PART ONE

Dec 29th

Early morning. Disorientation. Where am I? Strange room. Hot, sweaty, can't breathe. Annie opened her eyes and reality bit. Terry's bed. Terry's body. Paradise. She looked about her and purred with contentment, unable to keep a stupid grin from her face as memories washed over her. Last night. Pleasure, tears and freedom-  a whole new world opening up and nothing to do but experience it. No more intellectualising of anything. I want him and for some unfathomable reason he wants me - and that is enough. Tomorrow can look after itself.

No wonder she was so hot. Terry was sleeping wrapped around her, his head on her breasts and his legs wound through hers, generating so much heat even on the cold winter morning. Annie could only see the top of his head and the profile of his face in sleep but it was enough to make her heart leap all over again. He looked so young and relaxed, more so than she had ever seen him before, even more than in the aftermath of their powerful orgasms of the night before. His lashes fluttered as he dreamed and he breathed deeply. He felt like a child in her arms although he was a man - and what a man! How can I love someone so much when I have only just met him? Two evenings together and one night before this and I feel like he has been with me for always. Am I mad? How can he possibly understand what he's doing to me? What is going on in his mind?

Easing herself gently from beneath him, Annie slipped out of the bed and surveyed the damage. She had no idea where her clothes were; had they stripped in the lounge or the kitchen? She remembered he had carried her to bed and they had been naked then- Oh, the memory of his final act of love after she had told him about Ben and wept in his arms! She shivered as she recalled him. The sheets of the bed were wrecked and pillows were lying on the floor among the debris of a bottle of champagne which they had drunk and used as some sort of body rub; half of it was leaking onto the polished floor; thank God it wasn't red wine! One lamp was lying on the floor by the bedside cabinet, bulb smashed, but fortunately the rest appeared in working order and there were condoms and wrappers everywhere, the drawers of the cabinet pulled open.

Quietly picking up and righting the disorder, Annie realised that she had better restore herself before he woke up- she wasn't yet confident enough for him to see her uncombed and unwashed; she smelt of sex and tasted of him- what was erotic at midnight might not be so appealing in the light of day! Entering the bathroom, she closed the door and contemplated turning the key. How ridiculous to feel embarrassed before him after what he knew of her by now. She resisted the temptation to lock the door. Staring at her self, she saw her pale cheeks flushed and her eyes heavy but burning- she had been well fucked. The obscenity made her smile. Her body was sore and she could see he had bitten her on her neck and belly- there was even a red mark at the top of her thighs- hickeys at her age! His stubble had irritated her face and groin and she could see the slight rash left by his passionate kissing. Investigating further, she touched her genitals- they were swollen and aching; he was a big man and she had been greedy- but no doubt her body would adjust to his size- after all it was months since she had even tried to have sex and then it had been half hearted. She had changed her mind before the guy had even penetrated her- he had not been pleased. The wild sessions she had enjoyed with Terry had been rather going in at the deep end after such a long dry spell!

She washed herself and brushed her teeth, pulling her fingers through her wild black curls, quite liking the thick profusion, all tangled and messy. She knew he loved her hair- he had constantly moaned over it and buried his face within it. His bathroom was typical of the apartment- elegant, rather sombre and stocked with expensive male products. Opening the cupboard, she found a bottle of J'Adore obviously left by some previous girlfriend and wondered why he had kept it. One day another woman will find some sign of me here and wonder too, she thought. What will I leave behind? Knowing me it will probably be a pile of books! Shrugging, she sprayed on the perfume and observed the finished spectacle. Naked, willing and completely unable to exert even a shred of self-control. God, I love this!

Back in the bedroom, he had rolled over onto his front and was hogging most of the bed, wrapped up in the remaining sheet. Annie knelt up by him and eased the sheet back from his body. She wanted to look at him. Those muscles that had felt so powerful as she had clung to him, looked just as good in daylight- broad, sinewy, heavy and contoured like an anatomical drawing. Sweeping her hand down his spine she stroked the well formed buttocks and ran her finger down his cleft until she could stroke his balls between his slightly parted thighs. Suddenly she realised he was not sleeping.

"Terry? Are you awake?" she whispered. He grunted. "For how long?"

"Since you touched me." He replied, still lying prone but beginning to flex his muscles like a great cat.

"Why didn't you say?"

"Felt too good. Wondered where you were going to next." He rolled over on to his side and grinned, lowering his eyes to the erection; it was impossible to miss.

"Jesus, Terry! Has it grown over night?"

"Morning, love. You'd be surprised what a few hours' sleep can do for a man!" He stroked himself and winced. "You sore?"

Annie nodded. "Red raw. You too?" 

"Jesus- I'm out of training. My dick feels like its been on the barbie."

"Pleasant imagery. I suppose you're just saying I'm so hot!" Annie's eyes sparkled. "So you don't feel up to finding a use for that fine example of blood-engorged penis this morning, I take it?" Terry laughed.

"You joking, love? Get your skinny ass back in this bed and I'll show you hot. But perhaps we better give it a rub with something - wouldn't like to do permanent damage. We've got a couple of days of this before I kick you out, darling."

He hoisted himself out of the bed and loped into the bathroom, completely at ease with his nakedness. She heard him urinate noisily and it made her smile- men just don't care, do they?- and  she had been thinking of locking him out. Then he flushed and returned with a jar of lubricant. " Better use some of this next time- although you were wet enough last night for Niagara Falls, Annie. I thought I was the one with the spunk," he giggled. Annie just lost it at the sight of him, standing there grinning, butt naked with a semi-erection bigger than most men at their best. She simply jumped at him, grateful for his lightning reaction as he caught her, wrapping her legs around him and covering his face with kisses.

"Steady on, Annie. What's up?" he spun her round and weathered her feverish assault.

"It's just... You're so... Terry- I ..."

"Thought it was me who hadn't mastered the Queen's English, love. Calm down. You feel good?" He was suddenly serious, his blue green eyes deepening as he looked into her dark blue ones, his breathing changing slightly.

"Me too. It's a bit overwhelming. Let's take it slow. Don't have to make sense of it all at once, eh? But Annie- this isn't some sexathon with a horny ex-soldier. This is deeper than that. I know that. You know that. Don't be scared of how you feel- and I won't be scared either. Promise?"

"You? Scared? I can't imagine you scared of anything," Annie gasped, stroking his hair and nibbling his ear as he stood holding her.

"It's all an act, Annie, baby. I'm fucking terrified. And I'm fucking freezing- let's get back to bed."

He placed her gently on the bed and straightened out the sheet, hauling the duvet cover from the floor and covering her, slipping in at her side. They lay side-by-side, warming each other with their bodies and contemplating the emotional roller coaster that was clearly sweeping them away.

"Why me, Terry? Why now? I can't help but feel inadequate with a man like you."

"Inadequate? Are you crazy, Annie?" He rolled over to rest on his side, leaning on his elbow, lightly stroking her face and hair with his other hand, observing her closely with that intense gaze of his. Annie could imagine how intimidating that might be if he were not your friend or lover. "You are everything a man could want but wouldn't dare hope for. I'm scared I'm not good enough for you. Don't ever doubt who is doing who a favour here."

Annie started at his words and sat up. "What?  Favour? Jesus, Terry- men and women! We just don't get each other, do we? I don't understand how a big, handsome, sexually assured, confident professional with a hard nosed exciting career like yours could want a skinny, boring little academic like me who has never amounted to much and probably never will. You must have had amazing women all over the world..."

"Look. Let me tell you something. Having a woman is not a big deal. I can afford to pay if I need to, otherwise I know I'm attractive enough to pick up in most hotel bars- do you think that is what I need in my soul? You are young and lovely and pure and fresh; untouched by the cynicism and corruption of the world I move in. But I rarely meet women like you and when I do- they are usually married or clients or just frightened off by me. Annie- if last night wasn't enough to make you see what you do to me - then even I have run out of ideas." Terry pulled her to him and lay her on her back, running his hands down her body, softly, sensuously, imprinting the feel of her on his palms. All the time he gazed at her, that smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"If you must know you are also exactly what I've always lusted after in a woman, too. I like women- all shapes and sizes but my secret fantasy? Slender, small breasted, white skin, delicate, deep blue eyes, long legged and that black hair- Jesus, it's like I made you for myself. Like a fantasy made flesh."

"Pygmalion."

"Huh?" Terry was beginning to lose the thread of the conversation; he had talked himself back to desire and was nuzzling at her breasts and running his hands up her thighs.

"Pygmalion. Made a statue of his ideal woman, Galatea, and she came to life. It's a famous Greek legend."

Terry lifted his head and fixed her a stare, resting his chin between her breasts. " I forgot to mention another of your qualities. Fucking encyclopaedia of useless information. I think I like that almost as much as your bum. Annie- I've had a, shall we say, number of women, in this bed before but I can truthfully say none of them have started lecturing me on fucking classical mythology while I'm on the job. Am I losing my touch or what?" he laughed.

"Erotica. You don't know the meaning of the word until you've read Ovid. Jesus, Thorne, have I got my work cut out with you. Now, don't let me stop you. Continue with your fantasy - so you like slender girls like me in your big hands and..."

"Contrast. I'm so big- stands to reason I'd be turned on by the opposite. Also easier to hoist up against a wall in an alleyway... because that usually features in my outdoor fantasies... or a tree, or a car...."

"You pervert. When can we try it? I've never done it outdoors. Unless you count a tent. I would so love to do it somewhere with people around- not actually watching but, you know, within earshot. You up for it?"

Terry looked towards the window. It was December 29th, blowing a gale and icy rain was hitting the glass. "Are you fucking mental? Freeze my bollocks off. Wait until the summer- if we ever bloody get one in this country. Or when I take you to Oz. Let's just be as inventive as we can in the warmth of my bed- hibernate until the spring. I'm from warmer parts, love, I'm very delicate."

He returned to her nipples and Annie sighed watching him. 'Delicate!' Actually he was. The way he touched her was so fine, as if his fingers were made of velvet and she of porcelain. But he spoke of the summer, months away, and 'taking her to Oz'. That was the future. They had a future. He was thinking long term. Down the line. Was that just pillow talk or what was on his mind? Relax, Annie. One day at a time. One moment at a time. One visit to ecstasy at a time.

His tongue traced a path down between her breasts until it reached her navel and he feathered it with kisses; Annie felt her back arch and the familiar flood of moisture. Travelling on he buried his face in her hair and muttered, " so black, so thick," before running his tongue down the crease of flesh between the top of her inner thigh and her groin, his breath on her intimate places but no other contact. As he wriggled down further in the bed, she raised her legs to her chest to allow him easier access to her, the glorious abandon of disporting herself for him as arousing as his touch. Terry groaned in approval as he stared at her and then he gave her a wink and returned to his lingual exploration. This time he licked her lazily the length of her slit from her swollen nub, along her red tinged lips, briefly investigating her deep dark hole and then beyond to the sensitive skin of her perineum and finally to the ring of her anus. Here he stopped and fluttered around, licking and moaning. Annie had never known such a feeling and cried out, a wild almost feral shriek.

"Fuck me, Terry. Do anything you like to me. I've never felt like this before," she gasped. Reaching for the lubricant, he smoothed it over his engorged cock and then returned to her, using his finger, coated in the gel to insert some into her passage. That alone almost brought her to orgasm. She was incapable of rational behaviour and felt as if some demonic force was driving her.

"Trust me, Annie. You'll like this. I won't hurt you...but I want to feel you without a rubber. I need to...."

At that, he turned her over and raised her to her knees, her head sunk in the pillow and her breath coming in gasps and moans. Terry inserted his finger again and massaged her gently, opening her up to him, hot waves shuddering through her body; this was unlike anything she had felt before. Suddenly she felt him grab her hip with one hand and thrust her towards him as he entered; something exploded inside her at the sensation of his hard hot velvet pushing into her tightness. He grunted and eased himself further in; Annie thought she would die of pleasure. But he wasn't finished with her yet. Dropping against her, he reached for her groin and inserted a finger into her vagina, and then another. "Rub your clit, Annie, do it for yourself. Do it for me," he whispered,   "...need you to come, I'm going to come..." Annie needed no encouragement. As he thrust into her and fucked her with his fingers, as she rubbed her own sex, she came with an orgasm quite unlike any she had ever known. It was pure lust, multiple stimulation but most of all it was the knowledge that here with this man she could push herself to the limits of her sexual experience and beyond and never need fear danger. Because he cared for her and she trusted him and he was everything she had ever dreamed of in a man. And many things she had never even knew existed.

Terry shouted as he came, bursting into her, emptying more than his seed into this woman. He felt like part of himself was deep within her forever: his soul? His essence? His heart? Could he have found the one thing he needed in this sweet, beautiful girl? He pulled away from her and they collapsed panting on to the bed, wrapped up in each other and their separate thoughts. His mind began to drift back towards sleep and a sudden unwanted image flashed before him. Dawn. Lying on satin sheets. A blonde tousled head beneath him, slender legs around his waist as he plunged deep and hard into her. She was moaning softly and crying as they came.

"Terry, I love you. I want you. What will we do?" And he had said nothing but stared at the lightning sky and the jungle covered slopes of the mountains in the distance. What would he do? Could he bear to lose what he had found? Accidents happen in a show like this one. No one expected a result. This was a last chance gamble. Who would blame him if the cargo didn't make it? But as he had thought it he knew it would not happen. He would save her husband and Alice would leave him. The script of his life had been written long ago.

"You're pretty quiet, Terry. Finally knackered you, have I?" Annie spun round and brushed the hair back from his face. Thousands of miles and a year and a half passed by in a flash as he returned to the here and now.

Maybe the script was undergoing some rewrites; perhaps the ending wasn't always sad. Something in this woman's eyes made him see a possibility that there was a future and some peace at the end of the line.

"No, love. The opposite. Woke me up. Just what I needed- someone to kick start my life." He smiled.

"Now I suggest a shower- we need some serious cleaning up after that. Then something to eat and then... I think we may need to make a list. Tick off what we've done and what we haven't. Because I have only just got started, princess. And I suspect you have a few ideas even I may not have heard of...!"

"Now you're talking, big guy. Just what I like - military precision in everything. A fucking list?  I'll bet you have kit inspection every morning, too."

"Kit off inspection. And we just had it. And everything is in working order..."

PART TWO

December 30th

"What is this exactly, Annie?"

"A fried egg."

"Looks like a used condom."

"Ha ha. I hate cooking eggs. Eggs make me sick."

"So, I meet this bird, wine her, dine her, take her dancing, give her the best seeing to of her life and it turns out she can't even cook eggs.  You'll be telling me next that you can't iron or do housework. That's it- out you go."

Annie threw a dishcloth at him. "I get the distinct feeling that you are only half joking, mate. I expect you are the macho sort who likes to keep his women barefoot and in the kitchen..."

"You left out pregnant." Terry gave up on the unappetising rubber egg that Annie had presented him with and poured himself a cup of tea. She really had to be the world's worst cook. Annie meanwhile babbled on as she shovelled muesli in.

"You've proved your fertility already so I guess you're not so concerned about that one. I'm a liberated woman, sweetheart, I don't wash your underwear, darn your socks or tend to any but your most intimate needs- and that's only after you've tended to mine. Women's world now, you know."

"Don't be too sure. I'll have you eating out of my hand in no time. Anyway I prefer my women naked and in the bedroom but you still better get some lessons in home economics, mate. Australian men take a dim view of sheilas who can't keep house. It's the second thing they were born for. You know why women have smaller feet than men?"

Annie eyed him up. "No, but I guess you do."

"So they can get closer to the sink," he smirked.

At that, Annie picked up a Sabatier carving knife from the block and advanced menacingly on him.

"Even an inexperienced knife thrower like me couldn't miss your big dick from here, Thorne. Watch it..." She should have taken her own advice. Terry moved- in one lightning action he had her by the hand, whirled her round and she was pressed against him with the knife perilously near her throat. "Wrong move there, Annie. You'll have to rely on emasculation with your sharp little tongue, love. Don't try and take me on my own territory." He smiled smugly.

Annie shook him off and looked him up and down, hands on hip. "Eventually you have to sleep. You always fall asleep afterwards- I'll have you then."

"Trained to respond to the slightest movement even when asleep. I'm even more dangerous then. Might think you were an enemy assassin and have to break your neck with my bare hands."

"Terry, you sleep like someone who's been dead a week. Don't exaggerate. Anyway, I abhor violence - as you know I'm a pacifist, which, of course, means I think all military people should be hung up by their balls. Actually the image of emasculating you with my 'sharp little tongue' is rather appealing. Be afraid, Terry, be very afraid..."

The phone in the office rang and Terry sauntered off to answer it. Annie watched him go, loving the sight of him in a pair of shapeless jogging pants and a rugby shirt. Whatever he wore he just seemed to look better and better and it wasn't just the sex. He made her laugh so much- they just talked non-stop and rarely agreed about anything- it was amazing. For the first time in her life, Annie had no desire to win every argument -although she still defended her right to have one. He seemed the same- loved to oppose her but didn't care if she shot him down. Sighing, Annie decided to clear up the kitchen; she wanted to show him that she could be domesticated if she wanted to be... oh dear, was he already working his machismo on her?

Terry picked up the phone. It was Dino.

"Should I swear now or later?" Terry asked.

"Jeez- you're in a good mood. You don't usually spare me your extensive vocabulary for cussing. Good Christmas?"

"Crap, mate, but New Year's shaping up nicely."

"So, Santa got Terry something tasty, did he? You must have been a good boy."

"Fucking saint, mate, to deserve this one. Don't you bugger this up for me! I'm on sick leave. Cracked ribs, mate. Out of action. For a few weeks."

"You seem to be managing- or is this woman satisfied with a mere platonic friendship? - somehow I don't see it, pal. No, this is an easy one. Nice little trip for you. Take the girlfriend. Geneva. Should be pleasant this time of year. UN seminar on international danger zones- they want a speaker on hostage taking and advice on its prevention. Don't be too specific on that one, Tio, we don't want to do us out of a job, do we?"

"When?"

"Next week- Jan 3rd. Someone read about you and wants you in on the meeting- great for business. I know how you love to talk." Terry swore and Dino laughed. " You could take her skiing- you know how these girls love a man on the piste." Terry swore again- this time even more profanely- but he was laughing.

"Get me booked on the 2nd. Two tickets- and I want 6 star hotels- make them pay. All expenses- I'm even charging my frangers. Now piss off and get one of your own. Happy New Year, mate."

'That worked out nicely,' thought Terry as he placed the receiver back. 'Geneva and then up to the mountains. Nothing like a day on the slopes for warming up the blood,' he mused. 'Wonder if she can ski? Probably not. But then he was hardly fit enough for cross country with his ribs in this state. No, nursery slopes, give her a few lessons and then take her back to the lodge for a schnapps- fuelled session in front of a log fire. Beats London in the rain!'

His eye alighted on a Polaroid that was wedged behind another snap on the wall. It was of Alice. Terry picked it up and looked at it, idly stroking her face with his thumb. He sighed deeply at the memory and shook his head. Opening the safe on the wall behind the white board, he threw it in and pulled out his diplomatic credentials. Quick clearance and special treatment- he reckoned Annie would like that, although it was hardly necessary for this trip. But it was one of the perks and it amused him to think of Annie's reaction to the diplomatic world - he had a feeling that diplomacy would never be her strong point.

Returning to the kitchen, to the unheard of sight of Annie washing up without anyone telling her to, he slid his arms around her and nuzzled against her neck.

"Is that bad news, Terry? Are you going somewhere?" Annie asked with an apprehensive note in her voice. It felt good to have someone want him to stay at home.

"'Fraid so. That's the way it is, love. Still we have a few days. See the New Year in at home here." He held her close and she turned round to face him.

"Will you be away long?"

"Could be months."

"Months?" He couldn't keep it up; her face was so crestfallen and her eyes were moist- Jesus, what kind of a bastard was he to wind her up like that?

"Take no notice of me, love. We'll be here until the 2nd and then we're off to Geneva. Can you ski?"

"Geneva? We? What are you talking about?"

"A little trip, strictly PR, UN and then up to the mountains for a New Year break. Fancy it?"

"We? You mean me?"

"Not on your own. I'm coming as well. Don't think even you could handle this seminar, unless you're also an expert on K and R. Well? Yes or no? I've already booked for two so I'll have to find another woman if you're not free. It's too cold to sleep alone in Switzerland this time of the year."

For the first time since he met her, Annie was lost for words. She started to speak and then changed her mind, throwing her arms round him and kissing him. They smooched like kids, laughing and nibbling at each other. Suddenly Annie pulled away.

"I haven't got anything to wear! What do you wear at the UN? Will it be a posh hotel? Can I ski? Can I buggery- not many mountains around Manchester." Annie launched into overdrive and Terry laughed and shook his head.

"Fuck- if you don't have it - buy it there. They have shops you know."

"At Swiss prices? I'm broke. I spent my clothing budget for six months on our last date."

"Then let me pay."

"NO!" He recognised that tone. That was her 'I'm a liberated woman - I don't let men keep me' tone.

"Fine. Then run up an overdraft. Or dress like a penniless lecturer. I don't give a fuck. You'll spend most of your time naked anyway- who gives a stuff what you wear on the piste?"

Right tactics. Annie eyed him up. "Are you on expenses?" He nodded. "OK, then- your assistant needs some working clothes. And you haven't bought me a Christmas present yet, you tight git. Let's go shopping."

She dashed upstairs to change and Terry smirked. 'Never sound too keen. Take it or leave it. No difference from negotiating,' he thought. 'Perhaps I am getting the hang of dealing with Annie.'

Meanwhile, Annie was upstairs, brushing out her hair and also smirking. 'Expert negotiator? Never pay for a proof of life? Aren't the bad guys ever women? Terry Thorne- you're a pushover!'

PART THREE

Dec 31st 

"Hi, Mel!"

"Annie, where the fuck have you been? I've been lying to your Mum for days. Even I began to think you might have had an accident...."

"In Terry's bed."

"For four days?" 

Annie grinned. "We had some catching up to do. What did you tell Mum?"

"That you were at the library. Some urgent project. Ring her, Annie- she's worried about you. She asked me if you were overworking or depressed. Seems you were a little distracted over the holiday."

"Drove me mad the lot of them. Don't look like that. I meet a guy and things click for the first time and first I'm bloody on and then I have to go home for Christmas- talk about delayed gratification..."

"Take it you've been gratified by now. How was it? All that Auntie Mel promised?"

Annie looked sharply at Mel and didn't reply; instead she went to her room and began packing her case. Mel followed her into the room. "What's up, Annie? Everything alright?"

"Yeah. Fine. I'm going away for a few days." Her tone was brusque.

"Annie, have I said something wrong? You seemed annoyed with me."

"Nothing. I'm just in a hurry."

"Going somewhere with him? Dirty weekend to follow the dirty week you've just spent..."

"Shut up, Mel. Don't talk about it like that."

Mel stared at Annie with her mouth open. "What have I done wrong? I only asked..."

"Look. I'm sick of your innuendo. OK- you slept with him. One night. You know nothing about him. It's not the same as you and him. He's special, Mel, and I don't want you to refer to what happened between the two of you again- do you hear me?"

"Annie- you've only known him five minutes. He's the first bloke you've had in years. Don't go crazy about him. He's dangerous- Annie, don't expect commitment from a guy like him- he hasn't got it in him. Please take it slow- I'm worried he'll hurt you."

"I'm a big girl and you don't know about us. He's different than you think."

"How?"

"I'm not discussing our private life with you."

"It's 'our' now, is it? I've known you since you were eighteen- don't dump me because he's on the scene- we're supposed to be friends. I guarantee in a few weeks you'll be crying on my shoulder when lover boy has moved on. And guess who will be picking up the pieces again?"

The doorbell rang and prevented Annie from replying but Mel could see she was furious. She pressed the intercom. "Hi, Mel. Terry." Mel raised her eyes and released the door catch. "Lover boy," she said to Annie.

"He was parking the car. I think he was giving us a little time. Thankfully not too much," she snapped.

Terry came in and stood leaning against the door, his hands in his pockets and looking awkward. The last time he had spoken to Mel he had been cruel and she deserved an apology- but he was unwilling to let Annie know what had occurred- it was not something that he was proud of. There was an atmosphere in the flat that you could have cut with a knife; Mel nodded a curt greeting and Annie stayed in her room, gathering clothes and cosmetics and the thousands of useless things women always need to bring with them. It was an uneasy silence.

"So you're going away, I hear? Somewhere nice?"

"Geneva and then Gstaad. For a few days."

"Sounds good. Work or play?"

"Bit of both."

"You look after her."

"I don't need any advice from you, Mel." Terry fixed her with a warning stare.

"Well, you're getting it anyway." She folded her arms and stared back at him.

Annie breezed into the lounge, dragging a suitcase and a vanity bag. Terry raised his eyes and exhaled.

"Is all that necessary?"

"Shut up. Carry the bag." She smiled at him and he shook his head, grinning. Mel noticed the sudden relaxation in his face at the sight of her friend. It surprised her. He seemed to melt when Annie walked in; was she wrong about him? Was this really something serious? As he picked up the luggage and left, Mel touched Annie's arm and held her back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. It didn't occur to me that... Annie, I care about you, that's all. I don't want to fight with you. Have a great time. What are you doing tonight?"

Annie put her arms around Mel. "I'm just a bit sensitive at the moment. This has knocked us both over. I can't work it all out yet. I'm sorry too. We'll talk soon- but don't expect details. It's too personal." She smiled.

"As for tonight- I think you'd call it schmoozing. Some party in Belgravia- something to do with his job. Can you see me bringing the New Year in at some embassy function? Who'd have thought it? However he's booked a hotel room nearby- so I expect we'll be tucked up by 12.05, seeing the New Year in Terry-style! And you?"

"Party at one of the partners' houses. I'm taking a rather cute Spanish guy I met in a club the other night. So don't worry about me. I'm sorted for the New Year too!"

"Mel- I wasn't worried- I never doubted you!!" They giggled and Annie kissed her before running after Terry. He was waiting in the car, a quizzical look on his face.

"Why so long?"

"Girl talk. Nothing you need worry your little head about. We don't always talk about you, you know." He narrowed his eyes as if hardly convinced and started the engine, pulling out rather wildly into the line of traffic, causing someone to horn him. Annie observed his expression; it was unreadable, the veil had come down. 'Hmm,' she thought to herself, 'he's a little insecure about Mel and me. Good. That means he has a conscience. That means he cares.' Leaning her head back against the leather, she reached over and stroked his arm. "I just told her to butt out. You and I are not her business."

Terry looked across and grinned ruefully. "Sorry, love. You know my temper."

"And you know mine. So that makes two of us signing up for the anger management course. And that wasn't really temper, Terry. That was a tantrum. But it was quite cute. Do you always sulk like that when you don't get your way?"

"Always. But then I usually get my way," he smirked.

"Don't get too cocky, mate. So do I!" Annie threw back.

PART FOUR

Jan 1st 

As the last bong of Big Ben sounded, Annie was seized by a rather large German military attaché who had been hanging round her all night and was swept up into his arms. "Happy New Year..."

"Could be. If you let her go that is. Otherwise you might find yourself in a fucking hospital, mate." Annie couldn't see Terry's face because he was standing behind her but there was something in his tone, half jocular, half deadly serious, which made the other guy take notice. He released Annie from the bear hug and inclined his head slightly. "My apologies, Madame. I did not realise you were accompanied." He moved off.

"Happy New Year, Annie." Terry was holding two glasses of champagne and his expression seemed chastened; he knew Annie would have something to say about his behaviour.

She took the proffered glass and raised it to his. "Happy New Year, Thorne. Good job I've decided Neanderthal is in this year, isn't it? Actually I was hoping you'd break his nose- don't you think you were a little restrained? I've always wanted men to fight a duel over me. However, if I may remind you, it was you who disappeared leaving me to that Teutonic letch - who was that woman you were talking to?"

"Just someone I used to work with. Pamela. But I'm all yours now." He raised his glass and they drank a toast. "To new beginnings, Annie. To the future."

She smiled. " eal it with a kiss then. In public. I dare you."

"Never dare me, Annie. You know the motto, "He who dares, wins."

"I know it in Latin, mate, way before the SAS took it over. Well, go on, prove it..."

And he did. That was Terry. One minute serious, professional, reserved and introspective and the next behaving like a hormonal teenager. What a combination! As he finally freed her lips and they became aware of the frisson of amusement around them, he whispered into her ear, "Think we've done enough damage to my hard man reputation for one night - time to get a room, Annie, my girl."

Annie pouted, "And I thought you were up for doing it in public."

Terry sighed "Only in my fantasies. There's a limit to my daring. Perhaps."

Moving through the elegant company, securing coats, they took their leave and made their way to the street outside. The night was cold and clear, the sky studded with stars, a firework display somewhere showering a sudden burst of light. Even on these prestigious embassy avenues there were revellers coming and going. Terry threw his arm around Annie's shoulder and pulled her close, cuddling her to him inside his wool overcoat. They strolled down the road towards their hotel a few blocks away, walking in silence but totally at ease. As they reached the end of the street, Terry suddenly pulled her round and took her face in his hands, tilting it and kissing her.

"I can't get enough of you. You taste so good. You look so good. I didn't tell you how beautiful you looked tonight. One minute you look like a school girl and the next like a sophisticated woman- how do you do that?" he smiled.

"Courtesy of the bags of useless 'shit' as you called it that I made you carry from my place today. It's only makeup and a sexy black dress. A woman's staples. So don't pull a face next time you have to cart my case- thought that was why men had muscles anyway!" Annie retorted but she raised her face to his again. " But I like the kisses- give me another!"

He shook his head.  "Too fucking cold for making out on the street. Let's get to the hotel." They walked on, hand in hand.

"Terry? Tonight. What was it about?"

"About?"

"Why were you invited?"

"Friend of the ambassador."

"Really? How come?" 

Terry stopped and looked thoughtfully at Annie. "A few years' back- on an earlier posting- his embassy was seized and the staff and guests held hostage for a couple of weeks. I led the team that got them out. He always invites me. Good bloke."

"Do you mean that famous Christmas party siege in..."

"Yeah."

"You were the leader of that? I saw it on TV!"

"You didn't see me. Those pictures were well censored- my face never gets into the public eye. Ruin my fucking cover if it did."

"Terry, do I really understand what you do?"

"Not really. But enough for now. It's just a fucking job, Annie. Someone's got to do it. Let's leave it for now, eh. I'll be back with that shit soon enough."

"Jesus- are you really the Outback's answer to James Bond?"

Terry hooted. "No, that was George Lazenby, mate. Although I must say I look pretty smart in a tuxedo, don't I?  Can you see me drinking vodka martinis? But I could take out Brosnan any day, with or without his fucking gadgets!" He boasted.

"Boys! Bet you were the cock of the school, eh?"

"The what?"

"Manchester expression. Doesn't refer to your sexual prowess although no doubt you'll claim that as well. Means the tough guy who runs the playground and pushes all the others around."

"I went to an all boys' school so I didn't flex my sexual muscles there. But I could look after myself. Had to really. Won a scholarship to a prestigious Sydney academy and took a lot of ribbing because I was from the wrong side of the tracks. Fucking sorted some of those toffee nosed tossers out."

"Bet that impressed the masters."

"Constantly sacked. But they kept giving me second chances."

"Why?"

"Rugby. Charm. Brains. I had them all."

"You forgot humility, Terry."

"Oh yeah, plenty of that too!" he grinned.

"So you were a bit brainy were you? You keep that well hidden, don't you?" Annie giggled.

"Girls don't like a nerd, Annie. But I did hit the books occasionally. Had ambition if little staying power in those days. Didn't want to end up like my old man and my brothers."

"What do you mean?"

"Ya know, typical Irish guys- charming but feckless. Drank half of what they earned or lost it on the horses. Fucking wasters. Left the women to manage on nothing."

"Why were you so different?"

Terry shrugged. "Saw it from my mother's point of view. Guess I always had a sensitive side. My Dad and I did have some blues, though. I used to face him up and he'd give me a good hiding. Until I grew too big and then he backed off."

"Did he hit your Mum?"

"No way. He wasn't that kind of bloke. Just regularly belted his kids. Loved Mum. She loved him too. He could always work his charm on her."

"So that's where you got it from! Why did you join the army, Terry? Not an obvious career path for an Irish scholarship boy from Sydney."

"It was either that or the priesthood and I don't think I'm really cut out for celibacy," he laughed.

"When I was about fifteen, I started running with a gang. You know, stealing cars, minor breaking and entering. One of my older brothers, Mickey, found out and gave me a thumping. Luckily, I had no police record. He introduced me to the army cadets. Said I needed an outlet for my energy and singular talents. Gave it a go and got hooked. It was a way to leave home, too. Joined up as soon as I was old enough. My Dad nearly disowned me."

"Why?"

"Come on, Annie. You're Irish, if somewhat middle class. Army? My Dad was a Fenian by inclination. When I came home and told him I'd been accepted into the SAS- that was it. Never spoke to me again. Called me a 'right wing British arse licking bastard traitor.' I was in Northern Ireland when he died. Heart attack." Terry looked down and exhaled. "What the fuck am I talking about him for? Haven't thought about him for years."

Annie put her arms around his waist under his coat. " 'Cos you need to. Otherwise it wouldn't have come out. Because I understand. Because we're not just about bonking, Terry. Are we?"

They had reached the hotel. He turned to her and put his arms round her. "Much more than that, Annie. But I think it's time to bonk, now- don't you?" He grinned and pulled her by the hand inside.

"Like it?" It was a small exclusive Park Lane hotel, formerly a gentleman's club. Annie surveyed the scene.

"This must cost a fortune. Are you really loaded, Terry? If you can afford this for an overnight stop just because you've drunk too much to drive home then your job must be even more dangerous than I thought."

Terry put his finger on her lip. "I asked you if you liked it. I didn't offer to show you my credit worthiness. Like it?"

"'Course I do. But we haven't any luggage. What will they think?"

"That we're here for sex. That you're a high- class tart. That I'm a gigolo- who the fuck gives a shit? Loosen up, Annie, or how you ever going to get up the nerve for that outdoors experience you keep promising me?"

Terry went to the desk and checked in. They strolled to the lift and he fished around in the inside pocket of his overcoat, pulling out a small leather bag.

"Emergency pack. A good soldier never leaves home without one." Annie took it and looked inside; she laughed. "You think of everything. Do you always have every eventuality covered?" It contained toothbrushes, condoms and a razor.

"Somebody has to, Annie. I've a feeling organisation is not one of your talents! And I didn't slip a disc carrying it around unlike your luggage- please take note." Annie pulled her tongue out at him and he made a grab for her but was thwarted when the lift doors opened and an elderly couple stepped in with them. Terry and Annie stood side by side in apparent innocence although Annie did have her hand in his trouser pocket, attempting to play 'pocket billiards' while he concentrated on keeping his face straight. Both were very relieved to reach their floor and the privacy of their room. It was time to renew their acquaintance.

PART FIVE

January 2nd 

Travelling with Terry was obviously something Annie would have to get used to. Limo to the airport, clearance through diplomatic channels- he was recognised and on first name terms with the officers- whisked through to the plane- no waiting around or two hour check ins, no delays and endless cups of tasteless airport coffee. That was Annie's previous experience of air travel. Today she felt rather overwhelmed and naVve in his company; unsure of what to make of this other world of which she had no knowledge - of special privileges and deferential treatment. Terry seemed to take it all in his stride; Annie felt gauche.

"You're a bit quiet, Annie. You OK?" Terry asked as they were being served drinks after take off.

"Yeah. Feel a bit...like a kid in the grown ups world. I hope I don't embarrass you, Terry. I'm uncomfortable with all this special treatment. I like it but I'm not used to it. I'm wondering whether it shouldn't be against my principles."

"Never helped yourself to any university equipment without paying? Pencils? Paper? Chalk?"

"We don't use chalk. That's hardly the same thing."

"Same thing, different scale. Annie, you could buy and sell almost anyone we are going to meet- on all levels: brains, beauty, wit, personality. Realise it. Most of the world is full of brainless fuckwits with the gift of the gab and PhDs in bullshit. You're the real McCoy, mate. Use it. Make them squirm. Even sergeant major Penny was intimidated by you."

"What? What did she say?" He had Annie's attention now.

"Wondered what attracted a bright shining star like you to a bastard like me. Something along those lines."

"Cow. Does she talk about you like that to Harry?"

Terry shrugged. "Don't think so. She's a good mother and keeps the impression of civility when he's around but she must give him negative vibes about me. He treats me like a stranger. I am a fucking stranger. I don't know anything about him and he doesn't know anything about me. At least my Dad and I fought - he got a reaction out of me. With Harry- it's like he's scared of me. I just clam up and act all stern and ...I don't know. Can't explain it."

"You might be reading him wrong. He seemed worried about you. It's never to late to try, you know. I'm good with kids. I'm a teacher. Let's get him down, away from the Ice Queen and that poncy school and see if we can't loosen you both up a bit."

Terry looked over at her. "You'd do that? Spend some time with my son? Why?"

"Why? Why not? He's your son. He's part of your life. If I want you, he's an important part of the package. Terry- it's what people do for each other when they are in a relationship. You are always taking care of people. Don't you ever let anyone take care of you?"

The idea seemed to strike him as novel. "I don't usually hang out with that type of girl, love. They don't have room for my issues."

"Then they are fools. Your issues are almost as appealing as your eyes; and we are talking serious appeal there, boy." Annie squeezed his hand. "Get me some more of that champagne, Terry. My inhibitions are just beginning to ease."

"Steady on, love. I don't want you causing an international incident even before we land, do I darlin'?"

Annie thought about what he had said. How strange. Penny intimidated me, I intimidated her. Harry intimidates Terry, Terry intimidates Harry. What are these protective layers we erect around our insecurities? Why can't we just open up and talk freely?  Penny and I? Somehow Annie realised that hell would have to freeze over first before civilised behaviour would break out between the two of them. Penny might have kicked Terry out years ago but she still regarded him as personal property - and to be replaced by a younger smarter model rather than some sexy little bimbo whom she could look down on? Annie smirked at the knowledge that La Penelope was put out by her and determined not to feel inferior next time they met. But the question of Harry was more serious; Annie was definitely going to interfere in that one. What better way to this man's heart than helping him establish a bond with the child he clearly adored- and Harry seemed to be a great kid. It would not be a chore having him around. It wasn't manipulative if what you wanted and what he wanted happened to coincide, was it?

PART SIX

Jan. 3rd

It was obvious to Annie from the outset that Terry did not like this kind of assignment. It wasn't a lack of confidence in his abilities to address an audience - he must have had years of briefing and debriefing both in the army and with Luthan but it was more a lifetime habit of being inconspicuous that made him uncomfortable in such a public arena. Terry liked to be able to observe and to be detached from the crowd- basically he was used to working undercover as part of a team or, more recently, alone, and had no interest in currying favour with officialdom. That was more Dino's area of expertise but Terry knew that it was part of management and he would do what was expected of him and do it well. But she could see that he was tense and distracted that morning and, for the first time, rather uncommunicative with her.

Annie took the hint. She left him working on some notes on his laptop and made the excuse of sightseeing to leave him alone; he arranged to call her when he knew what were the plans for the evening. Geneva was new to her and there were a lot of things she wished to see- Annie was usually an inveterate sightseer. But after a few hours Annie realised that she was distracted too.  Frankly she found Geneva rather boring; picturesque but boring. It was far too chocolate boxy and tame when she was feeling sexually charged and wanted danger and a city with more of an edge. Visits to museums and art galleries, to the Jet d'Eau and the Flower Clock seemed tedious in the extreme. Annie kept checking her watch and her phone. By mid afternoon, she gave up and returned to the hotel. The empty hotel room seemed uninviting so Annie visited the beauty salon and had her hair put up in a rather elegant topknot that seemed more in keeping with the function she would attend in the evening. Then she had her nails painted; it was six p.m. by now and still no word.

Returning to their room, she ran a bath, hoping he might turn up but he didn't; so she dressed and made up carefully, taking as long as possible to kill time. Annie realised that she was completely obsessed with being with him at the moment; she couldn't even read a book or watch TV to kill some time. Several times she had the urge to ring him but restrained herself; she didn't want to seem neurotic or clingy- although, of course, that was exactly what she was becoming. ' I have to sort myself out. I'm becoming a complete drip' she thought.

At seven, he rang. "Sorry, love, it's been busy. Couldn't get away. Thought you would have rung to see what I was playing at. Had a good day?" Annie assured him she had been really busy too and kicked herself for not ringing him. She should have been cool and given him a call instead of hanging by the phone like a stupid girl. " Can you meet me here? This thing ran over so we went straight to the reception. There are cocktails until eight and then dinner." He gave her the name of the hotel and restaurant and told her to ring reception to arrange a cab; he didn't want her hanging around in the foyer.

"I'll be there when I'm ready," she lied and hung around for half an hour because she didn't want him to know that she had been sitting dressed and waiting for his call.

William Berger moved through the crowd and slapped Terry Thorne on the back. "Thought you'd never stop brown-nosing with the top brass, you ole bastard. You're certainly moving up in the world, aren't ya?"

Terry turned round and smiled at an old friend. It was years since they had seen each other. Then he'd still been in the army and Bill had been with US special forces- they had worked together in the Gulf. Since then he had heard that Bill had moved into Washington- he was some sort of security advisor now.

"Jesus, Bill - great to see you, mate. They don't still allow you near the president, do they?"

"Terry- they couldn't run the country without me."

"Now I remember why I don't move to the States." They laughed.

"Impressive talk today, Terrence. You've been in some interesting places since we last met. I keep hearing about you. Got quite a rep- hear you and Dino got your own little outfit now. Where is the little pixie these days?"

"New York. Running the HQ. Makes me do the dirty work. You know I can never say no."

Bill's attention seemed to wander.  He whistled. "I certainly couldn't say no to her. Check that little honey out. I suppose she's with one of the ministers. We might have the looks, Terry, but chicks of that calibre always go for some old guy with money or power- life just ain't fair, boy."

Terry followed Bill's line of vision and realised that he was looking at Annie; she had just entered the room. For the first time he looked at her as a woman, not as Annie, but as she appeared to the rest of the world and he was almost knocked out by the realisation of just how beautiful she was. There before him was a stunning elegant woman, dressed in a dark red sheath dress that made her look as slim as a wand and so classy. Her hair was shining and piled high, revealing her long white neck and she was standing by the door, looking around with that wide eyed gamine look she had. There was hardly a man in the room (which was 95% male) who hadn't noticed her. Then she saw him and smiled, her eyes lighting up, wrinkling her nose and the playful grin spoiling the sophisticated poise so perfectly; Annie could not for the life of her affect an air- thank God. She was always herself. 'I have never met anyone like her in my life,' Terry thought.

"What's up, big guy? Not like you to clam up at the sight of feminine perfection- that usually sets you in overdrive. Getting old are we..." And then the penny dropped, "Jesus, Terry- she's your girl?"

Terry grinned at his friend. "Sorry to disprove your theory, mate. But this one goes for real men. Just watch what you say. She's a lady and she's mine and..."

"So no chance of a threesome later?" Bill grinned back, referring to a night long ago in the Middle East when women had been thin on the ground and friends had had to share.

"You mention that and I'll rip your fucking head off, mate!" Terry warned.

"Mention what, Terry?" Annie asked as she joined them.

"That you have ears like a hawk. Bill- meet a friend of mine- Anna Dwyer. Annie- William Bergen. Watch your step, love- he's an ex-soldier but he isn't housetrained like me."

"Christ, you must be an animal if you're worse than him!"  Annie laughed as they shook hands.

"Call me Bill. Only the president calls me William."

"The president? THE president? Jesus- where am I? Call me Annie, Bill, but I promise if I ever meet the president- I'll make him call me Anna." The ice was broken. Within a few minutes another world-weary ex-soldier was eating out of Annie's hand. Terry watched the performance with a slight frown. Annie had no idea of the affect she had on men. Why had this beautiful woman remained unclaimed for so long? How could he hold her with a lifestyle like his? Terry smiled inwardly. He would think of something. He liked a challenge. And the idea that he might win the heart of this singular girl intrigued him- 'Gget this one right and you're home free, mate' he thought.

Later that night, much later, after a formal dinner and then an informal visit to a nightclub with Bill and a few other old acquaintances, Terry and Annie returned to their hotel. It had been a long day but both of them were well pleased with the results. Annie knew that she had not let him down- whatever his friends thought of him with a woman like her, Annie knew that they had had fun and - what the hell- so had she. If she had known quite what had been passing through the eyes of the other men she would have been surprised. But then Annie had no vanity or sense of herself as others saw her. Somewhere along the line her development in that area had been arrested.

She was sleepy and walked through the hotel with her head resting against Terry, his arm around her. When they reached their room, Annie threw off her coat, flopped down on an armchair, and kicked off her shoes. "I'm shattered. I'm too sleepy even to undress. Undress me, Terry."

Terry had pulled off his jacket and tie and gave her a look. "I do that and you'll never get any sleep, love."

"Just roll my nightie down when you've finished," she teased.

"You think you can sleep through one of my specials?" He replied advancing, already bare-chested and zipping and unzipping his fly, tantalising her. Terry knelt down before her and ran his hands up her legs beneath the tight fitting dress, groaning when he reached her thighs to realise that she was wearing hold up stockings and he was touching naked flesh. "Heavens above!" he sighed archly and Annie replied:

"You better believe it, sweetie."

Peeling off one stocking he kissed the sole of her foot, sensuously sucking each toe, keeping eye contact with her throughout. Then he repeated the action with the other. He returned his hands to her legs, feeling his way up the outside until he reached the lace of her tiny panties and slipped them down. Raising them to his face he inhaled her scent and then tossed them down. Suddenly, he pulled her by the hands to raise her back from the easy chair and expertly unzipped her dress, sliding it down and to the floor. Her bra gave him little problem and he smiled in satisfaction as he leaned her back and looked at her naked body. Running the tip of his tongue over his lips, he opened her thighs and licked slowly from her knee to her groin, burying his face within her and whimpering as he pleasured her. Annie rolled her head back and closed her eyes almost unable to bear what he was doing to her, attempting to wriggle away from him but, as he held her clitoris between his lips and gave her such exquisite torture, she was helpless and called out his name until she came.

"Not asleep yet?" Terry emerged from between her legs, a satisfied look upon his face; he loved to service her as much as he loved to receive himself.

"Unfair advantage. How's a woman to sleep through such sensory stimulation? You don't play by the rule book," Annie vainly protested.

He stood up and began to remove the remainder of his clothes; Annie watched from half closed eyes. She loved to see his strong hands unzip and take off his pants almost as much as she adored how his black silk shorts failed miserably to contain his erection. He pulled them off and kicked them away, picking her up and nuzzling her ear as he whispered what he wanted to do to her. Terry laid her on the bed and in silence they observed each other as Annie unwrapped a condom and rolled it on. With little ceremony, Terry lowered himself down on her, not ungently but with an urgency that suggested a loosening of his control.

Thrusting into her, Terry was pleased that he had drunk enough to slow him down; he wanted to feel her for as long as he could tonight. Annie felt even more languid and sinuous beneath him than usual; her rhythmic tightening driving him almost to lose his iron discipline. He felt like he wanted to let go but was afraid he might hurt her in his desire to possess her completely. As she responded, he went deeper and faster and felt his head swim with the sensation.

Annie was aware of something different in his mood. Somehow she knew he was near to losing it and wished he would; she was not afraid of him and desired to feel his power and strength unfettered. One day he would lose it completely- she would do her best to encourage him, knowing it was what he needed and that he would be amenable to anything she suggested.

"Terry- fuck me harder- faster- deeper. I can take it. Oh God..." He did what she asked and it was too much for both of them. He hammered into her and they both came wildly; he slumping down upon her. They lay like that for moments until:

"Annie- you OK?"

She pretended to snore.

"You are not asleep. Be serious. I thought I hurt you."

"No. You just about managed to keep my interest."

"I take it you like a bit of rough, then?" Terry grinned and adjusted his weight until he was right on top of her and she could hardly breathe.

"What the fuck do you think I sleep with you for?" she choked. 

Terry rolled away and pulled her against him; they snuggled close, legs entwined...

"Terry?"

"Hmmm?"

"You are the best. I love making love with you. I can't get enough of you... Terry? Terry! Are you asleep?"

She turned round to find that he was not listening to her; he was fast asleep. Annie smiled at him, brushing his hair back from his face and stroking his cheek. "Oh God, Terry. I love you so much. I- LOVE - YOU! I wish I had the courage to tell you. But I guess I would scare you away. Oh, how I wish you could feel like that about me!"

PART SEVEN

Jan 4th

"Actually- you're pretty good at this, you know." Terry was surprised at the facility with which Annie had grasped the basic principles of skiing.

"Don't sound so surprised. I'm a good athlete. I was on the netball team, athletics, swimming, football and gymnastics- and I studied ballet for twelve years. Just 'cos I can't cook and keep house doesn't mean I'm useless at all physical pursuits.

"You certainly are good at some physical pursuits, love." Terry grinned, "but I didn't have you down for a skier."

"You're such a big head, you know. Anyway- how did you learn to ski? Not many slopes in Sydney, I'd say."

"SAS. I volunteered for the cold weather stuff seeing as I had plenty of jungle experience from the Aussie army. Spent some time in Alaska..."

"Is there anywhere you haven't been?"

"Manchester."

"My God- how have you survived without a trip to the most happening place in the Universe ? Are you hard enough for it, though? They'll eat you alive up North, you know."

"Fucking terrified. If the women are like you, God knows what the men are like."

"My bum's wet, Terry. I've sat in the snow too many times. Let's call it a day."

They made their way to the ski lift and waited their turn.

"Can you skate? I can." Annie suddenly asked.

"I can get by. I ski better."

"I bet you can parachute, can't you?"

"Yeah."

"I'd die. I'm scared of heights."

"I'll take you on a tandem jump some time. You'd like it. I'd do the jump- you just have to hang on and enjoy."

"No chance. I'd die of fear. Really- I'm a complete coward. I won't bungee, paraglide- I don't even go on the rides at amusement parks."

Terry laughed. "Live. Take a chance. When your number's up, your number's up."

"Can you ride a horse?"

"Yeah."

"Sail?"

"Yeah."

"Fly a plane?"

"Single engine. Helicopter. Don't have jet licence but I'd like to..."

"Scuba?"

"Yeah."

"Speak French?

"Yep. And German. Pretty good Russian. Some Italian, passable Spanish and basic Bahasa Indonesia."

"Latin? Greek?"

"You got me there, love."

"Ha! Knew you were a light weight!" Terry shook his head and grinned.

"Can't impress you, can I?"

"Want a bet? I'm pretty impressed by your... but mustn't let you get too sure of yourself. Might go to your head." It was their turn on the lift. They sat down and Annie buried her face against his chest.

"What's the matter?"

"I'm scared. I hate going down. Just don't want to see."

Terry held her to him and stroked her hair; she was completely unpredictable. One moment full of confidence, the next all girly. "Let's go to bed, Annie. I want you so much," he whispered. She looked up at him and smiled.

"I'm not scared of those heights, sweetie. You can take me to paradise whenever you like."

Hours later, Terry opened his eyes; it was early evening. Annie was kneeling on the bed by him, wearing a flannel shirt of his, unbuttoned, and brushing her hair. He watched her, taking in the soft and creamy contours of her naked body as she hummed to herself dreamily. She seemed unaware that he was awake and he lowered his eyes, so that he could observe her in secret. Suddenly she began to sing softly and it surprised him. Firstly because she had a beautiful voice, clear and true and secondly because Annie was rarely sentimental and her choice of song struck him as out of character; or perhaps she was usually unwilling to reveal her emotional side to him.

'The first time ever I saw your face,
I thought the sun rose in your eyes.
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave 
To the dark and the empty skies, my love.

The first time ever I kissed your lips,
I felt the earth move in my hand.
Like the gentle heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command, my love.

Terry opened his eyes fully and smiled at her; she blushed but kept on singing softly.

The first time ever I lay with you, 
I felt your heart beat close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And would  last until the end of time, my love

"I didn't know you had a voice, Annie."

"Used to sing in the Bach Choir at Uni. I love to sing. I can express things I can't say, Terry, when I sing."

He nodded. "You don't need to say everything, baby. Your body already tells me enough."

Annie snuggled against him. "Does life get any better than this?" she thought.

Half an hour later, she regretted her thought. Terry's cell phone rang and he freed himself from her arms to answer it. Annie watched as he spoke and recognised the change in his demeanour. His voice was brisk and businesslike, quiet and professional. He hung up and she saw him rub his hand down his face before turning back to her. It was obvious it was bad news.

"Something's come up, Annie. We have to go back to London. I have a new assignment. I'm so sorry." She could see that he meant it; he had a pained look on his face. This was as hard for him as it was for her. Annie knew it was not the time for smart remarks- he needed her support.

"It's not your fault. Someone needs you more than I do. When do we have to go?"

"Tonight. I'm flying from Heathrow tomorrow afternoon. I have things to sort out first."

"Let's get packing. When is the flight?"

"11.15."

"Time for a shower?" Annie smiled.

"Always time for that. Even time for a quick one if you're game."

"One for the road, Terry."

PART EIGHT

Jan 5th 

Back at the flat, Annie wandered around listlessly as Terry packed and made a few phone calls. She had gathered her belongings and was aware that the taxis would be here soon -she would go home and he would fly off to potential danger. Neither seemed inclined to talk much although there seemed to be a lot of unspoken thoughts hanging in the air.

Suddenly Annie decided that she didn't want to let him go without him knowing something of how she felt; she walked into the office to speak to him. Terry was standing before an open safe, which was hidden behind the white board. He was handling weapons. Annie forgot what she had come in for as she stared at the sight of him checking several guns and loading them into a small lined case.

"What are you doing, Terry? They're guns. You can't take guns on a plane."

Terry whirled round and grimaced. He ruffled his hand through his hair and exhaled.

"I have the authority to carry them."

"On a plane? You can't get them through screening."

"I won't be screened. What do you think I carry diplomatic papers for? And I have an international gun licence. It's standard in my line of work."

Annie stared at him. "You carry a gun? Why? You're just a hostage negotiator. What do you need a gun for?"

Terry said nothing. He looked thoughtful and carried on packing the case, adding a few small boxes, which she presumed were bullets or whatever these guns used.

"Terry. I asked you a question. If you carry a gun that must mean you are prepared to use it. Why would you need to use a gun?"

He paused. "I don't intend to use it, Annie. But I will if I have to. Let's just hope I don't."

"You would kill someone? Is that what you do? Do you shoot the kidnappers? What gives you the right to play God? You're no better than they are." There was a silence as they confronted each other.

Terry's expression was dark."I don't play God. But these people do. What do you want? For them to pull a gun on me and shoot me down? I'll use it to defend myself and anyone else who needs defending. These people are fanatics; life means nothing to them. Get real, Annie. Get down from the liberal fence and wake up."

Annie bridled. "Terrorists have an agenda and it's mostly the result of western incompetence or downright corruption that causes them to do such desperate things. You are just a tool of the western propaganda machine."

"While you sleep soundly in your bed at night, honey, remember what keeps you safe. There are people like me soaking up the shit for the rest of you. Don't accuse me of being anyone's fucking tool. Have you any idea what these people can do to a hostage- and that's apart from the long-term psychological damage? No cause allows you to terrorise the innocent, destroy someone else's life, spread fear and hatred."

His anger was apparent although he spoke quietly; in fact his control was more frightening than if he had lost his temper. Annie realised that she was speaking of things about which she had no knowledge but the notion that he might have to take a life was almost incomprehensible to her.

"How can you live with yourself if you kill someone? How do you know they are the real guilty ones? How do you sleep at night?"

"Soundly- as you know. Annie, I do what I believe is right. Don't you know me well enough by now? Do you think I would take any pleasure from such a thing? Please Annie, don't be naVve. I need to know that you understand. Don't make a snap judgement- this is not your field of expertise. Think of the person you care most about in the world. What would you be prepared to do to save that person? Wouldn't you want that person to have someone like me on their side if they needed it? "

"When you saved that little girl, did you kill anyone?"

Terry frowned.

"You did, didn't you!"

"We blew up a mountain fortress. An entire weapons dump. A communications centre. There were a couple of hundred people there. How the fuck do I know how many died or were injured? It was the only way to save the child and get out alive. If you can't stand the blood on my hands then you better walk now, Annie. I can't be something that I'm not anymore than you can."

Annie did not reply but stood and thought deeply. She wasn't a fool. She knew enough about war and cruelty from her historical studies to know that some measure of violent response was warranted to save the innocent. But Terry was so tender and loving to her that she found the thought that his hands might also destroy life hard to accept. However she trusted him and loved him and that meant supporting him and giving him the benefit of the doubt. It was also clear from his expression that her words had hurt him deeply and she didn't want him going away with that as his final memory of her.

"Terry?" Her voice was low and hesitant. He shot her a look as he closed the safe.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I have no right to accuse you. I don't really understand what your work entails but I can't think you would be thoughtlessly cruel. You are the finest man I've ever met. I just hate guns. After what happened to Ben... I couldn't bear for anything to happen to you..."

He walked over to her and took her face in his hands. " I swear I will never take a life unnecessarily or a needless risk. But I can't say I'll never have to kill again or that I can walk away from danger. That's my life, love. That's what I do. You have to take the whole package, Annie- or there's no point in us."

She nodded and he wiped away a tear that ran down her cheek...

"Will you be here when I get back?" Terry spoke with a desperate edge to his voice.

She nodded again. He relaxed a little.

"I'll call you as often as I can or email you if I can't. I'll miss you, Annie. Every day. But I'll come back. I promise you. If you want me, I'll be your man. Do you want me, Annie? Tell me. I need to know."

Annie rested her head against his chest and fought to regain her self control. Wiping her eyes and sniffing, she swallowed and raised her eyes to his.

"I want you, Terrence Thorne. I need you. I'll be waiting, however long it takes. And I'll think of you every minute of every day. Just take care of yourself and no risks."

Terry leant down and kissed her softly, his longing already plain in the tenderness of his lips. They heard a car horn down below and she knew her taxi was here.  He carried out her luggage and put her in the cab. As the door closed, she rested the palm of her hand on the car window and he covered it with his left hand through the glass. Taking his right hand, he pressed it against his heart as the cab pulled away.

Annie watched until the car turned the corner and he was out of sight. Sinking back into the seat, she tried to work out what had happened to them in the last nine days. Did he feel the same as she did? Did he love her too? If he didn't, it was something almost as good. He needed her, he wanted her and he was coming back to her. That was enough to see her through.

Terry watched the cab disappear. Had she accepted what he had tried to tell her? Did she understand how he felt? Would the moral ambiguities of his life be acceptable to an intellectual like Annie who dealt in ideals and philosophical principles rather than harsh realities? He had to believe that she was able to make that leap of faith; he was already in so deep that losing her now would destroy him. He was way past salvation this time.