Chapter 8

Sometimes, even those who flirt on the edges, dancing with death ... sometimes even they get second chances at life. I would have bargained my own life away in a flash to buy his back.

In the darkness, we moved as part of the night. Skills I'd learned so well that I'd often wondered if they'd ever come out of me. Smooth as a ripple on the river, we crept out of the water and melted into the bushes. It was just going on 1 a.m. An overcast night sky was our ally.

No words. Just our body language. We'd done this before. It was eerie how much this felt like old times. I told Mark to wait and all it took was a tiny nod.

On the ground and slithering forward to do some close-in recon. I was a master slitherer. It was something I'd been told by an instructor during one of the million training camps I went through and I always remembered it because it was the funniest fucking thing that I ever heard during the training hell.

In this instance, my master slithering skills brought me so close to two militiamen on guard duty. I was trying to get a good verification of the map I'd seen of the camp, but this seemed a fortuitous thing that two of these bad guys were within my reach. They didn't have a clue I was so near. I positioned myself to be ready to take at least one of them out.

No sense working up a sweat for nothing, I echoed grimly inside my head. Blackness descended on my soul.

Waiting. So close to them that I thought I could hear them thinking. Two men. Near me. Waiting. One moved away. Waiting. One stayed too long. I had him immobilized and on the ground so fast he never even had a chance to regret his mistake. Coup de grâce to the throat, because it was how I was taught and I never thought twice about just leaving him injured or knocked out. Leaving enemies alive in this kind of situation eventually got you killed. Mark and I got the body stowed under a nearby bush.

Eyes at each other. We were going in together. I went first because that's me. Point guard, that's what Kirk had called me when we'd be playing games like this. Always on point and most of the time it was because I just couldn't wait to get it over with.

Looking behind me and showing him I was going in fast. He'd have to keep up and I knew he would. My eyes swept the situation before me and it still matched up like an ace to the inside man's reports to the TBI. When we reached the cabin where we figured Terry was, I put my hand on the wall. Wondered if he could feel how near I was.

Mark tapped my shoulder. We had a bogey coming in hot. He'd take him out. I played back up. Bogey came in unaware he was about to die. I wondered, a flicker of a thought: was this how death would come to me? Caught unaware? Shook the thought off as I watched Mark take the bogey's chin and shove it hard up, cutting off use of the voice to warn anyone else. Blade flicked out from within Mark's black glove and met its mark in a gash along the neck. I blinked then saw red was coming down the side of the neck. We got rid of another body and I didn't care. Mark reverting to age-old skills that he would never have used if he were here officially as an FBI agent.

Before Mark even finished covering the body, I was on the move. Traced the bogey's planned steps to the cabin's front door. Lock pick was in my hands before I was up the step. Lock opened to me so fast that even I was impressed. Eyes at Mark and then inside. Pressed against the wall until I could assess what was inside.

Terry. My heart lurched so hard I almost bent over. On a cot, stuffed against the far corner; his wrists in handcuffs that were looped through a ring on the wall at his side. Turned away from me and not moving. At all.

Terry. My guts were feeling very bad. I reached the side of the cot. He was still not moving.

"Terry." Whispering against his ear. No reaction. Picking the lock on the handcuffs and releasing his wrists. Turning him toward me. 

Whimper. Soft. Pained. I ran my hand along his cheek, my eyes not missing the damage to his face but willing myself not to react to it. Bruising and puffiness. Dried blood along his mouth.

"Baby, can you hear me?" Whispering a bit louder, still at his ear, finishing with a kiss on his neck. Shaking him slightly. "Baby? Please. Come back to me. Terry, please."

Mark's mouth at my ear. "Drugs?"

Shaking my head. I didn't have a fucking clue. Penlight out and flicking it in his eyes as I opened each lid gently. The blacks of his eyes were too small. Drugged. We're fucked, I thought.

I'd been so certain that we'd get Terry loose and there'd be three of us field agents out there fucking up these people's plans that night. But now? Now we had a big problem. We were going to have to carry him out.

Watched Mark's fist grind hard against Terry's sternum; Terry groaned before I could put a hand over his mouth. His eyes fluttered open and I could tell he wasn't focusing. "I'm here with you, baby. We're gonna get you out. You just try to stay awake so you can help us. Okay?"

He squeezed my hand and I felt like doing a cartwheel. Funny how low your reasons for celebration can drop in these kinds of circumstances.

"Let's get on with it," Mark whispered to me. He shoved me aside, reached down and dragged Terry up over his shoulders. Dead man carry.

I went out first and looked back to motion him out. When Mark was out with Terry, I stepped back and clicked the padlock back in place on the door to hide our presence a bit longer. We walked into the woods a short way and tucked Terry in under a bush. It took every fiber of control in my body to leave him there.

But we had to. We had two other people to grab. Round that building. Seeing into the dark. No one detected. In my head, I counted, two bad guys down. At least five more to go on that shift. But we wouldn't take them down unless they got in our way.

It was a repeat of getting into Terry's cabin. Good news was that Maria was on her feet waiting on me before I made it across the cabin to unlock her handcuffs. Quickest hug on record and then I was undoing Rachel's cuffs. Fingers on my lips to signal no talking. Mark waiting along the wall near the door. Fast recon out the partially open door and then pushing them outside to follow Mark as I stopped to relock their door. We raced to where we'd left Terry.

He moaned as Mark drug him back over his shoulders and I had to turn away from the sound. And then we were on the move. Circling back around to where we'd come up from the stream. I helped Mark place Terry into the water and we swam across the little river with him between us. On the other shore, we pulled him up out of the water and paused to catch our breath.

The water seemed to bring Terry around more. He was groaning and I couldn't tell if it was pain from his injuries or if he was simply fighting hard against the drugs.

This time, when Mark went to hoist him back atop his shoulders, Terry struggled to help us get him to his feet. His eyes opened as Mark straightened and adjusted his load. I was pretty sure Terry's eyes were focusing and I stepped in close to his face, grabbing his hanging hand and squeezing. His lips moved and he was mumbling.

I couldn't take more. It was harder than I could have ever imagined to watch him - helpless, in pain, and struggling. I dropped swiftly back into the point guard position, leading our little party surely through the woods, up and over the small hill that hid our getaway vehicle on the other side.

I was already feeling the roar of frustration in my head. We had the hostages. We'd done what we came for. Terry was hurt but I believed he'd live. Maria and Rachel were safe. But this was still all wrong.

Mark and I had been so sure we'd have Terry to help us create some havoc. We'd planned to have Mark get Maria and Rachel safely to the car. Terry and I would have then been free to capture Hullett asleep in his little cabin if he was there, which we felt pretty certain he was. Haul his ass back with us so he could stand trial.

But, now ... I just knew what was going to happen now. Back in that camp, the militia would soon discover the hostages were gone and they'd take off like rabbits. It sunk in deep within my wounded psyche. They'd be gone long before the TBI's planned raid. There would be no justice. And I had no revenge on the Hullett clan for the things they had done to me. Hullett would still be a threat to me and mine. He was that kind of person. Revenge and self-preservation were coming to the fore now that Terry and Maria were safe. 

By the time we reached the car, I had already made a decision. I prodded Maria into the back seat of Mark's SUV. Then shoved Rachel into the front passenger seat. Mark slung Terry off his back and lowered him to the ground next to the SUV. I looked in Mark's direction as he started opening the car door to get Terry in the back seat.  In a calm, quiet voice, I said, "I'm going back."

"Get your ass in the car, Lisa. There will be no vigilante actions, not with my career hanging by a hair," Mark ground out to me between thin lips.

"Get Terry to the hospital. And get the fuck off my back. I deserve this." Voice at a whisper only because it was all I'd give to the effort to talk to him.

"Terry's alive, Lisa. That's what counts."

Dark eyes at him. "That right? That's what counts, Mark? You asshole. Hullett took him on purpose. And I'm not leaving him alive to come after us again."

"Lie to yourself all you want, Lisa. I know the truth. You want revenge," Mark replied.

Damned straight.

"Lisa." I heard Terry's voice. One word. My name. Croaking out of his mouth. Just above a whisper.

Looking down, I saw him shoving himself up into a sitting position against the car. I dropped to my knees in front of him and he raised his head toward me. Into his grimacing face, I smiled even if it was a pitiful smile and whispered, "Hey, baby."

"Lisa." Like it was all he could say. I cupped his good cheek in my hand and our eyes met. "Don't do it."

Tears were dripping from my eyes. Slow. Not many, but they were there. I reached my arms around him and gathered him to me. Bent down over his head and held him as I felt one of his arms glide around my waist. The tiniest sob, so small it almost didn't exist, escaped from me even as I fought to lie to myself that I was strong enough to deal with what needed to be dealt with. "I thought I was going to lose you, Terry."

I felt him swallow. "Don't go back after Hullett. Please."

My hands trembled against him. I shut my eyes tight and tried to gain some control. Tried to be the strong woman he needed me to be. "He has to pay."

"Baby." His hand patted me on my back. That gesture was so Terry - he was hurt and he was still trying to comfort me. "Stay with me, Lisa. I need you."

It was such a pure reaction to him. One feel of him, one realization of him. How could I have left at that point? Even believing that the biggest reason I wanted to go after Hullet was that I wanted to rid the world of the genes that seemed to build men who intersected my life to take those I loved away from me.

"Help me get him in the car," Mark said to me, his mouth right near my ear. "Let's get these guys out of here."

Terry tried with all his might to stand on his own but it still took both Mark and I to get him up and into the back seat. I laid his head down on the seat and Maria pulled his legs over her lap.

Just as he got in the driver's seat, I heard Mark punching numbers in his cell. His quiet voice was telling Jason that I'd just called him to say I had the hostages and that if they wanted to make any arrests, then they'd better get to the camp quickly. The last lie to Jason was that Mark was meeting me at the hospital so that he could read me the riot act for blowing their case.

Settling onto the floorboard in front of Terry, I slipped one hand in his and ran the other one through his hair. Holding on to him as Mark rumbled through the night. Listening to Terry trying not to groan and that's how I knew he was injured, that it wasn't just the drugs affecting him. I leaned in and kissed his lips, feather soft.

"Hey, baby. How are you holding up?" I asked him.

He cranked open an eye and regarded me. Grimace on his face. "Just fan-fucking-tastic," he gritted out. "Never better."

It made me laugh. "See? This is what I like about you, Thorne. You cannot tell me a lie to save your life."

"I'd like to see you come down here and tell me that. I'd kick your ass, woman," he whispered in that croaky voice of pain.

"Yeah, yeah. You're all talk." Stroking his back and worrying about him. Turning serious on him. "Tell me where you're hurt, Terry."

"It's not as bad as it looks," he lied in a tired voice.

But I let him get away with it unchallenged because he wasn't bleeding, I didn't see any obviously broken bones, he didn't seem too shocky, and there wasn't a whole lot I'd be able to do about anything else. Mark took us directly into University Hospital, which he said had the best trauma unit.

Mark's badge got us immediate service and within a half hour, the doctor let me go back to where Terry was laying on a gurney in a curtained alcove. He had a line running in him and somehow they'd gotten him into a hospital gown. A groggy smile flashed on his face when he saw me, and he held up the fingers of one hand. I snaked my hand in his and he gripped it hard.

"Mmm-hmm. Mr. Macho," I grumbled at him and ruffled his hair. Bent over him and kissed his forehead slowly, holding my lips on his skin for long moments and simply absorbing the welcome relief I felt to be touching his warmth. "Not as bad as it looks? Two broken ribs, bruised kidney and ... They beat the crap out of you, those bastards. Just how bad did you think you were looking tonight?"

But he was asleep. A combination of the new pain killers and the drug Hullett had given him, and maybe the comfort of having me with him, had helped him give in to the rest he needed.

I stood there looking down at him. Then looked around me. We were alone inside the cubicle. Around us were reminders of the fragility of life. I looked back down at him and was suddenly overwhelmed with the fact that I'd come damned close to losing him. I lowered the bed rail, draped my arm across his shoulders and cried all the tears that needed to be coming out of me. My head was tucked securely in that crook between his neck and shoulder.

"Terry Thorne, don't you ever scare me like this again," I whispered to him, hoping he was understanding me somewhere inside his drugged out brain. "I'll do anything for you. Just promise me I'll never lose you."

Dino found us like that. I felt his warm hand on my back and he held me for a long time. When they moved Terry into a room for the night, Dino made me stretch out on the other bed in the two-person room and he made do with a chair.

Drugs kept Terry knocked out pretty effectively that night but in the morning, they started giving him milder painkillers because they wanted him up and walking. By mid morning, the nursing staff was begging his doctor to release him. I asked Dino to go to the Shapiro estate and pack our things for us because I knew when he was discharged, we'd be leaving Nashville. I wanted a lot of distance between me and the bad memories this state held for me. Dave was already working his magic in official channels to make sure there were no repercussions for what I'd done the night before. He had also already agreed to have a plane come pick us up because I didn't think Terry could make it on a commercial airliner.

When the orders for his discharge came through, there was no convincing Terry to take it slow. He wanted out; he was perhaps the only person I'd ever known who hated being ill or injured more than I did. He shooed away the nurse who offered to help him get dressed. "I'm perfectly capable of pulling on my own pants, mate," he'd growled out to her.

But his broken ribs made the maneuvering incredibly painful and he finally consented to letting me lend him a hand. He was sitting on the side of the bed, his face almost white by the time I was buttoning his shirt up.

I was standing in between his legs, concentrating on the buttons because I would never in my life get used to seeing him in pain and it kept making me want to cry. Unexpectantly, I felt a big hand massaging my ass. My eyes shot around to find out it was his hand. I looked into his eyes and saw him concentrating on me. He gave me this brief grin. I almost giggled. "You're incorrigible," I whispered.

"Thought you deserved a reward, love," he replied. He leaned toward me and his mouth gentled at the underside of my jaw.

We heard a throat clear in the doorway. "Thorne, you horny bastard," our favorite redhead thundered into the room. "You must be feeling better if you're up to groping your nurse already."

"Fuck you," Terry grunted.

"And fuck you harder," Dino replied evenly. They smirked at each other.

"Oh, man. You two are gonna be so much fun to travel with like this," I teased them.

"Now, Lisa, the old man's going to be out of commission for a while and you may need someone to tide you over. So, you better be a whole lot nicer to me than that," the redhead replied, his brows waggling over mischievous blue eyes.

"Dino, to quote my husband, 'fuck you.'"

"That's the plan, sweetheart."

I groaned at him and reached back to smack him. My eyes caught movement in the doorway and I found myself meeting Mark's eyes. "Am I interrupting?" he asked, in that cultured voice and I figured he was feeling awkward.

He was there to give us the news on the official raid, a joint project of the FBI, ATF and TBI. Everyone but Hullett and the fiancé. My blood turned to ice.

"Where are the Shapiros?" I asked him softly.

"We've had them in a safe house since this morning," Mark replied. 

But my brain was racing ahead. "I know where he is."

All eyes on me now. Terry already knowing what I was concocting and trying to put a stop to it. "You're not getting involved in the take-down, Lisa," he told me, quietly but there was no mistaking the steel behind his words.

My eyes narrowed on Mark. "You want him? I want in on the arrest."

Terry touched my arm and when I turned to him, his eyes were soft on me. "Lisa."

"I have to do this, Terry. Tell me you understand."

"I understand." Nodding at me, then shaking his head. Soft voice to tell me, "I'm asking you not to go because I just can't face you putting yourself in danger again, not right now. But I already know you're going. Just tell me one thing before you go, baby. Tell me you love me enough to stay."

His eyes were doing things to me. They were binding me in place, compelling me to remain immobile. His voice was like this leash that kept me bound to his side. His hand on me sent a sense of warmth chasing through my veins, melting the ice.

I closed my eyes and knew, in my heart, that I was choosing him over me.

"Hullett's bound to be on his way to his dad's prison. It's what he wanted all along. He's got to realize he's out of chances so he'll just go for it. He won't be expecting anyone to be there but that's where he's heading. He's wanted to get his dad out. That's what this was all about," I told Mark in a quiet voice.

I took a step and moved in against Terry, sliding my arms around him and holding him gently. His arms gripped me around the waist. "I love you enough to stay," I whispered in his ear.

Somewhere in the void away from us, I heard Mark and Dino leave the room. I stood and held Terry for so long. In my mind, I knew I was telling myself lies. I was staying there for Terry, but I was staying there more for me. Because everything I truly liked about me was there in my arms and I already knew I was changing. My entire perspective on what was important in my life had changed in the space of hours of coming so close to losing the only person I wanted to live for anymore.

A noise at the door that I barely responded to. But Terry's husky voice said, "What can we do for you, mate?"

A male voice behind me that sounded so tentative. "Your friend said he was getting the car. I'll wheel you out."

The orderly pulled the wheelchair in close to where we were. Terry cursed at the indignity of having to ride in the chair and I suppressed a chuckle. When he was settled in the chair he gave me a dark glare and grabbed his overnight case from my hands, holding it across his lap and trying to look imperious.

Down the hall, I trailed behind the orderly pushing the wheelchair. It was a good thing the orderly was escorting us, I thought, because I would have never found my way through the maze of this big old hospital. Inside the elevator, I reached down and took Terry's hand in mine. Ignored the scowl and thought about how glad I was going to be to getting the Hell out of Nashville.

The doors opened into the parking garage. No Dino in sight. We stood there awkwardly for a moment. "Are you sure our friend knows where to come?" I asked the orderly.

He shrugged his shoulders, ducked his head and wouldn't meet my eyes from under the brim of his dark baseball cap; then seemed to perk up as the sound of a vehicle approached. A dark blue van headed our way. I only caught a glimpse; my mind was not in the present.

"Well, lookie here. Here comes your ride," the orderly said in a different voice and I felt Terry's hand grip mine hard.

Still not in the present, I was in the future and out of Nashville, so I wasn't in the least paying any real mind to my surroundings. The van neared. Terry tried to get up, then grunted loudly in real pain when the orderly's hands on his shoulders shoved him hard back into the wheelchair. My attention was diverted. Then I looked around at where we were and something pricked up my spine. Looked harder at the van and reached in my waistband but I'd forgotten that I'd put my gun in Terry's overnight bag to keep it safe.

Too late, I had recognized the driver. The fiancé, Richard Wellington, was behind the wheel. And that meant ... only then did my mind get it. Neither of us had given the orderly much more than a casual glance and most of his face had been obscured by the baseball cap's bill. But ... his voice. Terry had recognized the orderly's changed voice and that was why he'd suddenly gripped my hand. Trying to warn me and I hadn't understood.

I turned to face the orderly. Hullett. Here. Not at the prison. More interested in revenge than I'd given him credit for. He was smiling at me and the gun in his hand was steady. Something inside me went into motion. The old me came sliding in, smooth as silk and sure as death. The part that knew a gun in a lesser-trained hand didn't really mean insurmountable odds against someone who had other ways of killing at her disposal.

My eyes dropped down and glanced at Terry. We read each other instantly. He knew I was okay with this and that I was calm. And I knew he was planning steps ahead and just needed me to distract Hullett so he could do something. I made my voice shaky and sent a little tremble into one hand as I reached toward Terry. Eyes sweeping up to Hullett, saying, "Please. It's me you want. Let him go."

The smile the bastard gave me was so sweet and I knew he was seeing the scene in front of him: the child of his father's greatest enemy at his mercy and she was weak with fear for her injured husband. "Well, now, isn't that sweet. But I want both of you, Lisa. I want you to see me execute him and then it'll be your turn."

He didn't know me well enough to be more cautious and so it was easy to walk around the wheelchair and put myself between Terry and Hullett.  Holding my hands up about shoulder high, my eyes doing the pleading look, my breathing shallow, the flush in my cheeks ... body language he was reading wrong. And he let his guard down.

His gun wobbled and he giggled at me. Slapped his knee and chortled to the fiancé, who had opened the van's sliding door and was now was watching nervously out the front windows to see if anyone was coming. "Look at this, would ya? You're both pathetic. Now, go on and get in the van so we can get a move on."

Then it was just one of those things. Slow motion; things happening too fast and your mind slows it down so you can absorb it. 

I felt Terry's warm hand on my hip and then felt the cold of my gun rub against my back. Stood stock-still to give him cover to bring the gun into position so he could aim it without Hullett seeing it. Felt the recoil before I heard the shot. Felt the heat of the barrel just as I watched blood spurt in front of me. Heard Terry's injured groan come out hard an instant after the body in front of me jerked back only to thud heavily onto the cement floor of the parking garage.

And then I was slamming the sliding door of the van shut just in case the fiancé had a gun. Taking the gun from Terry's shaking hand and forcing myself to ignore the agony in his face and the way he was bent over holding his broken ribs. Knowing the gun's recoil had been absorbed agonizingly inside his still fragile body.

Spotting the fiancé in the outside mirror of the van as he scrambled into the driver's seat and seeing the look on his face. And then popping the gun in front of me and pulling even with the passenger side window. Aiming at his head and yelling at him in my best cop-voice, "Out of the van, fucker. Keep your hands where I can see them, although I'd so love a reason to shoot your sorry ass."

Moving to the front of the van and watching him getting out of his door. Hands up high and pleading with me not to shoot him. Motioning him to come around the van. Marching him toward where his buddy's body was lying in a widening pool of blood. Shoving his legs out from under him and he kissed the cement with a satisfying smack.

The fiancé's whimpering sounds masked Terry's light groans. Gun on the fiancé and a hand cupping Terry's face. "Baby? You gonna make it?"

Terry gritting out at me: "Fuck. I need a drink."

Cell phone in my hand as I tried hard not to smile at Terry in full macho form. "Mark? We need you back at the hospital. Eighth floor of the parking garage. And, call the local cops, okay?"

Next call was to Dino, who was sitting patiently at the front of the hospital waiting on us and flirting with a nurse. He made it to where we were before any law enforcement.

It wasn't until Dino was there, until a security guard had called a doctor to the scene, until Terry's pain was being tended to ... that was the first time I really looked at the scene.

Before me, around me, near me. My life shifting on the sands that were my not-very-solid foundation. The fragility of my life's roots. The fragility of the lies I'd built myself on. I was not the person I thought I was. In the end, when it really mattered, I wasn't so much my father as I was my mother. My father's skills, my mother's soul.

Here's what I saw: revenge was red, spreading ungratefully around the body of a man I no longer had the will to hate; love was blue-green, swimming deep in the eyes of the man I lived for; harmony was white, the absence of noise I no longer heard rumbling in my head; memory was clear, no longer burdening me but bringing me solace; friendship was blue, reflecting back at me from the eyes of the redhead who had always been in my corner; regret was brown, a cold look at the back of the head of a former lover who'd never been much more than a life lesson; hope was yellow, the vision in my mind of the warmth of the sun on my face.

Epilogue

"You have to be the most stubborn man I've ever known," I whispered to him, saying it like it was an inside joke between us. There was no way to miss that the grimace on his face was one of pain, not pleasure. But the sorry bastard would never admit it. Even to himself.

"Jesus Christ, woman. Will you fucking give it a rest. I know what I'm doing," Terry grunted back to me. 

"Just let me ..." I said, finally exasperated and trying to move but not cause him more pain than he'd already caused himself.

"No. Goddamn it all to fucking hell. If you'd just cooperate ..."

Cooperate? No woman on earth could have cooperated more than I was. What was it he wanted me to do? I watched his face. Bathed in sweat, concentrating but not on me, angry but not at me. I closed my eyes and willed my body to simply relax. Word play was always my tool to take me away.

Breathe in, breathe out. Take a deep breath. Breathless. A breath of air. With bated breath and whispering humbleness. And each heart is whispering - home, home at last. Home is where the heart is. My heart, my love.

"Lisa ..." he breathed out to me. My eyes flipped open to find a troubled sea reflecting before me. "Help me, love. Please."

Tears in his eyes and it broke my heart. Smiling softly, trying to seduce him already. Knowing what he needed when even he didn't yet. Husky voice to tell him, "My God, the things your voice does to me, my love. Let me have you? Please?"

His shoulders sagged and he just looked into my eyes, like he was lost and so far from home. Easing him off me, helping him but not so much that he'd fight me. Finally, when I had him sitting on the side of the bed, I stood before him and cuddled into the protective space between his legs, feeling his hands caress down my thighs. I cooed into his ear, muttering nothing of real sense, just giving him time to think about what I could do for him. My fingers swept feather-light along his jaw, enjoying the slight roughness of the scruffy beard he was letting grow just because I'd asked him to do it.

"You are the sexiest thing I've ever seen," I gritted out to him, dropping to my knees, letting my hands trace the curves of his chest. Eyes glancing up into his, injecting a bit of playfulness and trying to remove his seriousness over this whole sorry episode. His latest attempt to make love to me even though his broken ribs weren't healed enough to allow him to enjoy the vigorous movement he wanted to be engaging in with me.

"Lisa, love, you do understand, don't you?" he asked me. 

I paused and examined his stormy eyes. Nodding my head. "I do, sweetie, I do. But I don't get any enjoyment out of seeing you in pain like that. I'd much rather you let me make love to you and then when your ribs are healed, you can ..."

"No, that's just it. I want to start trying to make a baby now. Today. It's already been an entire month. I'm fucking sick of waiting."

"I know. But I do have an idea. Are you ready to listen to it?" When he nodded slowly, I purred out to him, "Good boy."

I took his hand and led him outside. We'd only come to this villa the day before. I had called Maria and asked her to help me find a place like this. Secluded. And with another attribute. The one I was taking him to as we crossed the tiled space just outside the master bedroom.

It was the most beautiful pool, with sides of glossy teal interspersed sporadically with specks of burnt rust. I led him down the steps into the buoyancy of the calm waters. Turned to look at him as he followed me and I could see him get it when he got to about waist deep water. A slow, evil smile spread across his face. Turning to face him full on now, leaning back into the water and beginning to swim away from him, my finger beckoning him to follow me into the deep end.

We swam around each other, teasing with the other's body, understanding each other and enjoying the chance just to play again. The first few weeks after we left Nashville had not been much fun for him. We had stayed in Washington two days to debrief with Dave and to make sure Maria was going to be able to be safe again. In London, we'd stayed over a week because I'd wanted Terry to be seen by an orthopedic specialist to be sure nothing else needed to be done to help him heal from the injuries.

When I'd first mentioned taking off for a while, to take that trip we'd promised ourselves when the operation to get Maria back was over, Terry refused to consider it. Too much needed doing since we'd all been gone from the main office for so long. I finally just made the reservations to fly to Rome and told him to meet me at the airport if he wanted to be with me. Then called Dino and ordered him to get Terry to the airport in time for the flight.

By the time the plane landed, Terry had passed from angry to grumpy. By the time we'd driven to Florence, he'd moved to resigned. Less than a week into the trip and he finally talked to me. We'd not stopped talking since. So much to decide, so much to explore, so much to understand. Trying to erase the sins of omission between us. The fragile lies that didn't so much shelter us as keep us from really knowing each other. Trying to come clean with each other and discovering the thrill of falling even more in love.

I promised him. He promised me. We promised ourselves. A saner life. A family life. A future we'd build on more solid foundations. A destiny we deserved.

"Here's what I propose," I said as his arm circled my waist and he drew me up against him in the pool. "Let's start out with me doing necessary any movement. How's that sound?"

No words. Just his mouth nibbling on my neck, devouring my sense of decorum. I shivered uncontrollably in his arms and just before we sunk under the water, I saw him smile at me.

When we came back up for air, I prodded him to the side of the pool, pushing him to a depth where he could stand up and still we could take advantage of the buoyancy of the water. "Put your hands on the edge," I told him and he never even paused. Just the sight of those big paws of his gripping the rounded tiled edges did me in. I glided up against him, feeling his hard cock at my groin. Wrapping my legs around his hips, I pulled him in tight to me, using my hand to guide his hardness into me. Slowly edging him inside me, taking my time to make it comfortable for me.

In me all the way and he couldn't resist a slow grind into me. But his grimace made me put my hands on his ass to stop him. Using the strength of my arms, I began moving him against me. Mimicking the way he liked to thrust. Between my legs and my hands, I was controlling the movement. But he liked it; I could tell by the way his eyes seemed to unfocus and he groaned out loudly in my ear.

"Ah. Fuck, baby. You're brilliant," he mumbled. "God damn. You're so fucking tight."

"Take a breath, sweetie. Let me ..." but my words stopped because he'd dropped one of his hands between our bodies, and the thumb and forefinger of that hand were jerking off my little bundle of nerves. It came at the worst possible moment. Just when I could tell he was nearing climax and now ... I could barely breathe and my head bent backwards into the water. "Oh, Terry ... baby ... ohmyGod."

It took forever to come back from what he'd given me. When I did, I was determined to make him come hard. Intent on him, pulling him in, pushing him out, grunting with the exertion and turned on so high by the sight of his face reacting to me. He gave this painful yelp as he just couldn't control the need to make a hard thrust into me and then he was coming in deep, invigorating spasms inside me. My body joined in with his and I came like a bolt of pure electricity had been sparked across my body.

The water held us up and I kept my legs around his hips, floating in a haze. Feeling the sun's warmth in a yellow force field around us.

"Well, now. That was pretty nice," he panted out to me.

"Mmm. What will it take to move it from 'pretty nice' to 'fantastic'?" I mumbled.

We both chuckled and slid apart. Floating on my back, I just enjoyed the way it had felt to be joined with him again that way. Since he'd been injured, the only really painless sex we'd been able to have was when he'd let me take him in my mouth. At first, he'd loved it, joking with me that he could get used to never having to do any of the work. But I knew Terry well enough to know that he was never satisfied with not joining in more fully. And in the last five days, he'd grown increasingly intent on getting me pregnant while we were in Italy.

It was one of the things we promised each other. No more half-hearted attempts. We were going to go for the kind of life we had decided we wanted. The kind where the family unit was the core of us. When we had children, we both wanted to be raising them. It wouldn't be easy; we knew we would both experience periods where we'd be antsy for the adrenalin rush of the danger we'd courted all our adult lives. We gave ourselves permission to give in to the rush - within reason and only very occasionally. We already knew our favorite redhead wasn't going to be thrilled but that he'd work it out with us.

I closed my eyes and let the yellow of the sun's radiating heat blind me. And recognized the peace I'd lied about to myself my whole life. The peace I had always told myself didn't exist. A fragile peace to be sure, but not a lie. It was a peace that came with knowing you were standing on firm ground. Terry's love ... it was my firmest ground, my surest footing, the one thing that I would stake my life on.