"Want to see life from the crow's nest?"

Ash and Russell were standing on board one of the tall ships being used for the film. Work was over for the day and she had just come aboard to look around. Surprisingly enough, Ash had never really been near the outside shots - cast and necessary technicians only were allowed on board for filming, due to lack of space. Russell was still in costume minus the heavy jacket; it was a warm day. His shirt was open half way and Ash smiled to herself at how magnificent he looked. His fan club would further swell when this one came out.

"What do you mean?" Ash asked.

"Up there. Want to go up top?" Russell asked.

"Are you joking? I'd die of fear. You know what I'm like about heights."

"You did the Harbour Bridge."

"We were harnessed and I was with your Mum and Dad." Ash replied, heart already pounding at the thought of climbing up the rigging. "Anyway, I'm not insured to go up."

"I'll look after you. Come on." Russell held a hanging rope away from her head to clear her way and motioned for her to step forward. She pulled back.

"Trust me. It's easy. You have two hands and two feet. Only remove one limb at a time and you can't fall. I'll be behind you." He reached out and tugged on her hand; she felt her self move towards him.

Russell put his hands on her upper arms and looked deep into her eyes. His voice was low, almost inaudible and it rippled through her like a breeze. "I will not let anything happen to you. If you trust me, you will come up with me. Do you trust me, Ash?" The question was loaded. After the issues that had risen between them recently she knew that he had other intentions here. This was not just about getting a good view.

Nodding, Ash climbed on to the side; Russell held her round the waist and hoisted her up to get a foothold. "Get your balance first. Feel steady before you start. OK, good girl. Now, right hand off, move up when you have a hold, move your left foot, keep that pattern. Say it to yourself like a mantra. Yeah, that's it, baby." She began to move up the ropes more smoothly than she had imagined. It wasn't difficult; the rigging made excellent holds but it was the bounce that worried her as she went, especially when she felt Russell following her and his weight caused a sudden shift in the whole structure. She gasped and looked down.

"Don't look down!" he barked up at her. His tone was so commanding that she found herself instinctively obeying him without argument, just doing what he said and letting him take control. She began to realise that this is what the whole episode was all about. He was showing her his authority and power, and also his wish to protect and look after her. Ash was not sure she liked it but she knew she could not argue with him now. She needed him to get to the top.

"Slow down, Ash. We're not going right to the top. Just ahead there's a wooden platform - on your right - they call it the tops but it's only half way up. Now relax and hold on tight. I'm going to climb above you onto that platform and then help you to where we can sit. Just hang on, everything will bounce about when I come up, so don't panic!"

She hung on and closed her eyes as he swept past her - the speed he was moving at was impressive.  His weight created what felt like an enormous pressure on the ropes and for an instant she thought it would all simply give - but no. She heard the creak that indicated that he had made contact with the wood.

"OK. This is a bit tricky. Climb a little higher and then you have to step side wards and I'll help you up..." She climbed up and followed his instructions until she was almost able to scramble onto the ledge. He reached out and grabbed her by her arms; she felt herself lose her footing on the rigging and for a moment she was suspended over the boat, held only by his grip. Did she imagine that she hovered there longer than she needed to? Was he frightening her or showing her some obscure lesson? But before she had time to react Ash found herself by his side with her feet planted firmly on the platform. Even if it did appear a rather flimsy perch, it was vastly preferable to where she had been hanging moments before.

"Can it take both our weights?" she asked a little anxiously.

"Takes a couple of men up here. Don't worry. You've done the hard bit. Sit down. He indicated a rough bench.

"The hard bit? That's getting down, Russ. I'll never be able to do that in reverse!"

He grinned. "Then I'll have to upend ya and give you a fireman's lift!"

She shuddered at the thought of that. Sitting down, she viewed the scene below and about. It was breezy and both sails and masts were wafting and creaking but it felt surprisingly secure now that she was there; and the view was spectacular. For a while they sat and watched, Russell pointing out places below or parts of the ship that had been used for specific action sequences - they even picked out Dominic running about near the food tent with Jacinta.

"How do you feel now?" He suddenly asked.

"Great. Proud of myself. Wouldn't have dreamed I could get here. Without you I would never have tried." Ash smiled over at him a little tentatively.

"That's the point, isn't it? We have a long way to go together. We have to trust each other - without any doubts. The minute doubts creep in then you fall. We can't both be pulling different ways; we have to work as a team." He spoke slowly and with a tone that he rarely used with her, that authoritative voice that was more seen on a set, or with the media or even on the farm.

"I'm not pulling a different way, Russ. Maybe I was before but I'm not now," she insisted.

"Do you trust me?"  Russell suddenly threw that at her again. Ash hesitated. She wanted to say 'yes' but that wasn't quite true. Trust him to protect her? Yes. Trust him to love her? Yes. Trust him to be faithful? Now there was the rub.

"Not entirely, Russell. If I were honest."

"Good answer." He lit up and blew out smoke looking out to sea, his eyes screwed up against the glaring sun. "Nothing happened. With her. I just wanted to frighten you. That was unfair. But it could have done. So easily. She wanted it." He dragged deeply on his cigarette and looked sidewards at her for a reaction. He had that impenetrable look on his face. But Ash knew it was a pose. Inside he was running scared. He was always at his most aggressive when he felt like that.

"Why didn't you, then? It's just a mechanical process for you. Blood rush, flex your sexual muscles and let go." Ash stared him out.

"Because of you. Because of him." A pause. "Because of her. She doesn't deserve to be used like that."

Ash weighed up his words. "I don't deserve that you should discuss our private life with another person either. Especially a woman who...has sexual feelings for you, if not even more than that."

He nodded. "I had to talk to someone."

"Me. You had to talk to me!" Ash threw her hands up in despair at him. "No one else! How dare you discuss whether we should have another baby with her? Put yourself in my shoes. How would you react if I disappeared off with an old boyfriend and told him intimate details about you?" Ash had not intended to go on the attack. She had wanted to be compliant. But he was wrong. He had no right. She was not letting him browbeat her into accepting behaviour of this nature from him. There had to be a threshold and he had to realise that with her he was not above the law.

There was a long pause. He was thinking. "I'm a shit. Always have been. Especially to those most close to me." He looked down at the platform; he suddenly seemed shrunken.

"No, you're not. You just don't get it right every time. Nor do I. But we always give the ones we love the hardest time. Because we can. 'Cos we will be there despite it all" She placed a hand on his arm and he turned to her.

"It's going to be all right, isn't it? You and me." He looked upwards. His eyes had changed colour, lighter and mistier now. She wondered if he knew that they did that? Sometimes it was hard to know if he was genuine or using his considerable arsenal of talents for creating a mood.

Ash leant against him. "I think so. You will give me the ride of my life and no doubt I will do the same for you. Roller coaster ride. But, Russell, there are limits. I'm not going to spell things out. But she is one of them. If you ever do that to me again, I will walk. And Dominic goes with me if I do. You know that - and I don't mean that as a threat but just as a fact."

"You or Dom. Makes no difference. I can't hack it anymore without either of you."

"Then remember what I said."

He nodded and put his hand on his naked breast through the open front of his frilly shirt. "It's etched there. In blood."

She smiled at his melodramatic flourish. "I love you. You could break me. Humiliate me. Pull me down. Don't do that to me, love."

Russ appeared confused. "Is that what you think? That I would do that to you? Christ, I couldn't hurt a hair on your head."

Ash ruffled up his hair, and just like Dominic would he squirmed away from her, like a little boy. "No, not on purpose. But it is in your power to destroy us both. Make sure you understand your power, Russell."

He encircled her with his arm and they sat a long time saying nothing. He ground out the cigarette on the heel of his boot. 

"Are you allowed to smoke on these ships? I mean it's all wood, rope and cloth..."

"'Course not. I'd fucking kill anyone who did," he retorted.

Ash giggled. "You are such a bloody hypocrite!"

"I know," he grinned.

"Russ? You brought me up here because you wanted to show me how I had to depend on you, didn't you? What would you have done if I had freaked out and we had had one of our mega rows up here?"

He shrugged. "Thrown you in the fucking sea, I reckon."

She laughed uneasily, not quite sure whether or not he was joking.

"Want to join the forty foot high club?" he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"What? Are you fucking nuts?" Ash gasped.

He giggled. "Only joking. Even I couldn't actually fuck you swinging. C'mon let's get down. Find Dominic."

He climbed down until he was shoulder height with the platform. "Crawl back until you reach the edge. Secure your foothold and then start to walk yourself down." He held her by the belt of her jeans until her hand contacted with the ropes and they began the downward descent. It was terrifying but he spoke constantly, his voice quiet and calm, reassuring and confident. Ash closed her eyes and let it wash over her as she moved; before she knew it, she was back on board. He stood on the rail and guided her back, lifting her the last few feet. Raising her eyes to where he stood on the rail, hair blowing in the slight breeze, looking like some publicity shot for the movie, she grinned.

"Russ?"

"Yeah?" He looked down and she pushed. 

"Take a deep breath!" she shouted as he fell backwards into the sea, surprise giving way to amusement as he plunged down. 

He surfaced and swam away from the ship. "OK, smart ass. Jump!" She did. He let her rise and watched her as she treaded water until he was sure she was safe.

"I'm a good swimmer, Russ. Anyway Captain Jack is always saving people who fall in..."

" ...Or get pushed."

He dunked her head under and they swam for the side, dragging their wet bodies up the rope ladder that was suspended for them by a few technical staff still on board. Dripping they slopped over the gangway onto terra firma much to the bemusement of people hanging around the set. But no one commented. Not in his presence anyway.

"All wet!" Dominic squealed with amusement as they sloshed back to the trailer. Ash wriggled out of her jeans and T-shirt, wrapping a towelaround her. Russell was having more difficulty peeling off his soaking layers, especially the boots. He threw the wet shirt at Dominic who proceeded to throw it back.

"Stop that!" she warned him.

"Dad did it."

"Both of you then!" she shouted. Russell pulled his tongue out at her behind her back and Dominic immediately copied him.

"I saw that. That is naughty!" 

"Dad did it," Ash glared at him.

"Hey, Dom, mate. Don't dob me in it.  She'll be mad. Us boys have to stick together, ya know!"

Ash took a towel and rubbed Russell's hair and shoulders. "You are ruining that child!" she whispered. "Don't leave me to be the big bad wolf. You are his father. Start acting like one. Would your Dad have laughed at your Mum behind her back when you were a kid?"

He pulled a face. "Christ, he wouldn't even dare do it now! Point taken, love. I start being mean with him. Promise. Now, bend over and help me get these boots off!"

Ash giggled. "Now there's an offer if ever I heard one! Come on, Dom, give me a hand with these boots."

She straddled his right leg and he pushed against her bottom with his left; Dominic pulled ineffectually. When they finally shifted the boot, they both fell in a heap on the floor, laughing. They repeated the same with the other until they were rolling over on the floor giggling helplessly. Russell watched them with pride as he peeled off the wet breeches, linens and the white knee length stockings. He wrapped a towel around his waist and helped himself to a beer.

"You two quite finished? Get dressed, Ash, you're giving me inappropriate ideas. Fancy bending over only wearing a towel! Do you know you have boot prints on your bum?"

Ash dropped her towel and Dom started giggling again at the muddy prints on her naked buttocks. He picked up the wet shirt and began to wipe her clean. Russell observed the two of them playing and laughing together. His girl and his son. It brought a lump to his throat. How easy it could be to throw it all away in a moment of selfish petulance! He had to focus on the real heart of things from now on. Things really did have to change. He could not live his life as he always had done anymore. This attitude that no one could tell him what to do was an insult to the two people who were now his family.

"Russ? Can I lend a shirt or something? I've no clothes to change into."

He threw her a flannie. "It'll drown you."

"I can belt it like a dress!" she laughed. He looked at her swamped in his shirt, wet plait dripping down her back, clear eyes dancing and her face so fresh and tanned, healthy and real; a beautiful woman with no need to cover herself in expensive make up and designer clothes. But he still had a yen to see her after the star treatment. Wonder what she would look like if the design consultants got to her? Fucking amazing probably - better than most of the queens of Hollywood, he reckoned.

"Russ? I'm going out. Jacinta is off today. Keep an eye on him." Ash was off to the club. She was now getting tennis lessons. "Are you listening?"

"What?" He was reading and annotating a script. There were some complex scenes ahead and he wanted to make sure he was on top of all of the changes and the technical details.

"Russ! Listen!" Ash dumped Dominic on his knee. "I'm off for my lesson. You are now in charge of this ship. Thought you liked command. See how you cope with him for the afternoon, cap'n." She kissed them both and left, jumping into the back of a car driven by one of the men. She wished she could drive herself but Russ insisted that she be accompanied at all times. The general warnings about his safety now included his girlfriend and son. These alerts were probably just hoaxes but he had no intention of taking them lightly. And there was also the issue of the paps who staked out their rented home and followed every move in a posse. It was scary, intrusive - and potentially a road hazard especially for someone not used to the attention. So Ash accepted her bodyguard and did not give him hassle about it.

Russell deposited Dominic at his feet and kicked over a box of toy cars for him to play with. For a while the child busied himself with them but he was quickly bored.  He wanted his father's attention and resented being ignored by him. So he tried talking to him but Russ merely grunted back; he was completely wrapped up in what he was doing and not really listening to his son.

Unsurprisingly, as children always do, Dominic found some mischief to occupy himself - or perhaps it was a sign of his attention-seeking. There was a lot of his father in this child. 

Dominic picked up Russell's cigarettes and matches, which were lying on the coffee table, and sitting cross-legged, he began to empty the cigarettes out. Then he stuck one in his mouth, pretending to smoke.

"Dad!" 

"Yeah, Dom," Russell said absentmindedly.

"Cigarette!" Russell looked up and saw him. He reached over, snagged it from his mouth and threw it back on the table.

"Stop that!" He returned to his reading.

"Dad?" Russell looked up and realised he had now emptied the entire packet on the floor and was opening up the papers, spilling tobacco all over the place.

Russell shouted loudly and Dominic jumped with shock. "Give me all of them. NOW!" His voice had unconsciously hit Aubrey in full flow, a fearsome number of decibels even on a film set.

Dominic picked them up one by one with a rather truculent manner, taking his own sweet time, in a manner that was reminiscent of a much younger Russell - the behaviour he had perfected at school or with his parents. An older Russell did not recognise this of course; it just made him even angrier. "Hurry up!" Dominic was pulling a face, close to tears, upset at being shouted at and not quite understanding why. Like his father, he had a well-developed sense of indignation whenever he was accused of wrongdoing - even if he was guilty of it. And Dominic was also angry. But the little boy put them all back on the table  as he had been told and watched as his father refilled the packet, throwing the broken ones away.

"Now, go play something and behave. I'm busy!"  Russell snapped and picked up the script again.

Dominic sat down on the floor in a sulk - and then his eyes caught the box of matches. He had seen his Dad scratch them and make a light. So, of course, he did exactly what he had observed. But he was smarter this time. Moving over to behind the chair out of sight, he began pulling out matches and striking them against the box as his father usually did. At first he wasn't using the strip but finally he discovered it. The match flared and he dropped it in surprise; it fell onto a cushion from the armchair that happened to be lying on the floor and the flame grew brighter.

"Dad?"

"Shut up, Dom."

"But...Dad!"

"Give it a rest."

"Dad! Fire..." Dominic spoke quietly, rather hypnotised by the flickering flames but his words dawned on Russell who jumped up, smelling burning at the same moment, and found his son behind the settee, kneeling before a burning soft cushion. Hauling Dominic away under his arm, he looked around for something to put out the flames. There was a large vase of flowers on the side table so he threw the blooms out onto the floor and then poured the water over the burning upholstery. The charred remains of the cushion he flung out onto the patio.

"What are you doing playing with matches?" Russell bellowed at Dominic.

Dominic started to cry.

"I told you to play with your bloody cars."

The child wriggled from his grasp and threw himself on the floor, sobbing.

Russell looked down at him. 'Christ, it was my fault, not his. He's only two. I should have been looking after him better.' 

"Come here, mate. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have left them lying around." He picked his son up and cuddled him against his shoulder. Russell scratched his head and felt guilty. 'First time he's left at home with me and I nearly let him burn the house down?'

Dominic stopped crying but said nothing, merely sucking his thumb. He knew he had done something wrong but wasn't sure what it was. And his father's voice had scared him. After a while he settled down and climbed off his father's knee to go back to his cars but he was still subdued and quiet. Russell watched him for a few minutes but, as he seemed to have calmed down, he picked up his script and returned to it. His phone rang and he answered the call, turning his back on the child while he reached for it and sitting on the back of the settee as he chatted.

One of Dominic's cars ran under a chair so he crawled under to get it back. He noticed something on the wall. It was an electric socket. It had holes in it. It looked interesting. So he put his fingers in the holes. At that moment, Russell turned round.

"Fuck!" he dropped the phone and dashed to yank him away by his heels. "Don't do that! It's dangerous."

Running back to the phone, apologising to the caller, a rather important Hollywood producer, he went on with his chat. To his astonishment, Dominic simply crawled back and did it again.

"That is fucking well it!" he muttered to himself. Grabbing the child roughly, he threw him over his shoulder and went up to the playroom where there was a playpen that Dominic never used. Ash said he was too old for it. Russell dumped him unceremoniously in it and threw in a pile of toys. "Now try and muck about in there, mate!"

And he left his astonished son to go back downstairs and complete his call.

Dominic stared and then looked around. He was alone. He didn't want to be there. He wanted to be downstairs running free. With a sudden burst of temper, he started to scream and scream, throwing himself down and kicking his arms and legs out in frustration. Russell stood at the bottom of the stairs and listened. Dominic sounded as though he was going to have a fit.  The wailing went on and on.

He was still at it after ten minutes. What the fuck should he do? Russell was determined not to let the little bugger win, that was for sure, but could a baby do himself any harm crying like that?

Picking up his phone, he called Ash. It was a while before she answered.

"Russ, I'm in the middle of a tennis lesson!"

"Yeah baby, I know. But... this is an emergency."

She caught her breath. "Is Dom all right?"

"Yeah, he's fine. I mean... well he's chucking a complete mental here. What the fuck do I do with him? Can you hear him?"

Ash listened. Boy, was he screaming. "Russ, what have you done to him?"

"Hey, don't blame me! He was arsing about so I put him in that fucking playpen. He just lost it. He's just cracking the shits up there."

She burst out laughing. "Well, let him cry then. He'll have to come up for air eventually. What does Mark do to you when you throw a wobbler?"

"What?"

"If he's got a temper, you know where he's got it from. So he couldn't do something he wanted to? Recognise the feeling? Someone took his teddy away?  You should be sympathetic. Sort it out. You've chucked enough mentals around yourself before now. And can you speak English? Cracking the shits?" Ash hung up, biting back the desire to laugh. So Dominic was taking on Mad Max was he? Hope there wasn't too much blood on the carpet when she got back!

Russell threw the phone in temper on the floor and then started to laugh. He listened to Dominic, still screaming, and decided it was time to establish a bit of control. Christ, the kid was only two! If he could frighten grown men, he could bloody well frighten his own son into obedience. Running up the stairs two at a time, he re-entered the playroom.

Dominic was now standing up looking though the bars and shaking them, still yelling at the top of his voice, his face purple with temper and angry tears teeming down his cheeks.

"Right mate, cut that out! I've heard enough. You want to get out, you stop that crying! Otherwise you're there all day. You understand that?" Dominic screamed louder and threw one of the toys out of the pen at him.

"OK, your choice, mate." He turned to go and heard Dominic gasp and the shouting stopped. "Don't...go..." he cried out.

"You going to stop screaming?" Russell asked in a stern voice.

Dominic nodded and held his arms out.

"You sure? And no more mucking about?"

He nodded again, his lip trembling.

Suddenly Russ wanted to pick him up and kiss him. But he knew he had to toughen up. Dominic was showing real Crowe tendencies here and that was the last thing Russell wanted. He could hardly handle himself at times and could do without another dose of uncontrollable testosterone under his roof.

"Come here then." He lifted him out and set him on his feet. "We need to talk."

Dominic followed him downstairs, his thumb in his mouth and dragging his feet behind him on the treads as he clutched the stair banister and climbed down slowly. But Russell did not help him or make it easier for him. Back in the lounge, he sat on one chair and told Dominic to sit on another.  The little boy hoisted himself up and then sat sobbing looking miserably at his father.

They had a talk. Russell sat leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees and his hands joined. Dominic sat back with his thumb in his mouth and his other hand clutching his groin.

"You're a little boy and there are lots of things you don't know. That's OK. We will help you learn. But, mate, when I say something's dangerous, when I say 'don't do it'- then that's exactly what I mean. You got me? I will only say it when I have to. But when I say 'no'- you jump, Dominic, and do what you're told or I will throw you back in that pen and leave you there all day. Do you understand me?"

Dominic nodded. "I...sorry..." He sniffed and put on such a contrite little face that Russell struggled not to laugh. But he didn't.

"OK mate, let's see if you mean it. Now. What do you want to do till your Mum gets back?"

Dominic got off the chair and walked to over his Dad. He whispered something.

"What?"

The child reached up to his father's ear and said it again. "Wet my pants." Russell looked and saw the damp patch at the front of his shorts. Poor kid. He had cried so much it had been coming out of both ends. But as small as his son was, he was ashamed of himself.

"Nothing wrong with that. Take 'em off. Let's have a swim.  Cool down a bit. No need for swimmers. Your Mum's not here."

They both stripped off naked and Russell threw Dominic into the pool and dived in after him. Dominic could already swim quite well already although you had to watch him - he hadn't really got the hang of breathing yet.  The two of them began to lark about and in no time the tears and tantrums were forgotten and peace was restored between them.

That's where Ash found them an hour later when she returned from her lesson, rather expecting World War Three to have broken out in the meantime but finding a rather delightful scene of the two naked water male water babies bonding adorably..

She stood by the pool watching them, Dominic diving down like a little water baby and swimming under his father's legs to surface on the other side; Russell throwing him about and making him chortle in pleasure.

"You two all right?" Ash asked with a grin.

They looked up at her with an almost identical look of bemused innocence and then over at each other with scarce concealed devilment. Two partners-in-crime.

"Yeah. Why?" Russell winked at her. Dominic climbed out of the water, ran round, and threw himself in to the deep end again while Russell shot off to watch him, diving under the surface to emerge right where he had landed and rise up with a roar that made Dominic scream in delight.  Ash shrugged at them both with a smile and went in through the patio doors only to find a scene of complete chaos waiting for her.

First she found a burnt cushion, dripping wet. Then she found tobacco and broken matches all over the carpet.  There was also an upturned crystal vase on the floor, leaking the last vestiges of water onto a soaking wet carpet and, of course, the entire flower arrangement scattered all over the place.

In the corner of the room there was the pile of their clothes on the floor and in the middle of it all were Dominic's shorts wet through with a familiar urine smell.  Running upstairs she checked on the playroom where the battle had finally taken place. Toys had been flung everywhere and there was a suspicious puddle in the playpen. No blood on the carpet, though. Just wee.

Ash burst out laughing. Wonder who won?