Mata Biru

 

 

PART ONE

"Dr. Thorne? What do you make of this?"

Annie Thorne jumped down into the trench and sat cross-legged on the dry mud floor, peering at the spot indicated by the younger woman. Scraping gingerly at it with a hand trowel, she loosened some of the earth around it and began to free the object. Using a pair of tweezers from her pocket, she carefully lifted it out and blew on it to clear some of the deposits. Holding it up to the light, she studied it.

"Not sure, needs cleaning up. Possibly some sort of votive offering.  They were pretty superstitious and would usually carry lucky objects. But I could be way off. We're not even sure it was a gladiator barracks yet. Mind you, with that wall of pornographic graffiti, it must have been either that or a brothel- can't be much else to explain it."

It was early July and Annie was in Morocco with a party of first year students from her course. It was a field trip and they were completing a four-week stint assisting an archaeological dig, which was in the process of uncovering a second century Roman settlement. It was hot and dirty and Annie wanted to go home.

Marking the strata level with a numbered tag, Annie climbed back out of the trench, s deposited her find in a small similarly numbered plastic wallet and sent the girl with it to the cleaning area. She dusted herself off and wiped the sweat from her forehead.

Suddenly she heard a familiar voice

"Annie Dwyer? Is that you?"

Annie spun round and whooped with delight.

"Dr. Jones! How marvellous to see you!"

The older woman rushed up and they hugged fondly. "It must be seven or eight years, my dear. And it's Professor Jones, now."

"Wow- the boss, eh? Congratulations! What on earth are you doing in this backwater? Thought you Oxford lot got the pick of the prestige projects!"

"Just touring the area. Thought I'd pop over. Are you on the team?"

"No, just nurse-maiding some undergrads. Boy, am I getting too old for this."

"Well, as I remember, archaeology was never your forte was it? Seem to remember dragging you out of trenches because you were so ham fisted that you always broke everything!"

"Yeah, but I was the world's best guide. I could talk for England- still can!"

"Annie, I have a meeting with the director in a few minutes. Are you free for dinner? I'd really love to catch up. I'm staying at the Imperial."

"Lucky you. We're at the bloody youth hostel. 'Course I'm free- not a decent man in sight so no chance of a hot date. About eight, professor?"

"Eight would be fine, and it's Sue, for God's sake!"

Just before eight, Annie entered the hotel and breathed a sigh of relief at the air conditioning; it was the first time in three weeks she had felt cool. 'I must be mad. I could be in Hong Kong in five star luxury with Terry and I'm stuck in a girls' dormitory in a flea bitten hostel, dodging sunstroke and ruining my nails. What a life!'

Professor Susan Jones had been Annie's tutor at Oxford and they had both developed a friendship in her student days; Annie in awe of the older woman's scholarship, Sue impressed by her student's intelligence and enthusiasm. But they had seen little of each other for years- there was much to catch up on. Professor Jones was waiting for her in the bar. She liked her tipple.

"What can I get you, Annie?"

"Just a beer. I'm thirsty."

They settled down with a drink and chose from the menu. At least Annie would not have to eat cous cous tonight.

"How's Bob? The kids?"

"Bob's fine. He's at home- doesn't get the holidays we do! Tom's in first year at Magdalen and Fliss is in VIth form- boarding. So it's just the two of us now- like newly weds these days- I love it!"

"God, I can't believe it. I used to babysit for you!"

"And you?"

"Got my doctorate at last and still at the same place. Sort of a fixture now."

And Ben? I expect he's a big noise in the City by now."

Annie took a sip of her drink. "You didn't know?" 

Sue looked surprised. "Know what?"

With a sigh, Annie told Sue of Ben's tragic death five years earlier; it was still something she found difficult to talk about.

"Annie, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. My big mouth. I just presumed...the ring"

"Everybody does. It's OK. It was years ago and I've moved on." 

The food arrived and Annie welcomed the interruption.

"How long have you been married?"

"Six months."

"Known him long?"

"Not very. Swept me off my feet. It's a long story." Annie laughed at the memories of her first encounters with Terry and her original intentions for him.

"Is he at the University?"

"God, no! The very idea of it! He's a kind of consultant, based in London but he travels a lot."

"Must miss him."

"I do."

"What's he like? Must be a tough act to beat a looker like Ben."

Annie pulled out her wallet and showed Sue a picture taken in Australia last winter.

"That's the three of us. Terry and his son. We must be the only honeymoon couple who actually took a fifteen year old with us!"

Sue whistled. "You certainly pick them. So didn't the son kind of get in the way?"

"Harry? No, he's special. Actually it was his first trip. Terry, my husband, he's Australian and it just seemed a great opportunity to see his family and introduce me and Harry at the same time. Terry has loads of brothers and sisters and they have millions of kids, Harry was in his element. Spent most of the Christmas learning how to surf and picking up sun bronzed Aussie girls. Seems to be getting more like his father every day!

We got plenty of time alone. Even went out in the outback, lived rough for a while. Just the kind of thing I hate, you know, but Terry has a knack of making anything fun!"

"I'll bet, you lucky dog. No plans for babies? Bet you two would make beautiful ones!"

Annie frowned. "Sore point at the moment. He's very keen. But... we've only been married six months and I hardly see him as it is. A baby is the last thing I need at the moment. Trouble is once he gets an idea in his head, he's like a dog with a bone. Bit of a control freak. Likes to take command. Thinks he can plan his life like a bloody military campaign. He used to be a soldier."

"A soldier? Annie, I don't believe it! Does he know you once laid siege to a barracks to protest at the situation in the Gulf!"

"No, I never got round to mentioning that- or the paint throwing incident - or getting arrested by military police trying to graffiti a tank. It gets worse- he was SAS."

"Jesus! I'll bet you have some splendid fights."

"I tend to avoid certain subjects but you know me, can't keep my mouth shut. Neither can he for that matter. We regularly have World War Three but the making up is usually fun!"

The conversation moved on to their subject and new research that had been published recently.

"Shouldn't you have published by now, Annie?"

"I was well on with my research and then soldier boy turned up and you know how it is. Suddenly a year or so had passed and I've done nothing much. That's the point about a baby. I'm finding my private research hard enough as it is; a baby would be the end of it completely."

"Not necessarily. I had two children and kept at it."

"You had Bob. He's always there for you. Terry might like the idea of happy families but in reality he'd be on his travels and I'd be stuck there on my own. You know what most men can be like. They never have to make any compromises like we do. Just having a baby is bad enough, never mind all the looking after and sleepless nights. Actually Sue, it scares me. Having a baby. I had a miscarriage last year in pretty awful circumstances and I'm not sure I want to take the chance. Part of me thinks it will happen again and I couldn't bear that. I thought I'd got over it but now it comes to it, I haven't."

"I had a miscarriage, Annie. Lots of women do. It doesn't mean the next time won't be smooth sailing. There's nothing to be scared of these days. Not like those poor Roman women. Wasn't childbirth and contraception one of your interests..."

They returned to their work and the evening passed off in pleasant conversation; Annie realised how starved she had been of late of company. The party of nineteen year old were so young and their chatter seemed mindless- Annie couldn't remember ever being so shallow.

In the taxi on the way back to the hostel, Annie thought about her conversation with Sue. She had needed to talk about her reluctance to get pregnant again but it was difficult without awkward explanations about last year and the terrible events that had caused her miscarriage. Apart from the few who had been involved, she had told no one; even the department believed that she had been in a car accident. She just wished she hadn't lied to Terry about going off the pill. He was going to go ballistic if he found that one out.

 

 

PART TWO

Terry Thorne rode the lift to the penthouse of the apartment block in Singapore. He had an appointment with one of the island's richest tycoons. Mr. Cheng had interests all over the Asia Pacific region but his logging company, the original heart of his fortune, was his current concern. Unrest in Indonesia was growing and companies that were perceived to be foreign owned were becoming targets for sabotage, attacks and hostage taking. Mr. Cheng wanted expert advice and was prepared to train his own private army if necessary. LT Security, a branch of Luthan Risk International, had been contacted with a view to handling the contract. It could be very lucrative and long term; Terry knew he could keep a few men here on a permanent basis for this one, maybe even open an office over here.

Singapore was an easy place to live, although Terry found its controlled perfection rather tedious; he preferred the dirty chaos of Bangkok or the frenetic pace of teeming Hong Kong. Still it was a beautiful city, safe and clean, great climate and not too far from home. It was tempting to think of relocation to a place like this; it was a good place to raise a family; something more permanent. But Annie would never leave London- she was bloody married to that job. She should be here with him now. Three weeks in the Far East on expenses- nothing to do but press the flesh and smile sweetly to company directors- they could have had a ball. But no, she preferred some muddy trench in North Africa with a bunch of spotty teenagers. Jesus- she drove him mad sometimes.

The lift doors opened on to a plush corridor, awash in oriental carpets and Chinese antiques. Terry fixed his tie and walked towards the large double doors of the apartment before which a surly Chinese man waited, watching him suspiciously.

"I have an appointment with Mr. Cheng. My name is Terrence Thorne. LT Security."

"ID." Terry showed his card. The man indicated that Terry should raise his arms. He was frisked for weapons. 'Jesus, this guy means business.' He thought, observing the telltale bulge of a high- powered handgun under the guard's jacket. Satisfied that the visitor was not armed, the man spoke into the mouthpiece he was wearing and Terry was admitted.

The apartment was millionaire chic, Oriental style. There were some beautiful pieces, clearly priceless antiques but the whole was completely over the top, everything dripping in gold trim and solid marble. Annie would have hated it. He could imagine her biting her lip to stop from laughing and saying something sarcastic under her breath. He smiled at the image of her in this overdone shrine to excess. But the view would have entranced her; the whole of Singapore at one's feet, with the sea glittering beyond in the distance. God, he wished he could show it all to her.

"Mr. Thorne? Good morning. I am Paul Cheng. I trust you are enjoying your stay in Singapore?"

Cheng was a tall, distinguished Chinese in his sixties with iron-grey hair and well tanned skin; he looked like he played plenty of golf. He was impeccably well groomed with that finish that spells money. The two men shook hands and Cheng led Terry into his office where they settled down to business. The billionaire wasted no time on niceties; his time was valuable and he outlined to Terry what his needs were and what he expected from them.

He was no fool; Cheng might live in air-conditioned splendour now but he had grown upon the mean streets of an earlier more dangerous Singapore- Terry had read the dossier. This man's fortune had been based on gunrunning in the sixties even before he had gained his first timber concession.  Money was not the object; Cheng indicated he was prepared to pay the price named but he expected one hundred percent; Terry imagined he would not be a good man to have as an enemy. The interview went well. Cheng had done his homework and knew Terry's reputation- he wanted him to take the job but accepted that the day to day running of the camp security would be associates and Terry or his partner Mr. Lapenti would only take a consultative role.

"Excuse me, Mr. Cheng. You have a video call from the US. Can you take it now?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Thorne. This is important. May I ask you to wait outside. I will arrange for refreshments. Tea? Coffee?"

"Tea will be fine." Terry stepped out into the large reception room and a maid poured him a cup of tea. He walked over to the window and looked out on the spectacular view, failing to hear the door from the inner apartment open.

"I hope you haven't been waiting long?"

Terry started and turned to see the owner of the voice. It was a woman; a beautiful woman. Tall and statuesque, the silk dress she wore hid none of her bountiful charms. Her dark red hair was swept up off her long shapely neck, her green eyes were curious and she was certainly looking at him but then he was looking at her too; it was very difficult to take your eyes of her.

He cleared his throat, put down the teacup and moved across the room. "Terrence Thorne. I have a meeting with Mr. Cheng. He is taking a private call." Terry extended his hand. The beautiful woman shook it; he felt the cool softness of her elegantly manicured fingers and the slight frisson of her touch surprised him.

"Pleased to meet you. I am Elizabeth Cheng. You must be the security expert. My husband mentioned you. I believe you are quite the adventurer, Mr. Thorne."

"Don't believe all you read, Mrs. Cheng," he answered with an unassuming smile.

"Come, come, Mr. Thorne. Credit where it's due, surely? What do you think of my home?"

Terry paused. "Very impressive. Beautiful antiques."

A laugh, light and playful. "You hate it- be honest. I do. It's like living in a bloody harem. Without the girls and the eunuchs, of course!" Her accent had slipped slightly; her polished tones were a veneer.

"What part of Oz?" Terry inquired.

"I wondered how long it would take you. I'm a country girl. Tullamore.It's..."

"I know. I was up near there last Christmas."

"God, I haven't been there for years. Don't intend to either. I'm hardly the outdoors type. Unlike you. Now you definitely look like a nature kind of guy."

Terry smiled. "Not these days. Cities, planes and hotel rooms. Not much nature there."

"Oh, I don't know. Depends what you define as natural!" It was a throwaway line but she said it with a hint of something, a certain arch of her eyebrow and Terry felt a little uncomfortable. He ruffled up his hair.

"So you're married? The ring." Terry nodded. 

"That makes two of us. Fun, isn't it? Any children?"

"One. A boy. He's fifteen."

"Started young, eh?" Terry smiled nervously. "I don't seem to have the maternal instinct myself. Luckily my husband has enough children from his former marriages so we're both satisfied with our arrangement."

The office door opened and the secretary called Terry back in. he was relieved at the interruption. Taking his leave of the luscious Mrs. Cheng, Terry returned to his meeting. It was the first time that he had felt like that for sometime. That woman had clearly been making a move and he had been enjoying it.

 

"I thought you were in Hong Kong?" Annie sat in the trench, trying to talk down her phone without getting any dirt on her face; she hadn't succeeded- her nose and cheeks were streaked with grime.

"That was yesterday. I stopped over here for a meeting."

"Does that mean you're going to be delayed? We've got a dinner on Saturday- should I cancel?"

"No. I'll be back by then. This is just a preliminary session. Looks like I'll have to be over here regularly in the next few months though."

"Great."

"Next time, you've got to come. You'd like it here and this hotel's the dog's bollocks."

"Hmm. A Holiday Inn would be luxury if you compared it to the place I'm staying in. I have to shower with nine other women."

"Sounds like heaven to me."

"Ha, ha. Looks I'll have to go. I'm knee deep in some sort of shit here. I'll bet it turns out to be a latrine or something. Can I talk to you later?"

"We're six hours ahead. I'll be asleep. Everything OK? No news?"

"No."

"Not for want of trying, eh? Never mind. We'll just have to get some practice in next week."

"Guess so. I must go. Love you." 

Annie hung up without listening to his reply and shoved the phone back into her pocket. I have to tell him. It's not fair. He's going to think something's wrong. Next thing he'll have me at some bloody fertility clinic. Annie swore to herself. For the first time she was not looking forward to his coming home.

 

 

PART THREE

When Terry arrived home, Annie was in the bathroom and didn't hear him. He threw down his things and pulled off his tie and jacket, running upstairs pulling at his cufflinks. He hoped she was in the shower; he intended to join her. Annie was standing in the middle of the bedroom wearing a black strapless bra and tiny black thongs.

"Oh yes!" he groaned as he walked through the door.

"God, Terry, you made me jump! No, don't get any ideas. You've time for a quick shower and then we have to go. Why are you so late? I've been ringing your phone for ages."

"Needs recharging. Plane was delayed. Aren't you even going to say welcome home?"

She bustled over and pecked his cheek. "Welcome home. OK. Get ready will you. I don't want to be late. It's going to be really formal and Sir. Geoffrey will hate it if we're late."

"Fuck, Annie. I forgot about that. Let's cancel. Go to bed. Come on. I'm so horny..."

"Get off me. We can't cancel now. It's too late. I asked you. You said you'd be back. You can't back out now."

"I've just got off a fourteen hour flight. I'm jetlagged."

"You'll live. We don't have to stay late. Don't look like that. I've had four bloody weeks of living like a Bedouin. I'm looking forward to a bit of elegant company and a chance to dress up. It's all right for you. You've been living the high life, as usual."

Terry exhaled sharply and pulled off his shirt. "Give me five minutes. Just tone it down a bit, will you? You're giving me a headache."

Annie followed him into the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, honey." She put her arms around him. "I'm horny too. We'll leave early, I promise. Tomorrow's Sunday. We can stay in bed all day."

He took her head in his hands and kissed her deeply. "I've missed you. Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"Nothing at all. Just hold that thought. And hurry up!" Annie pulled away and returned to her dressing. Terry sighed at the sight of her scantily clad rear and flicked on the shower.

 

Sir Geoffrey Luthan lived in St. John's Wood in a three storey Edwardian detached house in one of the most prized locations. Terry whistled when he saw it. " I fucking earned that for him!" he observed.

"That's what tonight is about, Terry. Mixing it with the big guys. You want this, you play their game. And before we go in. Best behaviour, please. No swearing, eying up the other women or glowering at people who annoy you."

"I don't do that."

"Oh yes, you do. You put that sour look on your face like you've just sucked on a lemon and give that sideways look of disapproval. I don't think you even know you're doing it."

Terry looked sideways at her. 

"You're doing it now."

"I'm not." 

The door opened and they were led, by a Filipino maid, into an elegant hallway where they were greeted by Sir Geoffrey and his wife, Lady Marjorie.

"Terry, old chap. Delighted to see you. When did you get back? Must introduce you to Malcolm. He's just got the Foreign Office- the PM's very taken by him. He could be useful..."

Annie was left with Lady Marjorie, a haughty county type who treated Annie as if she were one of the junior staff. Remembering her advice to Terry, Annie repressed a desire to glower and instead smiled sweetly and let her rabbit on about her latest horse, which was being entered for some big race until she spied someone more important arriving and dropped Annie flat. It was a relief. Finding herself momentarily alone, she helped herself to a glass of champagne and went to look at the bookshelves on the far wall of the reception room.

"Mrs. Thorne?"

It was Ian Havery, Terry's former boss, now colleague. They had met before briefly at some cocktail but had then merely exchanged pleasantries. Terry loathed him with a passion and Annie had heard enough about Havery's casual betrayal of trust and the times his indifference had needlessly risked her husband's life to feel a similar sense of dislike. However Mr. Havery seemed to feel quite differently; he greeted her with a charming smile.

"Mr. Havery."

"Please, Ian. May I call you Anna?" Nobody called her by her proper name but she let him continue. Annie was what her friends called her. "You looked a little lost there. Your husband seems to have deserted you. Perhaps I could fill in for the time being?"

Some chance filling his shoes, Annie wryly thought. "He's doing his duty, Ian. I'd hardly call it pleasure. Is your wife not here tonight?"

"No. She's away. Visiting our daughter in Canada. I'm at a loose end tonight. You look well. Have you been on holiday? Did you go East with Terry?"

"No. I was on a dig in Morocco. Dig? Archaeology? Did you know my field?"

"Oh yes, that's right. You're a Classicist , aren't you. My subject, too. I read Classics at Cambridge many years ago, before Sandhurst. Can't say I've kept up though. Always wondered about that. You and Terry- not an obvious couple, are you?" He smiled but there was a hint of inquiry. Was he fishing for evidence that the honeymoon might be over?

"You'd be surprised, Ian. There's more to Terry than meets the eye."

"Oh, I'm sure there is, my dear girl. He has certainly surprised us all this past year. But he must stand out in University Circles!"

"My husband stands out anywhere, Ian. He's just that kind of guy. Alpha male I think they call it." Annie was beginning to get irritated and her tongue was itching. 'Watch it, Annie,' she thought to herself.

"Well in that case you are well matched then, Anna. You're certainly an Alpha female. Beautiful, brilliant and charming. He's a lucky man. I hope he appreciates it."

At that moment, dinner was served and Annie moved away, looking for Terry. Before she could claim him, Lady Marjorie whisked her away to her place at the long table in the dining room. Twelve guests, set places; Terry across the table next to some old bat Annie didn't know and the sinuous Pamela, Sir Geoffrey's PA. It was clear Pamela approved of the seating arrangements by the self-satisfied smirk on her face. Annie wondered about Pamela- she had a feeling there was a bit of history between her and Terry and his slightly bashful look as he held her chair and whispered something almost playfully in her ear only served to confirm her suspicions. He had a right to his past but he didn't have to look as though he was enjoying himself so much.

Annie found herself seated on the right by some fool from the insurance arm of the company and then realised that Ian was taking the chair to the left. She tried to catch Terry's eye but he wasn't paying any attention. Goody Two Shoes was in full flow and he seemed to be lapping up the attention, not to mention taking in an eyeful of her coffee coloured décolletage. Ian must have followed her line of vision.

"Pamela and Terry go back a long way. I believed they dated for a while some years ago."

"Really? How kind of you to mention that."

"I'm sorry, Anna. I didn't mean to offend. It was nothing. Just a brief fling when his divorce came through. He's not been one for long-term relationships before. That was one of the many plus points about him. No ties, no responsibilities. His job is not ideally suited to family life."

"Was, not is. It's different now. He's not really in the field anymore."

"Can you see him sitting at a desk? He's on the fringes, Anna, but if something big comes up, he'll want to be there on the spot. He's a hands-on man. Won't trust anyone else."

"I know. You're right. I worry about him sometimes."

"It must be lonely when he's away. What do you do?"

"I have my work. Friends. I like my own company."

"Do you like the ballet? My wife and I often go. Let me know if you fancy joining us anytime when you are at a loose end."

"That's very kind of you. I love ballet. I danced for ten years as a girl; actually I was offered a scholarship to the Royal Ballet when I was sixteen but I didn't want the career. Wasn't good enough to be a star and wouldn't settle for Corps de ballet. Yes, I would enjoy an evening at the ballet. It's ages since I've been. I can't quite see Terry sitting through Swan Lake, can you? I tried opera on him but he fell asleep. I was so embarrassed!"

They laughed. "Chacun à son gout, Anna?"

"No, he's just a Philistine. Bottle of beer and the Rugby is his preferred audio visual experience."

"Oh, surely not. Not with you about the house, my dear!"

Annie blushed and made a show of asking the waiter for more wine. Terry was still deep in conversation; she wished he would look up.

Ian was an interesting dinner companion, much more personable than Annie had imagined. He was well travelled, well read and urbane- he knew a great deal about politics and current affairs and was surprisingly more enlightened and broadminded than she would have imagined; quite a liberal thinker. The evening passed off very pleasantly and Annie found herself laughing more than she had expected; he was very amusing too.

After dinner it was brandy and cigars in the library and Terry indicated that they might make their exit; Annie shook her head- it would be too obvious, no one else was leaving. He looked annoyed; she could see that set on his jaw - he had had enough small talk and wanted to get her alone. 'That's what I want too, but you can't just walk out, like a spoiled teenager' she thought.

Later on the drive home, Terry was quiet- Annie thought he was probably tired. When they reached home he threw down the keys and poured himself a large Scotch.

"Haven't you had enough to drink? Let's go to bed."

"Good idea- you didn't seem so keen on it before."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Thought we were supposed to leave early. Of course that was before Dickhead showed up and started sniffing round you."

"Pardon?  Are you referring to Ian Havery? I was sitting next to him at dinner. Did you expect me not to talk to him? Bit rich coming from you. You had your nose so far down Miss Café au Lait's cleavage that it is a wonder it wasn't in her lap."

"Don't be ridiculous. Pamela is a colleague. I've known her for years. She's a great help."

"Yeah, right. You just have to get over this thing about Ian. Actually he's quite a nice guy. Good conversationalist. Interesting to talk to and very charming. So what if I enjoyed myself? It is allowed for me to talk to another man. Hard for you to imagine that a man can spend a pleasant evening with a girl and not be trying to get into her knickers? Men are not all like you, you know."

"Grow up, Annie," Terry growled. "Just because he talks the talk doesn't mean he doesn't want to get into your knickers as much as the next man."

"And you weren't after Pamela's knickers? Oh- I forgot- you've been in them already, haven't you?"

"What?"

"Ian told me. You used to go out with her."

"How public spirited of him. And I didn't go out with her."

"Well, you slept with her."

"Once after a cocktail when my divorce came through. Years ago."

"Look, Terry. This is really stupid. We are tired and this is a pointless argument. Let's just go to bed." Annie took off her shoes and made for the stairs.

Terry smiled. "You're right. Let's go and make babies."

Annie spun round and threw down her shoes in temper. "Will you shut up about that! Can't we just have sex for once without you going on about babies every time."

Terry walked over and pulled her to him. "I'm sorry. Don't worry. I know you must be upset. I didn't mean to put pressure on you. It will happen- last time we did it and we weren't even trying!"

"No it won't happen." Annie shrugged him off. "Not if I'm on the pill it won't."

"But your not!"

"But I am."

He stepped back and rubbed his face. "Why did you lie to me?"

"I was going to tell you. I just didn't know how."

"I thought you fucking wanted this as much as I did."

"Charming. Actually I didn't. You just bulldozed me along as usual and I got carried away by you. Terry- I don't want a baby yet. I'm too young and I still have stuff in my career I want to achieve."

"Crap. You're twenty-nine and your career's going nowhere. We're more important than your job and you know it."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. It's funny how having a baby doesn't impinge on your ability to have a career. Why have I got to make all the sacrifices? You want me stuck at home with a load of kids while you swan around like some kind of freewheeler. Fuck you."

"It doesn't have to be that way. I've been thinking- something more permanent. This job in the East- I could move the office to there and we could live in Singapore for a few years. It would be nearer home, the weather's great, we could get a maid..."

"Well you really have been working things out. Live in bloody Singapore? Are you completely mental? You're nor manipulating me to get your own way this time."

"Manipulate you? No fucking way, mate. You're the one who's been playing all the games, love. 'Sorry honey, better luck next month.' Bet that really cracked you up."

"I've had enough of this. I'm going to bed- don't hurry up!"

Running up the stairs, she went into the bedroom and slammed the door. Terry poured another shot of whisky and stood by the window staring out into the night, resting the cold glass on his aching forehead. 'Why didn't she just tell me? I never know what she wants. I thought it would be good for her after all she lost. Perhaps it's too soon. I should have realised.'

Downing the contents of the glass and switching off the lights, he sighed and went upstairs.

The bedroom was in darkness, Annie feigning sleep. He used the bathroom, undressed and joined her but she had rolled to the other end of the bed, as far away as she could go.

"Annie, I know you're awake. Let's make love. We'll feel better then." He nuzzled up to her, rubbing himself against her buttocks.

"Go away! I hate it when you do that. I'm not in the mood. Piss off."

Terry rolled back and lay there a while and then threw back the covers and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" Annie asked.

"Spare room." He banged the bedroom door hard on his way out.

Tears ran down Annie's cheeks. 'Why did I tell him like that? He must be so hurt. I want him so much and I push him away. What's the matter with me? Jumping out of bed, she ran to the door- she was not going to let him sleep alone. 'I'll apologise. Tell him how stupid I've been...' As Annie opened the door, she ran straight in to Terry returning to her.

"Bit cold in there, love," he said, sheepishly. He cradled her face, still wet with tears, in his large hands and gently kissed her. His kiss. No one kissed like he did. Annie had never known anyone give himself over to a kiss like that, eyes closed, lashes lowered and his mouth able to speak to her in a way that no words could convey- that language of love and desire. Finally they broke away and he held her to him.

Annie whispered."No need to kiss on the doorstep, Terry. My Dad's not in. Come in and rub up against me all you want!" He swept her up in his arms and carried her inside.

 

 

PART FOUR

The plane cruised at 30,000 feet and Annie lay back and purred. It was a long flight but thirteen hours in first class with Terry all to herself was some compensation. First class! Annie had never travelled this way before and she loved it. They even had completely reclining beds! She turned on her side and watched Terry as he slept. 'Why not,' she thought. There's hardly anyone else in first and they can't see us anyway.' Slipping her hand under his blanket, she made a move to join the mile high club, unzipping him and sliding her hand beneath his pants into his shorts, jerking him slowly and watching his face.

Suddenly he woke with a grunt. The stewardess hurried over to inquire whether Mr. Thorne needed anything while Terry flung an in-flight magazine over his groin and Annie shook with scarcely contained laughter. The look on the air hostess' face showed that she knew exactly what was going on and was enjoying his discomfort as much as Annie was.

"Come on, Terry. I dare you. No one can see us. The loo's big enough in first anyway."

"No way. They cane you in Singapore for chewing gum. Can you imagine what they do for public lewdness?"

"Chicken."

"Just you wait until I get you to that hotel room, mate. Then you'll see what I do to naughty girls who interfere with other people's genitals!"

 

He was true to his word. As the startled bellboy opened the door to their suite in the Shangri-La Hotel, Terry threw Annie over his shoulder and thrust a few dollars into the boy's hands. "Here's a tip, mate. Never give them the chance to say no!" and he slammed the door and tossed Annie on the bed, using his legs to hold her down and pulling her T-shirt over her head to restrain her arms so that she could not fight him. Wrenching down her shorts and panties, he laughed wickedly as she bucked and struggled. Not that she could have done much against him- it only took a minimal amount of force for him to completely disable her, but he liked her to have the freedom to move- it increased the fun.

"This is for the plane," he grunted as he released his cock and pushed into her, Annie trying to bite him but loving every minute of his rough lovemaking. The doorbell rang.

"Ignore it." Annie gasped as he thrust into her.

"Housekeeping. They'll come in- it's probably a welcome bowl of fruit. I didn't lock it. I can't go like this." He pulled out and indicated his engorged erection.

Annie banged her head back on the pillow in frustration and jumped off the bed, throwing on his shirt, which he had just shrugged off. She didn't even bother to fasten it.

Opening the door, she said. "Come back later..." but it wasn't Housekeeping. It was a very beautiful red-haired woman wearing an expensive white silk suit. Annie remembered another time that she had opened the door to an unexpected beauty. Terry did seem to get a lot of unsolicited visits from women.

"Can I help you?"

"I need to see Mr. Thorne. He's the gentleman you are with at the moment if you haven't got round to names yet."

"Thanks for the information. Not possible, I'm afraid. He's occupied. Something just came up. Can I take a message?" At that moment Terry shouted, " Get in here- now!"

The woman raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Message?  My name is Elizabeth Cheng. Tell Mr. Thorne that I need to see him urgently- but obviously not as urgently as you do. Hurry along, honey, looks like something may be going down in there!" and she turned on her heel and sashayed down the corridor towards the lift. 'Who the fuck is she?' Annie thought.

Racing back into the room, she found Terry, now completely naked and lying on the bed in all his glory and she launched herself on to him. "What kept you?" he said.

"Not now," said Annie raising her head. "It's rude to talk with your mouthful!"

 

Waking later that afternoon, Annie wriggled over to the other side of the enormous bed to snuggle up to Terry. They had both fallen asleep, worn out by time difference and the effects of the energetic lovemaking session they had enjoyed. Drifting back to sleep again, she heard the phone ring and felt Terry jump up, pushing her away and rubbing his eyes as he picked up the receiver. She heard him snap into a professional tone and conduct a short conversation, mostly yes and no.

"Who is it?" she inquired sleepily from under the sheets where she was trying to elicit a further reaction from him. He didn't offer any opposition, so she continued playing with him. "Cheng. Wants to meet for dinner. Raffles at 8," he murmured contentedly.

"Cheng. That woman before- you know the one who rang the bell when we were on the job? She was called Cheng. Elizabeth Cheng. Any relation?"

"Yeah. The wife... Don't stop... that's so good... What did she want? I've no business with her."

"Hmm. Well I think she's got some business with you. Glad I came. She seemed to think I was a hooker or something."

He snorted. "Come on let's investigate that bathroom. You can show me what hookers do in a hotel tub..."

 

Raffles by night was a sight to behold. Restored to its original elegance, the colonial hotel filled an entire block in white columned perfection festooned with tropical flowers and palm trees. Strolling through its marble corridors, along colonnades open to the warm humid evening, Annie felt that it was like going back in time to another age when beautifully coutured women escorted by men in dinner suits, dressed for dinner and drank exotic cocktails in an atmosphere of cultured politeness.

She was wearing a yellow off the shoulder cocktail gown which would have appeared incredibly overdressed in London but seemed to fit right in there. Her shoulders were white but she did not seem to stand out amongst the pale Chinese women- sunbathing was obviously not de rigeur even in this hot climate. In fact Annie felt taller that usual next to the delicate local beauties; another reason that she was glad she had accompanied Terry- she knew his taste for small, slender women. He looked enormous as he passed other diners and guests- and she could see the looks he was receiving from appreciative ladies.

The Chengs were waiting for them in a secluded alcove in the premier restaurant. Mrs. Cheng seemed to register some surprise at the sight of Annie much to her amusement. Terry introduced his wife to the couple.

"Delighted to meet you Mrs. Thorne. I had no idea that Mr. Thorne was bringing his wife! If I had known I would have arranged for you to have one of my service apartments. So much better for a family than a hotel room."

"Family?" Annie inquired.

"I thought you had a son?"

Elizabeth Cheng broke in. "Hardly. I suspect you're the second wife, aren't you dear?"

Annie smiled coldly at her. "That's right. We're almost newly weds. You could say this was a sort of honeymoon." There was a note of triumphalism that Mrs. Cheng clearly read.

"How sweet. I hope you had a good flight. Have you had some rest since you arrived? A few hours in bed always refreshes after the London trip, I find."

Annie saw Terry's amusement and heard him reply. "Yeah, we got a bit when we arrived." She glared across at him, annoyed at his flirting. What did he want- mud wrestling, winner takes Thorne?

As they were led to their table she dug her nails into his hand and whispered 'Behave!' He giggled and mouthed back, 'Make me!' It was hard to be angry with him when he put that face on.

The meal was quite an ordeal for Annie. Cheng and Terry talked business and made no effort to include their wives. That was evidently how it was done here- women were the trophy wives, purely for decoration and pleasure. Elizabeth showed little inclination to make small talk, striking a pose and smoking between courses.

"You don't smoke?" she asked of Annie. 

"Hardly ever," Annie replied.

"Only afterwards, hey?"

Annie leaned over so that the men couldn't hear. "None of your fucking business."

Elizabeth smirked and blew smoke in her face. "OK, love. Cards on the table time," her accent had suddenly changed and she was obviously an Aussie. "Don't worry- I won't take him off you but I do intend to root him. Just once. Unless he can get it up a few times in one sitting- then more than once.  What do you reckon? Is he good for that?" Flicking ash across Annie's plate, she took a sip of her wine.

Annie had no intention of allowing herself to match insult for insult. That was what the bitch wanted. She looked across at Terry who caught her eye and smiled. "Have a go, dear, by all means. But you don't stand a chance. Not a fucking hope." The two women continued to view each other with open disdain.

"May I get anyone a brandy or liqueur? " Mr Cheng interrupted. Annie took a brandy but Elizabeth ordered Scotch, "I think I'll have a bourbon. I like the taste of something rough on my tongue," she cooed.

 

"You were encouraging her Terry! She almost opened her legs for you at the table!"

They were on the balcony of their suite an hour or so later. "It was just a bit of fun, love. She's a man-eater -but no worries! I'm already caged and chained."

"You have no idea what she said to me, the bitch."

"What?"

"I'm not telling you but if she comes sniffing round you I'll give her a good slapping." 

He laughed "Now, that I'd pay money to see, love!"

Annie laughed too and looked at him. He had pulled off his dress shirt and jacket and was leaning back against the balustrade, flexing his muscles. Even in air conditioning it was uncomfortable to wear formal clothes in this climate.

"Tired? Want a massage?" Annie had noticed some aromatic oil in the well-stocked bathroom earlier.

"Beaut." She ran in to the bathroom and found a large towel and the oil. Throwing back the sheets, she unrolled the towel and called him over. "Get your kit off then and let me at you."

Terry lay down on his front while she straddled him, clad only in her underwear. She poured oil over his back and began to rub it in, working it into his shoulder muscles and kneading his spine between her knuckles; he sighed with pleasure. So did Annie- she never tired of touching him, marvelling at his powerful physique and the solid steel of him in her small hands. Slowly she worked down him: his enormous upper arms, his hands, his fingers and then down to the base of his spine where she knelt on him until he groaned with the pressure.

Stroking oil over his tight buttocks, she traced her fingers down the cleft and parted his thighs enough to slip her hand between and begin to massage down his right leg, squeezing and pressing, ruffling up the hair and smoothing it down again until she came to his feet to which she paid special attention, knowing how much he liked that. Continuing up the left leg she repeated her attentions; he seemed quiet and she wondered if he had nodded off. Slapping his butt playfully, she told him to turn over- he was not asleep and rolled over quickly, ready for more.

As she worked upwards from his feet to his chest, ignoring his groin this time because she knew that would wind him up, she felt him watching her. Suddenly he spoke.

"It just keeps getting better, Annie. I don't tell you enough how I feel. I've never had anything like this. There've been a few good moments- Harry's birth, a few other times, but every time it was taken from me and I was left worse than I started. But with you it's everything I've ever wanted. You make up for all the bad trips."

It startled Annie for him to just open up, unprovoked. She carried on with her ministrations. "What was the worst? For me it was Ben's death. That still hurts. Even more than what happened last year, in a strange way. Do you mind that?"

He shook his head. "Worst three moments- reverse order. Three- When Penny finally kicked me out. Not her- losing Harry. Then there was..." he stopped.

"Alice? It's OK. You can say that."

"Yeah, Alice. On a hillside in Tecala when we got out of that helicopter and she drove away. Felt like everything I'd ever wanted was gone. I don't know how I stopped myself from running down the mountain and dragging her out of that car. Dino kept talking to me- some shit- but I know what he was really trying to say. That was the worst until... until last year. When I saw what they did to you... I thought you would die. I couldn't have gone on then. I wouldn't have wanted to - there would have been no point. Dino said nothing. He understood. What was there to say?" He fell silent and closed his eyes.

The room was so quiet and the moment seemed almost sacred, Annie for once did not volunteer a reply. Suddenly she realised that he had fallen asleep. She sat back and watched him, not aroused this time but amazed at how much she loved him. As she swept her eyes over his naked body, one knee bent and flung out slightly, she had a feeling that he needed protecting, like a child. He seemed vulnerable and fragile; even his impressive manhood seemed exposed and innocent. Annie wished she could wrap him up and keep him safe. How absurd to feel like this towards this man who was the epitome of strength and masculinity. But that was Terry; a curious blend of strong and vulnerable and the confidence to show both sides of his personality.

All at once a thought struck her. He was right. They were more important than anything. Who knew what life would do to them and when all this might be taken from them. There was no time to waste- she should have learnt that lesson by now. 'I will have his child. He deserves so much more from me than that.  I have been selfish.'

Covering him over, she went into the bathroom and found her pills. 'Three left. Might as well stop now.' She tossed the packet into the bin.

 

 

PART FIVE

Three weeks later, after Terry had been backwards and forwards to Indonesia while she had stayed in Singapore to see the sights, they took a real break in Bali as he had promised her. It was the first holiday they had spent on their own in almost a year and it was heaven.

As Annie jumped down from the tourist bus after a busy morning at an art workshop and batik factory, she made her way through the vast entrance hall, built like a Balinese palace of teak, heading for their cabana. She wandered along quasi jungle walkways festooned with exotic flora and dwarfed by the thirty-foot rainforest within which the hotel complex had been built. It was a taste of paradise- with ultimate luxury. Annie felt that she would even be prepared to spend another evening in the company of the red haired man-eater if necessary to thank Mr. Cheng for his hospitality- this hotel was one of his many holdings.

Terry had declined the invitation to spend the morning messing with batik making and had preferred to indulge in a Balinese massage- still hankering for tiny Asian girls, no doubt. Their cabana was set in its own grounds, with a small pool, Jacuzzi and massage table laid out under a flower hung pergola- it was just obscene decadence and Annie loved it.

Rounding the corner to enter the property, she paused and shook her head. That man had more cheek than a barrel full of chimps. He was on the massage table with two minute Balinese girls and by their giggles they were enjoying his body as much as he was enjoying the massage.

"This will cost you big time, Thorne, you jammy bastard!" He looked up and grinned. 

"Come and join us, love, there's room for one more!"

"Dream on! I think I'll pay a visit to the spa. They say they have local boys on tap there- none of them over eighteen, smooth and sinewy with permanent hard-ons for white flesh- and a refractory period of about five minutes. Guess who's going to have more fun!" She sat down cross-legged by the table, watching them work his muscles.

"No worries. You'll be back for some real Aussie muscle quick enough."

"He's all talk girls, I'm afraid. Old war wound- such a shame."

"They don't understand anything but body language. Christ, Annie, they walk up and down on your spine. It's better than sex. "

"Pervert. I bought something." Annie held out a bolt of material.

"What is it?"

"A sarong."

"Great. Wear it after your shower. Easy access. Like an American bra- you know, one Yank and it's off." He joked.

"It's not mine. It's yours."

"What!" Terry raised himself off the bench almost upending the girl who was crouched on his back. "I'm not wearing a skirt."

"Oh come on- let's go native. Anyway easy access- I could just run my hands up the hem..."

"I'm not wearing a skirt."

"Seems I remember you doing in one of my fantasies."

"Fantasies are different. You can put me in anything in your fantasies but I'm keeping my pants on in the real world."

"It's the fashion. Get with it. Jean Paul Gaultier... David Beckham..."

"Pooftas. I rest my case."

"Chicken"

"No, man. Don't wear dresses."

"Right spoilsport. I'm going to have a shower. I must have sweat buckets at that factory."

"Give me half an hour and I'll lick it off."

"You are disgusting. But I'll find something for you to lick when you're ready!!"

By the time, Terry joined her in the air-conditioned cool of the cabana, Annie had showered and was experimenting with tying a blue silk sarong that she had bought for herself. She had tied her hair up and pushed a red hibiscus into it to complete the ethnic feel. It didn't take long to work. Terry lost the towel and lay down on the floor underneath her, investigating his theory on the easy accessibility of the native sarong.

It was hard to concentrate with him under her skirt and Annie lowered herself down gently on his face, relishing the promised lingual attention. Moaning with the delicious torture of it, she could not stay on her haunches and dropped forward to reciprocate. Rolling over and over on the thick carpet, they enjoyed each other, she smelling of soap, he of massage oil. Leaving his now throbbing cock to her hands she paid some attention to his sack, taking one testicle in her mouth and then the other, running her other hand along the tender wrinkled skin beneath and circling his anus. She knew his weaknesses by now and felt his balls tighten at her touch, presaging his imminent orgasm.

Forcing herself to stop she raised her head and merely kissed and fondled him while he buried himself within her and brought her to a wild almost heart stopping orgasm as he ran his tongue over and over her hard hot clit. Wild for him now, she lay on the floor with her legs wide open as he knelt before her, both of them so aroused that they could hardly speak. He pushed her back and bent her legs towards her chest, pulling one round his back to gain maximum depth.

"Let's see how far you can go, big boy," she teased as he rammed into her, his hands rough on her breasts and hair. It was a good position, so good that she thought he might tear her apart; she could feel his tip banging against her cervix until she felt an almost bruised sensation. The effect was cataclysmic for both of them and they both cried out when they came, she a high wail of ecstasy, he a deep howl. His semen spurted into - so deep that she almost felt it flood her womb and she was always sure that was when it happened.

"Can it get any better than this?" Annie wondered out loud as they lay panting and exhausted on the floor, neither of them with the strength to move even to the bed.

"If it does, it will fucking kill me," he replied but stretching like a great cat to belie his words.

Lying there, sharing a cigarette, he seemed to be thinking and then:

"What's the refractory period?"

"Have you got a delayed action brain or can your blood only power one organ at a time?"

"What is it?"

"Men know nothing about their bodies, do they? Women read Cosmo and know as much about their anatomy as a gynaecologist."

"Yeah and blokes buy porn and know as much about women's anatomy as a gynaecologist. Answer the question, Annie!"

"I read it in FHM in a dentist's waiting room. When men buy FHM do they still just look at the pictures?"

"Answer the bloody question!"

"OK, keep you hair on. The refractory reflex is the time it takes men to 'fill up' after ejaculation. Gets slower as you get older. Men are best at about 16, women, as we know, just get hotter with age. Sod's law that really, isn't it. God - that means you are more than twenty years past your best- whereas I haven't even got there yet!"

"You are a mine of fucking useless information, mate."

"Useless? Typical male reaction - up there with that other great piece of male misinformation -' size doesn't count, it's the way you use it...' I've never yet met a woman who agreed with that one!"

"Then you've no worries on that score, have you, love?" he replied smirking.

"Big head!" she laughed throwing her sandal at him.

"Exactly my point," he grinned catching the shoe and turning her over his knee. She screeched as he playfully spanked her. As she wriggled against his groin, she recognised his growing interest.

"Jesus, Terry, is that a concealed weapon or are you just pleased to see me? You must have been amazing at 16!"

"In- fucking- credible!" he replied.

 

 

PART SIX

Late September, Annie was staring out of her office window at the droves of freshers being led around the campus. Another year was about to start. Before her was the computer at which she was attempting, with little enthusiasm, to prepare some lecture notes for new courses. Her mind kept drifting to their summer in the East, especially the week in Bali; it already seemed an age ago. Since they had returned things had continued to be so good. Terry had been at home for weeks and was even keeping regular hours for once. In fact they hadn't spent a night apart in two months- quite a record.

Life had almost become mundane. Annie felt that they were actually living together as a couple at last. Even going to the supermarket or watching Newsnight or some Arts programme while he dozed on the chair seemed like a gift. It had been a fine September, an Indian summer, and on many nights they had just strolled down to a local pub and had a beer and talked like other couples who didn't have to fear the phone ringing and some emergency pulling him away on the other side of the world.

Add to that the dawning realisation that she might be pregnant and it was no wonder that Annie was so distracted. She wasn't sure but she thought that her period was overdue. It was hard to tell after coming off the pill. She had come on while she was away and nothing since- that was more than five weeks ago. But it might just be that her cycle was screwed; that often happened when you stopped taking the pill. It was too early to say anything to Terry- she would hate to have to disappoint him again- maybe next week she would do a test and then she would let him know.

Her phone rang and brought her back to reality. "Annie?" She should have guessed. It was bound to happen if she tempted Providence.

"Look something's come up. I'm going to have to fly back to Indonesia. There's been some sort of rebel raid on one of the camps and all hell has broken loose. Cheng is screaming blue murder and won't deal with anyone but me. One of our guys is in a bad way in a local hospital and there has been maximum damage and casualties. I'm sorry love- I'm booked on the midnight flight. Any chance you can get home now?"

Annie switched off the computer and grabbed her bag and jacket. 'Shit, shit, shit,' she thought, 'I hope this isn't a long one.'

 

The single engine plane coasted to a stop on the open field and Terry jumped out, reaching back to pull out a backpack. No matching leather luggage here- this was primitive with a capital P. At the perimeter of the field he saw the jeep and Tomas Krasjinski waiting for him. He ran over to join him, already soaked with sweat in the thick humidity.

"Hi, boss. Welcome to the Hilton," grinned Tomas. He was a crazy Pole whom Terry had first met years ago in a shanty town somewhere in Africa and they had drunk a bar dry between them. He had been a mercenary then with some bad shit behind him and Terry had offered him something more respectable- he had used him as backup since in Chechnya and Afghanistan. Despite his complete inability to function in the real world, Tomas was the kind of guy you would want standing behind you when trouble started.   He relished this job, despite its basic standards; his regular trips to Jakarta suited him well- plenty of dirty sex in back street bars. Terry suddenly felt old at the thought of it.

As they hit the dirt track, Terry took a sharp intake of breath at the speed and maniac quality of Tomas' driving. When they swerved violently to avoid a bend with a looming hardwood in front of them, Terry shouted "Shit, mate, take it easy. It's a good job my wife isn't here. She has a thing about boy racers. Says it's something to do with small dicks- a penis complex."

"Never thought I'd see the day a chick got you to slow down, Terry! Remember that night in Bangkok? They were all over us. How many you do?"

Terry laughed at the memory. "More like they did me, mate. Those Thai girls are like fucking piranha. Eat you alive. My dick was like a burnt chip the next day."

"Dino say she some lady, your wife. Great looker and plenty sassy, too. What she see in you?"

"Brains, mate. She's after my brains."

"Then is a good job you don't keep them under your hat. 'Cos I don't think she's lookin' for them there!"

"Watch it, mate- that's my wife you're talking about. And if I ever allow you to get within a mile of her, keep your stories to yourself. She thinks I used to be an altar boy!"

"I'll bet." Tomas swerved to run over a snake that was frantically trying to slither out of their way. "Jeez- I love this. Better than F1!"

The compound was secured but very primitive- this was the most remote logging camp in these parts- definitely short on the comforts of home. He was shown to a room in the manager's bungalow. Throwing down his bag he gave it a good search; he did not fancy waking up the next morning curled up next to a cobra. A quick look at the bathroom and he decided instead to find a tree and shower outside with the rain butt and a hand bucket; there was enough unidentified material on the bathroom floor to stock a germ warfare laboratory and the insect life was an entomologist's wet dream.

Terry smiled at the memory of a motel room somewhere in the outback last December when he had pulled back the shower curtain and jumped about a metre at the sight of a spider slightly larger than Tasmania. Annie had howled with laughter, especially when she had ascertained that it wasn't some dangerous arachnid, like a funnel web, but merely a common or garden monster. So- he was scared of spiders- everyone had a phobia. Of course, Annie- who would faint if she saw a mouse or a grass snake-wasn't bothered by spiders and she had picked the bloody thing up and waved it in his face while he shuddered and ducked away. Told everyone when they got back- thought it was fucking hilarious. It was actually.

Dinner was some unidentifiable animal in a curry with rice on a tin plate- thankfully washed down by plenty of ice-cold Tiger beer. Jet lag caught up with him early and he decided to hit the sack, calling Annie first but she was out and her hand phone rang for ages without answer- it was probably in the bottom of her handbag and she couldn't hear it- what was the point of a hand phone if you never kept it to hand? Women!

The air conditioner was faulty and the room was hot. Terry stripped off and decided to lie on top of the bed under the mosquito net; he didn't really like the look of the sheets anyway. It didn't take him long to drop off, so quickly in fact that he didn't even hear the drone of a helicopter a short while later.

In his fevered sleep, sweating in the humidity, he dreamt he was home. It was early morning and he couldn't wake up. Annie came to him and he felt her take his cock in her hand and then she had him in her mouth. ' Better than an alarm clock, love,' he muttered as she serviced him, her tongue fluttering up and down his length and then sucking hard on him, causing him to cry out with the sheer pleasure. Slowly he felt himself waking up and then his eyes were open and he wasn't home. He was in a shitty room in an Indonesian logging camp but he wasn't imagining everything. A woman was giving him head and it sure as hell wasn't Annie.

With a grunt of shock, Terry tried to take in what was happening to him and made a half-hearted attempt to push the woman away but it was too late. She knew what she was doing and he was already on the edge. As he gritted his teeth and closed his eyes in an effort to stem his rising need to come, she brought him to the brink and he shot into her.

"What the fuck was that?" he shouted. There was little point trying to cover himself up. She was already more familiar with his dick than his doctor.

"I think it's called fellatio, Terrence. Surely not the first time for you?" He was staring into the upturned face of Elizabeth Cheng. She began to stand up, pulling her shirt open to reveal her naked breasts. "My turn, now, I think. I'll give you a while to catch your breath- you can do me a favour while we get you going again."

"Now steady on, Mrs. Cheng. That's enough. Just get dressed and leave. It's a bad idea mixing business and pleasure. Let's keep our relationship purely professional."

"You don't work for me- those rules don't apply.  I don't usually screw the hired help but for you I am prepared to make an exception.  Come on, Terry- I may call you that now we're so well acquainted?- I just swallowed. You owe me one."

"Male rape- technically. I'm not up for this. If you want some- there's a horny Pole next door who'll be more than happy to play hide the sausage with you all night long."

"Don't tell me you are playing the faithful husband- it doesn't suit you!  Little Professor Plum is 8,000 miles away. What's your problem? They give you the equipment without the instructions?" Elizabeth was now completely naked and advancing on the bed.

"Don't play games with me. I'm not interested and I don't have to prove my manhood to you. Get dressed and get out."

"I want you, Terry, and I will have you. Don't fight it- you might learn something."

Terry jumped off the bed and pulled her by the arm, dragging her to the door.

"I've just about had enough of this, darlin'. Get the fuck out of my room," he bellowed at her.

Elizabeth Cheng's face changed and it became a mask of blind fury. "Who the fuck do you think you are? You're a fucking nobody. My husband could buy and sell you- or put a bullet through your brains!"

"I hope you are not threatening me, Mrs. Cheng. I don't scare easily."

She hit him across the face and hissed at him "Nobody turns me down, arsehole," 

"First time for everything, love- now piss off," and he threw her out onto the corridor and her clothes after her.

She kicked the door and hammered on it. "I'll get you for this, you stupid fucking prick." 

Terry rested his head against the door and tried to clear his thoughts. He was sure that this was not the last that he had heard from Mrs Cheng. Had she really flown over here just to root him? What would she do next? Annie. Bound to- she had already been winding her up the last time they had met. He would have to speak to Annie in the morning, try and explain before she got to her. But how exactly was he to tell his wife that Elizabeth Cheng had given him a blow and he had come?

 

 

PART SEVEN

Racing for the phone it stopped ringing just as they picked it up. "Probably just someone selling double glazing!" Annie laughed.

"Could be Terry"

"No he'd call my mobile. He's probably out of range by now. It's in the middle of nowhere- you'd need a satellite phone to get reception, I'll bet. Any way he might not even be there yet- it's a helluva journey into the interior."

Mel and Annie had been shopping and were in high spirits as they emptied their shopping bags all over the normally tidy lounge and began trying their purchases on.

"Retail therapy- I love it!" screamed Mel as she wriggled into a tight little number that she had found half price in a sale.

"Me too- especially when you charge it to your husband's credit card. He never seems to notice- or if he does he doesn't bother. I never realised how useful men could be!" Annie giggled.

"Shut up. You're ruining all my feminist principles. I prefer to be independent and not under the control of any man- but it is hard to convince myself when I think of Terry- not only does he pay your bills but he's gorgeous and hung like a horse. Is there no justice?"

"Stop whinging. You had your chance."

"What should we do tonight? I fancy a pizza and a DVD. Let's watch Desperado again and have an Antonio Banderas fantasy."

"You're on! Haven't had one about him for ages. I'll put the kettle on - fancy a cuppa?"

"No way- open some wine! I want to get pissed."

"I think I'll have the tea. But I'll get you a Chardonnay- there's a couple of bottles in the fridge."

"You can't drink tea and watch Antonio- it just doesn't mix. That's what comes of being married to an Aussie. Terry drinks as much tea as my Grannie- it's so unsexy!!"

Annie busied herself in the kitchen while Mel rummaged through bags searching for a nail varnish she had bought. Suddenly she pulled something from a Boots bag and looked at it. It said ' Clear Blue.' It was a home pregnancy testing kit. "Annie Thorne- you lying toe rag! All that about fancying a cup of tea- you're up the spout, aren't you!"

She carried the tray in and banged it down on the coffee table, snatching the packet from Mel. "That's private. You've no right looking through my stuff."

"Come on, Annie! I knew you when Thorne was just a gleam in your eye."

"Look - it's probably just a false alarm. I packed in the pill when I was away on some sort of whim. I had a period then nothing. But I might have screwed my cycle up. I just wanted to be sure. You're supposed to wait three months before getting pregnant when you come off."

"Terry go three months without sex?  He'd explode! 'Course you're preggers. His sperm are probably Olympic gold medallists -free style. They'd treat any barrier like a military target, bound to take it out."

"This is not a joke, Mel! It's a really serious matter to have a baby."

"I know it is. I'm just trying to cheer you up. How late are you?" Mel asked reading the instructions.

"Not sure- maybe a week or more."

"Says you can do it by then. Go on- wee on it and see."

"Right. I'll do it. But if it doesn't go blue, I'm necking the rest of that bottle and Antonio's mine. OK?"

While Annie repaired to the bathroom, Mel sat on her hands in the lounge willing it to be positive. She really wanted to be an 'aunt' and thought that it would be so perfect for the two of them; 'am I getting rather soppy in my old age', she thought. Carrying the kit in her hands like it was an unexploded bomb, Annie returned and they placed it on the table between them, hardly daring to breathe. Moments passed and then the line in the viewing window turned blue. Mel screamed, arm up as if she had just scored a goal, "Way to go, Terry!" Annie sat staring at it, her eyes wide, "There goes the next twenty-one years!" was all she could say.

Eleven thirty that evening, a bottle of wine, takeaway pizza and several pots of tea later found Mel on all fours licking the TV screen while Annie writhing orgasmically on the settee. The phone rang and Annie picked it up, screaming with laughter.

"Annie?"

"Just coming." Another bout of hysterical laughter.

"Are you pissed?" Terry asked smiling- it was six thirty in the morning in Indonesia.

"No- just satiated."

"What?"

"I forgot-you don't know the effect Desperado has on women, do you? Did I thank you? I will' Annie said in a fake Spanish accent.

"Not Salma Hayek, I take it?"

"No - we blank her out."

"Quentin Tarentino? Steve Buscemi?"

"You like this film as well, don't you! Get real- you know who I mean. Just because you don't have brown eyes, long curly black locks, thick chest hair and a tiny butt..."

"I could have him in a fight."

"I wasn't thinking of struggling."

"Much as I would like to discuss the merits of Latin lovers v Aussie muscle, I'm a bit pushed for time. You alone?"

"No, Mel's staying over. Now she is pissed. Couldn't let her out alone tonight in this state." Mel was mouthing, "Tell him! Tell him!"

Terry rolled his eyes; there was no bloody way he was discussing last night's little fun and games with Mel there. She knew enough intimate details about him as it was.

"Was there something you wanted to say?" Annie interrupted his train of thought.

"No, love. Just to say I've arrived safely. Bit of shit hole here. Just going up to view the damage. Take care. I'll ring you tonight- tomorrow for you. Annie- I love you, you know that, don't you?"

"Terry? What brought that on? Love you too. Miss you. No risks- OK?"

"Course not. Love to Mel. Must go." He hung up.

"Why didn't you tell him!" Mel shouted.

"I don't want to tell him over the phone with you listening. I want to tell him in my own way." Mel mimicked putting her finger down her throat and vomiting. Annie put the phone down with a pensive look on her face. It wasn't like Terry to say something soppy like that on the phone - but it was rather nice that he had.

 

"What was all that noise last night? Who was the woman? Fuck she was half naked on the corridor when I went out." Tomas was full of the sight of Elizabeth Cheng when he met Terry at the jeep.

"Fucking keep that to yourself, mate. The boss's wife- got our wires crossed a bit. Threw her out. Not a very happy lady."

"You fuckin' mad as well as married? She was putting out and you didn't take it?"

Terry shrugged. "Needed my beauty sleep."

"Yeah, I can see that- you look like shit. Get your head down in the back. It will be at least an hour, maybe more, on these roads."

"No worries, mate.  I'm enjoying the view."

They were travelling along narrow jungle tracks with four camp guards behind riding shotgun- no one was taking chances in this place. The jungle was impenetrable on either side of the track and Terry was weighing up what their chances would be if the rebels were still out there; they were like sitting ducks. But the drive passed off peaceably.

Batu Tiga camp was a wreck. Little had been left undisturbed- equipment stolen or trashed, buildings burnt, generator destroyed. They had tried electric fencing but that had never worked- any animal in the night gnawing through a cable usually blew the whole system, so they had given up.  It was obviously an inside job- about the only place not damaged was the main gates. Someone had knocked and they had been let in by their friends inside. It was pointless trying to vet all the loggers- there were no adequate records in an area so deep inside the jungle. Terry planned to recommend withdrawal; there was nothing to be gained by trying to tough this one out. Why should anyone die just to make a few more millions for Cheng? Anyway they were the sole employer in the region- a few months without income would work better to control local raiders- the population would soon use their influence on the rebels if their kids were hungry.

Terry viewed the devastation of the actual logging, a deep gash on the hillside, revealing the red earth beneath, like a bleeding wound. 'Annie would love this, Terry thought, one look and she call the UN- or join the fucking rebels'. But she would be right. This was a dirty business, raping someone else's land.  Cheng had been furious but he'd told him straight. "Can't stop the war, sir- we can only act in a defensive capacity. The attacker always has the advantage." But he hadn't been sure millionaires could understand military logic.

"Boss. Take a look-see." One of the guards indicated the top of a ridge on the perimeter of the site. Terry walked up followed by Tomas. At the top they looked over the jungle below, but saw nothing amiss.

"Nothing here, mate..." Tomas reacted first and gave Terry a hard shove; he felt himself pitching forward over the edge at the same time as he heard the noise of the bullets ripping past him. He fell, trying to roll into a ball as he tumbled, grabbing at trees in a vain attempt to stop the forward plunge, ripping the skin from his palms in the attempt. It seemed an eternity before he hit a large hardwood and came to a halt. Scurrying backwards under the cover of the undergrowth, he looked up. He could not see the ridge- so they couldn't see him- but still he sat back, trying to assess the damage. His head was bleeding badly and he felt dizzy- probably concussed. His entire body ached but there did not seem to be any bones broken. But he felt weak and it was difficult to think clearly.

Then he noticed the blood. Raising his hand to his left shoulder, he felt the sudden rush of thick blood pumping out and glanced down. High powered bullet, a few inches below the shoulder. He couldn't feel anything which meant it was bad- you never feel the bad ones. Tomas? The kind of guy you want standing behind you when the trouble starts. The stupid bastard had taken his bullet and saved his life. But for how long? Those shots had come from behind- their own men. Terry groaned in anger. 'You stupid fucker, Thorne, walked straight into that one! Never saw it coming.'

Forcing himself to his feet, he tried to move forward. Maybe Tomas was down there too- perhaps he needed help. But no sooner was he upright than he felt the waves of dizziness pass over him and his knees buckled. 'Five more minutes, Annie," he gasped as he hit the ground and passed out.

 

 

PART EIGHT

Annie had just closed the door on Mel, when the phone rang- Terry!

She ran back to the lounge and snatched up the receiver. "Terry?"

"No. Elizabeth Cheng here. Good morning. Just a brief message. Mission accomplished. Overrated. Big though. Nice taste. Have a nice day."

Annie stared at the handset. "The bitch!" And then the full horror of it dawned on her. How could he have done it? No wonder he was trying to crawl into her good books with all that 'you know how much I love you crap'. Was that what he normally got up to when he was away? What a little fool she was to think men like him didn't play away when they were on their travels. Sitting down on the floor she put her face in her hands and wept.

Another phone call. "Who is it?"

"Anna- is it a bad time?"

"I'm sorry. Is that Ian? No, I was just... nothing really. No it's not a bad time."

"Good. Just got into the office. Heard Terry's been called away suddenly. We have tickets for Manon Lescaut tonight at the Royal Ballet. Sylvie Guillem is guesting. Are you interested? Thought you might be at a loose end."

"Oh, that's very kind of you." She thought for all of five seconds. " Yes, I would love to come."

"Marvellous. We'll pick you up at 6.30- it starts at 7.30. We usually take supper afterwards. Does that suit?"

"That would be perfect. It's so kind of you to think of me. By the way- dress code?"

"I have a box, so..."

"Posh. Excellent. I feel like posh. I'll meet you in the lobby- thanks again, Ian"

On the tube that morning, Anna thought about the strange turn of events that morning. Elizabeth Cheng and Ian Havery- and guess who hasn't called? - The Bastard. Well she would go out and spend an evening in good company. This was nothing to do with paying Terry back- just a night out with friends. But why did she keep having to justify it to herself?

 

It was raining hard and Terry's eyes flickered open. Water was dripping into his mouth, helping to moisten his parched throat. He couldn't feel anything else:  the rain, the mud, his injuries. Nor could he focus on where he was. Annie was somewhere in his mind but he couldn't quite see her clearly; he just had to sleep. 'Let me go, Annie, I need to sleep,' his eyes closed again.

The aboriginal boys almost tripped over the prone body as they walked past.

"Marilah. Jumpa itu. Orang puteh- sudah mati!" [Come over here. See this. A white man - he's already dead.]

One of the boys crouched down and listened to his chest. "Tidak mati- belum" [Not dead- yet]

Struggling they hoisted him between them and half dragged him back to their kampong, some half an hour's walk away. The manhandling that he received roused Terry from his semi-conscious state; the pain was intense and made him moan but most of what he said was incoherent- and the boys would not have understood him anyway.

Back at their village, they were helped by others to carry him to the longhouse and hand him over to Siti Hasmah. She was the local bomoh. It was rare for a woman to be granted the powers to heal amongst these people but those women who were bomohs were invariably gifted. Siti Hasmah was an exceptional woman and Terry Thorne was a very lucky man.

Laying the man down on a kapok mattress on the floor of the longhouse, Siti called for hot water and scissors and with the help of some girls, they cut off the clothes that were sodden with blood, rain and mud. Then she washed his body, searching for evidence of injury. He was a mass of bruises but she found no broken bones, although his ankle was badly swollen. His hands were skinned and his head bore a large gash and swelling. But the real worry was the gunshot wound. It had passed through but had caused massive damage, especially on exit, shattering his shoulder blade. She did not realise the power of such high velocity bullets but she understood the results. He had already lost a great deal of blood and infection had set in already - it was always speeded up in this humid climate.

First she applied leeches to the wound and let them feed on the rotting flesh; when she was satisfied, she poured in a homemade antiseptic liquid made from snake venom; unbeknownst to Siti this was at the forefront of modern research, still in the experimental stage. All she knew was that it worked. Once that was completed, she packed the wound with moss and bound it with large leaves, wrapping his shoulder in a soft bandage. It was all she could do for now.

Raising his head on her knee, she spooned an infusion into his mouth- something to make him sleep- the rest was necessary for his weakened body. The girls returned with clean clothes to dress him.

Ini baju dan seluar- banyak kechil. [The shirt and trousers are too small for him]

"Sarong saja. Betul" [A sarong only then . It's better]

 

Annie viewed herself in the long mirror in the bedroom. She was pleased with what she saw. This was the first time that she had worn this dress. When she had brought it home and showed it to Terry he had pulled his nose up at it. Thought it made her look too old, too mature. For God's sake- she was nearly thirty! But he preferred her to wear simple, uncluttered lines- didn't like fussy clothes. 'We always do that' she thought,' if they don't like something we don't wear it, even though we like it ourselves. That is so stupid. Can you imagine him thinking about what I thought about his clothes before he got dressed?'

It was a beautiful dress. Dark red- the colour suited her so well- with a fitted bodice in fine clinging jersey, rolled necked with cut away arms. From the waist it fanned out into a stiff shot silk skirt, floor length. With the black Chinese wrap that she had bought in Singapore and the diamond bracelet Terry had bought her in Hong Kong, she knew she looked perfect- and felt like a Hollywood movie star. Annie smiled at her reflection and tilted her jaw defiantly.  Her hair was swept up, it was just about long enough again, and she did look older- more elegant and sophisticated than her normal style. It wasn't just Penelope Pitstop who could look upper class.

At six thirty she was in the lobby downstairs. She had the feeling that Ian Havery and his wife were the kind of couple who would be on time. The headlights of a car shone on the window and she glanced out but it was a Mercedes sports car.

"Anna? Are you ready?"

Ian was at the door and led her to the sports car.

"I thought... your wife?"

"She sends her apologies. Suffers dreadfully from migraines. Really bad one today- she's gone to bed with some painkillers. But she insisted I came- no reason to waste the box! You are all right about this Annie? If you feel uncomfortable on your own with me, then I understand."

Annie did feel uncomfortable but it felt childish to mention it. How unsophisticated she would appear if she pulled out now! Ian was her husband's colleague- it wasn't as if he couldn't be trusted. "Of course I am all right about it. I'm not tied to his apron strings, you know. I have a life of my own. Let's go!"

"By the way, Anna, you look spectacular." She smiled at the unexpected compliment. She realised that she didn't often get them these days.

As they drove off, Ian flipped on the CD- it was an opera recording. "Purcell-Dido and Aeneas- I love this." She enthused. "When I am laid in my grave... it is quite exquisite, so sad."

"Yes. I agree. I suppose you're familiar with the original poem- Virgil, wasn't it?"

"Book IV. The most popular- everyone does it at school but it is still the best. He was amazing. A Roman poet two thousand years ago writing about how men casually mistreat women by their inability to commit or face the consequences. It must have blown the court away when they first heard it. The fight scenes between the two lovers are classic. He is so anal and she so passionate and when he says "Madame, I never said I would marry you.." after shacking up with her for a year and sharing the throne- what a bastard!"

Ian laughed. "Can't say they put it quite like that at my school but I take your point. A great poet tells timeless truths about the human condition. Mars and Venus. Yin and Yang. Two thousand years and we still make the same mistakes."

"Too bloody right, to coin a phrase of a friend of mine."

Ian looked across at her. "That sounded from the heart. Everything OK with you?"

"Ian, I save my confidences for my girlfriends. But suffice it to say, I don't see why my experience should contradict that of the last two thousand years."

They lapsed into silence, listening to the music. Ian wondered what was going on. He knew there was more to Terry Thorne than met the eye but could he really keep this woman happy? Did he even understand how unique she was? Beautiful, brilliant and a free spirit. Was he going to crush her independent mind or just ignore the parts of her he couldn't relate to? She looked thinner than when he had last seen her and paler- what had the bastard done to her?

It was a gala night at the ballet and everyone who was anyone was there. Their box gave a wonderful vantage point over the audience as well as the stage and Annie seemed carried away by everything she saw. Ian observed her as she watched, her evident pleasure showing on her face. There was an innocence about her, despite her sharp wit and tongue. She was unaware of herself and not embarrassed to show her emotions. It was a rare thing amongst the women he met who mostly saw a man as a meal ticket, a status symbol or a quick shag. Somehow he knew Anna would drive a man wild and never even appreciate the effect she was having.

"Ian, that was so wonderful" she turned to him as the curtain finally fell, her eyes shining. "Thank you so much!"

"Still up for supper?" She nodded " Actually I'm starving!"

He took her to a famous Japanese restaurant where he had booked a private room and they ate traditionally at a low table, served by kimono clad Japanese girls. "You take Japanese food?"

"Oh yes- I love Japanese- so does... I mean I really like it." Annie blushed a little. 'Don't mention Terry. Why not? Just don't she thought to herself.

"Wine? Sake? Kirin?" Ian inquired.

"Not for me. Tea will be fine, thanks."

"I thought you liked a drink, Anna."

"I'm... on antibiotics at the moment- better not," she replied. It was easier to lie than say nothing.

After the excellent meal and a warm and lively conversation, Ian drove her back. Annie had enjoyed herself and felt very relaxed, so much better than this morning.

"Always fancied one of these bachelor pads on the river," Ian observed as he walked her to the door. "Didn't have them in my time, I'm afraid. I would have thought you would have moved by now. Doesn't seem quite your type of place, somehow."

"Never thought about it really. Terry's rarely around long enough for us to make a decision. It suits me actually. I'm not much of a housewife and it's easy and secure. Why don't you come up and have a night cap? It's much bigger inside than you might imagine- plenty big enough for the two of us."

Annie had said it before she realised the implications but he seemed to accept without hesitation. "Just a small one then," he decided.

In the large vaulted lounge, he whistled appreciatively. "See what you mean- and the view. You've decorated this beautifully, Anna. I presume most of this is your handiwork?"

"You'd be surprised, Ian. But I did add a bit of colour- it was a bit soul less when I first moved in. Typical minimalist bachelor apartment, that's what I called it. No I didn't, come to think of it. The first thing I called it was 'a typical bachelor shag palace'!"

"Quite!" said Ian raising his eyes slightly.

"Drink? We have most things- even VB if you will!"

"VB?"

"Australian beer."

"Oh, I see. No, Scotch would be fine. Malt?"

"Lagavullin? Neat?'

"Perfect."

Annie poured him a measure and they sat down on the settee. Ian appeared to be quite thoughtful as he shook the glass.  ""Anna, I haven't been completely honest with you. My wife doesn't have a migraine. She's at her mother's in Dorset and has been all week. I didn't think you would come if I told you that before."

His words surprised her but she was touched by his honesty. "I probably wouldn't have accepted if I'd known. But I'm glad I did. I had a wonderful evening and I needed this more than you realise. Thank you for telling me."

"Things a little bad at the moment, Anna? I know that it's none of my business really but... if you need a shoulder." He smiled across at her.

"Actually I think I do!" she replied and he came and joined her, putting his arms about her. For a while she stayed there not knowing what to do next and then he tilted up her face and kissed her. Annie knew she didn't want to- but she didn't care. It was easy to do. So this is what meaningless sex is, is it? She had always thought that she needed to be emotionally involved, unlike other people, but perhaps not. Ian Havery did nothing for her and yet she could let him kiss her and even respond a little. When his hand moved down to fondle her breasts she also let him, aware that she didn't want to but again not caring. It would be so easy to let this happen, here in his home, even in his bed. And then the voice of reason screamed in her head 'Are you insane?' and she pushed him gently away.

"I'm so sorry, Ian. I can't do this. It's not your fault. It's me. You're a really nice man and I am flattered but if I did this it would be to hurt him and that is not fair on you. Also he would kill you if he found out."

Ian smiled ruefully. "I think he's wanted to do that for years, Anna. I understand. I don't think he deserves you but I respect your decision. And if ever you need a shoulder- you know where I am."

He took his leave and Annie breathed a sigh of relief. 'You lucky bastard, Thorne! You'll never know just how close I came!'

 

 

PART NINE

Dino rang Mel's flat early the next morning. A man answered groggy with sleep.

"Can I speak to Mel?"

"She's asleep."

"Do you think you can wake her up, friend?" There was a long pause, during which Dino feared the phone might be hung up but eventually:

"Who the fuck is this? It's 6.30 on a Saturday morning for God's sake."

"Listen, darlin', it's Dino. How long will it take you to get to Annie's?"

"Can't you fucking' work out time differences yet? Why do you want me to go to Annie's?" But the words weren't out of her mouth before she knew. "Oh my God, what's happened?"

"How long?"

"An hour maybe."

"Then I'll call at 8 am on the dot. Be there."

Mel rang the doorbell at 7.59. Annie was already up, looking pale and nauseous- no doubt morning sickness. "What are you doing here at this hour?" But the ringing of the telephone delayed the need for an answer. Mel watched Annie walk over to pick it up and seemed to see it all in slow motion. She wished that she could shout 'Stop!' and make it all go away.

"Hi, Annie Thorne. Dino? How's tricks?" She listened and then said:' "Yeah, Mel's here- how did you know... Oh God, Dino, no, tell me it's not bad news..." She let the receiver drop from her hands as if she had been burnt. Mel rushed to pick it up.

"Put her back on, Mel" Dino snapped. Mel pressed conference call so that Annie could hear him.

"Annie. Terry has gone missing in Indonesia. It may be nothing but I'm going over there to see what I can do. Nobody knows what's going on. Seems he went to an outlying camp with some guards and a colleague and nobody has come back yet. They've found his jeep but no sign of Terry. Try not to worry. Terry is very familiar with the terrain- he was doing jungle training in SE Asia with the Australian army when you were still in pigtails. He can cope."

"Why is he in the jungle? Why didn't he return to the jeep? I don't understand. What about the colleague?"

There was a silence on the line. "Dino, TELL ME!"

"Tomas is dead. They found his body at the perimeter fence. Multiple bullet wounds. But Terry wasn't there. That means he got out. He's somewhere out there. I'll bring him back, honey; I'll find him for you. I have to go- my plane..." The line went dead.

Annie slithered on to the floor, her legs giving way under her. Mel sat down by her and held her in her arms. "What will I do if anything happens to him? I was so angry with him and now I don't give a shit about what he did. I just want to know where he is. Oh God. Last night. I nearly slept with someone else! While he was lost- God knows where- I was being pawed by another man."

"What are you talking about, Annie? Why were you angry with Terry?  And who were you with last night?"

Annie filled her friend in with the story of the phone call from Elizabeth Cheng and her date with Ian Havery.

"Annie- have you asked Terry about this woman? I don't believe it. I know I haven't always trusted him in the past but it's different now. The guy loves you so much- I just don't see it. You can't take that bitch's word for it without giving him a chance to defend himself."

"I don't care about her. I just can't believe how I behaved."

"You didn't do anything.  It was only a kiss, sweetie! Just don't ever tell him, Annie. Somehow I don't think he'll quite see it as I do."

"Tell him? I may never see him again. I can't sit here waiting. I'm going to do something."

Running into the office, she found the number in Singapore. The phone rang for a while and then a female voice.

"Elizabeth Cheng."

"I want to speak to your husband."

"Who is this?"

"The fucking tooth fairy." She hung up. Annie rang a second line. This time it was a man.

"Mr. Cheng? I am Mrs. Thorne..."

"I am so sorry Mrs. Thorne, we are doing everything we can..."

"Cut the crap. I want a chartered private jet waiting for me by lunchtime. I'm coming over. I will be there when they find my husband."

"But he may be..."

"Then I will still be there."

 

Siti had watched him all day. She had sent boys to run to the field force office but it was long way away and the rain made things difficult. He had lost too much blood and needed a transfusion. Already he had exhausted her medicine and seemed to be sinking fast, lost in some half world raving and tossing on the kapok mat, drenched in sweat. When she had washed him she had seen the ring on his left hand and when she had searched him for identification she had found the picture of his beautiful wife in his wallet. Such a shame. He was a youngish man with his life before him and this should not be happening to him. If only she could give him a few more hours then help might be here.

This man had been shot by her people and she was ashamed. There were people still out looking for him- and some of them were not his friends. Her culture was one of hospitality and friendship to strangers- how could she allow some foolish people to destroy all they held dear? It felt like it was up to her to save this man and prove what her people were truly capable of. He was not guilty like the rich industrialists and politicians were- he had just been doing a job and was caught in the crossfire.

Although Siti had no more native medicine, there were other things she knew. Gathering together the things she needed, she built a small fire on a tin plate on the floor near the bed. She used aromatic woods and mosses and she wafted the smoke and fragrance over to his direction, tossing some blocks of kemunyan wrapped in yellow cloth on to the flames. Kneeling at the far side of the fire, she felt herself pulled down inside her body as the trance took over her. She would leave it to her spirit guide now- but would it work for an unbeliever?

 

Annie lay back on the plush leather seating of the Jetstream, uninterested in its luxury. She could hardly bear the long hours alone with her thoughts. What would she find when she reached Singapore? Cheng had insisted she wait there. When Terry was found they would fly him straight back there; there was no point in her being in Jakarta.

She knew that every hour that he was missing made it less likely that he was alive. By now a man of his experience in extreme survival techniques would have reached safety if he were uninjured. However if he were lying injured somewhere in virgin jungle- how long does it take to bleed to death?

Shaking the images from her head, she lurched from her seat and went to the toilet, retching and throwing up in the bowl for the umpteenth time. Was it the results of pregnancy or despair that was preventing her from holding any food in her stomach? Probably some combination of both. When Ben had died she had been the same and she hadn't been pregnant then. Don't think of Ben. This is not the same. Lightning cannot strike twice. But Annie had a feeling that it could. In Bali he had suddenly opened up to her in a way that was unusual for him; his feelings were so deep and rarely vocalised. Had some premonition of disaster stirred him to speak? She herself had suddenly done a volte-face on the question of having a baby- why had she had the impression that she had to take her chance before it was too late? Perhaps it was the hand of fate- that she should lose him as well and that she was to bear his child, a child he would never see?

'I don't believe in stuff like that. I am not superstitious or a believer in fate. I am an intelligent woman. He is a highly skilled professional who can deal with this situation. But it wasn't working; Annie was overwhelmed by some notion that she was ultimately responsible for this - a bringer of bad luck to men, like some siren from a Greek legend.

Returning to her seat, there was a sudden jolt of turbulence and she stumbled and fell on to her knees. In that position she recognised something that she had never done for years- not even when she had been lying on that boat. Then she had relied on Terry to save her. Now there was only one resort left to her. On her knees, she joined her hands and bent her head in prayer. 'Please God, don't let him die! He doesn't deserve to die without seeing his child. And I need him. Look after him for me!' It was the natural recourse of guilt-ridden ex-convent school girls and somehow Annie felt that here, 30,000 feet above the world, God might be able to hear her better.

 

Deep inside his head Terry was wandering in the dark, trying to follow a light that was fading. He knew that it would be so good to just sink down and rest and, as he did so, a feeling of peace washed over him. A smell disturbed him, acrid and strong, making him cough. At the same time he began to hear a voice. It was a man's voice, one he didn't recognise, nor could he understand the words but the voice was saying something over and over again until it hurt his head. 'Let me go!' he wanted to shout but no sound came from his mouth. All at once he felt a powerful force dragging him backwards and, struggle as he might, he could not fight it; it was spinning him to a painful place somewhere far above him.

Suddenly he saw where he was. He was lying on the floor and looking into a fire whose smoke was blowing into his face, obscuring his vision and making him feel sick. Through the smoke he could see a woman kneeling, hands joined, speaking quietly. He knew who it was; it was Annie. Trying to raise his hand he called her name and she looked at him:  'Don't die! Stay with me! Terry - the baby, you have to live for the baby.'

Siti raised her head and looked at the Mat Salleh as he shouted. Pulling herself painfully from her trance, she staggered over to his side, weakened by her exertions. He was sleeping again but this time his breathing was steadier and his heart beat more regular. 'What had he seen and heard?' she wondered. But it didn't matter now. Some spirit had guided him back and he now had a few more hours. Help should be there by then.

 

 

PART TEN

Watching the sunset from the window of her hotel room high above the city, Annie stared at the sight of people hurrying home from work to their normal home lives as she counted the seconds to some nightmare which was still to unfold. There was a knock on the door but she ignored it; Cheng had sent people over all day to bring her things or keep her company but she had sent them all away; they didn't know her or Terry and she didn't want their false sympathy.

The knock sounded louder. "Annie. It's me. Dino" She ran to the door and opened it, throwing herself into his arms. He steadied himself and guided her inside the room, sitting her down on a chair and kneeling in front of her. She burst into tears, the first tears she had shed so far. Dino let her weep, holding her head against his chest as she sobbed, stroking her hair and whispering to her. Eventually her tears subsided and she began to try to talk, sniffing and wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. He searched for some tissues and mopped her up as if she were a little child, holding her nose so she could blow. It made her smile.

"I can do this myself!" she insisted.

"Let me play the white knight for once, honey. You feeling better, now?"

Annie nodded. "I just saw you and it all kind of burst in side of me. It's the first time I've cried. The tension is getting to me, I suppose."

"I couldn't believe it when they told me you were here already! Private jet- clever girl! Wish I had thought of that- my journey was a nightmare. Look, have you eaten? You can't just sit in here all day and night looking at the four walls. We'll have dinner in the restaurant downstairs"

She shook her head "I can't eat a thing. I keep throwing up."

"Then you need to eat. What would Terry do?  If he had a problem, he'd eat to keep his strength up."

"He'd eat anyway, problem or not, but then he hasn't got morning sickness all day long." 

Dino sat back and frowned slightly. "Honey, does that mean you're..." Annie nodded again and began to cry quietly again. "Oh, baby," he said taking her in his arms again. They stayed like that for a while; for once he did not know what to say. "We should still eat. Come on, take a shower, change your clothes. We'll go down to the restaurant. It is even more important to look after yourself now. Terry has to look after himself; you have to protect his baby for him. I'm not giving you a choice, sweetheart. You go and shower or I'm doing it for you!"

Reluctantly Annie agreed and half an hour later, they were ordering steak and salad in the hotel restaurant. Dino was amazed at the speed Annie cleared her plate and then ordered dessert and a sweet fruit juice concoction; it would have made him throw up.

"You certainly managed to put a hole in that, Annie!"

"I was starving. That's how I am at the moment. I'll probably honk up my guts later but I guess some of it stays down!" She certainly seemed brighter; the food had done her good. "Dino, I need to talk. There's things bottled up in side of me. I need to sound you out. I know men don't talk, I mean about emotional things but I've no one else. Do you mind?"

"Fire away, baby. And we do talk sometimes. It takes a lot but we do open up sometimes." He smiled at her and stroked her hand.

"You care a lot about him, don't you? He cares about you. He doesn't say it but I know he loves you. You must have shared a lot in the past." Her eyes were shining as she spoke and she was biting on her lip.

"Yeah, we go back a long way and have seen some bad shit together. There've been times when we've talked and...I love him. He's the bravest man I've ever met and the truest friend. He's saved my life a few times and I don't just mean out in the field. But he needs a kick up the arse regularly from me- he can be a morose son-of-a-bitch, you know? At least you've cured him of that. Annie- do you know how good you've been for him? Before you sometimes I thought he had a death wish or somethin'. He was taking jobs that no one else would touch; there was no talking to him. But now, he's a different guy. Finally laid those ghosts, I guess."

Annie listened thoughtfully. "Do you know Elizabeth Cheng?" Dino pulled a wry face. " Terry mentioned her to you?" He nodded. "What did he say?"

"Nothin' I want to repeat to you, honey." He saw Annie's face fall and he added  "No, I mean, not what you think. He was just a little bit crude- unrepeatable in female company."

"Did you know that he slept with her?"

"Terry? No way. He wouldn't touch her with an asbestos suit on. That's the point, honey. He thought she was bad news- poison. And he would never... Annie, I've been with Terry when he's been like a rampant bull but I have never known him to cheat- even when the bitches were cheatin' on him behind his back in his own bed. Betray you? Never in a million years, honey, believe me."

"That's what Mel said. God, can everyone else see more clearly than me? "

"You're too close. Bound to feel insecure at times."

"That makes it worse. I did something terrible and I can't forgive myself."

"Honey, you don't have to tell me private things. You may regret this later..."

"I have to tell you. I nearly slept with someone else. Elizabeth Cheng said she'd had him and I just freaked out."

"Nearly slept with someone? You either did or you didn't - there's a big difference."

"Well, I let him kiss me and, you know, fool around a bit..."Dino snorted.  "This is not funny, Dino."

"Sorry, honey but you sound like a kid at her first dance. You kiss me- a kiss is no big deal. That's all you did- forget it."

"It was Ian Havery."

"Fuck! Terry will rip his balls off and then ram them down his throat. I can just imagine him saying 'kiss on these, mate!' or something to that effect!"

Annie grinned despite herself at the image- it was exactly what he would do! "So what do you think of me now. No better than all the other bitches who let him down over the years, am I?"

"It was nothing- just a sleazeball taking advantage of you. Forget it. Don't tell Terry though- he will really lose it with Havery. Hates the bastard anyway- this will push him over the edge."

"We are talking as if he's coming back."

"He is - trust me! They can't get rid of Thorne so easily; he's stronger than ten men."

"Dino - do you believe that I could be a jinx? I have this feeling that it's all my fault. Every man I love- you know like a curse."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Terry's been walking the line since you were in diapers. If he's used up his nine, honey, it is nothing to do with you. I won't hear this nonsense; it's not helping you- and it's not helping me either."

They walked back to her room and Dino said goodnight. As he turned to walk away, Annie called him back. "Dino, don't leave me alone. I can't sleep alone. Stay here with me."

Dino joined his hands and pointed them at her. "And have him rip my balls off too?"

They laughed. "No, I mean it. Just to have someone there. I don't think I'll close my eyes if I'm alone.'

"Neither will I, honey. Come on- I'll toss you for the bed!"

Annie wouldn't hear of it. She changed into her baggy PJs and an old washed out T- shirt that nearly dwarfed her (no doubt Terry's) in the bathroom and slipped into bed. He lay next to her on the bed until she fell asleep and then stripped down to his underwear and joined her. It seemed right somehow and he knew, wherever Terry was, he would want him with her tonight.

 

Early the next morning, some girls bought a basin of warm water to Siti and she shaved the man. He would be going soon; the local penghulu had received word that a helicopter was due any time. Siti did not wish him to look uncared for- she also wished to see his face. When she had finished, she sat back and surveyed her work. It was as she thought- a fine strong face. ' Orang cantik!' she thought. [Beautiful man!]Easing down the sarong she washed his body carefully, amused by the natural reaction her ministrations had on his manhood. ' Cukup darah? Baiklah!" [Enough blood- good sign!]

Once finished she changed his bandage and saw that the wound was clean and then with the help of the girls, she recovered him with a clean sarong and he was ready to leave. Sitting back on her heels, she realised that he was watching her. The sight of his clear light eyes surprised her; they added a depth to his face that entranced her.

"Mata mata biru hijau!" she gasped. [Blue green eyes!]

The man spoke in a language she did not understand.

"Saya tidak cekap Bahasa Ingerris." [I can't speak English]

His beautiful eyes flickered recognition. Somewhere in his mind he remembered long ago and a lovely Malay girl who had called her young Australian soldier ' Mata biru' [ blue eyes].

"Siapa dia?" he muttered. [Who are you?]

"Nama saya Siti." [My name is  Siti.]

"Saya Terry. Terimah Kasih, Siti." [I'm Terry. Thank you.]

 

Early the next morning the phone rang in Annie's room. Dino was awake immediately, somewhat embarrassed to find himself lying with his arms around Annie who was curled up against him. He eased himself away and answered.

Dressing quickly he returned to the bed and gently shook Annie awake. She rubbed her eyes groggily and began to sit up. Dino thought he had never seen anything more lovely in the morning and he watched her with open appreciation. How did Terry ever leave the house?

"Annie? That was Cheng's people. They found Terry. He's on his way. Baby, he's alive but in bad shape. But he is alive."

 

Two hours later, they were on the roof of the Specialists' hospital when the helicopter landed. A team of emergency staff rushed forward with a gurney and the man inside was quickly transferred. Dino and Annie hung back, not wishing to interfere with the work of the doctors and nurses. Terry looked grey- personally Dino thought he had seen better looking corpses- but he squeezed Annie's hand and tried to give the impression that everything was fine. She seemed stunned by the sight of him and said nothing. As he was rushed past them, already attached to blood and IV s, Annie noticed something strange. He had no stubble; in four days, he would normally have had a beard already because it grew so fast- she had realised that in Australia, the first time he had 'gone fallow,' as he called it. Someone had shaved him. It made her feel good to know that wherever he had been, someone had cared for him and treated him with respect.

For hours they waited while he was in theatre, pacing up and down, trying to convince themselves that the longer he was there, the better it was; he was holding out. Annie drank endless cups of coffee and nibbled biscuits, which she then threw up- but the trips to the toilet gave her something to do to try and erase the mind numbing agony of waiting.

Finally a doctor emerged and called them into an office. Annie felt her knees buckle but she dug her fingernails into her palms and willed herself to follow. She would hear the news whatever it might be.

"He has a suffered massive blood loss and his injury is very serious. The bullet has smashed his left shoulder blade and he will need extensive surgery later. But that is immaterial now. Mrs. Thorne, your husband is extremely lucky. The bomoh who found him was very skilled - most of them are charlatans but now and again one comes upon a true visionary. She has saved his life. He should have been dead before we got to him; it is quite a miracle really. If he continues to maintain this stability over the next twenty four hours, he will make it."

Dino caught Annie as her legs gave way under her.

 

 

PART ELEVEN

Three weeks later, just after midday, Annie breezed into the hospital room, her arms full of bags.

"Where've you been?"

"Good afternoon, Mr. Sweetness and Light. Do I detect a grumpy tone? Surely you are not bored?" Terry grunted. " Well if you insist on playing cowboys and Indians at your age- what can you expect? If you must know I have had a great morning. First I had a wonderful breakfast at the hotel- they have the most amazing buffet spread and then I went shopping and then I had a swim- the pool's perfect and a leisurely shower and here I am? What you been up to?"

"Piss off. I hope there's something in those bags for me."

"What like food, you mean? No chance. You are on a controlled diet. If I give you anything you know you'll vomit- and that hurts. Anyway Sr. Chan would fucking kill me. She hardly tolerates me as it i She seems to think I have been put on earth just to get under her feet. Frightens me to death."

"Frightens you. She scares the shit out of me." Terry replied.

"Well at least she gets you moving- you wouldn't like suppositories on top of bed pans and bed baths would you?"

"Very funny. Any way I've no pride left now. They can do what they like. Do you know what it's like when they descend on me every morning to wash me? It's like a swarm of locusts and I'm lying there stark bollock naked while they throw me about. Jesus, I feel like a piece of meat."

"The old Terry Thorne would have loved attention like that from a pack of Asian girls! I can see you're not fully recovered yet."

"Annie- get me cigarettes"

"Not a chance. You'd cough your guts up. It would probably open your stitches. Grow up,Terry- be a man. It will only be a couple of months!! Actually I have brought you something.Old Iron Drawers says I can show you these now- we had strict instructions in the early days not to over excite you. But, as there's a chance you might be allowed out of bed tomorrow if you are very good and eat your slop up without having a tantrum, I am going to let you read these." Annie threw down a handful of newspapers, International Editions, all a few weeks old. "You even made front page of the Guardian- look...

 

'... Thorne, 37, an Australian national, is an ex-SAS officer who was decorated for bravery under fire in Northern Ireland. He has worked as a senior hostage negotiator for Luthan Risk for eight years. He is now director of one of Luthan's parent companies- LT Security. Experts in this field say that Thorne is a shadowy figure with a reputation for unconventional approaches but is widely respected as one of the most effective negotiators in the Ransom Trade. It is believed that his expertise in extreme survival enabled him to survive the ordeal....'

 

"Shadowy? Unconventional makes you sound like the Milk Tray man." 

"Who the fuck gave them my picture?" 

"Luthan, I expect- from the files. There's even been a fax from LA- someone wants to make a film of it."

"Tell them to fuck off. Well that's my cover blown- I'm not going to be 'shadowy' any more, am I?"

"Good. Now you'll have to stay put. 

Terry continued to read the various articles, swearing profanely at the accounts. Annie giggled at his discomfort- she knew he would absolutely hate the notoriety.

"There are loads of email here- all your lot at home and even old army buddies- didn't know you had so many friends. I think a few are old girlfriends too - unless Sandra, Charlotte and Sharon are code names for big bad SAS men. Oh, and Alice rang. Don't look at me like that. I was very civil. In fact you could almost call me friendly. She had heard on CNN and got in touch with Dino and he put her on to me- for which I will brain him when I next see him. She was very concerned and I filled her in. She didn't know we were married so I told her..." At that Terry gave her a questioning glance 'I'll bet she did' he thought to himself... and she sends her belated congratulations. She was nicer than I expected, Terry, I think you should call her when you feel better."

He waded through all the papers and mails, rather surprised at some of the people who had taken the trouble to get in touch. Suddenly Annie pulled something else out of a bag. "I risked my life to bring this in here. If she finds out- don't grass on me." It was a can of Tiger beer, still cold.

"You little beauty! he said.

At that moment the door opened and in sailed Sr. Chan, nemesis of Intensive care. Annie dropped the can into the bedclothes and pulled a newspaper over it. It was lunchtime and a young orderly was following sister with a bowl of rice porridge.

"Perhaps you would like to make yourself useful and feed Mr. Thorne? ( she pronounced it 'Torn') We can't let him feed himself because, despite the fact that he has one good hand, he will not eat his food unless watched. Maybe you could also persuade him of the importance of following the advice we give him. This food is nutritious and easy for him to digest in his present condition."

"Baby food." Terry muttered.

"Yes, Indeed, Mr Torn. But then you are acting like one at the moment." Sr. Chan could not be bested.

Annie picked up the bowl from the tray and stirred it. It was a watery rice gruel flavoured with white fish and ginger. Ginger. As soon as the smell hit her nostrils, Annie knew that she was going to throw up. Shoving the bowl into Terry's right hand, she dashed for the bathroom, her hand on her mouth and threw up noisily in the bowl. Sister Chan ran after her and immediately launched into a tirade.

"Have you come in here with a stomach bug? Have you any idea what would happen to your husband if he caught an infection now. How can you be so irresponsible?"

Shutting the door with her foot, Annie revealed to the woman the real reason for her sudden bout of nausea. The dragon lady broke into smiles; it was a scary sight.

"Does he know?" Annie shook her head. "You warned against too much excitement and I thought I would wait until he was discharged. He has enough on his mind at the moment without worrying about me and the baby."

"I disagree. He's well enough now and, to be quite frank, becoming a complete nuisance. He really is a most uncooperative patient.  He doesn't like not being in control and is not helping himself most of the time. This news might give him something else to think about other than feeling sorry for himself. Tell him now and then you can celebrate by giving him half a glass of that beer you smuggled in. Half only- mind you- and after he's eaten his porridge!" She grinned and opened the door.

Terry observed them a questioning look on his face but said nothing as Sr. Chan took over and spooned the rice gruel into him. He pulled a face but did as he was told. When he had finished, she withdrew, winking at Annie before she closed the door.

"What was all that about? Are you feeling crook?" Terry asked.

She removed all the newspapers from the bed and made a space for herself to lie down. He moved slightly to accommodate her but she could see how he winced as he did- he was still in acute pain. Lying on his right side, she stroked his hair, tracing the line of the gash on his forehead which was now healing cleanly; another scar to add to the growing list, she thought with a sigh.

"Before you left, I suspected something. When you were away, it was confirmed. I thought I would never be able to have this moment, Terry. I thought I would never be able to tell you... She broke down in tears. All the days when she had sat by his bedside talking to him as he was under deep sedation, she had held back from crying; she hadn't wanted him to hear anything but positive encouragement, even if she was not sure he could understand. Now something broke inside her and she sobbed until she was exhausted; he just held her and stroked her gently until the storm inside her calmed.

"When I was in that longhouse, something happened that I can't understand. It's a vivid memory- the only thing that is clear. I think I was dying, Annie. I don't know how I know that but I think that's how it must feel- a sort of peaceful feeling. The light was fading fast and then I heard this man shouting at me. It was annoying me because he wouldn't let me go and then I was ripped away and I woke up. There was a fire and smoke- it made me cough- and then through the smoke, I saw you. You were kneeling with your hands joined but I heard what you said. It saved me, Annie. I'm sure it did."

"What did I say?"

"You said I had to stay alive for you and ...the baby. Is that what you are trying to tell me?"

"How could you know? How could you have heard me? I was on the plane and I prayed on my knees- how could you know that?"

"Then you are pregnant?" Annie nodded; she sat up, took his right hand and placed it on her belly. "Our baby."

"How? When?"

"Bali, I think. Threw the pills away one night. Don't know why. Just realised how much I loved you and it seemed the right thing all of a sudden. And it is the right thing. There's no point in all this passion unless we make some thing of it- without a child it's just sex and what we have is more than that, isn't it? Sometimes it feel like something sublime, bigger than both of us- like our child will be. A chance to get things right."

Terry breathed deeply and seemed to be having difficulty controlling his emotions. He looked up and blinked rapidly a few times and then began to speak, his voice very  husky and low and hard to hear: " Once someone said to me... No- once Alice said to me- that things don't happen for a reason, they just happen. I agreed with her. Nothing in my life had ever made sense and she seemed to have nailed it. There is no God- just shit happening. We were wrong. Things do happen for a reason- you just don't always know what that reason is. Things happened to bring us here now. I had to lose Penny and Harry to learn to be a husband and father. I had to meet Alice to show me that I needed to let someone into my life or I was lost."

"Does that mean Ben had to die. That's really had to take, Terry..." He shrugged.

"I don't know, love, but I know this. There's a guardian angel looking after us and he seems the only likely candidate who'd care enough. Am I completely insane?"

A tear ran down his cheek and Annie kissed it away." When you were lost, I thought we were cursed. Nothing but disaster seemed to follow me. But you're right. I should have seen it the other way round. There is something out there guiding us to each other - why do we give it so little help?"

For a while they lay there wrapped up in their own thoughts. Moments ticked by until Annie wondered whether he had fallen asleep again- the events of the morning must have tired him out. But suddenly:

"I knew from the beginning. The day I picked up my phone. You stayed in my mind and I kept wondering who you reminded me of. I came back to see Mel but I wonder if I really hoped to see you? Then the bar, meeting you like that. Mel ringing out of the blue..."

"Mel ringing?"

"You don't think I turned up at the Uni all on my own did you? Slightly out of character for me, wouldn't you say? Major ruck with a girl I know slightly and then I suddenly seek her out? Still don't know why I did it. But I watched you give that lecture to those brain dead kids and I fell in love with you there and then. You were the sweetest thing I had ever seen.'

Annie rolled over and gasped, inadvertently jolting him and making him cry out. " Sorry, baby, did I hurt you. What did you say? Why did you never say this before?"

He gave her that pleading look that always threw her. "That's me, isn't it? Never say what I mean. Too bloody controlled. But I think it, Annie, I feel it inside. More than most. I suppose my feelings embarrass me. Spent my whole life trying to hide them as if they were a dirty secret."

"Well, your secret's out now, mate. Cover blown completely. Now I think it is time to celebrate. Wet the baby's head." She rummaged around in the covers to find the can of beer.

"Don't think I'm quite up to that yet. Wetting the baby's head, I mean..." he said with a suggestive smile.

"I don't mean that kind of celebration, you dirty bastard." She poured him half a glass of beer. "Sr. Chan said only half- yes, she spotted it when she came in. but she has a sense of humour after all!"

Terry took the glass and drank it gratefully and then wrestled the can from her hand.

"Wouldn't like that to go to waste. Especially as you can't drink alcohol..." and he started on the rest before she had time to object.

Annie sat back and laughed and let him have his way. The worst it could do was knock him out- but she reckoned, even in his condition, it would take more than one tinnie to put him under.

"Tomorrow, bring me some pants. If I'm getting up, I'm not wearing this fucking tablecloth. He indicated the sarong that was standard issue in the Singaporean hospital.

"Now, now. I've explained already. It's easy access. How are you ever going to start looking after yourself if you've got to handle zips and buttons with one hand? Here, let me show you just how easy it is to get it out..." Annie threw back the covers and unrolled the folded top of the sarong, pulling it down. " There and then you just take it like this and ....She held his cock and began to slowly jerk it in her hand, pulling the skin back and forth. Terry groaned and lay back on the pillows, breathing deeply. " and then if you are very flexible, you do this..." and she bent her head and licked him slowly, caressing his heavy sack in her hand.

Lost in their own world, they did not hear the door open. Sr. Chan saw Mr. Thorne leaning back, his eyes closed, breathing heavily and groaning. For an instant she thought he had had a seizure then she noticed his wife kneeling by his side, her head hidden by the rolled back blankets. Backing out and closing the door quietly, she called a student nurse to her.

"Put a sign on the door. No one is to disturb Mr. Thorne until I say so. He is undergoing a delicate procedure at the moment and needs complete privacy." The nurse scurried off to attend to her instructions. Sr. Chan laughed to herself. 'Looks like Mr. Torn is getting up earlier than we expected!'

 

 

PART TWELVE

Dino had stayed with Annie for the first few days until Terry had recovered consciousness and he knew they were both better alone. He had things to do. First he wanted to find out what had actually been going on in Indonesia because something about the whole business did not ring true. Terry had been shot in the back and the 'guards' had disappeared. Were they in with the rebels- possibly- but why shoot Terry and Andreas? They were recommending pulling out, which is what the rebels wanted. Something was wrong and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

He arrived at the hospital a few weeks later to find Terry out of bed and sitting in a chair, his arm strapped up but looking great; thinner, paler than usual but great if you compared him to the grey wreck he had been when they had brought him in. Annie was playing cards with him and obviously losing and arguing about the stake; by the sound of it, they were not playing for money- Terry was stacking up sexual forfeits for when he got out.

"Hi, girls and boys! Annie- he's cheating. It is not a fair game. You don't have to settle up with a cheat." Annie snorted. Terry grinned, very pleased with himself, " She can't wait to pay this debt, mate..."

"Shut up, Terry. Dino- it's great to see you. Take my hand and bleed him dry for me. But play for money. You wouldn't fancy what he's got in mind!

"Where've you been, mate? Missed your ugly face."

"Here and there. I've been doing a bit of asking around. Called in a few markers. Cheng should be here soon. He's got something to tell you."

A few minutes later, Mr. Paul Cheng arrived, looking sombre. After polite inquiries about Terry's progress, he launched into his real reason for being there.

"Mrs. Thorne. I need to speak with your husband. Perhaps you would like to wait outside with Mr. Lapenti?

Annie glanced from Cheng to Dino and then to Terry. "No. I'm not the little wife, Mr. Cheng who had to be kept out of things. I'm staying."

"I have to discuss things of a personal nature with your husband. I think it would be better if you were not to hear them. Wouldn't you say so, Mr. Lapenti?" Dino was leaning against the wall and he shrugged. Turning his eyes to Annie, he opened his hands in a gesture that suggested 'why not?'

"Maybe you ought to go out for a while, love..." Terry suddenly seemed to have realised something. He appeared a little uncomfortable.

"NO! Maybe I'm way off base but has this got something to do with Elizabeth? She called me in England you know before I knew of Terry's disappearance. It wasn't pleasant. Am I on the right track?"

Terry exhaled sharply and rubbed his eyes. Cheng nodded his head "As you wish, but it is your decision. Your husband has been very foolish and had contributed in some way to the awful accident that he has had. Since first working for me, he has been conducting an affair with my wife, behind both our backs. Elizabeth is a fragile woman and easily disturbed. Mr. Thorne encouraged her to join him in the camp but when she arrived he was with a local woman and humiliated her. She was so devastated that she lost her wits and ... she paid the guards to teach him a lesson. It was an appalling mistake but your husband's behaviour was unconscionable- if I had known I'd have had some of my men work him over but not this. But you must understand how she felt."

"Perfectly understandable, mate. Can't get a fuck so you kill two men. Sexual frustration- get you off in any court, no problem. Throw in PMT and your home and dry." Terry seemed flippant but to those who knew him well, there was a cold fury in his eyes.

"That's a load of bullshit, Mr. Cheng and I think you know it. I don't know what went exactly- frankly I'm not interested- but he never fucked your wife. She told me herself when she rang. I remember her words exactly. She said he was overrated. Now you can say lots of things about my husband but I can assure you, overrated is not one of them." Annie faced Cheng up, her face burning. Dino and Terry looked at each other and grinned.

"Your loyalty to your husband is commendable, if misplaced. I leave it to your conscience, Mr. Thorne. My wife had had a breakdown and is being attended in a private sanatorium in Australia. There will be no repercussions. Don't even try to take this to any authorities. If you try to make trouble for my wife, or me, I can assure you, you will be sorry. This is my territory and my men never miss. Do I make myself clear? A substantial amount of money has been deposited into your Cayman Island account and I will make similar restitution to the parents of Mr. Krasjinski. That should conclude our business. Of course, the contract is terminated and the account settled. Mr. Lapenti will fill you in on the details. Good day." And he was gone.

Dino broke the silence first: "Some piece of work, hey? Well, I'll leave you two to talk things out. I'll see you later at the hotel and Annie- way to go!" He bowed and left.

Terry and Annie looked at each other for a minute. He was biting on his lip and seemed uncomfortable.

"I tried to tell you that morning but Mel was there and I couldn't. She turned up and..." Annie put her finger on his lip.

"I meant it. I don't want to know and I don't care. We don't have to know everything. I trust you. Let that be enough. I don't want to talk or think about that woman ever again. Deal?"

"Annie, I'm finished with this lifestyle. Bumping around the world, letting the job rule me. When I get back- even if I get this fucking shoulder to work again- I'm strictly Mr. Regular. No Boys Scouts, Nine to five. No more risk taking, I promise."

Annie laughed. " I'm not sure that's what I really want, mate. I married the Milk Tray Man- you know the guy in the advert who used to jump out of planes or climb mountains or swim shark infested waters to bring his girl a box of chocolates- I'm not sure I want to live with Mr. Regular. You are still allowed to take a few risks- just not any heart stopping ones in future, please!"

 

 

EPILOGUE

Terry leaned back on the car bonnet and watched her as she left the University building and strolled across campus to the car park. She looked younger than ever, despite her highly visible pregnancy. Dressed in a baggy pair of green cargo pants, worn slung below her belly, topped by a white T-shirt that seemed a few sizes too small, one of his plaid shirts and an enormous black bubble coat, she looked like a school girl who had got herself into trouble. His heart leapt at the sight of her.

As Annie noticed him, she quickened her pace. "Hi, Mister- gotta light?" she teased.

"Who dressed you up?" he laughed.

"What's wrong with this? It's called the urban commando maternity chic look. Thought you'd appreciate it with your military background. It's all the fashion these days. Not that you'd know anything about fashion."

"But your clothes don't fit, Annie. You look like a brickie with a beer belly. Don't you feel cold?"

"No. I keep overheating- I need some air-con. If I keep on growing much more I won't be able to fit any of my clothes. I'll be in your pants soon."

"You can get in my pants any day," he grinned.

"I meant on my own, you sex maniac. I can assure you there is not room for two at the moment. I'm hungry. Can we eat before we go?"

Annie never stopped eating these days. They called at the Senior Common Room and she loaded up at the self-service. "Annie, do you really need two pieces of chocolate cake?"

"Absolutely- just get me a milk shake as well, will you? Look- I'm eating for two. Leave me alone -you're not the sodding doctor."

"Two? You could feed about ten on what you put away."

"I'm carrying a Thorne- what do you expect!" She began to tuck into the strange array of foodstuffs that she had selected; he just ate a sandwich.  When he had finished, he took two pieces of A4 out of his pocket and passed them across the table. With his shoulder still strapped up after the recent surgery, it was difficult to unfold them. Annie peered at them curiously and read.

They were both specs from an estate agent. One was for a new five bed-roomed luxury detached home in Richmond of the river. It was state of the art- you could just walk in. The other was an old vicarage in a Berkshire village standing in its own grounds, about half an acre. Reading between the lines, it needed massive renovation 'would suit those with an interest in restoration...' Both had extremely expensive price tags.

"What's all this?" Annie said with bemused look.

"I've had time to think, stuck at home these weeks. Our place isn't suitable for kids. Look at that open staircase. My mother reckoned I was gate vaulting out of my cot before I could walk- what kind of temptation is that staircase going to present to a Thorne?"

"You mean, move to one of these? But they cost a fortune. Can we afford something like that?"

"'Course we can. Anyway Cheng's little settlement will more than pay for that and the renovations. Sticks in my craw but I fucking earned that money, might as well spend it on us. So which do you fancy?"

Annie weighed them both up and tore up the Richmond executive home. "Can you see us in Nice Town? We'd stick out like sore thumbs. Now this one- Dolly would never forgive us if we didn't but this. She would so love to be parked in that driveway- and that wisteria around the doorway! No contest, Terry. But what do you know about DIY?"

"Not a fucking thing. Did some painting and decorating for my mother once. Can't be that difficult! I can operate sophisticated weaponry- how hard is a Black and Decker?"

"Warning bells. I'm not letting you near my new house. Professionals only, if you don't mind! It would be like you going active with my Mum as back up- no way! When can we see it?"

"Made an appointment this afternoon- I knew which one you'd go for. We can stop on the way to Harry's school."

Reaching the car, Annie fished around for the keys, while Terry fumed. He hated to be driven -especially by Annie and she could never find the keys.

"Stop that. I hate it when you look like that. You've only got one arm. I have to drive. If you don't like it get one of those invalid cars. And don't start saying 'Change gear' or 'Can't you go any faster' because it just makes me worse. Close your eyes and go to sleep.

He muttered something about being able to drive better than she could with one hand and his eyes closed but she ignored him and drove off, purposely grinding the gears to annoy him.

 

Later that day, after falling in love with the house despite the fact that it would need almost rebuilding- they would have to live in one room at first- they reached Harry's school. It was another first for both of them. For Terry- the first Parents' Evening he had ever attended; for Annie the first meeting with Penny since the rugby match almost two years ago. They had studiously avoided each other since, although they had spoken on the phone.

Harry met them at the door and dragged them of to meet the Headmaster, a creature straight out of another time zone. "Jesus, it's Mr. Chips," Annie whispered, "is this place stuck in a time warp or is it that academy Harry Potter goes to?"

"Behave, Annie." Terry warned.

The headmaster was delighted to see Mr. Thorne, kept calling him old chap. Terry set his face in that inscrutable expression of his and endured the inevitable references to his Indonesian adventure; the boys had been fascinated, great to have a war hero as one of the fathers, good for the boys- in the old days many of the boys had fathers who had fought in the war etc., Annie could feel Terry grinding his teeth; he hated anyone to know anything about his career- he had spent too long with  Highly Confidential stamped across his life to cope with such open acknowledgement.

At one point the headmaster seemed to notice Annie. "Are you the new Mrs. Thorne?"

Annie was tempted to say "No, just some other woman he's got in the club." But Terry had already squeezed her hand to encourage a more polite response. She smiled sweetly.

"Have you thought of putting the baby's name down - we are always over subscribed and many parents get the name down as soon as they know their child is a boy."

Annie opened her mouth to say "Not over my dead body..." but Terry pre-empted and said: " It's a possibility, sir, but it might be a girl..." and glared at her. As they made their way into the Hall, she whispered, "Fucking mental this place..."

"I'm warning you..."

"What are you going to do? Slap me? Now that will ruin your rep as the school's greatest living war hero!" He growled at her, promising to get her later. Annie rolled her eyes and licked her lips.

They went from one master to the next, hearing nothing but good reports; Annie could see that Terry was so proud of his son.  Eventually they met with Penny and the rest of the family in the Dining room for refreshments. Penny gave Annie a ruthless scrutiny, her eyes raking her up and down. Annie had changed from her sloppy Uni-wear but was still hardly matching the elegant dress of her husband's former wife. Although Annie was dressed soberly in a brown wool trouser suit, it had not been designed for pregnancy and her trousers rested below her bump and the skimpy peach jumper that she was wearing again left a ridge of bare flesh.

She greeted Terry with a kiss and asked him what he thought of Harry's progress.

"Fantastic. You've done a great job, Penny. He's a model kid. He certainly doesn't get it from me. When I was his age, if I turned up at school they'd usually sack me for something I did the last time I was there!" They all laughed and then Harry and his father struck up a conversation with Michael and Penny turned to Annie.

"Does Terry need to up your dress allowance, my dear?" indicating the too-small jumper.

"I earn my own money, Pen. I don't need keeping. Any way it's the new look. Called Knocked up and Proud of it. I think it suits me!" Annie retorted.

"Quite. Look can we bury the hatchet for a moment?" Suddenly the glacial expression disappeared. "Is he all right? I was so devastated when it happened- he's had another op hasn't he? Did it go well?"

"He's fine. Just bored as hell and can't wait to get that sling off his arm permanently. It's just to support his shoulder, he doesn't wear it all the time. The op went well- they put a plate in- he'll probably set all the alarms off at the airport in future. They have put him on an intensive physiotherapy course and he is working at that. Plenty of swimming and he's beginning to work out again- but it's very controlled as yet. Keeps him out of mischief anyway."

"He looks great. Younger than he has for years. I suppose we have you to thank for that. He's very happy- you are good for him, Annie. I know you think I'm a cow but... I still care you know. It wasn't all bad times, I still have fond memories."

Annie looked at her feet, a little overcome at the sudden confidence. "I know you must care. You were his wife. You have a place in his life. I love Harry and I will never come between him and his father and that means there's room for you too. You made a child together; that's a very special relationship."

She smiled, a sad look in her eyes as she looked over at her former husband. "Sometimes I regret that I didn't have the courage to hang in a little longer. He was such a handful, you know- I think even you would have found him hard work then. I wanted him partly because I wanted to escape from my father's control but when we were married I found that he was a little too hard for me to control. But he was young and by the time we divorced, I could see he was already beginning to change but I just didn't have the guts. I wanted safe, respectable, middle class, to be like my friends, married to men of our world - he was never going to be that. Now- well safe, respectable middle class doesn't seem quite so desirable. Take care of him. He's a very special man."

"I don't expect we will ever be bosom friends, Pen, but you're right. It's time we started to act like grown ups. And I will look after him. I know what I have."

The two women smiled and Terry caught the look that passed between them. It puzzled him and he was not sure he quite liked it. He was used to Penny and Annie treating each other with open hostility- that he could handle. But  friendly conversation between his ex-wife and wife, now that was scary and what the shit were they laughing at? He'd never understand women.

 

To Part Six

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