So, things have finally settled down a bit in our lives, and have gone back to being as normal, for us, as they possibly can be. 

Guess I should fill you in. Liss and I decided after several months of weighing pros and cons and debating back and forth, that neither of us were getting any younger, and that we wanted to try to have just one more child. We reckoned, if it happened, great, and if it didn't, why, we were fine with the two we've already got. Lissy was worried because we'd been trying for some time and we weren't conceiving.

Then, God chose to have the last laugh on us. We did indeed find out we were expecting, and not only the one we were hoping for, but another one. Yep, mate, twins. Took me a bit longer than my wife to figure that one out; when the doctor said there were two heartbeats, I'd already steeled myself for dealing with a physically disabled child. She had to explain there were two heartbeats in two separate babies, and then it really sunk in. Was a miracle I didn't pass out right there, I was in utter shock. Once I got over the initial disbelief, I was pretty fucking happy and both of us were eager to get two babies out of the entire deal.

The hardest part for me has always been watching Liss go through pregnancy. Sure, there are the beautiful moments; you know, that masculine thing that you're watching the woman you love carry a life (or lives) that the two of you created together and all of that, but there's also knowing that she's having a bit of a rough time of it and that you're also partly to blame for that. And that about all you can do is hold her hand (or her head, if she's suffering that sickness thing) and try to be her support. Lissy was sicker with these two than in either of the other ones; I guess with double the blessings you also get double the nausea and all that good stuff that comes along with it. After she got over that, even though she seemed to be growing alarmingly larger by the day, we thought life was great and all would be well.

Should have figured that we're talking about us here, and while I look upon our lives as fairly blessed, every so often God likes to throw us something to keep us humble. We were planning to take Lil and Tyler and head back to Sydney to wait out the birth of the babies (by this time we'd found out we were having one of each, a boy and a girl, that we'd already named Jaden and Emily), when Liss started going into early labour. Most scary of all, she wasn't even quite to seven months yet. Well, to make a long story short, we had to have an air ambulance come fetch her and the twins and take her to Sydney, the rest of us coming thereafter, and the babies were okay.

Liss was on bed rest for the remainder but even so, she still went into labour early, this time four weeks from the due date, had to have a caesarean, but thankfully, she and the kids came through just fine and now we've welcomed two new bundles of joy into our already pretty lively household.

Both of us worried about going from two to four kids, but so far, things haven't been too insane. Lily and Tyler are both old enough to help, and we've had of course my family as well as, until fairly recently, Lissy's visiting from the States to help out as well. Em and Jaden are on a decent schedule; we started training 'em early to get used to feeding and sleeping and things at the same time, so believe it or not we do get a rare moment's peace every now and again.

They're two months old and we've finally, I feel, settled into our regular rhythm back here on the farm. Got nothing planned; as soon as I found out we were pregnant I cleared off a nice chunk of time which grew once I found out there were two coming. We've done a lot of talking and soul-searching over my career and what it means for all of us as a collective whole, and while Lissy and I have a rudimentary game plan for the long run, I know as things go along we'll still have to expect tweaking here and there. But right now my priority is here and I'm fine with that.

Guess I'm used to the babies' schedule because as I look over at the clock at our bedside I can see it's nearly four am and the twins should be getting up. Just as I'm thinking that, I hear one of them stir and then a moment later, both of them begin their wake-up call from the bassinette we keep them in here in our room. Again, just like clockwork, beside me Liss stirs but I'm already up and at 'em before she even sits up.

I lift each one of them out and set them on the bed, still waving their arms and legs and fussing in stereo. We'd joked during the pregnancy how, the first time we'd hear dual crying, we'd both be frozen in panic and fear, but I think we almost feel a kind of joy at it, after what we went through just to get them here. "Who'd you have last time?" I ask my bleary-eyed, beautiful wife.

"I had Emmy." I scoop our son up and hand him off to her. "Alright then, you get Mum this time, mate, and I get my baby girl." Lissy has been breastfeeding, which is logistically interesting with two, but from almost the start we also had them taking formula so everyone could help out. At least once during the day she takes on both of them simultaneously but for convenience and courtesy's sake, at night, we take turns over which one gets a breast and which one gets a bottle.

"Take her," Liss tells me as I'm about to head off to the kitchen to fix Em a bottle. "I can't hold her, 'cause she'll want me, too, and I can't bear to leave her lying there." So I lift her up and hold her against my shoulder, and while she's still making those snuffling, foraging-for-sustenance sounds, she calms down a bit.

"Yeah, I don't blame you," I tell her, glancing back where Jaden's already greedily suckling away. "If I had to pick, I'd choose Mum's breast, too." Liss makes a face, although she blushes prettily, and I grin before whisking Emily off to make her a bottle.

When I come back, Em already vigorously attacking her early morning brekkie, Jaden's already moved on to the other side although he's got his eyes closed and is completely content, one tiny hand kneading his mum's flesh. "Good grief," I comment, looking from one to the other. "The way these two eat, you'd think they'd both be half grown by now." Though fairly small at birth, they're pretty much caught up for their age, due to their enthusiasm for feeding time.

Lissy smoothes Jaden's downy bit of hair back with her free hand and then kisses his forehead; he stops eating long enough to open his eyes and look at her, then he's back at it again. "They'll be grown too quickly, you know, and we'll be sorry," she says softly.

This is true. Often, I look at Tyler and Lily, even more so now that these other two are here, and they seem positively huge and grown up to me.  Of course, it's probably just in comparison to the helpless fragility of the twins, but time is marching on, and they ARE growing up. Towards the end of the year, Lily will start primary school, and though it will only be for half a day I know already neither of us is looking forward to it, although we've tried to be positive and enthusiastic for her sake.

So I just cuddle Emily, and look at Jaden nestled in my wife's arms, and send a silent prayer of thanks up for all of them, and that we've got these two little miracles to start out all over again.

Later on in the morning, I've got some things I was hoping to do outdoors, although I feel extremely guilty anytime I leave Lissy alone with the kids. This was the same when we only had the two but now that we have the four it's made it even worse.

"Actually," I tell her, in the kitchen, while she's holding Emily, trying to turn on the dishwasher one-handed, and Tyler's watching Jaden in his swing, Lil colouring at the table, "I don't NEED to go off and do anything at all, really."

She finishes with the dishwasher, pops Emily into her swing beside her brother, winds it up and lets her go. "Maybe I need you to go off for a bit, did you ever think of that?" she teases. "Seriously, sweetheart, everything is fine, under control...so if you wanted to, I don't mind. Go look at the cows or something."

I look at our oldest child. "Want to go for a ride, Lil?"

"Yay!" She's up from her chair like she was sitting on a spring. "Go change into your riding clothes," Liss tells her, and she's off like a rocket. 

Tyler is pouty, until I promise, "I'll take you out tomorrow, mate." Lissy also assures him that she needs his help looking after the twins, and since he's now nearly three, this pacifies him and fills him full of responsibility.

"I'm ready, Daddy!" Lil's practically out of breath. I have to smile when I see her, dressed from head to toe ready to head out on horseback. In hopes of convincing Liss that she's old enough to learn to ride properly, I bought her boots and her own small hat, which she's got on along with jeans and, like any offspring of mine should wear, a plaid flannie, part of which is untucked from her pants. Her mum fixes her up proper and then kisses her, tugging playfully on her hair, which is plaited down the back. "You're such a cute cowgirl, Lil," she teases.

"I'm a DROVER, Mum," she explains, "and they're not cute. Right, Daddy?" 

"Young ones like you CAN be cute," I tell her. "Although we're only going out for a bit, we're not rounding up or herding anything today, angel." She only looks slightly disappointed at that.

"When I'm in 'Merica," she goes on, explaining patiently, "THEN I'm a cowgirl." Liss and I exchange amused glances. "Oh, right," her mummy says. "Silly me, I forgot."

"You're a genuine Aussie Kiwi Yankee Cowgirl Drover," I tell her. "So let's go saddle up and ride on out." 

"Hooray!" Now she's back to being a typical five-year-old. I give my wife and the other three kids a quick kiss and we're off.

We head off to the stables, hand-in-hand, Lily trying desperately to contain her excitement and act all grown up. Since after my thoughts on this matter early this morning that's something I don't want to happen too soon, I tell her, "Race ya there," and she takes off like a small gazelle. I deliberately let her win, which she gloats about as she jumps up and down. "Daddy, I beat you!"

"Yeah, well, you're a lot younger than I am." She sits on a spare bale of hay and watches as I begin taking out the riding hardware. "Who're we taking today?"

"I reckon Honey, same as usual." 

Her little feet don't quite reach the ground; she swings them aimlessly back and forth. "Sugar hasn't been ridden in a long time, since before Mama had the twins," she comments. "She was saying that she'd forget what it was like to have a rider on her, and that she felt sorry for her 'bout that."

I pause and look at my daughter. "Mum said that?"

Lil nods vigorously. "Just the other day. She said she'd been so busy, first with waiting for Jaden and Emmy to get here and then takin' care of 'em and all of us, that she hadn't had any time to go out riding, and she missed that." She looks at me, completely innocent. "I think you should take her riding with you sometime, Daddy."

The phrase and a little child shall lead them pops into my mind. Lily's always been a sensitive child, reflective, and let me tell you, it humbles me sometimes when she sees with her perceptive view on life what I'd take for granted or let pass by me. "That's a fantastic idea, love," I tell her. "I think maybe after we get back, I'll do just that. Till then...why don't we take Hope out instead, because the other two will get some exercise later, when I get Mummy to go with me?"

Lily looks pleased with this. "That's great. She works too hard, you know." Then, "Do you think she'll leave the babies long enough to go with you?"

I grin. "Yeah, I think she'll be able to manage that." I add, "Of course, you would have to help with them, and look after your brother, too."

"I can do that!" Now she looks more delighted at the prospect of Lissy going with me than her immediate gratification from going with me herself. I give her a hug. "Of course you can. That's my girl."

I lead Hope from the barn; she's actually Lissy's too, since she's the offspring of her own horse, Sugar. She's young; only a bit older than Lily, actually, and spirited, although obedient and quite gentle. I'm hoping, if Liss consents, that eventually she can be Lil's, since they're so much alike, personality-wise. She immediately lowers her head and sniffs at Lily, who pulls a carrot from her back jeans pocket and feeds it to her. I didn't notice it so I reckon she snuck it from the kitchen just before she left. Swinging my daughter up, I mount behind her. "You're gonna spoil them, sweetheart."

"Mum says you can't spoil anyone with too much love." 

I have to smile at Lissy's wisdom and the way Lily takes it as fact. "That's true." From the time she was a baby, this is something we've done together. She's never been afraid of the horses, has always treated them with a great deal of affection, and I think she'll make quite the equestrienne someday. Tyler, as Liss puts it, seems to lean more towards being a rodeo cowboy; with his rambunctious personality and his extreme enthusiasm, it's hard to tell who you're reining in sometimes, the boy or the horse. But, he, too, has learned to be patient and steady around them and I think he'll do fine.

We've moved out of sight of the house, just riding together in companionable silence, when Lily asks, "Daddy, are you and Mummy gonna send me away to school?"

This catches me completely off-guard because I have no idea where she'd get such a notion. "What would give you that idea?" I ask, slowing Hope down to an ambling sort of pace to concentrate on my child.

"I heard Nana and Grandma talking, when I had my birthday." I can't see her little face but I imagine it's troubled. I stop the horse completely and lift Lil so she's sitting side saddle and I can look at her. "I think they were talking about how we WEREN'T going to send you away to school." Before we even had her, we'd discuss, Lissy and I, how we'd figure we'd be as parents and what we planned for our child(ren). And one of the things that we were both pretty adamantly set against was their going to boarding school. Liss, especially, since that's not a common practise in America; she was absolutely not in favour of that and I had to agree with her. One of the biggest things we've tried to give the kids is some sense of continuity, normalcy, even with all the hectic insanity that being me, or being the child of me, entails. And I could never imagine deliberately separating any one of them from any of the rest of us for any length of time. "There's no way in hel...the world we would want to do that, baby. We'll take you there, and one or both of us will be there to pick you up and bring you home...every single day, and you'll tell us what you did and learned and it'll be great, Lil, you'll see."

"I don't want to go to school." She looks at me from under the brim of her hat. 

"Why?"

"I don't want to leave you at all, you and Mama and Tyler and the twins! I'll miss you and I won't have any fun."

"How do you know that when you haven't gone yet?" I ask reasonably.

"I don't know." She sighs miserably. "That's just what I figure." 

"Well." I think of something suitable to say. "I'll miss you, too, we all will...but think of what you'll get to do and the friends you'll make...it's all a part of growing bigger, Lil...and you can even help teach the little kids things you learn. Besides, it's just for a bit, you'll be home in no time, and we'll all wait for you to do fun things then. And," I add, "if you never took a chance on things that were kind of scary or unsure, Lil, just imagine what a boring place the world would be."

She looks curious at that, so I explain, "If people never took any chances, we might not even be here now, you know. And look at your Mum. She took a great big chance, when she chose to marry me...she left Grandma, her family and friends, and everything that she knew and she felt comfortable with, and came to live far away from all of that, to be with me, just because she loved me. How's that one for ya?"

"She was brave to marry you," she says. Now, I know she truly didn't mean that one the way it came out but it makes me laugh all the same. "Yeah, she was, probably more than either of us will ever know. She's still brave, every single day. And, we both took a big chance on having kids...let me tell you, sweetheart, we were terrified. We didn't know, if we had a baby, if it'd turn out all right or how to even be a mum or a dad. We didn't know if we'd mess up or if we'd be decent to you, you know? Each and every one of you, even the new babies now."

"But if you didn't have us, you'd be lonely."

I hug her. "We'd have each other, Mum and I, but yeah, we'd still be pretty lonely." 

"You're a good mum and dad though." 

"You think?" This pleases me. She nods. "Sure you wouldn't want anyone else?"

"I don't know," Lily says honestly. "I've never HAD another dad, so how would I know?"

Now I laugh uproariously, and she does, too, even though she doesn't really understand the humour in what she said. "So, are you okay with the school thing, Lil? Even though it's still a ways away?"

"Yes. I think so." I lift her back so she's sitting straight in front once more and wrap an arm about her. "All right, I'm glad. What do you think I should do, when I take your Mum out riding later today?"

Soon she's immersed in grand notions, every bit a romanticist like her mother. Y'know, as they get older, more and more stuff comes up that's kinda complicated, and I reckon it only gets even much more so over time. But, too, I treasure conversations like this, especially with Lily 'cause she's old enough to understand, and I love knowing that even if I never do a fucking thing to inspire some stranger halfway across the world, I can at least make a small difference to my kids, and that's what matters. There might come a time when she won't want to listen to anything I say, so now, when we're able to talk like this, so free and so honest, it means the world to me, and knowing it means the world to her as well makes me feel mighty damn good.

When we get back from our ride, Lil and I, I make a couple of phone calls from the secure line in the barn. After getting Hope settled, I swear Lily to secrecy and we head back to the house.

Lissy's holding onto both babies at once; the sight warming my heart, since she's the perfect portrait of motherhood. Emmy and Jaden are content right where they are, snug little bundles in each arm. "Where's Tyler?" I ask.

"He went down for a nap just a bit ago." She looks relieved at this. "He was all keyed up so I sent him to his room to settle down, and he fell asleep, so I decided to leave him there."

"Well, that's the best place for him."

"Right now, it is." 

Lily comes back from changing out of her riding clothes and immediately wants a baby to hold, so Liss gets her situated in a chair holding Emmy. Then, with that perfect instinct she's honed after years of use, she glances from her to me and back again. "What's up?" she demands.

"What d'ya mean, 'what's up', Mum?" Lily is concentrating very hard on the baby, so much so that she immediately turns her attention to me. "I mean, what are you two keeping from me?"

"It's actually quite hard to keep much from you, angel," I remark drolly. "Okay, since you insist...this afternoon, I'm kidnapping you and taking you away."

"Away where?" She frowns slightly. "And who will watch the kids? I hate the idea of your parents watching all four of them, Russ. It's entirely too much to ask."

"We're not trouble, Mama." Now Lil looks worried her mum will say no. Lissy smiles and kisses her. "Of course not, muffin...but it's a lot of work for Nana and Papa to look after four of you instead of just two, and with the babies so small..."

"That's why there are reinforcements." I grin. "Terry and Melissa are coming over, too. They'll all get to fawn over our beautiful offspring...and Mum's going to make supper for everyone...you know how she loves doing that...meanwhile, you and I get some alone time. We're going to take the girls out."

Jaden stirs in her arms; she pats his back and nuzzles the top of his head. "Really?"

"Truly!" Lily can't contain her enthusiasm any more. "You said, Mum, that you wished you could ride Sugar...and now you can. Daddy thought it was a great idea."

"A perfect idea." I entice, "We could ride down to the pond..."

I'm not gonna tell you what usually happens when we go there other than to say it's a very special spot for us. Liss blushes. After all this time, I still love making her do that. Among other things. "I have to feed the babies first," she gives in, taking Emily back from Lil and cradling both of them close. "I'll be right back," she reassures softly, exchanging a look with me before leaving to take them upstairs.

Lily claps her hands. "She's so happy, Daddy! Did you see the way she smiled at you?"

Yeah, I did. And I can hardly wait to find out what all of it means. 

Going to check on Lissy and the babies, I find the three of them in the nursery. Liss has them in the rocking chair, using her ingenious method of breastfeeding both of them at once. Her mum brought her, from the States, one of these sorts of pillows that's formed into a semicircle, like a big doughnut with a bite taken out of it---then Liss puts it round her middle with the curve in the front, a baby on either side, sort of tucked under each arm like a footy ball with their feet towards the back of the chair--- and lets them latch on to one of her breasts, cradling both. I had to chuckle the very first time we worked this out but I gotta tell you, it's pretty clever. 'Course, when they get bigger I don't think this is gonna work out too well, but for now it's perfect and it's what the twins are used to. She plans, because of the demands that two places on her instead of one, to wean them early anyhow and have them go completely to the bottle, but for now she loves having them close like this. It makes the three of them content.

She looks up when she sees me, her expression beatific as she gently rocks them. "I'll be ready in a moment," she says. 

I just stand there and watch them, transfixed by the beautiful picture they make. Emmy lets go of Lissy's nipple with a small smacking sound; I lift her from her mum and hold her to my shoulder, patting her and waiting for her to let up an air bubble. Jaden, too, full and happy, releases Liss as well; she holds him up, her blouse still open down the front. It's completely natural and not a sexual thing at all, but when she catches me glancing at her she whispers, "You'll get yours soon."

It's gone from being a Mum thing to a lover thing in less than five seconds. I'm careful not to jostle Em as she finally gives a tiny ladylike burp; putting her down for her nap, I take Jaden from Liss to let her straighten her clothing up. "Promise?" I ask, hearing my voice come out huskier than usual.

"I promise." She watches as I tuck our son in next to our daughter and they both immediately cuddle next to each other and fall straight asleep. 

"Race you to the barn," I tell the second member of our family today. Although I have to admit, catching up to Lissy might be a bit more fun. 

She slides her hand into mine as we leave the twins' room and head back downstairs. "Don't make it so obvious, sweetheart," she jokes. 

The family's already gathered so after making Lil promise to be good and help with the others after they wake up, I'm finally alone with my wife for probably the first real time in literally months.

When we get to the barn, Lissy's as full of excitement as Lily was. I can tell by the way her eyes sparkle and her cheeks are flushed. This was a good idea and I definitely owe our daughter one, big time, for thinking of it. Not a lot gets past me where my relations with Liss are concerned so I feel somewhat ashamed it took a five-year-old to point out I needed to make time for my wife.

We've got a blanket for lounging on when we get to the pond, and some lunch my mum made for the two of us. She barely gives me a moment to set it down and then she's slipping her arms around me, standing on tiptoe to give me a kiss. "I don't know if I can wait for us to get there," she confesses.

Me, either, actually. We've only just resumed our sexual relationship for about three weeks or so after literally months of enforced celibacy; tried to snatch moments now and again but it's been hard what with four children, two of whom sleep in the same room with us, and the demands of the rest of our lives. So I throw the blanket over my shoulder and take her hand. "Well, then," I say.

"Well, then, what?" But she smiles. 

"Come to my chamber of sin, Madame." I show her the ladder leading up to the large hayloft we keep above the stalls. Both Honey and Sugar stick their heads over their doors, looking at us first like, hello, aren't we going out? and then like, oh, here they go again!

"Ooh, 'chamber of sin', I like the sound of that one."  She's already scrambling up, me behind her, enjoying the view, if I do say so myself. "But if someone comes..."

Now, we've been together forever and we've made love in some pretty interesting places. Nothing too public, for I don't have too wild of a streak in me and it doesn't particularly run to exhibitionism, but a few times where there's always the possibility of being caught. And while Liss is used to my impulsive behaviour, there's also still a shy sort of side to her at times. "No one will come," I reassure her. "But, just to be safe, I reckon we should try to be as quiet as possible. No screaming, this time."

"I don't scream," she says, primly. 

"I've known you to." I tell her. "Want to bet I can make you scream?"

"Not here, not now." The loft smells fresh, the hay sweet and clean. She helps me spread our blanket over a huge loose pile of it. "So you DO admit I can do it?"

"I'm not admitting to anything, except that I want you pretty damn bad and you're keeping me waiting." She flops back onto our makeshift bed with a sigh. "I can't believe we're doing this."

"I can." I follow her down and smile at her. 

"You've corrupted me for life, Russell." She reaches and traces the outline of my smile with her fingertips. "I used to be such a good, good girl..."

"You're real good, Liss." Kissing her, I'm already tugging her shirt out of the waist of her jeans. "So, so good...and so, so bad...and I love both sides of you..."

"Mmm..." I spread her shirt open and look at her strictly utilitarian nursing bra. Sort of self-consciously, she says, "I know it's not the prettiest thing..."

"Well, tell you what. Once you wean the twins, I'll send off to Paris for some new pretty things for you, how's that?"

"Madame Charlotte's?" Her eyes light up at the thought of goodies from her favourite naughty lingerie shoppe. "Nothing but the best for my girl," I affirm, unhooking the bra with ease and drawing both it and her shirt off of her. Her breasts are full, thanks to the twins. She pushes my shirt off as I lower my head and gently run my tongue around one of her nipples, watching it draw up and bead tight. I do the same to the other one and then take it fully in my mouth. She tastes good and wholesome, like milk and honey and like her, that indescribable sensation that's all woman and purely Liss in particular. Drawing deeply from her, I'm able to taste some residual milk that the babies didn't get to, and it's a pretty erotic experience.

"Oh, god..." Liss shifts restlessly, making the straw crackle beneath her. "Please, don't ever stop."

"Never." Undoing her jeans, I draw them down over her hips and off her legs. She'd already kicked off her boots and her socks the moment we got up here, as did I; I guess it truly has been way too long since we had a good lengthy time to indulge ourselves in each other like this. Surprising me, she's got this ultra-feminine lacy bit of knickers on; I guess she felt because of the non-glamour of the bra she needed something more fanciful down below. I spend a moment just gazing at her, my wife. There's enough sunlight coming through up here that it dapples her body in shades of gold and rose; the shadows just as intriguing as the highlights. She's absolutely beautiful and I store this image of her away carefully forevermore.

Looking at her you'd never guess that this is a woman who's carried five children...given birth to four, sheltering two of them within her at once. Of course, she's lost the slender girlishness she had when we first met but it doesn't matter to me; she's still all mine and I love her more for what I've witnessed her body going through over the years we've shared together. Her hips are a little fuller, her stomach not as flat; she always complains she has weight left to lose from the twins, but I'm amazed she looks like she does barely two months or so after having them. There's still a small slight swell to her belly and I run my hand over it lovingly, as she lies there and watches me.

Her panties skim the faint pinkish line left from her surgery scar, and I dip down to draw my lips over it. That was the most terrifying thing to me, when they said that the babies would have to be born through caesarean. I know Lissy was scared it would come to that, but she handled it incredibly well. You can't know, until it happens right to you, what it's like to sit there while they're cutting your wife open to save your kids. I'd always told Liss that if it came down to it I'd choose her over them, but when that moment arrived I was completely selfish and begged God to let me keep all three of them. Thankfully, He allowed that and we have our two little miracles; we're completely content with the four we have and have decided that, for us, this is definitively it.

She must see the look in my eyes for she places her finger under my chin and makes me look at her. "You've given me so much," she says softly. 

"No, you have." Belatedly, I add, "Thank you." 

There's this heartbeat of silence while we just watch each other. Then, to lighten the mood, she says, "Well, we could argue this out all day, but I don't know about you, I'm burning up here and I need you to take care of that."

So much is unspoken in her eyes; I know there's the same in mine, and that we can read that so perfectly in each other. So I grin. "Can't have that, this place would go up in flames."

"I may go up in flames, if you don't hurry," she complains, already reaching for my own jeans and wrenching them open. I let her, amused at her impatience, and soon we're both lying there naked, the sunlight pouring in through the small window at one end, slanting over us in waves of colour.

I'd love to linger over her, feast on her, build this up slowly a little at a time, but I don't think either of us are patient enough for that right now. Besides, I know that even with all of this temptation, Lissy really DOES want to go out with the horses and we haven't even made it out of the barn yet. So I thrust into her, feeling her accommodate me easily, even though it hasn't been all that often we've been back like this recently. She lets out this sigh of contented bliss, her hips rising to take me in even deeper, her hands at the small of my back trying to pull me more fully inside of her. I brush a strand of her hair back and look down at her. "Sweetheart, there's only so far I can go, y'know."

"All the way." Her eyes are so dark I feel like I'm lost in them. I move marginally, feel her draw in her breath and let it out in a rush as I do it again. "Yeah, all the way. Just like this."

And then pretty soon we're completely caught up in each other, everything centred on us and this moment in time. She doesn't scream, although I can tell she might want to; but rather she makes those sweet sounds that I enjoy, towards the end her breath coming out in sighing little gasps that push me over the edge. I hold her, my body still pulsing within hers, hers around me, as we lie locked together in each other's arms.

Hell, I'd be perfectly satisfied with staying here, like this, for the rest of the afternoon if it wasn't for one of the horses below, Sugar, I think, letting out a low sound and Honey responding. "Did you hear that?" Lissy whispers.

"It's just the horses." But we both lie there and wait. There's the unmistakable sound of jingling tack and the rustle of footsteps moving quietly from one stall to another. I stiffen and beside me I can feel Liss tense as well. "There's someone here," she murmurs, a bit nervously.

That someone is trying awful hard to be quiet so I know they know we're here as well. Shit. I motion to Liss to stay put, crawl naked and undignified to a part of the floor where there's enough of a gap to see in between the boards, and peek. Straightening, I crawl back to her, careful not to make much of any noise at all, and hold her close. "It's Terry," I whisper low, in her ear.

"Will he go away?" 

"Not a chance, love. The thing is he's probably waiting to see how long we take before we give ourselves away...and he's got the tenacity of a dingo, that one does. Here..." I reach for her shirt. "Start getting dressed."

We hear cheerful whistling down below and then his voice calling casually up, "So, when you say you're going riding, it'd help if you'd be a bit more specific as I don't particularly want to be explaining to your tyke about the facts of life just yet."

We glance at each other. Lissy's eyes are huge although she knows there's really nothing to fear. I mean after all, we're married, right, not just off for some sort of quickie fling with one another. There's no use pretending we're not here or that he doesn't know fucking well we've...well, been fucking each other well, so I call back, "How d'ya reckon?"

"Lil." He explains, "She's been so happy you two were going to spend some time together, she's been watching at the window ever since you two left, to see you go riding off into the sunset or whatever. When you didn't come back out straightaway she got all worried and wanted to make sure you were okay so I told her I'd come to check on you. Now what am I supposed to tell her you've been doing all this time?"

"You'll think of something."

"I'm not the actor 'round here, Russ. So let's just say you owe me big time." 

We exchange looks again. Lissy's face is bright flaming red but she bribes, "When we get back, I'll make you a cake."

I can just picture the huge grin on my brother's face. "Chocolate?"

"You got it." 

"With lots of gooey icing and coloured sprinkles?" Now he sounds like Tyler. 

"Yeah, the whole shebang, double layers, everything." 

"Well, good onya, Liss, thanks." Then, "She's still gonna be watching, mind you, until she sees you safely off, so I'm going to leave now on the assumption that you'll be doing exactly that in the next few minutes. And what you choose to do once you get wherever you're headed is your business." Helpfully he adds, "Already got the horses saddled up for you and ready to go."

"Yeah, thanks a lot." Lissy, giggly although still highly embarrassed, calls down, "Thank you very much!"

"No worries." My brother adores Liss and I know he's having a good time at my expense. "G'day, y'all." 

I run my hand through my hair and pull my jeans on. "Lil's such the little matchmaker." 

"We're already matched," Lissy points out. "But, that's so sweet." 

I'd be a bit disgruntled at being literally caught with my pants down, so to speak, but at least he let us finish before interrupting, and I pretty much know that was just an appetizer. So I'm whistling the same tune as I help Liss back down the ladder, and then we're off for real this time.

As we head away from the main buildings, we know Lily's watching, even though from here we can't see her, so I give a jaunty wave and Liss blows her a kiss. Terry's probably watching, too, the wanker, just to make sure we really do ride out, anticipating chocolate cake for dessert and thankful he doesn't have to explain the birds and the bees to our young daughter. Although I'd like to know just WHAT sort of explanation he did give her. Lil's every bit as curious as her mum so I know she wouldn't let him off the hook easily until he came up with a plausible excuse to satisfy her.

Lissy looks totally carefree and happy, reaching out to pat Sugar's neck; her horse is delighted to have her and prances joyously. "I'm so not used to this; I'm probably going to be sore later on," she says.

I give her a meaningful sort of almost leer. I'm feeling pretty good myself, relaxed and oh-so-satisfied. "I'll help you work the kinks out later on, love." 

"I'll just bet you will." But she smiles. "I'm so embarrassed we got caught! And by your brother, no less." 

"First," I say, "I don't see what there is to be embarrassed about. We're all adults...sure as hell consenting ones..." I love teasing her just to watch the rosy hue spread over her face and down her neck, "and you can't tell me he's never done anything like that in his life, either. Also, I don't know 'bout you, but I'd rather it be him than Mum or Dad, or, god forbid, Lil herself."

"I thought you said there was nothing to be embarrassed about?" 

"Well, it's one thing if it's your brother, another entirely if it's your parents, even if we ARE all adults...and I wouldn't know what to say if it was Lily that caught us fooling around." I told you she's a romantic, like Liss, she loves to see us cuddle and kiss, but I don't think she's old enough to understand the subtleties of a more physical sort of relationship. Besides which, it isn't Terry's responsibility anyhow and I already dread when the time comes she DOES need to be taught about these kinds of things. She has, when Lissy was pregnant with Tyler and again with the twins, been curious about how the babies got there, etc., we even got a video from the doctor's explaining in simple terms, but she hasn't pursued the matter any further and frankly, I'd like to keep it that way. My little girl's my little girl, and although I know she's growing up I'd prefer the process to be as drawn out as possible.

My wife gives me a knowing look. "When the time comes, I'll be the one, I suppose, to give The Talk to her," she says. "You will, of course, be the one to do it with the boys."

The thought of explaining any of this to Tyler is even more daunting to me than trying to explain it to Lil and it must show on my face, for Liss laughs. "That won't be for awhile yet, sweetheart, so no worries."

"Speaking of Lily..." while we're riding, I tell Lissy my earlier conversation with her and her trepidation over starting school.

She looks concerned. "But you got it worked out?"

"She's fine with it now, love. I told her..." and I reiterate what we discussed about taking chances. "You wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't taken a chance on me."

Lissy laughs again. "Well, I certainly wouldn't be getting caught making love in a hayloft, that's for sure." She gestures about her. "And I wouldn't be enjoying all of this." Nudging Sugar with her heels, she gets her going into a smooth canter and I have to catch up.

"Do you have any regrets, Liss?"

She looks incredulously at me. "That's the most ridiculous, dumb-ass question I think you've ever asked me, Russell." 

I burst out laughing 'cause that was far from the reaction I'd expected. "Don't hold back, Angel, just let me have it." 

"I'm not kidding! How can you even look at me and expect that I'd answer positively to that at all? God, no." She slows the horse and I draw up alongside. 

"'Cause I was thinking, when I told her that, you DID give up a lot just to be with me, y'know." I tick everything off on my fingers. "Your country, your home, your friends and family nearby...your privacy..."

"Love makes you do crazy things." She looks at me, straight on, without anything hidden. "And I didn't look at it as losing anything, but what I was gaining. When I told you, back at the barn today, that you've given me so much, I meant it. I couldn't imagine having half of this with anyone else nor would I want to. No, I'm happy with the way things have gone and I wouldn't change any of it because it's made us be where we are right now, and that's a pretty damn good place to be."

I have to agree with her. She tips her head and gazes at me. "You're not so insecure that you need reassurance on this, do you?"

Grinning, I respond, "No, I just like to have my ego stroked now and again." Liss is wonderfully honest and after a lifetime of trying to second-guess people and their possible motivations, it's fucking refreshing, even after all these years.

She gets that twitchy playful smile and says, "Well, I'd rather stroke something else of yours...race you to the pond." And then she's off, streaking across, bent low over Sugar as she eats up the ground in huge eager strides. Honey immediately fights to be let loose and I let her, trying to catch up to the reckless, lovely abandon of my wife.

When we reach the pond, we immediately, as we always have, let the horses roam free while we spread the blanket out and unpack our lunch. 

"You're not thinking of the twins, are you?" I tease Liss, which then grows serious as I see the shadow of guilt cross her face. "Yeah, you are." Reassuringly, I tell her, "They're fine with the rest of the clan, you know they are, right?"

"Of course." She takes a bite of her sandwich and half-shrugs. "But, it's my nature, you know, being a worrisome Mum."

"It only means you're a caring one, sweetheart, that's all. You were like this when Lil was tiny, too, and Tyler..." I let my voice trail off. When Liss struggled with postpartum depression after having him, she didn't care about much of anything; I knew she loved him, loved all of us yet, but there was so much going on that I reckon even I after all this time will never truly know fully within her heart and her mind.

"I'm okay now." She's strong and determined...I know when she became pregnant with Emily and Jaden she was so fearful it would come crashing back but so far it hasn't,   and I know that if there was even the barest hint of it returning, she'd fight it with everything she has in her.

I slide my hand beneath her hair and rub the nape of her neck. "You're okay. More than okay, according to Lily...she says we're a good mum and dad and she doesn't think she'd want anyone else."

Liss shakes her head. "How would she know...? She's never had anyone else."

This is so much like Lil's reaction that I begin laughing again, and have to stop to explain to Lissy that's exactly what our daughter said. She joins in. "Well, I reckon they could do worse," I say, in our defence.

"True enough." 

"You want to go for just one more, Liss? C'mon, what do you say? We're not getting any younger..." I enjoy teasing her about trying for any others. Like I mentioned before, we're fine with our brood and have decided to quit while we're ahead. However, this was also what I told her before Em and Jaden, and look what happened then.

She makes a face and hands me another sandwich. "You're also not getting any saner, Russell, I can see that. Are you crazy?"

"Crazy about you." She imitates gagging and I chuckle. "We make exceptionally lovely kids, Lissy, though, don't you think?"

"I do." She leans over and kisses me. "That doesn't necessarily mean I would like to make any more, however." 

"But," I point out logically, "that also doesn't necessarily mean you would like to stay completely celibate either, right?"

"Now I'm really questioning your sanity." When I would reach for her and draw her down on the blanket, she cautions, "I'd like to eat first...all that earlier fuss in the barn worked up my appetite."

"Me, too." I waste no time, though, for as soon as we finish and clear away our lunch, I'm practically attacking her. She giggles. "Can't wait, can you?"

"Well, you've got a bit of baking to do when we get home...you're lucky that you know the way to Terry's heart is through his stomach, where you're concerned."

She's playfully batting at my hands as I begin unbuttoning her shirt again. "The way to YOUR heart is decidedly through another one of your body parts...but I'm not complaining."

"Better not be." Pretty soon the time for joking is past. I can feel that heat that somehow always is simmering just below the surface between us begin bubbling up and taking us over. It's been too long since the two of us have taken a few precious moments strictly to ourselves and we're definitely going to take advantage now.

The pond is an area we've designated as our own private spot; I know there are a bunch of blokes out working but I also know where everyone was going to be today, so there are no worries about putting on a repeat performance for any of our public. It's a perfect day although we're heading into autumn here; sunny and beautiful.

Liss looks like some sort of ripe fertility goddess, her curves full and lush, the very epitome of motherhood. Although, right now, I'd prefer not to think of her as anyone's mum even though that's precisely what she is.  But she's not MY mum; she's my wife, and that's what I'm focused on at this moment.

Once again, the sunlight filters through the canopy of leaves overhead, painting her in all these shades of warm burnished gold and pink. There's a bit of a breeze, stirring loose strands of her hair. She had plaited it down the back like Lil's before we rode out but I've undone it and spread it out about her. Her breasts aren't heavy yet with milk again as she fed the twins not so long ago, but they're solid within my hands, the nipples rose-coloured and engorged. She sighs as I gently pluck at them. Her whole body's more sensitive since giving birth; my slightest touch makes her practically hum with pleasure.

When I trace her scar with my fingertip, she shudders and I pause. "Does it hurt?"

"No." She watches me as I run my finger over it again. "It was tender for a while, then it itched, but I'm all right now." 

"It's your battle scar, Lissy, and you earned it fair and square." 

She strokes her hands through my hair, our eyes meeting. "It's my badge of courage, is how I look at it." 

"That it is." I know every bit of her body, know where she's ticklish and where she likes to be touched and kissed, know where every mark is on her. But this one is special; it bespeaks the sacrifice she made to give our children life, risking her safety and her own body for theirs, and I doubt I will ever be able to express truly what that means to me, witnessing that and understanding that about her.

"You're spoiling me, Russell." Liss sighs softly again as I trace her scar some more, this time with my mouth. "Sex in the barn...sex by the pond...riding and talking, kissing and snuggling...I could come to want this on a regular basis."

"You should have it on a regular basis." I raise my head long enough to gaze at her. "We're gonna have to make more time for ourselves. And as far as the spoiling goes..." I repeat what Lily told me before. "Can't ever spoil anyone with too much love."

She smiles at this, recognising her own words that I, too, state as simple fact. Then her breath catches as I move even lower and taste her intimately. "You...could kill me...from...too much love...though..." she says, in sobbing pants as I lap tenderly at her, tasting her sweet cream and coaxing more from her hungry, yearning body. She tastes earthy and ethereal at the same time, and I enjoy knowing this is her reaction to me and me alone. Her hips are moving almost helplessly, to the rhythm of my mouth on her, as she begins making those sweetly passionate sounds I love, just as she did back in the hayloft.

"Don't hold back, angel...scream, I know you want to..." I tell her softly, then I stroke over her tight little bud with my tongue and she cries out, with only me and God and two highly disinterested horses to hear her.

"Told you I could make you scream," I tell her smugly, after we've both kind of drifted back into ourselves again. My head's resting lazily on her thigh, her hand buried in my hair, slowly caressing. I plant a sticky wet kiss high on the inside of her leg and smile.

"Yeah, you think you're so hot." Her eyes are sparkling as I look up at her. "Aren't you gonna finish what you've started?"

"I'm no quitter, Liss." I raise myself up and she stops me. "Wait." 

Glancing down at my rampantly aroused body, I tell her ruefully, "I don't think waiting is such a great idea, Lissy." 

She laughs. "No, I mean it's my turn now...It's only fair, right?"

I have to admit it IS only fair. Besides, I like to turn myself over into my wife's more than capable hands whenever possible. So we reverse positions and now she's on top. Have to say, it's a beautiful view. There's this wonderful sort of heat in her dark eyes as she watches me. "Now I get to have my wicked way with you," she says, thoughtfully.

"Now you get to have your wicked way with me," I agree. Don't know yet just what conceding to that is going to mean for me but I'll sure as hell enjoy finding out. She smiles, that soft secret woman's smile, and then leans forward to kiss me. "Mmm," she murmurs, offhandedly, at the taste of herself on me, and I feel my entire body clench and grow even harder, if that's at all possible, at the blatant lasciviousness in her expression.

"You're a tease," I grouse, good-naturedly. Now it's my turn to catch my breath as she licks at my nipple. 

"I'm not, if I'm giving you what you want," she protests. Does the same thing to the other one and then meets my gaze again with this radiant sort of feminine triumph on her beautiful face, that says she's pleased with having me exactly where she wants me and able to do exactly what she wants with me. "And you will get it. Eventually."

"Sooner rather than later would be nice, sweetheart." 

She gives that sort of Mum look that always makes the kids fall in line. "I'm calling the shots here, mate." Raining kisses all over my body, she says, conversationally, "I don't know what's the big deal about my chocolate cake, not..." coming to the danger zone, she gives a sweet, almost dainty lick to the head of my cock and I just about come close to losing it, "...not when there's so much more delicious things to snack on."

"I..." I bite back a groan as she briefly takes it into her mouth and then fixes me with that pseudo-innocent look, "...I don't think this is even close to what Terry would have in mind, love."

She laughs, her breath warm and light over my ultra-sensitised skin. "I'm not talking about him, I'm talking about me...and this is exactly what I want right now." Then she closes her lips over me and I forget anything we were talking about.

Liss still manages, even in this completely carnal act, to look all angelic. And you wonder how we managed to have four children in five years. Less than five years, even, since the twins were due around Lil's fifth birthday but came early. Yeah, wonder how that happened, with the two of us unable to keep our hands off each other, right?

I brush my fingers through her hair, touch her, unable to look away from her. She's beautiful and she's mine and besides the fact that what she's doing to me feels absolutely fucking mind-blowing incredible, I love her. Plain and simple.

When she senses I'm real close, she lifts her mouth off of me, then, rising gracefully on her knees, comes back over me and takes me within her. Slow and deep, nice and easy. "All the way," she whispers, as she did when I took her earlier in the hayloft.

"All the way," I repeat, letting her go. We stay connected by looking into each other's eyes the entire time. This is one of my favourite things, watching Liss like this, when she's loving me and she's all caught up in me, as I am with her. Since we pretty much inflamed each other to no end earlier, it doesn't take long; she comes just as I do, and this time I'm the one who makes the most noise; letting out this sort of primal alpha male shout. The horses still aren't the least bit impressed; they've heard and seen it all before and nothing we could do would faze them anymore.

We lie there for long moments still wrapped up in and tangled up with each other. "Made you scream, too," she says, satisfactorily, as she kisses me gently.

"I don't scream," I retort, sounding every bit as proper as she did when she lied and told me the same thing. 

"Oh, sure, you're all jaded; been there, done that." She makes a drowsy happy sound and snuggles into my side. "By the way, I'm pregnant again."

I feel like she's doused me with ice water; I sit bolt upright and gape at her. She just looks at me with those huge brown eyes, all serious, before a slow grin spreads across her face and then she giggles. "Gotcha."

"Sweet bloody hell, Liss, don't ever pull that one on me! Do you know what that did to me just now?"

She's laughing hysterically. "Yeah, it riled you up! I love that, Mr. Cool and Collected; suddenly I could have knocked you over with a feather! There's no chance of that, so take a breath." I lunge for her and she leaps to her feet with the lithe of a dancer. "Mr. 'let's make one more, Liss, we're not getting any younger'..." I jump up after her as she dashes merrily away, stark naked and incredibly gorgeous. I catch up to her; or rather, I think she lets me catch her, snare her 'round the waist and swing her up off her feet and into my arms.

"Just for that..." Unceremoniously, I wade into the pond and then toss her in; she goes under and comes up sputtering but still laughing. Then I dive in after her and soon we're swimming and splashing each other like two unruly children.

God, I love my wife. But thank heaven she was only joking. 

After a romp in the pond, and a bit more fooling around (we haven't had time to ourselves in at least several months, that is, that lasts more than a half an hour or so), we both reckon we've foisted our children on the rest of the family long enough and we should be headed for home, so Liss can start work on Terry's chocolate cake, ha ha. But I wouldn't change any of it for the world. I love those four little ones waiting for us back at the house more than anything except Lissy herself. And despite my incessant teasing of her about it before, when she joked about being pregnant again it wasn't in the least bit funny. Not after what I witnessed her having to contend with as she was pregnant with Jaden and Emmy.

Liss is a contradiction in terms. You look at her and on the outside you see this small, almost fragile looking woman, but inside her there's this warrior's heart. She's got the emotional fortitude of ten men, with a spirit to match. And I'm in awe every time I look at her.

We're just ambling along when she draws Sugar to a halt. "Did you hear that?" she asks me. 

I rein in Honey alongside and we both sit there in silence. Finally, I hear it, faintly: the sound of an animal, in pain or distress. Liss has already turned her horse towards it and is heading confidently in that direction. I hurry to catch up. "Be careful, love," I warn. Despite the fact this is our land, it's still the bush; there are untold dangers out there. We never go out riding without being prepared; I'd fight to defend both of us if I had to. Lissy knows to be wary, on the alert whenever we're out here; she's not reckless, despite that spiritedness I mentioned a moment ago, and I can tell by her posture and the way she's directing Sugar that she's being cautious.

We head up a slope and down a tiny dip, and that's when we see it. There, in the almost nonexistent shelter of a small tree, one of the cows, lying on its side, making pitiful sounds of desperation and extreme torment. Both of us stop the horses a slight distance away, Lissy dismounting before me, walking slowly towards it. The cow lifts its head to look at her briefly, the white of its eye showing, before its head drops again and it moans.

"What's wrong with her?" I'm right behind my wife, and without saying a word I gesture to its hindquarters, where part of a leg and another hoof is clearly visible. "She's giving birth! Oh, you poor thing..." Coming back around, Liss drops to her knees, there in the dirt, and strokes the cow's head with both hands, comforting her and murmuring to her softly.

I've already assessed the entire situation and seen what Lissy cannot. "She's dying, sweetheart," I say quietly.

She lifts her head, looking at me in shock. "How do you know? Maybe she's just in a great deal of pain, it can't be easy, you know..." her voice trails off as she sees the grim expression on my face.

"Believe me, Liss. She's not gonna make it through." I examine the calf, which its mum is still trying valiantly to deliver, even though I'm fairly certain even she knows she's not going to survive. "We've got a chance to save the little one, though." A faint hope, a slim chance, but one nonetheless.

"Maybe you're wrong." Lissy swipes at a tear with her sleeve and looks almost defiantly at me. I can see where Lil gets her immense empathy for life from, and send up a silent prayer of thanks that it's not her I've got with me right now. "She can make it...we just have to get your baby, out, don't we..." she continues to stroke the cow's head, flinching every time it makes one of its noises, which is becoming less and less as she begins to give up the fight.

"Lissy." I come 'round to kneel beside her, gaze at her, tears in her eyes and a streak of dirt on her cheek. What do I tell her? That this is the way of the bush, only the strongest survive, it's the circle of life, what? What can I possibly say to make it better, especially since a few short months ago it was possibly her life in danger and our children that were waiting to be born? I reach and wipe away the smudge and then I take her in my arms and hold her close. "I'm sorry," I tell her, and she clings to me and cries.

When she recovers some of her poise, I can see the determination that replaces the despair. "How do we get the calf out of her?"

I sigh, already on my feet, headed for Honey, who's carrying most of our supplies. "We tie a rope 'round its legs and try to pull it out, I reckon, since she's not gonna be able to help us."

Liss has followed me; I can see the almost horror in her face. "Won't that break its legs?"

"Not if we pull straight out." I'm already looping the rope around what we can see of the calf's feet. When I give an experimental tug, the mum lets out this horrible bellow, thrashes just a bit, and then it's over. I can tell by the way her eyes roll back and the head just drops to the ground with a dull thud. Liss has returned around to her front to try to comfort her, but I say gently, "It's over, love. She's gone."

She's trying to retain her composure. "Now," I tell her, "we've really got to get this little fella out of her; we don't have much time at all." 

With that steely strength I told you about before, the one that completely shoots to hell everything you think you know about her, Liss moves into position right there with me and wraps both hands round the rope. "I'll do it," she says, doggedly.

"Liss, you can't..." she fixes me with this stare and I immediately recognise this fierce need, as a mum, to fight and bring this life into the world. Whether it's her struggle or she's assisting this sad helpless dead creature. I saw it every time she gave birth to each one of our kids and I can see it in her now. No backing down, take no prisoners, no holds barred. Rather than end the sentence there, where I was going to, I amend it to, "Liss, you can't do it all by yourself," and move into place behind her.

Now Lissy's a city girl, born and bred, and while she loves the farm and all, she hasn't had too much experience working cattle or such, at least nothing like this that I know of. But, she's not afraid to get her hands dirty and she sits right there at the cow's back end, on her own bum in the mud and grime, bracing her feet against its unyielding, unfeeling body, and begins pulling on the rope. I brace myself right behind her, letting her throw her own body back against mine for support, and put most of my own strength into doing this, for both of us. Although, Liss has a surprising amount of it all her own, I can feel it as we tug. We pull with all our might, watching as slowly, this entire little calf emerges; finally the rope goes slack as it literally pops right out and into Lissy's lap.

It's covered in gooey, slimy afterbirth, but Liss is laughing and crying as she holds it, wiping gunk from its face with her bare hands, and she looks at me in triumph. "We did it! We had a baby!"

I have to laugh. Not the baby we'd been joking about all afternoon, but one just the same. "Yeah, we sure did." 

"It's alive, Russell!" The calf lets out a tiny bleat and she smiles. "Aren't you just a beaut of a baby, yes you are..." Immediately going into Mum Mode, she says, "Go get the towels."

Can't disobey my wife when she's like this. So I get the towels we'd used to dry ourselves after the swim in the pond, and she uses them to wipe off the little guy, sweet talking him (for it is a he) the entire time.

"Adorable darling baby," she croons to it. Would never have thought of a cow as 'adorable' or 'darling' but that's Liss for you. Then, "We can't leave him here all alone."

I've already thought of this. "No, we can't."

"So...? We take him home with us?"

I smile. "Well, not inside the house with the rest of our bunch, but yes, at least back to the farm. There's a couple of others just calved recently, and I'm thinking we can get one of them to adopt him. If not...we'd have to bottle feed him ourselves."

"Oh, the kids would LOVE that!" There is nothing more beautiful, at this moment, than the sight of Lissy covered in filth with this baby calf in her arms. "Will the horses carry it?"

"Honey will. Don't know how Sugar would be, so you'd better let me take him...I can hold onto him, in front. We'll pack all the other stuff on Suge instead." After reassuring her little pet she'll be back, Liss comes to help me. The calf looks to be just fine, though sort of shell-shocked, as it tries to stand, big knobbly legs wobbling, and then sits straight down again. It keeps trying, though, and if I didn't know any better I'd just assume it was one of Lissy's kids because I can recognise the same determination she has. Hell, for all intents and purposes now, it IS Lissy's.

She helps me move supplies from Honey to Sugar, and then I carefully scoop the little one up in my arms and set him on the horse, right in front of the saddle. She sidesteps a bit at the unfamiliar, live weight, but then, as expected, calms. The calf, too, is amazingly still, as if it realises we're pretty much its only chance. Liss gives it a last fond pat on the head before mounting up on Sugar right beside me. Then, with a final sad, regretful glance at the poor dead mum, we're off.

We move kind of slow because I don't want the calf to inadvertently kick Honey and spook her, though the small fella's content 'cause he knows he's going somewhere where he's going to be cared for. Lissy stays alongside, keeping a watchful mum's eye on him. I'm proud of her for doing her part right there beside me and not getting all hysterical or freaked out about things. Of course, she's given birth herself so I reckon she knows how it is, but still, I know her sorrow over the death of the calf's mother.

"Is he all right?" She leans over and scratches him between the eyes; he just looks at her and tries to lick her fingers. 

"He's fine, Liss." A pause, then I tell her, "You were absolutely incredible back there. I'm really proud of you, Angel." 

"We couldn't save his mama, though." 

I sigh, lift one hand to my head long enough to mop my brow, then put it back on Junior to hold him steady. "That's the way of it, I'm afraid. I'm sorry you had to witness that." Thank God the cow died on its own; otherwise I'd have had to been merciful and put a bullet into her head so she wouldn't continue to suffer. And that's something I wouldn't want to have to do with Lissy right there, although if what I already observed about her is any indication, she'd have taken it admirably well, I suspect.

"Better me than Lily," she says. "You know she'd not have taken lightly to any of it, right?" 

Lil is soft-hearted to any innocent creature and I know she'll be sad just with us telling her about it. But I can see Liss is trying to mask her own hurt. "You're not, either," I observe, tenderly. "But we saved the calf, and that's something."

"Yes, it is." She smiles at me. "Boy, when you promised adventure today, you weren't kidding, were you?"

This was far from what I'd had in mind, but all in all, it's been a pretty satisfying day, in more ways than one. "How're your hands?" I ask, reaching over to take one in mine and examine the palm. The rope we had was fairly soft, but still, there are pinkish marks from the slight burns she got pulling.

"Russ, I'm fine." She looks at the rest of herself. "Although I'm completely filthy and I need a bath something awful." 

We both look a bit worse for wear. "You've never looked lovelier," I say though, honestly. 

Laughing, Liss shakes her head. "Now I KNOW you're crazy," she responds. 

When we get to the house, someone was obviously waiting for our return, because the door opens and here comes Lily, running to meet us. She stops short when she sees the extra passenger I've got with me. "Why'd you bring home a baby cow, Daddy?"

"Calf," Lissy corrects, hopping down. "It's a long story but we'll tell you in a bit." 

Just then Uncle Terry comes out of the house carrying Tyler; he, too, stops dead at the sight of Liss covered in assorted guck and me turning from Honey with the little one in my arms. "What in the---?"

"We had another baby." Liss grins at his confusion and reaches to pet her special delivery. Tyler, who squirms to be let down, comes running to his mum but pauses just short of throwing his arms around her when he sees and probably smells her. "Mama had a cow baby?" he asks, thoroughly baffled.

"Mama didn't have a cow baby, a cow had a cow baby," Lil corrects him. Then, the inevitable, "Where's HIS mama?"

"That," my wife tells her gently, "is the long story we're going to tell you about. Right now, we need to be the ones to take care of him." She would take him from me but my brother stops her. "Here, look, why don't you go get cleaned up some, and I'll help with the horses and get this one settled?"

I can tell she wants to come with us. "Go get out your purple stuff, love, and take a long, hot bubble bath...he'll be fine."

"You're dirty, too."

Grinning at her, I reason, "I wasn't the one right there at the end of things, literally...you're worse than me, so go freshen up." She does so, reluctantly, with a loudly yelled, "Coming through!" to warn the rest of the household. Apparently her entrance causes quite a stir because in less than thirty seconds everyone left in the house, our dog Max included, is coming out to take a look.

I make Lil and Tyler go back into the house much as they want to get up close and personal with our little friend because we have enough to worry about without fear of them getting filthy or trampled, either. As we work at getting the animals situated and such I tell Terry the truncated version of our adventures, leaving out most of what happened in and around the pond and concluding with the birth of the calf and the death of its mum.

"She did all that?" My brother's suitably impressed. 

"She'd have pulled him out all by herself, if I'd let her." 

He lets out a low whistle. "If I could bake, I'd make HER a chocolate cake." 

We're trying to rig up some sort of giant baby bottle to feed the calf with, until we can bring in another of the cows to see if they'll take to him. Liss comes back to the barn, looking fresh and clean and even more lovely, with Tyler and Lily each holding one of her hands.

"Is he gonna sleep in here?" Tyler asks, peering at him. 

"No, he's gonna sleep with you, in your bed," I tease him, laughing when he looks dumbfounded at this. "Yeah, until we see if one of the other cows will take him as theirs, then he'll head out with the rest of the lot."

"Mum told us his mama died." Lil looks sad at this. "It's a good thing you guys were there to help him be born, huh?"

"He'll be right now." Lissy gives her a hug. "He's safe and we're going to feed him, and it'll be okay." I lift the bottle up; we used an empty clean one that used to hold a couple of litres of juice, out of the kitchen; and we rigged a makeshift nipple by fastening an old clean waterproof glove over the opening, cutting a hole in the finger. The baby eagerly latches onto this and begins drinking hungrily. This delights the kids; they watch with rapt fascination.

"We're not going to have to do this every few hours...?" Liss asks. I know without having to ask her that she fed the twins before coming back out, knowing their schedule and how long she can go in between.

"No, we sent one of the blokes off to fetch one of the cows; with any luck, she'll adopt him and we can turn him out tomorrow." I look at my young son, who's literally bouncing from one foot to another but holding back asking. "Want a go, Tyler?"

"Yay!" I have to help him since the bottle's large and the calf is rather eager. He laughs as the little one pulls on it. 

"I want a turn," Lily says, so they switch soon and she gets to feed him, too. 

"What we gonna name it?" Tyler wants to know. 

"Well." I look at Liss; knew this was going to happen. They want to keep the little guy as a pet. "Normally you don't name cows, you know."

"He's a special one, though, Daddy." 

"Lily..." Liss sits in the straw beside her, and lifts Tyler onto her lap. "When the other cow gets here, if she wants to keep him, he's going out to the north paddock with the rest of them."

"But..."

"It's important," I try to explain, "for a cow to be a cow. Now, how do you think he'd feel if he knew all the other ones were off being cows, and he had to stay here and he never got to know what he might be missing? If he didn't get to take a chance and explore and make friends and be happy?" Lil looks thoughtful and I know she's remembering what we talked about earlier, about being brave and taking chances and not missing any wonderful opportunities.

"He WAS brave," she says. "'Cause not to have his mum, that would be scary. And he could have run away..." (I'm not going to point out how gangly he still is and how either one of us would have caught him before he took two steps), "...but he didn't. He came with you. And now, he will be brave and go out with all the other cows he doesn't know, right?" She looks at us. I exchange a glance with Lissy and know that she realises the main point of this life lesson.

"Right." He's sucked the bottle dry; I help her wrest it away from him and we both give him a pat. "That's not to say we can't ride out once in awhile and check to make sure he's okay."

"Tell you what," Lissy suggests. "If Uncle Terry doesn't mind looking after the twins again tomorrow, or Nana and Papa..." Uncle Terry nods his agreement; he's enjoying this family interaction, "...he can stay here tonight and then, in the morning, we can all ride out there with him and his new mommy and see him off."

"That's good." I think Lil's remembering my promise that we'd see her to and from school. "Then he won't be as scared to try something new. 'Cause he'd know we love him." Tyler nods his agreement; I'm in a way sorry we're not going to allow him to stay around but I picture in a year or so a huge bull following the kids around like a pup. "Absolutely."

"Okay, well, let's let him get some rest, and then when his new mommy gets here, we can come back and see if he'll be all right," Liss tells them. From the look in her eyes, I reckon she was picturing the same thing, Lily leading Junior on a leash tied to a ring in his nose or something like that. "Nana's probably getting supper ready, I need to check on Jaden and Emmy...and I'm supposed to make Uncle Terry a chocolate cake."

We all leave the little calf contentedly lying there in a stall in a bed of hay. "Mum," Lily says, skipping back to the house with her hand in mine, "why were you guys in the barn for so long before you headed off?"

Lissy blushes and looks pointedly at my brother. "What did Uncle Terry tell you?"

"He said I was to ask you when you got home." I cough to cover up a laugh; he begins walking far ahead of us to the house.

"I have to make his cake," Liss says, sweetly, loud enough for him to hear clearly. "So, while I'm doing that, he'll be HAPPY to explain to you. Otherwise, he's not going to get any cake at all." Now I do let out a guffaw and she adds, "Daddy would love to tell you, too, wouldn't you, Daddy?"

Lily looks expectantly at me as Liss shoots me an innocent look back over her shoulder and then blows me a kiss. She'll get hers later, after all the kids are asleep, I can guarantee you that.

Before I go to clean myself up, I make up some sorry excuse to my daughter that Liss and I were talking in the barn, and we had some things to do first (which is kind of sort of true, so I'm not actually lying), and this seems to satisfy Lil's immense curiosity. Terry backs me up and also lets Liss off the hook where his cake's concerned until tomorrow. "Seeing as how you've delivered a calf, and gone through other...taxing physical activity," he tells her, with a knowing look in his eye. Lissy's used to him by now so he's lucky he only gets off with a smack on the shoulder and a look right back, although she still gets a slight blush to her since we're around my dad and mum.

Liss is grateful to be around Emily and Jaden; once we get back in the house she's got both of them and I can hardly convince her to set them down long enough to eat---I suppose watching the cow die in childbirth reminded her of giving birth to them and how she's thankful to have them safe and sound.

After supper we're told that the cow selected to be Junior's new mum has been brought to the barn and if we like, we can see if she'll take to him. Both Tyler and Lily are still worried about the small fella so all of us, including the twins, Jaden in my arms and Em in her mother's, head off to see.

This one's own was recently weaned so I reckon there won't be too much sibling rivalry amongst them; it's getting the big one to accept the newborn as hers that will be the test. They've brought the older calf with her; this one's a girl and when we bring ours out, she immediately goes for him and nuzzles his ear.

The older children are perched atop the fence to watch. Lil laughs. "She likes him!"

"It's not her I'm worried about, sweetheart; it's the mama." She sniffs the newcomer; the little one, brave as always, just stands there and lets her check him out. I think we're all holding our breath to see; and I reckon in a way Lil and Tyler are hoping she'll reject him so we really can keep him around as a pet. However, pretty soon she's nudging the baby into place with her nose and he instinctively goes to the proper spot and begins to feed.

"Goody!" Tyler about falls off the rail in his excitement. Liss gently shushes him as the cow turns her head to look at us as if wondering what the fuss is about.

"Well, that's done, then." We lift the kids down and all head back to the house. 

"But we still have to turn him loose tomorrow." This from Lily, who still looks residually sad but resigned. 

"It's what's best for him, muffin." Lissy says, comforting Emmy, who's beginning to fret; she reaches and pats Lily with her free hand.

"But now he's got a family, he's got a sister and a mum and so he'll be happy."

"Families make you happy," Tyler solemnly agrees. I look at all of them and meet Lissy's eyes over their heads. "Pretty much so," I have to agree. Definitely so.

Later that night, after the older children are tucked into bed, the two of us are cosy in our own bed with Jaden and Emily. We've just fed them for the evening; they're getting so they sleep nearly through the night even at this young age, nearly five or six hours at a stretch.

Both are lying there in between us. Liss bends over them, making small cooing noises, and Jaden kicks his arms and legs while Emily smiles. When I join her in leaning over them, they gurgle and become even more animated.

Lissy's so absorbed in watching the babies and I know her so well that I can about figure what she's thinking. "You're still thinking about the calf and the mum, aren't you?"

She also knows me so well that she doesn't even look surprised. "Yes." Then, "If...if we'd come across her sooner...would it have made a difference?"

I look at my wife. "I don't know," I admit truthfully. "But you can't..."

"I know I can't." She holds her finger out and Em latches onto it, trying to tug it to her mouth. "But it doesn't stop me from thinking about it all the same." 

Once again, I try to think of exactly what to say. Because I don't think anything I can say will comfort Liss or erase the memory of the cow dying as she watched helplessly. "Don't let it haunt you, baby," I tell her finally. "We did what we could, and we saved Junior...he's got a new life ahead of him and you can't have any regrets about it."

She thinks about this and nods. Still letting Emmy hold onto her hand, she reaches across and smoothes Jaden's cheek with the other. "I love you," I tell her because that's what's in my own mind right now.

Now she gazes over at me and smiles. "I love you, too."

"Let me tell ya something, sweetheart...and I'm not just saying it, I mean it...I'd be proud to have you working out there beside me any day. You're one hell of a cowgirl."

Liss gives me that sweet, teasing smile of hers. "I'm a DROVER," she says, mimicking Lily's remarks earlier. "I'm only a cowgirl when I'm in America, remember?"

"You're also my Aussie Kiwi Yankee Cowgirl Drover," I tell her. "And you're a mighty fine one if ever I saw one." I pull her against me and kiss her; then we both just sit there gazing at our babies until they start to get sleepy. Everything's right between us but what we've shared today, it brought us even closer and will be an experience I don't think either of us will ever forget.

The next day, after brekkie, we leave the twins with my family and go to take Tyler and Lily to see Junior off to his new life in the north paddock. Both children, eager to go out with Mum and Dad riding, have dressed in their miniature riding clothes and are completely ready for a morning of adventure. Don't know it will be all that, and with them along, I'm hoping nothing...unexpected or unusual...will happen, but it feels good to do something all together just the same.

They're at the fence, talking to both calves under the watchful eye of the mama cow. Lissy's there to keep an eye on them while I saddle up Honey and Sugar. It's gonna be hard to let him go, because the little fella's taken a liking to them as well. He's pressed up against the rails letting them pet him.

"All right, guys, let's round 'em up and move 'em out." They reluctantly tear themselves away from their pet. "Who's going with whom?"

Tyler opts to ride with me, Lil with her mother. So we lift them up, I let the calves and cow out, Liss and I mount up behind them, and we're off.

The going's slow since we're at the cows' pace and they're in no hurry to get there soon. But it's another beautiful day, and I think we're simply content to enjoy it and our time with each other.

"Wish we could've taken Emmy and Jaden," Lily says. 

"When they're a bit older, then they can go riding, too," Liss says. The sister calf leaves our pack to wander after a choice bit of grass; immediately Lissy guides Sugar over to bring her back in with the others. Lily, acting every bit the part of the 'cowgirl drover', waves her hands around for emphasis to bring her in line.

Tyler, ever the rambunctious one, wants Honey to go faster than our easy walk; he keeps heeling her with his small booted feet and tries to slap the reins against her neck. She's used to his antics, however, and does a fine job of ignoring him. "Easy there, mate," I warn him.

Junior, used to us by now and considering us every bit as much his adoptive family as his bovine one, trots close beside Lil and Liss, at Sugar's side. Since he's staying right there and not interested in wandering, we let him remain there rather than out front like the other two, although every so often the mum cow slows or stops and checks to make sure he's coming along.

"I think he's gonna be fine, kids," I tell them, watching as the mum gets tired of him wanting to stay near Sugar and urges him alongside her instead. Junior obeys but with amusement I notice he now keeps glancing back at Lissy to make sure she's still there. "Even though he thinks your Mum is his Mum, too."

"Well, Mama DID help him be born," Lily says. Tyler adds, laughing, "I gots a cow brother!" 

We all laugh at this as we head up a small incline and then, on the other side, are where all of the other cows have gathered. Both kids sober at the sight. "Here's his new home," Liss says.

"I want to tell him bye," Lil insists, Tyler's head, as always, bobbing in total agreement with his sister. "You can tell him bye, sweetheart," I reassure. 

"Can I get down and tell him?" she asks. Lissy, knowing how this is for them, dismounts and then lifts her down beside her, there in the grass; I do the same with Tyler and we all stand there. The little fella comes right up to them; the mum and sister, as if realising this is a private family moment, gives him some space even though both are keeping a watchful eye on him.

"Now, baby cow," Lily says, "this is where you'll live, with the other cows. It's not so bad...they'll be nice to you...and you have food and water and Daddy will come out to check on you and maybe we will, too. So be good and have a good cow life, okay?" Although I'm trying not to laugh at her solemnity, I'm also quite touched with her concern, and looking over at my wife I can see she's feeling much the same. Lil rubs him between the eyes, stopping just short of kissing him, and then comes to stand against Lissy, clinging to her hand.

Tyler just happily says, "Bye, moo cow!" and leaves it at that. He's got quite a spirit, that one, and I reckon if we'd let him he'd go wild and live out here with them, or become part of a herd of wild brumbies, he's got that adventuresome a streak in him.

"You have to tell him bye, too," Lil insists, so I simply tell him, "See you around, mate," and give him an affectionate pat. Liss now looks as emotionally touched as Lily did and I'm sort of wondering exactly what she's thinking.

"You're all right," she tells him, petting him. "Go with God."

Tyler frowns, puzzled. "Isn't he goin' with the other cows?"

Liss laughs but I can see her eyes are suspiciously moist. He won't budge so she says, "Shoo!" and waves her hands at him. He takes a few steps and hesitates; so our son runs after him, both arms flapping. "Go home, cow!" The calf finally goes trotting to join up with his family as I go fetch Tyler to keep him from starting a stampede. Soon, other cattle are milling around them and they become lost to our sight somewhere in the midst of all of them.

"All right." Liss hugs me as I briefly take her in my arms and hug and kiss her. "Let's go home to the babies and some chocolate cake." 

Somehow now even I feel a bit bereft at the loss of our little mate back there, but I look at Liss and the kids, think of the two waiting back at the house, not to mention the promise of Lissy's world famous chocolate cake, and I'm pretty damn content right now.