I never have much problem deciding where to begin a story usually. Something always comes to me, some way of catching the attention on line one and drawing a reader in. Or that's the idea anyway. This time I've sat here for what seems like weeks just wondering what in heaven's name can I say to try and explain what happened.

You listening now? Finding it hard to look away?

Well, then, that will just have to do for an opener then...

Right from the word go, I knew this was different. I've been in love so many times...I thought I knew the score...as the old song goes. But very early on with Andy, I knew there was something going on that was fundamentally different from all the other serious relationships I've had. But, I couldn't for the life of me work out what. Now that alone is strange. I'm the queen of putting everything under the microscope and theorising it to death. Yet with Andy I felt like I was simply stumbling around in the dark.

That's really when I knew it was the real thing.

It wasn't easy. It never is. I look at others and they seem to meet, fall in love and slip into some groove where they both act like one being. How do people achieve that? Is it just me and my contrary nature that makes me always go my own way even when I'm holding someone else's hand?

I suppose it might have been simpler if Andy and I had even one single thing on the surface in common. Age was just the starter of our lack of apparent suitability for each other. We are honestly poles apart. I have never been with a man less suited on paper for me than he.

Lightbulb moment. Is that how you know it must be right then?

I am flighty and easily bored, selfish and headstrong, intellectually arrogant and wholly undomesticated. I have few practical skills. I am seriously high maintenance. I am resolutely single and independent. I wouldn't like myself at all if I had to share a compartment on a long train journey.

Andy is steady and sensible, kind and good-hearted, smart but woefully undereducated, embarrassingly handy round the house and in the kitchen. He has no vanity and is uninterested in his image, fashion, design, money other than as a means to an end. He is looking for love and highly romantic - a natural partner for most women. Everyone loves him and I'm betting he would be most people's choice for someone to be stranded on a desert island with.

What are we doing together?

Well, we just happened to have fallen in love. Or should I say LOVE. I mean I feel it deserves capital letters, at least. I should know. I've been in love a lot of times. So when I say LOVE, I'm not joking.

This is a really big deal for both of us. So big that I don't think either of us really likes to share it with anyone else. We spend a lot of time ignoring each other during the day as though we are just sleeping partners who work together. I often think others see us as just that: a couple, both alone and adrift, who have, by virtue of being thrown together under the same roof, fallen into a friendship with a healthy sex life as a sideline. Sometimes I believe we both encourage that viewpoint, unwilling to let the truth be known. We're already in enough of a fishbowl as it is.

A pub is a very public place. That's what the word means - public house. You go there to meet everyone, have a laugh and a chat, share your good times and bad, meet friends, get drunk....but what of those behind the bar? At the end of the day, to them it's just their job. They are paid to serve the clientele, listen to their moans and groans, cheer them up, offer words of advice, pull their pints, prepare their meals, be their friends. But what of their needs? I know it is an unusual set up. We are all friends as well. But still, in the final analysis where everyone else can choose whether or not they visit, can go off and do their own thing, can conduct the bulk of their lives in private, those of us behind the bar are always on show and must always put on the happy face for the customers.

Paul and Jessie are slightly different in that they do go home at the end of a shift and are not working every night of the week. But for Andy and I this is our home, it is open all hours and whether we are off duty or on, our life is always on display and if we wish to be near each other, it means hanging round the bar almost every day of our lives.

Now when you are in a pub, everyone has an opinion about you and your life. We all do it. If someone at the bar reveals something then every man and his dog chips in with his opinion - and rightly so. That's the point, the comforting blanket of the local hostelry. Then you go home and live your life.

Ours is lived here in full view of everyone. Everyone has an opinion. I can't ask Andy a single thing without someone hearing what I say. If we are grumpy with each other, everyone knows. If we look like we've had sex, most people announce it across the bar. If we want to talk someone interrupts either with something totally unrelated, a request for service or the benefit of their wisdom.

There are also other aspects of this, too. I'm the boss. Andy works for me. It's an awkward position. He's pretty good about working it out, never questioning my judgment, accepting it when I lay into the staff for something, joking behind my back as all staff do, keeping absolutely discreet about the information he becomes privy to that in all fairness an employer would not usually know. But there are still times that this puts him in a position. He does have a sway over me that his position does not warrant. I do confide in him things that he ought not to know. Others do at times resent his natural assumption of authority.

It has sometimes been awkward with Heather, for example. She is Andy's employer too. These days she takes a more backseat role and inevitably gets left out of things. Sometimes she sees that Andy has taken a decision and she hasn't been told. An oversight - but it annoys her and she takes him to task for overstepping his authority. I can't argue with that and Andy feels out on a limb. Other times he overhears things that are not entirely complimentary about me. Should he react as a man and challenge them or as a member of staff and let them go? Difficult call.

The job causes arguments between us. He gets frustrated in a lot of ways. It's hard for a man always to be in the deferent position all the time. It's embarrassing for him to accept wages from me. I know he wants to take the lead many times but is unsure how to go about it. These are emasculating issues for a young man. From time to time he obviously rises up against them and bucks against the leash he feels restraining him. It's natural. As we grow as a couple and he as a man, there has obviously been a shift in the ground between us. Behind closed doors, he is no longer a junior to me. He is my man. I look up to him for his strength and leadership. I want to be taken care of after a lifetime of being the tough one. Is it any surprise that we are finding it hard to keep the myth going before others?

Another added pressure, far greater, I suppose, is this strange world we live in. For some reason unknown to me, I have been chosen as a conduit for these men and have always taken that fact extremely seriously. I love them. I care about them. I am always here to help them when they need it. You could say that they have been my crusade in life for a long time now.

But Andy is now my priority. And yet time and time again he has to sit back whilst my energies are poured into other people's lives. And he doesn't like it. Or understand it. I would go so far as to say that this is the real rub. He wants to me to let it all go.

So far I have been talking about me too much. Andy has another set of needs of his own. He made this trip away from home to travel and see the world. So far, he hasn't done much. Not long after he arrived, he found us and has been pretty tied to this bar since then. It has been a reasonably good move for him career wise and he has used the time to study and get a business qualification under his belt. But, frankly, if it weren't for me, this would be the time for him to move on. Andy has ambitions. There are things he wants to do with his life. Yet, for my sake, he hangs around being a barman and short order chef most of the time, putting his life and dreams on hold.

I think we all know that a situation like that is only going to work for so long before the cracks are going to show.

And the cracks are beginning to appear.

First there was Maximus. Interestingly enough, that one was easier to solve than I had thought possible. I know I have Maximus himself to thank for that. He, above anyone, knows how to handle the fragile egos of younger men and he has a real soft spot for Andy, seeing in him many qualities he admires. In the end, that little trauma did Andy a great deal of good. But it also raised issues in his head that were to lead to real trouble later. You see, Maximus had shown him something about himself. He was a man. This was his time. I am his woman. And it increased his sense that it was time he did something to prove it.

Jack Bauer was the real catalyst for what happened. This is not the place to tell his story other than to say this. I like him. A lot. In another time I think we could have been good for each other. From the very first, I knew he was a danger to our world and with my usual desire to protect my cubs like a lioness, I marched right in and took a role in the business of restraining him. The other men did not really try to stop me. I think they saw it too.

That Jack Bauer had a weakness for me. And that I was drawn to him too.

I'm not too proud of how I played on that. Yet I would do it again if I had to. Enough said on that matter. The story will be told elsewhere. Andy was left out on a limb in all this. At that time we were not doing too well - for many of the reasons I have mentioned above - and he was already frustrated and embittered by a few things. Then he saw me flirting with Bauer. There were a few unexplained absences. He worked it out. He knew I had been to dinner with another man. He guessed there had been more than dinner shared. He guessed wrong but the damage had been largely done.

"Where have you been?"

"I went out with some girlfriends."

"Dressed like that?"

"Stop treating me like you can't trust me!"

"You were out with a man. I think it was Bauer. How can I trust you if you lie to me?"

So I sat down and told him the truth. He believed me. But he was still angry.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You would have said no."

"Damn right, I would."

"See!"

"See what? I don't see any of them putting their women forward as guinea pigs. You think Terry would have let Gaia do it? Grant- Carol? White - Marie? Biebe - Clarity? Dino - Heather? Maximus - Ann?  Get real. They heard your offer and grabbed it. Never even considered me for one moment. I'm just Andy. I'm not a big tough cop or a soldier. I'm just a bar man. I just sleep with my boss. Don't let him in the loop..."

"It wasn't like that!"

"Oh, but it was! Which is why you never told me. This has got to stop, Uma. It has seriously got to stop. I'm not standing for it anymore, you hear me? You are either my woman or you're not. No one - but no one - has the right to make decisions about your life but me..."

"Excuse me...I am the only one who has the right...."

"Actually no. You and me together. Do you even have the first idea about relationships? About the compromises required and the extent that you have to stop walking your own path and begin to walk a joint path? So far, I have given up everything for you. When are you going to make that sacrifice for me? You can throw everything we have to the side whenever any of the others say jump....but me? You do nothing for me. Nothing. And it has to stop. Right here. Right now. Or I'm telling you we've come to the end of the road..."

It was a really bad fight. You could tell how bad it was for the fact that I didn't say much. Which I suppose largely disqualifies it as a fight really. But Andy was steaming mad. I mean, really steaming. So bad that he just walked out, got in his car and drove out on what sounded like 2 wheels. It was one o' clock in the morning. I just sat at the window and prayed he wouldn't do anything stupid.

Actually he didn't. He did something very sensible. He drove over to Jeff's and knocked them up. I know that because Paul dropped by the next morning on his way to the site. He strolled in looking completely un-Paul like in a donkey jacket and baggy jeans, a yellow hard hat on his head.

"You got a minute, boss?" he said looking about. There was no one here but Hilda the cleaning lady and with her being hard of hearing and the vacuum cleaner on full blast, I knew we were safe.

"Sure, just don't tell me you can't make it tonight..."

He shook his head, grinning. Paul is endlessly patient with me and I am not always very nice with him. I think it is actually a sign that I like him rather a lot that my guard is so often down around him. "I just wanted to give you the nod in case he doesn't tell you. He's at our place. Jeff's calmed him down and told him to get his head down and take a break. But I thought you should know..."

I paled a little at that. Andy obviously didn't intend for me to know where he was; this was Paul being a mate. "Is he ...all right?" I didn't really know what else to say.

"Yeah...just a bit pissed off. It's understandable, though. No bloke would like that really."

"I know."

He nodded and put his arm round me. "Hey, worse things happen at sea. He'll be back when he's had a sulk. But...I know it's none of my business...but I think there's a couple of things you two need to sort out. Uma...he's on the edge...and it isn't like Andy..."

"I know."

He didn't push it. I forgot to tell him how grateful I was for his being there for Andy. Jeff, too. They're good mates to him. 

Better than I am, that's for sure.

He came back late afternoon. I'd had a nightmare over the lunches, simply just putting a sign up saying the kitchen was closed. There was no one about when he walked in. I looked up but he simply went and locked the main door and pointed upstairs.

"We alone?"

I nodded. He walked upstairs and I followed him.

He sat down and indicated that I should too; I took a seat opposite him. What followed was probably the most painful interlude I have ever spent with any man.

"This can't go on."

"I know."

"What are we going to do about it then?"

"I don't know."

"That's not good enough."

"I know."

"Stop saying 'I know'! Say some bloody thing that makes sense!"

"Andy....what do you really want of me? Tell me..."

So he told me and it was a staggering cost. Was he worth it? Yes, he was.  Was I? Now there's the thing. In the end was this really the best for him?

"Proof, Uma. Real proof.  Proof enough even for a bloody blind man to recognise! Incontrovertible proof that you love me and that nothing or no one is as important as I am in your life. That's why it always failed with the others, you know that? You never loved any man enough to make that choice. I'm calling it now, Uma. One of us has to. That's just the way it's gonna be."

So the ultimatum was laid down. I knew he was right. Not for one moment did I begrudge what he did. But I wasn't sure that I was strong enough to make the right choice for both of us. Or was that the wrong choice for both of us?

I did my usual Oscar winning performance before the others for the next few days and Andy himself did a pretty fair job of making everything seem just hunky dory. But pretending takes it out of you. When I was not in the spotlight, it was often hard to hold it all together.

Heather knew there was something wrong. One day she found me sitting in my bedroom, staring out of the window. It was raining heavily. There was nothing to see.

"Hey, have you got any....? What's up, girl? Waiting for Christmas?" She smiled and came over and joined me. I turned away slightly. There were tearstains on my face.

"I'm okay. Just bored."

"Where's Andy?"

"Out."

"Without you?"

"We're not joined at the hip. Where's Dino?"

"Working. You don't get much time alone. I'm surprised you aren't with him, is all."

I shrugged. She didn't say anything. Just sat there by my side. That's how she is, Heather. She doesn't push or prod but she waits. In the end you have to say something.

"I don't think it's working."

"You've said that before."

"And it never worked."

"I mean about Andy. And he's still here."

"For now."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we were like ordinary people? With regular lives? Do you ever think we could hope for that one day?"

She didn't answer at first. "I think we can have whatever we like. But we have to work for it. And choices may have to be made. In the end our destiny is entirely up to ourselves..."

I smiled. "That go for you too?"

"Ah...well, I'm still working on that one...advice to others is much easier..."

"You said it, sister..." She put her arms around me and said nothing more. I just clung on. Sometimes words are the problem. You need to let emotions guide you.

One lunch time a few days later, I was sitting reading a newspaper in a sort of desultory fashion. I still hadn't made my mind up. That morning I'd paid a visit to Terry at his office. He had been surprised but covered it well. We sat and chatted for awhile and then I came straight out with it. He sat and said nothing for a few moments and then sighed heavily.

"I'm supposed to solve this one for you?"

I grinned. "Well, an opinion would be nice."

"Okay...two answers. No. Yes. That any use?"

I had to laugh. "Terry, that is so...bloody useless..."

"It's all you've got, Uma. Yes or No. Say Yes and you win. Say No and you lose. Or is it the other way round? It doesn't matter what I think. Only you can know what's best for you. Anything I say will be from my perspective. And you know what I would say if it was left up to me, don't you? But that would be selfish and half the problem with the dilemma in the first place. You're on your own, kid. Unless you choose to be with him. Then you will never be alone again. And ain't that the truth?

So there I was pretending to read a newspaper and worrying this conundrum half to death when someone settled down in the seat across from me in the booth by the window where I was sitting.

"Need some company?" It was Dino. I looked up with a smile. For a second I wondered if Terry had said anything but almost immediately I knew he hadn't. But I guessed someone had. This did not have the feel of a chance meeting.

"Coffee?"

"Sure."

I went to fetch us both a cup and we settled back talking idly about a few news items for a while. Then he slipped into his real reason for being here.

"What's going down with you and Andy? We don't seem to need earplugs any more these nights..."

I threw a sugar packet across at him. "Everything's cool."

"Try telling that to someone else who hasn't been watching you break in two for days..." he replied with a soft smile.

I shrugged. "You think you can read me?"

"Oh sure."

"How come? Am I that obvious?"

"Not at all. You are not in the least easy. But that's how I know. See...when you are hiding the most, you appear to be so bright and breezy. With that gleam of incipient madness in your eye..."

I grunted. "Oh yeah...and how do you figure that?"

"'Cos it's how I do it, honey. I think you and I got a lot in common."

"You do?"

"Oh yeah. Like...we're both thinking to ourselves, now would I be doing them a big favour if I walked on by?"

My head shot up at that. I thought about it for a moment. Did he worry about the age gap too? I thought men never considered that. But maybe they do. Or some men do.

"Answer me this, Dino. Wouldn't it make more sense it if were me and you? I mean, look at the facts. We're a good age difference. I'm smart and you like smart women. I'm moderately attractive and I do so love wearing those high heels that drive you crazy. You like to party. So do I. You like to go a little wild sometimes. So do I. You are away a lot. I like my independence. You're not exactly the archetypal family man. I'm hardly going to win the Housewife of the Year award. You like dining out. I can't cook. You have money. I love to spend. Why wasn't it you and me? Heather and Andy? Why did we make the most inappropriate choices?"

He laughed softly to himself. "Honey, you and I would kill each other - either from too much high living or the consequences of neither of us ever knowing when to shut up. Why not you? I don't know. But there's gotta be a reason. I met you both on the same day. I saw you and whistled to myself: 'Well, there is one fine lady'. Then I saw Heather and I was struck temporarily dumb. Terry had to kickstart me to get me going. But then there were other reasons for that....as it transpired...Just something happens, sweetheart. But it's more complicated than that. The person who does it for you complements you. They give you what you need and you do the same for them. Maybe you should start trying to find what draws you instead of dwelling on what should keep you apart?"

"Is that how you do it?" I asked.

"I'm using this as therapy, honey. I just thought of that. See how it's working already?"

I giggled. "So, you think I need a younger man for some reason and he needs an older woman like maybe he's got some mother complex?"

Dino said. "He's not just a younger man. His age is only one aspect of him. It might very well be something else that he gives you. On the other hand, he might well have a need for a mother. But are you really the obvious choice? I would hazard a guess that even at eighty no one would regard you as a typical grandma...you are looking for the obvious. Free your mind and look for something that you've never seen before. On the other hand what if the reason is as simple as he likes older women and you like them young? Why would that be so terrible? Is it any worse than liking a blonde, or a muscular guy, or someone with brains, or a great athlete? We all have a blueprint somewhere. Who's to say we should fight it?"

I gave it some thought. "But if I make this decision, say it is wrong?"

"Then you can't say you never tried. Nothing you decide on has to close every door in life. But I don't think that is something to worry about now. Close your eyes. Listen to your heart.  Do what you want to do. And I swear it will be the making of you both."

Could it be that simple?

"Only if you take your own advice."

He spat on his hand and held it out. "Done!"

I repeated the action and we shook hands with me pulling my face and saying: "Why do people do that spitting thing?"

He just laughed. "So we can crack a bottle of Irish to kill the germs...come on, bartender...set them up...!"

In the end I never told him my decision. I think I dilly dallied for too long. Andy had not actually put a time limit on me but I can't say I blame him for simply giving up in the end. How long does a guy have to hang on after he has made a last ditch appeal for his woman to put him first above all things at last? If it takes her too long to make up her mind then frankly it's already made up. She can't.

The irony was I intended to tell him that night and had spent all the day putting the necessary wheels in motion. By the time I returned the evening session was already underway. It was still early and quiet but there was a sort of atmosphere behind the bar that grabbed me even before I had done more than stepped in the door. Jessie looked upset and Paul was subdued. Something was clearly up.

It only took a few questions to ascertain that Andy was a no show for work that evening. Paul looked over at me and his eyes were asking a question. I glanced across the bar and saw Jeff looking down, avoiding my eyes. Dragging on Paul's hand, I pulled him into the back.

"Where is he?"

Paul grimaced. "I can't tell you. I promised I wouldn't."

"PAUL!!"

"Look in his room. That's all I can say..."

I stared at him and then still holding him by the hand pulled him upstairs. Andy's room was neater than usual. He just uses it as a dump for his stuff most of the time. Recently he has been sleeping there. We are still having sex but he usually leaves me at some time in the night and sleeps alone. He said he needed the space and so did I.

I opened the wardrobe and found it full of his clothes. Most of his belongings were in their usual place. I looked confused at Paul. 

"What is not there?"

Then the penny dropped. He had gone. Left almost everything except the things he had come in and his jacket. Andy had walked out of the life we had together. I had taken too long to make up my mind and now he was carrying out his promise.

I gasped and my knees just gave way. It was the worst shock I had ever had. I just dropped to my knees. Paul dashed over and knelt down by me holding me tight. "He's gone, hasn't he? He's left me. He didn't even say goodbye..."

"He left a letter. It's on your bed. Uma...he just couldn't face you. He loves you too much. If he had stayed to tell you, I don't think he could have walked away. But he knows he has to. Do you understand that?"

"I was going to tell him. I was going to say Yes..."

"Jesus Christ....he's at Heathrow. His flight's eleven fifteen. Qantas. You've still got time...."

"What do you think, Paul? What do you really think?" I turned to him and grabbed his shirt by the collar. I should have asked him first.

"I think you should grab him and hold on tight for the rest of your life. Fuck everything else. Nothing matters as much as you two. Nothing. And if you let him go you will spend the rest of your days regretting it. Just go. Now. Never look back."

"Why didn't you say this before!"

"You never asked. What does a drama queen like me know about love...?"

"Everything! Everything! One look at Jeff tells me that if I wasn't so fucking blind...Paul...I love you. I have never told you how much you mean to me. I have treated you pretty shabbily. But you are such a fine man...you can't help that you come from Liverpool...."

He grinned and cuddled me close. "Now go...go...go....out the back...this is between us...but name your first one Paula..."

"Say it's a boy?"

He just snorted. "A boy like me? Paula will do just as well..." I kissed him hard on the lips then, ran to my room, shoved a few things in my handbag and hit the road. You know, I never looked back. Not even once. I just kept my eyes on that open road and fixed on the future. Please God, give me this one chance to get it right and I shall never ever ask for anything else ever again.

If you're not familiar with Heathrow in the summer then I can only compare it to an Hieronymus Bosch painting. There was no way I was going to bump into him in that swarm of humanity. I thought of paging him but suspected he was probably already in departures and wouldn't be able to get to me. The Qantas check in was crowded but he wasn't in the queue. They refused to tell me if he had checked in or not yet - they are always so cagey about giving out information.

So I went to information and bought a ticket; it got me to the departure lounge and I decided to try and intercept him at his gate. I felt like some spy or something.

It was simpler than I had imagined. There he was at gate 98 slumped on a seat by the window, gazing out into the night sky, his feet on his rucksack, his fingers tracing raindrops down the soundproof glass. I wondered if they stood in for the tears he couldn't shed in this public place. There was something so painfully desperate about what he had done. Just gone. Too hurt even to face me. It wasn't cowardice, I knew that. But his heart was breaking and he was wavering from this act that was so important. It is one thing being the decisive one. It is another to carry that out to its end. But he knew that he had to go for both of us. There was no other viable course of action. This was an act of bravery - to do it and spare me the final scene. I then remembered I had forgotten to read his letter. It must have still been lying there on the bed but I had run out in too much of a hurry to pick it up. Perhaps it was better that I hadn't.

I walked over and stood before him; he saw my reflection in the window and spun round.

"You shouldn't be here..." he began.

"Oh but I should..."

"It's too late, Uma..."

"Let me show you something..." I pulled an envelope from my bag and ripped it open. Inside was a cheque. I showed it to him.

"What's this?" he asked confused.

"I sold my share. To Chili. He was very fair. Generous, even."

"I don't understand..."

"I'm coming with you. I was always going to. I just worried that you might be better off alone. But in the end, I wasn't strong enough to face life without you. Andy...don't leave me! I would simply die. So here's the proof. It's all I've got with a little bit of savings. But it's ours. It's a start. We can go and invest it in a business together. Partners, this time. But you're the boss. I don't want to be in charge anymore. I want you to take care of me. You do it so well...."

"You can't just get on a plane like that. Where's your luggage?"

"I've got a spare pair of knickers in my bag..."

He laughed. "But what about your clothes...?"

"What about yours?"

"It's hardly the same deal..."

"I want you. I don't want anything else. I didn't have the time to do anything but get here and get on this plane with you. If I have to start again then so be it. I was pretty bored with my wardrobe anyway...Anyway in Oz they just wear trackies and trainers all the time. I'm going to have to get used to no fashion sense pretty quickly..."

"I can't ask you to do this. I can't. It was wrong of me. This is your life. You built that business up from scratch. All your friends are there. I'd be a selfish bastard to take you away from all that...."

"Time to move on. My friends are always my friends. We can go back from time to time. They can come and see us. I've built up a successful business with one partner- I can build up another. With a new partner."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"I love you more than anything in the world. I love you enough even to leave you. Does that make sense?" he said without any guile, just an honest admission of how he felt.

I nodded through the tears. "But I don't. Love you enough to leave you.  I only love you enough never to want to let you go."

"Thank God one of us isn't going to fall on her sword...."he gasped.

I jumped on him then and he caught me and we kissed right there in front of that audience of confused travellers. One Aussie wit said "Bet I bloody get to share a three seater with these two. Just my bloody luck...anyone want to change seats?"

We broke apart at that, blushing. Andy took my hand and hauled up his backpack, dragging me to a café where over two cups of coffee we planned the rest of our lives.

The upshot was we were not getting the plane that night. We had to argue with the Qantas desk and we lost a shitload of money but they cancelled our tickets and arranged a refund. Luckily neither of us had check in luggage as if they had had to empty the hold to offload our bags they would probably have killed us.

But as we sat there holding hands across the table we decided that together we could face going back and doing it properly. The others deserved a chance to say goodbye. They needed a full explanation. We couldn't leave without closure to the people who meant so much to us.

"End of the month. With luggage." Andy announced.

"How cold will it be in Melbourne in October?"

"Pretty shitty weather..."

"Better bring all my clothes then..."I observed. "I can't really do trackies and trainers, Andy. Not even for you. I lied..."

"Thank Christ. What kind of maitre d' you think you're gonna make in sports togs? I want classy Sheila up front pulling in the punters..."

"A job I was born for! And I want you sweaty chef in the kitchen..."

"You got it. Sweat. Plenty of it."

"I can't wait."

"It'll be a bloody lot of work."

"Not afraid of hard work."

"Imagine what Martyn will say when he sees what a beautiful bird I got in the end!" he grinned.

"Er...how will he know? He can't see - remember!"

"He'll take dozens of photies of you."

"He still won't know I'm beautiful!" I laughed.

"He bloody will...'cos I'll describe them...in detail....The most beautiful woman in the world. And she's mine. Only mine. And those pictures....they'll be the proof...."

We didn't go home that night. We made it as far as the airport hotel. Barely made it to the room actually. Made love like we invented it. But I stopped to send Paul an SMS:

Red raw and loving it. See you tomorrow. Promise details. A and Uxxxxxxxxxx