"How do you feel, sir?" He heard the voice somewhere in his brain before he registered the words. As his eyes flickered open, he found himself staring into blue ones and then the surrounding mist cleared and he realised it was a girl. A very pretty blonde who was leaning over him and shining a light into his eyes.

"Anyone in?" She smiled and he relaxed. Australian. Somehow that felt reassuring and he wasn't sure why. Carried along on some cloud of painkiller, muscle relaxants and sedatives, he was incapable of much rational thought. He tried to answer the woman, but there was something in his mouth and all he managed was a mumbled groan. It made her laugh even more.

"Well, you're a talkative one, aren't you, mate? That's how I like my men. Gorgeous and intellectually challenged. Makes life a lot simpler if they don't even try to think with their brains..."

Her comment annoyed him and he wondered vaguely if that was the point. It was on the tip of his tongue to retort when he suddenly knew he was going to vomit.

"Awww...fu-ckkkkk!" She was ready with a bowl, disconnected what he realized was a tube in his throat and held his head as he threw up. The effort was humiliating and also extremely painful and left him gasping for air as she rested him back on the pillows. She cleared out the pipe, reconnected and he felt his breathing stabilize. He breathed in and out slowly in relief.

"That's it, love...get it up...you'll feel better now...just relax....breathe....nothing to worry about. It's a strange feeling at first. Don't panic..." she wiped his face gently with a cool cloth that smelt of antiseptic and then held his head up whilst she fed him a few sips of warm water from a cup with a spout like a baby used. It probably had a teddy motif on it, he thought wryly.

The simple act drained him and he was glad to rest back again and allow his spinning brain to adjust to his whereabouts when she returned him to the pillow.

"Where....where am I?" he stuttered.

"Military hospital. Sydney," she answered as she checked the drip and took his temperature. He watched her work and let his mind settle. He realized that he was safe and must have had an operation. Something to do with his chest. He remembered that. And it still hurt.

"What happened...?" he mumbled. The nurse sat down by him and took his hand in hers. 

"It'll come back. You're just coming down from anaesthesia. Give yourself a chance, Sir. You were on active duty and sustained an injury to your chest. It resulted in a cracked rib and a punctured lung. We had to inflate your lung and do some minor repair. It isn't serious, although it hurts like shit. Hang on in there and we'll fill you full of painkillers. Have a rest. You deserve it. Word is that you have had a bad time...they speak of you in hushed tones here. Who are you, Captain Australia?" she grinned.

He managed a smile. "Wife calls me that, he muttered."

"I'll bet..." she added cheekily.

"How long...this?" he indicated the tube.

"Depends. Doctor will let you know. Couple of days...maybe a week tops." He moaned. She patted his hand. "It will soon pass. You need the rest anyway. You've got your cracked rib, very bad bruising and they had to operate, so you have stitches...."

"Fuck! 'nother scar ..." he closed his eyes and waited while the swimming feeling passed.

"Yeah...noticed them....you are a road map, aren't you? But this is small. Never notice it once the hair grows back..."

He eyed her up. Where's the scar? My dick?"

She snorted. "Not much wrong with you if you can still make rude jokes, sunshine...."

He smiled and closed his eyes, again slipping back to sleep. Nurse Keri Flanagan watched him as his breathing steadied and his heart rate dropped. She knew the type. He was the kind of man who hated to be incapacitated and did not make a very ideal patient. But then she was an army nurse and more than used to that attitude. He could try to be aggressive or even a charmer but it would cut no ice with her. As she stood up and cast a final check over his readings, she found herself staring at him again. What a handsome guy! Lucky wife, she thought, and then checked his file. Wonder why she's not here?

"Mum? I'm bored!" Annie sat down at the side of the bed as she finished washing Liam down and changing his pyjamas. She smoothed down the bed covers and tucked his remote in by him, placing him a drawing pad, colours and a book in easy reach . His left arm was in a heavy cast and his face was a total mess, swollen, bruised and misshapen.

"I know, sweetie. Zoe'll be home from school soon. She's bringing Bea for supper. They'll cheer you up."

"I don't want cheering up. I want to stop lying in bed. Can I get up? Please! I hate it here..."

Annie shrugged. It was four days and he was on the mend. She supposed he could get up and about but somehow she was scared of anything happening to him. It was irrational, she knew, but the incident had left her clinging to him in a way that perturbed her. She had almost lost him, or so it seemed when she thought of those few horrific seconds when he had attacked that man and had been hit with the butt of a rifle. The crunch and the thud his small body had made as he had hit the ground still echoed in her head.

In the immediate aftermath, Annie had felt numb. They had gone to the hospital and Liam had been kept in. His break was a bad one and needed resetting under anaesthetic. That had upset her. It would set him back in his sports and she knew how that would be a trial for him. His face was the next concern. Initially they had all feared the worst and it appeared that his cheek was smashed and that there might even be damage to his eye which had been completely closed. It had been one trauma too far for Annie who had refused all question of leaving him to get a good sleep herself and had spent the night propped up, holding his hand when he had come out of surgery.

Liam had been out most of the time and was unaware of anything - for that she had been more than grateful. Zoe had no injuries although she was in shock and Annie persuaded the hospital staff to allow the children to be placed in a room for two patients. She could not send her daughter back even with Dino and Mel. It was as if she had to keep all three of them together as much for her own peace of mind as theirs.

Zoe had received a sedative and had soon been deeply asleep, her thumb in her mouth and her favourite teddy in her arms; Dino had gone back to the apartment and brought something for each of the children to cuddle from their bedrooms back home. It amazed her how he thought of these things and then she realised that was what they both did in their job. It wasn't just about prancing around in camos and acting tough. Most of their time they were dealing with highly volatile, emotional and traumatized people and these were the methods they had acquired to help them deal with tragedy.

But the news on the whole had been better than expected. Although Liam had received a very severe impact to his cheekbone, the damage was superficial and X-rays showed no break. The surgeon said this was not unusual in children whose facial bone structure was still soft and contained growth gaps. It was rare for actual breakages to occur. However, the swelling was severe and he would be left with a haematoma, a blood filled sac under the skin on the point of impact which could only be dispersed by further impact. As they could not whack him in the face, then time would have to take its course; the contusion would reduce somewhat but until he sustained an injury- say a sports collision or a fight - then he would retain some level of swelling. Annie had groaned despite her relief. Her beautiful son, possibly marked for life. It seemed so unfair.

Liam was unconcerned about his face and even seemed rather fascinated by the injury. His teacher had brought a few children with a card from his class and a gift; the other boys had been seriously impressed and that had delighted him. The full story of what had happened was kept from the other kids but they knew that Liam had intervened when his mother was being attacked and this had made him quite the hero. Neither Zoe nor Liam though wished to discuss the events in any real detail; a child psychologist was working with them and making some inroads on their ability to deal with the memories. It was this psychologist who had recommended that Zoe return to normal life and school as soon as possible - the child needed a disciplined environment to help her rebuild her confidence or she might begin to withdraw and find it harder to get back on board at a later date.

Annie still hadn't spoken to Terry. 

Dino had been in touch, or so he said, and had informed her that Terry was safe but out of reach for a few days and did not yet know what had happened. Whatever the reason for the kidnap, it was still not known and they would have to wait for his reappearance to find out more. The dead and captured men were apparently hired and did not seem to have any political or eastern affiliations. Most were mercenaries, ex- soldiers, and had been contacted through a third party. But that was all they were prepared to say. They might have been protecting someone - but it was unlikely. It made more sense to accept they did not know any more than who their targets were and that they should hold them until they were given orders. Dino was still worried, and security around the family had further increased.

Nights were hard. Annie had moved a futon into Liam's room and she slept there with Zoe at nights - as much as she slept at all. The doctor had prescribed sleeping pills but she never took them. She was too afraid that something might happen and she would not have her wits about her. But she had discovered something very surprising about herself. This experience had kick started her self confidence and she was full of anger and a desire to fight back. No more could anyone make her grovel - even if she was afraid. She had faced the worst and come to terms with it. You lived or you died. It was as simple as that. She imagined it was how Terry had faced a lot of the things he had known in his life. Deal - don't waste time thinking 'What if?'

He had been awake for quite some time and was lying thinking when Nurse Flanagan came in. She thought he was asleep so he said nothing while she adjusted his painkilling drip and took a look at his dressing. He suddenly realised he was uncomfortable and it took him a while to work out why.

"I need to piss..." he whispered and his voice surprised him. It was husky and soft; he hadn't realized that he had spoken the words out loud.

"Oh...you're awake are you, Rip?"

"Rip?" He realised the tube was gone. It had been there every time he had woken up before but he couldn't remember how long that had been.

"...Van Winkle...? The fairy tale? Sort of male Sleeping Beauty...don't worry, I'm teasing you....so you need a wee, do you. Good sign. Your liquid absorption is fine now..."

"Now?"

"You've had a fever for the past few days. Something you picked up over there. But don't worry...we checked for dengue, malaria, yellow fever...the works...this was just a nonspecific bacterial. You responded to the antibiotics but you sweated out a lot so we've been pouring the fluids into you. First time you've pee'd properly in days..."

"I haven't pee'd yet..." he reminded her, annoyed by her incessant prattle. His bladder was painful and his dick sore. He wondered if he had had a catheter. Jesus had there been any part of his body that someone hadn't stuck a needle in?

A vivid memory of Hsueh and a needle flashed across his mind. His memory was clearing. It didn't improve his mood.

"Right you are, mate...coming up..." she pulled back his covers and he saw he was dressed in a hospital gown. His mood deteriorated further as he realised what she was about to do. "Give me the bottle and get out..." he muttered.

The nurse laughed. "No chance, mate. You can't even sit up, never mind point and aim - and I am not changing these sheets again. Do you know how many of us it takes to lift you?" Mentally, he groaned at the thought of what she had been doing for him for days. Not much he could do to stop her now.

She deftly helped him to relieve himself, coaxing him when he found it difficult to relax; he felt like a little boy, but was simply too weak to care. As she removed the bottle and straightened his gown, replacing the sheet neatly, he attempted a grin. "Beats a handshake any day. My name's Terry Thorne...I think holding my dick puts us on first name terms, love...and you are...?"

"Busy. Call me Nurse. I'll be back later and we'll try you on some food," but she winked at him as she went into the bathroom to dispose of the surprisingly little amount of fluid he had passed. But he felt thirsty and hungry now she mentioned it. He supposed that was a good sign. On her way out he took a good look at her. Nice looking girl. Tall and athletic. Golden skin. Shoulder length, straight blonde hair pinned back. Good legs. Nice arse even in her white scrubs. Could be worst. At least his libido was still intact even if the rest of him was shot.

The door swung open and he attempted another comment. "I think I want to wee again, Nurse...any chance of another go round?"

"Don't tempt me, Colonel. Mention down there again and I might start remembering you need an enema...." he looked up and saw another woman entirely; a very large formidable middle-aged Sister. His face must have shown his surprise. "Good afternoon, sir....that shut you up now, didn't it? A word of warning, love. I eat men like you for breakfast so keep your dirty mind to yourself and your hands off my nurses. Or you'll be wrassling with me not crocs, son...name's Sister Coleman....and if you make one crack about my colour, Sir, it could be your last...."

Terry grinned and the large imposing woman did too. "Wouldn't dream of it, love. Now...tell me...when can I get out of this bed and use the dunny like a decent bloke? I have my pride...."

She sat down on the chair by him and rubbed her hands together. "You're crook. We don't exactly love holding willies and wiping bums in here, you know, however cute you are, and yes, I'll give you that much....you are one fine looking bloke. Here's the deal... we will have you up and about as soon as we can. Can't say fairer than that, can I? You're bloody heavy anyway. 'Bout time you stopped lying there letting little nurses like me slip a disc lifting ya...."

"You could hoist Mike Tyson over your head, love, no problem..." he giggled. She swatted him. 

"You just set yourself back one day, sport. I shave you tomorrow now. Let's hope I don't decide to use my cutthroat, hey....?" With that she lifted her rather bulky frame from the seat and walked to the door , throwing back: "What I love most about this job is that you are all so bloody despo in here that you even check my bum out when I leave...now that is sad...."

"A cushion for the pushin' love...I like my girls big..." Terry laughed as she swung jauntily through the door. Aussie women. Nothing like them!

It was after eleven when Mel heard the key in the door and he walked in flinging down his case and ripping at his jacket and tie, everything ending up on the chair in the hallway. "What time do you call this?" she muttered from the couch as she rested down the book she had been reading.

"Sorry, honey...everything OK?" Dino asked as he poured himself a Scotch and came to sit beside her. Mel sat up straight and lent back against the other arm.

"Where have you been until now?"

Her voice was accusing with a hint of triumphalism in it as if she knew that she was going to catch him out. It was a cutting tone that he hadn't heard from her before; he didn't like the implication. "I worked late. Some reports I needed to read through and respond to. Then I called in to see an Annie for an hour or two. She needs the company..."

"Yeah...I kind of thought her name would be somewhere in the mix..." she snapped back.

Dino stared at her. "What's that supposed to mean? Jesus Christ, Mel, you know what went down. She's alone and traumatised, her kids are in shock, she is surrounded by armed guards she doesn't even know...I just went to show her a friendly face...Christ, Mel, we don't even know where Terry is...I can't get any word....I can't even risk telling her...she's too fragile right now."

"Well, why don't you just climb in his fucking bed then next time? A good shag should sort her out...."

His face fell at her comment and she saw the cold anger rising. Slowly he stood up from the chair and walked away from her, throwing down the Scotch. "That was a fucking pathetic thing to say..."

"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it...she's an attractive woman..."

He spun round, his eyes glinting. "What is this about? You accusing me of something? Because if you are, sweetheart, let's have it out in the open. None of your snide little British sarcasm....strikes me that of the two of us you're the one with the hots for a K and R man who isn't your husband....or does my memory play tricks?"

She jumped to her feet, red spots of anger on her cheeks. "That was years ago...I didn't even know you then. How like a man when his behaviour is questioned to throw a woman's own rep in her face!"

"Jesus Christ! My behaviour? What the fuck have I done? The girl needs friends! How many times you been there this week, old friend?"

Mel blushed and looked away. "Nathaniel has a cold. I didn't want to take him out..."

"We have a nanny." His voice was a cool monotone with a slightly mocking note, one eyebrow raised; he stood there watching her, without making a response. "Tell me...why are you angry with me and Annie?"

"You spend more time with her and her kids than you do with me and your own son."

"That is not true."

"When did you last put him to bed? See him awake?"

Dino exhaled slowly. "It's been difficult since it happened...."

"Yes...let's talk about 'it', shall we? About you and the risks you took..."

"Melanie...they nearly died...they could have died..."

"YOU! You could have died! How dare you have put them before us!" The sound of her son's crying cut into the scene; both of them turned to look in the direction of the nursery. "Your son. What would I have told him, hey? This is a picture of your Daddy the hero....but he was killed looking after another man's children! You were obviously not important enough. You want him growing up with some flag in a box as a Dad?"

"Seem to remember Annie once saying something like that.... so remind me...Were you thinking of Terry when you asked him to risk his life saving me? Huh?"

Mel opened her mouth to answer him but his words made too strong an impact. She ran to her son's room and picked him up, cradling him against her shoulder, kissing the pale red-gold fuzz of hair. He was hungry and she sat down on the rocker to feed him, her ears still ringing with Dino's comment. Annie had felt like this. She had raised two babies and loved them as she loved Nathaniel with that wild heart-stopping, indescribable feeling that your children give you. The same urge to protect and wrap them up had driven her actions ever since they were born. Her need for her man went beyond his place in her life as her lover and friend - he was her partner in this adventure of their lives. No wonder she had raged against anything that would take him from her.

Mel sensed rather than saw her husband leaning on the open door, his hands on his hips and his shoulders drooping slightly. He was tired and low and worried and hurt.

"I just....I cannot live like this, Dini...I cannot...not any more...."

"Neither can I." His answer was simple and she wondered what he was trying to say. Was he so angry with her that he wanted to warn her that if she continued to be unreasonable then they wouldn't make it?

But his actions belied all that. Striding over to where she sat, her breast bared, their son suckling unawares, he knelt and placed a hand on her breast, cupping the small warm head. "It's over, Mel. I'm never ever going in the field again. I made a promise to Terry and I will keep it. But after that the only people in this world I will put my life on the line for are you and him. I mean it. Do you believe me?"

She nodded, biting on her lip as tears spilled down her face; he smiled and reached up a hand to wipe them away. "What about the next time Terry gets it in his head to go walkabout?" She asked with a resigned expression.

"Next time...? Next time he's on his own. I have given you my word..."

"Hey, Sis? I need to make a phone call..." Terry and Sister Coleman had formed a wary bond over the past two days; he was on the mend and up and about but constantly over-pushed himself. As she changed his dressings, he had decided to approach her about the main worry that had been on his mind since his mind had started functioning properly again. Annie. She didn't know where he was. He hadn't been debriefed on account of his illness and had been instructed to be incommunicado until he was given the go ahead. She might allow a few days but there was no doubt that she would then start to worry and who knew what might be the conclusion? If she rang the hotel in Kuala Lumpur then they would tell her the truth. Mr. Thorne and his two buddies were dead. How nice for her to hear that from some dick of a hotel receptionist. He was having night sweats just letting that one play in his head.

Then there was the other issue. He was sure that Hsueh's entrapment had been connected to his family and that he was going to be approached or blackmailed about something with their safety on the line. How would that play now he was 'dead'? Frankly he was still struggling to grasp the reason for that whole episode but it was clear that there was something - no one goes to that elaborate set up unless there is a big sting in the pipeline. The thought that she might still be at risk or something had already happened plagued him night and day. How would he even find out?

He had even gone online and looked up The New York Times to see if there had been any mention of his family. Where? In the fucking obituary column? He had been so angry with himself that he had nearly put his fist through the screen.

"Sorry, Colonel. You know you can't. Anything you need to relay, you write it down and we'll make sure it gets sent. But you can't make contact. Orders are very specific... I'm sorry..." Sister Coleman replied firmly.

"It's my wife....I haven't seen her for five months. She hasn't heard from me in ten days. She'd be out of her mind...Jesus, one lousy phone call..."

"Write the message and we'll get it to her."

He groaned. "I need to talk to her...it's complicated..." 

Sister Coleman stood and shook her head. "You know I can't do that. If she receives a call traceable to a military hospital in Sydney...it's all for nothing, Colonel..." She discarded the soiled bandage in the disposal unit and went to sterilise her hands again. His reply was almost inaudible - but not quite.

"If anything happens to them...then everything is for nothing..."

She wondered what he could possibly mean.

"Well, you look brighter....up and about, hey?" Keri Flanagan had been off duty for two days and was pleased to return to a much improved Colonel Thorne. He was standing by the window when she walked in, watching the scene below where some men who were convalescing were playing a gentle game of basketball in the winter sunshine.

"Where've you been?" he mumbled absentmindedly.

"They do give us days off..." she smiled. "Time for your dose....here....your cup of pills and your water. Toss those back, there's a good lad..."

Terry gave her a disapproving side glance. "How old are you?"

She lowered her eyelashes, a little embarrassed by his personal question. "Twenty three."

"Jesus...I have son nearly your age...." he sighed and threw back the tablets, swallowing the water down and grimacing.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning....you called me a 'good lad'. I could be your father. I am sick of being patronised, love." 

Keri shrugged. "I didn't mean to patronise you. Quite the contrary. It's just a way of talking. I'm sorry if it offended you..." He could see that she was upset and thought that she had crossed a line. It wasn't her fault; it was just this damned place.

Shaking his head, he reached a hand out to her and then thought better of it, drawing back. "Not your fault. Just me. I'm down. Hey, tell me what you did on your days off? Got a bloke?"

Keri grinned sheepishly. "Yeah...nothing special but I met this guy a few weeks' back...not that it's any of your business..!."

He laughed. "Neither are my balls but you've seen them often enough recently. Well, I hope you got plenty, love, for the rest of us buggers in here who go without..." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She tutted at his comment. But it relaxed the air.

"Are you missing someone?" She wasn't sure why she asked that personal question. except she sensed something sad about him; there was a look in his liquid pale green eyes that seemed so at odds with his impressive body and dominant personality. It had to be a woman.

"Do I talk in my sleep?" he attempted to bat away the question with a jokey retort. But Keri pushed. She was suddenly sure he needed someone to talk to.

"No...not anything that makes sense anyway or doesn't start with F and end in K...It says in your file that you are married but your wife hasn't even been to see you..."

"She doesn't know I'm here. She's in the States."

"Doesn't know? Why not?"

He frowned. "Classified."

Keri sighed. "That must be hard. You been apart long?"

"Five months."

She sighed. "You've got kids? That son you mentioned?"

Terry shook his head. "No, that's my eldest son. I was married very young... twelve...." he cocked his head on one side at that and she laughed. "No...my second marriage. Two little kids. Girl and a boy. Eight and seven."

Keri's smile widened. "Cute ages. You got some photies?"

At that he gave her a wry look. "I've got nothing. I'm dead....or so the rumour has it. Don't know what the shit they've done with my stuff. I've no passport, phone, money, ID, pictures...not even my fucking wedding ring..." He touched his ring finger as he said it. There was something poignant about his gesture.

"I'm sorry. Will it be long?" she enquired. He shrugged.

"Dunno. Depends on the debrief....look, can I ask you something...a favour...? I have to speak to her. It's really urgent. I can't explain why..."

"Then use a phone. Ask sister to get the orderly..."

"No..." he placed a hand on her arm. "I can't. I'm not allowed. It's...."

"....Classified?" she said to him softly.

He nodded. "I mustn't reveal my ...whereabouts...."

"I'm sorry then..." Keri realized he had been manoeuvring her and that she should now excuse herself and go. But this man was reaching some part of her, partly through his imposing physical presence, partly by the emotional response she felt to his crushing need and partly because she recognized that he was a very experienced manipulator of people. "I have to go...I have work to do..."

He dropped his hand. "Please... this isn't just about me getting my rocks off on a phone with my wife. I have to speak to her. It's a matter of life and death..."

"What?" Keri gasped.

"You have a cell phone?  Does it have GSM? If she gets a call from your phone....you could be a girlfriend. It's a safe call... I'll give you $500 if you'll let me call New York..."

"You haven't got any money!" she retorted but his desperate appeal had touched her. Perhaps he was really concerned - this might be something very serious - or he might be up to no good. Her career would be on the line if she messed up here.

"I can get money. I'm good for it. Please?" he insisted. It was hard to deny him.

She reached her hand into the pocket of her trousers and fingered her cell phone nervously. Then she made her decision. "You could just offer me the price of the call. Easy enough for me to check call records..." And she handed it to him. "I'll be back in ten minutes. That's your lot...." Keri walked out of the door, closing it behind her.

Terry went into the bathroom and locked the door. Sitting at the open window for the reception, he tapped out the numbers, his hand shaking slightly. Please be there!

It rang for a while and then was picked up. He breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of her voice.

"Hello?" She sounded breathy and high pitched, nervous and unsure. He checked his watch. It was late there almost midnight. Perhaps she had been asleep.

"It's me, love."

There was a silence and then a sob. He swallowed hard, aware what she must have been going through at his lack of contact.

"You still there?"

"Yes....Terry....oh God...!"

"Hey...hey...what's the matter?" She was crying now, helplessly weeping into the receiver, unable to say a single word. He carried on talking softly, calming her down, gentling her, tender words but nothing to make her more affected than she already was.

At last she seemed composed enough to speak and he caught her first hesitant words. "Where are you? I didn't know where you were...I was so frightened..."

"I'm OK. I'm in Sydney..."

"Sydney?" Annie gasped.

"Look....I'm in hospital but I'm fine...just a few stitches...you're not to worry.... it's all over now..."

He heard her sharp intake of breath, imagined her eyes widening and her face pale. He longed to touch her, a longing so bad that it hurt his chest and he again felt that sensation of compression and suffocation that his injury had caused - but this time it was emotion that was wounding him.

"I'm coming over. Tomorrow I get a flight. Bring the kids....Which hospital...?"

"No...no, Annie. Steady on... you can't come here..."

"WHAT? What do you mean, I can't come there...? You just said it was over...."

"Annie...I can't explain, I shouldn't even be calling you....it's still classified...."

"WHAT? CLASSIFIED? What the fuck? I am your wife. I have a right to be with you! You said it was over...well, is it...or isn't it? I mean...can you just let me know the next time the kids and I are going to be at risk because of your little war games...? I would find that quite helpful - or is that classified too?"

"What are you talking about? Annie, has something happened?" Annie paused. She couldn't tell him everything. It wasn't fair. Not if he was sick and far away.

"There was something. Some people took us. It was kidnap. Luckily someone saw it, followed and called Dino with the location. We were only held a few hours..."

"You were taken...who? What did they do? Is everyone all right? Don't keep anything from me, I need to know..."

"We are fine. Just shocked. Scared. Liam has a broken arm and a bruised face..."

"WHAT? WHY? What did they do to him?" he was shouting now, unaware that he had raised his voice in panic.

"He tried to intervene and they knocked him over. He's OK. Really. Don't worry." But he was worrying. She was not a good enough liar to conceal that this was barely a half truth. His brain raced to try and work out the likely scenario, or gather clues from her vague comments.

"Who were they?"

"We don't know but they implied this was about you. They said something about you having to play ball..." He inwardly groaned. Whoever it was would have learned soon enough that he was 'dead'. If Dino hadn't been on the spot...Christ Almighty they would have been just useless cargo. His mouth went dry at how near they came. He sank his head into the palm of his hand.

"The kids...Zoe, Liam....you sure they're alright? Please, honey...talk to me...I need you to be honest with me..."

"So I can't say Top fucking Secret back to you, hey? I told you they were doing as well as can be expected. Terry...it wasn't a very nice experience. It shouldn't happen to little children. I don't think it should have happened to me either. But...as long as you restore world peace then, small price to pay, isn't it?"

"Annie...that's unfair and you know it..." he broke into a fit of coughing and couldn't continue speaking.

"Why are you coughing?" she asked.

"I've got a cough," he replied.

"You just can't help yourself, can you? Even now. That is so typical of you. What fucking harm, would it be for you just to tell me what is wrong with you? And don't dare say I don't want to worry you, because that is a load of fucking cobblers. I am worried and the less I know the more I am worried. I tell you this...I can't take much more of these spy games. I have put up with it for YEARS but now it is affecting my children... and...if it comes to a choice...well, you better not put me in the situation where I have to make that choice. I will not see any threat to my children every again...do you hear me?" She was almost hysterical, somewhere between fear and anger and breakdown. Just hearing his voice had been the last bastion of her control.

"OUR children..." he muttered.

He heard her laugh a sharp and bitter sound. "So you remember that now do you? When it suits, hey? Oh God...this is not what I meant to say... but how would you feel if...? I  know what it's like...I will not have that happen to my daughter..."

Her disjointed comments broken by sobs made him sit up and listen. What was she talking about? Happen again? I know what it's like? He realized straight away that this was a reference to the past. To those terrible events of long ago. What had happened to her? Had Zoe been threatened with rape? He slithered to the floor of the bathroom and found himself curling up in a ball, despite the pain from his injuries, and he rocked back and forth, trying to stem the wave of revulsion that was sweeping over him.

"Maybe you need to see someone, baby..."

"SEE SOMEONE? I need to see YOU! MY FUCKING HUSBAND! Are you crazy? Don't you realize how I feel?"

"Annie...this is not my fault. What those men did is not my fault....."

"It is your fault. Like last time. Every time. Every bad thing that has ever happened to me...."

"Crap. I'm not taking that. I'm just doing my job..."

"Your job is to raise two children and be my husband but that seems to be the one thing that is beyond you..."

"Is there a point in all this? Are you trying to tell me something? Because if you are I would appreciate it if you would just tell me straight...." he countered angrily.

She didn't reply although he knew she was listening. 

"I'm waiting, Annie." 

He heard her breathe out slowly. "I don't know the answer, Terry. But I can't take anymore. I cannot live like this, with armed guards, traumatised children and psychologists - I know that much. I need to think... work it all out..."

He closed his eyes. "I need to finish this call. I'll ring again when I can. I'm sorry you feel that. Christ, Annie, I didn't ever want any harm to come to you all. That's why I took you all out to the States. I thought it would keep you safe..."

"Safer. But risk was always an element in this, wasn't it? You always knew that. You took the chance that you might be placing us in jeopardy. I don't know if I really understood what that might mean at the time." She spoke softly, as if she had just realised something herself. He felt like his world was tumbling down. For once in his life he just wanted to run.

"I'll call you. Soon. Take care...Annie...I... I love you..." He found the words so hard to say as if her arrows had cut his emotions out from under him and made them seem so shallow and worthless. As if he had no right to pretend that was how he felt if he couldn't keep them safe.

"I know, Terry" she almost whispered. "...that's what's so sad about all this. I love you, too, but my children need me more..."

He heard her replace the phone and then dead air hissed between them. This chance to call her had been his dream for days; how had it gone so badly wrong?

What was the true cost of this operation on their lives?

Dragging himself to his feet, he staggered back to his bed, suddenly feeling exhausted and drained. Reaching into the drawer at the side, he pulled out a packet of cigarettes and a box of matches. He had teased them out of one of the orderlies; they had watched a footy match together and he had bet successfully on the score. So far he had resisted actually smoking one - but no longer.

Pulling a chair to the window, he lit up and smoked quietly, staring out onto the lawns. He was unsure when he had last felt so alone in the world. Even in the bad old days, before he had met her, he wondered if he had ever felt as desolate as this. In that stage of his life, he had not even known how far down he had sunk. It was infinitely worse now when he had had it all and was having to contemplate that he just might have watched it all being swept away.

"You done with my phone...? Hey, where did you get those from? If she smells smoke, she will kill you, mate..." Keri had popped her head round the door but at the sight of him she strode over and tried to drag the cigarette from his mouth; he held her hand roughly and kept her at a distance.

"Well, I'm already fucking dead...so too fucking bad..." he muttered as he took a drag. She looked down at him and realized that he looked shocking, like a different man than the one who had begged the phone from her only fifteen minutes ago. It was obvious the telephone call had gone badly. She could see the over-bright sheen of tears in his eyes and a dejected hang-dog set to his broad shoulders. It reminded her of a little boy trying to be brave.

She pulled up a chair and sat by him. "What's the matter, sport?" Her pretty young face looked up in earnest at him.

He grinned sadly and shook his head. "Nothing, love."

"Don't believe you! Sometimes you need to talk. Not everything in life belongs in a file marked highly confidential, you know? You called your wife. Bad news?" she tried an opener.

He shrugged. Keri found herself, not for the first time, looking at him, not as a patient but as a man. He was dressed in the usual striped pyjamas that were issued to all- but had refused the jacket, just wearing the pale blue singlet. She wasn't sure if she had ever seen any man look quite so right in the outfit. His hair was unruly. Probably needed cutting by his standards but she liked its strong curl and the healthy chestnut sheen. He hadn't shaved yet that day - for the past couple of days he had been doing it himself - and his stubble was strong and added a sexy shading to his rugged face. Even the way he held a cigarette in his thick fingers sent a frisson of response through her until it came to rest in the warmth of her sex. He made her conscience of her femininity, he made her writhe on her seat with the tingle of sexual stimulus. And yet he wasn't even looking at her - just staring away into the distance. What a guy.

"No...not bad news. Not good news either, but not bad...."

"Well, that's as clear as mud, love. Glad I asked." Her chirpy put down made him crack a smile; he turned his eyes on her and weighed her up thoughtfully.

"My wife is very angry with me. She has a point. I'm afraid she may leave me. Take my children away. And this time she won't come back."

His sudden disclosure stunned the young nurse; of all men, she had not imagined that he would open up to her about his private life.

"Why? What have you done?" She couldn't help but gasp out the question.

He held out his hands. "This...'saving the world as we know it' shit...or whatever the fuck I've been doing...Everything has a cost, love. It just depends where you make the cut..."

"You did your duty! How is that your fault!" Keri exclaimed.

"Duty? Ah well...there's a word, hey? It depends on your definition of the word, Keri. I have spent half my adult life on some crusade or other to safeguard the lives of people I barely know. But my family? What about them? Why are they not my crusade? Why are they never my duty? They tell soldiers that they are giving up their lives for a noble cause.  Let me tell you something I have learned. There is no cause more noble than those who love you...All the rest ...everything they tell you....is just a lie...they always die for nothing..." His voice broke and he stopped, struggling against tears, the muscles of his face rigid with the effort. It made her fill up herself to see such a strong man brought to this state, even if she wasn't sure she really understood what he meant.

Keri took his hand in hers and leaned against him, rubbing his back gently. His pain was too deep for him to dare to cry. The sucker punch had left him more breathless than a punctured lung and in some kind of limbo.

"Are you going to be all right, Sir?" she whispered, wondering what kind of woman could reduce a man to this. But it was obvious. The one he loves.

"Me? All right?" He sniffed and gave her a smile, running his hand back through his hair. "I'm always all right...no worries, hey? Your phone....it's in the bathroom.  I appreciate it...Let me know what I owe you?"

It was clear he was dismissing her. She knew he wanted to be alone. Quietly she rose and retrieved her cell and at the same time picked up the packet of cigarettes that was lying on the bed. Placing them down beside him on the window sill, she hesitated and then bent down to kiss his forehead tenderly. "Give her a chance, hey? She's probably just so lonely and lost too..." He stroked her face with the tip of his forefinger and smiled.

"Good onya, mate," he whispered to her as she slipped away.

Kyle Hewitt and Will Anders followed the direction of the nurse and strode out onto the veranda. Thorne was sitting pensively staring off across the gardens, his legs up on the rail and a cigarette in his mouth.

"He's not supposed to be smoking. Don't give him anymore," the young blonde nurse stated firmly. "Colonel? You have some visitors..."

His head shot round at that but, when he realised who they were, his face, that had been tense and drawn, relaxed into a grin. "Bloody hell...who let you two out?"

They walked over and he rose to his feet. He seemed fine; they both wondered if he was just toughing it out. Shaking hands and slapping each other on the back, they pulled up chairs and settled down. Anders flipped him over a couple of packs of cigarettes. "Get rid of them before Blondie gets back."

Terry muttered: "Too right. And she's the nice one. You should see Sister...I wouldn't tackle her with Kevlar...." They laughed and carried on in that vein, Terry entertaining them with tales of his injuries  and his humiliation at the hands of the staff. Nurse Flanagan returned carrying a tray with some tea and biscuits. She had taken Terry firmly under her wing. Her devoted attention was not lost on the others.

As soon as she had left them alone, Kyle pulled a hip flask out of his pocket and passed it over. 

"That's my boy," Terry smirked and added a healthy splash to each of the mugs. "Cheers!"

They tipped and drank back, suddenly falling quiet. "Wonder what Costello's up to now?" None of them ventured an answer but they raised their mugs again in a silent tribute to his courage.

"How was the debrief?" Terry asked.

"I'd rather the enemy got me..." Anders muttered bitterly. "Of course we're not supposed to be here. You're still under some suspicion. They obviously think you're either St. George or the Fucking Dragon - not sure they've made their minds up yet..."

Terry sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "What you got for me then?"

Anders set his attaché case on the small coffee table and retrieved a dossier. "They don't know I had a copy. If they think I showed this to you, we're in the shits, mate."

He nodded and lit up another cigarette, breaking into a coughing fit and holding his chest for a moment before steadying and then opening the file. Minutes passed while he read quickly through the documents and took out the revealing photographs, examining each carefully. His face showed no sign of emotion. Anders looked at Hewitt and they exchanged a questioning glance. Thorne was not usually so impassive.

"You did a good job here. You might pass your Intelligence Badge after all, boys...Jesus, I set myself up good and proper, didn't I?" They shrugged and looked away, unwilling to answer him, but knowing he was right. The mistakes he had made were elementary and they still had no idea why he had faltered at this hurdle. She must have been some woman.

"It's so fucking obvious now." He suddenly spoke. The other two men were not so sure they agreed. 

"How about explaining your theory then, mate?" Will suggested.

Terry leaned back on the chair and looked up at the blue sky with clouds scudding across at speed; it was a blustery day, typical June weather. "Miss Lim...Jenna Low...is the mistress of Edward Tan, one of the richest men in the world. As you so rightly point out in here, his fortune was made in a very diversified portfolio of investments- construction, logging, industrial, import and export, high technology...you mention it, and he will have a finger in it somewhere. But at the core, his empire was founded on gunrunning in the sixties. Supplied to every communist outfit in Asia.  Now to every right wing fundamentalist group. He's not politically aligned, as you can see. He might do his best to hide it beneath a shitload of legitimate business but he is one of the supremos of the Triads. Cosa Nostra Chinese-style."

Terry lifted up the hip flask and took a belt, grimacing as the fiery liquid burned its way down his throat. "A man like Tan controls every dirty business in the East - and all over the southern hemisphere  and beyond- prostitution, porn, drugs, pirates and fakes, illegal gambling, slavery...and, of course, weapons. You know most of the money from the sex industry in Oz goes into the pockets of these Asian tycoons? That the results of English soccer matches are often controlled by betting syndicates owned by these men? Forget Tony Soprano. These are the real modern gangsters."

"So? What did that have to do with us?' Kyle asked.

Will groaned. "Kyle - use your fucking head. We just pimped on his territory. Moved in on his patch. We were looking at terrorists with a warped cause. Tan is just a businessman protecting his interests. We were lucky they didn't just take a cleaver to us the first week..."

Terry shook his head. "He's smarter than that. We were offering what he couldn't get hold of...or at least our contacts were better. What he wanted was to force us... me... to work with them, or rather to hand over the whole show to him..."

"How?"

"My family. He planned to kidnap them and hold them as the ransom to make me ditch you guys and work through him. He already knew Razali didn't give a shit where the stuff came from. They were old business partners. That's what they are doing together on the shots you got up at the casino. Careless of Hseuh to be seen with him at that time, but they were so sure we were looking in the wrong direction that they didn't imagine we knew about the link to the Highlands base...."

"Jesus...you think Tan knew we were undercover?"

"No...I don't think he discussed us with Razali. He would have kept that quiet and just used me."

"What makes you think they were going to use your wife and kids?" Anders asked, unsure how Terry had made that connection.

"Because they did. Only I was already gone by the time it happened. My family were kidnapped in New York ...."

The two men stared at him. "Fucking hell...! What happened?"

"Dino...he got them out. Before Tan notified them that the deal was off. And that the target was already dead. Imagine what the next step would have been if he had got to them in time?"

Hewitt rested his head in his hands; Anders leapt up and began pacing about. "You  .... how much of this did you know at the time..?"

Terry shrugged. "Very little. But I knew Lim had been after details of my family. I knew that they were at risk. I just didn't know what the fuck it was about. Until now."

Kyle let out a long breath. "So...this Tan thinks that we are just new boys in town muscling on his deal. He could waste us but instead he decides to use us. Sends in 'Mata Hari' who gets the boss tit over arse..." at that Terry grunted but did not interrupt. "....she finds the story on his family...next thing Tan the Man plans to snatch the wife and kids and get old Thornie to dump his mates and play ball....an offer he can't refuse, hey? Jesus...we just picked the wrong street to work? We were on his patch?" Terry nodded. The penny had dropped at last.

"Well, this puts you in the clear with the brass at least," Anders observed.

"If I tell them..."

"What the fuck's that supposed to mean? Why wouldn't you tell them?" Kyle asked.

Terry took another swig of the flask. "You said you had a man on her still. Where is she?"

"Oh man....oh no...you don't go there....that is way out of line....let it go ..." Anders protested.

"Where?"

"We can't help you on this..."

"WHERE?"

The two men looked at each other. "Terry....if we let you go after her...it breaks the cover...Costello's life would be at risk...the whole fucking operation...if they know it was a set up....that you aren't dead...."

Terry laughed coldly. "Only if she lives to tell the tale, mate..."

"You gonna kill her?"

He stared at them blankly. His eyes looked devoid of any emotion. "She tried to take my world. So I'm gonna take hers..."