PART ONE

Friday evening

Annie was in the kitchen preparing dinner, a look of fierce concentration on her face. Cooking was not one of her talents but she was determined to excel herself this time. The worktops were covered with ingredients, utensils and open cookery books. The elegant modern kitchen had rarely known such activity. Certain changes had been made in the room of late: herbs on the windowsill, a large glass vase full of daffodils on the worktop, brightly coloured hand painted pottery on the display shelves. Chopping herbs, Annie brushed a shiny black curl from her face and checked the time. He would be home soon.

Checking on the contents of the oven, noting with relief that everything was as it should be she said" Thank you, Delia!" in tribute to the TV chef whose recipe she was following; Mel said her recipes NEVER went wrong even when a total klutz like Annie was cooking. Into the main room Annie carried glasses and cutlery, arranging them on the dining table where she had already set candles and a bottle of wine to chambrer.

The lounge had also gone through a facelift. Where a few months ago it had been a hi- tech, minimalist bachelor apartment, there were now obvious signs of a woman's touch. Thai silk cushions in vibrant jewel colours lay scattered on the white sofas, bronze based Indian lamps and vases of white lilies graced the rosewood side tables and of course there was the dining table itself, a large unpolished Indonesian teak to complete the quasi-Asian influences already in the room.

Glancing around, lighting a few candles and dimming the lights, Annie felt the rising excitement, which she always experienced when he had been away and was coming home. It had been more than a month since he had left and, although they spoke regularly on the phone, it was slim compensation for his absence. There was also the latent fear that something terrible might happen to him. Once before she had lost someone she loved and he had only gone to the store. Terry was walking into minefields most of the time.

The past five months had been some of the best of her life, despite the times they had been separated. Although little had been formally declared between them, there was an understanding that they were together and this was how it was going to be. For now it was enough to be his girl and be there for him when he needed her. Where it would end, if it would end, Annie did not contemplate. Terry Thorne was not a regular guy and she knew that a life with him would require compromises and a lot of loneliness; maybe that would be too much for her to stand in the long run. But for now it was more than enough to spend exquisite nights of passion in his arms and days of laughter and mayhem- you never quite knew what Terry would think of next.

There were clearly two Terry Thornes. The consummate military man: acutely intelligent, controlled, watchful, capable of brutality and devastating acts of courage and then there was the other man: warm, loving, funny, sensuous, half crazy and so tender it could make her weep. Tonight he would be somewhere in between; returning from what had been a difficult operation which had achieved only partial success, he would be carrying a load and Annie was determined to be the one to lift his burden. Not much of a sacrifice- the ministrations required would hardly be a chore.

She checked out of the kitchen window for the signs of a taxi for the umpteenth time that evening. He never had check-in luggage so he would be quickly out but it was Friday and traffic was invariably bad on the motorways.  As she peered out, Annie noticed a car that she had seen earlier, not in the parking bays, but by the path to the lobby door. Her attention had been caught then by a man who was standing on the pavement, leaning back on to the driver's door. He was still there. As she watched him, he glanced up and met her eyes. Pulling away from the window, Annie felt a little spooked. He wasn't the sort of person one expected to see around there: more the football hooligan or yob, shaved head, tattoos and earrings. Perhaps one of the residents had earned their money in something dodgy and he was one of the gang. Still, she would mention it to Terry; the apartment was often unoccupied- maybe he was casing the place to see if anyone was home. He'd get a shock if he came up against Terry; she almost wished he'd give it a try.

Terry lay back in the black cab and stared out of the window as they edged bumper to bumper in the dense outer London traffic. He exhaled deeply, relieved to be home. Home.

In the past he had grown to dread the inevitable loneliness waiting for him when he returned from tense assignments and needed company and light. Now he couldn't wait. Annie said she wouldn't be there until late; she had a department meeting or something but would take a taxi round as soon as she could. He would have preferred her to be waiting for him but never mind; it would give him time to shower and change.

Annie was more than he had hoped for: a breath of cool rain after so long in the desert, able to take away the pain. What was it she had said? Like blotting paper. He might have eased her heartache but he wondered if she had any idea what she had done for him? Over the past months she had blossomed from the reserved, sharp- tongued girl he had first encountered into a woman of unexpected passion and sensuality. What he had initially taken for typical English Rose frigidity had been nothing of the sort, merely the wall she had erected around her desperate longing. Strong, loving, supportive, funny, combative, fiercely independent and full of wild abandon- who could ask for more?

He knew that she had begun to nest, more by instinct than calculation, and he didn't care. It felt good to see the signs of her presence in his life; it wasn't only his body that needed her touch. They hadn't really discussed the future because it simply hadn't come up and he was reluctant to push her too soon; his life was uncertain and it was unfair to presume she would simply hang around forever waiting for him or leave her career behind to trail him around the world- he would never ask that of her. Let's see how things turn out with this new Luthan deal. His former employers had come offering a loose partnership, quite a climb down for them after the bad feeling left by his stormy resignation. It could bring more security and less active engagements- but could he settle to a mere consultative role? Would his wanderlust and urge for danger ever abate? But for now he would think of the night ahead and the pleasure of reunion- the best part of going away.

The cab driver snapped on the light and read the fare. Terry swore under his breath. That used to be his weekly wage years ago. As he made for the lobby doors, he sensed someone watching him. Turning round, he saw nothing except a car moving away from the kerb following the departing taxi. 'I'm getting fucking paranoid these days' he thought as he entered.

Stepping into his apartment, he had the unexpected thrill of knowing she was there. Lights were dimmed, candles lit, music playing softly and he could smell food. Terry smiled and threw down his bag. Just at that moment Annie walked down the stairs, gasping when she saw him. She hadn't heard the door. Throwing herself into his arms, he swung her around and they clung to each other, unable to speak.

"I thought you had a meeting?"

"Fell for that, did you? Did you really imagine I would prefer to spend the evening in a planning meeting with geriatric professors than be shagged senseless by you?"

"Annie- can you try to keep up the romantic candlelit theme for a moment?' he laughed, crushing her against him and burying his lips against her mouth. They kissed deeply and then she pushed him away.

"Down, boy, down. Tonight is about taking things slow. Tonight I want to assault all your senses and drive you mad with desire. I am your slave and your wish is my command. But first- taste: food, wine, the promise of things to come." Terry grinned as she took his hands seductively, in the style of a harem girl and pulled him over to the table. She served the food. He was surprised.

"Marks and Spencer gourmet section?"

"No! All my own work." He eyed her suspiciously. "Honest!" He shrugged and tasted.  If you can cook like this I expect my food on the table every night from now on!"

"Or else?"

"Or else you're in big trouble! I may have to punish you"

"Ooh, I like punishment!" she replied rolling her eyes.

The meal over, the bottle empty, she said 'Dance' and she pressed play on the CD. A love song came on and they moved together. ' Listen to the words' she said as they swayed in each other's arms.

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night,
You gave me everything; oh, you gave me the light.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories.

"Says it all, doesn't it, Terry?" He just murmured something she couldn't quite catch in her ear.

Breaking away again, she told him to wait until she called him and then disappeared upstairs. Terry walked over to the window and lit a cigarette. He stared out into the spring evening and thanked some distant god for bringing him home at last.

"Terry? Come up, baby"

The room was in near darkness, the bed surrounded by a circle of candles, no other source of light. Some heady intoxicating perfume was burning. Annie was by the bathroom door, wearing something that was sheer and clinging, made of lace; she was naked beneath. Terry walked over to her but she shook her head when he tried to hold her. "I want you naked." And slowly she stripped him, touching his naked flesh as if she were seeing it for the first time. Kneeling before him, she stared in wonder at his penis, muttering "Welcome home, baby" and as he rose towards her, she smiled and kissed his tip gently.

On her feet again she pulled him into the bathroom where she had already filled the sunken marble tub with hot water and lit small tea lights all around. "No bubbles?" he smiled. "I want to be able to see you," she replied.

He stepped in and she began to wash him, kneeling on the floor beside him, pouring water over his head and massaging shampoo into his hair and rinsing him off. He let her continue, aware that the sheer luxury of her touch and care was clearing his mind of all the shit he had brought home with him. She moved from his shoulders to his back and then round to his chest, his abdomen, his hips and his legs, massaging his feet and running her hands up and down, lingering at his thighs but never touching him where he most wanted.

Suddenly she stood and took the hem of the negligee and pulled it over her head, standing there naked in the soft candle glow, allowing him to feast his eyes on her. Then she climbed into the bath, laughing as water slopped over the side and several candles sputtered and went out. She straddled him and lent against his chest, turning her attention to his lips, kissing him deeply and forcing her tongue deep into his mouth. Rising she took his cock and guided it to her vagina, lowering down to transfix herself on its hardness. The water had washed away her own thick lubrication and he was aware that she was tight inside- he would hurt her. "I don't care," she whispered, " Pain's part of pleasure." And she gasped as she forced herself down to take him all in. Terry thought he would burst and gritted his teeth to stay his desire.

Rising and stepping from the water, Annie wrapped a towel round herself and held one out for him, drying him softly, lingering on his intimate parts. "Annie, I can't stand this," he gasped. "Good," she replied, "It's working then!" and led him to the bedroom. Terry picked her up and stepped through the circle of candles, placing her on the bed. She knelt there, sensuously stroking her body with her hands. "Whatever you want, Terry. Anything. Just tell me and I'll do it. This?" She lowered her mouth and sucked his cock, biting gently and licking below the sensitive ridge, his skin pulled back. He groaned. "I won't last, Annie." She moved her head. "What then?"

Terry knelt before her on the bed. "Do what you do when I'm not here. When you think of me. Do it for me now."

Annie sat back on the pillows, her legs bent and splayed before him. The casual crudity increased his arousal further. She licked two fingers of her left hand and inserted them inside her, offered the fingers of her right hand for him to lick and then began to stimulate herself, rubbing her forefingers on either side of the nub of her clitoris. "Tell me what you think of when you do it." Annie usually made love in silence, the only time in the day when she wasn't talking, just making cries and whimpers and sighs. This time she spoke; in a low voice, hoarse with lust and emotion she told him her secret fantasies about him and he watched and listened in rapture until she reached her climax and screamed out his name.

Falling over her, he attempted to hold her but she rolled slightly to one side. " No, Terry. Do what you want now! What you really want." He paused for a second and then tossed her over onto her front, forcing her head against the pillow and jerking her into a kneeling position before him. Wetting his fingers in her thick juice, he rubbed his shaft and entered her. She cried out and he hesitated. "Do it!" she shouted. "Don't stop!" It was too much for him to withstand. Forcing her buttocks against his groin he plunged further into her, over and over again, aware that he was close to losing control and both frightened and excited by the feeling. In a wild roar, he reached orgasm, thrusting into her as he came in shuddering spasms, unaware of anything but his own lust.

Annie collapsed on the bed, moaning and panting; what had he done?

"Annie, are you all right. Jesus, what did I do?"

She rolled over, a fever still burning in her eyes and a red flush on her white cheeks.

"Don't worry, baby. I'm fine. Just fine. It was amazing. I've never seen you let go before, not completely. I always feel you are in control somewhere. Just then you forgot to be my lover and you took me for yourself. You are allowed to do that. I know you would never harm me." She kissed his face and he realised that tears were running down his cheeks.

"I have a capacity for violence, Annie. It scares me. I'm afraid that if I don't keep a tight rein on it I could implode."

"That's why we need to let out the pressure a little every now and then," she whispered.

Later, lying in the dark, Terry asleep with his head on her lap, she thought of all he had told her had happened while he was away. It was an unpleasant story and she wondered how many similar nightmares he had lived through. One of the hostages decapitated and left by a roadside as warning to the negotiators that they were not moving fast enough for their liking. They had called him and told him they had a 'Proof of Death' for him. It wasn't Terry's fault; he had successfully retrieved the rest of the kidnapped party once the ransom was paid but he still blamed himself. A young French engineer dead for no reason but the whim of his captors. At least tonight had eased his pain.

Slipping out from under him, she blew out and gathered up the candles for fear he would knock them over if he got up in the night. Then she applied herself to the debris of her cooking and the remnants of the meal. Annie was too animated to sleep. By the time she had finished it was very late and the night was still. She set the dishwasher, turned off the lights and returned to bed. Terry reached for her and pulled her against him, claiming her as his own. Closing her eyes and sighing with contentment, Annie fell asleep.

PART TWO

Sunday morning

"Listen to this. Set on the cliff tops with a view over the Ionian Sea, the villa is an exquisite blend of rustic Greece and the highest standards of modern amenities. There is a small pool, sundeck ... You're not listening, are you? Terry!"

The couple were lying in a bed strewn with Sunday papers, colour supplements and remains of breakfast. She was reading the travel section; he was lying on his front, feet on the pillows, trying to watch a live rugby match on the satellite TV.

"I'm listening."

"You're not."

"For fuck's sake, Annie. They're playing the All Blacks."

"I thought you wanted a break. You said 'Let's go somewhere hot for a week or two, take some time out.'"

Terry rolled over on to his side and sighed. "Where is it?"

"I knew you weren't listening. Greece. Ithaka. An island."

"Don't pull that face. Sounds great. Book it if you want."

"You could sound more enthusiastic."

"It doesn't matter to me where I go. As long as you're there and we get some downtime together. I mean it. Whatever you want, love." He returned to the TV screen. The half time whistle blew.

"Who's winning?"

"They are. OK, you've got me now. Shoot. So you fancy a Greek island. Private villa with pool. No need to pack any clothes then."

"Don't you ever think of anything else? We could do some sightseeing, visit the other islands."

"Great."

"What's wrong with sightseeing? I thought you liked history."

"In moderation. Pile of old stones or wild sex in the pool? Think I know which one I'd go for."

"Philistine!"

"Is that Greek for sex maniac?"

"No. It's Greek for Terrence Thorne. Ithaka is beautiful. Fairly unspoilt, unlike the bigger islands- you know Cephalonia and Corfu. It was where Odysseus came from. You do know who Odysseus was?"

"Kirk Douglas- or was that Spartacus?"

"He was in both. Odysseus was a great warrior who went to war and was away for years leaving his wife, Penelope and son..."

"Are you joking?"

"No. Straight up. Penelope is a Greek name. Anyway, when he came back he found his palace full of men who were trying to marry his wife so he kicked the shit out of them. That's the simplified version anyway. Spooky really. Your middle name isn't Odysseus by any chance, is it?"

"Not funny."

"The Greeks said there are only a few stories in the world and we just keep playing them out over and over again in different forms. People never change really. They react the same way whether they live today or 3,000 years ago. Fascinating that, isn't it."

"Fascinating."

She threw a pillow at him. "I'm trying to educate you, you dumbo. Pay attention. I will be testing you later."

A knock on the bedroom door. "Dad?"

"Shit!" Where are my jeans? Hang on, Harry, I'll be out in a minute."

"Calm down. You're both boys. Come in, Harry, at least one of us is decent!"

Harry tentatively opened the door. His hair was ruffled and he looked like he had just woken up. Terry was struggling to fasten his jeans. "Can I watch the rugby in the lounge?"

"You don't have to ask permission. Any way it's on in here. Jump on the bed if you can find a space. Fancy some breakfast? There are a few croissants left. Your father doesn't like them. He's too common. He prefers Vegemite on toast- yuk! Orange Juice?"

Despite the initial unease that Terry clearly felt, the rugby soon dispelled any awkwardness. Annie threw the papers on the floor and put the tray on the antique chest at the bottom of the bed. The boys were soon side-by side caught up in the action, shouting instructions and the occasional obscenity at the screen. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, reading the papers, it occurred to Annie how natural it felt to see them both together. They had both certainly loosened up with each other over the past few months.

At first, Terry had insisted that she go back to her own flat if Harry was staying over but somehow it had been acknowledged recently that they were a couple and Harry had accepted her sleeping in his father's bed with little surprise. Annie still kept her flat and slept there if Terry was away- which was often. The question of her actually moving in with him had never come up; like much of their relationship it was just taken for granted that she was there when he was. Terry wasn't much of a one for public declarations of his feelings; Annie presumed he expected her to work it out from the way he behaved towards her.

But she was not complaining. The past five months had been more than she had dreamed of. It was as if she had entered a parallel universe where the things you always wanted came true, so unlike the normal reality of life. Would it last? Maybe. There were no signs that he was tiring of her.  It wasn't that they didn't argue-they had fights all the time; he drove her mad with his bull-headed opinions and she knew how to push his buttons, too. But they never managed to keep it up for long. Arguing seemed to raise the pressure valve even higher and invariably led to great sex. Sometimes Annie wound him up on purpose.

This holiday was important. Annie had decided that she wanted to clarify where the relationship had reached. It hadn't mattered up till now; she had been too busy living the moment. But now things might be changing. She wasn't sure yet, it was early days and she would need confirmation before she told him but fate might be lending a hand. She had an appointment with Dr. Jacobs on Wednesday, she would know more then. How would Terry react?  Either furious or pleased for her? Annie thought she would tell him when they were away and then they could really discuss the future without the pressures of work that seemed to be forever interfering.

"Annie? Could I ask you a favour?" Harry interrupted her reverie.

"Sure. What is it?"

"I've brought some homework with me. I had a look at it on the train yesterday. Do you know any Latin?"

"Harry- I have few talents but you will be glad to know that Latin is one of them. Need a bit of help?"

"Yes, please. Our master is crap, sorry, lousy. I just don't understand most of it and we have an assignment to hand in on Monday."

"Soon as you're ready. We'll leave the Philistine to spell out the words on the sports page and the intellectuals in this house can get down to some real work."

"Thanks, Annie. Dad- do you always sleep in your jeans?" Harry grinned over cheekily at his father and Terry threw the remains of a croissant at him. Boys!

PART THREE

Wednesday morning

"Get up, you lazy bum!" Annie ran back into the bedroom for the third time. " You'll be late."

A hand stretched out from the huddle of sheets, raising five fingers.

" No, you've had your five. Get up now! It's not my fault that you spent half of the night carousing with your dissolute mates, you drunken bastard! I warned you that you had an early call..."

A groan as the man in the bed pulled the sheets over his head in an attempt to block out Annie's voice.

"Perhaps you'd prefer it if I threw a bucket of water over you?"

The hand extended again this time with a middle finger only, raised.

"Right that's it! I'm not taking that from you, you piss head!"

Annie ran into the bathroom and ran water over a face cloth. Returning to the bed, she jerked back the sheet and squeezed it over Terry's face.

"Christ!" He sat up, bleary eyed. "Give it a rest, Annie. You're doing my fuckin' head in!"

"Hurts does it? Pity. Just don't expect any sympathy from me. Do you know what time you got in last night? Do you even know how you got home? Jesus, you couldn't even get your pants off!" Annie was laughing; he had been absolutely smashed. Terry could drink a camel dry if he had a mind to, yet she had never known him more than mildly inebriated. He claimed that Aussie men were genetically programmed to hold their booze. Last night had been a revelation; God knows how much he had put away-probably enough to kill a normal man.

He had announced his return at about 3.30 that morning by bursting through the bedroom door and immediately sliding down the wall, laughing hysterically at some story he was trying to tell. Then he had decided he was going to strip for her but tripped over his feet when he got tangled in his pants. Annie had jumped up, afraid he was going to knock himself out, but he had managed to drop and roll in some instinctive self-defence technique.

Lying prostrate on the floor, he had responded to Annie's attempts to drag him up by suddenly becoming amorous and trying to straddle her; not that it was likely he could have done much damage in the state he was in.  He was in that late stage of drunkenness, just before oblivion sets in, when men invariably become sentimental and emotional. "I fuckin' love you, you know, Annie," etc., Hardly the stuff romantic declarations are made of but 'in vino veritas' as the Romans say, Annie thought to herself. It's not like he had ever actually said the significant phrase "I love you" when he was sober; it was something to know that at least he must have felt it somewhere in his subconscious mind. Finally she had encouraged him to bed and managed to finish undressing him, at which point he fell comatose and had hardly moved since.

Hanging up his clothes, she wondered whether he might have lost anything. On inspection, his wallet and phone were in his jacket so she breathed a sigh of relief. The other object in his pocket was somewhat more unexpected- a red lace G-string. 'Hmm, I'll bet there's an interesting story attached to that!' she smiled. What else had she expected? Dino was in town. In fact, she had rather expected Dino to turn up with him last night, although he had booked into a hotel in Central London. In retrospect that had probably been a bit naïve of her; a night on the town with the lads would most likely need finishing off with some female company. At least Terry had come home.

She went back to the kitchen and scrambled some eggs. He would be hungry. Hell, he was always hungry, but his hangover would require even larger quantities of greasy food than usual to absorb the damage. Annie snapped on Radio Four for the news and then decided to irritate him further by changing to a pop station, something loud and pounding should do nicely, she thought.  Right - quick check on lover boy. Terry was beginning to drag himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed looking groggy. As she waltzed in all cheery and 'good morning, darling', he made a sudden move towards the bathroom, clearly not wishing to incur any more of Annie's wrath. She slapped him on his naked butt with the dishcloth she was carrying and said, "Good lad!' The doorbell rang.  'Must be Mrs. O' Dowd getting an early start,' she thought.

Running down the stairs, Annie giggled. She could imagine the dour cleaning lady's face when she opened the door dressed in nothing but Terry's Australian Rugby shirt. It would be the silent treatment again or, even worse, the muttered under the breath remarks, in her rich Belfast brogue, about little hussies and you won't be so pleased with yourself when you have a few kids and a house to run. She had even once gloomily pronounced (when Annie had asked Terry 'How do I look?' and done a twirl) 'Be good, sweet maid and let who will be beautiful!' which had cracked them up so much that she hadn't spoken to either of them for a week. Annie would have cheerfully dispensed with her services and got someone else in but Terry was fond of the old bat and she was absolutely scrupulous; the apartment was kept immaculately clean.

"Did you forget your...." But it wasn't Mrs. O'Dowd. Standing outside the door was a woman nervously holding a piece of paper in her hand and peering again at the number on the metal door. She was a small, skinny blonde, with tousled hair and she was pretty- very, very pretty. Annie recognised the face immediately.  Wrapped around one shoulder was a young child. The two women stared at each other in surprise.

"Er, sorry, I thought you were the cleaner." Annie babbled inanely just for something to say.

The other woman smiled nervously. "I'm sorry to disturb you so early but I'm looking for someone who lives here, or at least I think he does. Is this 3B?" She was an American, one of those cute apple pie sorts. 'I'll bet she was the prom queen', Annie thought sarcastically 'or chief cheerleader. Doesn't seem likely that much else occupies her brain.' Annie was not normally so hostile to complete strangers but warning bells were ringing and she suspected this woman was no stranger.

"Who are you looking for?"

"A Mr. Thorne."

"No sorry, love. You've got the wrong place."

"Perhaps next door? Is there an Australian guy living there by any chance?"

"No. I know them. Just a minute- did you say Australian?" Annie realised she might knock at the other flat and they knew Terry.

"Yeah. A big guy. Sort of athletic looking with brown hair and blue-green eyes" The warning bells were more like foghorns now.

"Oh, I think he's the bloke who used to live here. We bought the apartment through an agent last year because the previous owner had returned to Australia suddenly and left the property with them to sell up. My husband might know his name but he's at work."

"You wouldn't have a forwarding address? For mail or anything?"

"No, sorry, love. We just returned it all to the agent."

"Can you tell me the name of the agent?"

"'Fraid not. I don't remember. Sorry. You'll have to excuse me, I'm cooking."

The blonde woman looked shocked, her blue eyes wide and moist and then she shook her head a little as if to clear her thoughts.

"Please. I'm sorry to be a nuisance but it's real important that I find him. I've come thousands of miles. Isn't there anything you can remember?'

"No, sorry.  And it's really important that I don't set fire to my kitchen. So if you'll excuse me..." Annie closed the door. The shower was still running upstairs: Terry must have felt more human; he was singing 'Amazing Grace'. For a few moments, Annie rested her head against the cool metal door, praying that the woman would simply go away. Whoever she was, and whatever her relationship to Terry had been, Annie sensed that this was a dangerous moment.

Terry had mentioned various old girlfriends and the disastrous mess he had previously made of his personal life but none of these matched the woman at the door. Why had he not mentioned her before? After all there was a picture of her on the notice board. Annie wished she had asked him about that but it had slipped her mind: she hadn't noticed it since that day when she had come to the apartment without Terry. Curiously, Annie went into the office and searched the notice board. The picture was no longer there.

"I'm starving. Feed me." A considerably more attractive version of Terry came down the stairs than the one she had woken up only half an hour before. He had remarkable powers of recovery- or perhaps it was simply of endurance. His system must have been loaded with toxins. He was half dressed in a smart dark blue suit, a City outfit. Today was important. His shirt was unbuttoned and he had his tie and shoes in his hands. 'God, he's beautiful ', Annie thought, as he grinned sheepishly at her with that naughty boy look he could carry off so well. He must have been a horror as a child.

Annie sat and watched him as he ate and told her the little he remembered of the night before. He, Dino, and a couple of other old buddies who were in town met at Dino's hotel bar and then hit the town, pub crawling and downing beers with Scotch chasers. He didn't seem to remember much else; certainly how he had got home was a mystery.

"Perhaps I can jog your memory? Annie threw the red G-string on the table with one eyebrow raised, standing hand on hip, in feigned annoyance.

"Shit! Where did you find that?"

"In your jacket pocket."

"How did it get there?"

"Sunshine, I am hardly the one to ask. Doesn't it bring anything back?"

"Well, there is a vague memory of a strip club in Soho, or was it the lap dancing bar off Leicester Square? Perhaps they were giving them out as souvenirs?" he suggested lamely.

"Hardly. This one was still warm when I found it. The only thing that is stopping me from cutting your dick off is the fact that the amount you put away last night rendered you medically incapable of raising your arms, never mind anything else!"

"Was I that bad?"

"Worse. You were completely rat-arsed -but kinda cute. Sort of romantic in a crude Aussie-male sort of fashion."

"I've heard enough, Annie. Spare me the details!"  Terry laughed and threw down a few painkillers. "Right I'll be off. See you about eight at the Coolabar. Wish me luck!"

"Luck. You'll bloody need it. I doubt you and Dino have any brain cells left for this meeting. What a night to get off your head!"

"It gets the adrenalin flowing. I'll be sweet as a biscuit."

"Providing you can keep your breakfast down! Must say, I'm looking forward to tonight. From my early impressions of Dino, I can hardly wait. What does he look like?"

"Think Mafia leprechaun and you'd be close." 

"Well, I hope he can look after himself. Mel's been quite restrained lately. I wouldn't like your partner to be shagged to death at this crucial moment in the company's history!"

"You'd be surprised. He might be a little runt but he has stamina. He took someone home last night and they didn't look like they were going to have much rest."

"That good, eh? Can we do a swap for tonight."

"Not a chance. He's all mine, mate." Terry kissed her, grabbed his brief case and headed for the door.

Annie threw herself down on the lounge chair and exhaled deeply. 'Please, don't let things go wrong now. Not when everything is so perfect.'

PART FOUR

The spring sunshine that hit Terry as he stepped out of the building was bright enough to bring a thudding to his brain. Sunglasses. In the car. Shading his eyes, he made for his car when he heard a voice. It was a familiar voice and the instant that his name was spoken, he froze, memories flooding back and an old wound aching somewhere deep inside. He spun round. It was Alice.

She was standing across the forecourt before a hired car, one of those Easy Rentals. Her hair was different, a little longer but still messy, like she had just woken up. She was wearing jeans and a shirt with a short, fringed brown suede jacket and cowboy boots.

Terry thought that the look had gone out years ago but that was Alice; she invariably got it wrong but still looked like she had just invented the style.

"Terry?" He realised that he was simply standing, open mouthed and staring, gob-smacked, as Annie would say in her direct northern manner. Annie. Jesus. Fuck.

"Alice." It was all he could think of to say.

She checked something in the car behind her and then stepped across to him, that loping, coltish walk so familiar, making his breath catch. She stood before him, squinting into the sun: her head tilted to one side, a shy, tentative smile beginning to curl on her lips.

"How y'doing, Terry?" she drawled playfully and nudged his arm.

"Great. Just great." Another monosyllabic response.

"Hey, I know you were always a little laconic there but is that all you have to say?" she smiled.

"Jesus, Alice. Give me a chance. How did you get here?"

"Car-plane-car. The usual. Is it a bad time? Tell me and I'll just scoot. She obviously looks like a permanent fixture." A statement that sounded like a question.

"Who?"

"The girl in your apartment."

"You've met Annie? You've been up?"

"Yeah. She kinda took a dislike to me. Fed me some bullshit about her and her husband having bought the place from you when you returned to Australia. I have to say she almost got me there. Pretty good for thinking on her feet."

"She said what? When?"

"'bout  30 minutes ago."

Terry was speechless for the second time in a few minutes. Why hadn't Annie said anything?

"She just turned you away? Did she ask who you were?"

"Terry, she didn't need to. Feminine intuition. Her radar was on overdrive. She was like a mean old alligator circlin' her eggs. Trouble is, she was so busy acting her little butt off that she forgot that she had Property of Terrence Thorne written all over her."

"Huh?"

"The rugby shirt, for starters, and the unmistakeable refrain of Amazing Grace. Don'tcha ever change the record?"

Annie didn't hear the door. She was in the shower and in a hurry. His performance had made her late; she would only just make her ten o'clock lecture. Unlike him, she hadn't even had breakfast. Cooked breakfasts were never to her taste but this morning's shenanigans had made her feel quite queasy. Throwing on black pants and a shirt, she tied her hair in a ponytail, dashed for the stairs and ran straight into what looked suspiciously like a fond reunion.

Terry and the woman were sitting facing each other at the angle of the settee. They were leaning in to each other talking, her hands joined on her lap, his right hand lying on her knee; their bodies were as close as they could be without touching. Beside the woman on the long sofa lay a sleeping child.  They sprang apart when they heard her steps but Annie had seen enough. Terry jumped up, as guilty as hell, and took a few steps forward, ruffling up his hair nervously.

"Terry. You are going to be late." It was all she could think of to say.

"Annie. This is Alice Bowman. She's a friend of mine. Well, an ex-client really. Her husband, Peter, was kidnapped in Tecala. Dino and I ..."

"We've met." Annie didn't see the point in being polite. This was going to be shit whatever way she played it. "You haven't time to catch up on old times. Dino will be furious." Suddenly Annie remembered something. A Christmas card. 'Thinking of you always. Eternally grateful. Peter, Alice and Tess.' 'Tess must be the little girl. Cute name. Short for Teresa, I expect.' The name had barely entered her head before her knees almost went from under her. 'Oh God. Not that.' Again Annie felt an urge to throw up and stuck her nails in her palms to try to regain her composure.

"Can you be a little more pleasant, please, Annie. At least it might make up for your rather embarrassing display a while back." Annie gaped at Terry. How could he speak to her like that before this woman?

"I have to go. I have a lecture. So should you. We'll speak later. See you at eight, She tried  keep her cool but she felt foolish; it was as if she were intruding on them. She kissed Terry on the lips but he imperceptibly pulled away so that she failed to make contact with his skin. Had the woman seen that?

"Goodbye, Mrs. Bowman- pleased to have met you. Have a nice day. Isn't that the correct mode of address for Americans?"

"You'll be late, Annie." Terry's voice had that warning growl in it, like a guard dog disturbed. 'Fuck you, Thorne.' Annie thought as she shrugged her jacket on and picked up her attaché case. Walking out and leaving them together seemed the hardest thing she had ever done.

PART FIVE

Wednesday afternoon

The meeting at Luthan International, offices on the 38th floor of the Lloyds Building, was set for 2 pm. Dino and Terry had arranged to meet at his hotel at eleven to finalise their presentation. Terry was an hour late. Dino was steaming, even more so because Terry had turned off his cell phone.

"Where the fuck you been?"

"Overslept."

"Is the concept of communication lost on you?"

"Fuck off, Dino. I'm not in the mood."

"Well you better get frisky pretty fuckin' quick. This deal will make us."

"Or break."

"Up to you, friend. What's eatin' you anyway? Not gettin' enough?"

Terry glared over and Dino took the hint. He knew that there was a new woman and he had the impression that she had done some good for Terry but it was hard to tell over the phone. Probably they'd had had a fight. Let's hope he hadn't fallen for another uptight, preppy type like the ex-wife. Probably had had his head ripped off for coming home smashed. Jesus, Terry could pick them.

Changing the subject to the business in hand, they planned their strategy with the precision that they would have planned a rescue attempt. Luthan had not been pleased with the number of established clients who had been attracted away after Mr. Thorne had kicked a few chairs about and made his shock resignation. Luthan might have been the insurers who covered the losses but the client was fully entitled to demand independents to handle the negotiations; and consultants cost more than employees.

They had a few options- one being to use their financial clout to force the new kids on the block into receivership- late payment of bills for one was easy enough to arrange. But there was little point in shooting themselves in the foot. Business was business. Perhaps Thorne and Lapenti might be interested in a different working arrangement, which would tie them to Luthan but allow them their petulant notions of independence. In the end it might be more cost effective- and would stop rivals from using their services.

In the boardroom (scene of Terry's previous rather testosterone-fuelled resignation speech) Terry gave a clipped and precise presentation summarising with deadly accuracy the extent to which they had been able to reduce Luthan business and their future even more damaging projections. The African 'show' had been pivotal; most large embassies had since made approaches, not to mention many global industries. Thorne and Lapenti had more work than they could handle; and the loose network of freelance operatives they were gathering on their books was placing a steady drain on the personnel of the top risk companies. Seems everyone wants to go solo these days.

The negotiations for percentages and contractual details were left to Dino who had been running the main administrative office in New York and was developing a taste for the management side. It bored Terry rigid. Even during the latter part of the meeting, he found himself drifting off -which was unusual for him even when he lacked interest. His concentration was always intense and he knew the value of listening. But even his single-minded determination was being tested by the morning's events- and his head certainly hadn't recovered.

By three they had a deal. By four they had worked out the details. Another date was fixed for two days hence for more formal arrangements and handshaking. The two men took the lift down the exterior of that famous building, one triumphant, the other staring out over the City of London, hands in pockets looking thunderous.

"This is the big one and you look like you've just lost your lollipop. Lighten up! What is your fuckin' problem? So you had a few words. Jesus, Terry, when she finds out how much you're gonna be worth, she'll be on her knees beggin' for you."

Terry looked at him and suddenly smiled ruefully. "You think so? You stupid fuck, Dino. We did good though, didn't we? More fun than throwing chairs! Let's get pissed."

Annie let herself into the flat. "Mel, you home?"

"In the bog. Be out in a minute."

Toilet flush and Mel appeared. The girls hugged. Annie still officially lived there but hardly spent any time except to change clothes and pick up mail. He hadn't asked her to move in but he hadn't asked her to leave. But she kept her options open; didn't want to make him feel trapped. Pity about him. Wonder if he worried about whether he was making her feel trapped?

"How's The Hulk?"

"Make up your own mind. We're meeting them at eight." Annie sounded snappish.

"Everything OK?"

"So, so." Oh dear, thought Mel. Something's up.

"What's the 'mate' like?"

"Don't know, never met him." Very informative.

"How did the deal go?"

"Don't know- he didn't call." A bad sign. Mel decided not to pursue the matter yet. She would assess it better when they were together. Maybe they had just had a fight and would probably spend all night making up. Great- the friend had better not be a dead loss or she'd have a wonderful evening, twiddling her fingers while Terry and Annie groped each other.

The Coolabar was notionally Australian but almost identical to all the trendy bars in London these days. Cool aura, plush armchairs, glass tables and wooden floors. Terry and Dino were upstairs on the gallery leaning on the balustrade with a good view of the street and the floor below. It was the kind of perch they liked- they could check out the talent, early evening career girls letting their hair down. The steady stream of alcohol that Terry had been consuming for the past few hours had relaxed him but he was still unsure of what was going to happen when Annie walked in- or even if she would.

"Terry, check out those two. Babes at three o'clock. Which one would you do?"

Their eyes travelled in the direction of the large glass doors. Terry made a face as if the effort of deciding was too hard, but even in his present mood he was amused at the thought that the answer should have been - 'Both. Already.'

"You choose, Dino, mate. But they'll both fancy me!" 

"Are you layin' money on this? Think we've got time before the girls arrive?"

"Have a go, mate. How long's it take to get your face slapped?"

Mel and Annie looked around and then Annie caught sight of him on the gallery. He raised his glass in acknowledgement and then drank it down. It was hardly a warm welcome. She nudged Mel and they made their way up. Dino stepped forward.

"Ladies. Like a drink? Fancy a bit of that famous US hospitality?"

"I take it you're Dino. Hi, I'm Anna Dwyer. This is my friend, Melanie Hamilton." 

She held out her hand and Dino appeared confused. Terry hung back, quaffing beer and smoking.

"Have we met?"

Annie smiled. "Sorry- you don't know my name. I'm the girl that you were so rude to on the phone a few months ago. Remember? You thought I rented by the hour? Oh, and I sleep with Thorne. Or should that be slept?"

An awkward moment ensued. Terry said nothing. Mel made a show of shaking hands and asking inane questions like 'Are you an American?' Only Dino rode the wave; little disturbed his equilibrium. They ordered a round of drinks from the waiter and sat down on a group of leather chairs that were gathered around a low glass coffee table. Annie sat down next to Terry and for the first time they spoke. She leaned towards him and said 'Sorry.' He nodded and said 'Good day?' She replied 'Crap.' He said 'Mine was fucking brilliant,' and gave her a smile that was suspiciously close to a sneer. It was lost on no one.

Thanks to the eternal good humour of Dino and the outrageous flirting of Mel, the evening passed off rather better than expected. Terry seemed to cheer up and joined the general banter but Annie was quiet and withdrawn. She was also the only one not drinking, said she wasn't in the mood. This, of course only contributed to her alienation. Dino and Terry had been drinking steadily for hours on top of the previous night's intake and Mel was doing her best to catch up on Margaritas by the bucket.

Moving on they ate at an Italian restaurant, ordering Champagne to celebrate the success of the deal. By midnight they were in a nightclub, Dino and Mel simulating sex on the dance floor and Terry and Annie sitting alone for the first time in the evening. He was staring around, apparently checking out other women; just generally being a bastard.

"Terry. Stop it. It's childish. OK, so you've hurt me. Give it a rest. I know I was rude this morning and I've said I'm sorry. Cut me some slack, will you?"

"You lied to her. You lied because you don't trust me."

"I lied because I was scared. It isn't the same."

"You don't know shit about her. What's to be scared of?"

"You tell me."

"I told you. She's a friend. I have a life. I have a past. You can't expect me to ignore that."

"Why have you never mentioned her to me before?"

"Jesus, do I have to tell you about every one I've ever known, worked for, talked to?"

"She's more than that. I know she is. Terry, you're the liar. Admit to me you are not lying now."

"A woman you don't know turns up at the door and you give her some total crap for no apparent reason other than that you think she's an old girlfriend. She came five thousand miles with a baby and you just slam the door in her face without giving me a chance to explain. Tell me why I'm the bad guy in this?"

"I told you everything about myself. I told you things no one else in the world knows. I thought you did the same with me. She's not unimportant, that's clear. You told me about Harry, your family, your unrequited love affairs. If you didn't mention her then she's even more important than them. You hid her picture from me. How can you think I wouldn't feel hurt? That she might not come between us?"

"I would expect you to give me a chance. I deserve that. How can you assume to know the things I know?  Annie- I have had to live with a fucking dead man in my bed for five months, little fuckin' St. Ben. Perhaps now you might know what it feels like." The moment he had said it he knew he had gone too far. Her face paled and her eyes burned.

"You shit. You fucking shit!  How dare you say that! I've never let him come between us. I must have been blind to think I had a chance with a man like you. Get the fuck out of my life. You don't need me anymore anyway. You have your honey back and the complete set."

"Set?"

"Boy and girl. You can hang your balls up now, Terry. Mission accomplished."

Even Annie could tell that the idea had never even occurred to him. But she knew it was true. "Don't add stupidity to all your other dubious charms, Thorne. Tess-Teresa- Terry. Get it?" And she stood up, slamming the table as she rose, spilling drinks and sending them crashing to the floor. Terry never moved despite the river of liquid that was dripping onto his pants. Annie ran out, claimed her coat and took to the street.

Mel and Dino had moved from the dance floor to a quiet corner on their own, partly to have some privacy but also to allow Terry and Annie to talk. It was obvious that they needed to.

"Any idea what's goin' down there?" Dino asked Mel.

"Complete mystery to me. They've been like Romeo and Juliet for the last few months- absolutely besotted with each other. Usually makes me want to throw up, you know the sort of thing?"

"Tell me about it. Terry's either playing Super Stud or mooning around like Lover Boy- he doesn't have an in-between. Sort of all-or-nothing type of guy."

"Tell me about it!"

"How did they meet?"

"Don't ask. You'd rather not know." 

"What's she like? Seems rather quiet- is that the normal Annie?"

"Quiet? Annie? She can be hard to read and she doesn't find it easy to open up but she's no cringing violet. Her specialities are stand-up shouting matches and I know Terry's been on the receiving end of a few of those; but it rarely lasts long- he can give as good as he gets back. Tonight's a bit weird. She's obviously upset with him but she has gone very quiet, not a good sign."

At that moment, Annie upended the table and stormed out. "See what you mean!" whispered Dino in her ear. They returned to the table.

"What the fuck's going on, Terry? Go after her for God's sake. You can't let her run out like that." Mel shook him to get some kind of response.

"She wants to go home, she's a big girl." Terry stood up and threw some money on the table. "I've got to get some air. Sort out the bill, Dino." And he walked off.

"Dino. I can't leave her like this. I'll have to go after her. I've had a great time. Here's my card- call me tomorrow- promise?" And Mel was gone.

"Jeez," thought Dino to himself, "What was all that about?"

A car pulled level with Annie as she strode up the road towards the underground station; it seemed to be kerb crawling at her speed. Looking round, she shouted at the driver "Fuck off, you creep," but noticed with a shocking sense of recognition that the driver was the man who had been outside their apartment the other evening. Or someone very like him, anyway.

Mel caught up with Annie at that moment. "Annie, stop! What's the matter! Slow down." Running unsteadily on her high heels, she finally grabbed Annie's hand.

"Leave me alone!" Annie was crying. The car moved away.

"No, I won't leave you alone. Let's go somewhere. Have a talk."

They entered a late night coffee bar and took a table. Dabbing her nose and wiping her eyes, Annie tried to calm herself. It took a strong shot of espresso to hit her before she could speak and then she said. " I'm going to be sick" and she made a beeline for the loos. Mel followed, feeling more and more that she had wandered into some sort of surreal nightmare. Inside Annie was sitting on the loo seat, pale and tearful but she seemed ready to talk.

"He's got someone else."

"What? Since when?"

"Old girlfriend. Wants him back. Looks like he feels the same. It gets worse. She's had his baby. It's like a fucking soap opera!"

"God. I don't know what to say. The bastard! I had a bad feeling about this. To be quite honest I had a bad feeling about him, too. It was all too good to be true. Annie, baby, he wasn't right for you anyway. You had some good times, just put it down to experience. Lucky you found out when you did before you got even more involved."

Annie looked at Mel curiously. "I was going to tell him something when I was sure. We were planning to go away in a couple of weeks and I thought I'd tell him then if it was confirmed and then he'd have to make some commitment and now this has happened. Everything is ruined."

All the time she was speaking Mel tried to get a grip on what she was saying. Tell him something? When it was confirmed? Making commitments? What did she mean?

"I saw Dr. Jacobs today. He said it was positive. That's it then, isn't it?" 

With a blinding flash, Mel put two and two together. "Oh God. You're pregnant!" Her hand flew to her mouth in shock.

Snapping her head up, Annie burst out laughing. "Pregnant? Me? What gave you that idea?"

"But you just said it was positive- Dr. Jacobs- having to tell Terry- throwing up- not drinking alcohol." More sounds of amusement from Annie.

"Dr. Jacobs is my line manager in the Department. I had a chance to have a sabbatical in the US and it was confirmed today. My application had been granted- a positive. This was something I applied for last year; it seemed a bit of a shot in the dark at the time but it's come up now. I thought if I told Terry, he wouldn't want me to go and then we'd have to make some decisions. I don't mean marriage or anything like that but just something to let me know what he wants from me in the long term. Mel, my career is very important to me but if he said 'Jump'- you know I would. What a stupid cow I am! At least I can get away from all this. No decision to make now. I'll accept it in the morning. Let's go home, Mel. I feel like shit."

When Terry left the club he made no attempt to follow the two women. Flagging down a cab, he gave the address of a hotel across town. It was very late but he had to see her. His head swam with booze and mixed emotions. This morning Alice had told him how she felt and he had driven her back to her hotel, unable to give her an answer. Alice had understood.

"I know it's a shock, Terry. I've left it too long and you've got a new life. I had to give my marriage a chance- I owed Peter that much. But it was never the same. You can't go back, Terry, and I think - I know - he worked it out. We were already falling apart before the kidnapping. I don't think we would have lasted but the emotion of it all made us think we could start all over. But I couldn't.  I love you, Terry, not him. If you want me, I'm here. If you don't, I'll understand."

All day those words had reverberated around his head. 'Want her? I've wanted her for so long it has become as natural as breathing. Why hadn't she told him about the child? Perhaps she thought that was unfair pressure; might make him choose her for the wrong reasons, just do the honourable thing. Peter would never have left her if the child were his own. He just wasn't that kind of man. Oh, shit! What do I do now?'

Get it out in the open. Talk to Alice. No more bullshit. One problem at a time. Tomorrow I'll face Annie.

PART SIX

Thursday morning

Annie dragged herself out of bed and forced herself to eat some breakfast. The images of the day before were replaying in her brain and she felt herself ache with misery at the sudden rupture of her life; like a warp in the fabric of time. How could the relationship she had had last weekend turn into this? His cruel words, that woman and her child, the way he had defended the other woman and humiliated her. It was like he was someone else that she didn't even know. He hadn't followed her nor had he called her and she was damned if she was calling him- to go back for more abuse? His comment 'My day was fucking brilliant' still rang in her head with its cold cruelty.

Suddenly she felt nauseous again and threw up the meagre contents of her stomach. 'This is making me physically ill. I must keep control. I must not let myself go under again. Not like last time.' What had he meant about 'Ben being in their bed'? When had she ever raised the matter of Ben after that first night? Terry had once asked what Ben had looked like and she had shown him a photograph. He had looked at it and said "Brad Pitt with brains, eh?" but surely he hadn't felt intimidated by him? Ben had been a young man - why should Terry feel himself in competition? Men don't think like that, or do they?

Forcing herself to breathe deeply and regain some measure of composure, she got ready for work. Mel told her to call in sick; she wasn't fit for it today, but she couldn't stand the thought of staying at home with nothing but the four walls for company - and she was determined to accept the appointment in the US. The only way she could stay in control of her life was simply by taking charge of it.

On the way to the underground, pushing her way through the early morning crowds, she felt someone come up close behind her. Hearing her name, she swivelled round but something was on her mouth; she couldn't breathe and ......

Terry stepped out of the hotel doors and lit a cigarette. He was still hung over and his head throbbed. Waking in unfamiliar surroundings, Alice curled up next to him, her hand resting on his chest, his heart had taken a leap. It's a wonder that she hadn't heard him.  But he had had to get out before she woke to clear his head. What had Annie done last night? How badly was this affecting her? Would she do something crazy?

Switching on his phone, he rang home - no answer. Mel's flat- no reply. Annie's hand phone - the message service came on. She must be at the Uni. A sudden desire to see her swept over him and he flagged down a taxi. He would face her now; it was too cruel to leave it any longer.

At the university, he found her department and asked at the desk. The girl on reception knew him well by now and was keen to be as helpful as possible but 'No, Dr. Dwyer isn't here. She failed to come in this morning for her 10 o'clock. Very unusual, that. She's so reliable. We tried ringing home' (a smile because she suspected that Dr. Dwyer was shacked up with this hunk) and her mobile but no answer. Is everything all right?'

Terry assured her it was, Annie would explain later and he dashed out. Something was wrong. Had she freaked out? Done something to herself? Ben's death had caused a breakdown- how fragile was she? Terry felt fear gripping his stomach like a knife in his gut. 'Jesus, don't let anything happen to her because of me.'

Sitting on a bench in the grounds of the university, he called Dino.

"You with Mel last night?"

"Good mornin', Terrence. How pleasant to hear from you."

"Cut the crap. Mel? Are you with her?"

"No. Not because I'm losing my ability to attract premium tail but because you and your girlfriend fucked up my plans. She went off after Annie when you refused to do the honourable thing. Jesus, Terry - what was going on? Not like you to let a girl see herself home in tears."

"Not now. I need to speak to Mel but she's not at home."

"Well you're in luck, my friend. She gave me her card."

"Call her. Tell her to ring me NOW. Give her my number. Dino, this is important." And he hung up.

Minutes later, his phone rang. A hesitant voice said:

"Terry?" It was Mel.

"Where's Annie?"

"I'm not sure I should be talking to you, you shit."

"Where's Annie?" he growled at her.

"Steady on, no need to talk to me like that. I'm not your bloody girlfriend. She's at work, I suppose. Why?"

"She's not at work. I'm there."

"Then she's at my place. She must have decided not to go in after all."

"She's not there. I rang."

"Well, maybe she went to yours. I take it you weren't there last night?"

"I tried there. Mel, whatever you think of me - I'm worried. What frame of mine was she in?"

"Very upset. Threw up a few times. Cried a lot. What the fuck state of mind do you think she was in?"

"I mean - could she do anything stupid?"

"What d' you mean- like top herself? Jump off a bridge? Don't flatter yourself, mate! She is more grounded than that. In fact she was beginning to get angry - if anyone's in danger, it's Miss Rose Queen of Pasadena or whoever the fuck this tart is who just showed up. I wouldn't give her a chance against Annie when her temper's up."

Despite his creeping sense that something was very wrong, even he felt slightly amused at Mel's comment. She was right. Annie had more spunk in her little finger than Alice in her whole frail, helpless body. If she was at Alice's hotel knocking the shit out of her it would be a relief- but it was hardly likely.

"Mel. If you hear from her, the minute you hear from her, call me! Even if she doesn't want to speak to me. I just want to know she's safe. Do you understand me!"

"There's no need to shout, Terry, I understand English. OK, but you're still a shit."

Almost as soon as she hung up, his phone rang again. Annie's number flashed up on the screen. He snapped it open.

"Annie?"

"Are you looking for Annie?" An unknown voice on the line.

"Where's Annie?" A blood vessel began to pound in his temple.

"You don't know where she is? I know where she is. You'll be hearing from me, Mr Thorne. Good day."

PART SEVEN

Thursday evening

The room was very dark as Annie began to stir. She felt something pressing down on her so that she could hardly breathe and thought she was lying under Terry's weight. Trying to push him away, she realised her hands would not move. Her brain was functioning but her hands would not move. Blinking rapidly, she tried to focus on the room and clear the thickness in her head.

Her hands were before her face and she studied them curiously for a few minutes, willing her fingers to respond. Slowly she felt a slight movement return.

"Terry, move!" Her voice sounded hoarse and cracked. She pushed but it wasn't Terry. It was something hard and she was jammed up next to it. Moving her head slightly and with difficulty, she tried to wriggle backwards but hit another obstacle behind her. Bucking her head, the feeling beginning to return to her limbs with pins and needle sensations, she hit the wall again. With a sinking horror, she realised that she was not in a room, but in a box. What kind of nightmare is this?

A shuddering fear rose in her and she felt herself begin to panic. Annie gasped for air; her heartbeat so fast that she thought she would hyperventilate. Pinching herself, she willed herself to wake up, but the nightmare continued. Where am I? What is happening to me? Think, Annie, think.

Talking to herself and trying to make herself to calm down, she breathed deeply and struggled to recall memories of what had been happening. With a sinking thud, she remembered yesterday and the fight with Terry. She had gone to work but couldn't remember getting there. Something must have happened. It was clear that she could not work it out - there was not enough information, so she would just have to wait. There must be some explanation, no matter how weird, and it would do her no good to panic. If someone had put her here then she wanted to be fully alert when they let her out. Closing her eyes and trying to breathe as she had learnt in yoga, she found herself relaxing and then began to exercise each limb within the confines of the space until the pins and needles eased off and she felt the blood return.

All the while she strained her ears for some noise that she could identify. There was creaking and a lapping sound and the sensation of movement. Suddenly it hit her; she was on a boat or a ship. Someone has taken me and put me in a box and put me on a boat. But why? There must be air holes because I can breathe easily, so they don't want to hurt me. But they have kidnapped me. The word kidnap struck her as familiar but she couldn't think why. Why would anyone want to kidnap me? What do people kidnap women for? With a sickening feeling she thought it might be for sex, some pervert, mad rapist - but surely such a person wouldn't go to all this elaborate trouble? Why else - come on, Annie, think! It's at the back of your brain somewhere. Kidnap? Ransom, that's it. People kidnap others for ransom. But I haven't got any money.

Kidnap and Ransom. K and R. Terry. Annie remembered but was still not sure she understood. Why should someone kidnap Terry's girlfriend (ex- girlfriend, she thought, with a sharp stab of memory) - it was all about politics, wasn't it? Think, Annie, think! Why else would someone kidnap Terry's girlfriend? He was the one who saved people, not the victim. Unless - unless he had upset someone so much that this was a punishment. A sort of payment in kind.  Was that possible or just some fanciful notion borne out of her fevered brain? It seemed like the script of a straight- to-video film but- who knows? Terry's life was unreal to most people; they had talked of danger being possible with some of the crazed fanatics he dealt with.  Yes, it was a possibility.

Three people sat around the table in Terry's apartment. Before them on the table was a large sheet of paper with very little written on it. So far it only said:

"Is this all you are going to do? Just fucking sit here and write down what we already know? I thought you were the sodding cavalry? Shouldn't you be doing something?" Mel was agitated.

"Like what?" Terry replied.

"I don't know. Ask around. Go back to the street. See if anyone saw something peculiar. They might recognise a car and give us a clue."

"The police have been informed. That's their job.

"You could do it too. Surely you are as good at that sort of thing as they are. Jesus, you do it for other people - or is it only when they pay you?"

Terry opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. Now was not the time for a fight.

"Mel, honey. We need to see what they want first. It's a waitin' game at the moment. They want somethin' and they will call. And when they call, we will start work." Dino stepped in to intervene beween them.

"How?"

"First, see if we can trace the call."

"How?"

Dino led Mel into the office, leaving Terry lighting up another cigarette. It must have been about his fiftieth of the day or so his mouth felt. In the office Dino pointed out a unit beneath the worktop, which looked like some sort of complex receiver. It was on and humming and seemed to be connected to both the telephone and the computer.

"This might help."

Just then the phone rang. Mel jumped and Dino went for the controls. "Pick it up!" he said as Terry ran in to the room.

"Hello?" Mel tried to sound calm but her knees were shaking.

"Hi, is Terry there? Is that Annie?" An American woman. The computer screen registered the caller. It was an address in London, a hotel.

"Get off the fucking line, bitch!" Mel shouted. Terry pulled the receiver out of her hand and nodded for the two of them to leave.

Dino took Mel back to the main room.

"Is someone going to fill me in or am I to stay perpetually in the dark? What the fuck is goin' on?" Dino demanded from Mel.

"Do you know someone called Alice?"

Dino stared. "Alice? Bowman? How do you know about Alice?"

"I don't know fuck about Alice, much less give a fuck about her. But she's turned up. Little Orphan Alice. Turned up here yesterday and the shit has hit the fan. They've been trying to shovel their way through it ever since." Mel had succinctly summed up the previous day's events.

"Say something, Dino. You always say something. Don't go silent now or I really will start worrying."

"Jeez, Mel. Terry has been carrying a torch for Alice for so long, it's a wonder he hasn't caught fire. She broke his heart. If she's back, I don't know how he'll react but..."

"Annie worked that much out. I can't deal with his broken heart at the moment, Dino. I just want Annie back, safe and sound, and that bastard out of our lives. I rue the day I ever brought him home."

"Brought him home?" Dino looked questioningly at Mel.

"Not now, Dino. Not now."

"And he's not a bastard. Never has been and never will. He's the good guy, Mel - trust him. I may be just some dumb Italian-Irish but even I can see that. Whatever has to happen, you can be sure he will be harder hit than any of us. Believe me."

Terry returned and the expression on his face was hard to read. But it certainly didn't say happy. No one dared to ask him how the call had gone.

PART EIGHT

Early Friday morning

The strident ringing of the phone woke every one with a start. Mel and Dino ran into the office but Terry was there already. He looked as though he had not slept. He needed a shave. The phone was set to conference; they could all hear the conversation.

"Thorne."

"Good mornin' Mr. Thorne. Slept well?"

"Fuck you. Where's Annie?"

"Annie is here. Want a word?"

A pause. Dino shook his head 'They're using her cell phone. It'll take a while to get a fix on it.'

"Terry?"

"Annie, baby, you OK?"

"I think so. I don't..."

"Enough! So we have her. Proof?"

"Not good enough. I want to see what state she's in."

"Why?"

"You could have taped her voice."

"Suspicious bastard, aren't you? If you insist but you'll have to wait some more." The phone went dead.

Dino swore. "Not long enough."

"Play it back. Maybe we can enhance it. Could be something in the background."

Mel observed them as they worked on the tape. Terry's manner had changed. He was no longer crushed and bruised, as he had been all the previous evening. Suddenly he had sprung into action and seemed cool and matter of fact, discussing the enhanced tape with detachment and an apparent lack of emotion. She could see the seasoned professional but wondered how he could do this when the hostage in question was Annie.

Did he care so little about her when it came down to it? Even Mel could not believe that of him, not the way he had been with Annie these months. Perhaps it was the only way he could deal with it. Detach from the reality and apply himself to the task in hand. Emotions were dangerous in this situation and he seemed relieved to have something practical to do at last. Mel looked at him as he worked; God, he was a handsome man, even unwashed and unkempt - maybe more so like that.

She surveyed the photographs on the wall and smiled. A whole life from boy to man! Hard to see someone who would arrange such a display as a heartless bastard, especially as there were so many pictures of Annie; he must love her! But what was going on in his head about this Bowman woman? Or was he just screwed up about the kid? Annie had told her about how much he felt he had failed Harry - would he see this child as another chance? Mel shook the thoughts from her head- just get Annie back, don't think about anything else for now.

"What do you reckon?"

"Birds. Gulls. Sea?"

"Could be. Great help. This is a fuckin' island. How many hundreds of miles of coastline does that leave us?"

" Fuck, Dino. It's a start. They want something. They'll tell us soon enough. Until then we have one more fact to add to the list. Plus that she's alive and apparently unhurt."

The boat had anchored off shore and Annie had recognised the change in the rhythm. Shortly after that, she had been freed. Suddenly the crate had been prized open and light had flooded in, almost blinding her. Rough hands had dragged her and bundled her to the deck floor; she could hear voices, southerners, Essex, maybe?

"Where am I?"

"Shut the fuck up, bitch."

Annie stared. "You! You were outside Terry's flat!" A hand flashed out and slapped her face. She could taste blood on her lips.

"I said shut the fuck up! We're gonna call yer boyfriend. He'll want to hear from yer. Any tricks and I'll do worse than slap your face- understand?" His face was close to hers. She nodded.

Using her phone, they made a call. Suddenly the phone was thrust to her ear.

"Terry?"

"Annie, baby, you OK?

"I think so. I don't..." The phone was pulled away before she could say more. Tears sprang to her eyes. 'Terry, God, Terry, I love you. I need you. Help me' she thought. It didn't matter about Alice Bowman or anything else. He wouldn't leave her to them. He wouldn't turn his back on anyone, never mind her. But what did they want? Did they intend to hurt him too?

"He wants visual proof. Bitch - we want you to pose for us. Just say a few words. Be careful. You've already had your warning."

Annie curled into a foetal position and thought. The coastline looked familiar; she had been here before. There must be a way to handle this. What would Terry do? She had listened to some of his amazing stories of escapades in the army and since and had been struck by how one could take control of a situation if you played along but kept your wits. Never panic, he said. Most of the fuckers are brain-dead, hired muscle. You can always outthink them if you keep your head clear. Well, IQ-wise she could leave them all for dead.

One night, roaming through Terry's bookshelves she had come across a copy of Livy's ' The Wars of Hannibal'.

"What's this doing here?" He had been reading the newspaper.

"What?"

"This. Hannibal's campaigns? Not exactly a current bestseller- and there's definitely no sex or sport in it. What's the attraction?"

"Hannibal?" He put down the paper. "Greatest general ever lived- bar none."

"So? I know that much. Why should you be interested?"

"I was a soldier. They didn't just teach us martial arts and sharp shooting. We studied military history, battles, strategy, that sort of thing. Hannibal was the best. It's all in there. Every battle ever fought. I was a lazy bastard. Why read loads of textbooks when one can teach you all you have to know?"

"I'm impressed. What's your favourite?"

He had thought a moment. "Every general since has been trying to fight Cannae again. Napoleon in Russia, Rommel in Africa- even Stormin' Norman' in the Gulf - Desert Storm was a carbon copy, he even said that in an interview later."

"I know, I heard it. So that's your favourite?"

"No. Trasimene. Battle of Lake Trasimeno. They still call it 'Il Lago di Sanguine.'

"Yeah, the Lake of Blood. Why?"

"He tricked them. So bloody simple. Right before their eyes. The Romans knew he was out there. They knew he had lost a lot of men and that they were in a bad shape, just down from the Alps. But he still fooled them. Each man carried a torch in both hands in the early morning mist. Sheer fuckin' brilliant. The Romans disregarded their intelligence and panicked. Thought there were thousands more than there actually were. Hannibal trapped them against the lake shore as they ran and butchered the lot."

"So the moral is?"

"Use your weakness. Make it your strength. Do what they won't expect. Remember the enemy is as jumpy as you are, even if they seem to be holding all the cards."

Annie thought about this. Use your weakness. Make it your strength. 'Thanks, Terry', she whispered.

"Jesus, bitch, are you going to sit there crying all day. Shut the fuck up, will ya'?"

"I can't help it. It's not fair."

"That's life, baby, pile o' shit."

"No, you don't understand. Me and Thorne. It's fuckin' over. Why should I be here? I've kicked the bastard out. Why didn't you pick up his new girl? Even better- she has his baby- that would really get him moving."

For the first time the shaven headed yob looked non-plussed.

"Thought you two were real close. Looked like it from where we were. Don't you ever close the curtains? That big glass wall is better than a cinema screen. Learnt some new stuff. Didn't take you for quite such a little raver." He grinned lasciviously and eyed her up in a way that sent a shiver down her spine. Christ, they'd been watching. Must have been from across the wharf. High powered binoculars or something. Annie felt sick again. She swallowed the bile down.

"Yeah. Well things change. Last week's news. You were so busy kerb-crawling the other night; you didn't see what he was up to. Shagging the new bird in a hotel room somewhere. He moves fast."

"Don't matter. He's the fuckin' White Knight sort. Regular Robin Hood. He'll play ball."

"What do you want from him?"

Another slap, this time cutting her cheek where his signet ring had caught her. The force of the blow knocked her head back against the side of the boat. "You talk too much."

But it was enough. She had made an impression, disconcerted him, and she hadn't lied. Annie was sure that's where Terry had gone that night. To a hotel. To Alice.

PART NINE

Monday morning

Returning from the supermarket, her arms full of bags of groceries and cans of beer, Mel rode the lift and made her way to the apartment. They had been holed up all weekend; there was no news. She had been glad of a reason to leave the house; the tension was getting to all of them. Dino tried to alleviate the gloom by constant talking, telling jokes, reminiscences; Terry had said little, seeming sunk in his own thoughts.

At times the two of them had gone into a huddle and seemed to be playing various scenarios over; they had clearly not wanted to burden her and she had not wanted to listen. Whatever nightmares they were envisaging she felt she would rather not know. As she approached the apartment door, she noticed a package on the floor. It was addressed to Terry. Dropping everything she rang the bell, banging on the door at the same time. Terry pulled it open.

"For you!" she gasped and he dragged the brown padded envelope from her. It was a videotape. Mel gathered all the shopping and threw it down in the kitchen. By then, Terry had switched on the TV and was inserting the tape, Dino settling down on a chair. Mel joined them.

"No, Mel. Let us see it first. Go wait in the kitchen, love. Make a cup of tea."

"What! You think I'm going to wait on you two at a moment like this?"

Dino put his arm round her. " It might not be pretty. We don't know what to expect. Believe me, Mel. If it is not too bad, we'll let you see."

Mel nodded in agreement and went to brew up, offering up a silent prayer that Annie had not been hurt.

The video flickered and the picture steadied. It was a small room, possibly the cabin of a boat. Annie was sitting on a straight-backed chair. She appeared fine apart from a cut on her cheek and a swollen lip. Terry swore when the camera lingered for a moment on her face. There was no sound at first; Annie sat, wringing her hands nervously, watching someone off camera. A voice suddenly commanded:

"OK, let's hear some sweet talk for the boyfriend!"

Annie's face changed. She sprang into action.

"I told you he's not my fucking boyfriend! He's a fucking arsehole. Talk to him yourself." Dino and Terry stared at each other and for the first time in several days they started to smile.

"Attagirl, Annie." Terry whispered under his breath.

"I said talk, bitch. Do you want to lose a few teeth!"

"OK, you prick. Hi, Terry. Long time, no see, huh? How's the love life? Mine's pretty shit at the moment as you can see from the quality of the talent around here.  Listen -you wanker! I hold you personally responsible for this and if I get out I swear I'll rip your fucking head off. Should have listened to my flatmate Clare about you. She said you were all the same, you fucking lot. As soon as she heard where your Dad came from, she said- he'll be a bastard. And I could have been on that mountain this weekend with a decent bloke like Patrick. Four fucking months of my life down the drain on a loser like you. Four! I must have been out of my mind and now this, I just didn't have a clue...."

"That's enough." 

Annie stopped speaking. She rested her hands on her lap and lowered her eyes.

"OK. Thorne. Your bitch is a little pissed with you at the moment but I'm sure you understand. Thing is we've been gentle so far but she's beginning to get on my nerves. I might not be able to be so restrained in future. We'll be in touch."

The camera focused briefly on Annie and she suddenly looked straight at the camera. Her intense stare was loaded with meaning. The picture fizzled out.

"Mel, come in. Watch this." Mel returned with a tray of mugs. Dino pulled a face.  Tea?"

"Make your own coffee. What do you think I am, the char lady?" she snapped.

Terry replayed the video. Mel watched transfixed. "Oh, God, her face. She looks so scared. See that look at the end? But I don't understand what she said, Terry. I know she was angry with you but I mean this is bigger than that, surely? And why did she call me Clare? And who the hell's Patrick?"

To her surprise, Terry burst out laughing, closely followed by Dino.

"What is the matter with you two? How can you find that funny? Is there something wrong with you?"

Holding his hand out and trying to compose himself, Terry said. "Watch it again. Listen to what she's saying. She is so smart. My clever, beautiful Annie. She's telling me where she is. Ireland. Where my Dad comes from. Also how many people are holding her. Four- we've been together five months- not four. I wonder....Let me get an atlas. He ran to the bookshelf and pulled out the Times Atlas of the World. Flicking through pages, he alighted on one and looked carefully.

"Clew Bay."

"How do you know that? Mel asked.

Terry pointed out the place on the map. "See there? That mountain? That's Croagh Patrick. St. Patrick's  Mountain. She's somewhere in sight of that. My guess -anchored off Clare Island. There'll be plenty of fishing boats, yachts around there now, beginning of the holiday season. That drongo who's with her won't even know the name of the place, let alone the topography. But Annie would. She spent her summers on the West coast as a kid."

"But how did you know?"

"Four tours in the north, love. Been there for R and R."

"Fishing?"

"No, knew a girl who had a cottage nearby."

"How fortunate for Annie, Thorne, that you've shagged your way round the world!" Mel added tartly but she smiled broadly. Terry seemed pensive, a far away look in his eyes.

"Let's not get too carried away, girls and boys. We still don't know what they're after. And that tape was made on Saturday according to the date. That's two days ago. Things could have changed."  Dino observed. Mel looked at Terry and he nodded.

"Time to start making some plans."

Little more than half an hour later, the telephone rang.

"Check outside the door." The caller hung up.

As Terry opened the door, the roar of a high-powered motorbike could be heard in the distance. On the floor was a small box. Ripping open the box, Terry pulled off the lid and stared at the contents. He took a step backwards as if he had been punched.

"Terry- what is it?" No reply.

"What's in the box?"

Holding the box to his chest, Terry walked into the room and sank down on a chair, his buoyant mood of only a few moments ago completely gone. He wiped his hand across his head to remove the beads of sweat that had formed.

"Her hair. The bastards have cut her hair off."

Before the others could react the telephone rang again. Dino raced to the office, Terry picked up the hands free in the lounge.

"Got the box? Good. Now down to business. This is no fuckin' game. We are gonna take her piece by piece and you are going to sit and watch."

"Why? What do you want from me? You must have an angle."

"Want? Nothing. This is not about money. My boss simply wants to make you hurt. Take her off you like you took the girl off him.  Destroy your life. There's nothing you can do about it. But don't worry, you won't miss anything. We'll get it all on video. The boss insists. One copy for him, one copy for you. Maybe, if it turns out well, another for the snuff market. Enjoy, Mr. Thorne!"

The silence in the apartment was almost audible. Terry stood still. Mel fell onto the sofa. Dino remained in the other room, head in hands. Suddenly, Terry threw the receiver at the window. "Morimbe."

Annie lay on the small bunk in the cabin where they had dragged her yesterday after the video footage was taken. Shaved Head had looked in on her a couple of times with food. It seemed to be his job to keep an eye on her. The other three had not spoken to her. One was obviously in charge of the boat; the other two were thuggish but appeared slightly less mentally challenged than S.H. All she could pray for now was that Terry had understood. It was such a long shot. How would he work it out from what she had said?

At intervals, Shaved Head would take her out to the bathroom; she was sure he tried to watch through the slats of the door but had no choice. Her stomach was still churning; the motion of the boat was doing little good to help it steady and she had thrown up a few times. The food they were giving her was fairly tasteless- usually congealed fried food: eggs, sausages, beans- not the sort of food to settle a queasy stomach. But she had to eat to keep up her strength and also to enable her to vomit.

There was nothing to do. No books to read, no TV or radio to listen to; only her thoughts running wild around her head. He would try to come for her even if he wanted Alice; he owed her that much. How would she manage to go on without him? Somehow she would. Life had already taught her that you could recover from anything in time. Do I wish I'd never met him? No. It was so good when it was good. I'd rather lose him than never have known him. Let me just remember the good times. Lie here and think of what it was like.

She closed her eyes and smiled. That Wednesday he had met her in the department when she finished early for the day with such a grin on his face and said.

'Get yer coat on, lass. We're goin' t' game." His Lancashire accent was appalling.

"Game?"

"Some supporter you are. What's on tonight?"

"United? Arsenal? You've got tickets?  But it's at home!"

And he had tickets: they were like gold dust. The most important game of the season; the premiership resting on it. Shuttle from London City Airport, VIP box, the works. How did he wangle it? Wouldn't tell. Just said, "Got to keep a few secrets or I won't be able to surprise you again, will I?" What a night! 6-1 to United, got plastered in Barca with a load of Reds and then amazing sex in a suite in the Midland Hotel. He must have spent a fortune.  She could still remember them staggering through Deansgate singing "We are the Champions!" and "Barcelona!"

No, she wouldn't have missed the last five months for anything. Things like that are once in a lifetime and sometimes you just have to grab them and go with the flow, even if it means going over the canyon in the end, like Thelma and Louise.

Annie was still contemplating that when the door opened and Shaved Head came in with one of the other thugs that Annie had named Broken Nose. Immediately she sensed the atmosphere was different.

"What do you want?"

Broken Nose sneered. "Seems your boyfriend is missing you. Needs something to remember you by." Then she saw the scissors; large shears like you might use in dressmaking. Shaved Head forced her down onto her knees and grabbed her round her chest, holding her arms to her sides and wedging his legs against her. Annie tried to struggle but he was too strong for her. The other man yanked her head forward and began to chop off her hair, hacking and pulling until her head ached and bled with the force. She was left with a spiky, uneven inch or two. Tears poured down her face but after her initial scream she said nothing. She would not give them the satisfaction.

PART TEN

Monday evening

The arrival of the box brought matters to a head. Within a short time, Terry had made a few phone calls, the nature of which was kept from Mel but she knew action was imminent. Dino and he then closeted themselves in the office and some sort of planning talks were held. Several calls were received and later other men arrived, dressed in civvies but obviously soldiers. Mel had merely made sandwiches and tea, or handed out cans of beer. She was no longer protesting about being reduced to tea lady.

Sitting alone in the kitchen, pretending to listen to the radio, Mel was disturbed by someone entering. It was Terry.

"Sorry, Mel. We cut you out there. You have a right to know what's going to happen. I've called in a few markers. Even managed to get official clearance, although if it fails it won't be acknowledged. We are going to leave shortly. I'm not coming back without her. No way."

Mel sobbed and bit her lip to try to stop the tears. "Don't screw this up, Thorne"

He turned to leave but Mel stopped him. "How can you leave her, Terry?  Don't you know she's the best thing you'll ever get?"

"Leave her? I don't intend to leave her. I never did. I was on my way to tell her. That night I was so screwed up I couldn't even think straight but by the time I got to Alice and began to really talk to her, I knew she was just some kind of dream I'd had in my head. Tecala had been a Time out of Time, a sort of transition. Met a girl, rediscovered my principles, lost my job, saved her man, lost the girl. Appealed to my romantic nature, my sense of unrequited love and all that. But in reality, what would my relationship with Alice have been in the real everyday world? We were worlds apart."

"But you went to her hotel room. You slept with her."

"I told her it was over. She cried. She begged me to stay with her; she didn't want to be alone in a strange country. I held her and we both fell asleep. Nothing happened."

"She called you..."

"To say goodbye. From Heathrow. "

"What about you and Annie?"

"Made for each other. Just that I never actually told her."

"And the kid?"

"She's not mine; too young. Annie got me worried for a while though. Seems she's not right about everything after all." Terry smiled ruefully. "That day- in the bathroom. I said some terrible things to you and I'm ashamed of them. You could have told Annie but you didn't. They weren't true."

"Why d'you say them then?"

"Because you sussed me out. I wasn't sure I wouldn't hurt her, not then- so I hit out at you to shut you up. I shouldn't have called you a whore. You are no more that than I am. As a matter of fact, I still have fond memories of that night..."

"Sort of memory that comes back late at night when you are alone in some foreign hotel room?" Mel grinned.

"Could be."

"If it's any consolation you're my favourite masturbatory fantasy too! Let's just shake on it, Terry. Some people have fuck-buddies -we can call ourselves fantasy fucks, if you like." He came over and picked up her hand. Mel hugged him tight and buried her head in his shoulder.

"And make sure you come back with her. I don't want anything to happen to you, you big bastard."

"Just say your prayers, Mel, and we'll do the rest."

It was dark when they came for her. Already asleep, Annie was juddered awake by rough hands pulling her from the bunk and lights being snapped on. This time there were three men: Shaved Head, Broken Nose and Fat Man. They stood her up and circled round her; she could smell the beer and whisky on their breath.

"Get out. I want to sleep."

"Later. First some fun." A cold shiver ran down Annie's back. Then she noticed the video camera. Fat Man started filming and Shaved Head grabbed her from the back. Broken Nose ripped open the blouse she was wearing and pushed up her bra.

"Small tits." But it didn't dissuade him. He yanked down her trousers and panties and Annie simply closed her eyes. 'I will not scream, I will not fight.' she thought, her mouth filling with bile. He threw her down on the floor and forced her to kneel, pulling her head to his groin. "I will not scream, I will not fight."

With this mantra running through her head, she submitted herself to them. The torture seemed to be never ending as she was passed from man to man, each taking his turn at her and then the video camera, shouting foul obscenities and forcing her to repeat their words. But finally it ended and they had had their fill. Tossing her down on the floor, she lay helpless before them. One urinated on her, another kicked her hard several times in the stomach. Annie rolled up in a ball and feigned unconsciousness and finally they were gone.

Hours later, Annie woke up. It was day and she pulled herself up from the floor. Hanging on to the furniture, she staggered over to the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. She was hard to recognise. Her face was a mass of bruises and cuts, one eye was half closed and her nose thick with clots of blood. The crudely chopped hair only added to the picture of humiliation. Looking down at her body, she saw the same story of bruises and bites, the worse concentration around her breasts and inner thighs. Her genitals were bloody, swollen and on fire, her legs sticky with spent semen. 

There was a nagging pain in her left shoulder and her colour was very pale. Suddenly she felt a sharp, knife-like stabbing pain in her abdomen, so violent that she bent over and gasped for breath. Falling to her knees, she clutched at her stomach and then felt a gush of blood run down her thighs. Sitting, she rode the pain, trying to understand what was happening to her.

Grabbing a towel from the basin, she thrust it between her legs to stem the flow and tried to gather her clothes. She knew she should try to clean herself and dress but somehow she didn't have the strength. All she could do was throw herself on the bed and wrap herself in the sheets. 

Terry slid into the water. The Atlantic was cold even in May and wearing a wet suit; for a moment it took his breath away. After him, two other men followed while the fourth watched them swim away and then steered the launch around. Observing the three frogmen until they surfaced and signalled from the boat, he snapped on the engine and lights, revving noisily and coming round to the fore of the yacht. Two men appeared at the side.

The three frogmen climbed up the boat side at different appointed places. Their arrival was not detected; all the activity at the front masked the minimal noise they made. Pulling off their suits, they freed their knives from sheaths around their waists and stepped forward. A door opened from below and a baldhead appeared.

"She's sleeping. Hasn't eaten. Losing a lot of blood..." He didn't say anything else. The three men came together. One pointed at the other two and nodded ahead. They made their way forward. He pulled the dead body away from the steps and descended into the hold. It was dark and he had to wait a few seconds for his eyes to adjust before searching the cabins below. At the end of the corridor, he came to a locked door. Feeling along the walls until he found a fire extinguisher, he ran at the door, breaking the lock and bursting though.

There was no sign of life. Just then, from what looked like a pile of blankets on the bed, he sensed a slight movement. Rushing forward, he knelt down and pulled the blankets away. Annie screamed and recoiled. "Don't touch me! Please don't touch me again!" Her voice was hardly audible. The sight that met his eyes was hard for his brain to accept. She was almost unrecognisable, a mass of bruises, cuts and bites and her hair a hideous obscenity. But she was alive.

"Annie. It's me. Terry. You're safe."

Her wild eyes settled on him with a flicker of recognition but he sensed that something was not right. She had been badly beaten, sure, but her pallor suggested that she was even more seriously injured and her eyes were beginning to roll back in her head, showing her pupils. He shook her. "Annie, speak to me. What have they done?"

For a moment there was no response and then she muttered: "I couldn't stop them. Don't be angry with me. They made me do it." She grasped at his collar but her fingers had no strength.

With a sickening sense of dread, Terry pulled opened the sheets. He had seen enough at the sight of her breasts, torn, bitten and bruised. She had been raped. Gang raped.  He retched and vomited at the side of the bed. His violent movement further disturbed the blanket, revealing her lower body. The sheet was sodden in blood and thick clots. Gently he laid her back and opened her legs. There was no sign of an implement having been used, so why was she bleeding so heavily? It was no time to speculate. He threw the blankets round her and carried her up. She needed a doctor and very quickly.

On deck, the others were waiting, the four dead bodies lying side by side. Dino appeared. "She's been raped. She's losing a lot of blood. We have to get her back now."

"It's on its way, Terry. It can't be long." There was nothing more to say.

Moments later, the drone of a helicopter was heard. A seat harness was lowered and    Terry rested her in it, placing a kiss on the mutilated hair. He watched as it swung round and reached the safety of the chopper. A rope ladder snaked down and he shinned up it. Looking down at the boat, Terry nodded to Dino and his friend gave a thumbs up. The helicopter rose skywards.

Wednesday morning

Mr and Mrs Dwyer were shepherded into the intensive care of the military hospital in Belfast. They had been informed of their daughter's kidnap two day's earlier and a policewoman had stayed with them night and day to help them through the ordeal. No one had explained why this was happening to them; Annie's parents had come to the conclusion that no one actually knew. But finally their vigil was ended when PC Roberts received a call and informed them a military plane was waiting to take them to Belfast; their daughter was safe.

A nurse settled them down with a cup of coffee and said a doctor would be with them shortly; Ms. Dwyer was in theatre and they would be informed of her condition as soon as the surgeon had information. But they were to realise that she was in a bad way and had lost a lot of blood. It was the first they had heard of any injuries.

Weak with fear, Mrs. Dwyer, sank on to the chair and her husband held her. They talked quietly, consoling each other. Neither wanted their private emotions to be heard by the other occupant of the waiting room. He was a soldier, dressed in combat gear, stained with blood, his head in his hands. Annie was obviously not the only casualty.

After what seemed like an age, but was probably no more than half an hour, the door swung open and a surgeon in operating scrubs entered. "Mr and Mrs. Dwyer?" Their heads snapped up and they rose to meet him. "Is Annie all right?"

He motioned for them to sit down and joined them, pulling a plastic bucket seat to face them. "She has multiple contusions, several broken bones and other minor injuries, none of them life-threatening. Our main problems have been two-fold. Firstly she has suffered a violent rape and taken a bad beating, which has ruptured her spleen and caused extensive internal bleeding. We have removed the damaged spleen and stopped the haemorrhaging but she has required a blood transfusion and is very weak. The other problem is of a more personal nature. Is her husband or boyfriend on the way?"

The older couple looked at each other. "She isn't married and I don't think she has a boyfriend. She never mentioned anything to us. Why do you need to know?"

The doctor paused. "In that case you are the next of kin. Your daughter was pregnant- probably about two months. I'm afraid that she has lost the baby. Her cervix was very tight; she could not expel the foetus.  As a result she has bled heavily for at least a day or two. That has added massively to her blood loss. But she was lucky. They got to her in time. Just. I expect she will pull through, although she has suffered a massive trauma and there will be emotional and psychological problems long after the physical ones are healed. Prepare yourself for a shock. She is very swollen and hard to recognise - and her captors hacked her hair off. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this."

Annie's mother gasped in shock but another louder noise broke through their grief. Turning round to the other side of the room, they saw that the soldier at the other side of the room had slid off the chair and slumped to the floor. He appeared to have passed out.

PART ELEVEN

Almost two hours later, after sitting by their unconscious daughter's bedside, Mr. and Mrs Dwyer made their way out. Annie was deeply sedated and there was little they could do at the moment. It was better that they should rest now, call home and prepare themselves for when she came round.

Walking from the room, a voice called out to them; they turned and saw the soldier who had collapsed in the waiting room. He seemed unhurt although haggard and grim-faced. His combats were heavily bloodstained and his face was smeared with some sort of blackening.  His eyes were red and bloodshot.

"Mr and Mrs. Dwyer?"

"Yes? Are you all right, son?" The older man asked.

"Yeah, thanks. Haven't slept for days, not eaten much either. Just got a bit too much for me."

"Australian, are you? In the British army?" queried Mr. Dwyer.

"Not in the army. It's a long story."

"Was there something you wanted?" Annie's mother said and he recognised a familiar frown.

"I was there when your daughter was found. I found her."

They both stared at his clothes. "Is that my daughter's blood?"

"Christ, sorry, I should have taken it off." The soldier dragged the stained shirt off and rolled it in a ball in his hands.

"Never mind. Gave you a turn did it? Who could do such a thing? Thank you so much.  We could never thank you enough. We owe you our daughter's life." The father patted him on his back and moved past him on the corridor. Terry spun round.

"No. That's not what I wanted to say. Annie and I....She's my... I was ...the father of the baby. I'm sorry to tell you like this but it's unfair to keep it from you. I've been seeing your daughter for months. I didn't know about the baby until just then. I just couldn't take any more..." His voice broke and he struggled to control his emotions. Annie's parents stared.

"Do you know why this happened?" her father snapped, suddenly suspicious.

"Yes."

"Is it anything to do with you?"

"Yes."

"When you're more composed, I'll expect you to make a full explanation."

Terry nodded, looking down at the floor. " I'm going in to see her now. Then I'm going away for a while. When she comes round will you tell her that I had to go but I will be back for her?  You see...I love her." At that he pushed open the door to the intensive care room and disappeared inside.

Inside the room, Terry took a seat next to the bed where Annie lay sleeping, wired up to machines and hooked up to IV s. Taking her hand in his he held it for a long time, willing her to keep fighting, wishing he could give her his strength. After a while he began to talk to her, although he was sure she was too far under the sedation to hear him. He spoke of Alice and what had happened between them in Tecala; things he should have said long ago. Then he told her how he really felt about her and what he wanted for the future if she would go the distance with him, more things that were long overdue. Somehow it was easier to reveal all that he felt inside when she was there but not there; would he have spoken so unguardedly had she been awake?

Somewhere in Annie's subconscious she could hear his voice. She dreamed that she was in the bowels of a vast ship, lost in a labyrinth of corridors, behind her some nameless terror, only his deep voice guiding her to safety. Dragging open doors, she plunged headlong through endless passages but she felt that she was getting closer. She could hear what he was saying; it didn't make any sense but she knew that they were good words, tender words and if she could only reach him, she would understand.

With a sudden gasp, her eyes flickered open and her fingers moved imperceptibly in his grasp. Terry looked up and Annie was staring at him incomprehensibly.

"Where am I?"

"In a hospital."

Annie frowned, struggling to remember. 

"Hush, baby. Relax. Don't try to work it out. Just sleep."

"I want to remember. I can almost remember..." Her voice was cracked.

"Do you want some water?" Annie blinked her eyes. A nurse who had entered in response to the signs of awakening, held out a glass of water with a dropper, and he moistened her swollen lips. Annie nodded.

"Something bad happened. You left me. You went to her."

"I'm here. Alice has gone."

There was silence for a while. "The baby?" Terry did not know what to say. How much did she remember? "What baby?"

"I worked it out. I had time to think. Why did I have time to think? Mel was right but I hadn't realised. I wonder why?" Her words were disjointed but they made a sort of sense. She hadn't known she was pregnant until it had been too late. Terry knew Annie's mind would not rest until she had pieced it all together; it was impossible to stop it from turning over. He turned to the nurse and asked her to sedate Annie further; she was too fragile to face the truth yet. The nurse went to bring a doctor.

Suddenly Annie let out a cry. "Whas happened to our baby?" His face must have said all that he was incapable of uttering for Annie closed her eyes and silent tears ran down her face. "I'm sorry, Terry. I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop them. I didn't even try."

Terry took her face in his hands. He stroked the remains of her beautiful hair.

"It was not your fault. It was my fault. I brought danger into our lives. But I will end this. Annie-listen to me! I am going away for a while. You'll be safe here with your parents and Mel is on her way. I'll be back as soon as I can. Your job is to get well. Do you promise me? You will get well and strong and we will deal with this together. Annie- you know I love you, don't you? I'm sorry I never told you before." Tears ran down his cheeks as he whispered to her, oblivious to the doctor and nurse who were attending to her. Annie's eyes were closed- she seemed to be drifting back to sleep- but her hand squeezed his lightly and she muttered something. It sounded like 'Take care.'

It was still dark when the man took position on the rooftop. Crouching down behind the stone parapet, he settled down and ran a final check through his equipment. Everything was ready. No casual observer would have remarked the dark shadow that sat stock still apart from a constant trembling of his right foot, soundlessly beating a nervous rhythm. At regular intervals, the man flexed his legs and arms; when the time came he would have to be ready to move at deadly speed and must not be handicapped by stiffness or tired muscles.

Dawn came and movement began on the narrow lane below him. Checking his watch, he remained hidden until it was 7am. Slowly but methodically, he snapped into action, silently attaching the sections of a high velocity weapon and finally screwing on the silencer. At 7.15, the French windows of a large house across the street opened and a maid came out to lay a breakfast tray on the poolside table. A moment later an obese man emerged, eased himself into a cane chair and began his breakfast; the maid disappeared within the house.

The dark shadow on the roof took a kneeling position and raised the rifle. A bead of sweat ran down his nose, he shook it away and breathed deeply. Taking aim, he pulled the trigger. No sound was heard but the click of the release and the dull thud as a high performance bullet thudded into the seated man's brain. He fell back as though asleep except for the thick red pool that was forming on the floor behind his chair. Back on the roof, all was quiet. The man was gone; his gun lying where he had knelt, black gloves, hat and jumper scattered about.

By the time the maid returned to fill her master's teacup and subsequently dropped the pot and screamed, the assassin was several miles down the road in an early morning taxi to the airport. When the secret police arrived and found the murder weapon on the roof, he was in the departure lounge, drinking tea and chatting with another businessman both on their way back home to Europe. His plane was already thirty thousand feet above the city and heading west when the airport was temporarily closed because of a suspected bomb threat.

"Can I get you anything, sir?" smiled a maternal British Airways stewardess.

"Scotch. Make it a double. On second thoughts- just leave the bottle," he replied.

The stewardess reluctantly complied but indicated him to her fellow attendant. 

"Keep an eye on him. It's a bit early for a binge," she said.

Annie was sitting up in a hospital in Manchester, having been flown there from Belfast. Three weeks on from her ordeal, the physical damage was well on its way to healing. Her bruises were almost faded and her injuries were healing well. She was still weak but it was only a matter of time until she was ready for discharge. As for her emotional state- that would take much longer. She suffered from terrible nightmares which disrupted her sleep and even during the day there were flash backs that terrified her. A sudden hand on her arm would make her recoil and a door opened too abruptly would startle her; sometimes enough to make her break down and cry as much at the helplessness she felt to be so disabled as at the memory of what she had suffered.

Her mind was clear now; there was no detail of her ordeal spared to her. She had a great need to talk; to the psychiatrist who counselled her, to her mother with whom a new bond was forming and with Mel who spent every weekend with her and let her spill the awful secrets until she felt purged of them. Nothing had been heard from Terry and although Annie seldom mentioned him, all knew that he was constantly on her mind; privately her parents and Mel thought his absence inexplicable and so unfair- he alone might have been able to do more for Annie than any of them and his being away only increased her anxiety.

One Saturday lunchtime, the TV in her room playing quietly in the background, Annie was sitting by the window chatting with Mel and her Mum. It was a glorious June day and she was luxuriating on the feel of the sun on her face. Suddenly her attention turned to the TV set. The lunchtime news was playing.

"Turn it up!" Mel grabbed the remote unsure what had caught Annie's interest. They listened to the report.

'...Morimbe, the former dictator was ousted from power in democratic elections held late last year. Since losing power he has been in exile in an unspecified location. The assassination comes as little surprise considering the reputation for unbridled cruelty and corruption, which dominated his period in office; the ex-president had many enemies. No assassin has been apprehended; it would appear that the marksman seems to have disappeared into thin air. Embassy officials say the shooting had all the hallmarks of a hired assassin; the work of a seasoned professional...'

"Why are you interested in that, darling? Turn it off. He was a dreadful man. I know it's unchristian to say so, but he deserved nothing less. But it might upset you. Put the other side on."

Annie put both hands to her face and began to cry.

"Whatever's the matter, Annie?"

"I'm not sad, Mum. I'm happy!"

"What do you mean? You're crying!" 

Annie broke into a wide grin, laughing and sobbing at the same time. Calming her self down she tried to explain. But-"Terry's coming home!" was all she could manage, much to their complete bewilderment.

PART TWELVE

September

"Want a beer?"

"Mmm"

Terry walked round the poolside and placed a bottle of iced beer by the side of a sunbed. Annie was lying on her front, her legs bent and crossed, reading a book that was placed on the floor in front of the lounger.

"You are gonna burn up, love. You're too fair skinned." 

"Make yourself useful. Rub some sun block on me then."

Annie undid the fastener of her bikini and wriggled with contentment as he massaged the cream into her skin. The villa was perfect, so much better than a hotel no matter how luxurious. Time to be alone and away from all the shit they had left behind at home.

"What about my legs?" He paused and then carried on pouring more cream and rubbing the backs of her legs.

"Higher!" He reached her thighs.

"Higher!" Terry stopped and seemed to clear his throat.

"What's the matter?" Annie reached back and grabbed his hand, returning it to her leg and pushing it against her inner thigh. " There." Her voice had dropped. He pulled his hand away.

Annie rolled on to her side and sat up, her bikini top falling away. Terry was squatting down at the side of the sun bed, a pensive look on his face, his lips pursed.

"What's the matter, Terry? Tell me. Don't go silent on me."

"Nothing."

"Nothing? If you think a reluctance to touch your girlfriend intimately is nothing then you have a big problem, mate."

Terry stood up and walked off, leaning on the balcony, which gave out onto a dramatic view of the bay below and the Ionian Sea.

Slipping off the bed, Annie made her way to where he stood, putting her arms around him and resting her head on his naked back. He was warm and brown beneath her bare skin.

"We have to try, Terry. We can't leave it like this. It's been three months. I think I'm ready; least ways I'm not scared, I'm willing to have a go. That's what this holiday is about. Testing the water. I'm better. All healed. Not a mark left. Even my hair has grown!" It had. Annie was now sporting a tousled short style; she liked it, thought she might keep it this length.

"You still have nightmares. You still jump if I come up on you unawares. The marks are inside, Annie. You still cry."

"Of course I do! It might take years to go away, maybe never. But I'm damned if I am going to let them win. Do you think I want to go on any longer knowing that the last man to have sex with me was one of those animals? Don't you think some loving from you might help me to heal? Or don't you want me anymore? Can't you touch me after them? Is this some kind of man thing I don't get?"

Terry rubbed his fingers through his hair; a sure sign that he was uncomfortable.

"Talk to me, Terry!"

"Give me some time, Annie."

"Time? Time for what? Three months is time. It happened to me and I'm ready. Don't do this to me. You're shutting me out and that is worse. I can only cope with this because you're here."

He turned away and sat on the edge of the pool, his legs in the water, avoiding her eyes. "I want you, Annie. Don't think I don't. More than ever. But every time I feel desire, it makes me feel sick, like I'm no better than they were. I want to do to you what they did. How can I do that?"

"They didn't make love to me! They raped me. It was about power and pain and humiliation. Desire for a woman is natural. I desire you. I didn't desire them- but I let them do it to me. I didn't fight or struggle. Had I done I think they would have killed me. My desire to live was stronger than my pride. And do you know why? Because of you. I shut them out and thought of you and I knew there was a part of me they couldn't touch. I didn't know if I had lost you but I decided I was going to live and get away and win you back. It kept me going in the dark, that feeling that no skinny American bitch was taking you from me. I'm sorry if you don't like me to call her that- but anger makes you strong sometimes."

Terry looked up at her and grinned. "You're amazing. How can you be this strong? I've seen some god-awful sights in my time, war zones, massacres, all sorts of nightmares. But when it happens to someone you love, it's different and it leaves scars. I'm scarred and I'm ashamed that I'm not as strong as you."

"Maybe it was easier for me. It happened to me. I couldn't influence that. But you are so riddled with helplessness and guilt that it is eating you up inside. You can't change the past but you mustn't let it dictate the future; I let that happen for years and I'm not about to make the same mistake again. If we don't sort this out soon, Terry, it will drive a wedge between us. We can't go on like this and no matter what we feel for each other, without sex we just have a friendship and that's not good enough. Eventually we would both require more than that."

"I might hurt you, you might get frightened..."

"Then you would stop. Now, Terry, before we lose this chance. Come with me. Help me."

Annie took his hands and led him back into the villa. At the bottom of the stairs, he picked her up and carried her to their room; she lay her head on his shoulder trying to be as calm as she sounded. She didn't feel calm; she felt terrified and wondered if he could feel her heart racing.

Placing her gently on the bed, he lay her down and removed the tiny bikini panties, the only item of clothing she was wearing and settled down beside her.

"No. You too. Take your shorts off too."

He obliged, turning his back to her and sitting on the bed.

"Don't hide from me! I'm not scared of your naked body!" Annie pulled him back and he lay down, staring at the ceiling, his arms thrown above his head. Annie lay back next to him.

"So we are just going to lie here, are we?"

"I can't just perform to order. I'm not a machine."

"I don't remember you needing much encouragement before! Touch me. Touch yourself, I don't care but do something. I'm not sure I can..."

Terry rolled on to his side and looked at her, pleading and desperate. He bent over and kissed her as much to avoid the accusation in her eyes that he was failing her when she needed him most than anything else. His kiss was gentle but he felt her respond and open her mouth, lightly sucking on his tongue and running her own round the inside of his lips. It was a start.

Lowering his head he kissed her neck, her ears, the hollow at the base of her throat and then her armpits, smelt the sun drenched sweat and found his desire for her rising. She was lying very still but seemed relaxed, so he moved his right hand to her breast and stroked the pink nipple, tweaking it and rolling it in his fingers as he suckled on the other breast. Annie let out a sigh and her nipples hardened to his touch.

Sweeping his hand down her, he rested it on her slender abdomen, wondering again at how small she seemed beneath his large hand, his thumb and forefinger twisting the red jewel in her navel. He looked up at her; her eyes were closed and she was breathing deeply. Taking this for a positive sign, he slid his hands down and luxuriated in the feel of the soft black hair between her legs. Annie's back arched slightly, pushing her groin towards him. Almost instinctively, he pushed his hands between her legs; she tensed but he could feel her wetness. Hesitating, he felt her hand cover his and push him onwards- she wanted more, despite her anxiety.

Terry moved his head to her groin and gently licked her intimate lips; she shuddered but immediately relaxed. Driven on by her scent, mingled with the smell of sun cream and the trace of a familiar perfume, he explored her further with his mouth, opening up the delicate folds of flesh, teasing her clitoris. Annie was beginning to move rhythmically in his hand, her body responding to her arousal. Moistening a finger, he inserted it in gently; she gasped but did not pull away. He tried a second finger and she arched and groaned; he knew she was near to orgasm.

Gently massaging with his fingers and continuing his lingual stimulation, he worked her until she was on the brink; her hands were gripping his hair and her hips were wildly flailing beneath him. With a desperate cry she came; her vaginal wall contracting powerfully in orgasmic waves; her thighs pushed together trapping his hand inside. Terry simply held her until she began to quieten down and her breathing returned to normal.

Withdrawing his hand he moved back to her and held her to him; it was enough. They had taken the first step. Annie suddenly spun round. " Don't stop!" Her eyes were tearstained but bright and burning spots were on her cheeks.

"Annie, you came. Don't go too fast. It's enough for now."

"It is not enough! I don't want an orgasm- I can give myself an orgasm. I want you. Inside me. Filling me up. Claim me back from them. Please."

Annie reached for him and gently, tentatively touched his cock, pulling back the skin and slowly jerking him back to its full hardness. "Now, Terry, now, honey!"

Watching her face, so scared that he might do something to frighten her, ready to pull away should she show fear, but desperate to feel her, he raised himself above her and parted her legs. She let him position her and he rested himself against her, stroking her wet lips with his erect penis. Finding her opening, he slipped his tip inside, the delicious shock of entering her almost bringing him straight to orgasm. He felt her tighten and cry out, she was too tense and to move further would hurt her.

"Relax. Breathe deeply. In and out. Let yourself go, Annie. You're nearly there, love."

He heard her whimper and then breathe a long slow breath; he pushed himself in further. Slowly he inched himself into her as she relaxed and opened up to him. Terry was no longer able to hold back; it had been so long and all the pent up emotion he had carried with him for months was screaming for release. In a few more forceful thrusts, he felt a surge of blood in his head and the sensation of falling and with a shudder he shot himself into her, the powerful muscles of his buttocks contracting and emptying himself into her warm, wet cunt.

As his mind began to clear, he pulled himself away and reached for her. She was lying quietly beneath him, her hands stroking his hair and murmuring to him.

"I'm sorry, Annie, I lost it there. You didn't come. I'm so sorry."

"I didn't have to come. Oh God, Terry, that felt so good. You needed me so much. We have both been damaged. Now we've healed each other. There's nothing else to be afraid of." She wiped the tears from his cheeks and they clung to each other in relief. They didn't need to speak; their bodies had done that for them.

Terry rolled on to his back, one arm above his head, the other holding her against his chest. Annie curled her legs around his and played with the hair on his chest.

"You know something, Annie? I think it's time you made an honest man of me."

"Is that some sort of proposal, Thorne?"

"Could be."

They lay there for a while longer, saying nothing.

"You waiting for an answer?"

"I think so."

"The answer's no."

"What?"

"Find that hard to believe? Can't imagine any woman turning down an offer from you? Dented your masculine pride, have I?" she teased.

"No, Annie. But if you don't say yes, you might just break my heart."

Annie raised herself and took his head in his hands.

"You really are a big soft bugger aren't you? Right, here's the deal. New dress for me, you in an Italian suit, exclusive restaurant, wine and dine me, get down on one knee, flash a very expensive rock, champagne all round; in other words make a complete prat of yourself and then I might, just might, say yes. But there's no way that you are getting away with this lightly. And that sad excuse for a proposal that I have just received is not going to get you anywhere, mate." Her eyes were dancing- they were already saying ' yes.'

"You are heartless, Annie Dwyer."

"Might as well start as we mean to go on, Terrence Thorne- just so that you know what you are getting yourself into. If you think the SAS was tough- you have no idea how hard life with me is going to be. Prepare yourself for a rocky ride!"