PART ONE

A summer afternoon, late June and one of those heat wave days that are rare enough in England to encourage everyone to drop everything and pretend to be Australian for the day i.e. have a barbie. The men as usual were supervising the cooking although more notice was being taken of the cold box of beer than the meat grilling on the barbecue; one of them was regaling the others with a story which required them to drop their voices before roaring with laughter; a young man about sixteen was blushing at whatever the punch line had been.

Across the patio, beyond the French windows, which led into the large kitchen, four women were preparing salads and drinking chilled Chardonnay. They were also deep in conversation and if the men could have heard it they might have been surprised to find that some of it was as raunchy as theirs. One of the women was breastfeeding a baby; she was slender and dark wearing a tiny floral skirt and a skimpy top, her slim legs resting on the legs of a stool as she lay back and stroked the head of the child.

"Sex? What's that? Last time we tried it I actually fell asleep half way through!"

"I don't believe it! What did Terry say?"

"How do I know? - I was asleep. But I doubt if it was pleasant. Don't know what he did- either gave up or got on with it anyway!  Babies- world's best contraception." They all burst out laughing. "Even if we do manage to stay awake, she has a radar for it. No sooner does he get to an interesting bit than she wakes up and by the time I've settled her down he's either asleep or watching the football."

"You should let her cry a bit. I read that too much attention spoils them."

"Mel, what you know about babies could be written on the back of a 10p coin. Anyway he wouldn't have it. She has him wrapped around his little finger already- I never get a look in when she's awake."

"Are you using anything?"  Caroline, a neighbour queried. "That's how I got pregnant with Clarissa. I was breastfeeding Oliver and thought I'd be OK- like you, it happened so rarely I hadn't thought about going back to the clinic- anyway they don't recommend the pill when you're breastfeeding. Next thing I know I'm pregnant again. Never even had a period so I didn't know I'd started ovulating."

"Jesus. Never thought of that. Just as well I'm celibate then but I better get him to

buy some Johnnies in case. His old supply will be past their sell-by-date by now! That's all I need- Super Sperm hits the jackpot again. Thanks for the tip off!"

"Ladies, can I freshen your drinks?" Dino breezed into the kitchen to replenish the beer cans.

"No need, we may be mere helpless women but we can open a bottle of wine without male assistance. Anyway, piss off. Girl talk- wouldn't like to embarrass you." Annie grinned. He exited, arms full of cans and a lingering glance at Mel.

"Right, Hamilton. I want all the details. Seeing as you have more sex than the lot of us put together, I think you ought to be charitable and fill us in to remind us what it's like. So tell us!"

"About what?"

"Two trips to New York in two months and Dino's over here for no apparent reason..."

"He's here for the AGM."

"Crap. Terry can do that. I've been trying to get something out of Terry but he just laughs and says 'How would I know?'- So come clean."

"I don't kiss and tell!"

"Since when? You told me the exact diameter of Terry's dick within about ten hours of meeting him!"

"WHAT?" the other two women screamed so loud that the men all turned to look.

"Shut up! They'll hear. I forgot you don't know how I met Terry, do you? No, I've said enough. We'll save that for a girl's night out some time! Mel- Come on! If you're not saying it must be lurve."

Mel burst out laughing. "I don't do love, darling. Too complicated and ultimately leads to babies and falling asleep instead of shagging. But I am having a good time and I suppose you could say I'm dating."

"Does he know about you and Terry?"

"I think so, but he's never actually asked. Bit weird for him, I suppose."

"Doubt it. I've a feeling those two have shared more than a few beers in the past!" Annie added with a knowing smirk.

"This is too annoying, Annie. You cannot keep giving these asides about my little brother without filling me in. So I take it he went out with Mel first?"

"'Went out' would be an exaggeration. 'Went in' would be more exact. Couldn't even call it a one night stand really- I don't think it lasted that long!"

"But three times in one session is almost a long term relationship for me!" exclaimed Mel.

"I don't think I'm very comfortable with this conversation, Maggie. Terry would blow his top if he thought I was telling his big sister about his past career as a serial shagger."

"Annie- I knew him when he was seventeen. You have no idea how many irate fathers came knocking on our door. It's a wonder he could walk straight at times!"

"Tucker's up, girls. If you want some you better move quick before the boys clear the lot!" Phil, Maggie's husband called them and they moved out to the large wooden garden table with the salads and bread. Annie lifted Zoe into her bassinette and pulled a few more bottles of Chardonnay out of the fridge, reminding herself to go easy and drink some water otherwise she'd be feeding her daughter pure alcohol soon.

She stood at the doors watching the party settle down to eat; Mel and Dino already deep in conversation, Maggie and Phil chatting with their nephew, Harry, and Caroline and Ed, the neighbours trying to encourage their toddlers to eat something. Terry was serving platters of meat with a flourish and she found herself staring at him, her giddy high spirits of a few moments ago suddenly disappearing. He looked so appealing and she wished everyone would just vanish and she could be alone with him for a while on this beautiful day. By the time they had some peace and quiet today, she knew she would be absolutely knackered and he would probably have drunk too much.

As if he had heard her, he walked into the kitchen at that moment. "Wondered where you'd got to. Everything all right?"

Annie nodded. "Here take the wine. I'll bring Zoe out. She can sleep in the shade."

Terry came over and took the wine off her, putting it down on the counter and putting his hands to her face, stroking her cheek ."You're a bit quiet, Annie. What's up, love?"

"Nothing, she sighed, " Just... we never get time to ourselves these days. I'd just like to... I don't know...just chill out with you for once."

He bent down and kissed her lightly on the lips. She felt that familiar sensation of falling which his tenderness always triggered off in her and it made her ache all the more. 

"Can't have everything, love. Got all this. One of these days, Zoe will leave us alone and we'll make love all night. Promise. Soon. Come on- they're thirsty!"

Annie put a CD on and carried the baby outside. Everyone was eating, drinking and the atmosphere was just as it should be - friends and family on a hot summer day.

Listening to the lyrics of a song playing, Annie felt that she had been unfair. Life was good and she wouldn't want to miss times like these. She and Terry had all the time in the world.

PART TWO

"Hi, sorry I'm late. What's for dinner?"

"Indian."

"Great, where is it?"

"At the takeaway- could you give them a ring?"

"Shit, Annie. I'm sick of takeaway food. What have you been doing all day?"

Annie was lying reading in the lounge. It was nine thirty and she had only just come down from upstairs where she had spent the last three hours carrying a colicky baby round until she had finally dropped to sleep. "What? Do you think I just sit around all day reading? You should try it sometime!"

"I'd love a day at home, mate. I've been out since six thirty this morning - the least you could do is knock something up for me. Just a sandwich or something."

"You forgotten where the kitchen is?"

Terry swore and went into the kitchen. The fridge was full of baby food and little else edible. He pulled out a can of beer and ripped the ring-pull, snatching up the phone and calling the local takeaway- the number was so much in use these days it was probably their Best Friend Number on BT. "You want something?"

"Whatever."

"What's that supposed to mean? Do you or don't you?"

"Get me anything. I'm too tired to care."

He raised his eyes and ordered. She was in one of those moods; in fact, she was always in one of those moods these days.  Pulling off his tie and jacket, he flicked through the mail still lying unopened on the kitchen table among the debris of baby paraphernalia and unwashed breakfast things. 'What the fuck does she do all day?' he thought, throwing utensils into the dishwasher and trying to clear a place to eat.

"Sorry about the kitchen. The water was off for ages. They are still on that fucking bathroom. I am so sick of workmen coming in and out of here - they never seem to finish one thing before they start something else. It's driving me round the bend. And I couldn't even go out to the supermarket because I was waiting for them to deliver that chair that had to be changed and then they didn't come and rang to say it would be another week..."

"Give it a rest, Annie. I'm tired and hungry. I think I'll have a shower- give me a shout when the food arrives." Terry walked out and left her in the kitchen. Annie finished the clearing up and sat at the table head in her hands. 'Why does it always end up like this?'

The doorbell rang and she went to answer it; she couldn't find her purse and when she did she had no money and had to search through his jacket until she found his wallet. Running back to the door, the delivery boy looking annoyed at the waste of time, she dropped the wallet and its contents spilled out. The boy bent down to help her pick things up and with embarrassment handed her a condom along with other money and cards. Annie paid him and stuffed all the things back, vaguely wondering why Terry was still carrying condoms- perhaps just an old one.

"That the food?" Terry came down, his hair damp and tousled, dressed only in shorts. Annie felt like reaching out and touching him but he breezed past her and headed for the food. She sat down and took a small helping but she had little appetite. Before she had finished, Zoe woke up and started crying.

"I'll take over when I've finished," he said.

Annie threw her fork down and went upstairs. Her daughter was wet and angry so she changed her and took her into their room so that she could feed her lying down on the bed. Half an hour later, Terry came up and found the two fast asleep; Annie curled round her daughter and the baby still nuzzling in her sleep on her mother's nipple. Gently easing her away, he picked up the little girl and carried her back to her cot, whispering to her. "You been a naughty girl for your Mummy again? Have a heart, love- she always takes it out on your Dad!" That was about all he got to see of his little girl these days. 'God, she's growing fast,' he smiled as he covered her over.

Back in the bedroom, he looked at Annie. She was far too thin- she rarely ate anything these days other than mouthfuls of pureed baby food when she was feeding Zoe. He must have a word with her about that. Pulling off her baggy sweat pants, he eased the sheet from under her and covered her too. Sighing to himself, he undressed, used the bathroom and slipped in beside her but, although tired, he was wakeful. Lying back on his arms, watching the curtains blow in the slight breeze of the open window, he thought of how it used to be. Annie had been the most sensual woman he had ever known and now she seemed to be completely unaware of his presence. He wished he could wake her up and love her- she had so loved that in the past- to make love when half asleep. Now she would probably knee him in the groin if he tried it on.

He rolled towards her and stroked her beneath the sheet, running his hand along her thigh and under her T-shirt. Annie murmured and pushed his hand away. He turned back and tried to sleep but he was already aroused and knew he wouldn't settle in this mood. Getting up, he went into the bathroom and took another shower, masturbating with one hand, his other propping himself up against the wall. 'Jesus- I can't stand much more of this," he thought.

PART THREE

Terry was in his office at Luthan when Dino came over on the video-conference.

"Got something for you, Terry. It means a trip, though- can you manage it?"

"Annie will fucking kill me, Dino. She keeps going on about needing a break- she will really love it if I go off and leave her on her own."

"Man, I need you to do this for me. I promised Mel, I'd join her in LA. She's there on business for a week. Come on, man, bail me out. I've covered for you enough."

"It's me who needs to work on my sex life, not you. Do you know how long it is since I got any?"

"Terry- you decided to have a baby- don't blame me! Please - I never even cried once when you were taking downtime with Annie- not to mention sick leave and maternity leave and all that shit. Give me a break!"

"What is it?" Terry groaned. She would raise hell about this but on the other hand a short break might do them both some good- particularly if they were apart.

"New associate- first job- needs a bit of support."

"Nursemaid? Get someone else, mate."

"No- it's an important case and she needs backup."

"She?"

"Yes, my chauvinist friend. We have a female associate."

"Fuck. So we have to hold her hand every time she goes out? Who's great idea was that?"

"She's something else, Terry- credentials are top line. Better qualified than any of us."

"So's Annie but she'd never make a negotiator."

"I mean it. She's an ex- navy Seal. Qualified pilot, black belt in every martial art I've ever heard of and then some, Masters in Criminal Psychology, special field - psychological profiling- this lady can look after herself."

"So what you need me for, then? And why did she leave the navy if she's so fucking hot?"

"Why did you leave the army? Wants to make some money, I guess. She can do the job but you know she'll need a support at first. Here's the deal. Three US airmen taken by rebels when they wandered into Maragua while on a NATO exercise; CIA and embassy handling it - they want some expert advice but they'll do the rough stuff. Piece of cake, Terry. Why not take Annie for the ride? She can spend a few weeks by a pool somewhere and might even be in a mood for it by the time you get home in the evening."

"Nice thinking - but how can we take a four month old baby to that shit hole? Annie would be scared that the baby would get malaria or something."

"Wouldn't her mother have Zoe?"

"Annie's still feeding her- anyway she'd never leave her. All right, I'm in. What's the woman's name?"

"Christianne Walberg. Likes to be called Chris- one of the boys, you know the type. There's a flight tomorrow morning- she's on her way already. Staying at The Marriott. Will fax you the dossier. Cheers, mate- I owe you one."

"Make sure you give Mel one for me, mate- I could do with it!" Terry replied with a rueful grin as he signed off.

'Sounds like some lady,' Terry smiled to himself. 'Probably got more facial hair than I have.'

As Terry had suspected, Annie was not pleased at the news. In fact she didn't speak to him for most of the evening after her initial outburst. He let her stew; she would just have to accept it. He hadn't made a trip in months; it had been bound to happen eventually.

The next morning, Annie was feeding Zoe some sloppy cereal in the kitchen and Terry was in a hurry. "Annie can you iron me a few shirts?  Do you ever fucking iron anything these days? My entire wardrobe seems to be in that basket."

"I'm feeding the baby. Iron it yourself. How did you manage before you had me to keep house for you?"

"Mrs O' Dowd- and she costs me less than you, love."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Annie, I'm in a real rush. If you just do one, I'll get the rest done at the hotel, come on, don't play the raw prawn, eh?"

"Give it here. Where are you staying?"

"Marriott. I'll leave the number."

"God, I'd give anything to get out of this place. Do you know this week I've only been to the supermarket, the park and the fucking child clinic. You get first class and the Marriott. Some deal, hey? My social life's so naff there's no point even combing my hair or changing my clothes."

"That explains it then."

"Explains what?"

"You looking a mess all the time. Christ, Annie- have you looked at yourself in the mirror recently?

"You total shit. What time have I got for myself?"

He rubbed his hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have said that, Annie, I'm sorry. Why don't you go and see your Mum and Dad for a couple of days? They'd love to see the baby and it would give you a chance to get out, buy yourself some new clothes, have your hair done, whatever."

"They're on holiday. Went to Italy. Everyone's either away or working. Mel's in LA, you know?

"Yeah, with you-know-who. That's the only reason I'm going. The Americas is his baby these days."

"Lucky them. Looks like that's really turning into something, doesn't it? Who would have thought it?  Do you think they could make a go of it?"

"Mel and Dino? Get married? Suppose he deserves it- he can't be happy all his life."

"What?"

"Just a joke, love."

"Pardon me if I'm not laughing. So, I look like shit and you're sorry you got married- is that what I'm supposed to make of all this?"

"Don't be so fucking sensitive."

"Sensitive? Well no one could ever accuse you of that, could they?"

"Annie- is it any wonder I'm on a short fuse these days? It would be hard to call this a marriage at the moment. I feel more like a lodger in this house." Terry was losing his temper now and Zoe was staring at him from her baby chair.

"Maybe that's because you treat it like a hotel."

"Some fucking hotel- no restaurant, no housekeeping, and certainly no fucking room service," he roared. Zoe started to cry, shocked by the noise.

"Here's your shirt. Now piss off and stop shouting at me- you're upsetting the baby."

Annie picked up Zoe and ran upstairs to the nursery, locking the door and bursting into tears. He raced up the stairs and tried to open the door.

"Open the door, Annie! Look- the taxi will be here in a minute. I can't leave like this. Open the door!" He slammed his fist against the wood.

"Go on, break it down, why don't you?"

"Annie, please! I'm sorry. Open the door."

"Go away. I don't want to speak to you."

Just then a workman who was laying a wood floor in the library, came to the bottom of the stairs. "Mr. Thorne?"

"Fuck off!"

"Hey, steady on, mate. I'm only telling you your taxi's here. Bloody Australians, load of uncouth yobs," he muttered in a loud whisper.

Terry thumped the door again in frustration but said nothing. Zipping the carry on and checking he had his passport and wallet, he snatched up his laptop and left. Annie watched from the window as he wrenched open the car door and threw himself inside. She squeezed Zoe tight as the taxi drove away, tears rolling down her cheeks. 'Terry, what is happening to us?'

PART FOUR

"Good afternoon- Mr. Thorne, is it? Welcome to the Marriott. How long will you be staying?"

"Week or two- I'll let you know when I have a better idea."

The reception clerk handed him his room card and a message. " This was waiting for you. Enjoy your stay, sir!" Terry smiled politely and opened the message.

'Mr. Thorne,

I'm in room 303- give me a bell when you arrive. Things are hotting up and I need to fill you in.

Chris Walberg'

"Can I use the phone?" Terry inquired of the girl at reception. She passed it over and he rang the room number.

"Hi, Chris here." Nice voice, California.

"Terry Thorne. Just got your message. I'm checking in. We're on the same floor - room 325. Give me half an hour to get a shower and changed and I'll call round. You can get me up to speed then."

"You don't waste much time. Sure you're up for it- it's a helluva flight from London."

"I slept. One of my talents- I can sleep standing up."

"Lucky you. See you soon then." 

Just over half an hour later, Chris answered the door. She recognised Terry Thorne from the picture she had seen on his online dossier but had not been quite prepared for the full effect in the flesh. She had spent all her career in the company of men and he was another military guy - she had expected to find him good looking but a fit soldier rarely turned her head anymore. However he was something else. Must be because he was Australian- he didn't have that pretty boy, oiled, muscled look of GI s but a rawer more manly attraction- wow, she was going to have to keep her mind on the job with him.

They shook hands and she led him to the desk in her room where she had various documents spread out. For the next two hours they perused and discussed the material in front of them; both impressed by the professionalism and acuity of the other. Terry had been a little fazed by Ms. Walberg at first sight although he had managed to bluff it out; but she was not what he had expected. Sure, she had that boyish way of talking, bit like Jodie Foster, but she was no testosterone-loaded dyke. Christianne Walberg was all woman.

She was as tall as he was and had a rangy athletic build, broad shoulders and long legs but she didn't look like a man. Her hair was short and blonde and she had a striking Nordic look, golden skin and ice blue eyes. A quick glance showed that she had full breasts and a slender waist under the tight vest top she was wearing and her khaki pants hugged her in all the right places. How had this girl been allowed near the Navy? It's a wonder the boys could get their pants on with her around.

But his initial distraction was soon put aside as they applied themselves to the case. Chris was no novice; she had already worked out an approach, which seemed more than adequate and had had a preliminary meeting with some of the CIA operatives with whom they would be working.

"They don't like the sound of you at all. You know what they are like- suspicious of anyone who isn't American. They thought Mr. Lapenti was coming."

"Something came up. I'm the stand in. CIA are always a pack of goons. Leave them to me. I'll have them eating out of my hand- trust me, love. Christ, I'm hungry- let's get some dinner."

"I can't go like this. I'll meet you in the restaurant in half an hour."

Chris stopped at the door of the hotel restaurant and scanned the diners. She saw Terry sitting at the bar, drinking beer and smoking, chatting to a bartender.  He looked good - beige linen suit, blue shirt, open at the collar. As she made her way past the tables, he glanced up and recognised her- and she noticed the look he gave her. The dress was a smart idea- he looked like the kind of guy who liked his women to look like women. His women? What was she thinking of? He was married and she had only met him five minutes ago. Steady on girl- he is strictly for your fantasies.

'Is that you in there, Chris?' he almost whistled when he saw her striding through the restaurant. She was wearing a simple short dress in a pale pink, which showed off her golden tan and long, long legs. He wasn't the only one who noticed her- heads were turning as she passed tables. Terry smiled to himself when he saw the envious looks other men threw in his direction when she joined him 'My date' he smirked and then stopped himself. Date? Jesus, where did that come from? This was dinner with a colleague- no different from Dino. 'Exactly who am I kidding?' he thought to himself.

"Drink?"

"Mmm. Margarita, I think." He ordered it and another beer for himself.

"Smoke?" Chris shook her head. "Fitness freak, eh?"

 She smiled. " 'fraid so. Got to be tougher than the boys."

"How did you get into the Navy? Not an obvious career choice for a girl."

"Navy family. I'm the only girl with a house of brothers. Kinda grew up like them - didn't get the hang of all the girlie stuff!"

Terry laughed. "Well, you seem to have got the hang of it now! You look great. Must have wound those sailors up a bit!"

"Thanks- but winding up sailors is not difficult- they'd jump anything after a few weeks at sea! Kept us girls under a tight wrap on active- no fraternising or you'd be out. We all got pretty good at biting the bedpost!" They laughed.

"No ties? Didn't find yourself a nice sailor boy?"

Chris smiled ruefully. "Are you checking me out, Mr. Thorne?"

"Just nosey, love. Like to make sure my staff have their minds on the job. Better footloose and fancy free. This job fucks up your personal life."

"You seem to manage. Dino says you're married and have a baby."

"I'm the exception. And I didn't say it was easy."

"How's your wife feel about you jetting round the world?" Terry grimaced. 

"Bad as that, huh?"

"Worse. It's a bit difficult with a small baby and a house like a building site. Can't say I blame her- but what can I do?"

"How long have you two been together?"

"Two and half years, something like that- got married after a year."

"Still newlyweds then!"

"Hardly, mate. Not enough sex to qualify!" Terry emptied his glass. "Ready to eat?"

At the table, having ordered, they chatted about this and that and both kept off the topic of private lives. Terry thought he had been too open but perhaps she would just treat it as a joke. It was a pleasant meal and he liked this woman; she was good company and he could already see that she knew her job. He was going to enjoy the assignment.

Later in his room, he checked the time and called UK. The phone rang for a long time and he imagined Annie trying to ignore it while she dealt with the baby. Eventually it was picked up.

"Annie, it's me. Can you talk?"

"Sure. Listen, Terry, I'm so sorry about what I said. I couldn't believe I let you go like that. I've been beating myself up over it since you left. Honey, I miss you. We've got to sort stuff out. It's me, I know. I'm like a lunatic at the moment. I've been to the doctor and he's given me some pills to make me eat- he says that I need to improve my diet especially as I am breastfeeding. Says that I'm depressed too- could be connected or just hormones...."

"Annie. Slow down. It's not just you. I'm not much help. You need more support and the things I said were out of line. You know what I'm like when I lose it, love. Don't mean half the things I say. But I'm glad you're sorting the eating out. You're too thin and you must look after yourself properly. I got used to you with that fat belly- time you had more meat on your bones!"

"God, it's good to hear your voice! How is it out there? Who's this new guy? Any use?"

"Er, yeah. Chris. He's shaping up well."

"Terry, Zoe's crying. I'll have to go. Call me tomorrow- and take care. I love you."

Terry hung up and lit a cigarette. Standing by the window, he thought about home and the fact that he had just lied to Annie. 'Better to let her think she's a bloke' Terry mused, ' he'll really blow if she thinks I'm here with Miss Universe.' But he wasn't entirely happy with himself. She would find out eventually and this would make it seem worse.

Chris sat up in bed in the dark, leaning on the headboard. She wished that she smoked. Terry had made more impression on her than she had realised at the time. Staring at the ceiling she wondered what it was about him that was making her feel like this. He was just a guy. Good looking- hell, yes but not the best looking guy she'd ever spent an evening with. Good body- but she'd spent five years with some of the fittest men in the States. Amusing, witty, charming, intelligent-yes, but it wasn't any of those individual parts. More the whole package. Something indescribably male about him - pure sexuality.  Not that he had been obvious about it- very much the opposite. Just unconsciously putting out some masculine vibe - must be his pheromones; like the leader of the pack in the animal kingdom or something. And if his throwaway comment was anything to go by he wasn't getting enough- Christ, what was wrong with his wife?

She put the light on and booted up her laptop, logging on to the company website and selecting T. Thorne, Director (UK). 'Time to do a little research,' she thought.

PART FIVE

Standing in the queue in Marks and Spencer, waiting to pay for a basket of baby clothes, Annie bumped into Penelope. She shouldn't have been surprised- every one shopped at Marks and this was the Oxford branch. Harry was trailing behind her looking bored; it was school holidays. It was Harry who pointed out Annie to his mother and he darted over to see his step sister- he was incredibly proud of her.

"Hello, Annie. How are you?  And this is little Zoe, is it? I've been looking forward to meeting her." Penny peeped into the pushchair and was greeted by a beaming smile from Zoe. 'Trust the little monkey to be in a good mood now', Annie thought, 'I'd prefer it if she bawled her eyes out'.

"What a little sweetie. She's like you, isn't she? Good job really- I don't think a girl would really thank him for those shoulders? Mind you she has Terry's eyes and his smile too. Just like Harry. Terry must be over the moon with her; he always wanted a daughter."

Annie handed over her credit card to pay and left Harry carrying his little sister and Penelope making 'goo-goo' noises at her. "Fancy a coffee, Annie?" Penelope asked much to Annie's surprise. But as this was the first adult conversation that she had had in two days, she decided to give it a go. With a large cappuccino and a sticky Danish, they found a table and sat down, for all the world like the other girlfriends gathered at the tables in the cafe.

"We're off to Tuscany next week- we've taken a farmhouse there for a month. Harry desperately needs summer clothes- he's grown at least six inches since last year! He hates shopping, though- but I have to bring him with me to try things on." Harry sat sheepishly, playing with Zoe and trying to ignore his mother. " Are you planning a holiday?"

"No, not really. I'd love to but Terry's away and I'm not sure when he'll be back. Anyway, we're not tied to school holidays so we can go later on in the year. Not sure where to go though- it won't be easy with such a small baby."

"Nonsense! She's easier now than she will be in a few years! Why not Australia? His family would love to see her."

"His sister's in Europe at the moment doing the grand tour. I can't stand the thought of the flight with Zoe. Somewhere nearer to home would be better. Not too hot. Maybe France, I don't know. Haven't talked about it. There's so much renovation work to do on the house that I'm not sure we can leave it at the moment."

"You need a break, Annie. I'll tell him when I next talk to him. I know how insensitive he can be. I hope he's pulling his weight this time."

"Yes. He's great- when he's here - but you know how it is."

I certainly do. Put your foot down. Don't let him have his head- he'll bulldoze you along if you do, especially if you're feeling a bit fragile." Annie smiled but didn't volunteer a reply. However much she wanted to talk, she didn't intend to dish any dirt with Penelope; Terry certainly did not deserve that!

Harry handed Zoe back to Annie and seemed to want to say something. Suddenly he plucked up the courage: "Annie, can I come round and see you some day this week? I could get the train. I'd like to see more of Zoe and well... you too. I'm a bit at a loose end after my exams and before we go away."

"Anytime, Harry- you know that. I'm free most days- I hardly go anywhere and I would be delighted to have some intelligent conversation. Just give me a call!"

The meeting at the US Embassy had been productive but there was a clear antagonism towards Terry coming from the two CIA operatives. Several times they disagreed with suggestions he made and at one point just merely laughed at something that he said. Chris observed that Terry said nothing, just smiled quietly and looked down; she was trying to figure out was his real reaction would be. She couldn't believe that he would back off - nothing in the dossier she had read last night would have suggested a reluctance to confront.

Their main objection seemed that he should be included in the actual radio communication or be party to the high level discussions of what concessions the government might be prepared to make to get their boys back. At a juncture in the talks, Terry suddenly stood up and indicated to the two men that he would like a private word with them. The three left the room. Chris was curious as to what he was up to and excused herself saying she'd take the opportunity to use the bathroom. Outside in the corridor, Terry was speaking low to the two men, smiling, but something about his body language made Chris feel he was about to make a move.

"Got a problem with me, mate?"

"Yeah. You might be able to round up a few kangaroos but we don't need no fucking sheepshearers here, boy"

"No- see your point. Two many fucking cowboys already." Before he had finished speaking, Terry grabbed hold of the nearest man's groin and twisted. The other guy made a move but Terry warned him " You want me to sever these?" and the friend took a step back.

"Now let's get something clear, boys. I've been in this game since you were wanking behind the school toilets and I don't intend to take any shit. I'm in charge- you're the muscle- OK? But I can be the muscle too if you upset me- and remember us Aussie blokes can break iron girders with our dicks, if the fancy takes us. So- get back in there- shut the fuck up and you might learn something useful."  He relinquished the man's testicles and smiled sweetly.

"I'd take the hint, boys, if I were you. Try looking up Mr. Thorne's dossier. It makes interesting reading." Chris broke in and the men scowled but did not reply.

"My dossier?"

"Yeah- looked it up last night. Something about unconventional approaches - didn't mention testicles though. And is that true about Aussies?"

"Only some of us, love," he replied with a grin.

"Where's Dad?" Harry was drinking coke in the garden with Annie and Zoe.

"Somewhere in Central America. Must look it up in the atlas. I'm not very good south of the border."

"I thought he wasn't in the field these days?"

"Not as much but he never said never, you know. Gets bored in an office. Needs to get out and smash a few heads every now and again."

"Really?"

"No, just joking. But he does get bored. This is still management- advisory role in some US military case. It will be all cocktails and diplomats; very tame but it gets him out."

"Sounds exciting." 

Annie shrugged. "Well, it beats changing nappies and arguing with British workmen. Come to think of it, there are plenty of heads he could smash here if he'd hang around long enough!"

"Annie, Can I ask you something?" Harry had gone quiet and was stubbing his foot against the table. "I did want to come and see Zoe but I also wanted to have a chat with you about something."

"Go on, Harry. Spit it out. You got this far."

Harry seemed to be blushing all the shades of red and Annie felt that she needed to give him a hand.

"You know, when I was doing my MA, I did some supply teaching to earn some money. I ended up doing a couple of days a week at this comprehensive in London. Real tough school; they ate teachers for breakfast, you know the sort of kid. I was given a first year PSE class on a Monday morning..."

"PSE?"

"You won't have such modern subjects! Personal and Social Education - Growing up- you know. I got lumbered with the sex education. Am I getting warm?"

Harry nodded. "How did you guess?"

"Harry, what else could it be if you blush that colour? Is it something you can't say to your Mum?"

"I can't say anything to my Mum. She told me the basics when I was little but ..."

"I know- you're past the basics by now.  I expect it's boys' stuff, isn't it? Don't want to talk to your Mum about that? What about Michael? He's a doctor- couldn't you have a word with him?"

"He's so stiff upper lip. I couldn't really open up to him- I think it would embarrass him."

"Terry? He's your father. Has he ever, you know, discussed the facts of life with you?"

Harry shook his head. "Told me a few dirty jokes but he seems to think I know it all." Annie threw her hands up in the air. "Men! They drive me mad. What is it with them? It's no wonder they're such emotional cripples. Mothers and daughters talk all the time and what you don't talk about to your Mum you discuss at length with your friends. Meanwhile boys tell lies and dirty jokes!"

Harry laughed. "That's what it's like at school. Everyone acts like they've done it and I'm sure half of them haven't but you have to keep up the pretence or they think you are gay or something."

"And then there are private boys' schools! I don't believe it in this day and age. Do you have sex education lessons?"

"In Biology- it's fairly technical stuff. How to have a baby - but, let's face it, that's the last thing we want, isn't it?"

"Too right! Is there someone special, Harry?"

"Not sure. There's a girl I like but I can't figure her out. Sometimes I think she likes me and other times she just acts like I get on her nerves."

"Harry- that's about as far as most men have got. Is this just a general chat or would you like to ask something specific?"

"Both really."

"Why me? Perhaps you should wait until Terry gets back and you could come over for a night. I'd make him talk sensibly to you. I mean- I don't know what it feels like to be a sixteen year old boy- he might just remember!"

"I don't think I could ask him. He'd think I was a wimp. I can't imagine he ever had any problems with girls."

"Sweetie, his life has been one long problem with girls- why do you think he ran away and joined the army? Anyway he wouldn't think you were a wimp; I bet he'd be proud to be asked.  Look, when I taught at this school, I used to run a question box. It's easier to write certain things down than say them. You won't shock me. I have heard it all. Here- pad and pen! I'll put Zoe down and you have a think."

Annie breezed matter-of-factly upstairs and left him chewing on the pen. This was a special moment and she felt quite stunned that Harry had come to her. But it made her angry that he had to seek things out for himself. 'Right Terry, you are going to give him the benefit of some of your knowledge when you get back, like it or not!'

Most of his questions were touchingly naïve; he seemed more interested in how one knew when a girl was saying yes, he couldn't read the signs. They seemed to be so forward and then suddenly he would find he'd overstepped some hidden boundary. That was always going to be the hardest one to deal with- how many grown men could read that one? But there were practical things like- can you have sex when a girl is menstruating (kids always ask that!)? Can you get VD/ HIV from petting?  Annie dealt with them all and Harry soon seemed to have lost his initial embarrassment and started asking things quite openly. The final one was condoms. He didn't know how to put one on.

"Practice." Annie replied. Harry blushed. "Come on -we'll have a go now." Harry jumped up. " I don't mean actually wear one! Bananas. We used to use them in school- or courgettes. Let's see what I can find." Annie went to the kitchen and made a few selections then ran upstairs to the bedroom. There must be some old ones somewhere. 'Bedside cabinet, top drawer, both sides'. Annie suddenly burst out laughing- those were the days, Terry Thorne! Returning to the patio, she deposited everything down on the table.

"Are they Dad's?" Harry sounded shocked. 

"Well, they're not mine or Zoe's! Don't worry they must be out of date by now. I think he just keeps them for old time's sake." A confused look on Harry's face.

"Don't you ... need them?"

"I'm sure we can spare one."

With a practised ease that certainly impressed Harry, Annie tore the packet, eased out the rubber and showed him what to do. By the time all the bananas and courgettes had been safely wrapped up, they had gone through a pack of twelve and were roaring with laughter. Suddenly, a voice broke into their fun:

"Are they actually prophylactics, Annie? You are showing my son how to use condoms?" Penelope. She had decided to drive over and pick Harry up, walking round to the garden when no one answered the front door. Harry went white.

"Harry just asked me how they worked. Teachers demonstrate them like this at school." Annie lamely replied.

"Not in Harry's school, they don't. Probably in northern comprehensives to the oiks up there- but most of them are in the club by the time they leave school, aren't they?"

"Perhaps if someone had taught you how to put one on then you wouldn't have been up the spout when you left school either. Shit, Penny, you were pregnant yourself when you were scarcely older than Harry!"

"How dare you bring me in to this! I'm trying to raise my son with some values and I won't have you corrupting him with your leftist ideas."

"Jesus. Why don't you take the stick out of your backside and get in the 21st century! Kids have sex. Our job is to keep them safe. I didn't tell him to go out and do it- but it might happen. You must see that!"

"Well, it's more likely to now that you've given him carte blanche. He's only sixteen. I don't want him growing up like his father..."

"You didn't seem to mind a bit of rough when you were Harry's age, did you? Bit late now to pretend you've got ice in your knickers!"

Throughout the row, Harry had stood with his eyes wide open, unable to believe some of the things that were being said. At the final comment, he snorted.

"That's enough from you!" Penny screamed at him. "I'll be in the car. And I shall call Terry about this. You have no right." Penny stormed out of the garden.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I shouldn't have said that about your Mum getting pregnant - I didn't mean she shouldn't have had you..."

"It's OK, Annie. Not many people put my Mum in her place. She always makes it sound like Dad took advantage of her. I never really believed that. I'm sorry she got mad at you."

"Don't worry about me. I can take it."

"Will Dad be angry with you?"

"No. He'll think it was funny. But I will get him to have a word. See if you can swap remedies for those unwanted stiffies, you know! Oh, and here's something for you." Annie slipped an unopened condom into his hand. " Just in case, eh- and they're not actually out-of-date, I checked! Take care, Harry and thanks for trusting me- I feel really honoured."

PART SIX

Half way through a breakfast meeting in Terry's room, his hand phone rang. Terry answered and listened with a frown, occasionally blowing air and raising his eyebrows; finally he started giggling (yes, Chris thought, that was definitely a giggle) 'She said what?' he laughed. "Listen Pen, I can't discuss this over the phone. I'm with Annie on this one, though.  Maybe it should have been me to talk to him but frankly, love, she'd make a better job of it ... Be reasonable Pen- better to ask her than some mates at school. Jesus, Penny, will you listen to reason?  I'll see you when I get back!" He snapped the phone off.

"What was that all about?"

"Family stuff. Bit of a ruck between Annie and the ex-wife. My son went to Annie for some sex education and now his mother is accusing her of being a corrupting influence." He lit a cigarette and dragged deeply on it.

"No good for you those, Terry! What's her problem? Isn't sex education responsible parenting?"

"Not in the leafy groves of the privileged classes. You don't know my ex-wife. She could have commanded a Japanese concentration camp. Not exactly a liberal thinker. Trouble is Annie has a mouth on her and you can guarantee she'll say something outrageous. Sort it out when I get home." Terry sighed.

"Pity you can't grab everyone by the balls and squeeze, isn't it, boss!"

"Too right."

"Must be hard for Annie caught in the middle. Especially if she is stuck at home with the baby and no outlet for her frustration. Difficult time for a woman, this." Chris observed.

He gave her a quizzical look. "How come you are so well up on the problems of young mothers?"

"I'm an aunt many times over. My brothers are very good at fertilisation but not so good at lending a hand- I listen in at family functions! Also I'm a girl. I think about stuff like that. Everyone wants kids one day but it's always the woman who makes the ultimate sacrifice in time and career, isn't it?  What did Annie do before she married you?"

"University lecturer."

"Smart girl. Must feel like a vegetable these days."

"Never thought of it like that. It was her choice to take a career break. I wouldn't care if she went back to work."

"Not as easy as it sounds. She's probably torn between wanting to be a good mother and having time for you. But the day-to-day grind will be worse than what she bargained for- didn't you say there was a lot of work being done at the house? That's a real doozy."

"Is this the result of your Psychology degree or do all women have a radar for counselling? Feels like a marriage guidance session, love!"

"Sorry, Terry. None of my fucking business. Just that girls have these kinds of conversations."

"I'm not a girl, love."

"I realise that! Maybe like your son, though, you need a bit of enlightenment occasionally?"

Terry scratched his head. "Could be. Women. Can't live with 'em, can't give them a good smacking..."

"That is a terrible thing to say! You are a complete Neanderthal..." but Chris was laughing.

"... And you are sounding more like my wife everyday, mate!" he replied as he returned to the daily briefing file and poured himself a cup of tea.

Chris shook her head in feigned exasperation but her thoughts were elsewhere. She was finding him very easy to talk to and he seemed open to sharing quite intimate details of his private life; it was an unusual response from such a masculine man- or was he in need of some support?  She wondered whether he was unhappy or feeling trapped in his marriage; perhaps this self-deprecatory style was a mask for something deeper. Whatever, she knew that she was becoming more and more tempted to offer some consolation - would he be receptive? He was her boss and a wrong move might put her job on the line - but was he really the sort of guy to run away from a physical connection?

The trouble was, was that all she wanted? In her heart of hearts, Chris suspected that a one-night stand with him would not be a solution for her; she wanted much, much more already. For now she planned to play it cool and business as usual until she saw an opportunity to assess his feelings more accurately; apart from one or two unguarded glances he had made toward her, he had not shown much inclination to play- but then he was an operator. He knew how to keep his thoughts to himself.

It was a long day and even longer night; holed up in the communications centre at the embassy, the on-off negotiations went on until way past midnight and, just as some agreement seemed in sight, the rebels took offence at a minor issue that the US would not concede and pulled the whole deal. Driving back to the hotel, Chris and Terry were quiet; both were frustrated by the waste of effort and the trivial nature of the matter that had turned their work- it was back to square one tomorrow.

Chris watched him as she drove; he drove fast but always in control, giving the impression of latent strength easily taming the powerful machine. It made her think of what he would be like in bed; she could imagine that strength and command in an entirely different kind of driving seat and the notion made her feel languid. 'Wonder what would make him lose it completely' she contemplated, ' wouldn't mind feeling him under my control, either.'

They pulled into the parking bay and took the service lift up to the third floor. It was 2 a.m. "Christ, I could use a drink," Terry muttered as the doors opened.

Chris swallowed hard. "I've a bottle of Scotch in my room..."

"Let's crack it then, love," he replied with a grin.

Several large measures later, their mood had lightened. Terry was regaling her with a story of something Dino and he had got up to on one job concerning a great deal of booze and a few strippers; he was giggling so hard at the memory that he could hardly finish. It struck Chris that they were drunk; both were exhausted and had eaten little but a few sandwiches since breakfast- the Scotch had hit the mark quickly.

"You and Dino have quite a rep. That op. in Tecala was something else. You were freelancing on that weren't you?"

"Freelancing? Fucking unemployed. Three months and no pay."

"How'd that happen?"

"Luthan dumped the client- insurance ran out. You could say I had a sudden urge to be compassionate- offered the wife a freebie." Terry grimaced as he said it.

"How noble!"

"Not quite."

"What do you mean? What was in it for you?" He didn't reply, merely slugged down the rest of the glass and refilled. "You weren't doing a number with the wife were you? Naughty boy. So what happened when you got him out?"

He held his arms in the air. "What do you think? Gee thanks, honey, but no thanks.  King of unrequited love, I am." He held the glass to his heart in a mocking gesture.

"Well, you've met your match, Terry, my boy. Meet the queen. Been there, got the fucking T-shirt etc.," Chris stood up and helped herself to another shot.

"Go on, you know all my secrets- tell me some of yours. Who broke your heart?"

Chris gazed at him. "They all did, honey. Oh, I've had a couple of longish relationships but it's always the same in the end. Not many guys are man enough to put up with a girl who could beat them in a fight. I intimidate men, that's what they tell me. Just because they haven't got the balls to cope with real equality. I mean, I'm a woman underneath, for God's sake! I might be in control on the judo mat but I still want a guy to treat me like a lady in the sack, you know what I mean?"

Taking the drink out of her hand and placing it down on the table, Terry suddenly swept her legs from under her and pinned her to be the bed.

"It's not a mat but I haven't lost my touch." he grinned.

"I wasn't ready!"

"What kind of excuse is that?" They burst out laughing and Chris struggled to get a limb free to take her revenge- God, he was strong! Suddenly she raised her palm and struck him full on his left shoulder with the heel of her hand flattened; it was a powerful Wing Chun blow. He crumpled to the side, groaning.

"Terry, what did I do?"

"My shoulder... it's knackered." She unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it aside and saw the scarring. "Bullet?" He nodded, panting. Chris stroked the skin and found herself running her hand over the powerful shoulder muscles down to the large pectorals and ruffling the hair on his chest. His breathing had regulated; he was watching her intently.

Terry reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her to him, his other hand slipping round to hold the back of her head, running his fingers through her short hair. Their lips met and he crushed her to him, kissing her passionately, almost bruising her in his intensity. She responded and opened to him, tasting the whisky and nicotine and smelling his fragrance: aftershave and a musky, male smell- it drove her mad with desire.

Their bodies came together instinctively, he throwing a leg over her thigh and rubbing himself against her as they writhed together in a frenetic embrace, his knee reaching for her groin and applying pressure.  Chris pulled his shirt from his pants and over his shoulders; he broke away long enough to shrug it from him and then returned to her, his large hands roaming down her body as she explored his torso. Terry moved from her lips to her ears and then down to her neck, stopping at the hollow of her throat and then moving down. He pulled her arms up and buried his face in her armpit, licking and kissing her, making deep moans of satisfaction, almost animal like. She thought she would come with just the touch of him.

They were both too aroused to wait much longer. He began to rip at the buttons of her white shirt and she assisted, unhooking her bra to allow him to touch her breasts. He murmured appreciatively when they swung free and he rolled her over on top of him so that he could lie beneath her as he suckled, his hands struggling to unfasten her pants and kick them off with his feet.

Raising himself to a sitting position, holding Chris by the hips and pulling her onto his lap, he brushed her hair and looked deeply into her eyes, "Are you sure you want this?" She groaned and nodded. "I can't give you anything else."

"I know. This will have to be enough. Make love to me, Terry. I can't stand it any more."

Laying her down, he sat on the edge of the bed and removed his shoes and socks and unzipped his pants. Chris knelt up and lent her body against his naked back. "Terry, I'm not on the pill."

"It's OK, love. I've got a rubber." He pulled out his wallet and found one. Chris noticed how he snapped the wallet closed but not fast enough to hide the picture of a beautiful dark haired woman and a small baby. Standing up he dropped his pants and she stared at him, his erection straining against the soft cotton of his white under shorts.

"Terry- you are a big boy," she smiled wickedly, " see what you mean about breaking iron girders now!" Kneeling up she hooked her fingers into the waistband of his shorts and pulled them down, whistling when she viewed him unencumbered and lowering her head to taste him. He let out a deep grunt as her lips gripped his shaft and her tongue ran round his ridge.

Falling to his knees, she rolled him over on his back, removed her panties and climbed onto his body on all fours. " My turn to take you by surprise," she smirked and he let her stimulate his body, licking and kissing him as he had done for her, rubbing her sex against his hard cock all the while. When she thought he could stand no more she returned to fellating him and revelled in how he gave himself up to her; now she had him under her control, begging for it. Taking his balls in her mouth, one at a time and tenderly massaging the delicate skin at their base, whilst jerking him with her hand, she knew he was at the edge; she could feel the tightening in his testicles that would presage his orgasm.

Chris raised her head and reached for the condom, tearing the wrapper with her teeth and putting the rubber against her lips, blowing slightly to loosen it. Then, still holding it in her mouth, she lowered her head and unrolled it with her lips. He groaned.

As soon as it was in place, he threw her on her back and parted her legs roughly; she knew she had pushed him too far and would have to take the consequences. What consequences! His cock drove into her and she gasped with shock- she had never felt any man fill her so completely. He was moving a little too fast but she did not try and stop him-she was so close to orgasm and the delicious pleasure more than compensated for the pain of trying to take him in so quickly. Her wet juices were flowing and she found herself adapting to his movement, rising and falling, faster and faster, as he thrust deeper and deeper. His hand slipped down to touch her hair and found her clitoris and he stroked it as he fucked her. In one burst they both climaxed together; she shouting his name and bucking wildly, he simply let out a deep rumble and said ' Annie.'

Lying in his arms as they began to return to the world about them, Chris felt a deep pang of regret. ' He's with her in his head. This was just about getting laid.' But she was incapable of anything but wanting him, stroking his hair as he nuzzled her breasts and fell asleep.

A doorbell rang somewhere in his subconscious. Opening his eyes Terry tried to focus on the room and then remembered where he was. Turning his head, he saw Chris naked and curled up fast asleep at his side. He swore under his breath; the doorbell rang again. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, aware that his head was hammering and his mouth dry and bitter, he pulled on his pants and went to answer the door.

"Chris? Fucking hell, Terry! What the fuck...you stupid, fucking bastard." Dino stood outside Chris' room with a stunned expression on his face. He pushed past Terry and walked into the room where Chris was just beginning to wake.

"Oh man!" Dino put his hands to his head. "You stupid fucking prick, Terry. Can't you keep it in your pants?" Chris gasped and pulled the sheet round her.

"Get out, Dino," Terry growled, lighting a cigarette.

Dino swung at him but Terry backed off. "I mean it, Dino. Fuck off. This is none of your business." His friend walked to the door and then turned round.

"I'll be at breakfast when you two have quite finished. Then I want some fucking explanation, Thorne, as to why you are in bed with one of the hired hands. Some sort of payment in kind, is it?" He slammed the door.

Terry slumped into a chair and rubbed his forehead. " Terry, I'm sorry."

"Not your fault, love. Mine. You have to be married to commit adultery."

A cell phone began to ring. Terry pulled it from his jacket pocket and clenched his fist when he saw the number. He answered.

"I'm not in my room. Early start." He spoke through gritted teeth. "Yeah, she rang yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't call you. Yesterday was impossible. Everything else OK? Listen, Annie, I can't talk now. I'll call you later. Good idea. Go to your mother's for a few days- I'll call you there. Yeah, yeah...I love you too, baby."

He threw the phone on to the bed and looked at Chris. "Fuck!"

PART SEVEN

The waitress cleared their desserts and the two women poured another cup of coffee. Zoe was gurgling in her pushchair, beginning to discover an interest in her feet.

"Is everything all right, Anna?" Annie's Mum had detected a little reluctance on her daughter's part whenever she mentioned Terry.

"'Course, Mum. Why wouldn't it be?"

"You haven't mentioned Terry much this week. Usually when he's away you never stop ringing each other; I think he's called you twice, briefly. Not like him."

Annie looked about her, fussing with Zoe's blanket and felt herself biting back the pricking of tears.

"Oh, Mum. It's been awful lately. We just never stop arguing. I don't know what to do. The day he left we had this terrible row and said some dreadful things to each other. I mean we've apologised on the phone but we haven't really been able to resolve it long distance and I feel like it's still rankling between us."

"What's it about?"

"Nothing really. Everything. You know-any comment seems to set us off."

"Is everything all right in the bedroom, Anna?"

"What! Mum!"

"Don't get on your high horse with me, young lady. I asked a question. It's a common enough problem when you've had a baby."

"Really? Not to have sex, you mean?"

"So there is a problem. Have you not had relations recently?"

"Recently? It's been bloody months since we've had a decent fu..relations."

"Is he pushing you? He needs to be patient."

Mum, any more patient and he could join the priesthood. Besides it's not like we don't want it- it just seems either the baby wakes up or I'm too tired or he comes home late or we have a row. Something always gets in the way. I fell asleep in the middle a few weeks ago!"

Her mother laughed. "I'm sure that did wonders for his ego! What you need is to get away on your own and work on rediscovering the old passion. When's he coming home?"

"Dunno. You can never tell with these jobs."

"When you know, call me. Dad and I will come down and look after Zoe for a few days and you can whisk him off somewhere. Anywhere. Even the guesthouse down the road- but don't leave the bedroom for at least two days and I guarantee everything else will fall into place!"

"You think so? Sometimes I think he can't stand the sight of me."

"Rubbish. That man is besotted with you. Always has been. You seem to be the only one who doesn't realise it. And I know how you feel about him. It's in your eyes every time you mention his name."

"I can't leave Zoe. I'm still feeding her."

"She's nearly four months old and she is already on mixed feeding. Wean her. Put him first for once- it won't do her any harm now to have a bottle!"

Annie sat back in her chair and smiled. She would do it. Take him by surprise and it would all be sorted out.

A few days earlier, Chris had joined Dino at the breakfast buffet in the hotel. She helped herself to a few pieces of fruit, suddenly finding her appetite had disappeared.

"Where's lover boy?"

"He's not coming down. I don't think he's in a talking mood."

"That figures. How the hell did that happen, Chrissie-baby? I can't believe it. Never in all the years that I've known him has he pulled a dumb-ass stunt like that."

"Thanks. I really appreciate being called a dumb-ass stunt."

Dino sat back exasperated. "You have no idea, do you? He gets his life on track for the first time and then proceeds to flush it all down the john. I'm sorry, honey, you're a lovely girl and I'm sure you got the hots for him but he's not on the market. What d'you think is in this for you?"

"It was a just one of those things, Dino. We didn't plan for it to happen. Sure, I was attracted to him- what heterosexual female wouldn't be? But I never thought... we just got drunk and things got out of hand. It won't happen again."

"You're damn right it won't. I'm sending you back to New York. We can finish up here."

"What? That is so unfair. I didn't do anything wrong. He's the one who's married. You can't send me back, I won't go."

"Then I'll fire you." The two glared at each other over the table.

"You never made a mistake, Dino? Slept with someone you shouldn't have?"

He raised his eyes. "That's not the point."

"Actually it is. Give me a chance. I won't screw up again, Dino. I promise. But I can do this job. It's real important to me. Please."

Chris had managed to talk Dino round but he was uneasy, she could see that. What was the big deal with Dino? You would think this girl was his little sister! He was so protective of her and of Terry too. She wasn't sure whether she meant it about leaving Terry alone. If he came knocking again, Chris knew she wouldn't be able to close the door in his face. Depended on him really - and his reaction this morning had been hard to fathom-not exactly communicative.

It was midday before Terry turned up at the embassy; events had moved quickly in his absence. They had played hide and seek with these rebels long enough- there was a change of plan. When Terry entered the office, he acknowledged Chris with a slight nod but avoided eye contact. Glancing at Dino, he made a shrugging gesture; some sort of apology and Dino came over to join him.

"Sorry, mate. I had some thinking to do."

"So there is a brain somewhere in there, is there? Things have gone a little crazy here. No one's prepared to play footsie with them any longer. Satellite pictures confirm what you two suggested. We know where they are and we're going in."

"We? I thought we were keeping our hands clean."

"They want us there. Seems we have a rep for this.  By the way when I say we, I don't mean you. Strictly me and GI Jane."

"Fuck that! I'm not staying here holding her handbag."

"No choice, friend. You're not one of us. No clearance. Plus- your head is somewhere else at the moment. Don't trust you, Terry. Didn't think I'd ever not want you as my back up." Dino turned back to the meeting; Terry grabbed his arm.

"That's fucking crap and you know it. I could do a better job than any of you with my fucking eyes shut, mate."

"Well, try this one on for size then, pal. You have a wife and baby, even if it slips your mind at times. Too risky- too much to lose. I'm not bringing you back to Annie in a bag even if you don't deserve her."

"You can't take the girl."

"Forgotten her name already? She's not staying here with you , my friend. She works for us, she does the job. Anyway she wants to. Think she's had enough of you already, man."

"Jesus, Dino- I just lost it. It was a mistake."

"You bet your sweet ass it was."

"Dino- Don't let Mel know!"

"I'll keep my mouth shut but not for you. I don't want Annie hurt. You- I don't give a shit about at the moment, friend."

The operation was to launch at nightfall from an American base across the border. Terry was running the communications; frustrated at his back seat role. At final check, they ran through last minute details and Terry hung back, smoking and saying little. As Dino kitted up, Terry went over to speak to him.

"Take care, mate. Anything happened I'd never forgive myself."

"I can look after myself, Terry. But thanks anyway." Terry nodded and slapped him on the back

"Go on, you bastard. Let's see what you can do without Uncle Terry holding your hand!" They both smiled.

Dino walked off and Terry watched Chris as she picked up the last of her equipment. As she moved towards the waiting helicopter, he took her arm and pulled her back out of the sight of the others.

"Chris, I'm so sorry. I should never have let it happen. Keep your head clear out there. Leave this shit behind. I want you back in one piece, love."

"Why should you care? You've had your fun." She turned to pass him but he held her back.

"It wasn't like that. And I do care. But I'm not free and I should have realised that a quick fuck was not what you were looking for. If we'd met..."

"Please spare me that, Terry. It isn't much consolation. And if you must know, I never expected any more from you. It was my choice and a foolish one. But I'm not sure I'll ever really regret it." He reached down and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Me neither if I were honest, love."

PART EIGHT

The plane was cruising at 30,000 feet and Annie lay back and enjoyed the freedom of having no one to think about other than herself. She felt a little guilty about Zoe- God knows what was going on her mind. First her father disappears and then her mother too but it would only be for a couple of days and Zoe knew her grandparents well. Her breasts were a little sore but the doctor had said to expect that- she wouldn't lose her milk completely if it were only a few days.

Annie had treated herself to Business class because she wanted to arrive relaxed. This trip was all about relaxation and rediscovery- she smiled when she imagined what it would be like. The idea had come to her in a flash when she had eventually got through to Terry. For several days she had heard nothing- his phone was continually on message- and then she had heard it on the BBC News. Some US raid on a rebel camp in Maragua and she knew straight away what was going on. He's been playing Action Man again and hadn't wanted her to know- typical.

It had made her angry at first but then she had relented. It was his job and sometimes it had to be done; she knew he wouldn't take any unnecessary risks and this was probably just backup. Annie lay back and tried to imagine him as a soldier, dressed in combats and boots and she liked the image - perhaps I could get him to dress up for me sometime? Now there's a fantasy he might go along with! Funny that she had never seen him at work or the image he must portray to others. It would be interesting to see that professional side of him.

So he had eventually rung her and seemed reluctant to discuss what had gone on; the job was finished and he had been on his way to New York. Unfortunately, Dino had been injured- nothing serious- but enough to put him out of commission for a few weeks, so Terry was stopping in New York to handle a few outstanding matters. New York! Fantastic. Just what she needed for a long weekend so she had rung him back and made her suggestion. He had been delighted and now she was on her way.

As she queued up at Immigration, she felt so nervous that she could hardly stand still and her frustration was increased by the long wait for luggage; she should have just brought a carry on as he did - but how would she have managed with the bare essentials? She knew he would simply buy something wherever he was if he needed it. It's so simple for men! Watching the belt lumber round with everyone else's baggage but hers she imagined him standing outside in the arrivals Hall waiting for her- would he be as impatient to see her as she was to see him?

At last she spied her bag and yanked it off, throwing it down on the trolley and wheeling through. It was a few moments before she saw him; he was hanging back, leaning on a marble column, hand in his pockets, just smiling over at her and she felt her stomach flip over. He can still do that to me!

Pushing her luggage over, she stood shyly in front of him. "Gotta light, mister?"

And then he grabbed her and she fell into his arms and didn't care if anyone in the world saw how much she loved him. They clung to each other for so long, kissing and sighing just to be together with nothing between them this time.

"I think we'd better get a room, love!" Terry pulled away and led her to the exit, wheeling the trolley and riding on it like a bit of a kid. They queued for a taxi but didn't mind the wait; they were so wrapped up in each other that they almost lost their place in the line. In the taxi, they went a little further. Terry pulled her onto his lap and opened the front of her blouse with one hand while running his other up her skirt; she ground herself against his groin as they kissed. At one point she noticed Terry look up and extend a middle finger in the direction of the driver- no doubt they had an audience!

Rearranging their clothing as they neared the hotel, Terry having to hold her hand luggage in front of him as he got out to pay the fare to hide his arousal, they quickly made it to the lift and tried to behave themselves as they rode up in the company of a family and a Catholic priest; but Terry's expression as he kept pulling her back against his groin as if the lift were crowded (which it wasn't) drew some disapproving glances from the other adults.

He took her hand when they reached their floor and almost dragged her out of the elevator and down the corridor to his room, fumbling with his key card in his hurry. Slamming the door shut, he pushed her against the wall and shrugged his jacket off as he kissed her passionately and tore at her clothes. Annie was in no mood to argue. Ripping open his shirt and unzipping his pants, she plunged her hand in and gripped his cock, whimpering at the feel of him.

"I need you quick, Terry. Now! We'll play later." And he obliged, pulling down her panties and hoisting her against the wall, ready to thrust inside.

"Wait!" Annie grabbed her handbag and rummaged round for the box she had bought at the airport chemist. Flipping out a rubber she tore it and rolled it on. " I came on last week. It's not safe." But he didn't answer, merely squeezing her butt and raising her to his height while he lunged up and inside her. It was a long time since Annie had had such rough and crude sex; but it was exactly what she needed- all the barriers down straight away so that they could face each other without pretence.

Their orgasm came quickly and intensely; Annie hanging on to his neck and rolling her head against the wall as he grunted and dropped his head against her. For a moment they remained panting and pressed against each other and then they started to laugh.

"What the fuck was that?" he said as he lowered her much more gently to the floor and they looked at each other; he with his pants around his ankles and she half naked, her thighs red where he had gripped her.

"Oh my, oh my," Annie giggled. "You certainly shot your conkers at the door, didn't you! Reminds me of a line I heard in a film once. Something about getting the sex out of the way so we can enjoy the rest of the evening. I always thought it was a great line. You know what I mean?"

Terry grinned "Get the first fuck out of the way so I can take my time on the next one is what I mean. Now where was I? Hi, honey, have a nice flight?"

"The flight was crap but I quite liked the ride!  What have you got planned for me, lover?"

"Shower, rub down, maybe a little body lotion, another shag if you're up for it and then hit the town. Dino's been discharged and he's on antibiotics- you know what a challenge rules are to him. He's planning a bender."

"I hope you don't think you're joining him. Dinner maybe- but no piss up- I want you in fighting form. No brewer's droop, mate! Later I intend to get the low down on your activities holiday in Maragua- and don't pretend you didn't get up to anything you shouldn't- I saw the news!"

Annie didn't notice the shadow that passed over Terry's face for a fleeting moment.

Chris sat nursing a beer in the Irish bar downtown. This had not been a good idea. Dino had called, saying he wanted to have a post-op celebration and she had agreed. After she had sat down she realised that not only was Terry still in New York but the wife had turned up and they would all be spending a cosy evening together along with a few other friends and colleagues who were free. It was already 8.30 and they had arranged to meet an hour ago- perhaps Terry had decided to stay away.

"Dino, I'm not really comfortable with this. You shouldn't have asked me."

"You deserve to be here, honey. I wouldn't have taken a bad gash if you hadn't been standing behind me. I'd probably be dead. But if you weren't here it might look worse. Annie thinks you are a guy. She had better find out now while the two lovebirds are in a good mood with each other. Talk of the devil...here's Beauty and the Beast now."

Chris's head spun round to follow Dino's line of vision. She could see Terry approaching the swing door, pulling a woman behind him, both were laughing. As he raised his hand to push open the door, the woman pulled him back and they kissed, oblivious to the impatient evening crowds who were bustling past them. She looked away and took a swig from the bottle of beer. Turning to the girl sitting next to her, the girlfriend of one of her colleagues, she asked her for a cigarette; Chris had never had such an urge to smoke in years.

Something pulled her eyes back to them as they came through the crowded bar, his arm round her holding her close, she looking up at him her eyes shining. Chris felt tears stinging her eyes and blinked them back.

"Dino!" Terry's wife disengaged from her husband and threw herself on Dino who gave her a more than friendly kiss.

"That's enough, Irish," Terry growled playfully. They all laughed. Dino rubbed his head - Annie had not been gentle despite the obvious injury.

"Stop crying, Lapenti. I've had a baby. I have no sympathy for men who can't stand pain." Annie teased. "Hi, everyone. Anna Thorne- yep, I have to put up with this animal. But someone has to do it! I regard it as a service to womankind to keep streets safe for the rest of you!" Introductions were made and plenty of hand shaking and laughter followed. Chris glanced up at Terry and noticed his uncomfortable grin but she didn't return it. Her mood had not improved at the sight of Mrs. Thorne. In her mind, Chris had imagined some elegant English Rose, dark, cool and slender, a sort of modern day Audrey Hepburn. Instead she saw a vibrant, funny, clever woman who was not only very beautiful but- well she looked like she was a lot of fun; the sort of woman Chris would like to have as a friend. Shit- that made it all seem a hundred times worse!

Annie wriggled into the bench and Chris move up to make room for her. Terry sat down next to Annie. "Hi. I didn't catch your name?" Annie asked.

"Christianne."

Are you someone's girlfriend or with the office?"

"I work for your husband."

"Here? In New York?"

"Based here. But I'm a negotiator, not office staff."

"Really? Fantastic. About time they had some women to shape them up. It's normally like Boys' Own with them! How long have you been with LT? Terry never mentioned you but then he's not exactly very informative - treats everything as if it has classified stamped on it. Still thinks he's in Special Forces."

"Just finished my first assignment."

"Where?"

"Maragua." 

Annie paused and said "Maragua? With Terry? Chris? Is Chris a woman?" She turned to Terry, " I thought you said Chris was a bloke?"

Terry scratched his head and made a non-committal gesture, " Didn't really say anything. You just assumed it, I suppose. The way you always think a doctor is a man when you hear the name. Shows your latent sexism, love!" Chris was a little surprised at the ease with which he was lying.

"Yes, I suppose so. Did you go on that raid?" Chris nodded. " So you must be a girl soldier. GI Jane then?" Chris smiled.

Terry suddenly interrupted "Dino, get the beers in- c'mon Annie, let's have a dance."

There was a small dance floor, already full, and he pulled her on to it. Chris observed that they were not really dancing but merely making out again. Whatever had been wrong before certainly seemed to be put right by now. He couldn't keep his hands of her, nor she off him. Chris excused herself and went to the restroom.

Out on the floor, Annie whispered something in Terry's ear. He couldn't quite hear her and he bent down closer. "I want you now. Feel- I'm not wearing any knickers. Look!" Annie backed back against the wall and hoisted herself onto one of the barstools. She dropped a beer mat in the floor and said, "Pick it up and have a look!" Squatting down he took a peek up the short skirt she was wearing and she wasn't lying.

"Christ, Annie- we're in a crowded bar. I know this is New York but they still don't let you fuck in public!"

"Toilets. I've never done it in a  pub toilet. Come on, Terry. I dare you. I'll check the ladies' and if the coast is clear, we can go in one of the cubicles." She was already pulling him along towards the restrooms. With a quick glance to the others who seemed to be taking no notice, he let her lead him. Annie had mentioned earlier, while they were showering and she had been regaling him with one of her fantasies about him, that she had an urge to do it in a public place and he suspected she had been planning this. Not that he minded- it wouldn't be a first for him.

He hung around outside the door, feeling like a complete perve while she checked it out. She was back in an instant. "One cubicle occupied- quick before she comes out!"

When Annie's mind was made up, it was hard to change it and he followed her in, slipping into the nearest cubicle. Acting as if she was a professional, Annie flipped down the toilet seat and stood on it, raising her skirt to her waist and pulling the off the shoulder blouse to meet it. She ran one hand over her breasts, her nipples already hard, and licked the middle finger of her other hand, inserting it inside her.  Licking her lips she said "You up for it, big boy?"

It was not the kind of offer that needed to be repeated and he stood in front of her, sucking at her breasts while undoing his pants and for the second time that day, taking her with them round his ankles, this time sitting down on the toilet seat, while she skewered herself on him, biting his neck to try to stop crying out. The girl had thought of everything- she had even shoved a Johnny in the waistband of her skirt before she left the table; this was some planned operation. Terry was unable to stop himself from groaning as he came, aware that some poor woman would probably be having the fright of her life next door. This was the Annie of old and he just wanted her back and didn't care what anyone else thought.

Holding each other until their breathing returned to normal, Annie whispered in his ear "Who would imagine that we were respectable married parents?"

"We aren't. Married- yes. Parents- yes. Respectable - no fucking way."

Dressing together and trying to stop themselves from laughing whilst listening to a conversation at the washbasin between two girls who were sharing notes on the same guy they had screwed, Terry decided to take a leak, noisily splashing the seat - now what did the girls think of that? Annie was nearly hysterical by the time she slipped out and checked the coast was clear.

As they boldly walked out, they bumped into two girls coming in who giggled, immediately realising what had been going on. "It's all yours now, girls." Terry grinned, "unless you need any help that is...." Annie dragged him off.

Back at the table, Dino looked up at them, a little suspiciously. "You two been dancin' a long time. Must account for your high colour, Annie, you have a quite a rosy glow there! And Terry, zip yourself up! No need to be quite so fuckin' obvious! Now do you think we could go eat? I cannot abide drinking on an empty stomach!"

Chris waited on the street and flagged a taxi down. She had excused herself before Terry and Annie had returned. It was unlikely either of them would miss her. Sitting in the next cubicle while they made out next door had been the last straw. What a night! She decided to go home and have a serious think about the future. LT was the job she wanted but how long could she continue to work with Terry Thorne?

PART NINE

Terry came downstairs and into the kitchen. Annie was preparing food. He had put his daughter to bed while Annie had showered and she was wearing the blue silk sarong that she had bought in Bali. He slipped his arms around her and nuzzled against her neck, gently nibbling the lobe of her ear. She smelt of expensive shower gel and her hair was still damp underneath. "Mmmm. Smells good."

"It's just a stir fry."

"I meant you." She smiled. "Fix you a drink?"

"Yes, a Ricard for a change, I think. Has she gone off?"

"Sweet as a biscuit. I still haven't lost my touch with women." He threw some ice in a highball glass and added Ricard and water.

"So women still fall asleep on you, do they!" Annie teased. "She really recognised you, didn't she? When you walked in she was so excited - I don't think she even noticed me! And she hardly wanted to feed- just kept reaching her arms out to you."

"Daddy's girl. Oedipus and all that. You're just the competition, love."

"Well, let's just hope she's had enough of you for one night. My turn now!"

Dinner over, they sat for a while chatting over a bottle of wine and then began to clear up. As Annie leant over Terry to pick up a dish, he tugged at the top of the sarong, which she had rolled over above her breasts. The meagre hold did not withstand and it slipped down enabling him to run his hands over her breasts and pull her onto his knee. "Dessert, I think," he murmured as he kissed her. Carrying her through to the lounge, he lay her on the couch and selected a Van Morrison CD- " Screwing music' he called it and returned to her. She lay semi covered by the silken wrap and let him ease it from her, inch by inch, pulling on the material until it slipped from her legs and she was naked beneath.

"Your turn." Annie sat up and pulled his T shirt over his head. Then she tugged at his sweat pants, murmuring approvingly when she realised he was naked too underneath. Terry laid her back and began to make love slowly, kissing her all over her body except where she most wanted him to go. Holding her arms above her head with one hand, he continued his attentions now a little more roughly as he felt her response. Burying his face within her groin, he kissed and licked her, feeling her readiness against his fingers as he inserted them inside and massaged her cunt. Annie was so excited that she was already crying out even before she suddenly contracted and came, jamming her thighs against his head to try to escape from his exquisite torment.

"Fuck me, fuck me NOW!" she screamed as he moved above her. As he entered her and groaned at the warm, creamy wetness, Annie pushed him away.

"Oh God. We've no rubbers. I have got to go on the pill. Sorry, Terry. I'll suck you off- I'm sure you won't mind that!"

He lay back with a grunt but was soon satisfied to let her work on him. Just as he could feel himself on the verge of orgasm, she pulled away again. "There is one left! I just remembered. I didn't use them all with Harry!" Annie jumped up and ran across the room and Terry clamped his hand on his cock, gritting his teeth with the effort of stalling, shaking his head at his wife's antics.

Annie ran for the hallway where Terry had dumped his laptop and keys. She found his wallet there and searched for the condom she had seen weeks ago when she had paid for the takeaway. 'Where is it? It was easy enough to find when I didn't want it!" she thought. But it wasn't there. Pulling out currency and cards and receipts, she frantically raked through the contents. 'Why wasn't it there?' Suddenly with an incredible thud the answer came to her. 'He has used it. That's why he carries condoms still. Because he fucks around when he's away.'

"Annie- for God's sake come back here- I can't stand it, love!" he shouted.

Annie walked in to the lounge with his wallet in her hand and picked up the sarong covering herself with it. She spoke quietly.

"What did you do with the condom in your wallet?" Terry hesitated one moment longer than he should have done- it was enough. She threw the wallet at him and left the room, running upstairs and throwing herself down on the bed in the dark, tears pouring down her face. Downstairs, Terry sat stunned, his erection subsiding as quickly as it had arisen. He couldn't speak, he couldn't move. Blood was pounding in his temples as he realised that she had worked it out so simply. How was he to have known that she had seen it there before? The plaintive voice of Van the Man rang in his ears. Terry realised it was a track he had played over and over when he had lost Alice. It had fed his melancholy then; somehow it didn't seem to be doing any different tonight.

Lying in the dark, Annie tried to take in what this meant to her. The last few months before he had gone away had been difficult for both of them and they had parted on bad terms. He had been far away and under pressure; he must have felt lonely and frustrated. Terry was a man who had been used to casual liaisons, picking up girls in foreign bars, probably ringing call girls when he was low. Wasn't there always the chance he might resort to such comforts even now? They would mean nothing to him, she knew that- just a body in the night. Men could treat sex like that - like how they would watch a porno film on a hotel cable channel and think nothing of it if the receptionist should see it on the bill when they paid. It was normal for them; men were different. But it wasn't right. How could he ignore something like that and act towards her as if nothing had happened? 'If I had done something like that, I would be consumed with guilt -but that was because it matters to me and not him'. So he rang for a call girl one night and had a fuck. Big deal. Did that somehow undo everything that they had meant to each over the past two and a half years? Hardly. 'I will not throw it all away- but he has to see that this hurts me and damages the intimacy that we share.'

After washing her face and changing into sleep shorts and a vest top, Annie checked on Zoe and went downstairs. This had to be sorted out now. Terry was sitting in the dark where she had left him, half dressed now and smoking a cigarette, his head in his hands, deep in thought; he seemed surprised when she came into the room. She stood at the door, watching him for a while and then poured two Scotches, handed him one and sat down on the chair opposite.

"For shock." 

"I don't know what to say to you..."

"No, I don't suppose you do. I can't believe I'm going to say this, Terry, but I don't think it really matters. Sure, I really hurt and I can't bear to think of you and another woman together but... I am not forgiving you, just like that. I want you to know that this has affected me deeply and some of the innocence had gone forever but we have to work through it. It's done and can't be undone. But I love you and I don't want to lose you and I think you feel the same way too...'

Terry put down the glass on the floor and sank to his knees before her. He put his hands on her legs; she couldn't see his face because it was dark and he was looking down but suddenly she heard what sounded like a sob. Annie reached out and tilted his face to hers and she could see tears. Then he put his head in her lap and simply cried. Her heart almost stopped; it was the last thing that she had expected. She stroked his hair unsure how to deal with this outburst of emotion that was so alien to him.

"I'm sorry," was all he could say when he had calmed down.

"I know," Annie whispered and sat beside him on the floor, holding him in her arms as he had done to her so many times before. "We all make mistakes sometimes. As long as we learn from them, Terry, that's the important thing. Once I nearly made a mistake like that and I know it can happen even when you don't want it to. Sex is a powerful force and it drives us places we don't always want to go..."

"When? When did you nearly make a mistake?" Terry suddenly seemed to have realised what she had said.

"It was nothing. Ages ago. I was mad with you..."

"You mean since we've been together? You nearly did what?" He pulled away from her and Annie could sense a change in his mood; a barrier seemed to have dropped.

"Terry, this isn't really about me, it's about you. I was just saying I understand the temptations..."

"What temptation? Are you telling me you wanted to fuck someone else?" 

Annie flinched at his accusation. "It wasn't like that. Terry- after Elizabeth Cheng rang me that time, I really flipped. I went out with someone else and brought him home. Nothing happened, well we kissed and messed around a bit but nothing serious and then I stopped him and he left. No story really but it means I understand how it might have been for you..."

"You believed that bitch without even asking me and went cruising and picked some bloke up and brought him to my home...?"

"Our home. And it wasn't like that- I didn't just pick someone up! Someone I know asked me out; it was quite innocent..."

"Innocent ? You go out with another man while I'm lying bleeding to death in the fucking jungle and you bring him home and let him fuck you..."

"Nothing happened! What is the matter with you? You are the guilty party here, not me. I just told you to make you feel better. They said I should never tell you, you would never understand..."

"Who else knows about this? Fucking Mel, I suppose? This has Mel stamped all over it. Who was it- another of her cast offs?"

"You mean like you?" He exhaled, swore and stood up, walking over to fill up his glass.  After he had drained the glass, he turned to her and his face was set, his chin jutting out with a cold look in his eyes.

"Who was it? Someone at work? An old boyfriend? Who the fuck was it?"

"It doesn't matter who it was."

"Then tell me."

"No. He's got nothing to do with this and you'll just do something crazy if you find out..."

"Is it someone I know?"

"You never told me who you fucked- or was it some whore whose name you never knew?"

"Tell me who it was."

"You tell me."

They stared at each other in the semi darkness. Then he said: "Chris."

Annie gasped. The new negotiator. The girl she had sat next to and had chatted in the bar in New York? While Terry and I had been fooling around that woman had sat and watched us knowing that she had just spent the last four weeks sleeping with him?

"You bastard. Sorry? I thought you just had a shag with a tart- not a fucking affair with a colleague! I'll bet you are sorry. Sorry you had to come home, no doubt. Sorry you got caught. I thought it was just girls who could turn on the tears to get their own way- is this one of your negotiating skills that I never knew about?  And as we are being so honest - it was Ian, by the way. And I'm kind of sorry I didn't take him upstairs now."

Terry threw the glass tumbler against the wall and it smashed into pieces. "You bitch. Ian Havery? I'll fucking kill him..."

"No you won't. I was prepared to forgive you for a mistake. Maybe even for an affair. But I won't forgive you for this. You treat me like the one who betrayed you when I merely went out with him and let him kiss me- I didn't even fancy him. It was just to get at you for what I thought you had done. And I still couldn't go through with it. Actually I don't know exactly what did go on between you and Mrs. Cheng- and like Mr. Cheng I'm beginning to wonder whether my loyalty wasn't rather misplaced."

"In Maragua, I got drunk and reached out for the nearest woman- I even called your name when I came. Once, Annie, once. When Cheng rang you, you didn't trust me enough to check with me first and then went out and looked for the one man you knew I couldn't fucking stand... I didn't set out to hurt you- but you set out to hurt me."

"Am I supposed to be flattered you called my name? While you were giving it to someone else? I thought I understood you but it's obvious that you are a stranger to me. I would have put up with anything from you but not this. You are like some feudal lord: your home, your woman, your child- yet you can seek relief wherever you feel like.  You don't even see how pathetic you are. Get out! I can't stand to be in the same house as you. Make sure you are not here when I get up tomorrow- because if you are, I'm taking Zoe and we will go somewhere- but I need a break and some space between us while I get my head round this. And you better do some serious thinking too!"

Annie turned to leave the room but he lunged after her, pulling her roughly by the upper arms. "You are going nowhere with my daughter."

"Get your hands off me! You just try and stop me. If you put your hands on me again, I'll call the police." Terry dropped his arms and backed off but she could sense the rage building up in him and for the first time in their relationship she felt afraid of him; this man with whom she had always felt so safe and protected. The power and strength that had always filled her with desire now filled her with terror- if he wished to hurt her, she could do nothing against him. Stepping backwards, she edged out of the room and then ran upstairs, making for the nursery and locking the door. Throwing herself down on the little single bed, she rolled up into a ball and closed her eyes. But he didn't follow her and the house fell silent. Annie thought she would never sleep but eventually sleep must have come; she did not hear him drive away.

PART TEN

The next week passed in a daze; Annie barely remembered even going through the motions. But she must have done so. When she looked about her, the house was clean and tidy, the baby cared for, the shopping was done, washing and ironing all neatly folded away and even the workmen seemed to be unobtrusive and nearly finished for once. She attended the play centre on Wednesday and chatted to friends and neighbours; she even popped in to a charity sale at the church hall to help run a stall on Sunday. Everyone inquired where Terry was; the men were in The Green Man watching a Sunday afternoon Premiership match while the women were raising money to save the world- it was the usual performance.  She told them he was away; they asked where, she smiled quietly and said 'Can't say- it's confidential.' They were suitably impressed; what would they think if she said that she hadn't got a clue?

But despite the outward impression of normality, inside Annie was distraught. She couldn't eat, sleep or even sit still. For hours, she wheeled her daughter through parks and country lanes by day; at night she walked the boards, drinking and smoking until she finally dropped asleep on a chair or a bed- but never in their room, that she could not face without him. Once the door to her house was closed and she was alone, she listened to endless songs of loss and confusion until she felt that love was just some passing thing that inevitably ended in bitterness and regret.

She had thought he would call - it was he who was at fault-at least to check on Zoe if nothing else, but he didn't. Finally, driven mad by loneliness, Annie had begun to call his private cell phone, the one he kept for her and Dino and a few other select numbers. But it was permanently switched off. She got the message and did not try his other number. The more the days passed, the more she thought that he might have gone overseas- perhaps New York? Would he do that? Go back to her? He had been angry enough for anything.

One Thursday evening, just as she was putting Zoe down to sleep, the doorbell rang. Annie went downstairs- it was probably a neighbour. On the doorstep was Mel. She was dressed in her work clothes - a smart suit- and had obviously rented a car to drive up. Annie stared.

"Are you just going to stare or can I come in?" Annie stepped back to let her in and then led her into the lounge. She snatched up a cigarette and lit one, her hand shaking a little; she hoped Mel could not see.

"Since when did you smoke?" Annie shrugged.

"Want a drink?" Mel noticed the half empty bottle of wine- Annie must have been drinking since before the baby went to sleep.

Mel shook her head. "Let's have a pot of coffee," and went into the kitchen to brew up. Trailing behind her, Annie said nothing, just sat at the table, folding up baby clothes, the cigarette hanging from her mouth.

When the coffee was made, Mel brought it over, took the fag end from Annie's mouth and stubbed it out. "Drink!" She ordered. Annie glared at her but took a sip of the strong coffee and pulled a face. "It's too strong."

"It needs to be. What's going on?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes, you do. Where's Terry?"

"At work."

"No, he isn't. Not in the office anyway, I called. Where is he, Annie?"

"Don't know."

"When did you see him last?"

"The night he came back. About ten days ago." Mel exhaled sharply.

"You've been alone since then?"

"I'm used to being on my own."

"Not this way. What the hell happened? Why has he gone?"

"You tell me. You seem to know everything." Annie jumped up and pulled out another cigarette from a packet on the counter.

Mel snatched it out of her mouth. "You don't fucking smoke, Annie! Dino rang me and said something was going on. He said Terry had been very odd on the phone and he got the impression things were weird. How weird are they? Talk to me, Annie. You look like a walking zombie. Are you fit to look after your daughter? You've been drinking, haven't you?"

Annie sank down onto a kitchen stool and laid her head on the counter. " He's gone. I don't know where he is. He won't answer my calls. I think he's gone to her."

"Who? Gone to who?"

"Whom. Gone to whom. I'm so fucking clever, aren't I? Know everything except how to keep my man. Chris Wahlberg. He had an affair with her on his last job. I found out. I threw him out."

"Christianne? Are you sure? This isn't something you've imagined again, is it?"

"No- he told me. I asked and he told me."

"God, I didn't know. I can't believe it. What a bastard!" Mel put her arms around Annie but she shrugged them away.

"That's not why I threw him out. I could have handled that- just about. He was very upset so I thought I'd make him feel better by telling him I understood about ...you know, how we can all be tempted at times when things get tough." She looked up at Mel, panic in her eyes, "I told him about that time with Ian Havery and he just fucking lost it..."

"You did what? I told you never to let him know."

"I know but what he did was worse. I just thought if we were both honest it would bring us closer..."

"Are you mad? No wonder they were cagey at Luthan when I rang. He's probably ripped Havery's head off by now. I can't believe you would be so stupid."

"I thought you'd be on my side! I'm supposed to put up with his infidelity but I only kissed a guy. You of all people should understand me."

"Why? 'Cos I put out? Is that what you mean? I'm not married. Jesus, Annie - men are different, you should know that! To them there's sex and sex and they can't mix the two. He put you on a pedestal when he met you. The nearest thing he was ever going to get to a virgin but with a healthy interest in adventurous sex to boot. His only rival for your affections was dead. He's old fashioned about things like that. His girl has got to be his girl, completely- Caesar's wife must be above suspicion, as you know..."

"I am not a plaster saint. He has no right to think of me like that. I can't live up to that- he sure as hell doesn't think it applies to him."

"That's the point. He's wrong- of course he is- but that's because he's a man. You didn't marry a woman, you didn't marry a new man, you didn't marry some guy who was in touch with his feminine side, for God's sake. You married Terry Thorne because you wanted him, warts and all. If you want testosterone-loaded male that's what you are going to get. Grow up, Annie. Of course he can be a shit when he wants to be but that's because it's the other side of him- and you like that as well when it suits you."

"That is such sexist crap, I can't believe you've said it. You would never accept that from a man."

"I'm not you- and I'm not sure I wouldn't with the right man. Look. You had Ben- the diametric opposite of Terry.  Did he make you happy? Mostly. You didn't fight much. You always agreed on everything. You were like two clones. And you know why? Because you did everything he said. He read a book? You read it. He listened to a certain group? You listened to them. He rated a film? You loved it. He wanted to eat Chinese? You ate Chinese. He had a view about the world? You subscribed to it. He nearly choked the life out of you and you never even knew. He was a great guy but you just worshipped him and it sapped your self confidence- and that only began to come back when you met Terry.

He made you strong again. He doesn't expect you to agree with him, like what he likes, do what he says- he has never made one demand on you like that. It's not in his nature. He loves you for what you are, or at least what he thinks you are, and he is confident enough in himself not to have to shape you into some version of himself. What would he want with that anyway? And he doesn't just make you mostly happy- he makes you mostly ecstatic- with the occasional outbreak of hostilities. Your life with him is like some wild adventure; how many people get that in their lives? But there is one area he will not compromise on. He will defend you like a lion defends his pride; you are his woman and he won't tolerate another man near you. Is that so hard to understand?"

"I am not the guilty party. If he wants me, he will have to make the first move."

"He won't. You know what he'll do. He'll go on a bender, pick a fight with someone  (and I hope to god it's not Havery), possibly get himself arrested for affray - and that's just for starters. But the one thing he won't do is let you know how he feels. Oh no, that would be far too logical for a man like him. He'll suppress that right down deep until he has persuaded himself that he can tough it out; he might be a big, brave soldier boy but emotionally he's still in nappies- Zoe's more in touch with her feelings than he is!"

"What am I supposed to do? Are you saying that the only way to keep a man like that is let him do what he likes and tolerate his chauvinism? I might as well live in the Dark Ages. Haven't we moved on? Where does equality fit in all this?"

"Maybe it wasn't always a bad idea to let men think they were in charge. I mean, I read your book! You're the expert on Roman women. Wasn't that what you were saying. That in patriarchal societies women could wield an exceptional amount of power behind the scenes by exploiting the very difference between them and men: sex, children, virginity, what's that word 'univira' the one man woman who had such status."

"Yes- but they had no rights in the law, no careers, no political power- do you think that's preferable?"

"Of course not - but we don't have to throw it all away, do we. Can't we make being a woman work for us sometimes? Does equality always mean we have to wear pants and be tougher than they are? Maybe their weakness is that we are physically weaker than them but emotionally stronger. I don't know- but it's a thought, isn't it?"

"How come you seem to understand more about my thesis than I do?"

"You're too close and you're hurting- and you've reason to hurt. He's given you a rough ride- again. You're not equipped to handle the ambiguities. But you've got to get tough with yourself and him. Go to him, give him hell if you like - but make sure you finish up in his bed and get on with some serious healing. You know- the Marvin Gaye sort!"

Annie sat with her hands on her head. "I don't know where he is. He won't answer my calls. Say he doesn't want to see me?"

"Don't give him the chance to say no. 'Cos he will if you ask him. He's very good at pressing the self-destruct button. I know where he is. He's going away tomorrow on a job. Dino's unhappy about it- says he's not in the right frame of mind but he's being difficult and won't take no for an answer. Went up to see Harry before he left- I reckon he's at that pub he stays at near the school. Take a shower, smarten yourself up and go to him now. Stop him before he leaves. Dino has two people on standby to send out. Go! Now! And drink your coffee before you hit the road in that state."

"What about Zoe?"

"I'm here. I can give her a bottle and change a nappy. Can't be that much to it!"

"Mel- there is a lot more than that to it but... you need to learn. OK, I'll do it before I change my mind."

Annie shot upstairs and was down within fifteen minutes, her hair still damp and plaited in a French pleat at the back to keep it out of her way. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a white T-shirt under a short leather jacket. Mel smiled. She would knock him out as usual with that little girl lost look she had. At the door, Mel hugged her.

"Do not come back without him, you hear? Pretend this is a mission. Use all your negotiating skills- and if they fail- fuck his brains out. I have to know you two are safe before I go."

"Go?"

"I'm taking a job in New York. Don't say anything. We'll discuss it later. Just go- and don't worry about the baby. I'd never let anything happen to his little princess!"

Aware that she was over the limit and not really in the frame of mind for a long drive, Annie took pains to be even more careful than usual. It took her over an hour to negotiate the country roads but it was summer and the night was light and clear.  She played Diva on the CD and sang along to Why and Walking on Broken Glass with real feeling, all the while praying 'Be there!' Pulling into the car park of the Old Boar's Head (which Terry insisted on calling The Old Whore's Bed), she breathed a sigh of relief- Dolly.

Checking her face in the mirror- pinching her white cheeks and licking her lips, she tossed back her head and steeled herself. What on earth she was going to say, she had no idea- but no doubt she would think of something.

The pub was crowded as she pushed open the heavy oak door; there was a Thursday night pub quiz on and all the locals were there- great. They would love the public brawl that this might result in! Terry was at the bar with his back to her talking to Tom Grantham, the landlord, and drinking a pint of real ale. Taking a stool at the other side of the bar, Annie finally caught the eye of a buxom barmaid who was obviously attracting a lot of male attention and seemed unwilling to serve a woman.

"What'll it be?" Big Tits asked her brusquely.

"A mineral water. Oh, and you see that guy over there, talking to Tom?"

The girl glanced over and then smiled. "What- you mean Terry?"

"That his name? Well, get him a pint of whatever he's drinking. Just say I sent it over if he asks."

"Get in line, darlin'. He won't be interested anyway. Tom's says he's married. He might not look it but he seems to be the faithful type. Pity- if he wasn't I'd be upstairs with him now!"

Annie raised an eyebrow. "Give it a go anyway, will you, love? You never know your luck until you try, do you?" She handed the money over and waited, her heart beating quickly. How would he react? Annie watched the girl pull the pint- it seemed to take forever- and then carry it to him, nudging his arm. Terry looked up and grinned at her and they exchanged a few words. She saw him frown and then blush slightly and then he turned to follow the barmaid's extended hand. And he stared. His face showed no expression- how did he do that? Annie wondered. Pierced by his gaze, Annie sat and stared back, feeling flush and almost faint.

Then he stood up and walked over, coming to stand in front of her, closer than he needed to; so close in fact that she felt slightly overawed by his size towering about her. Instinctively she backed against the bar top.

"What do you want?" he asked with little expression in his voice, but he spoke quietly and low- his voice struck somewhere deep in the pit of her stomach.

"Don't crowd me. Move back a little," was all she could say, panting at the nearness of him and the overwhelming maleness he exuded. He pushed himself closer, resting his arms on the bar at either side of her.

"What do you want?" he muttered, his breath on her face.

Annie swallowed hard and blinked. 'What did she want?' Biting her lip, she looked at him; his eyes were fixed on her and there was an unreadable quality to them; he did not intend to make this easy for her.

"You."

"What makes you think I want you?" He thrust his chin out in that way he had when she knew he was in an aggressive mood, when he was quite capable of saying something he didn't really mean. The 'self-destruct button' as Mel had called it.

"I can smell that you want me." Annie was not sure where the comment came from but she knew it was true; his body language might have been threatening but it was in a sexual way. His pheromones were working overtime.

Before she had time to register what had actually happened, he pulled her off the stool, which toppled to the floor with a crash (making everyone in the pub turn round to gape) and then he threw her over his shoulder and ran up the nearby stairs to the rooms above. Annie saw the amazed look on the face of Big Tits, not to mention heard the roar of encouragement from the largely male clientele.

Kicking open the door to a room, depositing her unceremoniously on the floor and slamming it shut with his heel, Terry pushed her back roughly against the door and held her arms above her head with his left hand. Kissing her brutally until she could taste blood on her lips, he ran his hands roughly over her. At first, she felt afraid, but that fear was momentary; her own lust for him soon drove her on to respond as wildly to his passion as he did. Moaning as he ripped down her jeans and pushed his fingers into her she tried to free her own hands so that she could touch the hardness that he was pressing against her thigh. And then he stopped, shook his head and stepped back, letting her hands fall.

Breathing heavily, in short gasps, he said, "Where's Zoe?"

Annie reached for him, but he pulled away, "Where is she?"

"Mel's with her. They're at the house. It's OK we don't need to worry..."

"You left her with Mel? You left my little girl with Mel?"

Terry grabbed a few items of clothes that were lying around the room and thrust them into a bag, then threw on his jacket. "Are you going to get dressed or do you want to come downstairs with your pants round your ankles?" he growled. Annie looked confused but pulled up her clothes and rearranged herself.

He opened the door and grabbed her hand, running down the stairs, dragging her behind him. At the bar, much to the bemusement of all and sundry, he settled up his bill and then pushed her out of the door.

"Terry- where are we going?"

"Home. Before that fucking maniac does some damage."

"But we need to...talk. There's so much I want to say."

He shot her a look. "We need to fuck- but we'll do that in our own bed. I don't want to talk, love. I've had a belly full of talk. Get in the car and get home. And keep up."

Terry opened the door, threw his bag in, jumped into the driver's seat, started the engine and shot out of the car park. Annie suddenly woke up and she raced to her Cherokee and set off after him; her head still reeling from him and his complete turnaround. One moment he was all but ravishing her, the next he was panicking about his baby. Was he for real?

PART ELEVEN

Mel was carrying a crying baby round, almost out of her mind as to what she might do next to pacify the child, when she saw the lights of a car and heard the screech of tyres on the driveway. That was certainly not Annie. Hurrying to the window, she saw the Jag and Terry launching himself out of the door. Following hot on his heel came Annie in the jeep and she also jumped out and slammed the door as he wrenched open the front door and burst in.

"Give her to me," he commanded and Mel meekly handed over the baby who immediately stopped crying although still continuing to sob pathetically. Terry held her over his shoulder and Mel was sure the wretched child was smirking at her - 'Can four- month old babies smirk?' she wondered. There was certainly a self-satisfied look on her little face.

"She wouldn't stop crying. I didn't do anything." Mel insisted.

"She's not crying now, love," he retorted with a look very like his daughter's.

"You're her Dad. Perhaps she was missing you." Mel replied provocatively; Terry fixed her with a stare. At that point Annie came in and Mel made a face 'Well?' she mouthed. Annie made a 'Who knows?' gesture and threw herself down onto a chair.

"Give her to me. I'll feed her -it will probably calm her down."

Terry reluctantly parted with his daughter and crouched down by them as Annie pulled up her T-shirt and offered her nipple to the baby. He stroked the little girl's head and let his fingers drift on to Annie's breast; they caught each other's eyes and smiled. Mel got the message. "I'll go to bed then, OK? " But no one seemed to be listening, so she grinned to herself and ran upstairs. Pulling off her clothes and searching for a toothbrush in the guest bathroom cupboard, she checked her watch and rang New York; Dino was still in the office.

"Better call the reserves. There's going to be total capitulation on this front soon. I'm planning on wearing earplugs tonight once the bombardment starts."

"That bad, eh, honey?"

"Jesus, Dino. What is the matter with them? Promise me you'll shoot me if I ever show any of those tendencies."

"What tendencies would they be, sweetheart?"

"Romeo and fucking Juliet. Star-crossed lovers- what the fuck."

"At least the earth moves when they make up."

"I can make the earth move without requiring World War Three first, lover. Talk to you tomorrow. Be good. Oh, and if you go near Christianne Wahlberg, you're fucking dead."

"She's Terry's replacement. Leaves for South Asia tomorrow."

"How appropriate. But remember you have been warned. I don't for a moment think you have anymore self control than our friend downstairs, so don't pretend you're any different."

"Honey- you are more than enough for me. I don't have the death wish that Thorne seems to carry around with him. Anyhow- what do you know about the lovely Christianne?"

"As much as you do, lover- you boys do stick together, don't you? Sweet dreams."

It was quite obvious that Annie was in a good mood then next morning as she whirled her daughter round the kitchen to the strains of some crass boy band. Mel staggered down the stairs. She hadn't slept well - there had been no available earplugs- and despite this being an old house with thick walls, their reconciliation had been noisy, energetic and long-lived. How Annie managed to be so chirpy at that time of the morning after so little sleep was a remarkable feat.

"Morning, Melanie. Coffee? Black? Ibuprofen?"

"Wipe that smile off your face. Don't you need sleep?"

"I have a four-month old baby. I'm programmed to operate on zero hours' sleep."

"I didn't hear Zoe in the night! However..."

"Noisy were we? Mel, it was amazing. I'm so sore this morning-I think he might have done some permanent damage. Makes me weak just to think about it..."

"Where is Don Giovanni this morning?"

"You won't see him for hours. He can't lift his eyelids this morning, never mind anything else. You know what they're like. Rutting bull at night, dead dog in the morning. I'll give him a couple of hours and then throw Zoe in the bed- she'll drive him nuts but he can't swear at her."

"Going to miss his flight then?"

"I forgot about that. Who gives a shit?"

"Dino. He sent our little Nordic friend instead."

"Brunehilde? That's my name for her. She can take her iron breastplates and ..."

"Quite. I have to go. Some of us have to work. Look- give me a call. Let's do lunch soon. I want to talk to you about something else other than him upstairs." Mel threw her coffee down, kissed Zoe (who gave her a suspicious look) and raced out. What a trip!

PART TWELVE

Annie left the office of the publishing company, strapped Zoe into her pushchair and rode the lift, a wide smile on her face. She had done it. Handed in the finished manuscript and the editors had it now. Time to celebrate. She looked at her watch, eleven o'clock. She wasn't meeting Mel for lunch until one. It was a sunny September morning and she decided to take a walk with Zoe. It amused her to push a baby through the City, causing all the suits to have to jump out of her way. They didn't see many mothers and babies around there.

She suddenly recognised the Lloyd's Building and crouched down to show it to Zoe.

"That's where Daddy is! Right up there! See!" Zoe looked up, squinting against the sun. 'I wonder if she understands me?' Annie thought for the millionth time. Then she had a brainwave. 'Why not?'  And she steered across the road and made for the main entrance.

At the reception Annie asked if she could leave the pushchair and they reluctantly agreed; it was obviously not a common request. Riding the panoramic lift to the 38th floor, she was fascinated by the incredible view of London- of course it was a famous landmark and she wondered why she had never been up there before. Even Zoe seemed entranced by the sight- her eyes were wide as she looked out and she kept checking her mother's face for some reassurance. The sunlight caught her expression and Annie suddenly saw Terry in her face - how strange. She had never noticed it before. It was a sort of wistful look he had when he wasn't sure about something.

The lift doors parted and she stepped out into the plush surroundings of Luthan Risk. Ahead was a hi-tech reception, chrome and wood, manned (or should that be 'womanned') by a cool blonde in a severe grey suit. She glanced up and gave Annie a withering look- it said 'how did this woman get up here?'

"Can I help you?"

"Probably not. But I'll give you a whirl. I'm here to see Terry Thorne."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No. Didn't think I'd need one."

"Mr. Thorne is an extremely busy man. May I inquire as to the nature of your business with him?"

"Private." Blondie raised an eyebrow.

"Leave your name. Take a seat and I'll see what I can do. Don't count on it- he's in an important policy meeting. Oh, and keep the child under control, please. This is a place of work not a crèche."

Annie pulled a face like a naughty school kid, said 'just tell him that it's Annie' and sat down on one of the leather armchairs. First she opened her bag and pulled out a little mat and proceeded to change Zoe's disposable nappy and then she sat back, opened her blouse and fed her daughter in full view of the girl on the desk who looked horrified.

"Keeps her quiet," Annie offered and then "Can I dump this in the ashtray here?" indicating the soiled nappy. The girl said no way and told her to take it with her. Annie snorted; of course she had intended to do so.

The doors to the inner sanctum swung open and Pamela hove into view with a stack of mail for the desk. She noticed Annie and did a double take.

"Annie? How marvellous! This must be the little girl!" Surprisingly Pamela seemed genuinely interested- perhaps the super efficient PA also had a biological clock that was ticking. She knelt down beside Annie and clucked over Zoe, who having just fed, was good humoured and lapping up the attention. Blondie on the desk was bemused. "Does Terry know you're here?  Keeley- why didn't you page Terry? You can't keep his wife out here. At least take her to his office to wait!"

The look of complete shock that hit Blondie (aka Keeley) was worth it. Annie smiled sweetly and followed Pamela inside along the carpeted corridors, amazed at the silent elegance of the place, wondering how Terry hadn't run amok here. It must drive him mad after the mayhem of his previous lifestyle. At the end of the corridor was another plaque- this was his suite of offices.  Another waiting room beckoned and a slightly friendlier secretary. This must be Rachel; Annie had spoken to her many times on the phone.

"Mrs. Thorne. It's great to meet you at last." Rachel was Australian; Terry seemed to feel more at home with her. " Let me hold this little beauty. Wow, she has Terry's eyes!" Pamela and Rachel went into a huddle and Annie had a look around. ' Pretty flash, mate.' she thought as she studied the prints on the wall and the designer furniture. The door opened and in he walked talking to Ian Havery (which was a surprise in itself). Both men stopped dead when they saw her and she noticed Ian give Terry a nervous glance.

"Well, aren't you going to say 'G'day?'" Annie asked him with a smirk.  She immediately recalled last night's passionate sex and wondered if it was crossing his mind. She licked her top lip slightly and flared her nostrils; he looked down towards his groin and made a slight thrusting motion. They both grinned. Nobody else seemed to notice.

"G'day, mate," he retorted. "What brings you here?"

"Thought it was time I showed off your prize possession." She indicated the women who were still fussing over Zoe.

"Terry, she's beautiful. Can we take her and show her to the girls?" Rachel was already at the door.

"Perhaps some of the boys might like to see her too?" broke in Ian and they showed her to him.

"She's bloody loving this!" Terry observed. At the sound of his voice, Zoe threw her head back and made it quite obvious that it was her father she wanted. As Rachel tried to take her out of the room, she screamed in temper.

"What did I do?" Rachel 

"Not you - she's just another lady with the hots for the big guy. You'll have to hand her over- she'll scream blue murder if you don't."

Once installed on her father's shoulder, Zoe snuggled up contentedly and he immediately lost his cool, smiling and cooing as usual. Ian looked embarrassed at Terry's open show of affection (considering it was only a few weeks ago since it had taken several men from his department to pull an irate Thorne of him- there were still a number of theories going around the office about that one) and the women exchanged 'Aw, look at that!' expressions.

Once they had managed to extricate themselves from the audience, Terry took her into his office and she saw the magnificent view it commanded. It was as she might have expected- modern, elegant, orderly, but its clinical efficiency was sabotaged by a pin board full of photographs of Zoe and her. He was such a softy about stuff like that.

"Are you trying to ruin my reputation?" he grinned.

"What reputation - war hero, ex-SAS officer, shadowy, unorthodox hostage negotiator? I'll let you into a secret about women. We love all that tough guy, macho stuff but what really gets us going is a man with a baby. All that strength cradling a little child- they'll be gagging for it when I leave."

"That's all there is to it?" Why didn't someone tell me that twenty years ago? Thanks for the tip," he teased.

"Do you want to hear my news? The good or the bad?"

He frowned. "Good?"

"They accepted the book- they'll be in touch about a publication date soon!"

"Clever girl. Didn't have doubts. However, I don't think I can afford to give up the day job yet. How many copies are you going to sell of 'Behind the palla: Roman matronae in the first and second century AD'? Not going to storm the bestsellers', lists, is it, love?"

"Oh, ye of little faith- there are dozens of libraries.  I expect I'll sell at least twenty copies!" But it's a start. Name in print. Now I can begin THE novel of the Twenty First Century."

"It'll take you that long to finish it at the speed you work! Right then, bad news?"

Annie raised her eyebrows and grinned sheepishly, "Well that sort of depends on your point of view..."

One thirty and Annie was across town in a little bistro near Mel's office. It had taken them almost a month to arrange the promised lunch date. Mel was working her notice; she was to leave at the end of the month and take up a new post in January in New York- before that she was planning a long holiday and some apartment hunting. Zoe was fast asleep after the over-stimulation of the morning and the two women were having a long awaited heart to heart.

"You really are a sly dog," Annie said in an accusatory tone. "You have your nose in everyone else's business and then you pull a flanker like this on me. I thought you wanted to stay free and easy."

"Well it's not like we're getting married or anything. Neither of us is interested in that and we prefer being aunt and uncle to producing sprogs of our own. But it kind of works. He gets me and I get him. I can't think of anyone else would put up with either of us. I'm happy- he's happy, so why not. I'm 31, Annie? I can't screw my way round London forever."

"There can't be many left here now, anyway, Mel. New York's a.. .well Big Apple. Plenty to bite on there, I should imagine."

"I'm suddenly losing my desire for meaningless sex."

"I'll believe that when I see it! Seriously though, I think it's brilliant and I think in a crazy way it will work. Terry's delighted. He's a bit of a matchmaker, you know. Did you hear about that South Asia job? He sent a new guy out to feel the ropes, as he put it. A New Zealander- used to be a paratrooper and was with the UN in Africa. Apparently, Brunehilde must have a thing for Antipodeans because rumour has it... well she seems to have felt his rope anyway." The two girls howled with laughter.

"Terry'll be knitting baby socks next- I'd watch him, you know!  I think he's on the change!" Mel giggled.

"Actually, funny you should say that..." Annie added.

"What? Is he on the change?"

"No, idiot. I've got something else to tell you..." Annie stopped and played with her pasta.

"Go on, Annie. What is it?"

I'm pregnant again..." 

Mel feigned a heart attack and slumped back in her seat. "What am I going to do with you two? Are the principles of contraception lost on you? Zoe's not even six month's old yet! Are you crazy?"

Annie sighed and shrugged. "I know I ought to be devastated but somehow I'm not. Actually I'm over the moon. I just told him and he nearly passed out but he thinks it's wonderful. I always wanted two kids, might as well have them close together while our life is still in baby chaos with Zoe."

"Is he planning an entire rugby squad? Be careful- you could be dropping them every year at this rate. This is your third pregnancy in two years, sweetie."

"I know. Scary, isn't it? I only seem to have to look at him. He must have the most fertile gaze in the world."

"I think there's a little more to it than that. Try keeping your knickers on in future."

"You can talk!"

"I take no chances."

"You're right though. When I have delivered this little darling, I'm going to suggest he has a vasectomy..."

"What?  You've got more guts than I gave you credit for! I think I've just heard the rumblings of World War 4!" Mel screeched.

"Why not? He'll have fathered three children by then- that's enough for any man in this day and age. It's only minor surgery."

"We are not talking about any man, hon, we are talking about Alpha Male. If you think he's going to let anyone take a scalpel near his balls, you are seriously mentally challenged. OK, OK have a go- but here's fifty quid that says he'll bottle it. You on?"

Annie grinned and took the bet but she had a suspicion herself that she would find some resistance on that one. Better start working on her argument now. They could be in for some serious negotiations- and she imagined Terry would really dig in for a long siege- probably hit the trenches over his fertility. Well, there was always the final card. Ace in the hole, so to speak. 'I wonder if he's ever heard of Lysistrata?' she mused to herself.