I finally relented after literally months, possibly years, even, of both Russell and Lily begging me to let her begin to learn to ride. Lil's been riding horses since before she could walk, actually, as has Tyler, and, I imagine, the twins will be, but Russell's been wanting to teach her to without either of us on there with her. She's very responsible and has a wonderful rapport with all animals, but I always had these visions of my small daughter being trampled to death beneath the hooves of a rampaging animal. Never mind that all of our horses would probably lay down their very lives for any of ours, they're all that gentle and that devoted to us.

This has resulted in the two of them going off for a couple of hours nearly every morning or afternoon, sometimes both, as Lily's quite taken with it. This has also resulted in severely ruffled feathers on Tyler's part, and I can't say I blame the little guy. He always wants to be right in the thick of things, too, and he doesn't understand why, at not quite yet three years old, Mum says absolutely not and even Daddy doesn't think he's ready for the big time as a rider yet. He loves helping me with the babies, and I try to think of fun and wonderful things for the two of us to do together, but it's starting to chafe at him and I don't know what to do anymore.

I bring that up with my husband one night after all four children have been put to bed. It's not that Russell's completely unobservant where any of them are concerned, on the other hand, he's an extremely involved father and he's noticed this, too, but something's got to be done before my son turns into a tantrum-filled toddler. "He feels left out," I tell him. "And, I feel badly for him, because he's smack-dab in the middle and for him, that's a pretty awful place to be. Lil's got her riding lessons with you, and her writing with me, and then the twins need both of our attention...he's kind of on his own."

"We agreed he's too young yet for riding lessons, Liss." 

"You wanted to stick Lil on a horse by herself before she was even two," I remind him. 

"Lissy," he gives me that Look, "they are two entirely different children altogether." 

I have to agree. Lily's calm, whereas my boy is...well, he's a bit boisterous. He's actually quite well-mannered on a horse but I understand Russell's reasoning. He wants Tyler to mature just a bit before letting him take the reins, literally and figuratively. "Well, anyway," I tell him, "I've decided I'm taking him out tomorrow."

"Out where?"

I give him a DUH! sort of look. "Shopping. No, out-out, the two of us, the great outdoors, on Sugar. I think that will mellow him out and make him happy...it's sure going to help make ME happy, since I'm the one who has to deal with him...your parents are going to come take care of Em and Jaden while you teach Lil riding."

"Sweetheart," Russell warns, and I feel the beginnings of a...discussion...brewing, "going out, as you so quaintly put it, around here, is not like taking him to the park, you know. There're things you've got to be careful of and look out for."

We haven't had a spat in some time and it's not like I'm looking to start one now, but damn it, I hate it when he's being patronizing, something he doesn't do too often. For good reason. "Excuse me, Crocodile Dundee, but I'm a grown girl and I think I can take care of myself. And I think I can manage to look after our son, too. It's not like we're going on safari, big-game hunting, either, you know."

I can't tell by the look in his eyes whether he's getting mad or he's amused. "Next thing you know, you'll be wanting to work cattle, too," he says. Then he immediately looks guilty for letting that come right out of his mouth. He's got a knack for that, speaking first and thinking afterwards.

"Try me," I tell him coldly. Not that I have a high opinion of myself but I think I could at least hold my own.  

"Liss," he tries to climb out of it, "you're tough and strong, and I still stand by what I said after we delivered Junior, that I'd gladly have you ride with me any day. But..."

"But," I finish for him, "what I'm REALLY good for is 'womanly' stuff like babies and cooking and housework, is that it?"

"Damn it, Lissy, that's not what I mean." He glances over at the bassinette where Jaden and Emily are fast asleep. 

"They're not going to wake up for at least a couple more hours, if that's what you're hoping for," I tell him. 

"I don't want to fight with you." Now he looks desperate, something that would amuse me if I wasn't so rankled right now.

"I don't want to fight with you, either. Look, I know you worry, and I know you're already praying we both come back alive. But I also know how to handle myself and I can look out for Tyler, too. He's a smart kid; you've taught both of them and you've taught me. Snakes are bad. All bugs should be left alone. If we don't know what something is, we don't touch it. Look out for wild animals. Don't get trampled by cows. I'm not looking to be the winner of "Survivor: Australian Outback, Pt.2"...all I was thinking of is taking our son out for an hour or two riding without getting into trouble."

I know he's capitulated when he sort of gets that half-smile and says, "Well, don't bring home any newborn calves this time, all right?"

The Battle of the Sexes has come to a truce. At least for now. 

Next morning, we have brekkie together as a family and then I feed the twins before Russell's parents get here. 

Lily's already in her riding clothes, ready to go out with her dad; and as soon as Jaden and Emmy are settled with their grandparents, I look at my disappointed son. "Tyler, go get your riding clothes on, too. You're going out with me today."

He looks joyfully surprised. "I am?"

"Yep, we're gonna go out riding, just the two of us...Nana made us a lunch to take and it'll be fun..." my words trail off because he's already out of the room. Russell has to smile at his excitement. "I'll get Suge ready for you," he tells me, which is his male way of saying I-don't-have-to-approve-but-I'm-resigned;-at-least-I'm-going-to-make-sure-you've-got-everything-you-need.

Russell's dad chuckles; he knows his own son too well so he's probably figured what went on when I told him of my plan last night. "Talked him into it, did you?"

"I didn't talk him into anything, Dad, I TOLD him." I look at Mum. Men! the look clearly states, and we both smile this conspiratorial smile. 

"You know," Dad goes on, "that he's probably going to give you supplies to last three days, not to mention weaponry to defend you against any sort of invasion?"

"I," I reiterate firmly, "can take care of us, Dad. Thanks." He winks at me; unlike Russell he knows not to mess with me when I've got a mindset. Tyler comes running back, in boots, jeans, flannie and hat. We both kiss Nana and Papa goodbye and then, with Tyler holding my hand and the lunch his grandmother packed in the other, we go off to get Sugar and head on out.

Lily's sitting on the fence watching her dad check over my horse one final time. I don't know what he expects we'll be doing, but he's got a coil of rope as well as, when I go to put lunch in the saddlebag, a blanket, a rather large pocketknife, and what looks suspiciously like a first aid kit. Not to mention assorted other paraphernalia that I'm sure I'd rather not examine too closely. He lifts Tyler up for me and then gives me a kiss. "Be careful, have fun," he tells both of us.

"Bye, Dad!" Tyler's gleeful at going. "Bye, Lil!"

Lily looks almost disappointed she's staying home. "Bye," she tells us both, wistfully. 

I mount up behind my son and we're off. 

It's a beautiful day, and I'm glad I decided to take Tyler out; because he's so happy I have to firmly wrap one arm around him to keep him from bouncing off Sugar in his excitement. As always, he tries to get her to go faster by nudging her with his feet, but she's so used to him by now that she keeps on at the pace I've set for her and does her best to pretend he's not there annoying the spit out of her.

I love this, love the freedom of being on my horse, here on this land I've grown to love so much, and the feel of my little boy, warm and squirmy and solid in my arms. His joy is infectious. And, as is the case whenever I go anywhere with my children or have a chance to experience things from their perspective, I so enjoy seeing the world through their eyes. It's wondrous and often amusing.

Tyler does a running commentary on our surroundings; pointing out trees and plants, birds and interesting sights along the way. He's also bursting with questions, and it's all I can do to keep up and give appropriate responses.

"Mommy, why is the sky blue?"

"Do horses ever wish they were people?"

"How come birds fly and we can't?"

"Can you fall off the world if it's round?"

"Did God make snakes bad on purpose?"

"When leaves come off of trees, does it hurt them?"

I wonder where he comes up with these things but try my best to answer each one to my utmost ability; this seems to satisfy him but I swear I can hear the gears in his little mind cranking furiously and then he asks some more. But this has always been one of the things I love the most about him, his immense love of life and his innate curiosity, so I listen patiently and then try to provide him with answers.

As petty as it is, I'm still sort of irked at my husband for his pseudo-macho attitude, so as we ride along, I have to ask my son, "Tyler, do you think Mommy's good at taking care of things?" Call me pathetic; now I have to have validation from a three year old child.

"Yep," he reassures me. "You take care of me, and Lil, and Jay-Jay, and Memmy, Mama. And Daddy, too," he reminds. 

"And Daddy, too," I muse to myself. "He'd do good to remember that now and again." 

"What?" Tyler's only half-listening. 

"Nothing," I tell him. My mind's now working overtime because I remember overhearing something I heard Russell tell one of the men yesterday, how there were about a dozen head of cattle they separated from the rest and put over in a different spot because they had to round them up and bring them in to do something; I think they were getting vaccinated or something equally unpleasant. I heard my husband tell them not to worry about it just yet; they'd do it in the next few days. I've now gotten one of those mindsets I'm rapidly becoming notorious for. "Son, we're gonna go bring in Daddy's cows for him," I tell my boy confidently.

"We are?" he exclaims, excitedly. Even Sugar kind of falters for a sec, ears pricked back, like, we're gonna do WHAT??? But she'd do anything I asked her to, and I know it. I'm kind of astonished at this crazy scheme I've come up with, myself, but I've got this urge to show him what I'm capable of. Either he's gonna be mighty impressed or he's gonna kill me, I'm sure.

"Yes, we can do it, can't we?" I ask Tyler. But, he's the most adventurous of all of my children, and I didn't have to ask. "We can do it, I know we can," he tells me proudly, with his utmost confidence. I change course; the paddock where they're keeping the cattle isn't far off, I know exactly where, and it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Should it?

Now that our adventure has a definite purpose, Tyler's really excited. He keeps practicing his best cowboy yell---"Yee haw!"---over and over until Sugar finally snorts a warning and I have to shush him up. "Are we going to get to rope 'em, Mommy?" he wants to know.

"Not unless there's trouble," I tell him. "No, we're just going to bunch them up together and drive them to home, like usual." Sure, like this is an activity I do every single day, like I was on McLeod's Daughters or something. And after I do this, I'm going to fix the fence line, dig a well, and raise a barn, all with the help of my small son, of course. Because I am Super Mum, and I can do it all. But just as discouragement starts to creep in, I think of Tyler's disappointment if I tell him we're not doing this after all, and I think of the look on Russell's face if we do, and it fires up my resolve. I will not let down The Men in My Life. "Sugar's a pretty good cutting horse; she'll keep them in line," I say, patting my faithful companion on the neck. She tosses her head and I swear she actually prances at my praise. We all need reassurance now and again. Some of us more than others, I'm afraid.

Since we're going to need sustenance to bring home a dozen head of cattle, and we've already gone a fair distance, I suggest we stop and eat our lunch, and since Tyler is at that stage where he's perpetually hungry, he readily agrees. We find a nice spot to spread out our blanket and eat the sandwiches Nana made for us, looking and feeling fine in our boots and hats. Tyler tells me how he hopes that we'll have to rope one of the cows, because he'll do it, all by himself. He's got enough enthusiasm that he just might.

I'm packing us up while making him promise to stay close by when he says conversationally, "Mommy, a snake!"

My blood runs cold. Now, from the time both he and Lily were able to walk, pretty much, Russell taught them to be aware of their surroundings, always, and never, ever touch any bugs or snakes. He's taught me too, which didn't take much, because I don't like creepy, crawly critters anyhow. I look frantically around and find a big branch nearby, as big around as my arm, but I heft it like a baseball bat. "Tyler, stay absolutely still," I warn, walking very slowly to where he's standing, looking at the grass in fascination. "Where is it?"

"Oh, it's not by me, Mama." He points. "Over there." 

There's something brown and coiled a short distance away. Without even thinking, I sneak up behind it, raising the branch high over my head, and beat it over and over into submission. When I look closer, to make sure it's good and dead, my heart starts beating normally again. "It's not a snake, peanut." I raise it to show him. "It's an old leftover piece of rope." Dropping the branch, I come to him, holding him in my arms, though, hugging him. "But, you did exactly the right thing, you stood still, and you're looking all around to make sure every thing's okay and I'm proud of you." I lift him onto Sugar and climb up behind.

"In answer to what you asked me before," I tell him, "God didn't make snakes bad on purpose. In fact, I think there are probably some snakes that do good things for the earth. But, there aren't many of them around here, and I have to say, if they are going to hurt anyone, I'm gonna kill them."

"You were brave, Mommy, really, really brave." He's suitably impressed. 

"I'm hoping that will be all I have to be brave about today, buddy, a piece of rope," I tell him honestly. "Let's go get those cows, shall we?"

We come up over a small rise and there they are. I count, just to make sure, Tyler counting aloud with me, since he's just learned going to ten. But there's an even dozen, and I feel a small bit of pride we're to this point already.

However, I guess they meant a baker's dozen, since there's one cow standing anxiously apart from the rest, mooing plaintively, and when we dismount and go to see what her problem is, I see what I presume to be her offspring, stuck in a muddy, wet shallow gully up to the middle of its legs. It's fighting to get out and be with its mum, which is only making it agitated and making the problem worse.

"He's stuck!" Tyler, although sympathetic to the calf's plight, is excited. "Can we rope him and pull him out?"

"We'll only do that if we have to, sweetie," I tell him. "Don't think we can pull it with a rope, and Sugar might pull too hard and hurt him." I sigh. "I'm going to have to go in there and haul him out myself."

"I'll do it!" He loves anything having to do with dirt or mud. I shake my head. "No, you can stay right there and watch...the last thing I want is to have to pull you out, too." He's highly disappointed but stays obediently where I left him as I gingerly pick my way down the slight incline. "Mind the mum cow, Tyler." Sugar takes it upon herself to mind my son, I note with some amusement as she positions herself between him and the mother.

I step in...The mud is gooey although not too thick, but to a calf that's wallowed about, I imagine it would be. Though I'm willing to jump in and get myself dirty---I'm a mother of four, after all---it's still unpleasant. "Always rescuing calves," I mutter to myself. "Always taking care of you little beasts...as if I didn't have my own kids to look after..." but the little one is sweet and after I pat it and reassure it, it calms down. There's still a bit of thrashing as I wrap my arms around it and extricate it from the mud, but it lets me pull it free and then I set it on the bank while I extricate myself. Tyler's clapping. "You rescued it!"

There's a moment's respite while I try to get the worst of the goo off of me, and then I have to help the small wayward clamor up the embankment to its mum. After checking it over to make sure it's okay, they're off to join the rest of the herd. I sigh again and then turn to my son. "Tyler?"

The little scamp's wandered off. I scan the herd quickly to make sure he's not riding one of them, and then scan the ground to make sure his small, lifeless body isn't being trampled under restless hooves. "TYLER CROWE!" I cry, feeling panic.

"Over here, Mama!" I see him now, standing on a big, flat rock, waving his hat at me. Shaking my head, I'm headed to fetch him, when one of the cows breaks from the herd and starts making his way to him at a trot. "Tyler!" I scream again, fresh panic rising rapidly within me. "DON'T MOVE!"

Fumbling in the saddlebag, I come up with the first thing I touch that would conceivably make a weapon of some sort, the large folding knife Russell gave me. Although it's pitiful against an animal of this size. Tyler's still standing on the rock, watching the beast come towards him without fear.

"Get away!" I'm stalking rapidly through the grass, clutching the knife in my fist. It's coming closer and closer to my child, and I have to stop it, my wild imagination picturing it flinging my son into the air, stomping on him again and again. "Get away from my baby, you horrible..."

"Mommy!" Tyler's inexplicably cheerful in the face of danger. "It's our cow!"

The cow swings its head around to me and I actually recognize the calf Russell sort of named Junior. It's all dark except for a white blotch over its left eye. Although in the few short weeks he's been apart from us, he's grown quite a bit. Junior looks surprised and then delighted to see me; he lets out a happy bellow and tosses his head.

"He knows you, Mama." Tyler laughs. "He knows me, too!" 

With shaking fingers I close the knife and stick it in my pocket. Junior comes over to me and I rub him between the eyes, his favorite spot. "You...you son of a..." realizing my own son's listening closely, I lamely finish, "You son of a...a heifer!! You almost became a Big Mac back there, you silly thing!"

Then I turn my attention to my boy. "Don't wander off, ever again, young man! You scared me!" To ease my scolding, I hug him much as I did with the snake fright. "I'm glad you're safe."

"He'd never hurt me," he says. Then, after the fact, he adds, "I'm not your baby, Mommy. I'm a big boy."

Semi-hysterical laughter bubbles up within me. "Of course you are, sweetheart." My legs are trembling so badly I have to sit down on the rock, Tyler in my lap, and Junior happily at our side.

"Lily will be glad to see him," Tyler tells me. "And Daddy, too." I don't know about Russell, but Lil will be delighted their now not-so-little pet has returned. 

"Yes, well, we'd better get them put altogether and start back, before your Dad worries and sends a search party after us," I tell him, standing. "Let's head back, mate."

Now that we've found the herd, my son is safe, without a hair on his precious, beautiful head harmed, and we've been reunited with...well, my adopted bovine son, I guess...we can head home. We've already been gone over the two hours I told Russell, and he'll have the entire Australian Police Force out looking for us if we don't get a move on. While he's always said he loves my spiritedness and my independent streak, I know there've been times he's regretted them, as well.

Luckily, with cows being cows, they pretty much know the routine; person or people on horses point them in a direction, and they go. The little one that got stuck in the mud is doing just fine keeping up, and of course Junior is right there with us as if he'd never left, completely unaware that I was about to chop him into fresh ground sirloin when I thought he was threatening my child.

I realize with a start, as we're meandering along, that I would have done just that if I'd had to, even with the poor defense of that knife, which seemed menacing enough when I first looked at it, but which I now see would have made a weak weapon against even a cow. But what Russell calls my incredibly fierce Mum instinct would have made me even take it on barehanded, if I even thought Tyler was one whit close to being in danger. The snake, too, if it had been a real one. Any creature, against any of my children. If it was just Russell and I, and he was being threatened, I'd probably do the same for him, too.

Whenever one of the cattle seems to stray, I quickly guide Sugar over to cut them off and bring them back in, and Tyler loves whooping and waving his arms. At one point, he glances at me over his shoulder. "I've had the most fun of my entire life, Mama!" he proclaims, and I have to smile. It's been an adventure and I suppose to an energetic child like he is, it's been the best kind.

It'd probably be easier with Russell along on Honey, or one of the dogs, but it's not too bad and I have to admit I think I'm doing a decent job. I wouldn't give Clancy of the Overflow a run for his money, but I could be a McLeod, I think, with pride. Russell teases me for watching that show and says you have to learn life in the bush by actually living it, not seeing people act it out on television, but I think I've picked up a thing or two, minus the overt drama. Although, my life can be dramatic enough for ten shows sometimes, I think.

"We're doin' good!" Tyler enthuses. 

"Do you think so?" I really need help, if I need this child to be my life-affirmer. 

Very logically he says, "You killed a snake."

"It was fake, peanut. It was a piece of rope." 

"You didn't know that." Then he says, "We found the cows." 

"Yes, we did do that, didn't we?" He nods. "And you saved the cow baby from drownin'."

I doubt the calf would have drowned but it DID need someone to come along, I suppose. I have to agree with that one, too. 

"And," he tells me, "when you thought our cow was gonna hurt me, you were gonna save me, too."

"I would have done that, for sure, sweetie." Hmm, not bad.

"AND," he finishes, "we haven't lost any and we're bringing them home with us. So, we are doin' REAL good, Mommy!" 

"Think your dad will be mad at me, son?" I need another male's opinion on this one, even if he is only a preschooler. 

"Why?" My little boy is my greatest champion. "I'm gonna tell him how brave you were, Mama."

Somehow that doesn't quite convince me. Russell's either going to think I'm bloody brilliant or he's going to think I'm an absolute dolt, I can sense it. 

To pass the time, I recite "The Man from Snowy River" to Tyler, to amuse him. Like any good Aussie (even the transplanted one I am), I've at least tried to memorize the entire thing by heart. After several lines, though, I forget exactly what comes next, so instead, I just give him a synopsis of the film version and he loves it. It's like a great bush fairy story to him.

"I wish I could ride with the brumbies," he comments, so I go on and tell him the story of The Silver Brumby next, although I leave out any reference to Russell whatsoever. His daddy's already his greatest hero without me adding any fictional cinematic exploits to his claim to fame. Besides, Tyler still can't quite differentiate between Daddy at Home and Daddy the Movie Actor...totally by mistake, he got a glimpse of Russell's fight scene with the tigers in Gladiator once and we had a hard time consoling him. Even though Russell was there with us, he was somehow convinced he was going to get eaten alive. I don't know what was worse, that or Lily telling him that it was completely fake but even if it was real, Daddy could take them all on. That's a lot to live up to, especially in the eyes of your own children.

We're in sight of the outlying buildings of the farm when Tyler points and waves. "Look! I see Daddy!" 

Just what I need. I know he was probably on his way out to hunt for us because he's fully mounted on Honey. We're far enough away that I can't read his mood but we ARE close enough that I can see his disbelief at seeing thirteen cows coming in ahead of us. Then he's coming up to join us and I brace myself for what's to come.

When he reins up alongside, without saying a word, he takes everything in...Junior, still contentedly near us, like a grateful pup, my muddiness from the knees down, and Tyler's utter, jubilant happiness. "Daddy, we brung your cows home!"

"So you did." 

Before I can say anything, he's rushing headlong on. "Mama said we would, to surprise you. And I thought I saw a snake, so she killed it...but it wasn't a snake at all. But we found the cows, only a baby was stuck in the mud so Mommy saved it...she went in and dug him out, and then I was on a rock, and our cow saw me and he knew it was me, Daddy! But Mama thought it was a bad cow so she was gonna attack him...so I had to tell her it was OUR cow...and then it was okay. Then, we got them all rounded up and we brung them home, like real cowboys, huh?" He takes a breath, and I look at my husband, who's still trying to absorb everything he's just heard, I think.

"Mum killed a fake snake and she was going to attack Junior?" he asks finally. 

Tyler nods. "But she didn't know it was fake when she killed it. She was so, SO brave. You should've seen her, Dad." 

He looks at me and I gaze back at him. He blinks and I sort of half-shrug. 

"I wouldn't expect anything else of your Mum," he tells our son, still looking with a kind of incredulity in my eyes. "Sounds like you two had a bunch of fun." 

"I wanna do it again!" 

"Well, I don't know about that," Russell says slowly, glancing at him and then looking at me in amazement once more. "But say, let's get the cattle in the pen and then go to the house and grab a bite, and you can tell your sister this whole thing, okay?"

"Okay!" He's eager to relate his exploits, I can tell. So together we round up every last one, even a reluctant Junior, and get them safely penned and ready for whatever is going to get done with them tomorrow. With Tyler's help, we get both horses unsaddled, rubbed down, fed, watered, and settled in, and then, with him in between us hand-in-hand, we head to the house.

Throughout this entire process, he says nothing more about all that Tyler's told him, and it's nearly impossible to interpret his mood. I've gotten really good at this over the years, but even I can't discern what he's thinking and feeling just now. It's not that he's not speaking to me, but when he does, it's casual things here and there and I get the strong sense he's trying to figure out exactly WHAT he wants to say to me later.

When we go in the house, both Tyler and I go upstairs immediately to change, and then, all of us are settled in the great room, Emmy at my breast and Jaden happily taking his bottle with his dad, to tell the family about our adventure today.

I let our son tell the whole thing and he's thrilled to be, literally, the center of attention as he stands in the middle of the floor to relate his tale. Forget all of Russell's awards and stuff for his acting; our son is the real dramatist in the family, I've decided, watching him animatedly describe events as only he can. As he's talking, I steal glances at my husband now and again but I still can't tell what's going through his mind. It's beginning to drive me crazy.

"An' we ate lunch, and then, Mommy was puttin' stuff back on Sugar, and I thought I saw a SNAKE!" This, I think, is his favorite part. "An' I told her, and she found this big stick, and she went like this," (he raises his arms over his head in imitation of me with the branch), "and she went BAM! BAM! BAM!" (Each time pretending to bash an imaginary creature into oblivion), "and it would have been squooshed. But it wasn't a snake, it was some rope! But Mama was brave, 'cause she didn't know and if it was a real one, it coulda hurt us." He looks around at everyone for a proper reaction.

Alex, Jocelyn, and Russell are all silent and just staring, first at him, then at me, unsure of exactly HOW to react. Lil's mouth is slightly hanging open, her dark eyes as huge as saucers. Even Emmy's gone still in my arms, and Jaden's stopped feeding in Russell's, both of them gazing with that slightly unfocused baby look at their brother.

"I'm glad you're both all right," Mum finally says. 

"Yes, you could have gotten hurt," is Dad's response. "I'm glad it wasn't real." 

"Good thing my mom was there!" Tyler exclaims cheerily.

"Mmm," is all Russell says. He looks at me and enigmatically raises an eyebrow.

Lil can't say a word. She merely snuggles in closer against me and I comfortingly lean over to kiss the top of her head in reassurance. 

"THEN," Tyler continues, "We found the cows! But one was stuck in the mud, he was just a baby. Mama said she would go in and get him, 'cause if Sugar pulled with the rope, she might hurt him. So she went in the mud, and got all dirty," he sounds wistful at this part, that he missed out on that himself, "and she got him out. I went to go stand on this big huge rock, and Mommy thought I'd got lost. So she yelled for me, and then she saw me. And so did our cow!" At the mention of Junior, Lily's face lights up and she raptly listens to the next part. "Yep, it was our cow, Lil!" he tells her excitedly. "He saw me, too, so he came over to say hi. BUT, Mama thought it was a bad, mad cow, so she got real upset and got Daddy's knife out and was gonna ATTACK him, like this..." he makes frantic stabbing motions reminiscent of the film Psycho. Lily gasps and looks at me almost accusingly and Russell is now just gazing at me wholeheartedly, with that unreadable poker face of his. I try my best to concentrate on Emily, who's nursing at my other breast, and try not to notice either of them. "So, I told her it was our cow! And she stopped, 'cause he looked at her and she knew it was, too. She was kinda mad, 'cause I wandered off."

"We've told you to stay where we know you are, son," Russell says. There's a sort of spark in his eyes directed towards me as if to say, and I've told you the same thing, too, haven't I? I'd almost feel better right now if he just started berating me in front of his parents and our children. At least I'd have some notion of how he was feeling about all of this.

"We rounded them up like cowboys," Tyler goes on, preferring to gloss over the 'staying where you are' part and I can't say I blame him at this point. "And we rode home, and we didn't lose any of 'em, Daddy!"

"That's good," his father has to admit. 

"Mama told me 'bout the Snowy River man," he says. "How he chased all the brumbies. And about Thowra and how the man wanted to catch him." 

Now Russell's decidedly amused. "She told you about all that, did she?"

Tyler nods. "Thowra was the king of all the wild brumbies. And the Man was handsome, brave and strong, but even he couldn't catch him." 

Our eyes meet and Russell raises that eyebrow once again. I give him that half-shrug of mine and one corner of his mouth quirks up in this semi-grin. 

"I wanna hear the story, too," Lily says. 

"Maybe Mum will tell you later, when it's time for bed," Russell tells her. Both of us have finished feeding and burping the twins and they're both almost asleep in his arms and mine. "Liss, may I speak with you alone for a bit, please?"

Oh, here it comes. "Sure," I say. Mum's looking at me with obvious sympathy, and Dad is trying not to grin, I'm not sure if it's because of me or my husband. Lil's already asking Tyler all about Junior. He stops long enough to try to intervene on my behalf. "Don't be mad at Mommy, Daddy. She was brave and trying to help."

"I'm not mad at your Mum, son." Somehow I'm not convinced, but there you go. "But, I do want to talk to her about all of this." He glances at me, with Emily in my arms. "Coming, love?"

Whether he's calling me that because he's genuinely not angry, or he's putting a show on for everyone's benefit, I'm not sure. But I feel kind of like I'm being led to the firing squad as I dutifully follow him upstairs.

We put the twins down in their crib in the nursery, and then he's headed to our room. I follow, a step or two behind, and prepare to face my fate. 

When we're in there, with the door closed, I sit on the edge of the bed; hands folded in my lap, and watch him begin pacing back and forth. His hands, of their own volition, begin sweeping through his hair and playing with his beard, something he always subconsciously does when he's nervous, agitated, or on the brink of something that's potentially going to set him off. "Jesus," is all he manages to say.

Meekly, I try to joke. "He had nothing to do with it." 

"I'm not finding this funny just yet, Lissy," he warns. 

"Are you going to get mad at me?" I ask, sounding like the kids. 

"I don't see that it'd do a hell of a lot of good, do you?" he asks.

I shake my head. Then, surprising me, he stops right in front of me. "Are you sure you're all right?" he wants to know.

"I'm fine." 

He sighs. "I told you not to bring home any newborn calves. I wasn't expecting you'd bring in an entire fucking herd of cattle instead!" 

I can't help it; I let out a giggle that I quickly stifle so it comes out more of a snort. He looks at me with that fiercely intense gaze but then I notice the twinkle in his eyes and the way he has to sort of twist his mouth to keep from breaking into a smile himself. His effort fails and he DOES smile, but only momentarily. "What in the hell were you thinking?"

"I...I don't know," I confess. "I guess...I was just sort of still upset by what you'd said earlier...so I thought, maybe if I showed you I wasn't helpless, you'd respect me."

"Christ, Liss! I don't think you're helpless, and I have a great deal of fucking respect for you, don't you know that?" He softens his tone. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. Damn it, sweetheart, you're one of the strongest people I know. You might be one of the craziest..." when I flinch, a tiny bit, he smiles and takes both of my hands in his, "but one of the strongest." He sighs again. "Still, I'd like to know exactly what possessed you."

"I wish I could tell you," I explain truthfully. "I don't know. Just this urge to prove myself, I guess. To show you...Tyler...myself...what I was capable of." 

"Capable of killing a fake snake and attacking Junior, apparently," he says, dryly.

"All right!" Now I spring to my feet, defensive. "I didn't know the so-called snake wasn't real, and all I saw was this beast bearing down on our son! What the hell else would you expect me to do?"

"Exactly what you did," he says honestly. I sink back down on the bed and I think now it's my turn for my mouth to hang slightly open as I look at him. 

"I'm not making fun of you, Liss. You did just the right thing. But, God, what if it HAD been a snake? You or Tyler could have been injured, or killed. And did you stop to think you were out in the middle of nowhere, where no one knew where you two were? What if it had attacked either one of you, especially you, and Tyler was all alone? Who would go for help? And did you really think that knife I gave you would have protected you against a rampaging mad cow?"

"Well, then, why on earth did you give it to me in the first place?" I want to know. 

"It wasn't because I expected you to go off and attack snakes and cows!" Now we're beginning to raise our voices. "Look, Liss, cows aren't the brightest animals. I'm glad you followed your instincts, especially the Mum ones, but I don't think you ever thought once of the danger you were putting both of you into, going off on your own like that."

"I did after the fact."

"You did after the fact." He shakes his head in disbelief. I'm tired of being treated like one of the children and I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. "Well, neither do you! Think of danger you put yourself into, I mean."

"What?" Now I've confused him. 

"You're a fine one to talk! Do you ever once think when YOU go out, of all the things that could happen to YOU? Even just here, on the farm. Look at you, when you're filming, the risks you take sometimes...doing your own stupid stunts...letting yourself be pummeled, beaten, injured, and...and shot at, and God only knows what else..."

He sits onto the bed next to me and looks at me. "Touché," he says quietly. 

"All right then," I respond back.

"Yeah." He holds a hand out to me. "Truce? We respect each other's right to adventure, within reasonable means, I reckon?" he asks me. 

"Yeah." We solemnly shake hands and then he just holds mine in his. "Tyler had the time of his life, I noticed," Russell says, with a sideways grin at me. 

"Oh, my gosh. He wants to go do it all again!" 

My husband chuckles. "We're gonna have to explain to him that all of this isn't going to happen all the time." 

"I certainly hope not." 

"I can't believe that cow." Russell's talking about Junior, of course. "What, we delivered him, welcomed him into the family, and he's instantly bonded for life with all of us, or what?"

"It looks like it." I sigh now. "Of course, we're going to have to give the kids that 'cows must be cows' talk again before he goes out once more." 

"I still can't believe you brought them all in." 

"Me either, frankly..." I let my voice trail off and he leans over and kisses me. "I'm in awe. Incredibly fucking proud, and in awe." 

"Yeah?" I'm kind of amazed he'd admit to that. "You are?"

"Mmm." He gives me The Look. "Although, don't get me wrong, I'm still a trifle upset over this whole thing...and I know we've pretty much worked it all out...but I'm still kind of in shock, and once I get over that, maybe I'll still be pissed."

"That's to be expected." I knew I wouldn't get off the hook so easily. 

"Yes, well, y'know..." he tugs me over onto his lap. "I'd turn you over my knee right this moment, but I reckon you'd like it too damn much." 

I laugh and he does, too. He kisses me again. "I have to say, though, the sight of you charging in on horseback, bringing in all those 'rampaging mad' cows...Tyler describing you all fired up attacking the phony snake, and then Junior...it's beginning to turn me on."

I smile. "Mmm," is my response. 

"Still got a little adventure left in you, Lissy?" he asks me.

Oh...I think so.   :)