UMA

I was lying on a sun bed completely zoned out; last night had been one hell of a party. My head was still very delicate. I had slept until midday and would have probably stayed there longer if Terry had not come in, flicked on some rock music and said "Rise and shine, princess."

"Fuck off, you bastard."

"Ooh, somebody's in a bad mood. Swearing does not become you, love. Now get up, shower and have something to eat - and next time you want to go shot for shot with the big boys then make sure you can hold your booze."

I sat up and threw a pillow at him - but the effort hurt. "Oh... my head! You are such a pig..." I threw back the covers and staggered out, just making it to the bathroom in time. An unpleasant interlude of honking my guts out followed. "I swear I'm off booze for ever. I will never take another drink as long as I live. Did I do anything embarrassing?"

Terry snorted. "What would embarrass you? You have a pretty high threshold, love. There were some high spots but...I think the least said the better."

I groaned. "Did I take my clothes off?"

"No. But you wanted to."

I groaned again. "Did I grab anyone's dick?"

"Everybody's. Even the waiter's."

"Oh God, no!" I ran the shower and stepped in gingerly. The warm water soothed but I knew I needed a quiet day. Sun, sleep and plenty of water was the order of the day.

 

 

So there I was later in the day, spaced out on a lounger, trying to recover before the evening's binge. I just watched the others at play - everyone else seemed in better nick than me - surely I didn't drink more than anyone else?

"Hi there Jezabel, you feeling all right?" I looked up, and screwed my eyes against the sun. Cort.

"Don't, Cort! I look like a dog's dinner." I moaned and hid my face in my towel.

"No, you don't. Just a bit pale. You'll live. You had a good night?"

"Don't know. I can't remember most of it. Terry said I made a tit of myself."

Cort grinned. "You didn't. He's making fun of you, honey. You were high but no more than the others. I thought you looked beautiful. Something about a woman in a man's shirt..." he smiled and raised his eyebrows.

I frowned wondering what exactly that was referring to but decided that I really didn't want to know.

He squatted down by my side. "We still on a promise? When you're feeling better? Spare an hour or two for old Cort?"

I rolled over and grinned up at him. "Depends whether you sing for me. You promised Love Me Tender."

He winked as Terry strolled up with a glass of fruit juice and some tablets for me. "You got it, darlin'."

The two men nodded at each other and then Cort strolled off. "Here, get this down your neck, love. You need the vitamins."

 

 

I took the drink and sipped it, watching Cort saunter away with that easy roll of his. "Cort is so fine. You were lying, weren't you? I never did anything I shouldn't have. You are such a mean sod. I was so worried. Cort would never do something like that to a lady."

"Lady? There's a lady here?" He looked around in surprise.

I hit him with my cap. "You are too much, Thorne. Do you know Cort's going to sing me a song one of these days? Love Me Tender. Now that's what I call romantic." Terry rolled his eyes and sat down on a chair, burying his nose in a copy of the New York Times. I heard him mutter. "Fucking padre. Someone should wrap that dog collar round his neck and squeeze..."

 

 

I was greatly restored by the evening. Tonight was informal. Barbecue night.  Marie said "Gotta be karaoke." Apparently the others had been working on routines all day - I'd have puked if I'd joined them in anything overly physical so I had to think what I would do. Solo. Something for the boys. Up the ante a bit. I was going to play up to Cort to get at Terry and Hando and Bud and all the others who had been cock-a- hoop about those awful snaps of me...I would bounce all over Cort's lap.  I needed a bouncy song. I knew just the one.

So we all gathered for drinks. I started on mineral water and they all fell about laughing  but by the time I had stuffed my face with grilled prawns and fish accompanied by some delicious salads, I was feeling ready for vino. It was a really lovely evening- the sea was smooth, the sky was clear and everyone was in a great humour- quieter that the night, before but very companionable.

We began to gravitate into groups and, of course, the usual happened. Some of the men moved away and did the male bonding thing- you know cans of beer, sports results and telling dirty jokes - or whatever it is that passes for conversation with them. Most of the women ended up together and Cort joined us - well, he would, wouldn't he? He is so much more charming than the others. I think he was making a point about how the men were ignoring us. There was plenty of cooing and simpering going on, I can tell you, but you know Cort - even though he laps it up, he isn't arrogant or cocky- sort of shy and mannerly. God, I love that guy. Tenderly.

 

 

TERRY

The girls were huddled around the padre, like altar girls. Fuck, but does he play them - can't they see him doing it? The rest of us were doing what men do on such occasions - having a decent conversation i.e. one without women but Quick Draw McGraw was giving his usual spiritual guidance to the women. Does he ever give it a rest?

"Is it just me or does he get on your fucking tits at times?" I observed, jerking my head in the general direction of Cort and his admirers.

"Who?" Bud asked.

"Quick Draw McGraw - and I wasn't referring to his gun, there, lads."

"Thought I was the only one who wanted to stick that fucking guitar down his throat. Jesus, if I hear his fucking name one more time... Cort this and Cort that...Marie says he's going to serenade her with some Elvis shit one of these nights. Boy, am I looking forward to that." He threw his drink down in temper.

"Love me Tender?" I suggested.

"Well, she's hoping for Blue Hawaii, but anything would do if St. Cort of  Redemption was singing it," he snapped back.

"Seems like lover boy might be getting sloppy. Told Uma the same thing. About singing her an Elvis number..."

"Perhaps I'm not the only one to find his style rather tedious. He is something of a womanizer. Of course, you can't say that to the women. They treat an attack on the preacher like abusing some innocent.  They all rally round." Maximus observed.

"They circle their fucking wagons." Bud added.

"I'd like to cut off his fucking Nancy hair. Give him a number one," Hando added. "He's been sniffing round my bint. Yeah, Love me Tender. Don't I make her tender enough?" He added with a stare across at Cort that would have cut glass. The others agreed. But then we were all sporting short manly haircuts. Jack, John and Zack were fortunately elsewhere - talking ships and sailing.

"What is it with women and long hair on men?"  I observed. We all shrugged. Women? Who the fuck knows what goes on in their heads? We continued in that vein for a while - the way guys do when they get together, ya know? I mean, we love these women but do they take some working out - even if you exclude Uma the Incomprehensible from the equation. They just don't rationalize as men do.

 

 

UMA

After dinner, we cleared an area for the karaoke. There was a small stage and dance floor and we all regrouped in our couples while the sound system was set up by one of the crew. There was a buzz of amused excitement.

"What are you singing, Tez?" I shouted.

He scowled. "No chance. You lot can make arses of yourselves. Count me out. You got the hula. Count yourselves lucky."

"Chicken. You're tone deaf anyway. Spare us all. All you could manage is Waltzing Matilda and one of those crude rugby songs."

"Hey, Bud? Gonna sing me a ballad from the 50s?" Marie teased.

"I don't think so, honey," Bud replied with a smile but a firm tone that suggested no argument. There was a round of disappointed moans from the girls and sighs of relief from the men.

"Well, I'm going to sing." I announced.

"I was very much afraid you were going to say that," Terry retorted with his know-it-all look.

"Try and stop me. I wouldn't be singing to you anyway," I added pulling my tongue out.

"Well, that's one blessing then,' he smiled back smugly.

We settled back for the first act. It was hilarious. I was amazed - they must have been working on it all day it was so well done. Marie, Clarity, Wildie, Eris and Scarlet vamping it up, singing - what else - Lady Marmalade. They strutted in swimwear with fishnet tights and six-inch heels wearing what looked like sheer negligees and feathers in their hair. They were made up to look like tarts. Dare I say type casting?

The men just roared and egged them on- as if they needed it. These five were born to strut.

 

 

They each found a target. Marie went for Bud, naturally, and rubbed her breasts in his face, much to the amusement of the assembly at large. I must say he looked like a man who had been there before; she had to dance away to evade his hands circling her buttocks and pulling her in tighter.

 

ERIS:

 

At that Eris circled Maximus' chair. I have to say - he can play it cool when he wants to. She stood behind him and ran her hands all over his chest, undoing a few buttons and slipping her hand in. He grabbed her face and kissed her- she looked surprised. He's obviously been to a few orgies before now, I'll warrant, the dark horse.

 

 

They reassembled together and gyrated, fingers crooked, to call the men, hips grinding with intent. Hoots and catcalls, whistles and a few rather saucy suggestions were shouted out.

 

WILDIE:

 

Then Clarity stepped forward and made for John, who groaned when he saw he was the next target. But to be fair, he took it like a man. She waved her tight little butt in his face, put his hands on her breasts and shook that booty for all she was worth. The place was hopping - even the hotel staff was sidling up in the back ground, Jack watching at a distance with an expression of quite abject delight on his face and  some of the younger guys positively drooling.

 

CLARITY:

 

Turning round, rubbing his hair with her hands she sat on his knee and gave him a deep bit of tongue while the others sang:

 

WINDIE:

 

Scarlet was up next, looking for a victim. The men all looked at their feet while she homed in on Hando, dragging him up to dance with her. She pulled him to the middle of the floor and then the five proceeded to feel him up like female vampires just warming up dinner.

 

SCARLET:

 

Marie moved from Bud and made a beeline for Egan. He stepped back but hit the rail and was trapped. She pushed him down into a chair, stuck one stilettoed heel on the arm and leaned back; he didn't quite know where to look first, although his hand did manage to stroke up and down her leg while she writhed orgasmically, played with her hair and singing:

 

MARIE:

 

Meanwhile, Hando - who claims not to like dancing - was a class act. He let the other four play and then pounced on them each in turn giving them a taste of what they were purportedly selling. He saved the best for Scarlet. I thought he was going to do her right there - but he was merely teasing. However there and then he did redefine the term 'dirty dancing'.

Scarlet pushed him back into his seat but not before he had a round of applause, too. I saw his face. He was smiling; it looked like he felt he belonged. This holiday will have more benefits than the obvious.

The four regrouped to finish off with a round of highly suggestive bumping and grinding- even a bit of stroking each other, which raised the roof as far as the guys were concerned. I suspect it isn't only the younger men who entertain some wicked fantasies in that direction.

 

 

Well - follow that! There was a lull while we all freshened our drinks and gave them time to change. I began to wish that I had opted out. I reckoned that I would come on and be like a damp squib after all those fireworks. But it was too late. I had made my boast and Terry for one was not letting me away with this one. Jesus, am I stupid or what?

 

 

TERRY

It's been a long time since I've enjoyed a floorshow quite like that one. These girls should be in the business - not sure which business, but they'd make money whatever. I could see Uma had been itching to join them but that's what comes of spending the day sleeping off the booze. I also could see she was regretting her hasty decision to go solo. It was a lion's den out there and the natives were restless - am I picking up my expressions from Jacko these days?

She ran off to the side and came back a few minutes later; I should have guessed she would do something like that. She was wearing a tiny little skirt with a tight-fitting white blouse and one of my ties, loosened. She had clearly stuffed her entire underwear drawer down the cups of her bra. On her head she had a cap and she was made up like a doll with her hair in pigtails. She was wearing knee-length white socks and track shoes. I give you - Uma, The Schoolgirl. Jailbait if ever you saw it. Only she could get away with such a performance.

So she skips out, all coy and simpering, making cow eyes at the boys and then she shouts: "Let's go!"  And she went.

 

UMA:

 

At that she pointed from one to the other at all of the men - they stamped their feet to encourage her

She ran from one guy to another. Zack got her first. She jumped on his knee and got a feel of his real estate. He almost choked on his beer with shock. But before he could react she was off.  Jack Corbett was grabbed in passing; he backed back and knocked Carol's drink over her. She was not pleased. Jack was apologetic. Uma just giggled helplessly and ran on.  Next she homed in on Lachlan and danced cheekily in front of him. He took up her offer and grabbed her waist, grinding against her as she arched back and sang:

 

 

Poor Nash was singled out for the next round of torment. He was standing by the bar, observing with a slight frown on his face as though he wasn't quite sure what to make of it all. Uma clocked him and then she just made a beeline; he realized too late that he was next. Running her hands up and down his body, lingering at all the bits where any lady would not have dreamed of, he simply stood stock still and stared.

 

 

As she kissed his cheek softly and broke away, she swept around the room, tickled East under the chin and blew him a kiss as he tried to catch her. Then she slipped her arm around Colin and licked his ear. I think I'm going to watch her around those two. Her curiosity is unbounded. And she has this thing for Aussies - me excluded, of course, thankfully. She made for Arthur who had a wide grin on his face and looked as if he couldn't wait, but Angharad took a step forward and gave her a look. Even Uma knows when she is beaten - sometimes - and she made a speedy diversion. Fortunately her common sense is not always atrophied. She launched into the chorus again, now back on the small stage, skipping around like...well...like a schoolgirl. However, this was the X-rated Schoolgirl of Men's Dreams.

 

 

When she got to "Been saving it up for you," she bent over to flip up her skirt and revealed her tasty little butt in a tiny pair of thongs that would get any schoolgirl sacked and any schoolboy in court, I doubt if there was a man in the room who would have said no. Even Stephen appeared to be in a state of trance watching her. That woman is dangerous.

Wiggling backwards she sat first on Dominic's knee; he was leaning back on two legs and was so shocked when she plonked herself down that had Darrin not grabbed the chair back, he would have fallen backwards and Uma with him. But she just laughed and leapt off this time jumping on Jack who swung her round in a bear hug and then into his arms while she sang another verse, playing with his hair and wiggling her feet about in pleasure.

 

 

At least I reckoned I was safe - she wouldn't come near me. I wondered what poor bugger was going to get the treatment next. It was Dino. He, of course, loved it and took the maximum advantage of the situation- you've got to give it to him- he never misses a trick. She plonked herself on his knee, facing forward and leaning back, her legs wide open and nothing left to the imagination. He gave her one hell of a slow feel as she sang to him.

 

 

He wasn't hiding, either - Dino caught my eye and winked. I gave him the finger- it made him worse. I wonder whether she caught the glance out of the corner of her eye; she suddenly changed tack. Jumping up and skipping ever faster around, heads swiveling to catch her, she jumped in front of me. Jesus, no, I thought.  Jesus - yes. She took my hands and stood on my legs; I had to grab her tight or she could have fallen and, in that hyper state, hurt herself. She knew I wouldn't let her go.

 

 

So she stood on me, foot on my shoulder and ground her crotch into my face. Trouble was, that so close to her, I tell you, man, I was getting horny and she knew it. So did most of the room, I reckon - possibly because she looked down at my lap, shook her clenched fist at the audience in that universal sign and went 'Woo hoo!" You have to bloody laugh at her. Actually she's a scream at times.

 

 

And then she collapsed in a heap on my knee and kissed me. She's just a big softie whatever she pretends. Of course, that was greeted with a howl of derision - the audience seemed to prefer Uma and me when we were in combat. But she just gave them all two fingers; she is the most unladylike lady I have ever met. But - she got me - good.

"Told you I would get you, ya bastard..." she whispered in my ear.

 

 

UMA

I made such a tit of myself but the crowd was rabid enough by then to cheer for almost anything. By the time I had prised myself away from Terry who was trying a tonsillectomy with his teeth, changed back to my evening wear and settled back on his knee - merely with the purpose of hiding his hard on and maintaining it at the same time- you know how I love to let him think he's going to get it at last and then I won't?  Meanwhile the next act was up. It was the Three Degrees - starring Gloria Gaynor - or someone very similar - not.

The lights went down and a single spotlight appeared. Heather walked into the light, wearing what looked like a black figure-hugging dress. She began to sing soft and slow in her sexy voice:

 

 

And the lights went up and there was Jeff and Paul wearing sarongs. They whipped away her skirt- because she was actually wearing a black boob tube with only a pair of tiny black bikini panties underneath and they were away:

 

 

They were brilliant. Jeff and Paul hammed it up- acting out the lyrics and strutting behind Heather as she belted out the song like a real pro. The sight of her in that scarcely-there outfit, high heels and her big voice had the place dancing. The girls were up on tables- although most of the guys didn't dare stand up, if you know what I mean.

 

 

Jeff has definitely lost his way- he should have been a performer- he's a natural. He doesn't give a shit what he looks like and as a result he looks great. Even Bud who had his 'What's the fag doing now' look on his face was actually struggling not to laugh- you could tell. Best of all was that it brought Paul right into things- he's a great sport. He's a northern, after all. I mean he might be from Liverpool but it's a good deal better than being a southern softie. Trust Heather to see it and include him in that way. She just has the knack.

 

 

The song choice was inspired, too. Fun and completely over the top but the lyrics meant something to each and everyone of us, especially over the past months. I could see everyone laughing but also thinking. WE had all each and everyone of us had bad relationships in the past and now we found ourselves here in this perfect place surrounded by true friends and lovers. There wasn't one of us who did not have something to be thankful for.

 

 

It was sensational. She brought the house down. The applause rang out over the sea and Jeff and Paul took their bows like troupers. Everything went quiet then, the calm after the storm. We all refreshed our drinks and chatted amongst ourselves, congratulating each other and making comments.

After the slight lull, it was time for Part Two.  Angharad got up first and sang a beautifully. You know how Welsh girls are. She belted out a Shirley Bassey number, lately made again famous by Shakira, wearing a waiter's black fitted jacket, black tights, high heels and a bowler hat. Bowler hat? Where did that come from in Hawaii?

 

 

Well, she certainly had them all with their tongues hanging out. Arthur was so thrilled with her and even more so when she came over and sat perched on his knee as she belted out the final verse.

 

 

At that she collapsed over Arthur's knee, stretched out and completely boneless. There were some choice comments fired in his direction and offers of assistance if he should require it. Arthur gratefully declined.

That left our next act. We had hardly got our breath back when on bounded The Spice Girls! I know there are only four actual Spice girls but, as we are so much spicier, then  two extra helpings are allowed.  They were dressed in assorted beach wear, sports gear and various sarongs and pareos. What they lacked in musical skill, they made up for in enthusiasm and sheer high jinks as they jumped around and gave the men one hell of a good time.

 

ANGEL:

OTHERS:

 

ANGEL:

 

SPICE GIRLS:

 

And then the chorus again, which we all soon joined in with. The Spicies danced and acted out the lyrics with gusto:

 

BACK TO THE GIRLS:

 

Back to the Spicies and the rest of us for the chorus- which by now was getting rather raucous:

 

CASSIE:

 

GAIA (rapping):

 

Well, it's always good to keep the best until the last...that one brought the house down, especially when Darrin did a handspring and gave everyone a show. The place was jumping and we had all done good.

That's when Scarlet jumped up.

"Hey, you guys! What about you? You gonna let Jeff and Paul be the only men among you? We want a man! Come on, girls!" We all took up the chant. The men shook their heads and refused to be embarrassed into it. It looked like none of them would take up the challenge.

And then Cort stood up - and the Sisters hooted and hollered, whistling and banging their feet. 

"Yeah, Cort - come and give us some!" Cassie shouted.

He smiled shyly, bashfully...you know that way he has... and ran his hands back through his hair. Can that man do anything without being sex on legs? Going over to the side of the stage, he picked up his guitar and sat down.

" 'Fraid I can't follow that, ladies. But, maybe I can give y'all the last waltz?" He smiled, looked over at me with that look of his, and began to strum. I should have guessed. He'd promised to sing it for me earlier today. Love Me Tender. He had implied it would be a sort of secret thing between us; when he sang it he would be sending a message to me. I thought I was going to melt. I rested back on Terry and he muttered. "Fucking hell. Don Juan de Redemption strikes again." He's such a miserable bastard at times, you know?

 

 

I just sat there and lusted. You could have heard a pin drop. It was so quiet, apart from his beautiful deep voice, the gentle strumming of his guitar and the lapping of the waves on the shore

I watched him, his hair falling across his face, looking down at the chords and then suddenly glancing up, his clear pale eyes in the moonlight picking me out, that intense look that shoots right through you and hits the mark, as deadly as his aim. My Lord, but he is one fine man. I surveyed the faces of the other women and knew that they were thinking the same thing. Oh Cort, you are a sweet thing.

 

 

He finished and bowed his head, smiled and stood up to go back to his place. The sisters, of course, all jumped up and gave him a standing ovation. The men clapped but some of them seemed strangely subdued - and there were a few looks exchanged. Only Jack seemed to be genuinely appreciative of his performance.

Cort replaced the guitar and strolled over to the bar, refreshing his drink and accepting compliments graciously. We all tittered and sighed amongst ourselves, well aware that the men were a little peeved by our reaction to Cort and so we hammed it up even more. Then Terry suddenly said: "Nice of Cort to serenade Uma, wasn't it?"

"No - that was for Marie. You know how he loves to sing to her." Bud replied.

Marie and I looked at each other.

"I beg to differ gentlemen! Eris distinctly said that was their song," Max added with a solemn face.

The women stared around, blushing, as they began to see a pattern emerging.

"Oi, Scar - thought you said your fucking cowboy sang you Elvis, the sad wanker?" Hando joined in.

That was that. Angel jumped up and said "He told me that was for me - that he would only ever sing that for me..." She was lost for words. So were the rest of us. I couldn't believe it! Cort had been playing us all along!

"Tut, tut, tut." Terry shook his head, his tongue peeking between his lips in scarce concealed amusement. "Has the padre blotted his copy book? Will he need punishment? Who will wield the Bible this time? How will we get him to beg for forgiveness?"

Maximus leaned forward conspiratorially. "I believe we could succeed if we worked together."

"Hold the line, so to speak?" Terry added.

"Stay with me," Maximus said and burst out laughing.

"Toss him. In the pool. By his fucking nancy hair," Hando added with an evil glint in his eye."

"Can he swim?" 

"Of course he can - he's a strong swimmer." Scarlet added.

"Pity." Terry muttered. I looked sharply at him and he pulled his tongue out at me. He is so childish at times.

"We need a decoy to draw him to the edge - over the other side where it's quiet and dark and then keep him occupied. Then we'll pounce and pitch him in," Maximus laid out the plan.

"I'll do it," I said. I was pissed with him. "I'll keep him so occupied that he wouldn't even hear you all if you wore hobnailed boots."

And so the plot was hatched. Cort didn't suspect a thing. He was at the bar talking to his new pal, Stephen, and drinking beer when I slid in, arm around his neck and whispered something in his ear before sashaying away in the direction of the trees at the other side of the pool. Like the pro I am, I turned and gave him a toss of my head before descending the steps to the pool, giving him a good sway of my butt as I went. The prey was snared. Moments later he excused himself to Stephen and followed. The other men were up like a shot - it was like a covert operation, except Terry kept laughing and getting told off by Max and Bud.

"What were you in special forces- the laughing, fucking specialist?" Bud observed.

"I promise, I'll stop laughing," Terry assured them but when he gets like that he's impossible.

So they crept up and waited in the shadows until Cort had me pressed against a tree in a deep embrace, his back to the pool. At a nod from Maximus they pounced and dragged him back; I stepped away smirking.

"Hey, what the fuck is this?" Cort shouted as Bud and Hando held him firm.

"It appears you've been insulting our women. We don't take too kindly to that, padre," Maximus replied.

"What? Me? Insult a woman?" Cort snapped.

"Listen, lover boy, we are talking our women here. You've just been sussed, mate."

"Hey, Marie...what's going on? This some kind of joke? Uma? Clarity? Scarlet? Angel?" Cort began to appeal to the women one by one but they all stood there, arms folded or on their hips, feigning annoyance.

"Love Me Tender, Cort. Remember?" I pouted.

He groaned. "I didn't mean anything by it. It was just...ah, come on, guys...it was a joke, OK?"

They shook their heads. "You did a bad thing there, Cort, and I believe that you yourself are a great believer in holy water for washing away sins," Eris gave to him straight. Cort looked down at the cool water.

"You wouldn't... Ah, come on guys...anyway - chlorinated water ain't holy."

"Then bless it when you get in, padre, should be no problem for you," Bud added with a grin.

"Mate, you can probably walk on it anyway," Terry added and we all fell about laughing; even Cort grinned at that. 

"You bastards! OK. You got me. Give me absolution. But don't keep me hanging about."

Hando and Bud picked him up, one at his arms, the other holding his legs and they swung while we counted to three. I have to say that, despite our annoyance and the general baying crowd mood we were in, he did look rather gorgeous hanging there between them. He does look a picture when he is being brutalized by tough men - and he had a sort of resigned nobility as they launched him in to a roar of approval.

He hit the water, shot down to the bottom and then surfaced smoothly, grinning and treading water. "Hey, water's real fine. Any of you ladies like to get wet with me?"

The magic words. Cort. Wet. 

Thirteen women stripped down to their knickers and jumped in. The rest of the men just stood and groaned

 "Cort, you must get those wet clothes off!" Scarlet fussed.

"Yeah, let's take you back to one of our rooms and get some warm towels," Marie cooed.

"He could catch cold. He needs a warm drink," Erycina observed.

"Maybe even a couple of warm bodies wrapped round him?" I suggested hopefully. 

"A shower or a hot bath. Let's sort you out," Angel added helpfully. Just then, Clarity and Gaia came swimming gabbling in French and in one of their excitable states. It was all 'Chéri and mon petit chou...and Ooh la la!' You know how blokes love that Gallic accent. And you know those two when their 'petit bébé' is in trouble. We all climbed out and escorted the deliciously wet Cort back to his room to dry off and change.

 

 

TERRY

As we strolled back to the bar, much chastened, I thought about a wet Cort and realized that the guys had fucked up. They wanted to bring him down a peg or two. But Cort and water = heaven for these women.  It's a well know equation.

One by one the girls came back, still talking about Cort as if he was the heroes of the hour. Remember what I said about women and logic? Proof positive. As we ordered drinks at the bar, strands of their conversation floated over.

"He's so beautiful when he's wet. I love the way his clothes hang on him..." Uma's knickers sounded as wet as Cort's pants.

"That resigned look on his face. A sort of noble humility..." Angel added.

"He was so sorry for what he'd done. He knew he'd done wrong. Remember that line: 'It doesn't matter what I do now - I'm already damned'. It was just like that," Windie sighed.

"The men are just jealous of him...like they are perfect all the time? Actually I thought they were rather childish..." Marie added.

We looked at each other. Women? Who the fuck knows what goes on in their heads?

 

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