Chapter 1

Janie sat on the edge of the hospital bed - the past 24 hours were still a complete blur for her. It was quite painful for her to sit up; the doctor had said the tenderness would go away in a few days as he wrote a prescription for Tylenol with Codeine. Janie was all alone in the room. She was waiting for a nurse to return with the hospital discharge forms to sign. Her emotions became too much for her to contain and she began to weep. Her body chemistry was in a total tailspin after the procedure.

"There, there...everything will be alright," a male Aussie voice said. A hand was extended out to her holding a box of Kleenex. Janie's eyes were swollen from her crying and she couldn't quite make out the shape of the person talking to her. Her thoughts were reeling so wildly she didn't realize that it was Mark's familiar voice. Mark sat down on the bed and held her as sobs wreaked her fragile 5' 2" frame. Mark wiped away a tear from his own eye. He couldn't bear to see her in this condition. He silently wished that he could take away all the pain she was feeling and make everything right with the world for her. Janie was that kind of girl - sweet with an addictively fun personality. It made nearly every man that came her way want to take care of her. Mark brushed her matted black hair out of her eyes and tilted her chin up so that he could look her in the eye. "Look! You have me crying too!" he smiled and tried to coax the same from her. She leaned over and but both arms around his neck - as if holding on for dear life-and laid her head on his shoulder. Mark put his arms around her and kissed her on the head.

Moments later, a nurse walked in with the discharge papers and a wheelchair. 

Mark realized that Janie had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He gently laid her down on the bed and asked the nurse to give him the papers to sign. "Are you the responsible party?"

"Yes."

"Will you also be paying the bill for her stay?"

"Yes," he said without a single hesitation. Mark signed and filled out all the paperwork. The nurse gave him Janie's prescriptions to be filled and a list of instructions that she needed to follow. He gently woke Janie so that she could get into the wheelchair.

Mark thought better of driving her to her apartment in Sydney. He drove her instead to his own residence. His temples were pounding. The argument he had with Russell... The argument she had with Russell. The cruel words that were spoken in haste... Janie had fallen asleep in the back of his SUV. He lifted her as carefully as he could and took her inside. He decided his bedroom would be best - upstairs where it was quiet. He removed her shoes and her pants and pulled the doona up to her neck.

In the kitchen, he made several phone calls. No - nobody had seen Russell, still. Not on the farm, not anywhere. He made arrangements for one of his staff to go pick up her prescriptions and the other "female" things she was going to need. He began reading the literature the nurse had given him. It basically described the after effects of a D&C - procedural abortion. His earlier conversation with the doctor had been brief and to the point. "This just simply wasn't meant to be. Her body rejected the fetus. Janie's body had already aborted it naturally, the D&C was done to remove any other tissue left behind.

She knew she was pregnant, mate. She had an appointment with me for yesterday afternoon - she was complaining of pain and bleeding."

Mark took a couple of pain killers for his headache and went to lay down on the couch. He kept recounting the last 24 hours in his head. Nobody had known she was pregnant. Russell wouldn't have been the wiser if he had stayed in the States another couple of weeks as he had planned. Maybe that was what Janie was counting on. Maybe she knew something was wrong with the baby. Maybe that's why she never told. So many unanswered questions...

Chapter 2

Unfortunately, Russell decided to come home from the States early get some much needed rest on his farm. At the last minute from the airport, he decided to visit Janie at her apartment and to have a long serious heart to heart discussion with her. When there was no answer at the door, he let himself in with his key and decided to wait for her. The answering machine was beeping and even though it was wrong, he pressed the button. The voice on the machine announced, "You have one new and one saved message." The machine went on to play both the messages. The new message. It was a woman's voice declaring that an appointment slot was open that afternoon if she could make it. Russell didn't think much of the message - he assumed it had to do with the headaches that she gets from time to time. As the old message was playing, he heard keys jingling on the other side of the apartment door. He heart leap at the thought of seeing

Janie - thinking of the wonderful things she could do with her mouth. Russell made for the door to let her in, but was stopped dead in his tracks by what he heard on the machine. "...the results of your pregnancy tests were positive. Please make an app..." he didn't catch the rest.

Janie opened the door just as the message played through. Her heart sank when she saw him and the look on his face. The answering machine message was ringing in her ears like an alarm clock. She had never seen Russell look so angry. Had she not felt so sick to her stomach, she would have been prepared for the battle that was to rage. Russell never noticed how visibly pale she was. She set her grocery bag down and attempted to reason with him. "What the FUCK is this, Janie? You told me that you were on birth control. What do you have to say for yourself? Thought you could trap me, huh? Thought I would just fall over with joy and marry you?" he laughed bitterly. "Well, honey, this isn't the way I'm goin' down. It's not even mine, is it? IS IT?" Janie couldn't get a word in edge wise. The room was spinning and she was trying hard not to puke her guts up.

Russell heard the words coming out of his mouth, but he couldn't stop them. This was a complete shock. Janie was fun but he didn't consider her to be someone to have children with, much less - marry. Those ideas had never seeped into his brain. He was incredibly livid at this moment. He felt betrayed and trapped. He stormed towards the door and shoved Janie out of this path. She was in complete shock at his reaction. She wasn't crying, just speechless. He turned around to berate her more, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. It was Mark, coming to trade vehicles and drop off Russell's duffel bag. Russell yanked open the door, ready to tear the head off whoever was on the other side. Mark took two steps backwards when he saw the rage on Russell's face.

"Hey mate, what's-"

"Did you know about this? Did you? Did you know about this and hide it behind my back? So help me God, mate - you better tell me the truth!!" Russ was shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Jesus Fucking Christ, mate - what are you talking about....settle the fuck down!"

"What am I talking about?! That whore in there is preggers, mate. And I'm having NONE of it." With that, he stormed off, got into his SUV and squealed tires all the way down the street. Mark stood at the entrance to the apartment for what seemed an eternity. His jaw gaping open at what he had just witnessed. He walked into the apartment to see about Janie and found her lying on the floor near the couch. His first thought was that Russell had hit her and knocked her out. He knelt beside her and put his hand on her head. She moaned weakly, mumbling about the baby. "What happened, Janie?"

"Take me to the hospital, Mark. I think I just miscarried." Mark's eyes became wide as saucers. He scooped Janie up and carted her down the stairs to his SUV.

The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever. Mark tried his best to get an explanation out of Janie, but she was obviously in pain, both physically and emotionally. He hated to push her, but he needed to know what the situation was, for damage control, if nothing else. "Janie, you have to tell me what is going on - can you do that?" Between gasps of pain and moaning, Janie managed to get bits and pieces of information to him.

"Mark, I confirmed the pregnancy a week ago. Something was terribly wrong. The pain. The bleeding. I don't know how I got pregnant - I've taken my birth control pills religiously."

"Janie. Did Russell...did he...he didn't hit you-"

"No."

"Janie - have you been with any-" Mark was struggling to ask such a personal question.

"NO!" she cut him off abruptly.

"I'm sorry - I needed to know for sure..." The rest of the trip to the hospital was spent in silence. After she was admitted to the hospital and taken to surgery after a quick examination, the staff doctor assured Mark that she would be ok. He decided to leave the hospital and get a good stiff drink. He tried without success to reach Russell via his cell phone. No one seemed to know where he was. He wasn't sure what to make of Russell's attitude. Russell had been seeing Janie for a good six months - ever since that day where he ran into her - literally - at a fast food joint. They both shared a passion for fried chicken. She was a transplanted American who had moved to Sydney two years before. She was a successful novelist who wrote under an assumed name. She liked her privacy, which is partly the reason that she moved half way around the world as soon as she could afford it. If Janie was ever dazzled by Russell "the actor" or "rock star", she never showed it outwardly. She seemed perfectly content with Russell, the man - and preferred not to be on his arm in the presence of paparazzi. At those times, she would retreat to the background - usually hiding behind Mark. Mark never knew the reason for her shyness and he wondered if she had ever explained it to Russell.

The more Mark thought about the whole situation, the more clear it became. Russell had been faithful - as far as he knew - to Janie the entire time they dated, except for the occasional flirting. This past trip to the States was the first time Janie had not accompanied him on a trip since they'd been together. She had made the comment once that the traveling did help inspire her work.

She'd made some excuse about a deadline that she needed to meet and was afraid that she couldn't get done with all the distractions. Russell was a bit put off by this, but he seemed to get over it quickly. Mark thought that maybe Russell had some time to think about their relationship while they were apart. He was brooding most of the time while they were in the States-something he could have misread as being lonely for Janie. Maybe he was going to break it off with her when he went to her apartment. Mark sighed and muttered to himself, "Break up or not, the poor girl didn't deserve that tongue lashing." He checked his the time on his watch and placed a call to the hospital. She shift nurse assured him that Janie had come through the procedure with no problems and that she was resting in a room. The nurse deterred him from coming back to the hospital that evening. Janie needed her rest and shouldn't be disturbed. She suggested that Mark wait and return the following morning because she would be discharged then if there were no complications.

Mark went home and had a couple more drinks. He tried to contact Russell, but was still unsuccessful. He finally laid down on the couch and fell asleep while watching TV.

The sun shining through the living room window woke him the next morning. He had an awful cramp in his neck and cursed himself for not getting in bed to sleep.

Mark showered, attempted to find Russell again, and made his way to the hospital to check on Janie.

Chapter 3

Janie awoke later in the afternoon. She was groggy and keenly aware of the tenderness in her privates. After a few seconds of focusing and refocusing her eyes, she realized that she had no idea where she was. She turned her head to the side and inhaled deeply in the pillow. Mark. It smelled like Mark. Spending enough time around anyone makes you aware of their scent. The reality of her situation came barreling down on her as she tried to sit up. She was remembering the last day in bits and pieces, growing more frustrated by the minute at how the Codeine was clouding her memory. Janie stood up on her wobbly legs and headed toward the bathroom. She noticed a familiar travel bag sitting at the foot of the bed, along with a grocery bag of feminine products. She didn't even stop to think where they had come from, she leaned over to pick them up, wincing at the pain.

Mark heard the shower come on upstairs. He wondered if she was hungry. She needed to at least get some soup in her stomach, so he went about searching for a can of soup in his pantry.

Janie was convinced that this was the best shower she ever had. Her drug induced brain fog was washed down the drain with the soapsuds. Although the rawness she felt between her legs was growing more painful with the diminishing effects of the Codeine, she realized that this was the first time in three weeks that she didn't have the hurt on the inside. There was no fever. She wished she could say the same for the bleeding. Janie could see red rivulets running down her leg. "I suppose I'll be doing this for a good week." Once out of the shower, she felt like a new woman. She opened the travel bag and found her sweatpants, some underwear, and a flannel shirt. She pulled the shirt out and brought it up to her face. She inhaled deeply. Russell's scent was still evident and it made her feel sad, angry, and horny all at once. There was no other shirt in the bag, so she pulled on the flannel shirt.

Mark was busy warming up soup on the stove, when he heard quiet little footsteps coming up behind him. Without turning around, he asked "Are ya hungry?"

"Not really, but I need to eat, don't I?"

"Yes. How do you feel?" Mark turned and had to catch a gasp in his throat. She was so pale, still - yet the most beautiful thing in the world. Even with her wet black hair hanging in her face. Even with the holey sweatpants and the flannel shirt that was 10 times too big for her. He just couldn't understand how Russell could be so angry at her. There were a lot of things he didn't understand.

Janie didn't notice that Mark was looking at her. She had spied the hospital paperwork sitting on the kitchen table, along with her medication and her purse. Janie fished out her glasses from the purse and began reading the medication indications and other documents. After 10 minutes if silence, Janie asked Mark where Russell was.

"I dunno. I've tried since yesterday to locate him - no one knows where he is."

"Mark, you don't think I did all this on purpose, do you? Does it look that way to you?" Mark was shaking his head back and forth as she finished her sentence.

"No. Janie, you have to understand - I have no idea what goes on in Rusty's head, none of us do. He is a very passionate person - you know that. He wears his feelings on his sleeve at times. Unfortunately, when he is left to his own devices, he tends to over-think a situation too much. There is no telling what was on his mind when he went to your apartment, but I'm guessing the pregnancy didn't figure into it." He served the soup to Janie, then sat down at the table himself. He put his hand over hers. "I meant it when I told you at the hospital that everything would be alright. You are a strong, independent person, Janie. With or without Russ, you will be fine."

Janie smiled with tears in her eyes, "You are the big brother that I never had, you know that?"

"That's what you keep telling me." They both shared a hearty laugh. Mark's face began taking a serious tone. "Janie, I've given Russ 24 hours, now I need to go find him. What do you want to do? You are welcome to stay here or I can take you back to the apartment." She opened her mouth to say something, then shut it abruptly.

"I'll stay here, for now - if that is ok." Mark could see the wheels turning behind her eyes.

"Will you be ok by yourself?"

"Yessssss - now get out of here and let me finish my soup in peace." Janie smiled. Mark kissed her on the head and left to find Russell.

Janie finished her soup a little more quickly than she should have - she felt her stomach lurch as she stood up. The pain between her legs was approaching agony, but she didn't want to take any more pain killers until she took care of some business. She found her planner in her purse and started getting her life back in order.

Two hours and twenty phone calls later, she decided that it was time to take a half dose of her medication. She walked to the couch and pulled a blanket over herself. She closed her eyes and fell asleep rather quickly.

Chapter 4

Russell and Janie were on a beach, just the two of them. It was late afternoon and the sun had begun to set. They were laying together on a huge beach towel.

There were half drunk glasses of wine near a cooler by the towel. She was lying flat on her back and Russ was propped up on his elbow facing her. He was tracing little shapes on her bare belly with his finger. She had dozed and this woke her up. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him and smiled. "Let's go take one more dip before it gets dark," he suggested with a knowing look in his eye.

"That is a positively delicious idea. I'll race you!" Russell was first in the water, but Janie simply stopped at the shoreline. She looked around cautiously, then began shucking her two piece bikini. She twirled the bikini top around in the air and let out a yell heavy with southern twang - Yee Haw! Russell gaped at her first, in shock, then with a predatory grin. He crooked a finger at her. She shook her head "no" and gave him a timid little glance. Up to his waist in water, Russell removed his shorts and flung them onto the shore. He crooked his finger at her once more. "You've have to come get me, big man. I'm so scared of the water!" she teased.

"You asked for it, wench."

Russell marched out of the water directly up to her. He was a sight to behold. That masculine cocksure strut. That throbbing erection. She caught a gasp in her throat. He picked her up and carried her out to the water. He kissed her lips slowly and passionately, as if he was savoring a fine wine. Her arms were around his neck and she tilted her head back so that he could devour those sensitive spots on her neck and throat. The electricity modulating between her thighs caused her to tense up and moan in desperation. Russell set her down on her feet and gathered her into a fierce embrace as he showered her with kisses.

"I love ya, Janie" Russell moaned. His member was throbbing against her belly. The urgency became too much for her to bear. She drew her arms around his neck and hoisted herself up. Russell slipped his hands under her ass for support. She dropped a hand down to guide him in. He patiently paused to allow her body become accustomed to his size, as was typical in each of their lovemaking sessions. She never felt more whole in her life than when he was inside her. He pressed his lips against her and began to slowly move her up and down. She took his lead and began moving herself. Janie soon found a steady rhythm, coming to a stop only when he was fully sheathed with her, not realizing that she let out a gasp with every complete entry. Listening to her sounds while looking up at her was helping to speed Russell toward his release. He tried to steer his thoughts away before it was too late.

"Come on, baby - I can't hold out. See what you do to me?" and with that his eyes rolled back into his head and he tensed. Janie felt his release and this sent her into her own. She cried out his name over and over. She collapsed into his arms, spent. Russell drew her close and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Janie. I can't live without you. We will always be together..."

The phone woke Janie from her dream. She was disoriented, forgetting where she was. It came back to her with a crash. "Oh God!" she sobbed. The emptiness she felt inside was infinite. The dream seemed so real.

The answering machine caught the call. "Janie? Are you there? Pick up...." It was

Mark. "Janie - Rusty's taken off on his motorbike. Nobody is sure where he went, but at least we have it narrowed down. I'm at the farm. I'll be back tomorrow morning. Call me if you need anything....or if you just need to talk." There was a good length of silence before he hung the phone up - as if he just couldn't find the right words to say.

Chapter 5

To Janie, the cab ride back to her apartment seemed to be endless. She had so many thoughts crashing around in her brain that she couldn't grasp just one.

Squeezing her eyes shut and resting the bridge of her nose on her fingers, Janie willed herself to get control - to focus on the here and now. This was not the way that this deal was supposed to play out. Burning tears welled up in her eyes as she cursed the day she met Russell, the day she moved to Australia, and the day she didn't kill her step-father when she had the chance.

Climbing the steps up to her apartment proved to be quite an effort to Janie. 

She had sweat pouring off her brow as she reached the last step. Vertigo setting in, she eased herself down into a sitting position and closed her eyes, praying for the world to quit spinning - literally. What am I supposed to do now, Russell? Beg your forgiveness? How dare you say those things! You had no idea what was going on or what I was going through! Am I supposed to forgive you? It played over and over in her head like a broken record. Janie was so angry and hurt that if Russell were to walk up at that moment, she would punch him in the face as hard as she could. Would that fix anything? Probably not. Would it make her feel better? Probably - for a few seconds. She hurt badly both inside and out and desperately needed a way to extinguish it.

"Excuse me, Miss? Are you Miss Jane Dougherty?" a voice jerked her back to reality. Her eyes fluttered open, and she found herself looking at a burly man some type of delivery-man uniform.

"Huh? Oh - yeah - that's me. What can I do for you?"

"We're from the moving company. We are here to move you - this is the right day, isn't it?" he shuffled the papers on his clipboard and glanced back at two other similarly dressed men climbing the stairs.

"Oh no" she muttered underneath her breath. Janie never got the chance to call the movers the day before and push the moving date back a few days because of her condition - and now here they were! "I'm so sorry...I haven't started packing a thing - I've been ill. Here, let me show you..."

"Do you want to reschedule?" the big burly guy asked, in a concerned tone. Janie pondered for a few seconds, deciding that she really did not want to stay another day in that prison of an apartment.

"No....no, I'd rather get the show on the road." Jane replied in a resolute tone.

The next few hours were spent tossing her life into boxes and watching 3 strangers pack them on a truck. The packing was good therapy for her emotionally, but not the best idea for her medical condition. She found herself taking frequent breaks at the urging of the moving men. Once again, this wasn't the way she pictured this event at all. Russell had been urging her to buy a house - to spend that money she had squirreled away from the novels she had written. Quietly, she had done just that. She paid cash for a lovely beach house 5 hours away from her apartment. It had recently been remodeled, inside and out.

The side of the house that faced the ocean was nothing but huge panes of beveled glass. There was a screened porch off to the side. The beach was private and the grounds were landscaped. There was an older couple that lived up the lane. They functioned as caretakers of the property for the previous owner and had agreed to stay on until Janie could decide if she wanted to keep them on, or hire someone else. In her grand scheme, she had hoped to be moved when Russ returned from the States. She remembered daydreaming about how surprised and proud that he would be of her for taking the initiative to do something for herself. She also dreamt of the carnal desires that could be played out in every room and on the beach.

Sadly, with her opinion of Russell as it was at the time - she really didn't care what he thought or if she ever saw him again. She wanted to go back to square one. No romantic entanglements. Just her, her story ideas, and her laptop. Janie's thoughts soon wandered to Mark. She felt sorry for him - seemingly caught in the middle. Mark and her had a sort of friendship that she had never experienced with a man before. She surely did not want to cause problems for Mark - where his best friend and employer were concerned - but the thought of him not 'being around' made her heart sink a little more. Janie felt that if her relationship with Russell was over, she wouldn't see Mark anymore - as if they were a package deal.

Chapter 6

Russell sat propped up against a tree near the road where his motorcycle and its gas gauge now sat on "E". He crumpled up the empty cigarette pack and tossed it aside blindly after lighting up his last smoke. His head was pounding - he hadn't eaten since before he left the States. Russell rubbed his beard and glanced back at his bike "Fine mess I've gotten myself into" he muttered.

Russell leaned his head back on the tree and closed his eyes, trying to will his headache away so that he could think. All he could see behind his eyelids were images of Janie. It made his heart ache with a longing that he may never again be able to fulfill after his actions from the previous day. Having her near him made him feel complete in the most divine way. She was so small - even her hands - when he held them, his big paws swallowed them whole. His favorite time of the day was morning. He would get up to answer the call of nature and then return to watch Janie sleep. She would usually be curled up in a ball with the covers pulled up to her nose. If it wasn't for that jet black hair poking out, he joked that he would lose her in the bed. Then there were her eyes. They were the most striking pale ocean blue that he had ever seen. As you can imagine, her sun-kissed brown skin provided a stunning contrast to her hair and eyes.

That day that he plowed into her as he was exiting the fast food place, the last thing on earth he was looking for was an attachment. He was in hurry - in retrospect, he can't recall why - and he wasn't paying a bit of attention when he swung the door open. He was too busy digging in the bag to make sure they included his extra rolls. Janie saw him coming but had nowhere to go. "HEY!" she managed to scream as he knocked her off her feet, squarely onto her ass on the pavement. Russell almost lost his balance and fell on her, but righted himself awkwardly.

"Jesus, hon. I'm so sorry!" he chuckled and extended his hand to help her up. 

She shot an 'eat shit' glare up at him with those periwinkle eyes. Janie got back to her feet on her own, and brushed her clothes off.

"It's ok - just watch where you're going, will ya?" she commented in an exasperated tone.

That was it. Russell couldn't let her walk away. He wanted a better look at those eyes and the body that surrounded them. She was so adorable angry, he just knew she would be practically edible when laughing. Russell felt his dick stir in agreement. "Hey - let me buy your lunch, please? To make up for not paying attention?"

"Uh, no - that's alright. Thanks anyway."

Russell followed her back inside. He was on her heels - hoping to change her mind. She stopped abruptly, and Russell plowed into her - again. This time, he caught her arm before she fell over forward. Janie turned around and was just about to berate him verbally when she got a really good look at his face. Her nipples went hard immediately - which Russell noticed with the same speed.

Embarrassed and blushing, he cleared his throat in an attempt to regain composure. Other people in the joint were starting to take notice of the scene.

"Look - just let me buy your lunch - I insist."

Janie didn't know what do to. Standing before her in some comically baggy shorts, a TOFOG work shirt and a ball cap was her adopted country's biggest claim to fame (at least to the States), Russell Crowe - begging to buy her lunch. Wait until her friends in the States heard about this! So she did what any closet Russell Crowe fan would do, she nodded her assent, speechless.

She ordered - to go - and he paid. She noticed that he seemed to be visibly nervous, jiggling the change in his pocket and drumming his fingers on the counter. Janie and Russell turned to each other and started speaking at the same time, to which they both broke out in giggles. "Go ahead" she said.

"It's a gorgeous day - would you, um....care to eat your lunch with me at the park?" he was so afraid she would say no and he would have to resort to other tactics.

"Are you serious?" she blurted out in a near high pitch squeal. She suddenly felt so idiotic - like a goofy fan. Janie cleared her throat "No - I really have to get back to..."

"Please?" he stood there with his eyebrows raised in a plead. He didn't catch the giddy crazed fan in her voice - he was too busy devouring her eyes with his own. "I promise that I don't bite."

"I don't go out on lunch dates with strangers" she attempted to reason, very poorly and not credibly.

Russell presented his hand, "I'm Russell, and you are?"

"Janie" she shook his hand and he noticed she was trembling.

"Not strangers now! Let's go - after you." Russell motioned towards the door. 

All she could do was roll her eyes at him and lead the way.

Russell sat in the middle of Nowhere, Oz reminiscing about their lunch in the park. How he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. What was it about her? Why her? He found himself so wrapped up in maintaining a conversation with her - trying to learn more about her - that he didn't even realize that he had finished his entire meal and drink. This recollection caused his empty stomach to complain with a audible gurgle. Russell rubbed his stomach and checked his cell phone one more time - as if it's dead battery would suddenly spring to life. "Yes, Rusty. Fine mess indeed." He leaned his head back against the tree and gradually slipped into a doze.

Chapter 7

Her hands were cool and soft against his hot sweaty skin. She worked his belt buckle and tugged at his button fly until she freed its captive. "Mmmmm, lover...no underpants" she purred in a honey decadent voice. He sucked in a breath through his teeth and moaned as his cock twitched at her, ready for her ministrations. "Watching you play that guitar and sing in front of all those people makes me horny, baby - you know that?"

She was slowly jacking him with her spit lubricated hand - up and down the velvety softness of his hard-as-rock erection. He was leaned back on a small desk in a storage closet in the rear of the pub. Janie was knelt squarely between his legs, gazing up at him through hooded pale blue eyes. The only light was a dim 40 watt bulb hanging high over their heads. It cast a glow over her face and her eyes reflected the light up to his face - like a cat. Janie made a growling sound deep in her throat and she went down and took one of his balls in her mouth and sucked gently.

"Fuck. Fuck. Oh yeah...fuck!" Russell croaked with a hoarse gig-exhausted voice. His hands went to her hair. He tangled his fingers and kneaded her scalp.

She licked and sucked his other ball and then ran her tongue slowly up the length of this shaft, her eyes centered on this face the entire time. She inhaled his musky moist scent and almost sent herself into an orgasm. Russell leaned in for a better view of her actions and sweat dripped off his forehead onto hers. He dragged his hand through his drenched hair, flopping his hair to one side. Her tongue reached the top of his dick and swirled around to catch and swallow the pre-cum gift that was waiting for her. "Baby, you taste soooo good" she cooed.

"Grrrr, just suck it, Janie, you are killing me!!!" His breathing was short and deep. He was growing more and more impatient by the second.

"As you wish." Janie gave him an evil stare and put her mouth on his swollen purple plum and then went down as slowly as she could. His eyes were locked onto hers and that was all he needed. By the time she made it to the bottom of his rod, he was shooting wads of cum at the back of her throat. Janie sucked him dry. She stood up and chuckled, "So, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?"

"See what you do to me? He playfully hissed at her. "I can't even control myself. It's like being fourteen again!" He grabbed the back of her head and pressed his mouth on hers, tasting her sweetness intermingled with himself.

Their tongues were digging and probing, attempting to reach a place that was unachievable. Russell wrapped his arms around her moaned. He broke off the kiss to gaze into her eyes, where he momentarily lost himself.

"Hey! Anyone seen Russ? Where the fuck is that cunt? God damn it!!!" they heard Mark's voice outside the door. They stifled their giggles. Janie reached up and gently kissed Russell's mouth.

"I think I'm going to enjoy traveling with you." Janie whispered. Russell grunted in agreement and hugged her close swaying back and forth.

"I suppose I should go out and play the second set now, eh?" his eyes danced in a laugh.

"Yes." Her eyes dropped to his midsection. "But I'd haul in my gear first if I were you." She laughed heartily and slipped out the door.

The hollow thump-thump-thump of helicopter blades roused him from his thoughts. The helicopter circled and landed. Mark spotted a road-tousled Russell sitting under the tree. He made a comment to the pilot, unbuckled his belts and hopped out - carrying a bag. The helicopter lifted and took off. Mark began walking towards Russell, his mind frantically searching for what to say - or what not to say. He was praying that Russell had calmed down - for if he called Janie a whore again, he knew he would most likely knock the cocky bastard on his ass.

Russell didn't acknowledge his presence, he kept his eyes pointed to the ground, much like a child who was facing a good scolding. Mark fished around in the bag pulling out a bottled water and a pack of smokes. He tossed them at Russell's foot. "How long you been here, mate?" Mark - who was going to play the quiet game with Russell, but gave in at the last moment - asked.

"I dunno.....hours." Russell still wouldn't look at Mark. Mark sat down beside him and leaned against the tree in a similar fashion.

"Terry's bringin' the truck."

"Good."

The silence was killing Mark, but he held his anger in check.

"Look mate, I really am sorry for what I said to you. I dunno where that came from." Russell croaked in a hoarse voice, sipping the cool water from the bottle. He waited for Mark to reply, but he didn't. "You know I didn't mean it, don't ya?" Still - Mark was silent. Russell inhaled deeply, then exhaled, "Janie is a special girl. There is something about her that appeals to my .... I don't know how to say it.... I....I just want to take care of her, Mark. There is plenty of pain and hurt behind her eyes - have you ever seen it? I'm sure you have. I admit that I've been jealous of the relationship that the two of you seem to share. Has she ever told you where that pain comes from? Has she ever shared with you why it is she is terrified of the spotlight that I'm in? Well?"

"No mate, she hasn't."

"This last trip to the States was awful for me. I missed her terribly, but it gave me time to think about us. I hardly know anything about her. She writes - very well, I might add. She's not hurting for money. She likes fried chicken and beer, heh heh. She is very bright and intelligent. Dammit, she even knows how to handle me when I'm being an arse. Hell - I don't think we've even scraped the surface of what we are capable of in the bedroom." Mark winced at this last remark, balling his hand into a fist and releasing it. "I came back home early because I wanted to talk to her, face to face - not on the phone - and tell her that I love her. I wanted her to tell me all the bad things that have happened to her, so that I could try to take that hurt away from her eyes, mate. That is all I could see in my dreams. Her eyes. It's driving me mad....."

Mark was dying to speak - to shout at him, but the words couldn't make their way through his clenched jaw. Had Russell seen the look on his face, he would have known instantly. Russell began to speak again, this time with an audible lump in his throat, "Look what I've done now, Mark. I took six great months of my life and threw it away with my big fat mouth. That poor girl is pregnant - and no - there is no doubt in my mind that it's mine. I never gave her a chance to tell me about it. I never gave her the benefit of the doubt. I've wanted children, true - but this isn't the way I planned it. Maybe we aren't supposed to be able to plan every aspect of our lives, huh Mark?" Russell was sniffling and fighting back tears of pain.

"Mate, there is..."

"No, Mark - let me finish - I need to get it all out. I don't know how yet, but I am going to make it up to her. I am going to do everything I can...whatever she wants. I'll ask her to marry me - if she will still have me....and-"

"Russell - could you shut the fuck up for once?" Russell leapt up from the ground and walked around the tree to face Mark. He stared down at him with a confused glare.

"What?"

Mark looked up at him. "What makes you so sure that she wants you back? You called her a whore, Russell. Do you think she is just going to forget about that? Jesus, mate! She was in a delicate way and there you are - the selfish bastard that you can be - yelling at her as if she had shot one of your prized horses. Did you not see the look on her face? You hurt her, mate. I don't think she'll come-a callin' any time soon."

Russell's jaw was set and his hands were balled into fists at his side. He knew 

Mark was right, but the words still stung like a slap in the face. "Did you know?" he asked Mark in a eerily calm voice.

"No, I didn't. I knew something was up. She wasn't herself the times that she called me looking for you. She sounded detached and depressed. I though she was down because she wasn't with you in the States."

Russell turned and paced lethargically back and forth, lost in thought - his face changing emotions by the second. "What would you do, mate?"

Mark chuckled sarcastically, 'Well - I guess I would apologize first and ask her what she wants. But really, Russ - there is something that...."

Russell cut him off again. "Bollocks! I am so stupid. Of course! I need to find out what she wants to do and be the supportive bastard that she needs right now!" Russell grinned at himself as if it was the most original idea he ever had. "Terry should be here any minute, eh? That means I could get back to her apartment by - no, I should stop by the store and pick up a teddy bear - should I get one with a pink ribbon or blue..."

Mark stood up, jerked Russell around and pinned him to the tree. The startled look on Russell's face was one that he wouldn't soon forget. Mark gritted his teeth and hissed, "THERE IS NO FUCKING BABY, YOU ARSE!"

"WHAT?" Russell was pushing Mark back, trying to get loose, but Mark was having none of it. "I HEARD the fucking answering machine message!"

"If you weren't so fucking self centered, Russell, you would have SEEN that she was in physical pain when she returned to her apartment and found you there."

Mark shouted, merely inches from Russell's face. Spittle flying left and right. 

All at once, realization came to Russell and it was evident on his face. "YES! 

That's it mate! She miscarried the baby! While you were standing there screaming at her like a lunatic! That's why she stayed behind! That is why she didn't go with you! She had known before you left for the States that she might be pregnant! She wanted to find out for sure and then decide what to do from there!

When she began bleeding and having pains, she knew something was terribly wrong! She had a FUCKING doctor's appointment that afternoon that you showed up unannounced! The emergency room doctor said that her OB-GYN would have probably performed a routine DNC at that time because her body was rejecting the fetus almost from the start! YES MATE! She was on FUCKING birth control! It's not 100% effective, you know! Mark shoved Russell against the tree as hard as he could, then turned and walked a few steps away. Russell slid down the tree and stared into the distance. Speechless.