Two months later on a cold blustery November morning, Ash stepped out of the jet back on English soil. They had been away almost six months. Dominic was groggy and grumpy, still under the effects of the sedative she had slipped him in his juice when he had been driving them all mad with his energy and over-excited antics. He knew he was going back to see his grandparents and he couldn't wait. Since his birth, her mother and father had been a rock for her and they adored their grandson. The past few months had been hard on them and he too often asked why he couldn't see Granddad and Nana any more.

Russell had been surprised when she had asked him if they could make a trip to UK; not because he didn't expect her to want to go home but because Ash had been so tentative when she had put it to him, as if she thought he would refuse her. Sometimes he wondered what kind of man she thought he was. Why wouldn't she want to spend time with her family just as he did? London was fine with him, apart from the fucking weather. It would be a chance to look around for a property to buy anyway; they needed a decent base over there.

He watched Ash carry Dominic across the tarmac, Mark shielding her from the drizzle by a large umbrella. She had been subdued on the journey, claiming tiredness but he knew better. Ash was nervous. Something was preying on her mind and it didn't take much to work out what it was. Real Life. Playtime over and now they had to make their moves. First her parents to deal with - then Oz and the even more daunting prospect of bringing Dominic to his other grandparents- and finally the wedding. Planned for New Year's Eve. He had his people discreetly working on arrangements back home but Ash seemed curiously uninvolved. She hadn't, to his knowledge, even spoken yet of what she was to wear, never mind any other requests. Seemed strange for a woman. Wasn't that what they always wanted - to look like a princess in some beautiful gown on the most special day of their lives? Russell wanted that for her so much; dreamed of seeing her as his bride, to be able to make up to her for all the pain they had inflicted upon each other for too long. This wedding was three years overdue and they had no more time to waste. Yet Ash seemed to be faltering at the final hurdle. Please God, don't let her back out now!

Everyone imagined that she was pushing him into this marriage using Dominic as the weapon to trap him. He had read it in the press, she had told him the boards hummed with accusations of that nature - even his friends had suggested it. Christ, his own mother had said as much, warning him to make sure he was going into this for the right reasons.

"You are a rich and successful man. Women set their caps at men like you. She may feel you owe her this."

But that's what other women would have done. That's why he had been so fucking careful over the years - must have used up an entire rubber plantation in his time even if they said they were on the pill or shots. He had never quite trusted any of them not to set him up.  But Ash was nothing like other women. That was the point. And he hadn't cared whether she was on the pill or not. She was always going to be the mother of his children and he had willingly taken chances with her. Frankly, his usual paranoia had never even occurred to him when he was with Ash. Why would no one realise that it was he who was pushing for the wedding and she who was dragging her feet?

The minders were loading the luggage into a vehicle and cleared them through Immigration. Ash was standing whispering to Dominic whose tear-stained face was resting on her shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around her neck. Russell saw then just how big he was getting and that he was becoming quite difficult for Ash to carry for any length of time; she had complained recently that her back was beginning to hurt when she was hoisting him about or when he jumped around in her arms.

"Here, Ash. I'll take him. C'mon, mate, give your Mum a break." Dominic came willingly enough and snuggled down against his father's more cushioned shoulder, his thumb now in his mouth, grabbing a lock of his father's long blond hair and entwining it round his finger.

"You're quiet, love. Glad to be home?" He smiled down at her.

"Home? Another bloody hotel? Why can't we go home properly?"

Russell sighed. They had discussed this at length. They couldn't use the tiny house on a new estate in Essex where she had been living with Dominic when he had found her again. Not that he cared where they were personally. It wasn't about the luxury apartments or the room service. But it wasn't feasible to live in such a place: it was not safe, there was no place for the retinue and, of course, it was in easy reach of the press. Ash knew that but she was in that sort of mood so he let her sulk.

They drove into London and Ash gazed out of the window, lost in thought. Dominic cuddled on Russell's knee beginning to brighten up as the sedative wore off.

"Dad? Where's Nana?"

"Don't know, mate. You'll see her soon. Not today."

"Dad? Can I go to Nana's now?"

"Not today. She's busy. But soon, Dom. In a few days." Russell replied.

"Mum? What's a few days?"

Ash turned to him and smiled. "You have to go to bed tonight and then another night. Then Gramps and Nana will come down and spend a few days."

He pulled a face. "Now!" 

"Dominic. Stop being silly."

He wriggled from Russell's knee and sat on the floor of the vehicle, squirming around. "Dominic, get up!" Ash dragged him onto her knee, he struggled and kicked her; she slapped out his leg. He began to cry. Russell took him back and held him.

"Hey, Ash, calm down. He's only a baby."

She bit her lip; he could see she was near to tears herself. Then she curled up round Dominic and in Russ's arms too.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to hurt you. Russ, I can't...I'm on a knife edge."

"Want to talk?"

She shook her head. "Not here. But I'm as jumpy as he is. I just want to get out of here and somewhere private."

They checked into a suite at the Dorchester. Ash hated the place but he always stayed there; they were experts at handling celebrities. The next two days were difficult. Ash spent a lot of her time out and about; she shopped and visited galleries and museums, unwilling to spend any more time in the rarefied atmosphere of the suite than was necessary. It was always full of people, most of them she didn't know; it felt like a royal court in session.

The only time they found themselves alone was late at night and neither had the energy for soul searching. It was beginning to affect everything. Ash seemed uninterested in sex; he wanted it more than ever. Men and woman - do they ever hit the same plateau at the same time? He needed her physically because it was the only sure way he could reach her when she was so uncommunicative. He wanted to show her that he loved her in the only way he knew how. Ash was too drained to be able to respond, unsure herself what was affecting her in this way.

The day of the visit dawned. Her Mum and Dad were flying down, Mark would collect them from City Airport, and they had been booked into a room at the same hotel. The plan was to meet in the late afternoon when Dominic would still be awake and it would give them time to play with him. Later they planned a dinner somewhere discreet where they might talk about the future.

Brigid and Aidan Connor were led past the security to the inner suite. It was an experience alien to them and Aidan was not a man who adjusted well to feeling out of his depth. He was already unwilling to accept this man as his son-in-law, hated to think his family might be exposed to this shallow celebrity nonsense and already his temper was up. His wife was merely shy and uncomfortable at the opulence and attention.

Entering the lounge, Dominic recognised them and went hurtling towards the door to throw himself on them. He had grown. His hair was fairer, streaked with gold where he had been in the sun and his face and body lightly tanned. They swung him round and he giggled and babbled, a thousand things tumbling out, mostly making little sense.

Ash stood behind, smiling at them. They looked up and her father grabbed her and swung her about too. His eyes wet with tears. Brigid cried openly.

"It's so good to see you, Aisling my darling! And Dominic looks so well! I've missed the pair of you!" Her mother gasped through sobs and sniffles.

"I'm fine. It's good to be with you too. So good to be home."

"What have you done to your hair?" Her father surveyed her critically.

"I needed a change of image. More sophisticated, I think- what d'you reckon, Mum?" Ash turned to her mother and struck a pose.

"Very nice." Her mother gave a rather non-committal reply.

"Your natural colour suits you better. You look like one of those fashion bimbos. Who encouraged you to do that?" Her father added in a poorly veiled insinuation, making eye contact with the third member of the family.

Russell stood at the back of the room and lit a cigarette. He knew he shouldn't smoke in front of Dominic but he felt a mood rising in him and it was an instinctive attempt to calm himself down. He felt excluded, unwanted and had a vibe that this interview was not going to play as he wished it to. And he did not like it when people did not dance to his tune.

"Mum. Dad. Please. I must introduce you to Russell," Ash escaped their embraces and pulled her mother over to where he stood while Dominic did the same to his grandfather. Russell stayed leaning against the wall, smoking and not giving a very good initial impression. Ash had a sudden desire to kick him hard. Why did he do this kind of thing?

With a shrug, he moved from the wall and came forward to shake hands. He was polite but not very forthcoming, just a shake of his head and a mumbled welcome.

"Nana. This is my Dad!" Dominic said proudly, climbing all over Russell who swung him up and upended him. Then Dominic stared to cough and wheeze. The smoke and the inverted position were affecting him.

"Put that fag out, Russ!" Ash whispered and although he complied, she could see she had embarrassed him. She rushed to hand over the inhaler which Russell held for Dominic - he was already proficient in its use.

"So, you are the father, are you?" Aidan Connor was not a man to mince his words. 

Russell nodded.

"There's more to being a father than..." Aidan stopped but his implication was obvious... "biology".

"Dad. Please." Ash looked at her mother who merely shrugged.

"I'm not beating about the bush, Aisling. This man gets you into trouble and deserts you then suddenly shows up and wants to pick up where he left off? What I want to know is what guarantees does my daughter have that you aren't going to change your mind when some little tart catches your eye?"

Russell stared at Aidan with a cold expression. How many people these days spoke to Russell Crowe like this and survived? "I have asked your daughter to marry me and she has accepted. The rest is between Ash and me. But I promise that I will look after her. Give me a chance, mate..." He held out his hands.

"I'm not your, mate." Aidan replied. "I don't even like you. You're not good enough for my daughter. From what I can see, you are a selfish, arrogant boor who treats other people with disdain and has an over-inflated sense of his own importance. Add to that the fact that you're a womaniser, a heavy drinker and a rabble-rouser - and it makes you a very unappealing prospect indeed. God knows what kind of father you'll make to this child."

Russell looked across at Ash seeking some kind of response from her but she merely stood pale-faced and said nothing. He handed Dominic to her. "Take him!"

Walking towards the exit, picking up his wallet and phone he made for the door. He didn't even change his clothes. Ash ran after him and caught up with him in the anteroom. "Russ, don't walk out! He's a mean son of a bitch in this mood. But he can be reached. Give me time. He's just concerned about us."

"It's a fucking good job for him that he is your father. But that's the last time he speaks to me like that. Get him out of my suite. I don't give a fuck whether he likes me or not. But if I stay in the same room as him I'm likely to blow and you don't want that happening. Thanks for your support, by the way. I really appreciated it in there." Russell pushed her away and stormed out.

Ash returned to the lounge, as ashen as her name. She sat down and pulled a rather confused Dominic onto her lap.

"Why Daddy angry, Mum?" Dominic asked.

"He's not angry, love. He's got to go and see someone."

"Why Gramps angry?"

Ash looked at her father. "Go on. You answer him. Because I can't! How dare you do that to my fiancé and me? How dare you treat him like that!  I am thirty-two years of age. I am an educated and intelligent woman. He is the man I have loved for years. Do you think I cannot be trusted to make my own mind up? I do not care about your opinion! But I expect your support in this difficult time in our lives. And to insult him before his own son! How dare you!"

Ash spoke quietly but her voice was choked with anger and tears. This is what she had feared. Her father was essentially a man like Russell. Tough, uncompromising and used to getting his own way, prepared to browbeat others if necessary. He loved his family and would fight to control his own.

"You are my daughter! How do you expect me to feel?" He insisted.

"Happy for me? Delighted that I had at last found the man I need? Pleased that I am in love with a strong and brilliant man who will love me and protect me? You don't even know him, for God's sake! He's not a tabloid caricature. He's a real person who won my heart and fathered my son. Either accept that - or get out!"

Brigid took a stunned Dominic from his mother and carried him to the bedroom where she played with him. The room was full of toys and the signs of a young family. The bed was unmade, there were clothes scattered around, books and music CDs littering the floor. Typical of Aisling and her chaotic housekeeping! Not the sort of room you would expect a Hollywood bad boy to be living in. It made her think. Maybe underneath they were just a young couple trying to make a life together in a rather surreal world.

Ash and Aidan faced each other. "I don't want to hurt you. But his track record..."

"What track record? What do you really know about him? Do you normally believe The Sun? He's had a few love affairs over the years. So have I. I was no virgin when I met him, Dad!" Her father winced at that. "He drinks more than he should at times. He has a temper. Sometimes he behaves in a way he shouldn't - but usually because people set out to provoke him. He's a sitting target. Anyone can knock him down. Do you know how he feels now? To have to sit and listen to you insult him like that and watch me stand by and say nothing? I held my tongue out of respect for you because you are my father. But he won't see it like that! I swear if you fuck this up for me, Dad - I'll never fucking speak to you again!"

Her father stood aghast at her words. "So I see you've picked up some nice vocabulary from the foul-mouthed bastard!"

"NO! I knew those words before and have used them too - but rarely have I felt the need to use them against you. And if you must know he's not a bastard. But Dominic is. And Russ is trying to make things right. I would have thought you would have respected him for that at least." Ash was pacing the room, trying hard not to cry but beginning to lose the battle.

"Let's put things bluntly, seeing as you want it so. He had his way with you and left you up the spout. Now he wants his kid. He doesn't want you. He'll marry you, whore around with his fancy women and then when he's had enough, he'll boot you out and get some hotshot lawyer to take Dominic from you. Open your eyes, Aisling! Get out while you still can. He'll have to settle enough money on you for a decent life and you can start again here back home with your family!"

The raised voices had disturbed Dominic and he came running back to his mother. Ash choked on her sobs and held onto her son. "I love him. He loves me. We both love our son. What else can anyone say? I cannot give him up. I will not ever stand by and hear you humiliate him again. Suit yourself, Dad. You always do anyway. Tear up the family. See if that makes you feel any better."

She walked through to her room and slammed the door, leaving her parents in the outer room. Throwing herself on her bed, Dominic clinging to her, she cried her eyes out wrapped in the sheets where they had slept the night before and not even touched each other. What was the matter with her? It was all so clear now. It didn't matter what anyone else thought or said. He was her man and she his woman and they would bring up their child as best they could together - damn the rest of the fucking world!

Hours later Ash finally dropped to sleep. Some sort of reconciliation had been reached. Brigid had spoken to Aidan and they had both approached their daughter. Aidan promised to apologise and make some amends to Crowe (as he insisted on calling Russell) as long as he did not put on that truculent manner with them. They would not refuse to attend the wedding and insisted that for Dominic's sake there would be no more raised voices.

"Dominic's frightened by it all. The last few months had been complex and challenging for him. Dom has done so well and Russ and he adore each other. I don't know what must be going on in his mind now he sees this sort of thing happen between people he cares about," Ash had pleaded with her parents.

So they had taken dinner in the suite and Dominic had relaxed and finally gone to sleep. The family talked over a bottle of wine and Ash filled them in on things about her time in Baja and the earlier years of their affair.

"Why did he leave you, Ash? If you were so in love with each other, it doesn't make sense," her mother asked.

"It's private. Not something I can discuss. But I hurt him and he doesn't handle what he perceives to be rejection very well. He was cruel and vindictive but he had his reasons and he honestly didn't know about Dominic. In retrospect that was a bad mistake on my part. He had a right to know. I saved my own feelings at his expense. The strange thing is, his parents view me now in much the same way that you view him."

That threw them. How could anyone react to their daughter as an unsuitable bride for their son? But it made them think and realise that Russell Crowe was a person with a life and family of his own, not simply some monster that had carried off their precious girl.

It was after midnight when Ash went to bed and tried to ring him. She had no idea where he had gone but her radar suggested he would be in a dangerous mood. Angry, hurt, rejected and confused on top of the fact that he was tired and anxious himself. His phone rang for a long time before it was answered. It was Mark.

"He's with some people. Says he'll see you later."

"It's late already. I'm going to bed. Is everything all right?"

"He's smashed. Nothing new there, though," Mark replied.

"Is he 'happy' smashed or 'foul-mouthed and ignorant' smashed?" Ash inquired.

"He's on the edge. I'll keep an eye out..." The background voices made it hard to hear and she could imagine Russell being rowdy and obnoxious, almost asking someone to take him on.

"Thanks anyway. Get him home soon, please, if you can."

Ash lay awake for a long time waiting for the sound of voices and his drunken return. But eventually she fell asleep. About five she woke, disturbed when Dominic cried out in his sleep; he wanted settling and some water. Russell was nowhere to be seen. Crossing the lounge to the kitchen with a dull sense of impending dread, Ash almost stumbled across him, lying asleep half on and off the couch. He must have slumped down and gone straight off, too drunk even to find the bed. Relief swept over her; the niggling sense that he might have picked up someone and had a one night stand had been looming somewhere in her subconscious mind.

She sorted Dominic out; he settled quickly and then returned to where Russell was lying.

"Russ! Wake up! Come to bed! You can't sleep there." He was comatose and made no move. Ash shook him hard and he began to stir; she could smell drink on his breath. "Russ, please wake up! I can't get you to bed unless you walk yourself!"

Russell began to pull himself to a seated position, his hands rubbing his face, muttering incoherently to himself. She tugged on his arm and he eventually staggered to his feet but he was unsteady and slumped against her, almost overbalancing her under the dead weight of his body. Moving quickly to throw the impetus of his slumping forward, she managed to walk him to the bedroom, but it was clear that he was very drunk and practically out for the count. Ash sat him on the bed and he threw himself back, already falling back to sleep. She unlaced his boots and pulled them off, shoving his socks inside them and tossing them away. Then she tried to remove his flannel shirt but it was hard to get it off his shoulders without his help. It was like dealing with Dominic on a much larger scale. Eventually she managed to struggle his arms out and pull his T- shirt over his head. Her manoeuvring must have disturbed him for he shouted out as she ripped it from his head as if she had hurt him.

Unbuckling his belt and unfastening the buttons on his jeans she eased them from him and pulled them off his legs. Suddenly, he lurched forward and grunted, "I wanna piss." He tried to raise himself but needed help to do so and again she stumbled him to the bathroom, snapping on the light. It was then she saw his face.

"My God, Russ! What has happened to your face?" His eye was badly bruised and slightly grazed.

The bright light of the bathroom seemed to rouse him. He shrugged her off and urinated messily still swaying a little but his eyes were beginning to focus.

"Whassa fucking time?" He asked.

"About five."

"Fuck!"

Russell finished and lurched towards the sink, catching a look at himself in the mirror- it was not a pretty sight. He groaned and ran his hands back through his hair.

"Russ, what happened?"

"Fight."

"A fight?" 

"Yeah, a fight," He spoke in a mocking tone of shock horror. Suddenly he backed her against the wall and made as if to kiss her, fondling her breasts.

"Push off, Russ! You stink of booze and fags. And in your current state, you'll never get it up, so don't even try. Come on, let's get you to bed." He didn't argue, merely following her back and allowing her to tuck him in. She returned to the bathroom and ran a glass of water for him. Back at the bed, she managed to get him up to take a drink but he spilled most of it on the coverlet. She let him lie down and he was soon asleep. Only then did she begin to contemplate what he had got up to during his night out. It was all they needed now.

"Mum! Dad!" Dominic came bounding in at some ungodly hour. Actually it was nine; he had slept in for once after his late night with Nana and Granddad. Ash groaned as he climbed onto the bed. He made straight for Russell. Ash had visions of a semiconscious Russell swatting him away and sending him flying; that would be the icing on the cake - press accusations of child abuse. She jumped up to intercept him but was too late. Dominic had climbed up and run over his father's body, actually standing on his groin to get to him. Russell grunted and rolled into a ball, knocking Dominic off balance but fortunately he fell forward onto Ash rather than the floor.

"Dom! Don't stand on Dad!"

Russell had pulled his legs up and moaned. "Fuck!" but began to wake up.

"Dad said 'Fuck'," Dominic replied, "Naughty word."

"He's half asleep. You are not. Don't say it!" Ash warned him.

"Why?"

"It's naughty."

"Why?"

"Don't start the 'Why?' game at this time in the morning!" Ash shouted. Russell was rubbing himself and stirring. He rolled back his head and shoved his hair from his eyes. Dominic immediately noticed his face. The little boy leaped forward and grabbed his father's head in his hands; Russell winced slightly.

"Dad! You got a poorly face." He said fascinated. "Mum, Dad's got a hurting face." 

"I know. Leave him to sleep. He's very tired."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why his face hurting?" 

Ash thought. "Dad fell over and bumped into the wall."

Dominic laughed at that but it answered his question. By then Russell was awake although somewhat quiet.

"You OK?" Ash asked quietly.

"My fucking head's banging. My mouth tastes like the inside of a donkey's arse." 

Ash grinned despite herself. You couldn't argue with his imagery.

"Dad! I want to poo," Dominic was out of bed and running to the bathroom.

"I'll take you. Dad's too sleepy," Ash replied.

"NO! Dad!" Dominic always nominated someone to do the honours and hated if he was thwarted. He seemed to regard wiping his bum as a privilege handed out to very honoured adults and expected them to treat it as such.

Surprisingly Russell began to swing his legs out of the bed. "I need to pee anyway." He followed his son, "Wait Dom, let me wee first." He urinated with more control than the night before while Dominic jiggled about holding his bottom.

"Dad! You've got a lot of wee wee."

"Yeah, mate," Russell shivered as he finished and swung his son up to the seat.

"Dad? Mummy doesn't have a willy." Russell was examining his eye in the mirror. The intervening hours had only increased the rainbow effect even more.

"No, she's a girl."

"Dad? Who cut it off?" Dominic was away on one of his flights of fancy.

Russell looked at him bemused. "What are you going on about?"

"Mum's willy."

"She doesn't have one, she's a girl. Girls don't have them."

"Does Mum wee?"

Russell groaned and ran his hands over his face. He was not in the mood for a biology lesson this morning. "Yeah, mate, she wees."

"How?"

"Out of her bum."

"Her bum? Like poo?" Dominic chortled in surprise.

"NO! Dominic, will you give it a rest? Have you finished yet?"

"Does she have a tiny, tiny, little willy?" He went on, his fingers demonstrating his meaning of tiny.

"No."

"But where does her wee come from?" He was not taking no for answer.

"Ask Mum, mate. I don't know the answer." Russell tried feigning ignorance.

"Mum? Can I see your bum?" Dominic shouted into the bedroom.

"What are you two talking about?" Ash came in, laughing. "No, you can't. Boys can't ask ladies to show them their bottoms!" Russell grinned despite his thumping head.

"Why?"

"If he asks 'Why?' once again..." Russell mumbled as he brushed his teeth and gargled.

"Dad! I've finished!" Dominic concluded, momentarily forgetting his quest for information on the mysteries of the female anatomy. Ash giggled and left them to it. This was what they were about. Whatever Russell had done the night before this was their real life - not the rest of the public nonsense. She simply made her mind up there and then to ignore it all. Frankly, she had little interest in what had occurred. He would only have a slim memory of the events anyway and was bound to have been mostly culpable in the frame of mind and state of inebriation he had been in. Ash bet he had behaved like a spoilt kid. It was one of his less appealing but more convincing performances when he was in that mood. On top of that, the press would go to town and embellish the actual events for all it was worth. The two of them would get their payback for the Four Seasons caper. But nobody would have the faintest idea what had really been fuelling his anger. Good. The day anyone in the media got the true picture of them would be the day Ash would really start to worry.

Russell carried Dominic out of the bathroom, threw him on the bed and jumped in himself. "Right, I'm getting some serious kip. Dominic- you wake me up again - I'm liable to eat you whole! So go somewhere and do something quietly. Ash, he has been warned!"

She laughed and chased Dominic out of the bedroom while Russell rolled over and settled down. "C'mon Tiger. Let's leave 'Mr. Can't Hold His Drink' alone for a few hours. Breakfast first and then we'll find a nice cartoon to watch. One with very loud songs...!"