LUTON AIRPORT     Sunday morning

The black four wheeled drive with darkened windows drove through the security gate followed by another similar vehicle. Inside the second car were two adults and a child strapped into a baby seat. The man and woman were sitting close, the woman's head resting on the man's chest, he stroking her hair. They were talking quietly.

It had been quite a weekend. Leaving the small house in Essex on the Saturday evening, Russell and Ash had driven to a London hotel where she had checked in separately with her son under an assumed name. In fact she never even visited Room 281, going instead straight up to the Penthouse suite. Members of his entourage moved the cot from the other room without reference to the hotel staff. Ash was amazed at the waste of money - two hundred quid a night for an unused room.

She was also nonplussed at the number of people who appeared to surround Russell at all times. Privacy was a concept that seemed alien to him now.

"Doesn't this get on your nerves?" she asked.

"The alternative is a whole lot worse, love," he replied sadly.

Ash rang her parents and gave a simplified version of the truth. Dom's father was back on the scene and they were taking a long holiday - she would be in touch. Her mother was far from satisfied, but Ash refused to elaborate. The next phone call was to her Head of Department who was furious at her announcement that she would not be returning to work and he told her if she wasn't in on Monday she would lose her job.

"I've brought the exam marking. I will fax in the results. There aren't any more bloody classes until October. My resignation's in the post but I expect to be paid until the end of September. Otherwise I'll sue." Ash threatened.

Russell had cracked up listening to her. "Like your style. Attack is the best form of defence," he giggled.

"I learnt at the feet of the master!" Ash retorted.

Then there was Molly, other friends and neighbours most of whom received a similar story to her Mum. Except for Molly. She owed Molly more than that. Ash came clean to Molly who whooped with delight.

"Go for it, girl! I'll look out for you in The Sun!" she teased, elated at the news. She had met Russell once or twice at the house in the early days and had liked him a lot. He had never seemed like a celebrity, just an ordinary bloke in love with her friend. She barely recognised the man she knew in the image the media presented of him. Ash had suffered enough. All Molly could do was wish her well even if the task her best friend faced of being a partner to a man in his walk of life was going to be enormous. But so would be the rewards. 

That was that. Apart from the mountains of luggage, that is- Dom's toys and paraphernalia taking up most space- but there was no problem about luggage allowances in a private jet.

They stepped from the car into the Immigration Check Point. Russell was known.

"Good morning, Mr. Crowe, great to see you again." Passports were handed over, a cursory check made. "I see you have a toddler on board. That should keep you all on your toes!" remarked a young ground stewardess, cooing at Russell like they all did.

"Don't worry, love, he'll have to be a handful to cause more trouble than me!" Russell grinned back.

As they strolled over to the plane, Dominic became very excited. Well, he was a  little boy and a plane's a plane. Russell took him from Ash and walked him round the outside, pointing out all the features. The little boy was round-eyed with delight, his chubby fingers reaching out to grab everything.

Ash contemplated how far her son had come in just two days with his father but then Russell had always had kids eating out of his hand. They instinctively trusted him and he had endless patience with them, so different from the tetchy image he could portray if he wished. But Ash felt there was something else - she was sure that Dom could sense that Russ was something special to him. Could a child so young feel such a thing?

One of Russell's aides came forward and picked up her hand luggage. "Ready to board, Miss?" So far she had been treated correctly by his people, but without much warmth. Ash was not sure whether that was because they were trying to give her space or whether they had seen too many women pass fleetingly through Russell's life to take much notice of yet another. Time would tell.

On board, in the unaccustomed leather-upholstered luxury, Ash had a tingling moment of unease; she felt dowdy and out of place. How could she compare to the elegant beauties who must have travelled with him before?

Russell and Dominic boarded and it wasn't long before they were belted up and in the air. Next stop - US.

Dom was eager to play although Ash was anxious about turbulence; Russ sat on the floor with him, seating him firmly between his own legs while Dom messed about with cars and toy planes, babbling and in a world of his own. He would come to no harm with Russ wrapped around him.

It was a long flight with one stop for refuelling. Ash decided to try to orientate Dominic to Californian time by pretending it was night. She shut the blinds and dressed him in his pyjamas but he wasn't happy about it and obviously not tired.

"No bed!" he shouted.

Ash pulled out a bottle of knockout drops that her doctor had supplied a few weeks' earlier when they had driven to Cumbria. Of course he refused to take them, knocking the spoon from her hand and shouting his favourite phrase of the moment. "Don't want!"

Russell immediately took over. He asked for some medicine and, while Dominic watched suspiciously, he drank the spoonful and then pretended to choke, rolling over and over on the floor holding his throat and then playing dead. Dominic thought it was hilarious and demanded some for himself - giving a similar repeat performance just like his father's.

"Another bloody actor in the house!" Ash observed but was secretly impressed. Russell just had the knack. A short while later, Dominic was out for the count, tucked up in a sleep cot. Russ and Ash were free to enjoy their privacy for the first time since they had hit the hotel. Last night had been awkward with so many people in the suite and Ash and Dom had retired early, leaving Russell discussing arrangements and making dozens of phone calls. He had slipped in beside her late in the night but had simply pulled her to him and fallen asleep himself.

The jet had two seating compartments, quite separate, so the rest of the retinue was only present if summoned. Russell poured out two beers and sat down.

"Here's to us, Ash!" He toasted.

"This is so crazy that I know it must be right. What are we doing, Russ?"

"Falling back in love, I hope. But first, the serious shit. What do you want me to tell them?"

"Them?"

"The fucking press." He always called them that. It was as if the adjective fucking went with the word press.

"The truth?"

 He snorted. "The truth?"

"Why not? They'd never believe it!"

Russell laughed. "You might have a point there but it's going to be tough. Once the wires get this, it'll be flavour of the month. That means all day, every day, cameras on us, articles about us, people thrusting tape recorders into your face and wanting statements. Dom's going to attract a great deal of attention, particularly with the rumours about my inadequacies in that department."

"What?"

"Some shit on the net. I'm supposed to have a low sperm count. The thing is, you can't imagine how intrusive it's going to be, so don't simply say 'it's ok. Prepare yourself for the worst and it will be even worse than that. And expect me to be an animal - I'll rip their fucking heads off if they frighten him!"

"I don't want it, Russ- but it's part of the deal. I know you'll look after us. I'll go along with whatever you decide."

Russell pulled away and frowned. "I'm not sure that I can handle this: a compliant Aisling. You keep saying 'yes' and it makes me feel uneasy." He smiled sadly at her, memories of their earlier disagreements stirring.

"Called your bluff, did I? Expected me to say 'no' when you proposed, did you? Wish you could take it back now, do you?" she smiled and stroked his face.

Russell sighed and covered her hand with his. "I didn't know what you'd say. I never do. But I wanted you to say 'yes'. You know I did. I only said what I'd meant to say the day I walked out. I had meant to propose. I even had a ring with me. But it came out all wrong. I was so worked up - and then when you started all the objections I thought it was all going to come tumbling down around me again and I just...." Ash moved her finger to his lips.

"...No more! We have wasted two and a half years when we should have been together! I don't want to waste another minute. It wasn't your fault. I was beginning to backtrack. Australia had made me think and I could see the way the tide was turning. I wouldn't have left you though, but I think I would have played it cooler. Who knows? It's my fault that I am now being thrown in at the deep end. I should have been there from the beginning and learnt with you as I went on. Just expect me to throw plenty of wobblers every so often and be patient with me when I make mistakes. Because I know I will."

Russell lifted her on to his knee and she curled up against his chest, eyes closed, revelling in the safety of his arms after so long alone.

"Want to join the mile high club?" he whispered in her ear, nibbling the lobe and licking sensuously.

Ash opened one eye. "Now you're talking, boy." And she swivelled round to straddle him, pulling open the buttons of her sweater while he leaned over and picked up the phone. "Give us a bit of privacy, will ya?"

Returning to her, he watched as she stripped to the waist and then ran his hands over her upper body, gently playing her nipples with his thumbs. Ash eased off his shirt and pulled the white T over his head, smoothing down his hair and leaning over him, her breasts falling before his face. He nuzzled his face against them and murmured:

 "Ash, I used to dream of these. For months. Wake up with someone else and reach for them and..."

"No, Russ. I don't want to hear about the others. Please."

"God, I'm sorry...I just meant...." He gave up and reached for them, licking each nipple lightly and kneading the full soft roundness in his hands. A groan emerged from him and he became more urgent, sucking and biting gently as she held him to her and ran her hands through his long hair, delighting in its thickness and profusion compared to the earlier shorter lengths that she had known. It seemed lighter in colour, more auburn than dark brown, shiny and healthy and so erotic in her fingers- almost enough to make her come all on its own. But then she was had always had a thing about his hair - all of it. It would soon be dyed blonde for his new role.

"Ash? Did you breastfeed him?" He had suddenly stopped and was staring at her face, his hands still tending to her breasts. Ash nodded; she could see the hurt in his eyes - there were so many things he didn't know and hadn't witnessed.

"For about a year. He was hard to wean. Used to just suck for hours for comfort. Never took a dummy. Couldn't sleep unless he was curled up hanging off my nipple."

Russ smiled. "Felt that way myself. Sleep was hard without you, Ash."

Ash looked at him, "I know. You think I could sleep without you? If it hadn't been for your old jumper wrapped round me, I think I would have never closed my eyes again."

Before he could reply, she slithered to the floor and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling off his boots and socks as he pushed his pants down his legs. He was naked beneath. Ash stood before him and undressed slowly. It wasn't a sexy strip - she just wanted him to be able to look because she knew how he loved to look. Her body was different in her eyes- she wondered how it seemed to him. The girlish thinness had given over to a more round shape- still the same general dress size and weight but somehow her flesh was distributed differently: the slight swell of her belly, the faint silvery threads of stretch marks, the breasts less pert and firm. It was a woman's body, a girl's no longer. Standing naked before him under the revealing bright lights, she didn't feel shy. This was who she was and she was proud of that and she knew he loved her regardless of such inconsequential signs of the passing of a few years and experiences.

His hand reached out to touch her belly, his palm flattened against it. "He grew there. All that time I was fucking about playing Crazy Bastard, Walking Hard On, Head Banger, Jesus, he was there, growing, and I didn't know!" He fell to his knees and buried his head against her; she could feel the tears on his cheeks.

"There'll be other babies, darling. You'll be there for them." Ash held him to her.

"Never him, though. That's gone." He was right. You couldn't get their babyhood back.

"Love these." He suddenly pulled away and indicated the marks on her belly. 

"War wounds. Left my mark on you again. Remember- like a flag on the moon?" Russell smiled up at her. Only he would think of such a comment.

Ash joined him on the floor. She bent forward and touched his erection, lowering her lips to taste him, fired on by the sensation and the effect it had on him. He seem to crumple back against the seat, his head dropping back, his lips open and moaning softly as she sucked and nibbled, licked and grazed.

"Ash, baby, no one ever did it like you!"

She stopped and grinned up, "Bet you say that to all the girls!"

"Yeah, but I don't always mean it," he replied, his cockiness returning momentarily. "Stop, Ash, come here on me. I want to feel you. Flesh to flesh."

She stood up over him and he pulled down her knickers; she noticed how he smelt them before he tossed them aside. It was a highly erotic act and he seemed then to follow the scent almost like an animal on a trail. Lifting her on to the leather seat, he hit the lever and it reclined until he could kneel between her parted legs and taste her. No one had ever made her feel as he could when he went down on her. Ash simply lay back and let him go, watching him for as long as she could, her hands tangled in his hair. But he was too good and her eyes were soon rolling back in her head as she reached her orgasm and cried out:

"Russ. I love you, Oh God, how I love you..."

He was suddenly above her, over her, in her- she had barely noticed him snap on a condom and enter her as she writhed in her own passion. Muttering words of love and encouragement, he thrust into her, very slowly at first, watching the sight of their joining intensely. He waited and rotated his hips for her to accustom herself to his girth and then first gently but soon with heightened pace he continued to push in and out as his own desire became pressing.

"Ash, my love. Ash - come for me again. Let me hear you. Tell me you love me, Ash."

"I love you. More Russ. I love you. More. I...Oh, God!

She cried, he groaned; they both came. Russell had hardly stopped shuddering when the inevitable happened.

"Mummy!" A shout came from Dominic who was in his cot behind a small curtain. Russell rolled away with a grunt and Ash pulled on his shirt, running over to console him. He was half asleep and groggy- in a real mean mood. Too tired to sleep, too tired to stay awake, he screamed for half an hour while Ash struggled to pacify him. But as last he fell back into a dead slumber and she turned back to Russell who, either because of a spoonful of baby knockout drops (hardly likely) or the after effects of his energetic orgasm, was in a similar comatose state, lying on his back, stark naked and snoring. Ash threw a blanket over him and giggled. "Chip off the old block!" she thought as she checked on Dominic, also lying back snoring, took her clothes to the bathroom and cleaned herself up.

Hotel suite.  Baja, New Mexico

"We have to be completely honest with each other. No secrets. I'm like your doctor, lawyer and father confessor all rolled into one. Can you hack that?"  Debby Dawson sat facing Ash Connor on the balcony of the large lounge, facing out to sea. A small child was lying on a nearby sofa, watching a cartoon on an enormous plasma TV screen.

Debby Dawson was a PR agent. She had been working with Crowe for a few years and had earned her impressive salary several times over with the dance he continued to lead them. This time he had really given them a task. Who exactly was this woman? Old girlfriend, obviously, but then there were several thousand of them out there or so it seemed at times. What about the child? Unlikely to be his. Was she another example of his penchant for picking up mothers - what was that about? Or had he marched in and broken up another marriage? He sure had a taste for taking other men's women. Debby thought that he seemed to get off on that one- what was wrong with him? She actually liked Crowe when she was with him but he seemed to be schizoid - some of the stuff he got up to was so different from the impression he gave in the flesh - but then he was an actor. Or was she falling for the media-Crowe image like everyone else?

"I understand. What do you need to know?" Ash broke into her thoughts. Debby looked at her. She was a very attractive girl but hardly the type normally associated with Crowe. Ash Connor seemed intelligent and confident; there was a curious expression in her eyes as if she were appraising the PR as much as the other way round. The child was cute, too - sturdy with thick dark blonde hair and big blue eyes, rather quiet. He seemed to be a little shy around strangers and sat with his thumb in his mouth, watching the TV but regularly checking over at his Mom. It must all be very confusing for him. Wonder what he made of Crowe?

"First. Who are you?"

Ash gave her full name and details of her career, which were duly noted. Debby raised her eyes at the academic record. Not the usual Crowe plaything.

"So I take it you met on the Gladiator set?" Ash nodded.

"And then...? Give me some facts, honey."

Ash paused. "Facts? You mean when, how, where, how many times, does he have any identifying marks that only a lover would know? What do you mean by facts?"

Debby sighed. "I don't need to know the intimate details of your love life. I take it he fucks like the next man. I mean what has been going on these past years?"

"I met him. We had an affair. It ended. We met up. We're giving it another go. What else?"

"You're wearing a ring." Debby had noticed it immediately; the press would lap that one up.

"I know. Russell gave it to me when he asked me to marry him." At that Debby all but fell off her chair. 

"Marry? Crowe? My God!" Debby's expression suddenly changed. "Is this really serious, Ash. Are you and he...?"

 Ash nodded.

"Do you have any idea how this will play? There's going to be maximum coverage of this. It will be bigger than the Ryan fiasco. They'll rake through every thing about the two of you. They will even stalk the kid's father for stories..."

"The kid's father? Are you speaking of my son?" Ash inquired.

"Yeah. They'll love that one. Dirt on how he broke up your relationship, took you and the kid..."

"Russell is his Dad." 

Debby put down her pen. "Straight up? He is really his Dad?  You sure? Couldn't be anyone else around the same time, could it? You'd better be honest because they'll dig, you know."

"I can assure you I know who fathered my child. Look at him. Could you doubt it?"

Debby turned to look at the child again. Both women burst out laughing.

"Dom! Pull your pants up!" He was sitting with his pants round his knees, playing with himself. Ash ran up and re-dressed him, sitting him on her knee. "Don't play with your willy in public, sweetie."

"Like it."

"I know but it isn't nice."

"Feels nice."

Ash kissed him and carried him back to where they were sitting. He lay back on his mother's knee, sucking his thumb again and staring at the woman. His hand was back on his groin.

"He's nervous. Too many people around. It has been very bewildering for him recently," Ash tried to explain.

Debby smiled. "He does look like he could be Russell's son. That's apart from his interest in his equipment - and the obvious gifts nature has given him. Certainly backs up what they say about his Dad!" Ash smiled. "My feeling is we tell them the minimum. They'll work out where you met; speculate endlessly about the paternity and what is going to happen next. Whatever we do they will turn this into a 'slagging off Russell' story. Crowe dumps pregnant girlfriend for Ryan and then comes back to claim child. It will revive all the old crap."

"Then tell the truth - that I never told him about Dom, that we met again by chance, that I was the cause of the whole mess. I don't care if I'm the bad guy."

"It wouldn't play. They would attack him even more for letting you take the blame. And they won't believe it. He is the Bogeyman where the press are concerned and they won't ever see him as a victim."

At that moment, Russell breezed in, off the set for a few hours and returning for a bit of peace and quiet. Dominic slithered off his Mum's knees and launched himself at his Dad.

"Hey, mate. Steady on. Want to knock me flat?" Russell swept him up and upended him in the air; the child screamed with laughter.

"Hi, Debs. What's the picture?"

"Grim. Shots of you both on landing the other week. Rumours of a woman and child in your suite. Stories of surrogate mother beginning to loom - makes you sound like Michael Jackson. We have to make some statements before your silence on the issue makes it worse."

Russell covered Dom's ears and swore imaginatively. "Where do we go?"

"Meet the press session here. Ash present, but keep the child well away. Tell them as little as possible but make it clear that you are a couple. And Ash, take the ring off! It will only fire up speculation. When...or rather, if... you set a date, then you can drop that one on them."

"Take the ring off? I'm his fiancée. I want to wear it. I don't want them to think I'm just his latest squeeze..." Ash protested.

"They'll think that anyway. Stay in control of the information. Drip-feed it - it will serve to counter and confuse their speculations. Be seen together at chosen locations where you can stage-manage the pictures. And no happy families just yet, no naked shots on balconies or beaches, no arguments in public! You got that, Rusty?" Debby shot that at him. Russell smirked and nodded. She continued.

"I'll set it up ASAP. We'll take a conference room here. From now on you do it by the book - that means as I say. Don't piss me about, Russ, I'm warning you! And keep your temper at the press call. If you lay into anyone, I swear I'll let them have you." Debby threatened.

"I need to talk to Ash in private. Can you excuse us?" Russell carried a squirming Dominic into the bedroom and Ash followed.

"What do you reckon?" Russell asked.

"I want to come clean but she says no. She's the expert. I suppose we'll have to do as she says. I need to ring my Mum and Dad and tell them everything. And you need to warn your parents. They know about Dom but we need to make sure they're not going to get any surprises. Perhaps we should bring them here?"

"No fucking way! When they meet Dominic I want it to be at home in private. Believe me, here would just make it worse."

" 'ucking way!" Dominic repeated. They both stared at him. Russell grimaced and looked extremely repentant; Ash just giggled over her son's head and whispered: "I warned you!"

"Dad, play!" Dominic had already forgotten and was dragging Russell over to his Brio train set, which was laid out across the floor. It was an obstacle that had caused some major swearing when Russell had stood on it in the night as he stumbled to the bathroom to take a leak.

"Russ - we need a house. He's going round the bend cooped up in here. I can take him to the pool in the day but once they work out who I am, I won't be able to leave the suite. Can we rent some place?"

"Thought of that already. My people are on to it. Give me a couple of days and then we'll be sorted. I'll keep this place and make occasional visits- it will confuse them."

"Keep this? It's so expensive!"

"I don't pay for this. Who gives a shit?" he replied.

"Language! I hate all this waste of money. It's a sin. How can anyone justify it?"

"Get over it, Ash. They make it back. This film will earn them millions in profit."

"Still- it's a stupid world, isn't it? Here - you want some lunch? I'll knock you up a sandwich...."

Press conference.    Several days later

"Mr Crowe. Can you tell us a little about your girlfriend?"

They never minced words. Russell had barely sat down before the barrage began. Even his new blond locks did not seem to dominate the proceedings as the journalists scented a much more promising story in the offing. Ash sat by him watching carefully, trying to work out where their real enemies were and if there might actually be anyone out there who might be on their side.

"Dr. Connor and I are friends. We go back a long way. There is no story here, so give us a break." Russell tried the conciliatory approach.

"Doctor? You a doctor, honey?" One journalist asked.

"You think I make this shit up?" Russell retorted.

"How does your son fit into the picture, Dr. Connor?"

"Her son is doing just fine." Russell answered for her.

"Is it true that you were dumped for Meg Ryan?"

"Are you really the father of this child?"

"Russ, did you break up Dr. Connor's relationship...?"

Russell stood up so abruptly that he knocked his chair onto the floor. He took Ash by the hand and made as if to lead her out. She looked at him and shook her head. Turning back she sat down and squeezed his arm. He righted his chair and sat down again.

"My name is Aisling Connor. A-I-S-L-I-N-G. I met Mr. Crowe when I was an historical advisor on the motion picture Gladiator. I chose my career over a permanent relationship with him and we stopped seeing each other more than two years ago. I have had no part in his life since, nor do I have any ideas about his private affairs during that period - so don't ask me. Being a mother and a full time career woman has made it difficult for me to follow the gossip columns. Recently we met up. We are seeing each other again. That's all there is to it." Ash sat back and took a drink of water. Suddenly her throat felt very dry.

"How does the baby's father feel about this?"

Ash stopped mid-mouthful and thought. She finished drinking and returned the glass to the table. "Russ - what do you think about this?"

The room broke into uproar. Most of the journalists were on their feet trying to put their own question. Ash was astonished- is this how they treated celebrities?

"Ash... Is he the father? Was your son conceived during the filming of Gladiator?"

"WHAT?" Ash stood up and bellowed at the baying crowd. "The filming of Gladiator concluded over a year before my son was born. I do not have the gestation period of an elephant. He was not conceived on the floor of the Colosseum if that is what your lurid fantasies are trying to imply. However, we are the parents of Dominic Crowe. Russ and I - get over it, will you? Do I really have to tell you all the facts of life?"

This time Ash walked off and Russell merely followed her. He turned to the assembled media and raised his hands as if to say: "What can I say?" and then he laughed. Ash was outside the door, shaking with rage.

"How dare they ask me such things? I don't care, Russ, if I said the wrong thing! I hate the crap! I just told it like it was...!"

"Hey, calm down, love. Debs is having a coronary but I'm not. You were brilliant. I was crap. But Dominic Crowe? Where did that come from?"

Ash turned on her heel and made her way to the elevator. She said nothing as they travelled up to the penthouse. Once inside she walked to the bedroom and opened the safe, pulling out a wallet, which contained her documents. Throwing a folded sheet to Russell, she walked onto the balcony and looked out at the sea. He opened the paper; it was a British birth certificate.

Name: Dominic David Connor Crowe

Mother: Aisling Mary Connor 

Father: Russell Ira Crowe

 

"Ash?" Russell was shocked; he had had no idea his name was on his birth certificate.

"You think I would lie? Say I didn't know who his father was? How would that make him feel when he grew up? I always intended to tell him when he was old enough to understand..."

"They will dig this out from the Public Records, you know?"

"Then I'm glad I told the truth, Russ. Aren't you?"