The shit had hit the proverbial fan. The following days were like a surreal nightmare as every known media source in the world seemed to have nothing better to do than speculate on the whys and wherefores of the latest Crowe affair. Column inches were wasted in endless speculation; pictures old and new were dragged out - even a photocopy of an extract of the birth certificate was available on the 'net. Ash sat in her luxurious prison and gaped at the beast they had unleashed in an attempt to be honest. All Russell said was, "It will get worse." That really cheered her up.

Then there were the calls from home. Ash had primed her parents but their initial shocked response gave way to anger and recriminations that they should have been kept in the dark so long and that she should be with such a character in the first place. It was not aided by the press who camped out on her mother's doorstep until Russell's people in UK gained a court order to keep them away. Nevertheless, the Connors were advised to take a holiday and Russell arranged for a longish trip. They felt as if they were hounded from their home.

Ash had no idea how Russell's parents were coping; he spoke to them but said little to her about their reaction. That alone made Ash feel wary. Although they had initially welcomed her with open arms, she wondered if they felt quite the same now? Somehow Ash suspected they didn't. Another hurdle in their path- there seemed to be nothing but obstacles these days.

It was different for Russell. He was used to the whole deal anyway and he was out most of the time, on set, and in a way shielded from the hullabaloo. The set was closed; he was working very hard, long hours, and enjoying himself. The car came for him at six and he often didn't return until late at night. Sometimes he had a few hours off in the day and would pop home to see Dominic but he seemed more like a visitor. Ash was stuck in the suite day in, day out. Even trips to the pool were becoming difficult; people were now beginning to work out who she was.

"Hi, what's your name?"

"Dom'nic"

"Where's your Daddy?"

"Work"

"What's his name, honey?"

"Dad."

"What does Mummy call him?"

"Wuss."

"Excuse me? Do you want something?"

"Cute little boy. Would you mind answering a few questions, just off the record...?"

That had been the last experience of the hotel pool - some journalist in a bikini with a tape recorder, using Dominic to get to her. And there had been pictures of him the next day under some stupid headline of 'Minimus - first shots of little Crowe.'

The move to a secluded house was an improvement but in some ways even lonelier. The security people had their own cottage near the gate and no one was allowed near the main house unless sent for - except for a cleaner and a nanny who was engaged at Ash's insistence. Russell had thought it unnecessary. They had argued about that.

"I don't want my son brought up by some fucking nanny."

"That's ridiculous. I'm here all the time. I just need a break sometimes. I can't even go to the store without him. And if I do got out with him then e just get hounded!"

"He needs to go out. You can't lock him up in here with a servant."

"She wouldn't be a servant! And I know he needs to go out. Don't tell me what he needs. How come you're suddenly the bloody expert on children?" Ash had exploded at him; he was getting the brunt of her frustrations.

"Do whatever the fuck you like! You managed when you were a single mother. How come you suddenly need a break now?"

"You are such a selfish bastard, you know. I had no choice before. And I was on my own ground! I had my job, my friends, my freedom! I'm going insane here, Russ. It's like being in solitary confinement. And if I put my toe outside the door, someone will set me up."

"I never said it would be easy."

"You said you would support me. What exactly are you doing to support me? I barely see you and now you're kicking up a fuss about me even getting some help. You have people to fetch and carry, drive, buy your clothes, pay your bills, wipe your fucking arse, probably - so don't be such a hypocrite!"

It had carried on in that vein until he had walked out and hadn't returned until the early hours. He was drunk and uncommunicative, falling into bed and in a comatose state moments later. Ash had lain awake for hours beside him until it was light. Everything had seemed so simple back in England. But she wasn't sure he was even the same person that she had known three years ago. Where was that crazy guy who had made her laugh and fume in equal measures? Had they ground him into something different; something hard and overbearing, a man who believed his own press and thought the world revolved around him?

And then he would wake up and grab her and they would laugh and he would apologise and Dominic would burst in and the day would begin with Ash wondering just what kind of stupid notions had plagued her all night long. Of course, he was the same man. Just busy and tired and worried, too - he had so much on his mind all the time. Before had been less complicated - he had had the challenge of his first real lead but it had been an exciting adrenalin-filled ride. Now there was the weight of living up to the stellar position he had achieved whilst overhead the vultures were circling and waiting for him to fall. This film was a real risk. He could have coasted along, walking with his eyes closed through blockbuster after blockbuster but he chose not to do that. He was always true to his belief in the pursuit of excellence and the need for him to take chances.  

But before any failure would have meant little to anyone. Now he would he crucified if he did not maintain the frighteningly high standard he had set for himself. People talked off his genius already. They would as easily reject him as a failed has been whose best was behind him if he made one expensive dud. And Master and Commander was not your average film. No sex, a complex stifling interior world of men with only the visual highlights of a few explosive battles to temper the slowly unfolding narrative of men at war in that claustrophobic watery world. Russell needed her to be a support for him too  as he set out on this voyage - what exactly was she doing for him at the moment in her turn?

One evening, when he had come home early for once, they had eaten dinner together and Dominic had been with them, sitting on his father's knee and picking food from his plate as they ate. It was cosy and Russell seemed more relaxed than he had been for the last few days. They had chatted and laughed about this and that. After dinner, Ash had put Dominic to bed and slipped back down, hoping for some quality time with him. He was, by then, in the study working.

"Russ?"

"Not now, Ash. I'm busy."

She slipped her arms round his neck. "What you doing?"

He wriggled away from her. "Ash - give me a break. I've got to get through all these." He indicated the dozens of e-mails waiting for him.

"Don't you have people to do that sort of thing?" She asked with a sigh.

Russell looked back at her. "These are my private mails. I'm not letting 'people' loose on them. What the fuck's the matter with you? Can't I get a minute to myself? Have I got to be tending to you every hour of the day?"

"What? I haven't seen you properly for days! You haven't even made love to me for... three days, is it? Do I even get a look-in? Perhaps I should email you!"

Ash stormed out of the room. She heard him swear and launch himself after her.

"Right- you've got my fucking attention now. What do you want - a fuck or a fight? I'll give you five minutes either way."

"As long as that? Wow - you are really living up to your reputation tonight, aren't you?" He scowled at her. "I just wanted to ask you something, that's all."

Russell exhaled. "I'm sorry, love. What is it?" He reached for her but this time Ash shrugged him away.

"I'm bored, Russ. I need an outlet."

"Bored? You've got everything you need here. I got you this place- what more do you want?"

"I want something to do! I'm not used to being a kept woman. I want to work."

"Work?" Ash bridled at his exclamation.

"Yes, work. I had a career. I gave it up. Now I want to use my talents for something else. I was thinking..."

"Thinking?  Now we're really in the fucking shit," he growled at her. Ash ignored him.

"I thought maybe I could do something on the set."

"WHAT?" Wrong move.

"I have worked on a film set before. I do have experience."

"No."

"What do you mean - no?"

"I mean 'no fucking way'. Is that clear enough?" Russell brushed past her and returned to the study. Ash followed him.

"Why not? I could help with continuity or script or just as an assistant, run errands, get coffee - I'd do anything to get out of here!"

"Are you crazy? My woman running around getting coffee? That would really impress everyone."

"Your woman? Fuck you, Crowe. I don't belong to you."

"Who pays your bills?" Ash gasped at him as he stood before her with that smart assed look on his face, chin raised, ready for a fight.

"You shit...!"

And she swung at him for the second time in their relationship. This time he anticipated it and blocked her, catching her fist in his, swinging her arm up above his head, and grabbing her other arm, firmly. Ash reacted instinctively and raised her knee. Russell had moved forward to steady his hold at the same moment, so in fact leant into the blow that floored him. As her knee contacted with his groin, Ash realised that it was with her full force and he crumpled to the ground with a groan.

For a few moments, he didn't speak - just held himself and rolled from side to side, his knees pulled up. Ash stared in horror. "Oh, God, Russ! I didn't mean to do that! I just did it without thinking...! Oh God, are you alright?"

Russell held one hand out to her, breathing hard. "Fuck off, Ash. Shit - what the fuck did you do that for? Jesus! You knocked my fucking balls into my brain, you stupid ..." Then he started to laugh amidst the grimaces of pain. He rolled back and howled, still hanging on to his crotch.

"Why are you laughing?" Ash knelt down beside him, confused.

"You are a fucking ball-breaker! But I asked for it. I told you to go for my balls next time and you did. Ash, when you blow, you really blow, don't ya? But perhaps you need to think first? I take it you would like another child one day? Seems to me, smashing my nuts might not work in your favour ultimately!" He grinned through still gritted teeth.

"I could always get another fella with intact gonads, mate. You aren't the only man in the planet with sperm, you know." Ash retorted.

"You touch another bloke and his bollocks will be splattered from here to fucking Tasmania, love. That's a promise. Right. You have seriously got my attention now. Want to run through your little proposition again?"

"Do I have to hit you to get you in a decent mood? Is that all you understand? I think you only respect someone who can face you down."

"That was not my face, love." He replied, still rubbing himself.

"No, but at least it didn't hurt me this time. They really are soft, you know!" Ash giggled, "Aw, don't be such a big baby. You are a real wimp. Want me to kiss them better?"

Russell backed away, "Get away. I'm not letting your teeth anywhere near my goolies." But they both started to laugh. "I'll bet they're bruised. I'll be walking funny tomorrow."

"You walk funny anyway." Ash teased, "I always wondered if it was the weight of them, something to do with gravitational pull..." Russell pulled her down beside him and rolled her over.

"I'd like to wipe that smirk off your face and replace it with a glazed look of sexual contentment but my dick somehow isn't singing from the same fucking hymn sheet tonight, thanks to you. You want a job? OK. Monday morning. On set. You can be my gopher. It doesn't pay much, you get to work for an ignorant bastard who will treat you like shit and - you fucking raise your voice, your fist or your knee to your boss and you will be out on your pert little butt in two minutes flat. And the star expects sexual favours on tap. So you can open those long legs for me on demand, too. Can you handle that, love?"

Ash sat up and put her hand on her chin as if thinking hard. "Work for an ignorant bastard who treats you like shit? Hmm, well - I live with one of those already so that should be a piece of cake. Sexual favours on tap? Now I would regard that as a bonus, extra to remuneration. Sort of reward for good service. Do you treat all your assistants so well, Mr Crowe? 'Cos, I'm warning you if you do, you bastard, I'll have your balls splattered all over that set and I'll pin your dick up on the fucking mizzen mast. And you know I mean it, don't you, lover?" Ash sat back and gave him a beaming smile.

Russ shuddered and grinned. "Aye aye, cap'n. Message received and understood! But you've forgotten something. What do you plan to do with Dom while you are bouncing your little arse all over my set?"

"Bring him with me, of course. You can't refuse. Don't pull that face. I'm sure there's a labour law about having to provide crèche facilities for staff. You try and put your foot down and I'll sue you - for everything you've got."

Ruefully cradling his bruised scrotum, Russell shook his head. "You've just busted me balls, love, you might as well have the rest. Nothing else worth living for now."

"You'll survive. You're still talking in a low register. I haven't castrated you - yet. But I might. So watch your step. Now go back to your love letters. What are they all anyway? You running a chat line?"

Russell stood up and limped hammily back to his computer. "Work. About the next film and the one after. If I sign. Mostly that. I never realised how much effort directing was going to take either. They don't do a single thing without checking with me first."

Ash laughed. "They wouldn't dare, Russ. You'd rip anyone's head off who interfered with your baby. Be honest. Can I help?"

Russell looked up at her, "Yeah, piss off and make us a cuppa, will ya? Seeing as how you are now my beautiful assistant. And keep him away from me on the set. I'm not stopping swearing at work for anyone..."

So that's how it came to pass that Ash went back to work on the lowest wage she had ever earned since working in a pub in her student days. Dominic loved it. He spent his days pottering around with his nanny Jacinta making friends, running wild and generally having fun. What he made of the weird and wonderful world of a film set and the even stranger characters in costume, he didn't comment on. His life was pretty bizarre anyway and he seemed to take it all in his stride. It occurred to her that Russell had spent a lot of his childhood hanging round sets and wondered if she was irreparably damaging her son with a similar experience; another actor in the family?

But it was like one big family- everyone kept an eye out for him and he was protected by all and sundry; they understood the pressures of his life even if the little boy didn't. Dominic was just happy to be out and about with his Mum and Dad near; life is so uncomplicated when you are nearly two.

Ash was not given an easy ride. Most of the other people on set were quite willing to let her just hang around and made few demands on her; she was Crowe's fiancée, she could be there if he insisted. However, Russell had no intentions of allowing her simply to do what she liked. He was going to make her earn her money. Much to his amusement, and exactly what he had known she would do, she never demurred. She called him 'Mr. Crowe', she kept her distance and she carried out his requests, however unreasonable (and there were some doozies) without complaint. Ash knew he was goading her but she had decided to call his bluff. He would eventually have to back down.

One lunchtime, she brought him a sandwich he'd asked for.

"What the fuck's this?" Russell challenged her before several people, including his actual PA, Helen.

"A tuna sandwich."

"I asked for ham."

"You didn't."

Are you challenging me, love?"

"I don't think there's any ham."

"Then get your little butt over to the nearest sammie shop and get one. Or make one yourself - and be quick about it."

For an instant, Ash appeared to be going to say something but then she shrugged and replied, "You're the boss!" and turned on her heels.

Helen caught up with her outside. "You OK?"

Ash smiled. "Yes. But I'm going to get him."

"What's going on, Ash? He never talks to people like that. He's always so nice. Why is he so horrible with you?"

Ash giggled. "He's doing it on purpose. He thinks I'll blow. Helen, he has a very strange sense of humour, you just have to know him. He doesn't mean it but unfortunately every body else thinks that he does, hence the bloody reputation he's got. Look, he doesn't really want me here for lots of reasons, which I do understand. However I think he's actually quite enjoying it now that I am here. He hasn't had anyone to bait for a long time. But I'm getting him this time. This is all 'cos I kneed him in the balls the other night..."

"You did what?" 

"It was an accident... sort of. So he's getting his revenge. But I'm one step ahead. How do you think he'll like a couple of raw chilis on his sandwich?"

"You wouldn't! He'll go mad, he's on set in an hour."

"Ooh good, that will make his makeup run!!"

Ash scooped up Dominic and said: "Let's get Dad something to eat!" and she took one of the set cars to the local deli, making a detour at a supermarket on the way back. Half an hour later, she was back with a ham sandwich. Russell and the script editor were talking about the next scene.

"Your lunch, Mr. Crowe."

Russell absentmindedly took the proffered sandwich and raised it to his mouth. Ash and Helen held their breaths. Then he threw it in the trashcan at the side of his chair.

"Thought I'd fall for that, did ya?" He quipped without raising his eyes from the page of script he was reading. "What was it, dog shit?"

The editor looked up bemused.

 "Sorry, mate - private joke." Russell looked over at Ash. "Mizz Connor. Wait in my trailer. I've a favour I want you to do for me. I'll be along in a minute."

Only Russell noticed Ash give him the middle finger as her hand rested down by her side. He grinned. "Yeah, love, something like that!"

Ten minutes later, in the relative privacy of his trailer, Russell grabbed Ash and threw her on the daybed. "Right about that favour..."

"You are joking! I wouldn't do you a favour if you were the last man in the world, mate." Ash retorted, trying to wriggle away from him.

He pulled her back and straddled her, pinning her down while he shrugged off his costume shirt, " Better not get this creased," he grinned as he struggled with the buttons of his breeches. "Fucking passion killers, these are," he muttered.

"Don't know actually. I've always fancied shagging a man in breeches. I never got over Sean Bean in Sharpe. I've never been the same since I saw that. Can I call you Sean? Or Sharpie. Ha, ha, Sharpie, me lad..."

"Shut up.  And get your knickers off. I've only got fifteen minutes."

"You get them off - you're the one with the bright ideas... Oh God, Russ - do that again..." He had freed his manhood and was not wasting his time, already devouring her naked breasts under her little sun-top.

"Ten minutes, Mr. Crowe." The usual runner was knocking.

"Did you lock the door?" 

"Yeah...Oh God... Ash, go with me, baby... That is so good, you are so wet...."

"Mr. Crowe, did you say something?"

"...Aaaaagh."

"Pardon?"

"FUCK OFF!" Russ shouted, his teeth gritted and covering Ash's mouth as she began to cry out.  A few minutes later, they were calm again, lying side - by- side in post-coital bliss and laughing.

"You better sort yourself out. You don't want to be late." Ash reminded.

"Give me a sec. I'm still hyperventilating. You were so hot then. Was it me or Sharpie?"

"Well, the breeches helped, not to mention the boots ( by the way, can you please take them off next time?) but I've been horny all morning. Ever since you started treating me like a slave. It was kind of arousing. You know - like some kinky domination game. Maybe I should wear chains? Haven't you got a spare cat o' nine tails lying about the set somewhere?"

Russell eyed her up. "You are one pervy woman, Ash. On second thoughts - get them mail order and don't mention my fucking name!" He giggled.

"Er, excuse me, Mr. Crowe, but you have five minutes..." a tentative voice outside interrupted.

"Thanks, mate. Be out in two tics!" came his cheerful reply. "A lunchtime fuck doesn't half put me in a good mood, you know, Ash. Knew I'd find something useful for you to do around here," he said as he put on his shirt and fastened up his breeches

"Just wait until I get you home. It won't be cut chilies in your sandwich, mate - it will be cut chili on your dick. That'll bring tears to your eyes, Rusty me lad!"

"How do I look?" He smirked, posing arrogantly.

"Aren't you even going to shower?"

He laughed. "Authenticity, mate. They rarely bathed. Might strip off and jump in the sea later." 

"Show off. Hope it's not too cold. It will ruin your reputation. Do they have sharks round here? You'd give them plenty to chew on." 

"No worries. Capt. Jack would wrestle them with his bare hands."

Ash threw a cushion at him. "You are not Captain Jack, Russ! Stop being delusional. Take your meds. You'd shit yourself if you saw a shark."

"Hey, mate, I grew up in Sydney."

"You'd still run a mile. All talk, you are!" He grinned and put his finger on his lips. 

"Better keep that to yourself, love. Even Steve Irwin's frightened of the public me."

She laughed as she dressed and watched him go. Boy, did he look good in breeches and boots and the shirt wasn't half bad either, she thought to herself as he loped over to the trailer door and breezed through it, giving her a wink as he left. Someone was in a good mood!

It was one thirty in the morning. Russell and Ash lay under the stars by the pool sharing a bottle of wine. He had come home late, dinner was ruined but he had called this time. It wasn't his fault; serious problems with equipment had delayed filming and they had simply had to wait around until the technical staff were ready. Ash had not been in that day, Dominic had a cold, his asthma triggered slightly, so she had had time to cook for once and it had been wasted. 'C'est la vie- ours anyway,' she thought.

Russell had suggested a moonlight swim and seemed to be in a surprisingly chirpy mood considering the day he had had. So they had swum and fooled around a bit and now they were lying watching the stars. It was late and they should get to bed but it was rare to get such a quiet evening and neither wanted to spoil the moment.

"You can be really romantic when you want to be, you know, Russ. That used to always strike me - how you could change your mood on an instant. I used to have these names for you. You know, in the old days when I was first getting to know you. There was Romantic Russell- he was always my favourite, especially when he started spouting poetry. Then there was Crude Russell - I met him first- he was funny in small doses and then there was Shy Russell - he was cute but you didn't get to see him too often, even then. Later I met Show off Russell- he's Shy Russell's alter ego - Shy Russ hides behind him, and then there was Monosyllabic Russell - that's when he's fucking, by the way- I like him! Sometimes you see Big Bad Nasty Russell but he generally doesn't show me that side..."

"Have you quite finished assassinating my character? What about - charming, debonair, talented, good looking, witty..."

"Well, you didn't let me finish, did you?" Ash insisted.

"That's because you started with my negative qualities."

"No, I didn't! I said Romantic- or do you regard that as one of your weaknesses?" she teased.

"It's just that women always think they're perfect and that us blokes are loaded with flaws. Whereas you lot are just plain peculiar."

"Me? I'm wonderful." Ash giggled.

"You are a fucking nutcase, love! Right. Let's deconstruct you, shall we? First there is bloody Know-all Ash who won't use one sentence where a fucking hour-long lecture will do. Thank Christ, I was never in your fucking class. Next -may I introduce Indignant Ash who pretends she's got a stick up her backside if anyone swears or says something even slightly crude. Then we have Madame Chunder whose eyes are bigger than her belly. She snores. Later I met 'Gosh, I'm such a silly girl' Ash who can play bimbo as well as the rest when it suits her. Interspersed with these infuriating women are Nympho Ash (I like her)- she drops her knickers on demand and always enjoys what uncle Russ gives out- she's very kinky that one. Have I forgotten Maternal Ash? - now she's adorable. When she has that motherly look on her face and she has Dom in her arms and - sometimes she even turns that on for me, ya know? Best of all is 'Madly in love with Russell' Ash. We don't hear from her very often but she's knock out when she's in that mood. However my favourite has got to be Gladiator Ash..."

"Gladiatrix- that means female Glad..."

"Shut up, Know-all. She is the star. Even keeps Russell Crowe in his place. Quick right hook, knee in the groin. The man is terrified of her. But she certainly keeps his attention. And I haven't even mentioned Unreasonable Ash and 'Whineing I'm bored little Pom' Ash ..."

"I think you've made your point. If I'm such a pain in the arse what am I doing here? Surely you can find another bit of fluff who doesn't give you so much earache?"

Russell rolled over and looked at her. "Still don't get it, do you? I love you. Simple as. But you do get on my fucking tits at times. Always did really. That's why I knew you were the one."

"Russell. There was not a man born of woman who could get on my tits as much as you - and my tits are bigger. But I love you, too. And I want to be romantic. Hearts and flowers, all that naff stuff. Tell you what you mean to me - but I'm scared you'll laugh. You always do."

"I'm not laughing now, Ash. Tell me. Even psycho bastards like me like to hear it sometimes, you know." 

They looked at each other and neither of them was laughing this time. He reached out and touched her face and she whimpered at the feel of his hand. "Russ, I love you. You are my whole world. You and Dominic. I never want to be anywhere else but by your side. I would do anything for you, anything. I just hide behind this smart ass exterior because you overwhelm me so much. You are the most wonderful man in the.... Russ, it sounds like crap when I say it. You carry it off better than me. You can always make shite sound good! Whisper some words of love to me. Recite a poem. Tell me how beautiful I am."

He looked down on her with that expression on his face that said so much. She knew what he was thinking; suddenly realising that she always did these days. What did that say about them? But he suddenly giggled and the intense mood was gone. "I'd rather fuck," he whispered in her ear.

"So would I. Dare we out here? Can anyone get a shot of us? Do you remember what Debs said?"

Russell looked around and pulled her under the shadow of a nearby tree. "We're already starkers. But public fucking is a stage beyond even my tolerance for exhibitionism. Should be all right here. What do you fancy? Romantic, erotic or just plain dirty - I'm easy."

"Mum!" Dominic's voice carried over the night air. "Want to wee."

Ash shot up and ran into the house. This was a significant moment. It was the first time he had woken himself up to wee. So much more important than hot sex with Russell. 'Am I crazy?' she thought as she picked him up and carried him through to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" Ash was startled to hear Russ' voice; he must have followed her in.

"He wants to wee."

"He's sitting down."

"So?"

 Blokes don't wee sitting down, love."

"He's only two. He can't reach the loo."

"No son of mine is peeing sitting down. Right, Dominic Crowe. Let me give you a demo. Sit him on the top." Ash sat Dominic up on the granite sink. Russell performed noisily and Dominic howled with laughter. He made an impressive arc into the bowl and then liberally sprayed the seat.

"Suppose you think that's clever? Now he'll be spraying all over the floor. Thanks a lot," Ash complained.

"Quit whinging. He's a bloke - of course he'll paint the porcelain. OK, Dom, mate, here's your potty. Let's see if you know what to do."

Dominic gleefully took a stance, legs planted firmly apart and arching his back, his penis in his right hand. He managed a further dribble and most of it fell into the potty. The two boys burst out laughing.

"He's a natural. Great action, mate. Your Mum's just jealous- if she tried it she'd dribble down her legs. Just wait until you're a bit bigger. I'll show you how to hit a moving target!"

Ash raised her eyes and shook her head as Russell carried a delighted Dominic back to bed. He would be demonstrating his newfound expertise to everyone the next day. But as usual Russell had done the right thing. Dom would probably never need a nappy again. He had just joined the big boys.