus or Justinius, who would never relay my life's tales to anyone.  It was possible, I supposed, that someone had attended the games on leave from duty and had seen me fight there. 

"From different people.  I'm just curious to know if what I have heard is true."  

"Let's start with what you have heard."  While my mind raced I kept a calm exterior, as though addressing rumors only.  

"Some say you were a gladiator." 

"They are right.  I was."  He whistled, apparently impressed.  

"Were you good?"  

"I only lost one fight.  My last.  Two bears."

He thought on that.  Then he smiled again.  "What did you do before that?"  I might not have known much about men regarding love, but I was no fool when something was amiss in their dealings with me.  I had read enough enemy eyes to know that I was being tricked.  It was gone, almost before it sparked, but I did not mistake the flash of knowledge in the eyes that now seemed only curious and kind.

"Is it important?"  Unlike Catavignus, I knew how to keep secrets out of my mind while I was being hunted.  Only one predator had ever been able to find my thoughts when I hid them deep inside the caverns of my brain, and that man was my shelter if I could get to him.  

"I would really like to know."  His hand moved to my arm, stroking and intent on lulling me into a false sense of security with him.  I sat up and faced him, willing any hint of thought or feeling to die in my eyes and nothing to show in my features as I had all those years before I became the property of Maximus.   Inside every muscle tightened, ready to push me up and away if I needed to run. 

"That was many years ago and I want to forget it.  It was a bad time for me."  Still playing the game, I led his questions, seeking my own answers to that which I suspected.

"What was so bad that you can't tell me?  Do you think I would care for you less?"  

"You might."  You almost certainly would hate me, I finished to myself.  

"Tell me.   I need to know." Again I sighed and laid a hand against his cheek, a worried sweetheart doing her best to soften the blow of harsh news.  

"I served in the Temple of Aphrodite," I mumbled, head bowed as though I were ashamed, "as a dedicated prostitute."  He was caught in my trap.  There was no more need to pretend.

"I was there once, with a cousin of mine."  I knew the rest of the story before he recounted it to me.  "We were young.  Drunk.  Decided it was a good day to serve the goddess.  But the girl he chose didn't agree and decided the gods of death needed a sacrifice instead.  Protested it was an accident and that he tried to rape her when her master came.  By rights, her life should have been forfeit.  She was nothing, nobody.  A whore. But they believed her, and my uncle lost an eye as well as his boy.  We never knew what happened to the bitch until my uncle saw her fighting in Rome..." His voice trailed away, and I did feel sorrow, but it was clear to me what had been going on for weeks, months, since Maximus brought the VII Gemina with us from Hispania. 

Catavignus' face was not among those that my memory conjured from that fateful day in the temple, for my eyes had been on Livius as he grabbed for my hair and tried to cut my throat to exact his revenge for the dead boy that lay in my assigned room.  But he knew mine, and his luck had been to serve under Macrinus, who would in turn, come under Maximus' command for a short while.  Catavignus had gone with us to Lugdunum, and like any other man in that group with family or ties in the city, had gone straight to Livius with news of what was in his grasp.  Any fool could guess at their plan.  I was known as an interpreter, and thus he would pretend to need my assistance for a desired promotion.   Then if it could be helped, he would try to convince me he had fallen in love with me and beg me to stay or arrange for me to return when Maximus set me free.  But what would he do when and if I agreed?  Had my master in Athens not motioned for his guards to seize me and whisk me away to a safe place, I might have killed Livius.  Catavignus, despite his height and build, was certainly no match for me.  He was not seasoned nor did he have my training that I knew of. 

While I quietly berated myself for my stupidity when I had plenty of warning from my gods, Tigris, and Maximus to trust only the general, I did not let him see that his words had any effect.  And it would do no good to try to apologize or explain.  So I said nothing.  I ran.

Had it been a clear shot from the bank to the gates, I could have outdistanced him easily.  But the bank sloped steeply downward, and he caught me in a flying tackle before I could reach the top and be seen by the night guard stationed along the walls.  His hand tangled through my braid, and he dragged me by my hair backward like the clawed hand of my dream.  But different from my dream, my limbs were not frozen and I turned and kicked at him, connecting with his nose, breaking it with the strength of my legs.  He roared in pain and rage, but held fast to my locks, trying to gain a hold that would break my neck if he pulled hard enough.  I dug my heels into the ground, pushing away, and was rewarded with a fist rammed into my abdomen, knocking the wind out of me.  Catavignus loomed over me and slammed his closed knuckles into my nose to pay me back damage for damage.  Shaking my head, I tried to clear it of the stars that flashed, and felt myself being pulled by my hair over dried grass and rocks and roots turned up by the hooves of patrolling cavalry and the sandals of the infantry.  At the river's edge, he yanked me to my feet, and I stumbled beside him through the shallow depths, trying to take inventory of all muscles and bones in my face and regain my senses through the pain.  I swung my arms as I moved, and every one brought my hand nearer the long dagger that Maximus had so presciently given me to protect myself with.  If I could slip it free without Catavignus seeing, I could slam it into his kidney and not stop twisting until the organ was out of the hole and stuck on the end of my blade. 

I achieved my goal so far as I got the knife loose.  The arrow that lodged itself in my shoulder diverted the flash of polished iron aimed at his innards and sent the knife splashing into the water.  Fire spread from the arrow's tip through every nerve in my arm, and I heard a man's chuckle and the thud of at least twenty sets of hooves as riders appeared from the trees ahead. 

"It's too bad he wants her dead.  She'd make a fine addition to his collection."  The owner of the voice peered down at me amused.  "A shame.  Just don't kill her yet, son.  Leave that for your uncle."  He leaned back in his saddle and motioned two other riders, one of whom led an extra animal. 

"Secure her. Don't give her any way to escape.  And don't damage her anymore than she is.  My brother wants to have a little fun with her before she goes to the Otherworld."

While hands lifted me onto the horse, I looked at none of my assailants, and offered no free movement of my body.  All I did was wonder when Maximus would realize that I was not somewhere in camp and if he would go looking for me, and in what condition he would find me if he did.  They tied me so that I would not fall off my mount, binding my hands to the saddle so that someone could lead my horse.  But before the two that had been assigned to the task could complete it, my foot shot out, catching one under the chin, grotesquely bending his head so far back that it cracked and he crumpled.  I had sufficiently caught the party off guard that I had time to at least make a desperate dash for freedom.   

Another arrow brought the horse under me down, though, and Catavignus pulled me away from it, disregarding the pain in my shoulder from the first. "Bitch," he snarled as he stopped for a breath that I knew he could barely take through his crushed nostrils.  "If he didn't want you alive, I'd rip your head off right now."  Through my own blood and pain I simply sneered at him then was dragged into the woods, where I was draped over another man's horse and bound wrist to ankle and trussed so tightly I was afraid I would have missing extremities by the time we reached our destination. 

How long Livius' men rode I could not tell, as lifting my head caused me great pain in my neck and nose.  At times I tried just to cough back the blood and mucus that threatened to choke me.  I was losing blood from the arrow wound and worried about infection.  It would be gangrenous before ever we left Germania, at the pace they were going, unworried that they might be followed, given the head start by Catavignus' ploy.  I knew at times I was unconscious, because I could not remember those moments and did not recognize the paths we took or the directions we rode.  I doubted it would matter anyway, as I would probably never have another opportunity to get loose. 

Near morning, when the world is at its most still, I caught the slight rustle of the shrubbery.  My heart sang with joy when a flash of grizzled, dark fur loped by, silent and deadly. Those crickets hardy enough to live through the autumn chill were not chirping, and the winter birds were not singing their morning song yet when we stopped for a rest.  Catavignus' father washed and cared for his son's face as best he could, and gave him water and food.   Then he came and looked at me and let me sip a bit of the liquid too, enough to keep me from becoming dehydrated.  He moved on, laughing to the men with him that the gods finally smiled on the family Livius.  But it seemed as though Maximus' gods had a different plan. 

From the bushes beyond, Lupa flung herself toward me, catching the man who tended me in the throat and he dropped, clutching at the dog, trying to push her off even as she opened his throat and bit through his jugular.  Then all was a flurry of men grunting and the clash of weapons as mounted soldiers burst from the forest and engaged the red cloaked warriors sent to take me to my enemy.  Justinius slid a blade through my bindings and gently pulled me from the back of the horse, rubbing my wrists.

"Can you fight?"  When I nodded he helped me up and cut the dead man's sword free.  "Might as well use this." He grinned and ran back to the fray.  I followed, but I had only one target in mind.  Justinius was swiping at one man with his sword, and slammed his elbow into the solar plexus of another that tried to take him from behind. Rufio, still astride his horse, cut down three men and took an arrow to the thigh before he bore down on the archer, slicing his head off neatly as he galloped by.  Valerius was unseated by one of the others and clapped me on the back when I stabbed his opponent through the ribs, bursting his heart.  I smiled a little and asked if he was all right.  I hardly heard the answer before I was stalking Catavignus through the bodies of his fallen companions and the handful of rescuers that Maximus had brought with him to reclaim me.  All I wanted was the head of every last member of that family so I would never have to hide or run again. 

Catavignus was no match for Maximus, but his father was worthy enough.  Mars gifted Maximus with power and fury, and for a few seconds I watched the macabre play of straining muscles and dancing weapons in an awed trance, as the two circled and feinted at one another, looking for weaknesses to take advantage of.  Each grunt was the ominous roll of thunder; every strike of sword on sword was a hammer blow upon the anvil of the gods' will.  The victor would be their chosen to carry on their purpose, whatever that might be. 

But if Catavignus sought any god's favor, he was going to have to get it in another lifetime.  This one was over for him.  I yanked his arm painfully behind his back, pushing it up between his shoulder blades and pulled him away from the battle with Maximus.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Maximus block the slash aimed at his mid-section then my focus was completely on Catavignus.  Shoving him to the ground, I knelt over him, knees holding his outstretched arms while he stared sullenly up at me with one eye, daring me to deliver the fatal finish to his life.  I obliged, cutting the tendons and muscles of his arms with the tip of my sword. 

He did not die swiftly.  My mother, warrior and healer in heart and mind, had taught me to make a kill quick, for the ending of life was only necessary to rid yourself of your enemies and to save those you love.  Up to that morning I had lived by that principle, even in the arena.  The few occasions I took life after, I never repeated what I did that day.  All my rage, frustration, pain, fear- every vile emotion that beleaguered me that had not had an outlet I took out on the one who betrayed me.  I was still hacking on his carcass, muttering hateful phrases and snatches of thought with meaning only to me, when Maximus' strong arms pinned my hands from behind, wresting the sword from my grip.

"Boudicca!  He was dead the first time.  Let it be."  He crooned to me, holding my spent, blood-soaked body against him while I wept.   When the monstrous dementia was nothing but a shudder that overtook me from time to time, Maximus turned me in his hands to examine my face and shoulder. 

"You know, if you're going to run away, you could at least act like you want to."  I tried to grin, but every movement sent pain to the bridge of my nose where Catavignus had broken it.  So lost in fury had I been that I had paid no mind to my wounds, and now they screamed in protest against the exertion I had put them through.  Maximus decided I was in no shape to ride alone and helped me up. 

He gave me no quarter to argue about riding in front of him all the way back to Vindobona, but within sight of the others I walked straight and proud to his mount.  I was given a wide berth when I passed them to stand beside Scato.  What I must have looked like to them, and what they were thinking, I could only imagine.

Rufio surveyed the scattered bodies in the light afforded by the dawn.  Someone had pulled the arrow out of his leg and stanched the blood-flow with strips of a red cloak.  I would not let anyone touch the one in my arm; it was too deep. "Should we get to burying them?  What about Decurion Catavignus?"

"Let them rot," was Maximus' directive.  "As for Catavignus, bring what's left of him, and we'll simply explain that while he and Boadicea were out gathering some of the plants she needed, they were set upon by brigands intent on taking her and selling her.  Catavignus tried to save her and was murdered for his trouble.  It's not terribly far from the truth.  Agreed?"  He looked around at the men that had come with him, Justinius, Rufio, Valerius, and the rest for any disagreement.  There was none; their loyalty was to their general and friend and to me.  For appearance's sake, we had to take the mutilated body back and give it a soldier's burial.  For appearance's sake I had to attend, to keep up the façade that I mourned my student.  But it would be an empty ceremony devoid of any pity or feeling from me.  

Secretly I was grateful for Maximus' insistence that I go back with him. I was so very tired, and sleeping would be difficult if I were simply allowed do so on a horse's back while led.  My shoulder ached and burned and breathing was hard, so I lay my head back against the pillow of the general's strong shoulder all the way back to the fort.  The cadence of his gelding's stride soothed me into a quiet rest that I spent in the warmth of the arms that cradled me.