Originally written April 2003.

 

 

After Lissy accepted his proposal, Russ swept her up in his arms and carried her into the suite. He knew he was asking her to take the biggest step in her life, the biggest leap of faith he could ever ask of her. And she'd said yes. After all the uncertainty, fear, the slow building of trust that they'd been working on so patiently and so carefully, she'd agreed to be his. He knew a joy he'd never felt before, a complete sense of peace.

They made love, this time slow and tender, and afterwards, when she lay quietly in his arms, he suggested they call his parents, since it was daytime back home. She was nervous, understandably so, because she hadn't yet met them but was already going to be a part of his family. He reassured her and then made the call. His mum answered and after talking to her for a bit, he broke the news that he was engaged to Lissy. She still lay there, watching him, and looked slightly panicked when he told her that his mother wanted to speak to her.

"I can't."

"It's okay, love. Go ahead." He handed her the phone and she said shyly and tentatively, "Hello?"

Now it was his turn to watch her. She smiled as she listened to what his mum had to say, began to speak with that sweet gentleness that he loved about her. Soon, as she had when she'd first met him, she was talking easily to her as if they'd known each other for quite some time. Then in a whisper, Lissy told him, "She's putting your dad on. He wants to talk to me, too." Russ just smiled and kissed her, as on the other end he could hear his father come on. Lissy talked to him just as easily, and then to his concern, got tears in her eyes. "I'd...I'd like that. Thank you. Just a minute, he's right here." She handed him the phone back, and he whispered, "Are you okay?"

She only nodded, but smiled and he quickly spoke to his dad for a few moments. His parents were understandably excited, both about Lissy and about the fact they were coming home in a few days. When he'd hung up, she was still crying softly. "Hey..." he took her in his arms and held her close. "What did Dad say to you?"

"He said...he said...." she was finding it hard to speak, she was that choked up. "He said that you'd told him about me, and that he knew I wasn't close to my father...and he said he was looking forward to being my dad, too. That he'd always wanted a daughter and he was glad you'd found me." She sighed as he snuggled her against him. "I can't believe they're so nice and they haven't even met me."

"They love you because they know I love you. That's reason enough for them." He looked deep into her eyes. "Lissy, you're still scared, aren't you?"

She nodded. "So am I," he told her, much like the time when they'd first admitted their feelings for one another. "But we're going to make this work. I promise."

"I know. I trust you, Russell." It wouldn't be real if they still didn't have fears and doubts. He knew there would be trials ahead for them, simply because of who he was. She would have to endure things most women in a relationship never had to worry about. But so far, she'd handled everything about him with easy grace and he felt that with his help, she could adjust.

Tomorrow would be the big test. It would be their first day together away from the comfortable confines of the set, out in the world on their own. 

They WOULD make it work. Together, always together. They would.

 

The next day they went to tell her family about the engagement and about Lissy traveling to Australia. They had decided the night before that only their families would know for now. Russell had told her that he wanted her to have time to get used to it all: going somewhere new, meeting the people that were important to him, adjusting to the way he had to live his life, before going public with the news. Once that happened, things would get crazy, and he was already concerned enough about that without bringing it on all of a sudden. So, they agreed that when they were alone she would wear her beautiful ring, but other than that she'd keep it on a chain under her clothing. "Next to my heart," Lissy had told him, with that sweet, gentle, understanding smile of hers, and he'd held her close and kissed her, sorry already for the problems, but grateful she could realize how it had to be.

Her family was excited for them. He could tell they were also somewhat worried about what her life with him would be like, but they had already accepted him into their circle so, like her; they seemed to be willing to learn to take things in stride. The children were more disappointed that the two of them were going to Australia without them rather than be thrilled about the marriage, until Russell patiently explained to them that when they came over to visit for the wedding (they'd already decided they were getting married there rather than the States) they could play with his animals all they liked. He was amused that this was the draw for them rather than his addition into the family.

Lissy watched him speaking to her niece and nephew. He was so good with children, and they clearly adored him. First, he knelt down at their level to talk to them, and then he sat with both of them on his lap and told them more about what they might see in Australia when they came to visit him, and about his horses. She loved watching Russ with them. They both chattered eagerly to him, and he'd listen carefully to everything they had to say before responding. She thought about what a wonderful father he'd be, when they had a child. Just the thought of having his baby made her want to cry, she loved him so much.

After they left her mother's house, driving back to the hotel where they would spend just a little longer while she finished finalizing things and packing for the trip, he glanced at her as he drove. Their guards were in a separate car behind so he had her all to himself. She was playing with the ring he'd given her and was very quiet as she sat beside him. "Are you all right, love?"

He knew she was probably already thinking of how much she would miss everyone while she was away with him. He hoped she wasn't beginning to have second thoughts about any of it. Her response surprised him. "I loved seeing you with the kids. You're fantastic with them. It...It made me think of how you'll be...when we have kids of our own."

The thought of Lissy pregnant with his child made his heart swell. God, they were really planning a future together. 

"How many children do you want, Liss?"

She smiled and gave a tiny shrug. "I don't know. At least two, I guess. So they'll have each other and won't be all alone. How many do you want?"

He had to return her smile as he lifted her hand in his and kissed it. "I want whatever you want, Lissy. I just want a life with you, a chance to be happy with you." "That's all I want too, Russell." She squeezed his fingers with hers and he ran his thumb lightly back and forth over her ring as he skillfully maneuvered the car along the freeway. "We'll work everything out somehow," he told her.

There were a lot of things to work out. She would be making the greater adjustment of the two of them; leaving everything that was familiar to her to build a new life with him. But he'd promised her---and he kept vowing to himself---that he would do his best to make it as easy on her as he could. They'd talked about it a little the previous night and he'd thought of nothing else since he'd made the decision to ask her to marry him. Already he had plans in his head of either building or buying a house here and somehow managing to work things so they could be here a part of each year, close to her family and friends. Of how they would manage to cope with his crowded work schedule, all the travel, all the time they WOULDN'T be at home. He wanted Lissy by his side, as much as possible, and although he knew that was somewhat selfish, he was hoping they would be able to find something for her to do that would allow her to do just that. She'd mentioned once shyly to him that she had a dream to be a writer. He'd encouraged her, and was hoping she'd try pursuing that for awhile. He had no intentions of holding her back from anything she wanted to do but hoped desperately she chose to include him in whatever she decided.

And when they had a baby that would change things as well. He couldn't foresee taking his wife and child all over the world with him; they would have to work that out as well. Maybe he'd cut back on the acting; figure out a way to stay a full-time dad and be very involved in the kid's life. There was no way he'd miss anything, when the time came. They'd already decided they would take just a bit of time for themselves and then work on having a baby as soon as possible. It was something they both wanted and they truly didn't plan to wait very long.

But he felt absolutely confident when he repeated, "We WILL work everything out, Lissy. I promise."

 

Two days later, they were on a plane headed to Los Angeles. They would spend a few more days there while Russell tied up some stuff he had to do with the movie studio, and then it was on to Australia and his family. She'd done what she could to settle what she could at home without arousing too much suspicion; later, when things were closer to being settled for the two of them marriage-wise, she planned to sell her little house and come back to finalize plans for the big move.

As they got out of the airport, security people in tow, just walking through the terminal, they were photographed. He was used to that; often the paparazzi would lie in wait at the airport simply to take snaps of the regular comings and goings of the famous. Security quickly surrounded them and kept anyone from getting too close, but the damage had been done. Of course, they were innocent enough shots, simply of them together, but the photos would spread and news would get out that Lissy was actually traveling with him and therefore was more than just the rumored on-set fling they'd been reporting. When they touched down in Australia, he'd have to be even more vigilant about protecting her. The Aussie press was notoriously ruthless and would be on their case all the time. Once they found out she was staying with him at his home there would be no turning back.

She didn't flinch, didn't try to hide when the photographers moved in for the kill. She continued to hold his hand, her head high, although she didn't look at them and certainly didn't go out of her way to make things easy for them, either. He was proud of her for that, a fact he mentioned when they were safely tucked away in the hotel.

"I don't know how you get used to it," she said softly. It didn't seem to really bother her, other than what she felt for him. He so loved that about her, her sweet protectiveness, even though she couldn't do much about it.

"You don't ever, Lissy. Sometimes it's very hard to pretend that they're not there. But...you know, you just keep on living your life, going about your business, and try not to let it get to you." He bent over her and kissed her forehead. "You were a trooper back there, love. You did good."

"It's only going to get worse for you once they find out I'm really with you..." It was going to get worse for her, too, but he didn't need to tell her that, he could see the knowledge of it in her expression. She sighed, though, and what she said next surprised him. "We'll stick together and make the best of it we can."

He tipped her face up to gaze into her big, brown eyes. "How is it you're so damn smart about all of this, anyhow?"

Her answer to that absolutely floored him. So simple, yet it said it all. "Because I love you, Russell." 

Holding her close, he knew that was the most basic and at the same time, the most perfect reason of all.

 

A couple of days later, he came across her sitting cross-legged on the bed in the hotel suite with her laptop. She was staring intently at something on the screen. Plopping down beside her, he said, "What're you reading, love?" and then noticed what she was looking at.

It had begun. She was on one of the many websites that fans had dedicated to him. He always found it amusing, but rather flattering, and every once in awhile went on them himself, just to see what people were saying about him. Mostly just the usual mishmash of gossip that was prevalent in the magazines. Once in a while they'd have some tidbit completely made up that even he hadn't read yet. One of the photos from the airport was already posted online with an article speculating about their relationship.

"Don't read that shit, Lissy," he told her, reaching out with one hand to smooth it down her hair. He rubbed her back and tried to look into her eyes to gauge her reaction.

"I can't believe the sorts of things they're saying." Her voice was small. "Things like I'm nothing to you; that I'm just some...some...novelty to you and you're going to get rid of me when you're bored of me. That I'm some sort of gold digger only after you for your celebrity and your money. They make us seem so cheap and dirty."

"You know it's not the truth, sweetheart. Hell, I KNOW you're not with me for the wrong reasons. You fought having a relationship with me every step of the way." She nodded, remembering her initial resistance to him and the way he'd worn down all the carefully constructed barricades around her heart. He smiled. "And I'd NEVER get bored with you....You fascinate me, and I love you." He tried to make her feel better. "Look at what a beautiful couple we make." He pointed to the photo, which made her laugh, because both of them were rather casual-looking, almost unkempt, in it, and they both had equally pained, slightly pissed-off, matching expressions. "Lissy, please do me a favor. No matter what you hear, no matter what people tell you, don't go online anymore and read this shit. Okay? It's only going to upset you or make you angry, and it's not worth it. I will always be honest with you. I'll always let you know what's going on, or you know you can ask and I'll tell you straight out. You will always be able to trust me. I'll always trust you. We will always be able to talk about anything. Got that?"

"Yes." She logged off her computer and closed it, then carefully set it aside and came willingly into his arms. He just lay there with her holding her for the longest time, and then he made slow, sweet, incredible love to her. Despite the initial impression he'd had the very first time he'd met Lissy that she was shy and reserved, to his delight, he'd found that she was uninhibited and open, even eager, with him in bed. She'd told him once that she gave her heart freely to him, 110%, without limits, and that extended to her body and the fullness of her love as well. When she loved someone, she loved with every fiber of her being, and he felt it completely when he was with her.

 

 

The flight to Australia was long, but this time Russ felt better because Lissy was with him. They talked during those lengthy hours, about what she could expect to see there, about little things. He caught interested glances their way several times, and knew that rumors were already flying about the two of them. He didn't give a shit, though. They still held hands, cuddled a little...he'd be damned if he'd pretend she didn't mean so much to him, just for the sake of rumors. They'd go flying about no matter what, anyhow. Not that he was going to be indiscreet where she was concerned, but he wouldn't tuck her away and try to hide her as if she was something to be ashamed of, either. Damn them.

When they landed, their photo was snapped again. She didn't seem to mind, though he knew the ugly rumors still weighed a bit on her mind. But she was quickly learning what to take simply at face value and what was truly important, where he...no, they...were concerned. They spent the night at his place in Sydney, tired after the travel, but he was eager to get her to the safety and security of the farm and just allow both of them to simply BE, with his family.

The next morning, as they were eating breakfast, they were both amazed to see that very airport photo in the newspaper, with an accompanying blurb:

 

 

"I can't believe this!" She was angry. "How dare they say those sorts of things about us? About you?"

"Lissy, believe me, I've read worse. Baby...I told you not to read this shit anymore. It's only going to bother you, there's nothing you can do to stop it, and I don't like to see you get all hurt or upset." He was touched she was so appalled on his behalf. One thing he'd quickly learned about Lissy, especially that night she'd found out he'd secretly put security detail on her and they'd had a fight: she only looked shy, sweet and quiet, but get her riled up and she was ferocious. Deep down inside, she was tough, strong and quite the fighter.

She stabbed her finger at the offending article. "They're already predicting we'll be a failure. How dare they? They don't even know what it's like for us." 

"No, they don't," he said soothingly. He figured he just needed to let her vent; get it all out of her system. 

"And I'm not the 'latest in a long line' of ANYTHING where you're concerned, I'll have you know." 

This time he couldn't help the smile that threatened on his face. "No...Of course not, sweetheart." 

She turned her ire on him now. "Do you find this somehow funny, Russ? Cause personally, I find it distasteful. I know you're used to this, but I'm still trying, and I know it's all a bunch of complete bullshit, but..." The air seemed to go out of her sails; she realized she was ranting, and she sank back in her chair with a soft little sigh. Then her eyes met his and she gave him a tiny smile. "I know I'm overreacting. I'm sorry."

He reached over and took her hand in his. "Nothing to be sorry about, Liss." She was wearing his ring, since they were alone; he linked their fingers together and they both gazed at their clasped hands. "I know you're trying, love. And I know that things are strange...I know I come with a lot of excess baggage that you'd never have to deal with if I was just some average bloke...but please be patient with me, okay? It'll be a lot of mucking about, but we'll make it, Lissy, I promise. Just forget all that, and keep it real here with me, all right? 'Work it out together'. "He leaned across and kissed her. "Strength and honor," he intoned playfully, in his best Maximus voice, and she swatted him.

"Don't give me your Gladiator crap line, Crowe." But she laughed. He tugged at her hand, brought her off her chair and onto his lap. Framing his face between her hands, she looked deep into his eyes. "Want to know something?"

"What?"

"Even if you were 'just some average bloke', as you put it...you still wouldn't be average at all. You'd still be the most extraordinary, incredible bloke I think I've ever met." Her voice dropped to a low whisper as she added, "And the most extraordinary, incredible bloke I've ever loved."

They kissed slowly, and then he murmured, "Want to know something else?"

"What?"

"I want to love the hell out of you. Right here, right now. We have some time before we have to head off for home." 

She laughed again. He loved the sound of her laughter. Already he was tugging at her shirt, as she was working on his. Looking at the dining room table, she conceded, "At least get me to someplace soft. I don't want to meet your family all covered in bruises. You can be...quite enthusiastic, let's just say."

Chuckling, he lifted her and started heading for the bedroom. "I've never given you a single bruise in my life, and you know it." 

But they didn't make it to the bedroom. They got as far as the hallway before they both gave up and gave in. 

 

He almost wanted to breathe a sigh of relief when they got to the farm. It was a safe haven; a place where they could just live and do what they wanted and be themselves without fear of nasty press, gossip, and unwanted attention. Their love was strong; he didn't doubt that, they would be able to weather any storm together, but he still worried about what the pressure could do to Lissy. There WAS no pressure here, and for that, he was grateful.

He also intended, while they were here, to properly court her, the way she deserved to be. Crazy, since he'd already asked her to marry him and she'd accepted, but they'd not had a traditional relationship from the moment they'd met, and he wanted that. Doing ordinary couple things together, flowers, dinner, that sort of thing. He wanted their life together to have some semblance of normalcy, at least when he wasn't working. The ironic thing was, so far this was all going backwards. She'd already been in the thick of the celebrity of it, the downside; he wanted her to get a sense of stability and permanency, commitment and family now.

From the time she met his parents, she was immediately welcomed in. They were warm and loving from the start, even though they were all just meeting for the first time. She didn't seem to be overwhelmed by them at all; she bonded instantly with his mum and right before his eyes seemed to blossom under his dad's care and attention. He knew then he'd done the right thing by bringing her here.

She loved his home; as he'd hoped she would. It was so much different than her little house and far removed from what things were like for her back in the States; but she told him she instantly felt at peace here, and that made him feel good. It was now her home, too. He showed her around; she fell in love with the animals, especially his horses, and he promised her he'd take her riding with him in a day or so.

They spent that first evening just talking with his folks, one of those cozy family evenings that were simple yet nice. Finally his parents said they were tired and were going to bed; Lissy confessed that she still was adjusting to all the travel and the time changes and she would probably be right behind them in that. Both of his parents kissed and hugged her goodnight; his dad actually warned Russ to keep his hands off her and allow her a decent night's sleep; he snickered at that as Lissy blushed furiously.

"Don't mind Dad," he told her after they were alone. "He says these things to be literal, but they end up sounding slightly dirty. He just says what he thinks."

"Kind of like you," she teased him, yawning. Standing, she stretched and when he got up, she told him, "Don't think you have to come to bed just because of me."

"I want to cuddle with you, Liss; you got a problem with that?" He easily took her hand in his as they made their way to their bedroom. For her, it gave her a funny little thrill to see her clothes next to his in the closet and the drawers; for him, it was as if she had always belonged here with him.

She smiled, already starting to shed her clothing as they shut the door behind them and were suddenly in their own little private world alone with each other again.  "Just as long as you do as your dad says and mind your manners. Or I'll tell him in the morning."

"You'd never tell my dad what we did in here, love." He patted her bottom as she grabbed his flannie she used as a nightshirt and ducked into the bathroom ahead of him. "Or my mum, for that matter."

There was a pause as she did her nightly bedtime rituals in the bathroom and then came out. He'd stripped naked and she couldn't help admiring him for a brief moment before allowing him to take over in the bathroom. "Ha," was all she said, but she sounded drowsy and he knew she was only joking.

By the time he came back out, she was nearly asleep. He stood there for a moment and just looked at her, curled on her side, waiting for him. Slipping under the covers with her, he came to her, as was their special way, spooning together. Once he gently pressed his body to hers, he felt her relax completely and sigh softly, contentedly. He wrapped both arms around her and held her close. "I love you," she whispered. He leaned over her to kiss her. "Love you, too."

Locked away from the outside world like this, with Lissy nestled safe in his arms, secure in their love, he felt the utmost sense of calm and peace that he'd ever known.

 

The days that followed were idyllic for the two of them. They were spent in the routine of not having a routine. Whereas before, their time together was dictated by Russell's filming schedule and the logistics of going places with full security detail, here at the farm they would simply wake up and make up the day's activities as they went along.

They spent a lot of time as they had in the early stages of their relationship: talking and getting to know one another even better. Part of their routine that truly WAS such was taking the horses out nearly every day and exploring the surrounding land. Lissy had jokingly told him when they first met that she was a definite 'city girl'; but he found she loved the country and thrived out in the open.

She went shopping with his mum and niece; she joked and was able to hold her own in conversation with his dad and brother; and there was always the undeniable chemistry that she possessed with him. She stayed in touch with her own family back in the States and although he knew that she missed them, she had adapted well to life with him in Australia.

The 'movie star' aspect of his life didn't come into play until one night when they were lying in bed and he brought up the fact that in a month the Academy Awards would be coming up and he was to be a presenter. He'd known about this for some time, but had quite managed to forget it until now, because his agent had called the house that morning to talk business and had brought it up. The work was starting up again a little and the time spent holed away with Lissy was coming to a foreseeable end. They'd have to go back out into the world again for a bit.

"I thought...maybe you could go with me. As my date." It seemed so silly to even have to ask her. He felt for all intents and purposes, they were practically married anyhow, but this was exposing her to the spotlight again and he didn't take it lightly. "This will be our first official public appearance as a couple, Lissy...you know everyone knows we're seeing each other anyway, but we'll be photographed and such and it'll be a true matter of record then."

"Wow." He couldn't tell what she was thinking. Then she lifted her head to look at him and he caught the twinkle in her eyes. "The Academy Awards is a huge thing, Russ. All over the world. Couldn't we just start out with a smaller awards show? SAG or the MTV Movie Awards or something and then work our way up?"

"Nope. I'm not doing the whole awards thing this year, Liss, just the Oscars. Nothing but the best for my girl." He kissed the tip of her nose and she smiled. He knew she was okay with it then but was still a bit nervous about it all.

"Will you introduce me to big movie stars and such?"

"Oh, of course. Only women, though. Don't want you finding someone more appealing than me." He winked and she gave him a mock pout. "Oh, but of course I'D want to see all the pretty starlets YOU know, wouldn't I?" Batting her eyelashes at him in such a non-Lissy manner, she wheedled, "Can't you introduce me to Colin Farrell?"

"Don't really know him. He's too young for you, anyway." 

"Pierce Brosnan?"

"Don't know him personally, either. He's too married for you. What's with this Irish thing, anyway?"

"I'm only attracted to foreign men." She kissed him and laughed when he tickled her. "Do me a favor. Stick to THIS foreign bloke, okay?"

"C'mon, Russ. Surely you know a few good men to introduce me to?"

"All right. What if I only introduce you to men over sixty years old, how's that??"

"Hmmm..." she pretended to ponder, then, "Harrison Ford's sixty-ish, and he's VERY sexy. And if you know Sean Connery..."

"Lissy..." he sighed and she laughed again. "Russell. I'm NOT even going to be noticing anyone else, you know that." 

"Then you'll go?"

"Yes, I'll go. But the idea of all those cameras...it's a little daunting."

"You'll be fine, sweetheart. Listen, I know this is short notice, but...we'll find some pretty gown for you. And jewelry...we'll have to get something dazzling for you to wear."

"I can find something...." she was still so blessedly innocent about the whole of the celebrity thing. He shook his head. "Lissy, I'll make some calls in the morning. Which designers do you like?"

"Designers?" She looked genuinely puzzled. "I don't know any designers. Not personally, anyway." 

"Sweetheart..." he had to smile at that. "We'll find something stunning for you, I promise. You'll be the most beautiful one out there. They won't even notice all the famous actresses and supermodels with you out on that red carpet." Holding her close and kissing her, he reassured, "You're going to be an absolute princess out there."

"As long as I get to go to the ball with the handsome prince," she teased back. "And he keeps me from tripping and falling on my face on the red carpet."

"I won't leave your side, Lissy," he promised. 

 

After that, things subtly changed because they knew that their time there would soon be ending so they could fly to California and attend the Oscar ceremony.

At first, Lissy was rather overwhelmed. True to his word, the next day Russell made phone calls and in short order there were fabric samples and design sketches sent over from Italy. Italy!!! From Armani himself! She'd only HEARD of him, let alone ever dreamed of wearing anything made just for her by the world-famous designer, but Russell told her he was a friend and when he'd called was assured that it would be no problem creating something for her on such short notice. She wanted something simple, though, nothing elaborate, so when she finally chose her gown from something already in his collection, with the help of Russ' mother and niece, they were told that whipping it up in the color she wanted would be no trouble. And that they would send it over personally, with a person to alter it in time for the awards ceremony. She didn't even have to worry about finding a bag and matching shoes; she simply picked them out from a collection too and was told they would be delivered with the gown to California just before the awards ceremony. She truly felt like a princess. Russell had assured her that if she needed anything, all she had to do was ask; she was of course aware he definitely had money to spare and such, but really, life here was so simple with him that she forgot about all that, except when something like this came up and she was reminded that he was, indeed a celebrity; and occasionally, there were rather...perks...to being one.

 

A couple of weeks later, they regrettably left to head to Los Angeles for the Oscars. Russ had promised her that afterwards, they'd go back and spend some time with her family before anything else. They hadn't yet really discussed plans for the wedding, not even set a date or even decided when they would give the official word of their engagement. They hoped to maybe begin that after the Academy Awards when things settled down again.

Once again they were photographed flying in to LAX but she took it all in stride this time, was all right with the fact the bodyguards were an undeniable presence once more, was okay with discretion and the fact they would have to be more careful again. She had the initial gown fitting the day after they arrived, with a woman sent over from Milan just for this, just to take care of her gown until the big day she would actually wear it. It was amazing. She'd kept the design a secret from Russell, feeling like she was going to the prom like a teenager again, but on a much, much grander scale.

The next day they made a trip to Beverly Hills to one of the jewelry stores to pick out what she'd wear with the dress. Most of the more couture pieces were, of course, already spoken for by the big name actresses, but there was still a dazzling array to choose from, more sparkle and glitz than she'd ever seen in her life. She did let Russell in on the color of the gown then-lavender, so they could both choose something appropriate to borrow for the night. They chose a dainty white gold necklace and earrings with amethysts and tanzanite and diamonds that was fragile looking, not too ostentatious, but would showcase the gown---and more importantly, Lissy---to the best advantage. They would be delivered the day of the Oscars in time for her to dress for the show.

While they were there Russ bought her a pretty diamond pendant just for fun, a simple little piece, actually, but of course the press got wind of the jewelry shopping expedition, complete with the usual blurred photos of them and their guards entering and exiting the store, and ran with it.

 

 

All Russell had bought her was the pendant, only worth a couple of hundred dollars; the rest of the jewelry was only on loan for the night of the awards and would have to be returned once they were over; and they had gone back to the hotel immediately afterwards. But of course, that wasn't what was reported.

 

 

So, now it was ring shopping, when she hadn't even so much as LOOKED at rings...and no one knew he'd already given her one and they were in fact engaged. She couldn't believe how they outright made up stories or simply twisted the truth to make more exciting news. She tried to do what Russell said; ignore it all, but it was hard when her mom and her sister and even a friend or two called her wanting to know if what they were seeing at the supermarket checkstand aisle was true. Bless them, they all highly doubted it, taking most things they were seeing in print with a healthy dose of salt, but she began to fear Russ truly was right: The two of them were the only ones to ever really know the truth.

 

The day of the Academy Awards dawned with Russell cuddling her in bed and whispering in her ear, "Wake up, Princess. The grand ball's tonight," and she stirred sleepily before opening her eyes. "We've got hours yet."

"I know." He grinned suggestively at her. "So, what should we do to kill some time?" 

She giggled and reached for him. They ended up making love, slow and sweet and gentle, and then they dozed a little longer, woke, showered, got dressed, ordered breakfast in, ate and talked while they both made their predictions for that night's show, and then sort of just hung out in their suite until it was time to start getting ready.

Lissy commandeered the bedroom and bathroom first, because it was going to take her more time than him to get ready and she wanted to make sure everything was just right. He'd offered to get her someone to come and do her hair and makeup, but she'd declined, saying that was just too much for her and she certainly was more than capable of doing it herself.

He good naturedly looked at his wristwatch when he heard the bedroom door open. Then he looked up at her...and felt he'd just been slugged in the gut. 

She was beautiful. Her makeup was perfect, soft and delicate; her hair she'd done in a neat upsweep, simple and elegant. And the gown...it was perfect for her. It too was simple, clean, in a gorgeous metallic lavender color. The basic hue was that pretty lilac shade she'd told him about, but it was shot through with silver and so it gleamed when she moved. It had a snug fitting bodice and a lightly flaring long skirt with just a little fullness, thin fragile shoulder straps that crisscrossed over the low-cut back. The only embellishment was just a little beading on the bodice that exactly matched the beadwork on her small evening bag. She had on silvery high heeled sandals and truly did look like his fantasy princess. The only thing missing was the jewelry; they wouldn't deliver that until just before they left to go to the awards show.

"You're stunning, Lissy." He stood and came to kiss her, afraid he'd wrinkle her. She smiled, smoothing her skirt. "I'm afraid to sit down." Cautiously she came and sat on the couch; he simply stood before her and kept looking her over from head to toe. "God, you're so elegant. You'll put me to shame."

She blushed. "I will if you don't get moving and end up wearing THAT," his ever present flannel shirt/jeans combo, "so get going and get ready." He gave her a mock salute and disappeared into the other room.

When he came back out, he was immaculately attired in his formal tux. She let her gaze go over him, too, with deep feminine admiration. "You clean up quite nicely, sweetheart." There was a knock at the door then; her jewelry had arrived, with its own security guard. They would be quite the entourage tonight. She put on the earrings and he helped her with the necklace; as she'd hoped, they accented her dress perfectly. The darker purples of the stones brought out the actual sheen of the gown; and the white gold made the silvery tones more prominent. She wasn't able to wear her engagement ring around her neck with the dipping neckline of the dress; but Russell told her to wear it on her right hand; with all the jewels and all the other stars, no one would even notice. "However," he told her, as they were getting ready to head out, "if you really DID leave it on the proper finger, they'd hone in on that right away, trust me."

It was the first time she'd ever ridden in a limousine. They were truly doing the star treatment tonight. When they got close to the theater, she could see exactly how crazy it would be. There were a zillion screaming fans, not to mention more cameras than she'd ever seen assembled in a single place in her life. They had to wait their turn to pull up and get out of the car, and just as the limo rolled to a stop, Russ took her hand in his and looked into her eyes. "Ready?"

She nodded; he kissed her softly. "I'll not let go of you, Liss. It'll be okay. Just have fun with me tonight, all right?" She nodded again, and then the door opened. He stepped out; she could hear the screaming grow to a fever pitch when the fans realized it was him, and then he was helping her out of the car and the noise grew positively deafening. They had their usual bodyguards, she felt more secure cause David, her personal guard, was here right behind her, and, true to his word, there was no way Russ was letting go of her hand. She couldn't believe it because from the moment they stepped onto that fabled red carpet, there were stars every time she turned her head. Russell introduced her to the ones he personally knew; some actually came up to them and introduced themselves, and her head was spinning at it all. Wow. What a fantasy.

And everywhere the flashbulbs. Fans taking photos and the media taking photos. It was truly insane. They kept calling out names, trying to get the stars to turn a certain way for a certain shot. She heard "Russell...over here...Russell...Russell..." and was absolutely floored when they called her by name, too, trying to catch her attention. They stopped several times to politely pose for a photo, and she tried not to look like a deer caught in the headlights of a rapidly approaching car. At one point he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Are you okay?" She nodded and he murmured softly in her ear again, "Relax. You're prettier than anyone else here," which made her smile. He then couldn't help himself, he nuzzled her gently before letting her go; it was the photo that would be going around the world the next day.

He gave a couple of brief on carpet interviews to the various entertainment shows, which she knew wasn't really his thing, but she was proud of him for trying to swallow his distaste and do it anyway. They of course all asked after her, trying to get some sort of scoop, but he'd only introduce her as "This is Lisa", or "She's a very special friend of mine", and let them draw their own conclusions.

Finally they made it inside and found their seats. She sighed. "Whew." 

"You did good out there with the barracudas, Lissy." She knew he meant the press; not his favorite thing on earth. The show hadn't started yet so he leaned over and kissed her cheek. "That was the hard part. It's all fun and games from here on out."

"It was kind of fun out there...Tom Hanks bumped into me, Russ! Me! And then he said "Excuse me." Can you believe it?"

Russell looked amused. "I'm sure he only did it to be polite. The apologizing part, not the bumping into you part. I'm fairly certain THAT was an accident." She nudged him in the ribs and he grinned even more.

"Julia Roberts said hello to me! I'm still in shock over that one."

"Well, she's a pretty friendly gal. She'll do that once in awhile." But his teasing wouldn't deter her excitement. He found it endearing. 

"And Meryl Streep told me I looked beautiful." She shook her head in disbelief. "I told her what a wonderful actress I thought she was, and she complimented me! Wow."

"You ARE beautiful. She has very good taste." The lights went down and he took advantage of that to swiftly kiss her again. "Here you go. Enjoy the show, love."

 

She had a remarkable time. After all the years of watching the awards program on television, even the time Russell won his first Oscar, sitting there in her pajamas, it was amazing to realize she was actually there in person, WITH Russell, in a beautiful gown and sparkling jewels. Feeling like Cinderella at the royal ball, she hoped the clock would never strike midnight and end it all.

The only time Russell wasn't with her was when he had to go present his award. She watched him full of pride and love; the cameras caught her rapt gaze at him, she would find out the next day when her family called. It was unbelievable.

After the awards, they went to the ultra-swanky Governor's Ball, where she met even more stars she'd only watched from afar on the silver screen. She was content to sit in a corner with Russ; her eyes wide as she took it all in; his greatest joy was sitting there watching her. You tended to get jaded at these sorts of things after awhile, and he loved seeing things as Lissy saw them. He could see the wonder of it all through her eyes and it made him love her all the more. In time, she'd probably grow more accustomed to it, too, but tonight it was all magical and thrilling to her, and he enjoyed that.

She looked dazed when a familiar looking willowy redhead came through the crowd and right up to them. "Russ, I've been wanting to meet your girlfriend." 

"Hey...Nicki...wondered where you've been hiding." He pulled out a chair and she sat next to Lissy, her expression open and friendly. "Hi. I'm Nicole." She held out her hand and Lissy took it, suddenly shy again. Then to Russ, she answered, "I haven't been hiding at all. The two of you have. I caught a glimpse of you at the show but didn't get a chance to come over."

"Nic Kidman, Lisa Cook." Russ made the formal introduction. Lissy blushed. "Hi." That sounded inane, so she added, "It's very nice to meet you." 

Nicole was warm and very personable. Lissy liked her instantly. "You look beautiful, Leece." Only her close friends called her that; but even though they'd just met she felt comfortable around her. "I love that color on you. It's so pretty with your dark hair."

"Thanks." In about five minutes the two of them were chatting as if they'd known each other forever. Russ watched with even more amusement. Somehow he'd known they'd get on. For one thing, Liss, for all her outward shyness and reserve, was very outgoing when she clicked with someone. Nicole was as down to earth and approachable as Lissy was. He actually left them alone to go get both girls some champagne and neither of them noticed, they were so busy talking to one another. 

Finally, Nicole regretfully left them. Lissy sighed, still amazed. "She's wonderful." 

"I was hoping you'd meet. I thought you'd really like each other."

"She wants to go out and do something, lunch, shopping, when we go back to Sydney. Can you imagine? I have a girlfriend in Australia now." A big name, movie-star girlfriend, but, as with Russ, somehow it was easy to forget that part. "She gave me her phone number and said to call her. And she wanted mine! I can't even believe this entire evening." She sighed again but it turned into a yawn, which she tried to stifle.

Russ smiled at her. "Want to go home, now, Princess? Had enough?"

"I'd love to stay all night and into the morning, but...I'm beginning to fade a little." 

"I hadn't noticed." And he hadn't. She was so excited still and enthusiastic over everything. Kissing her softly, he murmured, "Why don't we go home and...celebrate all on our own?"

"When I wake up will it all have been a dream?"

"When you wake up," he assured her, "no. I'll still be right there holding you and it won't be a dream at all."

"Good."

 

On the way home, she snuggled against his shoulder, tired, but still giddy with her big night out. She was still eagerly recounting things that had happened to her and people she'd met or seen as they entered the hotel suite, after dismissing the driver and the guards for the night. One big surprise came when she asked when they would return the jewelry.

"I bought it for you," Russell told her. 

"You did what??" She looked incredulously at him. 

"As a reminder of this special evening." He kissed her and had to smile at her look of absolute astonishment. 

"Where am I going to wear it again?"

"I'll take you someplace nice, and you'll wear it again. Promise." 

"Thank you, sweetheart...I'm in shock." She'd kicked off her shoes and was in the process of taking down her hair. As she pulled the last of the pins out, releasing it over her bared shoulders, he came to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "Did you have a good time, Liss?"

"It was incredible." She closed her eyes as he slowly undid her dress and let the extravagant gown pool to the floor. "Hang that up, please." He had to grin at her concern and let go of her long enough to carefully drape it over a chair. "Better?"

She nodded, holding her arms out to him like a sleepy child and letting him carry her off to bed. He finished undressing her, made haste with his own finery, and joined her in bed. "So besides Tom Hanks bumping into you, and Julia Roberts telling you hello, and Meryl Streep saying how beautiful you looked, and meeting Nic and becoming good mates with her, what else was there?"

"Well, lots. Thank you for introducing me to Sean Connery, Russ. That was a thrill. For an older man, he's sooooo sexy..." she laughed at his dark look. "Seriously, that was great. Everyone was so nice. I can hardly believe it. I feel like it's all some sort of wonderful dream."

He snuggled her to him. "First off, it's not a dream. But it's not the norm, either. Just some fancy once in awhile sort of thing." Eventually the euphoria would wear off and he wanted to make sure she was okay with that. "Secondly, for the most part, a good deal of celebrities ARE nice...the trick is telling the good, nice ones from the total assholes." She giggled and he kissed her again. "What else? What else was the most remarkable thing of all tonight?"

Fixing him with those big dark eyes of hers, she said softly, "You know Russell Crowe? That talented, gorgeously sexy mega movie star?"

He grinned. "Yeah...I think I've heard of him. Personally, I don't think he's all that great. But I know you kind of like him." 

"Well..." She slipped her arms around him and held him close. "Russell Crowe's in love with me. Me! Can you believe that? And I love him, too." 

His expression grew gentle. "Yeah. I can believe that, Lissy." She melted into him and he closed his eyes, his face buried in her silky hair. "I don't have any trouble believing that at all."

"I love you, Russ." She whispered it and he just gazed into her face for a long, long moment. "I love you, Lissy." She made a sweet sound of longing as he slowly slid his hands down her body. He loved that, hearing the sounds she'd make as he loved her. It always inflamed him even more. He kissed her, this time carnal and deep, and he knew this was what she wanted, too. He also knew how she wanted it this time, slow and tender, the perfect way to end such a fantastical, magical evening for her.

Dipping his head down to her breasts, he suckled her nipples until she moaned. He kissed the smooth slope of her belly, moved downward. He knew what he'd find when he got there; she was wet and open, slick and soft and warm. He gently thrust and stroked with his fingers until she was even more drenched; hot and pleading him. Then he gave her exactly what she wanted, pushing deep into her and making her cry out his name. He filled her so full he didn't know where it stopped; there seemed not to be a beginning or an end to either of them, they were so completely, wonderfully joined. He took both of her hands in his and threaded their fingers together, on either side of her head against the pillow. And just looked into those stunning dark eyes as he loved her, thoroughly and with everything he had within him to give to her. One of his favorite things to do was simply watch her as she neared orgasm. Her pupils would dilate and grow very dark, her breathing would change and he could see everything nakedly visible on her lovely face. It gave him even greater pleasure than he was feeling within his own body to know he was doing that to her. And then it would intensify his own climax. Every time they made love it was like this, wild and savagely beautiful. 

When it was over he lay there on top of her for a moment and she let him, until she wriggled just a little and he moved over. "Sorry." 

"Don't be." She then smiled. "Thank you for a perfectly wonderful night tonight."

"You're very welcome." 

Quietly she mused, "I know you've been to a lot of these things. And, well, I'm sure they aren't as spectacular for you as tonight was for me. But what was the most remarkable thing for YOU tonight?"

Without hesitation, he said, "Watching you." 

"Watching me do what? Gawk? Act like a blubbering idiot? Babble on to famous movie stars and make them wonder where you found me in the first place?"

He planted a soft kiss on her joking, sweet mouth and half shrugged. "Watching you. That's all. Seeing the wonder on your face, the excitement...That's what I liked best. That...and knowing I was the one taking the princess everyone envied home at the end of the evening."

She smiled even more but her eyes were suspiciously misty. "You're teasing me." 

His expression was quite serious as he told her, "No, I'm not." 

Coming into his arms then, she just held him. He was content to hold her that way too, until they both fell asleep that way, entwined around each other. 

 

 

"I told you not to read the bullshit, Lissy." He took it out of her hand and slammed it into the trash. They were at her own tiny house; they had just gotten back from a very nice little get together at her mother's, back visiting with her family now. "Where in the hell did you get that, anyhow?"

"My sister showed me. Don't be angry at her, sweetheart," she caught his thunderous look, "she only bought it because she knew it wasn't true but wanted me to see the kind of filth they've been printing about me. I told her I didn't want to see or hear about it anymore, and everyone is fine with that." She got a little more forceful as she added, "Please don't baby me, Russ. I know you mean well, I know you worry about me, but I can handle it. I can take care of myself just fine. I managed before I met you." She didn't mean it the way it sounded but instantly regretted saying it at all when she saw the look he gave her.

"Just what is that supposed to fucking mean?" His voice was quiet, but dangerously so. She knew, really, that he wasn't upset at her, wasn't particularly aiming for a fight, but that he was tired and fed up with all of the lies and still so concerned with protecting her. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Baby...I didn't mean it to sound that way, honestly. I need you, I truly do. But...I know what's real, and what's true, and it's like I told you, it can't hurt us if we both know that." Her frustration was beginning to build and she needed him to understand just how she felt. "It's me we're talking about, Russ. ME! I'm not some sort of shrinking violet that's going to run away. Damn it, I don't give a shit about any of that..." she gestured furiously to the garbage can and the hateful tabloid.

She knew now that she was starting to pick a fight with him, but she didn't care. If that's what he wanted...if that was the only way she could make him see...she grabbed something out of her entertainment center and hurled it at him. By instinct he caught it and looked, stunned, at her copy of "LA Confidential". "I don't give a shit about how many movies you've made and how big a 'star' you are. Damn it, that's not why I'm with you and you should know that by now. I love YOU." Grabbed another movie off the shelf and threw it; he barely missed getting smacked in the face with "Gladiator". "I don't care if you're some big time Mr. Hotshot Oscar Winner..." one of his CDs landed at his feet as he just stood there staring at her, "Mr. Rock-n-Roll Star..." "Mystery, Alaska" came bouncing off his shoulder; he'd never seen her this upset before. Oh, except maybe for that time she found he'd put security detail on her pretty ass without telling her. "I don't care about this..." he happened to catch "A Beautiful Mind" as it was pitched at him-damn, she was a decent shot, "I don't care about that..." Christ, he even found her sexy when she was mad; what kind of sick, twisted bastard did that make him? "You stupid stubborn idiot, all I care about is you, not some kind of transparent made-up bullshit image that we both know isn't real anyway! I love YOU, you moron, not this," she pointed to his image on the "Texas" DVD. "I don't care about this." It landed in the growing pile at his feet. She grabbed one more movie off the shelf and glanced at the cover before saying honestly, "And I certainly didn't care for this one, either." "Virtuosity" glanced off his chest and landed on his shoe. She stood there gazing at him and then the realization of what she'd just done struck her and she gaped at him instead, suddenly embarrassed for her outburst and slightly appalled. Covering her face with both hands, she made a regretful sound. Then she peeked at him, waiting for his reaction.

He attempted to look gravely serious as he asked politely, "Are you quite through, love?"

She nodded. "God, I'm sorry," she responded meekly. 

His mouth twitched and he tried valiantly to suppress his smile as he gestured to his entire career strewn all over her living room carpet. "You know, I worked really hard on all of that," he told her.

She nodded again and swiped at her angry tears with a fist. 

He dropped the couple of movies he'd managed to catch and simply held his arms out to her. She came to him and he hugged her to him; she clung to him and sighed tiredly once more. They just stayed that way silently until he said in her ear, "Didn't you at least find SID 6.7 mildly amusing?" and she gave a kind of hiccupy laugh.

"I love you, angel," he told her. "I do. And I understand how you feel." 

"I love you, too." Letting out a small sniffle, she added, "I don't NOT care about your career. I'm very proud of you. But that's not the you I'm in love with."

"I know." He added, "Thank you for that." 

Her response was to reach for him and kiss him, soft and gentle. Then he took her hand in his, leading her over to her big reclining chair in the corner, and settled into it with her on his lap. She rested her head on his shoulder and he stroked one big, gentle hand up and down her back. Finally she raised her face to his and looked him in the eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything you want, Liss. You know that."

"Did you...was there ever a relationship with Nicole?"

There was no accusation in her tone, no suspicion in her expression. Just a basic, general curiosity. "No," he told her truthfully. "At one point, maybe I wished there would be...but we decided that staying good mates suited both of us more."

"Okay." She lay back against him and he said, "That's it?"

"What do you want, Russ? I don't care about all the women you've had any more than you'd care about any of the men I've ever been with. What matters is us, here and now. Unless you want me to keep throwing your movies at you...there's still some left on the shelf..." He had to grin and brushed his lips against hers.

"For one thing, sweetheart, there haven't been as many women as you seem to imply. That's all another bunch of shit that's been going around forever. For another thing, I don't want to think about any other men you've been with. For a third thing...it doesn't matter anyway, because I've got you now and that's all that counts." He playfully pinched her bottom and made her squirm. "And I'm keeping you...even if you DO have a nasty temper and a mean pitching arm and you so blatantly insulted everything I've ever done and you don't appreciate me or worship the ground that I walk on..." he gave her the most pathetically fake wounded look she'd ever seen and she laughed, knowing everything was all right between them once more.

"You know, they really should take all your damn awards back. You're the worst actor I've ever seen..." she squealed as he growled and lunged for her, leaping off his lap just in the nick of time. But she let him catch her and didn't want him to ever let her go.

He wasn't planning to ever let her go. 

 

They spent some time there; Russell found he enjoyed her family; they were all so close and accepted him so easily. He loved being with the kids; it made him see what having a family would be like for them someday. He and Lissy took them out together, a couple of times people that didn't recognize him mistook them for a real family, a couple with their children, and that made him feel good.

The news of their engagement came out quite by accident. But they were both so sick and tired of trying to keep it a secret that it was almost a relief. While they were out one day, they were covertly photographed. Neither of them had thought they were still being followed, not here, and Lissy had grown rather lax about hiding the ring. She wore it all the time and the photo happened to be of her giving him a brief kiss outside a coffee shop they'd just eaten at. The photo was one from afar of the kiss and then a fuzzy close-up of her hand against his face with the usual mess of half truths, half lies:

 

 

They had simply had a meal, without practically ripping each other's clothes off in the place, as the article seemed to imply; indeed, no one had appeared to recognize Russell, but obviously, the entire place had; and her ring was indeed beautiful and showy, but nowhere near that large, as Lissy detested bold, big jewelry. "I'm sorry," she told him, when they saw the article. He'd sent Lissy's brother out to get a copy, as soon as they'd heard. It went against their 'not reading shit' pledge, but every so often, when it was something major, you just had to see it for yourself to believe the audacity of it all. And to plan what the next move would be. They were planning on leaving for Australia anyway, and now it seemed like a good idea. When they were harassing Lissy's family now, Russ had to draw the line.

"Why should you be sorry? For wearing the ring? I hated the fact we decided you'd hide it anyhow. I know we did it to try and hold the sharks at bay, but I always felt like we were treating it as something to be ashamed of."

"I know." She'd been so good about it, and he kissed her lightly. "Want me to give the word then? Make it official and public knowledge?"

"I don't know what else we CAN do, Russell. If we deny it they'll only keep at us. If we at least say yes, we're engaged, then..." 

"Then they'll still keep at us, but at least we'll be a united front and can just deal with it head on." He checked the time; it was a decent hour overseas. "I'll call and tell them to go ahead and make the statement."

 

 

They were besieged with phone calls. People that knew Lissy, people that knew Russ, people that knew both of them. Everyone was ecstatic; no one seemed to fault them keeping it a secret. They got the most grief from Russell's band mates and Nicole for not having come clean about it before this.

The press crush got worse. Russell was absolutely upset that they were now bothering her family, so they decided it was time to head back to Australia and try to take some of the heat off of them. Lissy promised that they'd be involved in her plans for the wedding. He could tell that the latest frenzy was upsetting her more than she'd let on, even to him, because of what it did to her loved ones. So they left them reluctantly and made their way to Los Angeles; spent the usual couple of days there trying to stay out of the spotlight before getting on a plane to Sydney.

When they reached Sydney he wanted to go home to the farm right away, but surprisingly, Lissy refused. "I don't want to hide, Russell. I'm sick of it. I just want to be able to go out and live my life and not give a damn about all of that."

"You can go about your life at home, where we'll be safe, with Mum and Dad..." She shook her head vehemently. "That's not living, that's hiding out. I refuse to do it." She was completely upset; he just wanted to tuck her away someplace safe, and on the one hand, he couldn't understand why she didn't want that, too. On the other, he knew exactly how she felt. But he was worrying she was beginning to buckle under the pressure and he knew this wasn't the end of it. How she managed to deal with it now would be an indicator of how she would cope for the rest of their lives.

"Nicole asked me to spend a day out with her and I want to go, Russ. I just want to spend time with friends and do girl things and enjoy myself. And if the press wants to follow us around, well, let them. I don't care anymore; they're going to write exactly what they want to anyhow."

Bravo, he wanted to say. That's my girl. But he didn't want to make a big deal out of it either, because it was already grossly blown out of proportion. He kissed the tip of her nose and said, "That's fine. Why don't the two of you go out and have fun?"

"Do you want to come?" 

"Hell, no. If you're going to do 'girly things' I don't want to be there. I'll call Billy and see if he wants to work on songs or something." She smiled and he said, "Just one thing. All I ask. Take David with you, so I don't worry so much."

"Okay."

"And call me if you need anything. Promise?"

"Yes, Mother Hen." She laughed softly at his warning look. "Yes, sweetheart. Promise. Don't worry. I'll be fine." The tension was gone from her face and for that he was forever grateful. Nothing like a little shopping and 'girly stuff' to cheer a woman up, that was for sure.

 

When she came home later that day, she was exuberant and cheerful and full of talk about her day with Nicole and what they did and how much fun she'd had. Russ silently thanked heaven she had Nic to do things with. She seemed like herself again and didn't seem so much under stress.

They talked about the wedding later that night. Lissy told him she didn't care as long as it happened; as long as they were able to say their vows in peace and the press didn't bother them.

He was bandying about ideas when he said, "Do you want to elope? Just go back to the States; go to Las Vegas and do it quick-like?"

The idea was tempting but she told him, "I can't do that to my family, Russell. They'd want to be there, and I'm sure yours do, too."

"We could fly the whole lot of them there and just do it." 

"I've always thought that was so unromantic."

Jokingly, he said, "I could put on the Maximus gear and we'd do it at Caesar's Palace. You don't think that's romantic?"

She had to laugh, but said a firm "No." 

"Maybe I should call Italy in the morning and you can start planning your gown." 

"Russ...baby, please don't take this wrong, but I don't want anything fancy. I can find something suitable here, just off the rack. Or my mother's an expert seamstress and can make something nice....I don't want bells and whistles and flying doves and ice sculptures and rose petals all over the ground. I just want to marry you and have it be pretty, but not extravagant. The important thing to me...it's not the wedding, it's our marriage. Do you understand? It's not the ceremony but what we do with our life afterwards that matters the most to me. I could marry you right here, right now..." gesturing to him in his flannie and jeans; she in sweats with her hair in a ponytail, both of them barefoot and relaxed, "...and it wouldn't matter that we looked like this, as long as we're happy. And we mean our vows and we love each other."

"I thought every girl dreamed of some fairytale wedding."

She smiled. "I DO want something beautiful, but I don't want to stress out about it. I just want something small and quiet and perfect." 

He wanted to give her the world, but understood and respected her feelings. But he didn't want to rush head on into it either; he wanted things to be wonderful for her. "Small and quiet, I can do. And I definitely promise you perfect."

 

The next day they tried going out together, just for fun. The times Lissy'd been in Sydney before, other than yesterday with Nicole, she hadn't seen much of the city, and he wanted to show her that.

They attracted the usual curious passersby and fans, but they had the guards out to keep them back and she tried to ignore most of it. It was hard, though, when you were well aware you were being followed all over the place and tourists with cameras were taking photos of you just walking down the street. Why that thrilled them she'd never know; other than, if it had been her before she'd met and fallen in love with Russell, she supposed just the mere sight of him walking down the street would have made her giddy with excitement, too. So she couldn't really fault them for that.

And she managed to have a nice time with Russell, in spite of it all. When she was with him, she was able to simply concentrate on him and not anyone else. Early on, she had been self-conscious when she knew they were being followed or photographed; but now, she was just herself, and to hell with what they thought or cared to say about her.

The photos of course made the Sydney paper the very next day, and from there fanned out around the globe. Along with photos of Lissy's girls day out with Nicole; they had both thought they weren't being followed, but apparently some tourist had sold their snaps to the media and those were out there as well.

As much as she loved him and was tired of hiding and pretending and such, she felt like she was under a microscope. So a few days later, when he suggested they go home to his family, she had to agree.

 

Every day, there was more and more gossip and lies and rumors floating about. She was sheltered from it more at the farm; and she remembered her and Russell's pledge not to dwell upon it all, but the stories and 'facts' about the wedding plans, as well as persistent gossip about Nicole and other assorted women in Russell's past, some he knew and some he hadn't even met, kept building and it was utterly ridiculous. Mostly they ignored it, everyone they loved knew most of it was complete rubbish, but every so often this incredible one would be put out there and they'd have to field phone calls from concerned friends or family wanting to know what was really going on.

The big, ultimately final straw was when Lissy's friend Sue in the US called her, long-distance to Australia, about something she'd read in a tabloid over there. She didn't even want to tell Russell about it but he was sitting right there when she took the call; she couldn't lie to him, and the very next call just minutes later was from his publicist wanting to know how he wanted it handled. They'd definitely crossed a line with this one and it was a tossup who was more pissed off between the two.

 

 

Of course, the people that mattered knew Russell was marrying her for love and knew that part of the story was pure trash; but wanted to know if Lissy was really pregnant. There was a blurry paparazzi shot of her leaving a doctor's office in Australia; she was wearing jeans and a baggy shirt, because she'd actually lost a little weight since arriving back in the country with Russ, but the outfit unfortunately made her look like she was trying to conceal something. It was a routine doctor's visit, nothing more, nothing less; she was due for a checkup and had found a doctor to take her on over here.  At Russell's insistence his publicist faxed them the story so they could see the ridiculous nonsense for themselves.

"They're fucking going to pay for this one." 

"Are you going to sue them?" That would cause even more publicity, but she couldn't turn the other way on this one. 

"Of course I'm fucking going to sue them. If you and Nicki want to, too, I'll back you all the way. They've slandered all of us. Anything else I'd be able to ignore, but this is all a bunch of shit and they're going to be sorry they so much as wrote your name in their filthy paper. "He picked up the phone and dialed furiously; she just sat there while he set things in motion. One thing about Russ that she admired was, he backed up his beliefs and was ferociously protective of people he cared about.

It was a measure of his tenacity that almost as soon as the suit was filed, the magazine backed off; settled out of court and issued an apology to Russ, Lissy, and Nicole, not to mention their families and anyone that was hurt by the untrue story. Days after the hurtful piece had been published, the very next issue had their retraction in a big piece of one page; Russ hadn't wanted them to retract in a tiny paragraph no one would see. A small victory; but one nonetheless.

Lissy began to feel even more stifled. She knew she loved Russell, knew without a doubt that she still wanted to marry him and they would manage to make things work, but she wanted some time away to think and sort things through and have some breathing space. So she made the most difficult decision she'd ever had to up to this point. She wanted to go back to the US and have some room away from him to clear her head and regain her footing once more. After agonizing over this for several days she decided that was what she needed to do. She dreaded explaining this to Russell but thought that maybe it would be good for both of them.

She waited until they were alone in their bedroom that night to tell him. As calmly and rationally as she could she laid all of her feelings out for him; and what she thought was the solution. What scared her was his expression was so unreadable. She could always tell what he was thinking or what his reaction would be to nearly anything; but as she finished laying out her plan the look on his face was so carefully blank it terrified her.

Finally he said, very quietly, "You said you'd never run away." 

"Russell..." tears began in her eyes. "I'm not calling things off. I don't want to leave you and I definitely still want to marry you. But I feel so lost and shut in and I need to do this. It's not you. It's not your family. I love them too and I want to be here, with all of you. But I need to have some time and some space and I can't see any other way to get that. It's not that you're suffocating me or holding me back. I know that's what it must look and sound like to you but I don't feel that way at all. It's just that we've both been through a lot and we both need time to regroup before the wedding."

"You could go back to Sydney then, stay there while I'm here..." 

Lissy shook her head. "I think it'd be best if I went back to the States for a bit, put some distance between us and tried to reassure my family I'm not cracking up and we're not losing it."

Russ looked at her while she said this, knew what she was saying was true. She really wasn't getting cold feet and wanting to break their engagement; but this last little bit with the tabloids had hit her hard. He knew how strong she was and she would cope, would always be able to, she'd proven that time and again, but she was feeling adrift and yet, at the same time, hemmed in, despite his love and his care for her, and she really wasn't running. It was more like a sabbatical, from him and from all the hype and pressure. Still, it hurt, just a bit, to know she felt that way at all. He thought of that Sting song, "If You Love Somebody Set Them Free" and at this moment in time, thought that was the biggest fucking bunch of bullshit he'd ever heard in his life.

But the least he could do, precisely because he loved her, was give her this, even though there was the distinct possibility she could change her mind about all of it and want to break things off and stay in the US and end it all with him.

So he asked, "How long?"

She shrugged.  "I'm not sure just yet." 

"When?" He felt if he spoke in longer sentences, he just might fall apart, and then she'd fall apart, and he didn't want that to happen. 

Looking down at her feet, she said, "I thought I could go back to Sydney tomorrow and then maybe fly out early the day after that."

"So soon?"

Her smile was somewhat sad as she confessed, "If I wait any longer, I'd want to stay." 

His voice was very gravelly as he said, "So, stay."

"I can't, sweetheart. Please understand." She had to stifle a sob as she said, "You don't have to take me. David can get me to Sydney, or I'll ask your brother or something..."

"No. I'm taking you then. If I'm letting you go...and believe me, Lissy, it's the damned hardest thing I've ever done...I'll be the one to do it and do it proper." He warned, "Of course, you know, once they find out you've gone back to the US, there'll be all sorts of fucking shit that we've broken up."

She tilted her head and looked at him with glistening eyes. "But we'll know the truth." 

He opened his arms up and took her in; wrapped her tight in a huge bear hug. "We'll know the truth." 

That night, when they went to bed, he held onto her so snug it was a miracle she was still able to breathe. He had nightmares that he was falling into a deep abyss from which he couldn't see the bottom. She woke him and reassured him that she was still there. But that couldn't erase the fact she was leaving, if only for a short time, and going off into the unknown. She held onto him after that; and it was only when he was able to feel her breathing and her heart beating against him that he let himself fall back asleep. Both of them had fitful dreams plagued with doubt and fear and they were both full of unrest the remainder of the night.

 

They woke early; quickly explained to his family what would be happening and why. Russell's parents were sorry to have her go; but they reassured her and offered all their love and support. She only took one suitcase with some clothes in it; she left most of her clothing and possessions there, and Russ took that as a good sign.

The trip to Sydney was made mostly in silence, both of them lost in their own worries and thoughts. They were both aware time was relentlessly moving forward. Lissy's plane for America was leaving quite early the next morning; she had already forewarned her family she was coming, and, as per their usual way, she would stay briefly in California before moving on, as the flight would be long and she was already emotionally drained, not to mention the toll it would be on her physically.

Over dinner she told him, "One month." 

"What?"

"I'll be gone for a month. At the end of it I'll call you. That's only just over four weeks, Russell." She caught his look of apprehension mixed with slight anger and tried to comfort him. "And tell you what, a month from today, not tomorrow, even. Honey, please try not to call me or anything...it'll make it harder. I promise I'll call you, I swear it. Please."

He didn't say anything. Then he said, "You're taking David with you, at least."

"No. No guards. Promise me. I don't want to find out you secretly sent him again." She was solemn and adamant but he didn't respond. "Russ, please don't make this harder for me. Please don't."

"I don't want you to go." He sounded like a spoiled, petulant child, but he didn't care. 

"I have to. Try to understand. I'll be back before you know it. I'll be fine and you'll be fine and I'll come home to you and we'll get married. And then, I'll never leave you, ever. But I have to do this now or I'll go crazy. Please, Russ. Please." She showed him her hand with her sparkling ring. "I'm not taking this off. I'm still yours, always." He wouldn't look at her now and it broke her heart how stubborn he was being. "I love you."

When he didn't answer that, she knew he was only being this way because it was as hard for him as it was for her. She got up and told him softly, "I'm going to bed."

He was still sitting there as she went into the bedroom and began undressing. Then there was a bang as the door suddenly flew open. He stood there, his broad shoulders filling the doorway, looking tired and defeated and defiant and possessive all at once. Slamming the door behind him, he stalked over to her and she just stayed there, frozen to the spot, down to only her bra and panties, staring at him.

"Damn you, Liss," he ground out. Then he was on her, his mouth claiming hers, crushing her to him and she let out a startled squeak as he pushed her down on the bed. He wrenched away but she still couldn't move; she only lay there watching him, stunned, as he began yanking off his clothes. Despite the angry fire in his eyes she knew he wouldn't hurt her and she couldn't refuse him, not this time before she would leave him.

When he was naked she also couldn't keep her gaze from traveling the length of his body. He was gloriously aroused and she needed this, needed so badly. They both did. He came to her, ripping off her underwear, his hands rough until they touched her bare skin, and then he slowed, moving over her with frantic gentleness. "Oh, god, I'm sorry," he groaned, burying his head against the curve of her shoulder, stopping his desperate caresses. Lifting his face to hers, he gazed into her eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to scare you."

"No." She stroked his hair back from his forehead, smiled. "It's okay." 

"Don't forget me, Lissy. Don't forget this." She reached between them, taking his swollen cock in her hand, drawing him to her. "I won't." Trying to make him understand, she said again, "I love you."

This time he whispered it as he thrust inside her, hard and deep. "I love you." 

When it ended he remained inside of her and she let him, holding him with equal possessiveness. All he said was, "Come back to me, Liss."

She nodded, her eyes filled with tears. "I will." 

They couldn't say anything more that hadn't already been said between them. So they just stayed like that, in each other's arms, awake through the entire night.

 

They made love once more, this time very tenderly, in the early morning hours just before dawn. Then she said she had to get ready; he let her and she was bathed and nearly dressed before he finally got out of bed and got ready to face the day himself.

Saying goodbye about tore him up inside. They had already decided that as quiet as they could make Lissy's leaving would be the best thing, so David was going to drive her to the airport. He hugged and kissed her and when she looked at him, she reminded him, "One month."

"I promise I won't bug you, love. But you can call anytime, you know that. I'll be waiting for you when you get back." He tried to make it seem like just a little holiday when he added, "Tell everyone hello for me."

She nodded and then was gone. He stood at the window watching until the car disappeared completely out of sight and then sighed. 

He had to trust her. He had to believe she'd want to come back and that she would. But it was going to be the longest fucking month he'd ever spent in his life.

 

She felt like a part of her was missing. The further away she went she felt like she was leaving a part of her soul behind. But this next month she hoped would be cleansing for her; in fact, her mother was working on her wedding dress and she hoped to have it done in the time she was home, so the wedding could take place soon after she got back.

She had to admire Russ so much for letting go of her. She knew his nature so well that she knew it was damn hard for him to do that, but that it was a testament to their love that he trusted her and was willing to wait until she came home to him.

It was good to see her family again. The hardest part was when the small children asked where "Unca Wussell" was and she had to tell them she'd left him behind. But she assured them they'd be seeing him soon and everything was all right. She moved back into her small house that she'd hung onto; she and Russ had discussed building a nice new one nearby but kept her house so they would have a place to stay until that became a reality.

Somehow the press got wind; she was shocked when she'd only been home a week and saw a photo of her and Russ from the Academy Awards evening on the cover of "People" with the headline "Russell's Secret Heartbreak". She tried to forget it for two days and then asked her sister to go get her a copy. The article was a little classier than the tabloids, but implied a lot of things that simply weren't true; that she had left Russell because she couldn't handle his celebrity or the demands of his career, that the engagement was over and the wedding was off, and that Russell had taken up once more with Nicole. She didn't recognize when the photo of him and Nicole had been taken, but had the suspicion it was an old one they were dredging up for the sake of starting the rumor mill once more.

In fact, apparently the same article made it all over, because Nicole actually called her and wanted to know how she was doing. She assured her she was hanging in there, asked about Russ, and Nic said she hadn't seen or talked to him since the time they had threatened to sue that tabloid; she was calling from London, where she was filming a new movie, and Russ had no idea she was calling.

"He'd kill me if he knew, if he even thought I was interfering," she told her, and Lissy had to agree.

She reassured Nic