"Mum...does Dad know?" Zoe was sitting at the kitchen table doing her homework while her mother prepared supper. Liam was sprawled in front of the screen playing some game on his X-box.

"Em...he knows something happened but not really the details. We thought it better to keep it from him when he is away. He'll only worry."

She nodded and went on colouring in with her tongue hanging out of her mouth in concentration. Then she stopped and looked up. "Mum...in Dad's job, does he do what Uncle Dino did for us?"

Annie observed her thoughtfully before replying. "Well, he does negotiate kidnaps..."

"But sometimes does he have to save them?"

"I suppose so." Annie was not sure where this was leading and if the little girl was simply going to transfer her worries now onto her father's safety.

"I was watching the news. There are a lot of things about hostages. Sometimes they get executed," she said it in a matter of fact way but Annie suspected that this was not an idle question. "...That means killed," she added unnecessarily.

"I know. You mustn't think about that, sweetie. It is very rare and it won't happen again..."

"...I was just thinking that I'm proud of Daddy doing things like that. I want him to help people. I didn't really understand before. Is it dangerous what he does?"

Annie sat down by her and took her hand. "Sometimes it is dangerous but he tries to make it as safe as he can. Don't worry about him. He won't take risks." Even as she said it the awful conversation they had had the night before was still ringing in her head. She felt like a hypocrite for trying to make out she was some patient wife when she had attacked him so cruelly for no real reason. Just to scream out her anger and fear at the only person who was strong enough to take it. The pity was that he had no one to be that strong for him - and God knows he must need it now.

"I think Liam's like Dad. Like how he just tried to protect us without thinking. I keep seeing what he did, Mum. Liam told me he shouldn't have done it. He thinks he made it worse. Mum, I think he feels guilty for all the trouble he caused..."

"What? When did he say that?" Annie asked, astonished at her daughter's revelation. 

She shrugged. "He said it a few times to me. He won't say it to you 'cos he knows you'll be upset. But I don't think he should take the blame. Maybe if he hadn't done it then Uncle Dino wouldn't have been able to get to us..."

Annie slipped an arm round her. "He did nothing wrong. His instinct was to stop anyone hurting us. He is brave and fearless, like his Daddy. He must not feel guilty - and nor must you. We did nothing wrong. I will not have any of you blaming yourselves for what those horrible men tried to do to us!"

Zoe snuggled closer and reached up to twist the stud in her mother's ear; it was a habit she had had as a baby and still occasionally did it now for comfort. "I just get upset when I think of Liam lying there thinking he let us down. He gets on my nerves, Mum, but I love him and he loves us, doesn't he?"

"Of course he does. Boys always get on your nerves but it doesn't mean you don't love each other."

"Does Dad get on your nerves, Mum?"

Annie grinned. "Every day. But that's half the fun. If we were all the same, what fun would life be?"

Zoe giggled and pulled away, her confessional moment already forgotten with that quicksilver facility that children possess. Annie watched her for a while as she carried on with her Maths. Out of the mouths of babies, indeed. Even a child could see what she couldn't.

Leaving the kitchen, she joined Liam on the couch and put an arm around his neck. He looked up quizzically and paused his game. "What?" he asked inelegantly.

"Liam, it wasn't your fault. What you did was reckless but in the end your instinct was right. You are brave and loving and I will not have you thinking that you have to carry the can for everything that goes wrong."

"I should have listened to Uncle Dino..."

"Maybe...but you didn't, and you saved us all. I think that's a pretty fair swap, kiddo."

He brushed hair from his forehead and screwed up his face in a frown. "Next time...I'm gonna think more...."

"Next time? You gonna make a habit of this heroic stuff?" Annie pinched his tummy and he wriggled away, laughing.

"I mean when I join the Regiment. I can't just go on doing daft things then, can I? They might court martial me." Liam was deadly serious. She could imagine Terry having said some idle threat to him at some point and Liam, of course, had taken everything his dad said to heart.

"You think they'll appreciate those bloody antics in the Regiment? They'll have you cashiered, mate."  Liam listened to his father as if he were the oracle himself. And then promptly arsed about some more. But Annie realized that this was the first time any of his imaginary future careers had ever got passed the fantasy stage.  He was thinking now and realizing that everything had its downside. Annie wasn't sure whether to be proud or afraid for him. But she knew one thing already. This little boy was not aiming for the easy option in life any more than his father had before him. How did she feel about that? Her son as a soldier?

Could anyone really stop a person being what they were inside? Would anybody want to? 

Annie pulled him close and kissed his forehead; he squirmed away and continued with his game. Was Terry very much different from this boy, all alone and blamed for everything even the things that had never been his fault? Her head felt as though it would burst from all the conflicting elements. She just wished he was home and she could wrap him up like her son. And tell him she was sorry for her cruel words.

He closed the door softly behind him and made his way silently to the service stairs. It was late and quiet. He had been tucked in and given his sedative which he had later flushed down the toilet. Escaping from this place would be one of the easier tasks he had ever done.

Like all hospitals, military or not, this was an open access building with many exits and points for fire evacuation and a variety of entrances. It took him merely seconds to slip out of a doorway onto the grassy lawns. Skirting the building until he was at the rear, he crouched down, grunting at the pain, and ran for the cover of the trees - but he needn't have worried. No one had remarked anything; most of the lights were off all over the building.

The bag of clothes was where they had said it would be, behind the fifth bush along on the left of the rear ambulance entrance. He stripped and dressed quickly; it was a chilly windy night and he shivered in the cold; his blood had thinned out after four months in the tropics. Rolling up the pyjamas, he replaced them in the rucksack and stowed them for later.

Sitting on a bench, he laced up the boots they had provided and donned the black beanie. Reaching into the pocket of the black padded jacket, he found a cell phone and pressed the one number on its memory. Madam Whiplash was the entry. He sniggered at their cheek.

"I want to be tied up and used as a sex toy," he stated when the caller answered.

"Fuck off, ya bastard, that visual made me feel ill," Hewitt responded. "Like seeing me Dad on the job..."

Terry laughed. "Come and get me then..."

"We're outside. You good for the wall?" Terry cast an eye over the ten foot perimeter wall. 

"Yeah... don't put me out to grass just yet..." He took a run at it; it was harder work than he had anticipated but the rough stone of the old wall gave him some grip and he pulled himself up, scraping his hand badly in the bargain and cursing liberally. But once at the top, he was deftly over and dropped almost noiselessly to the pavement below. The car was about two hundred yards down the street, its lights doused. As soon as he landed, he heard the engine fire and it moved towards him.

Drawing level, the passenger door was thrown open and he jumped in; the car accelerated sharply and they shot up the road smoothly. Anders snapped on the lights when they were round the corner and away. "Not bad. Only four minutes behind schedule..."

"I had to drink my cocoa first," Terry grinned. "OK...let's see what we've got...." Hewitt opened a large hold-all and offloaded the weaponry. Terry stuck the sheath knife into the loop of his jeans, another down the side of his right boot, a small Beretta into his inside pocket, a Browning in his belt - and he filled his deep pockets with rounds of ammo. Finally Hewitt tossed across the sub-machine gun over. Terry caught it and grimaced. "You planning on World War Three? This is supposed to be Softly-Softly."

"Use a silencer....this place is like a fucking arsenal. Tan has a private army on that estate..."

He exhaled sharply and took the plan of the grounds that Hewitt passed across, shining a pin light on it to read. For the rest of the journey they discussed the plan of action in detail; Hewitt fitted him with an earpiece as they choreographed their approach.

"Keep it simple. We haven't had time for anything elaborate and we mustn't get side tracked. I want one thing. Her. Nothing else. No one else to be touched unless they leave us no choice. This is Ninjas, mate. In and out and they never felt a thing. Spirited away in the dark. And they never suspect it was us. Which they won't. Because we are dead. And they have more enemies than you could shake a stick at. How fortunate for us, hey?"

The estate was in the north of the city across the bridge by Neutral Bay up the small inlet of Shell Cove. It had its own jetty and the water route was by far the easiest way to approach; the perimeter fence to the rest of the grounds was electrified and heavily guarded. Parking the car at Mosman, they found the boat secured and made their way round Cremorne Point into the cove, hugging the water front properties as they proceeded. These waters were shark infested and there was no messing about with wet suits and swimming over - they had to come in close. When they were in sight of the target, they cut the engines and used paddles, hard work against the night current and the strong wind. By the time they had pulled themselves onto rocks at the southern edge of Tan's land they were sweating and Terry, in particular needed a rest.

Ashore, they crept along to the fence that separated the property from its neighbour; like all the rest, it was protected by an electric current. Hewitt sat cross-legged and produced a small electronic gadget from his rucksack, working quickly at his task but it still took a few minutes; Terry was grateful for the rest. When the small  light changed from red to green, Kyle gave the go ahead to hit the wire and Anders used powerful  cutting tools to snap it open in seconds; the three men were through and away.

Like wraiths, they ran on almost silent feet towards the boat house and then up the narrow stone steps towards the main grounds. There was always one major advantage to high technology security; it made guards lazy. They only had to listen for an alarm or watch a monitor and the dull monotony of endless days and nights of that soon lulled them into a false sense of impenetrability. A professional could get into any place. If you had the skill and the equipment.

At the fringe of the garden that flanked the house, they skirted through trees, past the beautiful pool shimmering jade under the deep night sky and the ethereal lights that shone in its marble depths, past the Balinese style water garden, through a flagged Mediterranean-style patio, they were quickly at the chosen point of entry. French windows. Always easy. A quick manoeuvre with a crow bar and they were inside and striding noiselessly across an elegant lounge to the hallway beyond. The house was in silence and there were no visible lights. The men flipped down their night sight goggles and took the stairs, scanning all sides as swiftly as they covered the ground.

In the upper gallery there was a number of doorways; the architect plan they had with them pointed out the master bedroom lying at the end of a small corridor of its own. Terry shook his head and pointed out a nearby room, one of the next largest with its own balcony over the pool.  He and Anders took that door whilst Hewitt sank down to his haunches and took up watch outside, his weapon clasped close to his body and a knife resting on the floor at his side.

Meanwhile the other two listened, counted to three, moved and entered, flattening back against the wall on either sides of the door. Regulating their breathing and forcing themselves to calm down even as adrenalin was surging through them, they waited while their eyes adjusted to the darkened room. An adjoining door was open, apparently connecting the master bedroom, a fact that the original plans had not revealed - but that merely confirmed Terry's hunch. This was the room where the mistress slept. He raised his hand in an OK sign and then pointed to Anders to check out the occupancy of the master bedroom. His partner disappeared through that door.

Slowly Terry covered the distance between himself and the bed until he was standing above the occupant. A cold smile spread across his face. Hsueh - Jenna Low- was fast asleep, her veil of silken hair spread out on the pillow around her head. This time she was in his power. This time he was the one who would play games.

Easing two strands of silken rope from his left pocket, he wrapped it around his leather-gloved hand before moving into position. Then he struck with lightening speed, hand over her mouth slapping on a gag which he secured as he rolled her over and then straddling her with his left leg while he tied her arms firmly with his right. The woman stiffened and struggled but she didn't have a chance against his strength or the surprise attack. Before she could do more, he had her feet bound and was attaching her tethered wrists to the bed head.

Her eyes were wide with fear but she still bucked and strained fiercely. He sat back and removed the goggles and then the hat. He turned his face to her and she stopped fighting. Her eyes widened some more and then he saw the real shudder of fear as her brain kicked in. It gave him a responding sense of pleasure and satisfaction to see her at his mercy and in abject fear.

"Hello, love. Looks like the roles are reversed this time, hey? Guess my Yang was in charge after all?"

"So how's it going?" Dino walked along, accompanying Annie as she dropped the children at school; she had rung him early in the morning and asked to speak to him.

"Terry called me," she replied giving him a meaningful glance. "Don't worry it was only a white lie. I don't blame you..." She had guessed he had lied about his contact with Terry after the rescue; Terry had known nothing about what had gone down.

"I'm so sorry, Annie...I just couldn't admit I didn't know where he was..." Dino looked away and grimaced. 

"I understand. I really do. It's okay. Really," she smiled and took his hand, giving it a squeeze; he grinned sheepishly. 

"So...what's he up to?" Dino queried, playing down his interest.

"He's in Sydney. But it's all hush hush, the usual crap. I think the worst is over. I think, whatever he's been doing, that he's out of it now."

Dino chewed that over, understanding there was a wealth of detail under all that. "You don't sound exactly overjoyed. What's the matter?"

Annie shrugged. 

"How about a coffee? My treat?" he asked.

Seated with a latte and an espresso, Dino coaxed it out of her. "I gave him a bollocking, Dino. I don't know why I did. I just heard his voice and that was it. Everything came out; all kinds of shit I didn't mean it. He's in hospital, for God's sake! And you can bet he's a lot more injured than the 'couple of stitches' crap he gave me. How could I have turned on him like that, as though it was all his fault? I'm such a cow, Dino. You have no idea...I just hate myself, but...."

"Hey...give yourself a break, kid. He's got broad shoulders; he'll live. What happened to you all was a serious psychological trauma. You've been holding it together for the little ones. Stands to reason that when Terry shows up you off load on to the only one you can. Nothing new there."

"But I accused him of ruining our lives. I even implied I was going to take the kids away..."

"Oh boy...force ten hurricane, hey?" he laughed. "You and Mel took the same classes?"

"Huh?" 

"Mel said much the same to me. About my tendency to risk my life unnecessarily. And the consequences for my family of this unfortunate tendency of mine."

Annie groaned. "So, it's not just me then! Unreasonable hysterical women..."

He chuckled. "No...you both have a point. I've been thinking a lot about that lately. Strikes me that when a man and woman come together and make a child their outlook changes. She looks inwards to protect her child and man and he looks outward to keep the world safe for them. Sometimes I guess they won't always be singing from the same sheet. But they are heading for the same goal. They just approach it from a different way round. That's men and women for you. He'll be back soon and you can straighten everything out then. He loves you. You and the kids are his life. It's been a hard year, darlin', for both of you. Come on now, cheer up...play your cards right and I'll even buy you a double chocolate chip muffin. That's better, you need to laugh more. By the way, Mel's coming round today when she's managed to load the car with the tons of equipment required to attend to a two month old baby for a couple of hours. She's got some serious bridge building to do. Go easy on her, hey?"

"You bet. And while I've got you here, I never really said thank you for what you did. So, thank you. But don't ever do anything like that again - you hear?"

They both laughed. It occurred to them that it was easier sometimes to talk to a friend than your partner. That was the bizarre thing about love - it clouded every issue. It made irrational responses where good sense and clear thinking should prevail. Not that it absolved anyone from blame for the things said in anger and the damage they might do.

He sat down on the bed and looked at the woman, running his hand down her body in a threateningly sexual manner, one that suggested power and how close he might be to abusing it. "I'm gonna take this gag off. You make one sound that annoys me and it will be your last. You got that?"

Jenna nodded and he freed her mouth. She dropped her head back onto the pillow and observed him as he reached into his belt and pulled out a gun, placing it to her throat. "Want me to tell you my fantasy now?" he whispered coldly.

"If you use a gun, you'll never get out of here alive." She faced him up and he found her courage oddly arousing. But he wanted to show her that she would be frightened. He could make her so afraid she would be begging him to let her live. Pulling out his knife, changing his gun to the left hand, he pointed the tip of the blade against her breast outlined in the pale silk negligee she wore. "I could cut you so you'd take hours to die. I could mutilate that pretty face. Or if I choose, I could strangle you with my bare hands. Put out your eyes. Fuck you with the handle of my blade...whatever I want to do. Yin and Yang, hey?" He stroked the blade down, slicing through the fabric of her gown, leaving her naked.

She laughed, a mocking sound. "How very predictable you are! And I actually thought at one time that you were something different from other men. So you are big and strong and know how to wave a gun around and frighten women with a knife? How impressive. Is that what control means to you? I presume you came here to kill me. I bested you and now I must pay. Then do it - and stop posturing like a teenage hoodlum. If you have the courage actually to go through with it, that is. But remember this. We were both just doing a job. What makes me so much worse than you?"

He grunted with annoyance and grabbed her by the neck, compressing her windpipe so that she was struggling for breath. "Just doing a fucking job? That all my wife and babies mean to you? A fucking job?" He threw her away from him in disgust

"You sell weapons to fanatics!" she gulped at air. "How many wives and babies do you think are going to die because of your trade? But that doesn't seem to give you sleepless nights, hey? No...that's just business, isn't it? I made it personal. A woman dared to beat you at your own game. You made mistake after mistake, led by your arrogance and your cock, but now it's all my fault? Of course, it is. When men fuck up then they must look for a woman to blame. Cherchez la femme. So, you have found her. Then do your worst," She spat out the challenge to him, here eyes blazing with defiant anger.

Her reaction caught him off base. "Do you know what happened to my family?" he hissed at her, his rage rising again.

"No, I do not. I simply found the information I had been sent in to retrieve and that was the extent of my involvement. I know nothing about what was planned..."

"So you thought your boyfriend was going to treat them to an all expenses paid holiday, did you? Don't play that game with me, love. There was only going to be one outcome. What else did you FUCKING THINK was going to happen?" He shouted into her ear.

"Who's making a noise now? You're losing it, Terry! You know that, don't you? I knew that he wanted to force you to hand over your action to him. I guessed the family was the bait. I'm not a fool. But you put their lives at risk. You were playing a dangerous game, Mr. Thorne, and you knew the risks. I'm not the reason it all went wrong. You are. You fucked up with me and then you unfortunately got 'killed' and so your family lost their buying power...what was that all about anyway? Had us all convinced; we thought you were really dead. Got us off your back...Clever..."

"What do you think happened to my family?" he asked her again, curious now.

"I imagine that once the news of your death was announced they had outlived their usefulness. That they were killed. I'm sorry. It's very unfortunate - but you messed with wrong man. I am not at fault. You are. And all the people like you who think that you have the right to do whatever you wish but resent it when someone else with the same philosophy comes up against you. Especially when they are proved better at it than you."

"They're not dead." He smiled coldly. "They were rescued."

Jenna shrugged. "Then you have no gripe. You got away with it all. Or you almost did. But now you have revealed your survival. Isn't that a further mistake? When Tan finds out he will have you killed. Your kids and wife too, probably. Why are you doing this?"

He sat quietly and stared at the composure of the woman before him as she stared into the possible face of her own death. It made him feel physically ill, and then he wondered if that was the fact that his medication was wearing off and he was beginning to feel the effects. "I have never met any woman as cold blooded as you in my life. Don't you have any feelings? You some kind of freak? What kind of woman wipes her hand of the deaths of innocent people?"

"I'm a professional. Like you. You never killed anyone, Terry? Wiped your hands of it afterwards?"

"There's a lot you don't know about me..."

"Likewise."

They stared at each other.

"You told me that you loved me," he muttered.

"You did not tell me one thing that was true. You lied, Terry. One lie after another to me - and to yourself - because you wanted to play sex games with an exotic Chinese woman - for kicks. My guess is you still do. You hard now, Terry? Just thinking about it? How long's it been for you? Was the last time with me? You remember that night? Want some more honey before it's too late? Only this time, you can be the man...hurt me, beat me up...stick a knife in me....woo, that turn you on, too?" She laughed softly. "I can't do a thing to stop you. But that's not your style at all, is it? Oh no, you like to tell yourself that you are a different kind of man than that. You had to justify your own infidelity and your lies by cloaking it in the guise of a romantic affair. I just played to your lead, Terry. It was so fucking easy. A man like you has done most things so I wasn't gonna catch you by the usual game- instead, I showed you a few new tricks - enough even for a jaded shit like you to find something to grab him. And now you are back to punish me because I made a fool of you. And how do you do it? By turning our games on its head. You take my exploration of the delicate balance between the libidos of men and women to threaten to rape me with a knife? Does that restore your sense of self? Make you feel less like a..."

His eyes blinked a few times and she saw his jaw twitch, recognising he had reached a point where he was not prepared to listen anymore. Had she taken a gamble and pushed him too far, or was her belief in his innate honour inaccurate? She did not believe he had been what he said he was and had always suspected that he was some kind of covert deep cover masquerading as a gun runner. No man as fine as he could have lived that double life and justified it to himself. He was even struggling with the guilt of adultery. Jenna did not think he would actually harm her. That he would even risk whatever operation he was involved in rather than abuse his power. But tonight he was beyond any level she had ever seen him before. There was a dangerous aura about him and she wondered if the threat to his family had taken him a step too far. Time would only tell - but she knew one thing for sure. If he walked away from this, he was safe from her. She had carried out the job she had been paid for and owed Tan nothing more. In fact she rather liked the idea of knowingly thwarting his plans. Terry Thorne's secrets were safe with her. It was the only thing she would ever be able to do to prove her love for him had not been a lie. Even if he never knew.

"So, he's coming back this mystery man of yours, is he?" Charis asked. She had been a regular companion since the thing they still referred to cryptically as "IT". Annie had discovered something about her unconventional friend. She was a very kind and supportive person under all the brittle veneer of society girl. It is such a revelation at such times who were really the people on whom you could count. Strangely it had been all the unexpected ones who had turned up trumps: Amri (who had been to see them with flowers and gifts for the children; somehow the events of his frenzied drunken assault seemed to pale in comparison to what had happened later) and Charis.

Annie had no beef with Mel for her reticence at first. She herself had been in that position and it would be unreasonable for her to expect her friend, a newly delivered mother to boot, to react any other way but in panic at the thought of her husband involving himself, somewhat unnecessarily when a SWAT team had been on hand, at that level of action. Since then the two had been pretty inseparable and the other aspect of their bond was demonstrated. Who else but the two of them really understood the actual nightmare that this job could exact on the lives of the women and children left behind?

"Yes. Not sure when but in a couple of weeks. Not long now."

Charis glanced at her. "What happened was to do with Terry, wasn't it?"

Annie nodded, tight lipped.

"S'OK. I don't expect you to tell me anything. I guess this is something really confidential, isn't it?"

Annie nodded again. What could she do? People were not fools. They could put two and two together and make four.

"Just keep your theories to yourself, Charis, please. Even I don't know what is going on. But I do know that the lives of many people could be at stake if things like this were mentioned in the wrong circles. I know that sounds like some crazy spy film but ..." her voice tailed off; she really did not know what else to say.

"Honey...you got it. Don't worry about me. Just make sure that when Superman gets back, I get an introduction. I'm already a fan and I haven't even met the guy!"

Annie smiled and rolled her eyes. "Get in line. By the time I'm finished with him he'll be on his knees..." she giggled and then grew serious. "About the other thing. I'm not sorry it happened but - I don't want to go there again. For a lot of reasons. And some are actually moral ones. I made a vow to be his alone. I haven't been entirely faithful to that but I still think that I should try. It's not that I'm trying to be some perfect wife or something but...what's the point of a promise if you don't think it needs to be kept? If you can find an excuse when the going gets tough? I've been thinking a lot about that recently for several reasons and I realize that sometimes I say things and don't follow through the internal logic. I did that with you. I also did it with him. It's time I stopped this selective thinking...it's very complicated, but it's how I feel. Am I making any sense, Charis?"

Charis stirred her coffee thoughtfully. "I live in a world of people who constantly redefine their beliefs just to justify their right to do exactly what they like and everyone else be damned. I'm not sure I have ever met anyone in a long time who would deny themselves a passing experience or would be prepared to put anyone else's needs before their own. Maybe that's why I don't know anyone but you whose marriage has worked."

Annie grinned at her. "I'm not Mother Teresa, Charis. Wait until you meet Terry. Then tell me if you know many women who wouldn't be prepared to put up with a few minor disadvantages for what he's giving me in life..."

"Kidnap? I'd put that in the higher end of disadvantages, sweetheart..."

"Yeah, well...he's rather at the higher end of alpha males himself so you've got to expect everything to be magnified....even the downside..." Her own reply was not lost on her. She felt these days as though she was constantly finding more and more reasons to excuse the imagined wrongs he had done her. It seemed a pity that she hadn't had time to think it all out before she had shoveled the shit on his head.

Charis laughed and then added: "By the way, Bea told me she kissed Liam the other day. On his mouth. She said it was just to make him feel better. I asked how it made her feel. She said all 'squidgy' inside. Should we be worried? You think this is the start of something big?"

Annie burst out laughing. "Liam allowed that? Bet he rubbed it off later! Good God, maybe he's his Daddy's boy after all, hey? But I'll tell you this for sure, Charis. She could do a lot worse."

Her friend nodded her acknowledgment. "You think I don't know that, honey?"

"You think you know me, don't you? I can't blame you. I lied. But not for the reasons you think. You just haven't met enough decent blokes, love. But then that was your choice. It's easier to hang on the arm of a man with money and make your fortune on your back than try to hack life as the rest of us do, hey?" After a lengthy pause, Terry had suddenly begun speaking again.

Jenna opened her mouth to reply, but he silenced her with a finger to her lip, shaking his head. The motion of leaning over suddenly made him grunt slightly. She wondered if he was injured in some way and then noticed the beads of sweat on his forehead. He was in pain and he was dealing with it. He breathed in and out deeply, some sort of yogic prana. He was controlling his discomfort. The thought of his strength and determination began to scare her; there was no obstacle that he would not surmount to assure his goal.

"I haven't finished what I was saying," he resumed. "You're clever, honey. You make sense - to a point. But I'm not buying it anymore. Let me tell you something about myself. I lied to you because I am a covert intelligence officer with the Australian special forces investigating Islamic terrorists in your region. I am not a mercenary and I do not deal in guns. To enable the security of my operation, I had to fake my own death. This has been a very stressful period of my life - and I was lonely. I met this woman who seemed to be what I needed at the time and I thought I was what she needed. It was never gonna be forever. She knew that. I never pretended otherwise.  But within the confines of my brief, I was honest and I trusted her. I know I made a serious mistake. It was a dereliction of my duty.  I put emotional attachment before the security of my colleagues and my family..."

"Why are you telling me this?" Jenna asked, the first note of hesitance in her voice.

"I don't like telling lies. I no longer have to. I have never lied willingly to a woman since I was a kid. It isn't something I do. I won't be lying to my wife either when I see her next. I love my wife more than you have a right to know. More than you could even understand. She's the only one who is allowed to tell me what kind of man I am. You sure as shit aren't. Well, now you know, baby. That was the real Terry Thorne. But although he might have been on the side of the angels, he is also something else. A highly professional killer and a man capable of cold-blooded ruthlessness where it is necessary in the pursuit of a goal. Mostly that goal is decided by his allegiance to his duty as an officer. Tonight, however, it is driven by his allegiance as a man. I didn't come here to play power games with you or even to torment you or threaten you. I came here to see you face to face before I decided on your fate. Because Hsueh, Jenna...that is now in my hands...and you have to accept that just as once you happily took my fate and made a decision with it..."

Terry stopped, observing her as she lay there. She knew now what he was really saying. He sucked thoughtfully on his upper lip and rested his head to one side. "I don't blame you for what you are. Nor am I going to blame myself for what happened anymore. But it's business, honey. For once, I am not going to let life fuck me over again. I am not gonna swallow this. I am not about to accept something just because logic tells me that I should. Sometimes you simply have to finish things or they eat into your soul. I'm sorry. I did feel something for you. But that was for the woman I believed you to be. Not for the woman that you are."

She whimpered at his words and began pulling against her restraints, frightened now by his cool and unemotional confession. But his next action surprised her; he stood up and simply turned away. "What are you going to do to me?" she whispered to his retreating back. "Please...I won't tell a soul...I swear it..."

"Nothing. I won't ever touch you again. I don't even wish to look at you."

"You're just going to walk out? I don't understand...."

He walked towards the door. Anders was standing there, watching, impassive.

"Yeah...I'm just gonna walk out..." He looked at Will who met his eyes with a question. Terry paused, stared unblinking at him, then nodded curtly. Anders quietly moved towards the bed.

"Oh God...no..." Jenna muttered. "Terry...Terry...I did love you...I truly did....I'm not lying...please...You're the only man who has ever moved me...you have to believe that I felt something for you too...I had no choice...Oh God....please..." but she did not even raise her voice above a whisper or make any real attempt to call out.  It was as if she accepted defeat willingly. Perhaps she almost welcomed the release.

At the door he rested his head against the frame and closed his eyes. "Then I believe that's what they call irony, love."

 It was barely a minute or two before he felt Will's hand on his back. 

"She's gone, mate." 

Terry ran his hand down his face and exhaled. "The boyfriend?"

"Out cold. Gave him a shot."

"Let's get the fuck out, hey?"

A warm summer's evening two weeks' later as Terry Thorne deplaned at JFK after a grueling twenty two hours' flight from Sydney. Even the blandishments of First Class were little compensation for the tedium. It had been a journey too far and it had seemed interminable, all his previous facility for simply accepting air travel, sleeping or working through the hours, having deserted him this time. He had merely sat staring ahead of him and wondering exactly what was waiting for him when he reached New York.

They hadn't spoken since the night he had rung. Following his little jaunt with Hewitt and Anders -which had passed unnoticed by the hospital staff - he had been discharged the following morning and then immediately taken into what was euphemistically referred to as 'protective custody'. It had been a debrief but as some of Thorne's involvements during the operation were now considered suspect, it was clear that he was also under investigation as well. It had not been a pleasant experience.

One morning in the windowless interview room which to all intents and purposes was a cell, an intelligence officer, Captain Michael Eugenides, had thrown a copy of a newspaper at him. "Read it out!"

Terry picked up the edition and read out loud a rather amusing article about a security alert at Brisbane airport caused by an activated vibrator in a trash can in one of the café bars.

"The headline. Don't play the joker with us, mate." Eugenides snapped out tersely.

Terry looked up, cocked an eyebrow truculently and then read aloud the main story:

Police were called to the harbourside mansion of a prominent Asian businessman after the discovery of the body of a female acquaintance in the swimming pool. Initial reports suggested that this had been an accidental death by drowning but coroners' reports have cast doubt on this theory. Miss Jenna Low, a Singaporean national, has been the companion of Mr. Edward Tan, a Malaysian citizen for the past five years. Mr. Tan has now been taken in for questioning although he has since been released on bail His passport has been confiscated....

"You want me to go on?" Terry asked.

"I think we get the gist, mate." Eugenides threw a number of photographs onto the table before Terry. They were a series of shots of him and Jenna Low, dining at restaurants, by a hotel pool, on the balcony of her condo. Some were intimate enough to show that they had been more than passing friends.

"So?" Terry held his hands out. "That's Lim Hsueh Hsiang, a woman I was seeing. No business of yours who I fuck..."

"That's Jenna Low. Or rather that was Jenna Low. Who died in suspicious circumstances a few nights' ago..."

"What? I don't understand...? You telling me Hsueh's dead? That she wasn't who she said she was? Bloody hell...but...I don't understand..." he rubbed at his chin in feigned shock; he didn't even try to make his concern authentic.

Eugenides leant over the table and shouted in his face. "Cut the fucking crap, Thorne."

Terry leaned back on the chair and smiled back at him. "I have no idea what you are talking about, mate. I'm sorry the girl's dead. She was a beautiful woman. We had some fun. But that's all it was. Whatever her game was, she got fuck all out of me. Apart from a good time in bed, that is." At that he raised his eyebrows; Eumenides swore profanely.

"Oh no....you're too good. No little Asian bitch could have played you. What the fuck were you up to?"

Terry eyed him coolly. "You tell me, mate. You're the bright spark. Intelligence officer. So use your intelligence. Tell me how she has had a negative affect on our operation."

"That's what we want to find out."

"Then ask her. Oh, you can't, can you? What a shame. Try Mr. Tan. Maybe he can shed some light...By the way. What's the inside story? Forensics?"

Eugenides threw down a report. "She died of suffocation. Evidence of ligatures. They're going for sex play that got out of hand."

Terry shrugged. "Then there's your answer. She was....shall we say a girl who liked the wild side....sexually, you know? I can attest to that..." he grinned at the captain defiantly.

"Too convenient. She hangs about with you for weeks and yet is the mistress of one of the most corrupt men in Asia? You turn up in Sydney, she turns up dead? Mate, no one's buying coincidence..."

"If you think I'm guilty of something, then you better charge me."

The younger man sat down and faced him, saying nothing.

"You can't, can you? Not a fucking piece of evidence. Just that I screwed her. I admit to it. Maybe she was up to no good. I don't know. But I did my job and you know I did."

"Your wife and children were held for ransom in New York..."

Terry fixed him coldly. "No ransom was ever received." 

"Still doesn't explain why they were held...."

"Mate, I was already 'dead' when that happened. I didn't even know."

"Then how do you know? We never told you. You were denied any outside contact."

Terry laughed. "I'm a fucking trained SAS super soldier. If I want to fucking call my wife, then I find a phone and call her. Denied outside contact, don't make me fucking laugh....Jesus Christ..."

"Then you disobeyed orders...."

"So fucking court martial me! I can see the charge now. TT called home. Whoah, man, that is going to look so bad....Firing squad... very least...."

"...You endangered others by attempting to make contact...."

"I made a safe call, mate. No one was endangered. I'm a professional. I know how to do it. Don't you ever accuse me of risking the lives of those who depend on me! You know something? You fucking little desk soldiers give me the shits, you know that? I put my life on the line and that of my family. I haven't seen my wife and kids for almost six months. I was very close to never seeing them again. I don't give a flying fuck about what any of you think. Prove I did something wrong. Just fucking try. Lock me up - or let me go. Just get out of my fucking face before I show you a few other things a professional like me can do apart from making phone calls...."  He stood up and kicked the chair across the room.

"I need to consult with my senior officers...." Eugenides began.

"You do that, sunshine. And let me out of here. Now!"

The upshot was to give Lt. Col. Thorne the benefit of the doubt; there was only circumstantial speculation to suggest any connection between him and the gang boss, Tan. Thorne was not cooperating and Hewitt and Anders, although they had originally raised the issue with Canberra, had no further corroborative information apart from the initial photographs.

Early intelligence from Costello suggested his cover was secure. No adverse connection could be thus established. The police investigation into Low's death was ongoing; it was believed that Tan had accidentally caused the death during some bondage game that had taken a wrong turn. There was an irony to it all. The police in several countries had been trying to get something on Tan for years and now the gift had dropped in their laps. It was almost as good as Capone and a tax illegality. Maybe it was even better. There was no way anyone wanted to be informed that the possible cause of Miss Low's death came from a completely different source.

So the case against Thorne was dropped.

"The file's still open, Terry," his commanding officer told him on the final day before he was given the go ahead to leave. "If we find out..."

"You won't, sir. I betrayed no one."

"But there is more to this than meets the eye, isn't there? You killed that girl, I know you did. And I know why. It was for Annie and the kids. I just cannot prove it. Nor do I know what her game was. Nor do I care..."

"So...what now?" Terry asked.

"For you? You're dead, mate. Lucky boy. Until Costello is out, then you have to be invisible. So take the wife and kiddies and disappear. Choose your location. Courtesy of the Australian government. But, when it is all over, we will looking for your resignation. We can't take that chance, Terry...once the finger of suspicion is pointed... Full pension of course and no official stain on your character....we know what we owe you..."

Terry laughed. "You know, mate, that is the best fucking news I have ever had in my life. You're throwing me out? I don't have to do my duty anymore? No more toe the fucking line? Don't have to take orders? Or deal with other peoples' shit? Holy snapping arseholes, sir...I think I just won the lottery..."

The general gave him a wry look. "What will you do?"

"Now? Take a long, long holiday. Somewhere very hot and expensive and remote and extremely exotic. I intend to bleed you all fucking dry..."

The general shook his head and smiled. "And then? Back to K and R? No doubt you would always be useful there..."

"You joking?"

"So - what then?"

"I haven't got a fucking clue, sir. For the first time in my life, I am free. From now on in, I live for myself and my family. If I still have one, that is. And you all better hope that I have, sir..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Anything you fucking like, sir. I don't even owe you the time of day anymore. You got your pound of flesh. Am I free to go?"

He nodded.

"Then I bid you G'day, sir." He saluted and turned on his heel to walk out of the office. He took the cap he had tucked under his arm and tossed it in the nearest waste paper  bin, dumped his uniform jacket and tie onto the floor watched by several astonished young officers in the ante room and walked away.

It is not only all good things that come to an end. All bad things do, too- they just take longer, or so it seemed. Terry pulled down his carryon and strolled off the plane, cleared immigration easily with his diplomatic passport and made his way slowly through to  the exit. He had emailed Annie with his flight arrival time but now he was almost there, he was suddenly unsure if it had been a good idea to meet here. Maybe they should have chosen a less public spot. He just had no idea what to expect.

And then he saw her. Alone. Standing a little apart, a little lost, dressed in a pretty short sundress, her legs bare and her hair tousled, as if she had been running her hands nervously through it. His seasoned eye also took in the bodyguards who were close by, not appearing to be with her but alert and scanning the crowd.  Then Annie gasped as she noticed him, her fingers playing with the purse in her hand.

For a long moment as he drew nearer, she did nothing but stare until she suddenly smiled and moved. Her eyes sparkled and then misted over but that was the last thing he saw as he dropped his case and she was in his arms. He just held on tight while the ground seemed to slide from under him; his world spinning into orbit. Neither spoke. It was hard even to breathe. She just buried her face against his shoulder and he hid his own in her shiny black curls.

"Mrs. Thorne?" A male voice broke into the moment, Terry looked up sharply. The two minders had moved to flank her.

"It's OK, "Annie grinned through her tears. "This is my husband. He's home."

Terry gave them a look. "Appreciate it, lads, but can you keep your distance? This is private..." 

The two men looked embarrassed and stepped back, but not far. Good, Terry, thought. Watch my fucking back, boys, because I sure as fuck am not able to at the moment.

"The kids?"

"With Dino and Mel. I had to see you first. I had to make sure you knew..."

"Knew what?"

"That I love you. That I am so sorry. That I didn't mean what I said..." the tears started spilling down.

He pulled her close. "Not here. I can't deal with it here. Let's go somewhere."

"Where?"

"How long we got?"

Annie shrugged. "Long as we need, I suppose, although the kids are so desperate to see you...they're just climbing the walls...I could hardly restrain them when they found out..."

Terry groaned. "Jesus Christ. Home. Let's go home..."

"But...you wanted to..." Annie started.

"I can wait."

"Not sure I can..."

"Tough. We have two kids. They come first. You gonna argue with me?"

"No, boss. Wouldn't dream of it...." She grinned and he laughed, catching her and dragging her against him, kissing her like his life depended on it, oblivious to where they were or how they ought to behave. He no longer cared. It was as though a veil had lifted from his eyes and everything was bathed in a new clear light. Whatever had driven his life so far, that stage was over and he had broken the link that tied him to anyone else but this woman and the children that he had fathered. The gauntlet now passed to younger men. That was the way of the world.

When they reached home, Zoe launched herself on her father and burst into melodramatic weeping, climbing all over him and hanging from his neck. Annie saw him wince as she leapt on him, and it was only then that she remembered his injuries - whatever they were. But it seemed the wrong place to mention such a thing; she had no desire to increase her daughter's upset.  Meanwhile Liam hung back, suddenly overcome, watching the reunion with his good thumb firmly in his mouth.

But Terry hadn't forgotten him. Placing Zoe down gently and pulling her in close to his side, he called Liam over. The boy was embarrassed by the emotion that must have been close to the surface. He didn't want to cry - but Annie knew he was struggling against tears all the same. Mel and Dino meanwhile stood back, sensitive to their intrusion on this intensely personal moment for the family.

Liam came over walking stiffly, rubbing nervously at his still bruised face to stand shyly before his father. "I broke my arm," he announced.

"I can see that," Terry smiled but Annie noticed that the smile had not reached his eyes. There was something else there, something darker and colder that was almost frightening. But she knew what it was. It was his anger at what had been done to his boy.

"And I got this bruise on my face..." Liam touched the swollen cheekbone.

"Yeah, well... you were never gonna be in a boy band, were ya? You look too much like me..."

Liam grinned. Then he ran at his father and Terry dropped to his knees to hold him. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

That moment of deep emotion seemed to break the ice for all and despite the tears, there was a lot of laughing and joy at the reunion. Terry was just over the moon at the sight of little Nate and giggled helplessly at the colour of his hair. "You sure he's yours, mate?" he shouted across at Dino as he chuckled away and jiggled the little boy in his arms. Nathaniel screamed at the strange man which just made Terry laugh even more. "Your father can't stand me either, mate, " he informed the wailing baby as Mel took him back and gave Terry a kiss which he turned into a good old snog until the children were squealing at him and Mel's suggestive groans were positively indecent.

"Sorry about that, Dino, me old mate, but I haven't seen a woman in a long time. And as ever, I get a kick out of stealing yours..."

But Dino and Mel didn't hang about long, aware that this was neither the time nor the place for them. "Catch you later, pal. We need to talk." Despite the light tones, the undercurrent was clear. Dino expected as full a report as Terry was capable of delivering. He was to get a surprise a few days later when his friend opened up and gave him the entire story. He reasoned that Dino had a right to know why his life had needed to be put on the line.

The family ate dinner together and talked, Annie allowing the children to tell the story of the kidnap to their father, aware that this was actually the first time they had ever willingly come out with all the details. Terry listened without demonstrating too much reaction, although when Liam blithely described his attacks on the leader and refusal to be evacuated by Dino, Annie saw Terry's eyes glaze over; she could only imagine what his real feelings about it were.

When Liam mentioned 'this man was trying to hurt Mum. He was doing things to her I didn't like...' Terry glanced over to Annie and she saw horror pass clearly across his face. There was no question that he was in any doubt what Liam had prevented - and his astonishment at his son's actions grew with every passing word.

But at the end, all he said was. "You did good. All of you. I promise you nothing like that will ever happen to us again." He didn't dwell on it or make a song and dance about it. He was absolutely right. The sooner those events became an accepted part of their life that was now firmly behind them, the better.

By bedtime, it was clear that the children were not prepared to let Terry go. He just threw them into his own bed and lay down with them. "They can drop off here. I'll carry them back to their beds later."

Annie went to clear the dishes and left them all curled up in bed giggling about something or other Terry was telling them. He had always made up stories about his 'adventures' in his youth and this was no doubt one of them. By the time she had finished and came back in, however, the three of them were fast asleep.

Sitting on the end of the bed, she watched them, the children flopped flat out on their father who was out for the count, floored himself by jetlag. Annie did not have the heart or the inclination to disturb them. Easing off his shirt and pants, amazed that he was so deeply asleep that he barely stirred, she took a look at the still raw-looking scar on his ribcage and the bruising that was covering his upper chest. But the damage looked rather less than she had feared. She was too grateful for that to allow this to worry her too much.

Pulling the cover up over them all, Annie changed and slipped in by the side of her son, lying in the dark listening to his snaffly breathing and the low purr of Terry snoring. Suddenly her heart was bathed in a feeling of safety and relief. It was the first time she could put down her burden in longer than she could remember. And the first time in many months that she fell asleep almost as soon as her head touched the pillow.

Some time deep in the night, Terry awoke with a start, his body feeling the unfamiliar presence of others. Opening his eyes and having to drag his brain back to the present to remember where he was, the fog of jetlag and heavy-boned slumber still weighing him down, he looked down and saw his children lying on him. His chest ached from Liam's head pressed on his ribcage; Zoe's mass of hair was fanned out across his face. Easing the boy aside fractionally to give him some relief, he watched as the child shifted and sank back to sleep, then he scooped his daughter's hair and pushed it away from his face. Looking to the left, he saw Annie deeply asleep, holding Liam but her hand resting on his own abdomen- just a touch, the circle finally unbroken.

He couldn't stop himself. There comes a point when it is possible to open up the iron door inside which keeps the nightmares firmly shut down. But there was no way of closing the floodgates once they were open. Nor did he even wish to try

In the dark of the night, holding to him the most precious things he possessed, he let his own tears fall and wept silently for the life that he had regained.

"Mum...it says here that Justin Timberlake was Britney's first lover. Does that mean boyfriend or that they had sex?" Zoe was leafing through a pop magazine whilst eating her breakfast.

Terry chose that moment to stagger into the kitchen. He had slept like a dead body all night and was barely awake even now. But he was hungry and the smell of bacon had tempted him out of bed. He couldn't find anything to wear, so he wandered in as he was with nothing on but his boxer briefs. It was his daughter's comment that cut through the fug in his brain.

"What did she just say?" He yawned and rubbed his bristly face while squinting over her shoulder at whatever she was reading.

Annie looked up and smiled at the sight of him. He had many looks that she loved but early morning grumpy and unshaven with his equipment hastily pushed back and poorly rearranged after his post-wake up pee had to be the winning visual of all.

Terry's eyes flickered at speed over the article on the page before him. Ten things that turn men on. He frowned and read on. By the time he got to wet T-shirts he muttered. "Have you any idea what she's reading here?"

"Don't be so old-fashioned, Dad! It's important to understand the opposite sex!" Zoe retorted looking up at him. At that angle she more or less met his package square in the eye and, without any more ado, she simply reached out and gave him a squeeze.

"That's why they call it a pup tent, Dad!" she giggled. Terry jumped and stepped back in shock. Liam laughed so hard he spat out a mouthful of cornflakes all over the table. Annie bit her lip to stop herself doing the same- the look of horror on her husband's face completely did her in.

"Hey, leave off...tell her not to do that, Annie..." he objected lamely.

"Why not?" Zoe asked.

"Because... because....it's wrong." Terry gave Annie a look and mouthed, 'talk to her!'

"Dad means that we shouldn't touch each other's genitals. You know I've told you that you never let anyone do that without your permission."

"But he's my Dad!" Zoe argued back.

"Actually that is the point, darling. You don't do that to your dad or your brother and, I would hope, not to any other man or boy you know either."

"But why?" Zoe was in one of her awkward moods. But Annie wasn't having any of it.

"There is no appropriate answer for that at your age. You just have to remember it and not do it again. And also stop asking why. End of discussion."

Tutting loudly and tossing her hair back, Zoe carried on eating her breakfast with a look of utter disdain on her face.

"But I think you should either go back to bed or get some clothes on. If you didn't present a target then she wouldn't have honked your horn now, would she?" Annie added to Terry. At that, both children burst out laughing and Liam began making absurd honking noises. Their father gave them both a sharp glare to shut them up.

"Don't they have school to go to or something?" he muttered under his breath.

"Sure do. Which reminds me. Get a move on, you two, we leave in ten minutes. And Terry...here's your breakfast. Eat, shower and I shall be back by nine fifteen. If you get my drift. And don't shave." He fixed her a smile; she gave him a sultry look over the children's heads. "I just need to catch up on my reading to make sure I still remember... ten things does it say there?" she giggled, waving the article at him as Liam and Zoe ran off to brush teeth and gather their belongings.

He caught her round the waist and pulled her to him, running his hand between her legs clad in tight denim. "Ten things...I want more than ten, love...and make sure you hurry back...."

It was quiet in the apartment when she let herself back in after almost breaking every traffic rule to get home. Breathlessly, she threw down her car keys and ran into the bedroom but he wasn't there. "Terry?" she called out

"I'm out here."

His voice came from the balcony in the lounge. He was standing wearing a pair of old jeans - she had brought some of his clothes from home and he had quickly sorted out the sort of worn and comfortable things he liked to wear at home, so unlike his urbane style when working.

It was going to be a hot day, the air conditioning on inside, but he was standing in full sunlight, bare-chested and staring out at the skyline, sipping a mug of tea. He smelt of shower gel and his hair was still damp as she slipped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight.

"Ouch." he mumbled.

"What happened?" Annie said as he turned round and she ran her fingers along the freshly healing scar.

"Punctured lung. Had to have an operation."

"How did you get that?"

He sat down on a wrought iron chair and pulled her onto his knee. "I am going to tell you everything that happened. Everything. But not today. There are more important things now. But I promise you that I will keep nothing from you ever again..."

Annie blushed and stroked back his tousled hair. "I don't expect to know everything. I do understand that. It's highly secret government work and I do not have a right to know...."

"Yes you do. You were prepared to give me up for a cause that you didn't even understand. That gives you the right. But later. Let's start at the end and work back. OK?"

"What do we do next? Go home?" she asked.

He shook his head and sighed. "It's a long story, but to safeguard us and the other men and most especially the bloke still on the inside...a guy called Nick...my death has been faked. We cannot go back until he is safe - and that could be months. I have no idea when that time will come."

"So...we stay here?"

"No. Too public. We have to break our links with the company and disappear."

"Disappear? Like a witness protection programme? Are people after us?"

"No. No one is after us. Not quite like that. We keep our name and simply go somewhere remote and drop out for a while. Home school the kids. I'll help if I can. Do my best anyway. Certainly monitor my daughter's reading matter..." he grinned.

Annie giggled. "You old square!"

"Anyone who knows that expression is very old, so don't flatter yourself, love," he retorted. 

"But where do you think we should go? What have you got in mind? Who arranges all this?"

"The government - all expenses paid. And we make them pay. I have no ideas where we should choose. Nor do I give a shit. You choose. Up to now you've had to grin and bear it. Now it's your turn and I will say yes to anything you suggest. North Pole - I would prefer a warmer location but if you say so, I will not demur. Take a couple of days to think about it, but not too long. We need to move on this."

"Anywhere?"

"Well...I think Oz and SE Asia are off the list, naturally. England and Europe are too congested. But yeah....wherever else you want..."

She sat there a little bemused. "And you will be there all the time? You don't have to go back for anything...."

"Every minute of every day. You will get on my tits and I certainly intend to get on yours...in more ways than one..." he added, slipping his hand beneath her strappy top. She wriggled with pleasure as he found a nipple and played with it. "And the next little bombshell is that after we get the all clear, I'm out of the army for good..."

"What? Why? What are you going to do?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Hoping you could help me out there. We'll think of something. Something that does not involve - danger, travel or anything to do with covert ops. Most dangerous thing I'll be doing is mowing the lawn- and I'll probably pay someone to do that..."

"I don't know what to say..." Annie stuttered in surprise.

"Nothing to say. Fait accompli. Your job is to enjoy yourself. My job is to enjoy you. You can enjoy me if you like as well..." he murmured, holding her by the neck and bringing her mouth to his lips. He kissed her softly - but then pulled away.

"There are other things, however, that I have to tell you today. And I'm just going to tell you straight. You won't like it but I want you to know. While I was over there, I met a woman. We had an affair...."

Annie put her finger on his lips and shook her head. "Is she still a factor?"

He shook his head.

"Why? Did you love her?"

He shook his head again. 

"Does she love you?"

"She's dead," he stated bluntly, a defensive note in his voice.

Annie breathed out slowly. "So you cared about her but she died in whatever you were up to? She was part of the team?"

"No. She was a sort of enemy agent who managed to fool me." He took Annie's face and made her meet his eyes. "She was very good in bed. I mean...she did things I had never experienced before. I let my curiosity lead my good sense and what I did could have destroyed us all. She caused your kidnapping. So, it was because of me but in a way more directly linked than you could ever have imagined. And...when I discovered what her game was..."

"You killed her." Annie finished the sentence and shuddered slightly. But she knew that he had. It was written all over his face and body language. The cold brittle icy anger she had seen at the sight of his son's injuries had been the aftermath of what had driven him to commit this murder.

"I ordered her death. Yes, that is correct."

"People die in war. She knew the risks." Annie observed. "We could all have died..."

He nodded. "You had to know. This was too important ever to keep from you."

"I'm glad you told me."

"How do you feel?" he took her hand in his and massaged her palm gently.

"I slept with someone, Terry," she blurted out.

He blinked a few times but made no other response.

"I slept with a woman. A friend called Charis. She's bisexual. I'm so ashamed I did it..."

"Why?" he asked, his head tilted as he watched her face intently. "Why are you ashamed?"

"Because I was unfaithful. I let you down. I let myself down."

"So was I. I was unfaithful to you."

"I told you I didn't care."

"But you do care, don't you?" he said softly, brushing her hair from her face. She nodded honestly. "No one can ever really be unaffected by their partner's infidelity whatever the circumstances," he added.

"I agree. I'm sorry, Terry...I got drunk one night and smoked a joint...it was really top grade shit...I was bombed off my head on Napoleons. We just got talking and she told me she had this girlfriend and I got curious and I just...we just...well, we just....we had sex...."

Terry concentrated very hard on two things as she was making her rambling confession. One was keeping his face straight, the other was trying to clear the rather tasty visual of a naked Annie, high as kite smashed on marijuana with some blonde Amazon (it was a long established fantasy of his and the woman was always big and blonde) getting it on; but now was not the appropriate time for him to crack a fat.

He cleared his throat. "How was it? I mean....did it work for you?' he tried to keep the prurience out of his voice but it had been a long time. The sight of her lovely face all flushed with embarrassment and the idea that Annie had it in her to let rip, simply enchanted him. She was still able to surprise him; he had never known another woman who was such a beguiling mix of innocent girl and sharp and sassy lady. If he had ever needed a demonstration of just why he loved her so much, she was giving it to him then.

"It was...well...actually it was quite nice..." she admitted seriously as thought she was discussing the merits of a new brand of coffee. He coughed to cover up the laugh that was threatening to burst out. "I mean...I don't want to do it again or anything... but... Terry.. .it's amazing actually...I mean...she went straight for it and...you know....she knew exactly what to do...I didn't even have to move her hand or anything..."

He sniffed. "Better than me, hey....?" He feigned surprise.

"Well, you don't have one, do you?" Annie reasoned.

"True. Thank God." He smiled at her.

"So you're not too upset?"

"Annie...I had an affair and have admitted I killed a woman. That revelation rather seems to have glanced off you...."

"She was the enemy..."

"Even so...if you can take that with equanimity, you are not going to have any trouble from me."

"So you forgive me?"

"Yes. And...now this is just an afterthought, mind you....if I should ever have a difficulty getting it up...would you mind running it all by me in more detail....?

Annie slapped his arm. "You dirty bugger!"

"Hey, it works for me as much as you...."he grinned.

"Well, try this one....my latest fantasy...do you want to hear it?"

"Go on....run it by me...."he rubbed his hands together.

"You....and another real fit young bloke - all buff and polished..."

"Jesus Christ, Annie.... fucking hell! Spare me the details...he hasn't got red hair, has he...? Because I would never sink so low..."

"Oh, you do in my fantasy....onto your knees...and you both did a wonderful job.... I was very impressed..."

"You are one dirty girl, Annie....but you are very fortunate that dirty girls are my favourite kind of female...." he stood up with her still on his lap before throwing her over his shoulder. "I think we've talked enough. I'm actually more of an action sort of guy..."

She squealed as he walked through into the bedroom, drumming some rhythm of his own on her shapely buttocks. But once in their room, he let her slither to the floor and he grasped her shoulders gently. "I wanna tell you this, baby.  I love you. I always have and I always will. I know our life has never been easy. But I want to tell you something that you need to face up to. You fell in love with me for what I am. You needed a man like me. If you want this..." He took his hand and dragged her own to cup his cock, already hard inside the soft denim confines, "Then you have to take all I am. You never wanted a stay at home pussy for a husband. You know you didn't.  I won't stand any shit anymore about me ruining your life. Because I haven't. I made your life - as you made mine. I am done with taking it all and bearing up under it.  Even from you. You learn to deal with your own decisions and make them for yourself. And I want you to take some of the decisions off me in future...."

Annie threw her had back and laughed. "You been taking assertiveness classes? What will I do with a Terry Thorne who fights back? OK....first executive decision....will you get your fucking pants off and act like a man? I need sex. Now. Lots of it...."

He simply lifted her up and tossed her onto the bed where she lay provocatively displayed. He ripped down his zipper, giving her the benefit of his eye contact and letting his tongue loll suggestively from his mouth. Annie clapped her hands in glee and whistled. "Come on....show me what you've got - woo hoo!"

He eased his jeans over his hips and then dropped them, cupping his groin and grinning broadly. "What's it worth, honey?"

"Seen one you've seen 'em all...." Annie teased.

"Ready to go blind?"

Terry moved to where she was sitting and dropped his hands, rubbing himself in her face. She whooped and fell back onto the bed; he tumbled in next to her, rolling over and over as they wrestled and played. He had her immobilized in moments, ripping off her top and opening her jeans with one hand as she writhed and kicked. Then he straddled her backwards and began to pull them off. She paddled his butt, but he simply laughed wickedly.

"This is supposed to be romantic, Terry! Not all-in wrestling!"

"You know me in the mornings when I've had a good sleep...Too much energy..." She helped him kick off her jeans and he pulled down her panties, simply lunged and burying his head in her sex. Annie reached for him and snuggled into his groin, kissing and fondling his hard cock. It was wild and playful, euphoric enjoyment of each other, nothing like what either had imagined their first time back together would be.

But the wildness abated and in moments they lay holding each other, touching, kissing, murmuring and then Annie crawled back up to his mouth and they kissed, full of the taste and smell of each other, as much interested in filling all their senses with the utter experience of the other than actually gaining orgasm.

It occurred to Terry in some stream of vague consciousness that wandered across his barely-functioning brain that this was where sex differed if your emotions were involved. It was impossible to think of technique or what you wanted or what she wanted at a time like this. Sex with the woman he loved was just the instinctive driving impulse of both their natures; a physical expression of all they felt and desired and loved about each other. Yin and Yang. Jenna had never really understood that the truest way to discover it is to lose yourself for another person. And when that is done equally then the balance is there by choice and free will. Nothing else is needed for total harmony.

The first time was fast and frenzied, hard and sweaty, noisy and desperate. Then they lay and talked and he began to fill her in with the story of his time away. The next time was slow and exquisite - he had no urge to come and spent his time simply bringing Annie on over and over in his arms, on his hands, in his mouth until she was limp and beyond tears. Then he came and they slept, wrapped up together in sheets that were wrecked and damp with love.

At lunch time, they woke, took a shower, prepared some food and then carried it back to bed ending up eating it off each other. He talked about the three men who had been in his command and how much he had come to care about them. "They drove me insane half the time like your own kids do, you know? Especially Nick. Jesus Christ, I love that bastard. I can't explain how situations like that create bonds that can never be broken. It's the finest thing about being a soldier. What men will do for the men they respect and at whose side they have fought. I think that's the only thing I will miss..."

Late afternoon, they made love again. He was complaining of his chest hurting, Annie was not surprised. "You should take it easy, sweetie..."

"Then sit on me and give me a treat, hey?" She climbed up and made love to him as he stretched out with his fingers clutching the bed head, letting her use his body to pleasure herself until she could no longer keep up the rhythm and he tossed her over to cover her and love her in the way that in the end they both loved best - face-to-face and looking deep into each other's eyes, fingers interlocked above their heads. Even long after their orgasm, long after he had slipped out of her body, he lay on above her, holding himself from crushing her but incapable of moving from the place he most wanted to be. They lay together and whispered, more of the story of his operation, catching up on the children, important things and trivial matters, anything that struck them, laughing and teasing, confiding and realizing just how lonely they had been without their best friend in their lives.

"We should change these sheets before the kids come back. They smell," Annie murmured as she lay in his arms and he massaged her shoulders with his strong thick fingers. Suddenly she jumped up. "Shit! Look at the time! We've been in bed all day!"

He rolled over and looked at his watch. "What time do they finish?"

"Three thirty."

Terry dragged himself out of bed and loped to the bathroom. "Quick wash down and I'll go get them. Where is it anyway?"

"Take one of the guys."

"A body guard? Me?" Terry snorted.

"You don't know where the school is. Don't be stubborn. Why make it difficult for yourself?"

"I'm a man. I never ask for directions and always know the best way," he reminded her smarmily as he washed his cock and patted it dry. "Fuck...think I did something permanent damage..." he winced.

"I can't even put my legs together," Annie moaned as she stripped the bed and opened up the windows to air the room out. It smelt like a brothel, or so she imagined.

Terry threw on jeans and a shirt untucked and slipped on some boots. "By the time I get back...you better look like Mum again. Or I might just forget myself and fuck you all over..."

She threw a pillow at him as he swaggered out of the bed room door with the unmistakable walk of a sexually satisfied man.

Charis noticed him immediately and knew exactly who he was despite only once having seen a snap of him. In the flesh Terry Thorne was even more appealing. He was leaning on a wall, wearing a pair of jeans so well worn that they clung to his body like a second skin. His right leg was bent, the sole of his leather boot flat against the brick. The bulge at his groin was large and soft, his genitals poorly arranged as if he had dressed in a hurry; Charis smiled to herself. Now there was a man who has just got out of bed. There was no possible doubt. Sexual energy was almost rolling off him in waves.

Terry was swarthy and tousled haired, his beard bristly and adding a rough quality to his handsome chiseled face, accentuating his pale blue-green eyes. He was smoking a cigarette, drawing on it deeply and leaning his head back to exhale; Charis thought he might almost have been naked on an unmade bed. Her stomach flipped at the sheer visceral response to his earthy virility. She thought she had never seen a more desirable man. She was also glad Annie was not around. He was just too good not to flirt with.

"Hi, you must be Terry Thorne. I'm Charis Stein....my daughter's a friend of your son's..." Terry gave her a half smile as he watched her from beneath lowered lashes; she knew he was taking a good look at her and that he liked what he saw.

"Beatrice? I've heard of your daughter..." He threw down the cigarette, held out his hand and shook hers in his strong warm grip. "Pleased to meet you, Charis." This time his smile was more open.

"So you're back? From wherever you've been....?"

"Looks like it, hey?"

"How's Annie?"

"Great...better than she's been since...the last time she let her hair down..." he gave her a knowing look; Charis wondered whether or not he knew.

"She's such a lovely woman, you're a very lucky man..."

"I know that....We must have a lot in common, Charis, ya know?"

"Oh yeah?' She rolled her eyes. "In what way?"

"Reckon we've both got good taste..."

"...Do go on, Mr. Thorne..."

He grinned, raising one eyebrow jauntily. "Same taste in women..."

Charis laughed sexily. "More than you know. Play your cards right and I could go for both the Thornes...At the same time..." she added.

His eyes glinted devilishly. "Now you are talking, love...and I wouldn't need your grade A shit to get me in the mood..." He launched that one straight back with gusto.

She gasped at his cheek - but she wasn't giving in that easily. "And I have just the lady to come and join us. Another girl we have in common....name of Alice..."

At the name he hesitated; she couldn't possibly mean... 

"She used to live overseas..." Charis added.

"Tecala?" His voice showed his surprise.

"Tecala..." Charis repeated with a triumphant note of 'Touché.' 

"I am not even going to ask how you put my name with hers..."

"Try asking Annie...seeing as how she's in such a confessional mood today...Must be the pillow talk, hey?" Terry groaned at the visual. Annie had met Alice in New York? Christ, would he have liked to have been a fly on the wall for that one.

Just then the children came charging out of the building and in seconds Liam, Zoe and Bea arrived like three little human whirlwinds. Terry picked up his daughter, put his arm around his son and chatted Bea up.  The children just hung off every word he said and Charis noticed how proud Liam and Zoe were to show him off. They would have been even more so had they realized the effect he was having on the entire adult female population of the school community.

"I need to get back to Annie. Nice to have met you, Mrs. Stein. Appreciate what you did for my wife.... Nice to be able to put a face to a name now. Sort of helps the visual image, ya know?" He winked as he took his leave leaving her in no doubt of his amusement at the idea of his wife and her getting it on.

Charis burst out laughing. What a guy! Sex personified, irreverent as hell, clearly reeking of good sex with his much loved wife, witty and charming, and an adored and adoring father into the bargain. Bea had only exchanged a few words with him but talked about him all night. And his own visual image gave Charis something to think about later that night....

EPILOGUE

ISLA NEGRA, VALPARAISO, CHILE

Eleven a.m. on a mild breezy morning, Annie lay curled up on her rickety wooden veranda reading Pablo Neruda's caliente love poems; her Spanish now just about good enough to tackle them in the original, although the dictionary was getting a hammering. They had been there five months already and she wouldn't have cared if they stayed here for the rest of their lives. Home at the moment was a ramshackle old monstrosity of a house on a promontory above a lonely beach in a place not far from Isla Negra which was a place not far from Valparaiso which was a bloody long way from any place.

The house was insane but perfectly matched the family's mood. It had been built over a hundred and fifty years ago by some eccentric English sailor who had made his fortune in something or other and had become a virtual recluse there with a series of local women as wives and subsequently droves of dusky children. His mansion had been a monument to nuttiness, a sprawling, higgledy-piggledy, rambling, dilapidated home with staircases and attics and cellars and antiques and junk. Most of the rooms were unused but the four of them had spent many happy hours exploring and had turning up the most curious treasures imaginable. If only the house could talk.

Nothing much there worked properly and if it did it creaked and moaned and pretended it was about to give up the ghost. Luckily the climate was mostly fine so the pathetic heating system was sufficient. Annie could not handle the archaic cooking range but a microwave and a barbie did for them.  The electricity supply was fitful, phone lines down more than on and water cuts were common - but they had a generator which mostly worked, the barbecue ran on a gas cylinder and there was a natural well so they managed.

Newspapers arrived every couple of weeks or so courtesy of Mel, they had no TV or computer and Terry refused to turn his phone on unless he needed to call someone. To all intents and purposes they were the Aussie Family Thorne version of castaways.

It wasn't quite as bad as that. They had a battered old Land Rover to get about and Valparaiso was only about an hour's drive away. It was a big city if they needed anything like hospitals or an airport but they hardly ever went there - most of their food was bought in local markets and little provisions' shops; Terry had the kids out fishing most days and they ate a lot of sea food.

Although the children had found life without TVs and games consoles and the rest difficult at first, they had quickly replaced that with the new wonders of life to be found on this remote rugged beach paradise. Their days were spent either doing school work in the mornings or the afternoons beachcombing, on fishing trips, building a catamaran and working on other projects like the tree house and kite making. Terry had thrown himself into these new pursuits for them with the same concentration that he put into anything he did. The children were as obsessive as he was.

Annie glanced up from her book and watched Terry jogging down the beach on his regular run. He looked so good. Like she had never seen him before. Since the day he had returned he had never cut his hair once and was now sporting long wavy unkempt locks which had become a new nervous habit for him - he was forever raking the hair back off his face and threatening to take a razor to it all and shave his head. He had also stopped shaving and now had a thick beard which he occasionally trimmed when he had a mind - but not often. It was months since he had worn long pants or a shirt - he hardly ever even wore shoes these days; his body was nut brown. It was as if every standard that he had ever adhered to had been cast from him when he had walked away that last time; he had no desire ever again to be that man in whose shell he had had to spend most of his life so far.

His latest acquisition had been a tattoo. This from the man who had never had any distinguishing marks on his body for fear of identification - apart from the road map of scars that his lifestyle had rewarded him, that is. But an interest in local native art had brought him into contact with an old Indian guy, Santos, who was something of a mystic. Santos regaled the children with legends, many told in the musical cueca tradition, and fascinated Terry with his visionary outlook on the world which to him was some wonderland peopled by humans, ghosts, animal spirits and explained in simple parables. His philosophy was the antithesis of the pragmatic cynical world Terry had once lived in and it was as if such stories and beliefs could help him to regain some thing of the lost child within him that he so needed to revive. His tattoo was based on an ancient symbol of the sun god rising above a stylized range of mountain. It was an Incan sign for rebirth. He had had it tattooed in the ancient way onto his left bicep. Annie thought it incredibly sexy but then there wasn't much about her husband that failed to turn her on.

Despite his new found bohemian interest, however, Terry still categorically refused to even discuss letting either of his children have a tattoo. Some things would never change. He wouldn't even let Zoe have her ears pierced.

The noise of a car engine broke into Annie's secret observation of her husband and made her sit up sharply. They never had any visitors who came by the purring engines of high performance cars. Only locals in battered jeeps and ancient jalopies, the friends they had made within this remote community. But the memories of old were enough to alert her immediately. She ran into the lounge and took the hand gun that was always placed on top of the large mahogany dresser and slipped it into the pocket of her baggy shorts.

Peering out of the window overlooking the front, she checked the path and saw a young man approaching from his sleek silver BMW sports car. He was a very handsome guy, aged about later twenties she would imagine, jet black hair in a just-woken up style, swarthy in a designer stubble way, dressed casually but expensively in loose white pants, a muted earth tones silk shirt, brown suede donkey jacket and Italian leather shoes. His eyes were covered by reflective shades. Annie smiled. Someone fancied himself something wicked, she thought. The arrogance of young men!

His right hand was thrust into the deep pocket of the loose jacket  he had on and she wondered if he was hiding a gun - and then wondered at her paranoia. But why would anyone come here to this place, especially such an unlikely specimen of man? On the other hand he could be lost - so she better not go waving the Beretta at him. Of course, if he was a gun man then the notion of her taking him down was so absurd that it made her smile, despite the sudden fear that crept across her gut.

She would watch him and keep him in sight. If she suspected he was dangerous, then it would only take one shot fired into the air to bring Terry - and he had other firearms stashed, she knew he had. Her eyes automatically rose to the floor above where the children were doing some school work. They were writing in their diaries, or that was the idea anyway. She imagined that Liam was probably day dreaming or playing with something - that was the usual order of things if he was not watched every minute.

The young man looked about the property, shrugged and made for the front door, an elaborate solid oak that would have sat well on a medieval castle, the entrance framed by a Gothic style porch complete with stained glass windows. It really was the ugliest and most interesting house ever designed.

The door bell sounded and Annie could now see him closer from her vantage point at the side window. He was a very handsome man indeed, there was no denying it, tall and lean, with that stringy sexuality that hides latent power. It was hard not to wonder what this intriguing specimen of virile young male was doing in this backwater place.

Time to find out.

"Si?" Annie opened the door, hiding the gun in her right hand behind her back.

"Buenos dias, Senorita..." the young man flashed a smile to reveal white even teeth. He really was a charmer. 

"Buenos dias, Senor..."

"Hable ingles?" he said, clearly uncomfortable with the language.

"No."

"Shit...look....Senor Thorne... esta aqui?"

Annie stood motionless and left him struggling.

"Yo Nicholas Costello...amigo.... Jesus...don't you even know a bloody word?"

Nick Costello? Annie's eyes widened. Nick? The fourth man?

"Well, my Spanish is crap...but it's better than yours....I'm Anna Thorne..." Annie gave him a smile and he burst out laughing.

"Ya got me there, love. Pleased to me ya. What's a pretty girl like you doing with Growly Bear? Or are you the daughter? If so...are you free for dinner?" She extended her hand but then realised that his right hand resting in his jacket pocket was strapped up. "Sorry...can't manage the old handshake...." he indicated an injury.

She smiled. "I'm the wife. Terry's outside. Come on in, it's so wonderful to meet you. Terry has told me so much about you!" She stood back and he stepped forward whispering "Mind that gun, love. I was a bit scared when I saw you at that window that you were a sniper or something..." with a cheeky grin.  He had known she had been there all the time and the posturing swagger of his entrance had no doubt been put on for her benefit.

Annie blushed and shoved the gun back onto the top of the cupboard before leading Nick through the house to the back veranda. Terry was still on the beach; she shouted his name and he looked up and smiled.

"Bloody hell, mate. He is a bear....he going native or something?" Nick grinned. At that moment, Terry saw him and raised a hand as if he was holding a gun, took aim and made an imaginary shot. Then he jogged up the steps from the beach.

"What the fuck are you doing here, mate?" he shouted as he drew near, his face wearing a broad and delighted smile.

"What the fuck is anyone doing in a shit hole like this?" Nick answered. "Thorne, ya bastard.....thought I'd put a bullet in ya?"

Terry pointed out his scar. "Nearly...I owe you one...So....you out?"

Nick nodded and looked at Annie quizzically.

"She knows. All of it. You can speak freely."

"I'll get a couple of beers...." Annie left them alone and went to the kitchen.

Nick watched her go. "What she see in you? Bleeding hell, she blind or something? I offered her a date already but she's not buying..."

Terry sat down and eyed him up. "Give it a rest, hey...tell you what...you can have her but she comes with two kids....mate, that would sort you out...."

Nick grinned and took a seat opposite as Annie cracked a few cans and handed them out. She settled cross-legged on the wooden floor by Terry's feet; his hand went to her hair and he ran his fingers through it. Nick thought she was the prettiest woman he had seen in a long time.

"You don't read the newspapers much I take it?" Nick asked them. They laughed.

"Usually get them about a month late. Why?"

"Major bust in SE Asia. Hundreds arrested, dozens killed in running battle with police and field forces, major weapons dumps seized.., ringleaders rounded up.... networks smashed..."

Terry rubbed his face thoughtfully. "Good on ya, mate. You're the only bastard who could have done it..."

"We did it. All of us."

"No, mate...we just were just the bait. This is yours, Nick. Made your name. As an old mate of mine once said to me...you are The Man, the Stuff of Legends..."

Nick shook his head. "Yeah, well....not sure it was quite worth the cost..." It didn't sound like the old Nick. Terry stopped and looked more closely.

"You all right? What happened to your hand?" He had seen the bandaging.

"You could say I left it behind in the rush....or most of it, anyway...." Nick attempted a smile but it was unconvincing. "Cleaver...I didn't move fast enough at the end. It could have been worse... I took the bloke's face off, though....so he won't be patting himself on the head for his job well done...."

There was so much unsaid in his breezy dismissal of his injuries. Terry wasn't fooled, Annie neither.

"What you gonna do now, mate?"

"Well, I'm not sure a one handed man has got a lot of future in special forces. Even K and R might pull a face..."

"Never heard of a left handed gun?" Terry smiled sadly. "You'll find something. You're too fine a man not to. But I'm sorry that it cost you so much..."

"...Not as sorry as some of my girlfriends, mate....I was the maestro of the clitoris...." Annie groaned and Terry pulled a face at his crudity.

"Left handed gun, mate, time for a new direction...you've still got your dick, so stop complaining...."

Annie shook her head and listened to them talk. She knew what this meant for her family. They were free to go home.  Maybe they would. Maybe they wouldn't. The catamaran wasn't finished yet. The tree house was undergoing renovations. The world kite flying finals were scheduled for next week.

Just then she heard the children on the stairs. "Give me my pen...! It's mine....it writes gold....you'll just scribble and waste it ....give it me.....Mummmmmmm! Liam stole my felt pen...."

Zoe came bounding into the room wearing a little flowery mini skirt and a bikini top. She was as brown as a berry and her long hair was braided. At the sight of Nick she stopped dead and suddenly fluttered her eyelashes, tossing her braids back and smiling coyly. "Hello...I'm Zoe..."

"Hello gorgeous, you got a date? I'm Nick and I drive a great car..." Nick gave her a wink and looked cockily at Terry who shook his head.

"She only dates men with their body parts complete, mate...and do not dare answer that in front of her...." Terry warned.

Zoe preened and continued to eye him up. "Where you from?"

"Same as you, love. God's own country...run away with me and I'll buy you a sheep farm...."

Zoe giggled and went to sit on her Dad's knee. "This is Nick, a friend of mine. Take no notice of him. Like Peter Pan, he never grew up. He thinks he's a bit of pin up..."

The little girl looked like she agreed with Nick. But before she could reply, Liam ran in and threw the pen at her. "Here's your stupid pen. It's run out anyway.... Who are you?" he asked grudgingly, eyeing up the stranger warily.

Nick struck a pensive pose. "Let me work this out now...which one took after you, Terry?" He chuckled to himself. "G'day, sport...My name's Nick...."

"Liam. What's wrong with your hand?" Liam went over and gave the bandage the benefit of his expert knowledge.

"I hurt it," Nick replied vaguely.

"I hurt mine - but my plaster was bigger," Liam said dismissively, clearly unimpressed. "Dad...can I go for a swim...?"

"Have you finished your schoolwork?" Terry asked.

"Yeah."

"He hasn't...he was carving his name into the plaster of the wall with a penknife instead of finishing his essay," Zoe said and pulled out her tongue at him.  Liam stuck up his middle finger in reply, making sure his Mum and Dad were out of vision. Nick saw it and grinned.

"Enough! I've heard enough. You - go and finish your work or you stay up there all day, mate. And you - " he stood his daughter back on her feet. "You stop telling tales. Next time you tell on him, you're the one in trouble..." Terry told her sharply.

He chased the kids out and Annie went off to prepare lunch 

"Great kids. Beautiful wife. Ya lucky bastard, hey?" Nick observed as they were left alone again.

"I paid my dues. I'm glad it all worked out. You did our country and the world a great service. But I can't say I want any part of it all any more. Or I even care much.  In the end, I got to a place where I couldn't tell the bad guys from the good. When I was doing shit that was indistinguishable from the other side. I've had it with moral ambiguity. Let someone else do it now. It all stinks to me."

Nick shrugged and drank back thoughtfully. "There's a big difference, mate. We did some dubious shit but we knew where we were going. The way I see it, boss, the world's a pretty fucked up place, so they need pretty fucked up guys like us to mop up their shit. But I'll tell you this for sure. I can hold my head up high and so can you. At the end of the day that's what counts. How you see yourself. If you can live with it - and the people who matter to you can live with it - then the rest of the world has to as well - or it can go fuck itself."

Terry smiled at the young man. He saw a wild, raw, reckless adventurer who was beginning to grow up and becoming a man to be reckoned with. It made him feel proud in an odd way. That he might have had some hand in what his young protégé had become, however absurd the notion was.

 Nick thought about Terry Thorne as they chatted and filled each other in about the missing months. It felt to him as if he had just come home. Terry seemed more like a father to him than his own had ever been.

They sat back and stared out across the sea. Drank a couple more cans. Wondered what they would do with the rest of their lives.

And breathed in the liberating air of freedom.