Chapter 5

It took two weeks before Barb's nightmares became less powerful. She and Sam were staying with his parents in Virginia. I was able to get down to see her on the weekends but I couldn't spare the weekdays because I caught such hell when I made it back to The Department.

During that time, I was really in the doghouse at work. But I was quickly back to giving the morning briefings so it wouldn't be long. My immediate boss was insisting on hiding my indiscretions from the higher ups and somehow I knew that decision was based more on saving his own ass than saving mine. Sometimes I'm pretty sure I wasn't in worse trouble only because the people I briefed loved my cynical side remarks as much as they appreciated my analysis of the big picture. First time my snide side came blazing out during a briefing, they told me they'd missed me while I'd been gone. They never asked anything about where I'd been because they surmised it might have been a classified operation.

People never asked me many questions outside the specific issues of the briefings. What my team did was supposed to be so below radar, so low profile that no one should have even known we existed. We never could even say our Department's name. It was a strange world we worked in. But the reason we were so invisible was because our work helped guide policy on drug interdiction and covert activities aimed at taking out drug lords in the Caribbean basin.

Okay, it was the drug lord part that was the real reason we were so hidden. Can you imagine if one of those guys ever found out the identities of the people who helped to plot the disruption of their business? 

I was a former DEA field operative. Hating them was in my blood. And I had some damned good reasons to take my mission personally.

But none of that mattered at the moment. I was still trying to keep from being sacked because of the risk I'd put my team at by going to Jamaica alone. On the other hand, time marches on and people, even bosses, have short memories.

Three weeks after I'd started giving the briefings again, a fatal incident in the Dominican Republic meant we had more important things to worry about than exactly how many regulations I and my people had broken.

During all this time, I saw Barb and Sam just as often as I could. My Barb, true to her nature, was coming back to us with a stronger spirit. They were never going to be able to go back to Jamaica but we talked endless hours about other islands that would be safe for them. And Sam's company was busy trying to find him a project to begin on one of those islands.

Sam loved telling Barb about Terry and Dino, about the things they'd done and the type of people they'd been. Her rescuers. The two men who made it possible for us to still have her in our lives. And every time Sam talked about Terry and Dino, I felt a stab of pain. Well, I have to admit, I felt stabs of desire as well.

The way things happened at the end, with such confusion, it made me waste countless hours at night wondering what the hell was in Terry's mind. Granted, we engaged in some sexual activity that might have been only about the heat of the moment, but he certainly hadn't seemed the kind of man to just act like such a... Well, cad. It was the only word I could ever dredge up to describe his actions. And, after all, I didn't think I was kidding myself that there'd been some genuine attraction between us. I'm not normally that delusional.

It would piss me off. Man. It was one thing for him not to have found me in the confusion and say goodbye. But it was a whole other thing to so pointedly refuse to even look at the plane I was in as we took off. And in all the weeks since it had happened, he had found the time to call to check on Barb three times. But he never called me and he never asked them about me.

What pissed me off worst of all? I was fantasizing about him at night. The experience with him, even if it ended frustratingly shy of full completion, had been that good. That promising of a new level of sexual experience. I would wake up from these incredible dreams. Either we were successfully finishing what we'd started in Sam's workshop or we were spending the night together after Barb's rescue. Those were particularly wicked dreams. Of stripping him of his tight black shirt and feeling his chest, taking in the scent of his work as I would kiss his nipples and nibble at his neck. And then proceed to bare the remaining parts of his body, freeing him from those camo pants.

Camouflage pants. God. Who would have thought it possible? They were becoming almost a fetish for me. Good thing my office wasn't at the Pentagon. Although there was this one Army colonel that had come to a few of my briefings since I'd returned and I had to work hard not to imagine him out of those drab dress pants and into something a little more manly. Like camos. Lordy, lordy. When I was fantasizing at work, I knew I needed help.

I tried to talk it over with my Barb one weekend when it was just she and I. But even before I could get the words out, I was blushing and stammering so hard that I knew what was probably really happening was that I'd developed a mad crush on a man who'd never be within reach again. And when I looked at her, smiling at me, I realized I couldn't tell her. How would she have felt to know I'd been about to screw one of the guys coming to get her in the hours before the rescue? Wouldn't she have been wondering what kind of a friend gets caught up in a sexual frenzy while her best friend is in mortal danger?

And then there was Dave. My buddy. My right hand man. He knew something had happened and kept making these little remarks just to catch my reaction. I came into work one day and found a folder on my desk with a complete workup on Terry, Dino and their firm. Complete with pictures. I was sitting there, afraid to even touch Terry's picture but just staring down at it sitting innocently in the opened folder, when Dave walked in. His eyes were better than mine in reading scenes; it took a glance so swift I barely saw it and he knew.

"You want me to find him?" he asked, his voice soft as he dropped into a chair in front of my desk.

"Not a chance." I didn't even meet his eyes. "It was nothing. Honest."

"Right, boss. Tell yourself that," he said as he left. Two days later, he gave me Terry's cell phone number and I told him to knock if off. That's when I began trying to get Terry off my brain and out of my dreams.

And just on the other side of us cleaning up the particular mess in the Dominican Republic, he re-entered my life. 

The way he chose to announce his arrival in Washington spoke volumes about what he now knew about me. 

A mutual friend, the one I'd denied knowing, called me one day to say he needed a favor and was sending an associate to see me at a restaurant he and I had met at before in Georgetown. In the past, it was always either information he needed to give me or information he needed me to find out for him. This time, there was a certain terseness to his voice that seemed different.

I would always respond to this friend's requests with unquestioning loyalty. He'd been my commander back when I'd been in the military and then recruited me to join DEA. My military experience in intelligence work included some, let's say, delicate undercover operations, which is why he recruited me for DEA. He needed a female agent with my 'skill set' as we say in the military for an undercover team operating in some truly lovely hot spots. Yeah, right. I used to give him such a hard time about some of the hell holes I'd get dropped into.

On the other hand, I got pretty comfortable with adopting new identities and sliding in and out of slippery ethical situations. Until I hit the wall. On my second to last assignment, things went out of control for me in a rather odd fashion. It happened in this small coastal community in Trinidad that was being used by a Colombian cartel as a transshipment point for their cocaine bound for the U.S. I was so successful in getting close to a particular drug baron named Carlos Santiago that the line between what I should have been willing to do and what I'd actually do got so blurred, I got trapped in something perverted.

My friend, my old commander, my boss. He'd been the one person who'd never made me feel the least bit bad when I couldn't take the undercover field work any longer. Of course, he might have been the only person who knew the truth about what I'd had to do to complete that assignment in Trinidad. About the line I'd crossed on that one. And on the line that I felt forced to cross in the last assignment but which, in retrospect, was just an over-reaction to the previous mission's problems. He was also the one who suggested me for the position I now held running covert anti-drug operations' analysis in the Caribbean section at State. It was a good fit, since most of my last few years with DEA were spent in undercover operations in that region.

"Top Secret, Eyes-Only" classification to this new post and sometimes I was still surprised at the level of influence I now had in this position where even acknowledging what I did was a violation of my clearance. I was just a frigging analyst, a bureaucrat operating safely behind a desk and never at personal risk any longer. Well, not the kind of risk I'd faced in the field, anyway.

I wasn't sure who I'd find meeting me at the restaurant that evening but it didn't matter. We had a table we always reserved at this joint and I figured I'd get there early. It was an old industry game. But the person I was meeting knew it and he beat me there.

After angling my way into the dimly lit interior, I looked hard at the table and my contact was already there. At first it didn't register and when it did, I nearly turned and left. The recalcitrant Terry Thorne.

But for the sake of the person who had asked me to meet with him, I might have left. Instead, I was standing there, my mind torn between concern over what he might know and concern about what he could be doing in any situation involving my old chief.

The Chief, which was what everyone seemed to call him now, had left DEA two years earlier and had formed a small squad of mostly ex-DEA and ex-covert ops personnel who acted as mercenaries. Firms hired them when the type of security they needed demanded a level of toughness, regimentation and ruthlessness that normal security firms just didn't possess. Most of their overseas work was at least winked at by our government because they made it possible for American firms to work in some mighty dangerous locations. And, besides, they were good and they got some dirty jobs done that meant the U.S. didn't have to get officially involved in touchy situations involving our citizens overseas.

And Washington always loved deniability. 

Terry stood up from the table and motioned me over to him. When I got there, he walked behind me and held out the chair opposite his for me. When I'd settled into place, he went back to his chair. This serious look on his face and without a word, he passed me a piece of folded paper.

Unfolding it, I recognized the writing immediately. 'Trust is a thing earned, and not lightly.' Cracked up laughing because this was so like the Chief. Sometimes I thought he did things like that precisely because I found it so hilarious.

"Once a covert ops guy, always a covert ops guy. You'd think after all these years, he could just send me a note that says, 'He's okay.'" I told Terry. Without a pause, I looked in his eyes and said, "What the hell is going on?"

But instead of answering that question, he reached across the table and took one of my hands in his before drawing it slowly to his lips for a soft kiss. "We have some unfinished business," he told me, looking me dead in the eyes.

"Do we now?" I replied, remembering in a rush but then also remembering he'd not even had the courtesy to look in my direction as I left Jamaica. Took my hand away from him. "You couldn't even be bothered to tell me goodbye. Or ask for my phone number. Or give me yours."

"You're right. But there wasn't a chance I'd ever have come looking for you without you trusting me enough to tell me exactly who you are." I felt like I'd been lightly slapped. And, yet, his deep voice still could reach out and grab me. "But our mutual friend is in trouble. Three members of his team need help. We need help from you to get them back."

My eyes dropped from his and I wondered. Just what did he know? How much did he know? On the other hand, he couldn't know everything.

"I'll get any information I can. It's the least I can do. Tell me what he needs." I looked into his eyes and got ready to memorize the request.

"It's not information he needs."

I felt my heart rate slow and the blood in my body was crawling in my veins. "No. Information only. He already knows that."

Terry shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine. "He needs you there in person, Lisa. It's why he sent me. He said you have a... well, a special relationship with a man named Carlos Santiago who is holding the three men as hostages. You appear to be the key to getting the men back alive."

No way. There could be no way. I got up and walked out of the restaurant. Actually, I almost ran. So fast away and I figured he'd be too surprised to give chase immediately. Outside on the street, I scanned for a cab, bus or anything I could duck into. Telltale flash of yellow and I was standing in the street to flag it down. Inside quick but not quickly enough. Didn't even get the door closed behind me when Terry was following me in.

Now, here's where I made my worst mistake. I could have done several things to keep him out of the taxi, but chose not to because any of them would have physically hurt him. When exactly did that weakness come into me? Obviously a remnant of what had happened between us in Jamaica. Probably why he was sent because the Chief knew what I'd be willing to do to not be pulled into the particular situation he wanted to involve me in.

His strong hand on my wrist kept me from sliding out the other door but even that little maneuver was simple to thwart if I'd wanted to. I really thought I could talk my way out of this. Mistake on top of mistake.

"Not gonna happen, Terry," I said under my breath. "You might as well give it up now. I'm never going back there and he damned well knows it."

"He wouldn't insist if it wasn't absolutely necessary." His voice. Something tickled in the back of my mind and it took too long for me to understand why it pricked at me instantly. It was absolutely normal. Which was all wrong. You don't talk normally about these things when someone else is within earshot. You keep it low so no one but the intended target hears.

And when the suspicion flared, I glanced quickly up to the cabbie. Flash of red hair under the cap and blue eyes reflecting back at me in the rear view mirror. "No. You guys cannot do this to me."

My stomach lurched as Dino gunned the taxi and we sped off into traffic.

"Lisa, I need you to listen carefully. You must come with us. These men will die if you do not help us." Terry was talking to me, his calm professional voice I once admired. But in that moment, I just wanted to punch him and get away. But I'd let feelings for him place me in too vulnerable a position.

"I'm never coming with you. Ever. I will never go back to Trinidad." My words came out slow but with such determination that I knew he realized I was deadly serious.

"We're prepared to force the issue." He looked at me and I couldn't for the life of me see anything other than the deadly SAS man he once was.

"I'm a government official, Terry. And Dino," I tossed toward the front seat, watching as his steady eyes came back to me. "Touch me and my people will never let you leave the country. Now let me out of this car and I'll forget you were even here."

My eyes came back to Terry and we stared at each other for a second. It distracted me and he was able to use that distraction to seal my fate.

"Sorry, Lisa." I felt the prick of the needle going in my arm but didn't have time to stop it. "I wish we didn't have to do it this way. But we just can't take the time to convince you."

I felt myself floating away from him and my mouth was trying to plead with him not to do this to me. But I have no idea if the words actually came out before I was gone.

Chapter 6

Drugs always work quickly on me. I've been told it's because I use so few on a regular basis that my body almost overreacts to the power of a foreign substance. I harbor another reason and it has to do with being the child of an alcoholic. No matter. When I'd worked in the field, I'd learned that whenever something knocked me out, I had to control the re-entry to consciousness. In other words, I learned long ago how to pretend to still be unconscious when, in fact, I was anything but unaware.

I knew they'd injected something strong into me because as I fought my way up through the haze, the effort made me sweat. That alone should have been a tell-tale sign to them, but for some reason, the apparently novice operative they'd left to guard me never noticed.

A plane. When I could feel, I knew I was on a plane and that we were over water. The seat beneath me was a sling and instantly I also knew it had to be a military transport plane. This was getting weirder by the minute. Drugged, kidnapped and flying. How could they think they'd get away with this? Surely my people were looking for me even now. And my old chief had to know I'd never cooperate with what I feared he wanted me to do. And it was fear. Absolute. Unequivocal. A nightmare I'd do anything to keep from coming true.

Breath on my face and light fingers touching me on my chest above where I knew someone had unbuttoned the top two buttons on my shirt. Trying hard to give Terry and Dino the benefit of the doubt that this was done to help me breathe while I was still unconscious. That it wasn't done just so whoever this was next to me could feel me up, which he was apparently about to.

Mental inventory time. Everything checked out. Wiggled my toes in my shoes and it was obvious my muscles were working again. But I could also feel the restraints on my body. Shit.

Voices somewhere away from where I sat being touched by someone far too close to me. Listened harder for other people breathing nearby. Too distracted by whoever this was taking advantage of my apparent coma. Because his fingers were sliding down under the now-open neck of my shirt, inching their way toward my breasts.

When he leaned in closer and I felt his face come way too close to my chin, I assumed the pervert was checking me out and getting ready to reach lower still. Past time to teach whoever this was a lesson.

I slid my eyes open, fluttering them and taking in a stuttering breath. Like Scarlet O'Hara was not quite coming to, still druggy and helpless. And looked into startled and slightly guilty eyes. A boy. I wondered how many weeks ago he'd had his first shave. Baby, I was thinking, you're all mine.

He sat up from me and before he could say anything to anyone else, I whispered low, like I was hoarse from the drugs. "What's happened? Where am I?" Making my voice quiver with fake fear. Watched with pleasure as his eyes calmed and he smiled at me.

"It's all right. You're safe. Let me just get...," he said.

"No. Please. Don't leave me alone. Please stay with me. I'm, um, I'm just..." Looked into those baby eyes and opened mine wide. And looked with fake alarm at the restraints binding my arms. And then back up at the man-child. "These aren't really necessary are they?"

He looked at me. I knew what he was seeing. A woman. Too small to do any harm and still just a bit loopy from the drugs. And who knows, he was thinking, maybe I'll get lucky later. I read that thought in his eyes and in his shit-eating grin. I smiled this timid smile into his eyes, hoping I was making him feel like a big manly man.

Watched him look around covertly and knew I had him.

"Well, there's nowhere you're going on this plane anyway." In minutes, my bindings were history and I was taking every chance he gave me to look around without him realizing it.

"What's your name?" I whispered, smiling as I rubbed my wrists like my poor little body had been so abused. Stuck out a hand toward him, like I wanted to shake. And the trap was shut when he just couldn't resist automatically responding by putting out his own hand.

My other hand snaked out to grab his and bend it back at the wrist. Fast enough that he didn't see it coming. I made an immediate move so I was almost on top of him and pressed the thumb of my other hand right where it needed to be on his throat. He was immobilized between the two actions. I looked in his wide-open eyes and knew he didn't know if he'd stop breathing first or if his wrist would be broken first. Pervert deserved this. And more.

"You have one choice," I whispered to the young face in front of me as I glanced up quickly and could see no one in the darkened interior near us. "I will kill you if you so much as breathe heavily. Understand?"

He blinked and I eased up my thumb from his neck just a fraction.

"Do you have a gun?" His eyes shut and I knew he did. "Take it out with your free hand. Go slow and give it to me. Do it."

"Lisa." A voice behind me and I started cursing in my head. "Let him go. You won't be able to fight all of us."

It took a lot for me to let the guy go. I so wanted someone to punish for what was happening to me. But I did let him go. And then turned to meet Terry's eyes. "You fucking bastard."

The man-child next to me thought I was too distracted to see him, thinking he'd be able to smack me for what I'd done to him. My arm blocked his in a reflex I didn't even know I still had. But at the exact same moment, the red-haired co-kidnapper reached in and dragged him away from me. Then pushed him hard in the chest with his hands, saying, "I fucking told you to watch her. What part of that was so hard?"

I was in a staring contest with Terry. Wanting so badly to do something nasty to him.

"If this is her rusty, I'd hate to have seen her back then," I heard Dino say and I looked up with such hatred in my eyes that he took a step back. "Whoa. Okay. Think I'll just leave her to you, old buddy."

The big transport plane was cold and noisy. I'd always hated traveling in these contraptions. They brought back not real pleasant memories of my military days. I felt myself start shivering and willed my body to stop. But instead of cooperating, it just got worse and soon my teeth were chattering. The drug. I knew my body was reacting to the dissipating dregs and fighting to get back its equilibrium.

Terry came to sit next to me and handed me a blanket. Wool. God, I hated the military, I thought. I tossed the blanket back in his direction and rose, if a bit unsteadily, to my feet. Looked around and there were six other men in there. Curiously, they were doing their dead-level best not to look in my direction.

"Are you in any mood to listen to what I have to say?" he asked me, his deep voice reaching out for me. "It's not anywhere near as bad as you think, Lisa."

I turned my head and looked in his eyes. The look of calm on his face infuriated me. "Not anywhere near as bad? Oh, Christ. He must be lying to you, Terry. It's a whole lot worse than you know. He intends to feed me to that madman. He's always had this wild idea that I could get Santiago to do anything I wanted. It used to fascinate him."

"I promise you that..."

Laughed so hard that I think it was verging pretty close to some form of hysteria. I felt his arm on me and he was pushing me back into the cargo hold, that cavernous space looming just behind the jump seat passenger area where we were. As he was moving me ahead of him, I turned over my shoulder, saying, "You can't fucking promise me anything when it comes to a pissing match between the Chief and Carlos. You haven't a clue. He wants those men back and the fact that he'd betray me this way tells me just how loud the situation is."

Suddenly, Terry stopped our forward progress and shoved me sideways into a small open area between tall, netted pallets of cargo. I looked around and realized he wanted privacy for whatever little bitching session he was about to undertake. His eyes narrowed as he stood right up next to me so I could hear him in this pit of vibrations and noise. His voice was hard. "I promise you that I will not let anything happen to you. I would never have agreed to take you like this if I didn't know I could keep you safe. You won't be going anywhere near Santiago by yourself. I'll be with you every step of the way."

I felt the fear chase away my anger. "Terry, Carlos will never..." I looked away from him. "How did the Chief get you and Dino to do this? It's certainly not your style to kidnap government officials and deliver them to madmen as ransom."

"We owe him. A lot. That's all I can say. And we're not delivering you to anyone."

"Well, you better owe him your life, because I think that's what you're about ready to give up."

We were so close and yet it was like we were on different planets. Then like the hot breath of intrigue, I was suddenly so aware of who I was standing right up against. Feeling parts of his body touching mine and I hated the way seeing him made me feel. Tried not to look at him. To not notice that he was standing there dressed as he had been the last time I'd seen him, the evening the plane had lifted off from Jamaica. Tried to control the way that visual memory stoked other memories.

But it was no use. Not the way I instantly remembered those dreams I'd had for weeks after Jamaica. Of the fantasies I'd had of what might have been if that day had ended differently. How it would have been to have stayed with him rather than flying off the island. To have been able to touch him, to strip away his black t-shirt. Like the one I saw peeking even then from beneath the fatigue jacket he was wearing, not just in my fantasies. And then how easily in those fantasies it had always been to slip my hands down into the camouflage pants and feel him hard in my hands again. 

There I stood. Wavering unsteadily between a sexual fantasy and a nightmare reality. Was it dregs of the drug, insanity, or simple lust?

Jerked my brain into the present and glanced down to be sure I didn't have my fingers on his pants right then. God, I thought, I am fucking losing my mind.

"Do you know why he sent you to do this to me?" I asked him, my voice low even though there was no way anyone could have overheard. The plane was noisy enough; back here in the cavernous cargo area, you had to be as close as we were to hear the conversation.

"We all thought you'd cooperate with me."

"Does he know?" I looked at his face. Even as furious as I was with his betrayal, that part of me that had always been attracted to him was more in control. "Please tell me you didn't tell him we... that we almost..."

"Almost what, Lisa?" His face bent toward mine and I could feel his breath soft on my cheek. "Would you like to finish what we started? We have at least an hour before the plane lands."

My eyes opened wide. Last thing I would have expected from this man was that he'd treat any intimacy between us in such a cavalier fashion. But looking in his eyes and reading his body language, I got suspicious. "What did he tell you about me?"

His mouth was so close to my ear again. "He told me your special talent."

My 'special talent' as the Chief called it? Seduction when needed. Officially, I was never expected to actually follow through. And, he and Terry and Dino are making jokes about it? My knee almost drove Terry into the great beyond. And it would have except that he was anticipating it and dodged me, turning me roughly around and pressing me into a cargo netted stack.

At first, by instinct, I wanted to struggle. But I stopped. Where would I have gone even if I got away from him? There was no escaping this plane. But I was breathing hard from the new emotions flowing through my body.

"And you believed him? You thought I was faking it with you in Jamaica?" I heard my voice crack and felt so aware of how sure I'd always been that at the very least what had happened between us had meant something to him. "God, Terry. I know you don't believe that."

I felt his body lean into mine and then his mouth was at my ear again. There was a definite weariness to his voice, almost a sadness. "I'm not really sure what to believe yet. But, no, I don't believe you were anything but sincere that morning."

Neither of us really moved for a moment. I shut my eyes and tried to see what was happening as if I were observing this from outside my body. Standing face forward into a cargo net on a MAC plane, kidnapped, being taken to be used as human bait or trade for mercenaries, with a man leaning up against my body. And I was getting wet. When - exactly - was it again that I'd lost my mind in this ordeal?

I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at him over my shoulder. Tried to keep his smell out of my nose, but it was too late. Hoped I wasn't feeling what I was afraid I was feeling being pressed against me. Hoping I was. Too mixed up and too emotional to have any hope of making it through this if I didn't get a handle on myself. I prayed it was the drugs messing my mind up.

"Terry." My voice croaked out his name and I would have given quite a bit if he'd just held me.

I felt him move against me and his face came next to mine. "I need you to tell me you'll cooperate with us, Lisa. I promise you, I will protect you. Do you believe me?"

My head nodded. Sheer force of will kept tears from falling.

"Good. If you promise you're not gonna try and kill anyone, I'll let you go." His voice much more relaxed, almost intimate. He released his hold, edged away from me and turned me to face him.

"I don't know what he told you, Terry, but I don't just kill people. Christ." I instinctively rubbed my wrists where he'd held them. Glanced in his eyes and almost instantly started babbling. "This isn't going to work. It's been too long since I've been in the field and I can't do this. I cannot do what he thinks I can. You don't know what I had to do the last time. Just to... to make sure... I am never going to do what he wants."

His arms came around me slowly and it was the first bit of warmth I'd felt since I'd come out of the drug stupor. I haven't a clue how long he held me. I only know that by the time I was really aware again, my blood was flowing warmer in my veins and my panic level was under control.

"Carlos will kill me this time," I said into his shoulder. He leaned away and I repeated it. "He knows I was with DEA the last time we were together, he... He only wants me now so he can have his revenge for what happened... for what happened between us."

"He won't harm you, Lisa. I won't let him," he replied, his voice right at my ear, so intimate in the echoing noise around us. 

At first, I didn't even realize his lips were kissing my cheek. When I did, I turned my face toward him and I registered his glance into my eyes that came a split second before his lips slipped over mine. Starting so slow but feeling more familiar than seemed possible. I'd kissed him far more often in my dreams than in reality. But somehow I recognized the way he sucked first at my top lip, then gently moving to suck my bottom lip between his, before finally pressing in over my entire mouth. And our tongues seemed so well acquainted. Like long-lost friends, they sought comfort in each other.

And I so wanted to be held and to be loved by this man who'd made me dream of him for so long. But something about that kiss made my brain start working again.

I had only one chance to make it through this. I had to get the steel back in me and I had to remember what it had been like to be an operative. To know that even the team that backed me was only that, back up. They wouldn't be on the line with me when the real danger was there. And it was only going to be my instincts that helped me survive. But that I would definitely need at least one friend I knew I could count on, someone I'd be willing to trust with my life.

Terry was going to be my only option for that friend and I had to believe I could trust him that way.

He felt the shift in my body and pulled away. Our eyes met; it was the first time I think he looked in mine and saw what he was seeing just then.

"You'll protect me? You promise?" I asked him, my voice even and hard.

He slowly nodded. "Do you trust me?" Saying it even as he moved back against me, watching me carefully with those steady eyes.

"Yes, I do. The real question is, do you trust me, Terry?" Without conscious thought, my hand moved up to his jaw, letting my fingers drift over the skin there while I was absorbed in watching my thumb trace over his lips. When I realized what I was doing, I stopped and met his eyes.

The only answer he gave me was the only answer that would have ever convinced me that he trusted me. Because I knew he would never have done it if he'd for one split second thought that I was using him or faking anything.

He slowly, deliberately bent toward me. His lips came to mine softly and then he pulled away just a few inches, his eyes drilling into mine. My mouth opened and it reached for his but he paused before coming back to me. Kissing into me, tongue just barely skimming into mine. And just when I was about to tackle him because he was driving me crazy with need, his tongue drove deeper into my mouth, exploring me, making me wonder how I'd ever be able to fantasize again if the reality of him was so much better.

With a soft grunt, he pressed my entire body back hard against the pallet behind me. Oh my sweet Jesus. Let this actually happen, I was thinking, feeling my heart racing. And this time, I knew that what I was feeling being pressed up against my abdomen was exactly what I hoped it was.

His mouth was eager on my neck and all I really could concentrate on was how badly I wanted to complete this. Can you even imagine the frustration of waiting all that time to just see through what we'd started in Jamaica? So can I please, pretty please, be forgiven if I wanted to skip some steps?

"God. I want you in me," I panted out to him. My fingers sweeping under his jacket, skimming over the surface of his t-shirt, my eyes barely focusing as my neck arched back to give him free access to my neck. I had my hands down to his waistband, sneaking around to the front, avid to feel him again in my hands.

"Slow down, baby," he groaned into my ear. Taking my hands with his, moving them firmly away from his body and holding them over my head, against the pallet. Looking down at me, making me realize how totally in control he was.

At that particular moment in time, there was nothing on this earth that could have turned me on more. I was giving this man the power over my life. Giving him power over my body was an easy thing to give up just then.

I'll say it right here and now. I'd never, ever felt or done anything like this on any mission I'd ever been on. Oh, there'd been sex. But never this type of total abandonment of every shred of decorum and professionalism. Not on an operation, for God's sake. I closed my eyes and wondered just when I'd tossed my training, my hard-won training, out the window in exchange for this incredible heat?

My eyes opened and I peered deep into his eyes. Meeting him intensity for intensity. He dropped my hands and reached for my face, dragging me firmly into a searing kiss.

I've always been goal-oriented. So naturally, my hands got him unsnapped and unzipped as their first order of business. And only then was I able to hold what I'd been wanting to. I was stroking him and his mouth left mine as he moaned at me. "You have no idea how much I want you, Terry," I told him, enunciating my words, hoping he'd get it.

"Oh, God. Love, you are driving me crazy here. I wanted this to be good for you, Lisa," he whispered hoarsely to me.

"It's good already, baby. We'll have other times to go slow." And as I felt his hand begin to undo my pants, his warm fingers just barely making contact with my skin, I said, "Please, Terry. Don't you think we've waited long enough for this?"

I helped him get my pants down and off. His were only going so far because I wasn't about ready to take the time we'd need to in order to get his damned boots and other crap off. But those camos were certainly able to go far enough down for our purposes. And then his big hands were under my rear, lifting me back against the pallet, pulling me high enough that he could enter me. I felt his cock at my opening and then he had a hand there, massaging my sex. It was almost too many sensations for my mind to wrap around.

"Oh, Terry, please. Please." Mumbling urgently into him as his mouth sought mine. And then feeling him coming into me hard... slowly, but firmly. Letting my body adjust to his size as he entered. Taking all the time in the world and by the time he was all the way in me, my internal muscles were revving up. As I felt him stretching me beyond where I'd gone before, I was groaning at the reality that once again was far better than the dreams that had given me too many feverish nights. And he began slowly pumping, maneuvering himself perfectly to stroke those spots that made me almost quiver in his strong arms.

I slid my hands under his t-shirt, feeling his abdomen vibrate each time he thrust. And just as I felt myself about to begin coming, my fingers reached his nipples and felt them so stiff to my touch. He hissed out at me as I stroked them roughly, my mind not fully paying attention to what I was doing to him because I was more wrapped up in my own pleasure just then. I let them go and slid my arms around his chest, drawing him that much closer to me.

He kept changing his rhythm so that each time I was close, my body would be snagged back from really coming. At first, it was frustrating. But when I realized what he was doing and that he was allowing me to extend these delicious feelings, I went with him. By the time he really began to thrust in earnest, I started coming immediately. Long, rolling waves rushing out from my clit as I almost yelled but caught myself. About the only caution I showed during this insanity.

Before my orgasm even finished racking through me, I heard him grunting, saying my name, making me feel a rush of affection for him. Then he thrust hard into me, coming in these pulsing spurts that throbbed inside me.

We slowly stopped moving, holding on to each other, letting our breathing settle more into normal. I don't know that I would honestly say it had been worth waiting so many weeks for, but it was an unbelievable experience for me. Can you know what I mean? I'd wanted this, desired this, lusted for this for so long. I just hadn't exactly pictured it happening where, when and how it did. But, let me tell you, no matter what, I needed to be with him then. I felt something in the intimacy of that exchange that allowed me to see the man I'd seen in Jamaica, rather than the person I blamed for taking me into danger. As it turned out, it tightly bound me to the one person who had the ability and will to help me get through the coming ordeal.

"Next time, Love, I swear it. It will be the right way. We'll go slow and really do it right," he was saying, pausing every so often to kiss along my jaw and mouth. I murmured to him, telling him it was so great, until he finally just held me. Minutes raced by before my brain belonged to me instead of only to my body.

"Terry," I said, leaning away from him, watching as his eyes focused on me. "Things are going to be pretty dangerous when we get there. We'll have to be really careful. And this in no way changes the fact that I'm not going to do what the Chief wants me to do."

He took his time answering me. "We're in this together. I told you. We would never have taken you if we weren't prepared to keep you safe. Just promise me you won't do anything on your own, Lisa. Dino and I will not let you down. The Chief does have a plan and I think you'll go along with it once you hear it."

Dropped my eyes and lied to this man. It was the only thing I could do. "Okay. I'll wait to hear the plan."

"Good girl." 

As we straightened our clothing, I leaned in to him, saying, "I need you to trust me on something. We can't let on to anyone that we've... Well, that we're, um..." Blushed. For pity's sake. Looked in his eyes and he was smiling at my discomfort. "I'm serious. It isn't smart for either of us to be anything but professional around other people. Especially the Chief's people."

"Like the little guy you almost did away with tonight?" he asked, his eyes suddenly sparkling with mischief.

"He's one of the Chief's?" When he nodded at me, I shook my head. "Unbelievable. Wait 'til he finds out."

 He peered around the edge of the pallets, down the walkway. When he looked back at me, I saw he'd already dropped back into his professional persona. Making it simple for me to drop my own mask back over my face and escape under its veneer. He leaned toward me but, in my mind, I'd already left him. My body was next. I pushed away from him and walked back to the passenger area. Feeling a strength in me that was there only because I had no other choice.

Chapter 7

The warm breath of the tropics rushed in to greet me even as Dino was prodding me to leave the plane. Which I absolutely did not want to do. But leave it I must and I didn't even trip going down the stairs. And do you want to know the worst part of the whole thing? It was looking around after I touched the ground and realizing that, once again, I was back in the world of men.

What bad thing had I done in a former life to keep finding myself in these types of work situations? Okay, I had entered the military knowing full well that men outnumbered women by a ridiculous percentage. On the other hand, that was one of the reasons it had been attractive. What can I say? I was young and, well, being around a lot of men was a turn on. But when I left DEA, I swear State was such a welcome relief because I actually had other women on my team.

On the other hand, Maria always told me one reason I'd risen as far as I had at a relatively young age was this innate ability I had to get along with men. Big bad men. Tough men. Alpha men. They always liked me, for some reason. And, no, not because they all wanted to screw me. Sheesh. No, I mean they liked me as a person. Okay, well, if a few wanted to also nail me, so what?

I think they liked me because I didn't take their shit and they respected that. But it was also because I was used to them. I liked the way I could be as tough as I wanted or as girly as I felt like being and they responded to my intellect either way. Being in their world had taught me well how to use those girly tricks, the feminine wiles as they say, to my deliberate advantage when they best served my purposes. And it was courtesy of so many of those Alpha men that I learned how to bring in the steel to my body and mind when I needed it.

I cannot begin to describe how fervently I no longer wanted to be in the world of men.

Even in the darkness of the airstrip, I picked him out immediately. And before anyone could stop me, I had walked straight to him and slapped him so hard he bounced back a few steps.

"Kirk, you are a raving lunatic." I was yelling at the Chief as strong hands were wrapped around my upper arms and dragging me backwards. "You won't get away with this. They're gonna be looking for me, you bastard. They will find me."

"Knock it off, Lisa," Terry was telling me, trying to make his voice loud enough to cut through to me but low enough that no one else heard. "This isn't helping."

"Okay, okay. I'll stop." And I did. I hadn't actually planned to do much more than smack Kirk a good one. The bastard. Dragging my ass to the one place on earth he knew I'd never want to be again.

And the fact that it was Terry pulling me off him meant I had to stop. How could he be my friend if I made his life too tough? He released his hold and I turned to look at him. "He deserved that," I muttered under my breath. But I behaved because Terry's face was set in stone.

"I take it she did not do back flips at the idea of accompanying you?" Kirk said as he walked around me, carefully keeping his distance until he could see my face.

"No, she didn't, asshole." I bit back at him, earning me a chuckle while nearly every other man nearby stared at me like I was crazy.

"You've been a desk jockey too long if you can't control your temper any better than that," he said. Coming close. Knowing I wouldn't hit him again. "Perhaps you need some refresher training before coming along on this operation with us, Lisa?"

I refused to be provoked as he smiled at me. Asked him quietly, "You do know he's going to kill me?"

"Don't be so dramatic, Lisa. You're just the bait. He won't get the chance," Kirk told me, giving me a good-natured chuck on my arm.

I noticed Terry and Dino trade quick glances. They really hadn't known that part of his plan.

"Okay. Good work, men. Now the question we face is how do we convince our Lisa to stay and play this game with us? Because I've always been able to read her mind and right now she's figuring out exactly how she's getting away from us and back to the States." He was getting back to all business. Kirk in his full chief mode was impressive. Everyone I'd ever known under his command had always been intensely loyal. Even me.

But I wasn't feeling quite so loyal at the moment. And he was right. On the other hand, it didn't take a genius to figure my mind was focused on getting away from them.

"She's not going to try and get away." Terry's deep, solid voice cut through the bullshit going on around me, making Kirk stop and turn to him, his face set in a frown. "She's given us her word."

I watched Dino nod to back him up and realized they were absolutely a package deal. Because I'd not promised any such thing. But the fact that Dino would instinctively support his partner was good news for me. Maybe I could have two friends.

"And you believed her? What exactly was she doing to you at the time she whispered those sweet words?" Kirk smirked at Terry and then at me. And didn't see Terry's fist come out; quick hard punch to the gut and Kirk was on the tarmac looking really, really unhappy. He glared up at Terry and Dino. "Fine. You trust her, she's your responsibility to watch over."

"Now, boys. No reason to fight over little ol' me," I said, my sarcastic tone drawing three sets of unappreciative male eyes my way. "I'll be a good girl. Tonight."

Kirk was on his feet, walking away from us accompanied by the five men he had brought with him. He stopped and turned back to us, calling out in this bad Aussie accent, "Thorne, if she's not with you in the morning, mate, I'll fucking kill both you and Dino."

Three of the men who'd been on the plane also left with Kirk and his crew. There were now four men with me. I glanced around at them; my pervert buddy from the plane ride was not among them.

"Are these your guys or Kirk's?" I asked softly as Dino walked past me. He turned and smiled at me.

"They're ours. Relax. And, Christ, what is it with you two?" he jerked his head toward the departing Chief. "He said you might not come willingly but that you'd do what he wanted once he had a chance to talk with you."

"There isn't a chance he has a plan I'll cooperate with and he knows that. Any interaction I have with Santiago at this point will end with me dying," I told him, my voice matter-of-fact. He listened to me carefully, his entire body involved just in the act of listening. "Santiago knows I'm DEA. Well, was DEA when I was here last time. His Colombian drug lord was not happy with the, um, the disruption we caused for him. Santiago took what happened personally. And he definitely blames me."

Personally. Blame. Yeah, I was leaving some shit out. Because what had happened between us was just that. Between us. It had been personal. He should have taken in personally. I did. And I'm not talking about what our team was able to do to disrupt his drug business.

"So, Lisa, are you telling me Terry just lied to the Chief? That you're going to try to get away?" he looked at me, twisting his head at this angle that was pure Dino. It was a trait I'd noticed in Jamaica and it always came blazing out when he was on edge.

"No. I'm not going to try to get away. Tonight. But that's all I'll promise."

"Let's go," Terry said, walking past us with barely a glance. I looked around and the four men with me were all carrying bags. I shrugged my shoulders and followed them to a van waiting on the edge of the tarmac.

As I got in, I looked back at the sound of the plane revving up. No U.S. insignia. But it was the military's workhorse - a converted MAC C-130 Hercules - or did this little operation truly involve a covert operation of our military or another agency? Terry caught me looking. "The Chief still has good friends."

He got in the panel seat next to me as Dino slid into the front passenger seat. A man who'd not been on the plane with us was already behind the wheel. The two other men from the plane moved to the seats behind me. I looked over to find Terry handing me a cell phone. It looked suspiciously like mine.

"Call your office. Tell them about your personal emergency that's gonna be keeping you away from the office for a few days," he said to me.

"You must be joking. Terry, they're already looking for me."

"Why would they be looking for you? Wouldn't they wait until you don't show up for work in the morning?" Looking at me with those calm professional eyes.

Fuck. He was right, of course. The only way they'd be looking for me was if something had happened in the intervening hours that had required them getting in touch with me. Otherwise, they wouldn't even know I was gone. I snatched the phone from him and glared at his slight smile.

"And be careful. Remember, I've heard how you talk to your people, so no games, Love."

I could have strangled him. But as my fingers began punching in the numbers, I felt the curious lightness of insider knowledge sweep into me. The phone in Washington was answered by Claudia, one of my most junior staffers.

"It's me. Let me talk to Herman," I barked into the phone. He was the supervisor on that night. He'd better have been on a potty break to be letting her answer this line, I thought to myself. His weasel voice was soon in my ear. Terry suddenly leaned in and pulled the phone into a position where he could listen in. "I've had a family emergency. I just got a call from the hospital and my mother's had a heart attack. I'm leaving right now. I'll check in with Dave in the morning. I'll probably be gone a few days. But I should know more in the morning."

"Um. Okay, boss. Should I call Dave at home?" Even at his best, Herman sounded confused. But the longer you knew him, the more you came to realize it was all an act. He actually had an incredibly sharp, if slightly twisted, mind. And even though he was my weasel, I still cherished his mind and his abilities. He knew instantly something was wrong. He only called me 'boss' when something was out of whack. Dave was the only person I let call me that.

"No. Just leave it in the report so he'll see it first thing." 

"Right, boss. Hope everything goes okay for your mom." He'd be on the phone to Dave the second we hung up. They both knew my parents were dead.

I punched the power button off and handed the phone to Terry. Looked out the window into the darkness and watched scattered lighting of streetlights and houses swish by. Trying not to think so hard they'd realize I was up to something.

What I wanted was for Dave to start looking for me. I knew he would. He'd never find me by morning but at least when I called in the next morning, he'd be prepared to start trying to find where my cell phone transmission originated. On the other hand, if by some hugely monstrous stretch of the imagination Kirk actually had a plan I'd be willing to cooperate with, it would be easy to call Dave off for a while.

Not that I could stall him forever even if I wanted to. State would never let me do this, even willingly. I held too many secrets within my brain that they'd be worried about protecting. And I was now geographically much, much too close to some of the people at the top of our hit list. Without State's protective arms around me, I wasn't supposed to be anywhere near here. Of course, I moaned internally, after my little Jamaica trip, my boss was probably going to have to flip a coin to decide if he'd rather kill me or rescue me.

We were winding up a small hill and within minutes, the van paused at a gate guarded by big guys with big guns. I had to stifle a giggle. Okay. That's an inside joke. Something my friend Melissa over at DOD liked to say. About big guys, big guns and small... Well, something else. But the sight always tickled me. That Melissa. Now there was an Alpha female.

They swung the gate open and we were going up a long driveway, pulling in to park in this area that already held five cars. It probably could have held twice that many. Out of the van and trying to get my bearings even as Terry tugged at my sleeve to force my feet to move. We rounded the corner of the building's edge facing the parking area and I took in a breath. Now this was what I called a compound.

Huge ass house that curved almost in a semicircle at the rear, which was what we were facing. Big patio and pool and cabana encased in a nice garden area. And behind them, in an answering arc, were five guesthouses. "Wow. Who owns this place?" I asked, my voice hushed at the sight.

"The client." Terse Terry. I tagged along with the men as they entered one of the guesthouses. All the bags came in with them and were placed against a wall in an open central room. It was probably supposed to be a living room/dining area but it now seemed to be their equipment storage area.

I stood off against a wall and watched them work. Noticed the van driver was no longer with us and figured he must be one of the Chief's men. The four men with me were so busy unloading the armaments of battle, they barely noticed me start wandering. I found the bathroom down a hall and went inside. Shutting the door was such a relief. I just leaned there against it with my forehead pressed up against the cool of the wood.

And for the first time, really let myself breathe. Gulping in air and fighting off fear. Trying not to stop thinking but wanting really to just give in and give up. But it wouldn't be a simple death. Not with Santiago. I think if a quick death was all I would have faced, I might have been so much braver. But it's hard to be brave when you face torture, humiliation, pain and then death.

This was getting me nowhere. I stood up from where I was and then used the facilities. Washing my hands after and looking in the mirror over the sink. Seeing myself but seeing through me as well. How did you end up back here, I asked my reflection. It didn't answer me.

Light tap at the door and I opened to find Terry looking at me with concern. "You alright, Love?" he said, in such a quiet voice I doubt anyone could have heard unless they were as close as we were. I nodded and went to move around him to leave. "Let me show you where you'll be staying."

I followed him into one of the two bedrooms in the guesthouse. He and Dino were sharing the other. The two men on their team were vacating the bedroom I would be using and they shuffled past me as I came in. There was a bag that looked oddly familiar on a bed in the room. I frowned up at him and he had the grace to look a little ashamed. "How the hell did you get into my apartment?"

"Give me a break, Lisa." He made a face at me. As secure as we thought the place was, where there was a will, there was obviously a way we hadn't considered. "We packed things we thought you might need. If there's something we missed, let me know and we'll pick it up in town."

"Did you at least have the courtesy to pack some lipstick?" I asked, sarcastically and with a hand on my hip.

"Yeah, Love. Dino said a woman would forgive anything but being forced to go without makeup." 

Which actually made me laugh. Sick humor. It seemed to be all I had that night. "Okay. I guess Dino's the lady's man of the outfit. I'll have to remember that."

Just then the man in question popped into the room. "Our presence is requested at the main house." Saying it in this weird Irish version of a British upper class accent. But before I left the room, he reached out and stopped me, his hand on my arm. Looking in my eyes. "Lisa, I'm sorry this happened this way. I know Terry's already told you this, but we won't let any harm come to you."

He was so sincere. He was so deluded. Didn't actually make up for what he'd done, but it softened me up. Which was probably what he had in mind all along.

The 'main house.' What a word. What a place. It's where I met their client. He was the regional representative of one of the U.S.'s larger shippers of oil sucked from this part of the Caribbean and off the eastern coast of Venezuela. Over the course of the evening, I came to learn that the company was being squeezed by Santiago's cartel to be a mule for their cocaine. Seems that for all the oil tankers retrofitted to hide a shipment of drugs amid the cargo holds, there might be a few lost to those over zealous Coast Guarders. But, the ones lost would have been worth the sacrifice if even half of the tankers actually got through.

And I kind of had to smile at that. For sure, State and DEA would have loved to see the Chief's mission of protecting this exec and his company's tankers be successful. On the other hand, had the exec gone over to the dark side, they would have just as surely been trying to put them out of business. In the drug trade, there was really no hope when you're the guy caught in the squeeze between the enforcers and the drug lords.

Kirk caught my smirk and came to sit next to me. We were engaged in the weirdest social event I'd ever been invited to. It was set up like this cocktail party thing. Finger food, drinks and even soft background music. As if we'd all been invited there to schmooze about how we were going to help this poor schlep of a client. But what Kirk was really trying to do was get me mellowed out enough to join his team. I wasn't interested.

When I went to get up, his iron claw gripped my wrist and dragged me back down. I let out this deep sigh and looked at him. "I would never have thought you would betray me this way," I told him, my voice low and meant only for him.

"I would have thought you would have had more faith in me, Lisa." His eyes were always impossible to read. But I always tried. The only man I'd known that had this ability to scare me, intimidate me and frustrate me at the exact same time he made me feel this intense loyalty, trust, devotion,... and admiration. There were times in my life that I'd risked everything only because he'd asked me to. And I'd considered it an honor to be asked.

But I'd grown up since leaving DEA. While I had continued to be intensely loyal to Kirk, I never took things at face value anymore. Even with him. Being with State and having to use my mind to see patterns where none were supposed to exist had made me react differently. I looked under the surface and thought things through now before I acted. That realization came into my brain as I looked at him and I knew I didn't have that luxury in this situation.

"So, faith is it? Let's see. Wasn't there someone I once worked for who had a saying about faith? Let me think. Yeah. It was you," I said, still using my low voice but this time it was nasty.

"'Faith is for fools.' Is that the saying you're referring to, Lisa?" He looked around the room at the men inside. Mostly his men.  And then glanced back my way with that sideways smile that told me I was close to crossing a line. "You were always a fool for me, weren't you? Let's go somewhere we can have a private talk."

Like he'd yanked me in on a string. Just like I still worked for him. My heart racing instinctively at the thought I was close to pissing him off. And I followed obediently as he walked out of the main room, down a hallway and into a room that looked like a public library reading room. Great googly moogly. This client had money.

I slipped into one of the reading chairs opposite where Kirk had sat. Still looking around at this place and wondering who the heck read this many books in the tropics.

"So, you seem to have made fast friends with Terry and Dino. Understand you met in Jamaica. Naughty girl. Bet the boss slapped your hands for that little violation." He had pulled out a cigar and was now lighting it up, not looking at me and I took the opportunity to check him out more closely.

He was still the soldier he'd always been. Same bearing; slightly softer body but for a man his age, he was in prime shape. Same neat mustache and same military cropped haircut. His hair was still basically reddish brown, but now I was able to pick out a little graying there. When his eyes came back to me, they were still that sharp, piercing sienna brown they'd always been. He was the original tough guy with a tough guy's mug and big barrel chest but there was something so cool about the way he moved and talked. I could just as easily picture him in a street fight kicking some young punk's ass as I could see him staring some CEO into submission across a boardroom conference table.

Meeting his laser eyes with my own calm, green eyes, I smiled at him. "Why don't you just ask me to help so I can say no and then you can put me back on a plane?"

"Tomorrow morning at 0900, we'll deliver to Santiago a photo of you proving you're here on the island. Then Mr. Thorne can continue the negotiation for the release of my men," he told me, pausing to drag in on the cigar and then languidly letting the smoke escape his mouth. And all the while, he was watching me, reading my reaction while I sat perfectly relaxed. Like I'd been trained. "Any questions so far?"

"You'd really turn me over to him? Knowing what he'll do?"

"Of course not. I told you. You're just the bait. You'll only need to talk to him by radio once he bites." He leaned back and closed his eyes. And he began speaking in that seductive almost-whisper that always seemed just shy of sinister. "Lisa, you know he'll listen to you. Even now. That's how much he wants to believe that what happened had nothing to do with the operation. It would take nothing for you to be able to buy us the time we need to get those men back. That's all we need. Time."

"I'm not playing this game. Deal me out and send me home. Now." My hard voice snapped his eyes open. He didn't like the line I'd just crossed.

So, despite my objection, he laid out his plan. Now I had to admit, it was a good plan. Course, he didn't make bad plans. But there was a problem. Carlos was not going to be satisfied with a radio conversation with me. We both knew it and I really didn't like the fact that Kirk was trying to lie to me about this. It made me suspicious of the entire plan. That's when I started picking up the signals of desperation.

"Who are the three men you've lost?" I asked him.

When he rose from the chair and walked toward the window, I knew then this was the real issue. He glanced back at me and saw I knew. "My son is one of them."

"Carlos knows he's your son?" I asked and he nodded at me. I closed my eyes. There was no way out now. In the choice between his son and me? I'd been dealt a losing hand on that one before I'd ever even entered the game.

"We'll get them out and we'll get you out as well," he said to my back as I walked out of the room.

In the main room, I barely paused and then worked my way out through the assembled men, who were so obviously waiting on the Chief to conduct a briefing. I had almost made it to the door when Terry's hand on my arm checked my forward progress.

"You'll want to stay for this," he muttered in my ear. "Don't give them more reasons to worry about you."

So for another thirty minutes, I listened and watched as the Chief walked through details. My heart sinking just a little bit more each time I heard my part discussed. When he was finished, it was time for me to leave and I did. One more second in that room, surrounded by people who either didn't care or didn't know that they were basically trading one life for three, and I would have screamed.

I started heading for the guesthouse and realized Terry and Dino were right with me. "Christ. You don't have to watch me this close. I said I'd be here in the morning."

"Lisa, you need to start hiding those emotions when you're around these guys," Dino said. 

I whipped around and leaned into his face. My finger in his chest. "What? I'm supposed to go cheerfully to my death? That's asking a bit much, I think."

They traded looks and then they looked at me. Faces set hard. 

"How many times do I have to tell you this? We're gonna protect you, Love." Terry reached out a hand and touched me lightly on the upper arm.

I shrugged his hand off me. "Terry, you didn't even know the plan's details until tonight. So get off my back."

"Maybe you two would like some time alone to work this out?" Dino said under his breath and I'm sure my eyes got huge. 

I looked between them and shook my head. Then eyed Terry's set face. My voice couldn't hide my shock and dismay. "You told him?"

"He's my partner, Lisa. He needed to know."

I turned on my heels and went into the guesthouse, slamming the door behind me and then turning when I heard it open. "I'm standing here wondering how I could possibly be surprised you'd betray that confidence when you're the very man who betrayed me by kidnapping me. What is it with me that I can't seem to get it through my head that I shouldn't trust you?"

He stood there just watching me, calm and so unaffected by my words. And then walked toward me slowly, like he thought I'd run away like a scared kitten. But I stood my ground until he was close enough to touch me and I could see this softening come over his face. "Maybe it's because you do trust me."

I had this smart retort ready to fire back at him but he was so close, I could feel the heat coming from his body. And, damn it all, I did trust him. That was the pitiful part.

He pressed in closer to me. I didn't stop him but neither did I welcome him. He dropped his head down to kiss me but I turned my head away. I felt him put a hand gently in the small of my back and his voice was deep and soft as he said, "I've dreamed about you so often. About how you tasted and how you felt. And in my dreams, when we made love, it was always so intense I'd wake up raging with desire for you."

My breathing was quickening. As close as he was, he could see the pulse point in my neck jumping. It was the first place he put his lips that night. I felt my knees weaken at his touch and put my hands on his waist for support. And then he stepped in that much closer, bringing his other arm around me as he continued to explore my neck. He worked his way slowly up to my jaw and then his lips were on mine. And I opened them immediately to the urging of his tongue. Moaning into him at the way he made me feel.

"We have the whole night. And I have some dreams I want to make come true for us," he whispered to me. 

Oh my God. This man. The things he could do to my insides with his voice and his touch. I almost didn't have to look at him but the entire package he came wrapped in was so incredibly arousing to my sense of sight. And just the thought of an entire night, in his arms... Then my girly side snuck out and I suddenly flashed on the disadvantages of being that intimate when my body wasn't exactly, shall we say, pristinely clean?

"I want that, too. More than you know, Terry. But could I steal a little of that time to, um, freshen up first?" Knowing I was blushing again. What was it about him that made me feel this shyness?

I saw his lips dart up into this quick smile that seemed almost nervous. "Mmm. That does sound inviting. You go on. I need to let Dino know you haven't killed me after all." A last brush of his lips on my neck and I was trying to walk steadily down the hall. "Save some hot water for me, Love."

I turned in time to see him slip out the front door. Then inside the bathroom and trying hard to breathe again. Catching my reflection in the mirror as I passed the sink. Looking with sober eyes. My last night. My last chance to really run for my life. Or did I trust this man that much? Not just would he be willing to protect me, but would he be able to? Wavering. Uncertain. Where had the person of instinct gone in this time when I so needed her? And then... knowing he was putting his life on the line, right next to mine. Looking at myself again as I undressed. I'd instinctively made the decision already. And I wasn't one of those people who second-guessed themselves once I really decided on a course of action. In for a penny, in for a pound.

And in the shower. Washing away the day. Looking into the drain as it all went away. Then face up into the spray, seeking solace in cascading water that drowned out all noise except that in my brain.

His hands reached around me and I leaned back against him. He'd never notice the tears mixed in with the water pounding down on us. He was spreading lather across my skin, bathing me, cleansing me of the day. I chose to let him be in charge. I chose not to think but just to react to him and his needs, and, in so doing, satisfy my own.

Surely we said something to each other? Perhaps I just choose not to remember words. Only the feel of his hands. The way his lips felt on mine. The way my breasts responded to both his hands and his mouth. I do know what I know. That this was a night worth waiting for.

I have an abiding memory of the first time I felt his mouth roam down to my sex. He had pressed me gently against the wall, and his body slid slowly down mine. His lips and tongue searched my skin, finding ways of enticing moans from me. And then I felt him down there, spreading my legs with his hands, finding my center with his tongue. I believe that was the moment that created the memory.

Coming with such a blinding flash but also a startling bolt to my entire body. I know I made noise. I don't really remember caring if the water drowned out the sounds of my enjoyment. But I know he heard me because it took no time at all before he was on his feet, drawing me up higher along the tiled wall and entering me with his thick cock. His mouth covering mine and absorbing not only my tongue but the sounds of all the further times I came around that driving member that lifted me from the worries of that day. And when he'd finished with me, I know I hung on him because I wanted nothing more than to always be with him that way.

An entire night. This was but the rising of the curtain on the play of fulfilling both our longings. Because we had an entire night to be together.