LACHLAN

For all her bravado, she can't hold her drink. Cass pretends to be much more of a rabble rouser than she actually is and more often than not give her a couple of glasses of wine and she is already falling off her stilettos and giggling. She calls herself a cheap drunk. I like that about her if the truth be known. I've never really been that at home with women who match men shot for shot. It isn't ladylike.

I know what you're thinking. "Flaming hell, Lachlan Curry, get with it! This is 2004 not 1944..." But I can't help it. I'm an Aussie bloke and girls who get stewed and fall about get a name for themselves.

Even now.

So while I was sitting down at the bar snorting into my beer with the rest of them as we listened into the girls' confessional with Jeffrey the Boy Wonder, I was actually noticing Cassie's talking was becoming more and more slurred and her comments were  increasingly off. It was when she came out with that sordid little Hando fantasy that I knew she was really gone. Bloody hell - where did that come from? Had she been thinking that every time she saw him swaggering around the bar?

I didn't want to make a fool of her but I knew that if I left her there she would have a terrible night. Y'see, Cassie's a chunderer. If she has a few over her limit, she gets ill and I didn't want her embarrassing herself in front of all of the others, spending the night asleep with her head half down the dunny.

So when everyone started saying goodnight downstairs and Hando ran up to haul Scarlet off to bed, I climbed the stairs and chanced entering the inner sanctum. Uma looked up as I knocked and slipped round the door, gave her a wry smile, nodding over to Cassie who was slumped on a couch, her legs up on the coffee table and her head lolling back. She was almost asleep.

"Mind if I take her home? Reckon she's out for the count..." I asked. Uma agreed and I got a general "Awwww, Lachlan, you are so sweet..." from the rest of the ladies, most of whom were equally in their cups. I climbed over all the bodies, trying not to notice the feast of flesh on display and also to evade the hands that were grabbing at my groin, my bum and any other part of me they could reach. It was a frightening experience, I can tell you.

Hoisting Cass into my arms, I carried her out, stepping carefully and groaning when I got an eyeful of Mitchell in his shorts - he was sitting there with his legs wide open - Mate, you do not want to know what he looked like. Cassie muttered something, curled against my chest and seemed to be well away. "You gonna be able to manage her?" Uma said. I thought Uma looked rather tired, pale even, but she wasn't bombed like the rest. In fact she seemed stone cold sober.

"Yeah...she's out cold. But my car keys are in my pocket, love...could you just get them?" Uma wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and eased her hand in, pulling out my keys and going down with me to see us both out. It was quiet downstairs by then; Jeff and Esme were just leaving, still dressed for bed and holding each other up, giggling inanely. Talk about the odd couple.

Uma opened the passenger door and between us we got Cass in and belted up; I wound down the window for her to get some fresh air. "You'll be fine now, Lachie. She's not feeling a thing..." Uma laughed as I jumped in the driver's seat and charged up the engine.

"She'll feel it tomorrow, God help her," I grinned before honking and then pulling out. As I looked back at Uma's figure standing there, watching us leave, I felt a slight twinge of concern. She looked lost and alone. I wondered how she was coping with Ross's sudden departure and exactly what had happened there. It's none of my business, I know, but I thought they'd made a nice looking couple together. It's a pity when things just don't work out.

But I had problems of my own that quickly took my mind of the trials and tribulations of others. No sooner had I turned out on to the main highway than I heard Cassie mutter something and start to move about. "You just lie back and go to sleep, sweetheart..."I told her.

Some chance.

"I thought I was staying the night!" She suddenly complained.

"You fell asleep. Uma thought it better if you went home..." I began. Cassie whined some more. Then she leant out of the window breathing in the cold night air. I hoped she wasn't going to throw up.

"Wheeeeeee!!!!!" I heard her shout. Looking across, I found her waving her arms out of the window and screeching.

"Stop that, Cassie!" I leaned over and dragged her back.

"Why?" She asked giggling.

"...because it's dangerous."

That made her giggle even more. "You are such a fuss pot. Live dangerously..." At that she lunged forward and dragged at the steering wheel; the car swerved all over the road.

"Just bloody stop that!" I shouted and pushed her away. "You want to get us killed?"

That seemed to quiet her down and she sank back, humming to herself and playing with her hair. The next mile or so passed safely enough so I thought she was drifting off again.

Some hope.

"Lachie..." I could tell by the throaty quality in her voice where her mind had wandered. Cass has a rather sexy voice to start with and when she is in the mood for a bit of the other, it seems to get even huskier than ever. "Lachie...." Her right hand found its way to my leg and she began to walk her fingers north. "I just worked it out...you took me home because you wanted to be a naughty boy, didn't you?"

I moved her hand away. She returned it, this time higher, cupping my groin and squeezing. I gently eased her fingers off. "Not now. Not here," I said firmly.

"You're so boring..." she muttered. I pretended not to hear her.

"I blew Zack in his car...he didn't mind..." she added.

I heard that all right.

"Nice one, Cassie.  Just shut up, will ya?" I'm still a bit sore about that one. I was already seeing her then. I know we hadn't been exactly a real item yet but - for Christ's sake, when you're seeing a girl you don't expect her to behave like that with another bloke, do you? Well, not in my day anyway. 

The thing is Cassie is a modern girl. What would have passed like the behaviour of a tart in my day is a girl just being liberated these days, independent, in control of her own sexuality...

Jesus Christ, who are they fooling? 

Bet Grant wasn't thinking, 'What a nice independent woman we have here...' as she sucked him off. The bastard.

"Go on, Lach...pull over...let's do it here...I feel randy..." Cassie whispered seductively.

"No." I like playing games as much as the next bloke but not at the side of a road on a cold October night with a woman who is half unconscious. I've got some morals.

"Spoilsport," she pouted

"No!"

"You're no fun," she whined.

"No, I'm just the bloke who picks you up, takes care of you when you're blind drunk and puts you to bed- but don't confuse that with fun. 'Cos it bloody isn't," I snapped back.

Wrong move.

We got the waterworks then. Cassie started to cry, sobbing loudly, sniffing, wiping her face on her hands.

 "I didn't mean to upset you, Cass." I tried to apologise. "It's late and we're both tired. Let's just go home and forget about it, hey?"

I passed her a tissue and she mopped up, sniffling on to herself. Thankfully we were very close to her place by then and I turned up her road with a grateful sigh of relief. Parking by the side of the road, I jumped out, ran round to open her door and help her. But she was too fast for me. Scrambling out she began to dance down the street, all swirly and wild, singing some sexy pop song. I ran after her, taking off my jacket to pull it round her. She was in a tiny satin pair of shortie pyjamas, her feet bare. It was cold and wet out.

Evading my grasp, she danced away, laughing. 

"Lachlan Curry....I LOVE LACHLAN CURRY!!!" She screamed at the top of her voice. I could see lights being snapped on in a few bedrooms and didn't want neighbours to catch her like this; she would be so embarrassed tomorrow if she realised she had made a fool of herself.

"Shush, love...let's go inside...it's cold out here..." I tried to talk her round.

"But I do! I love you! I adore you! You want me to go in the flat? Why? You horny? I know what you want..." she laughed and threw off the jacket, ripping open the buttons of her little top. "You want my tits, don't you? Lachlan Curry likes my tits...!" she shouted. I groaned. But she hadn't finished. "I love Lachlan's dick! He's got a beaoooootiful dick!"

"Please, Cassie...the neighbours! It's 2am...there's a good girl..." I pleaded, trying to get hold of her but, despite her state, she was like a slippery eel and I didn't want to hurt her accidentally.

"Want to see my boobs? Go all Caveman on me again...?"

"Cassie, honey, you're cold...let me take you inside..."

"Esme was smashed. She fancies you, you know? She said you're gorgeous and cute but you're not as nice as....what's his name? I can't remember...one of them. She says you are nice but he's nicer. She told me but I can't remember...She said she wants to rip his clothes off. I'll bet he's got a big dick too...and she wants to shag him blind...."Cassie began to laugh at the thought of it.

"Very nice...can we talk about this in the apartment?" I tried to take her mind off sex.  I grabbed her quick and she squirmed around but I managed to get her on my back and hitch her up. She decided she liked that and cuddled me round the neck, almost strangling me but I managed to get her to the front door, open it and stagger inside. Her apartment is on the second floor but I got her up the stairs and into her flat without too much more trouble.

Letting her slither to the floor, I locked up and pulled her to her feet. She followed me to the bedroom, fairly quiet all of a sudden. Pushing her into the bathroom, I told her to have a wee. She said she couldn't undress herself. Now, seeing as she was half naked to begin with, I found that hard to believe but I decided I'd better check on her. She was leaning on the counter looking a bit worse for wear, so I pulled her shorts down and plonked her on the toilet like you'd do with a little kid. "Now wee..." I said, turning the taps on full blast. Actually I wanted to piss myself and that made it worse. I had to put up with it while she sat there doing very little - but she finally managed a trickle by the sound of it, swinging her legs like a small girl.

"You finished?" I asked her. She nodded. I pulled her to her feet, pulled up her shorts, thinking at least it was useful that she was already in her PJs and then I handed her a toothbrush with paste on. "Brush!"

She made a half hearted effort. Satisfied, I took her hand, coaxing her to the bed, lying her down and covering her over, leaving just a low light on. At last. Mission accomplished.

Back in the bathroom, I took a much needed leak and shook my head laughing. What a night! A quick brush and I peeled off my clothes, leaving them dumped on the floor, and gratefully went to the bedroom, more than ready for sleep.

Optimistic.

Cassie was sitting on the edge of the bed, fishing things out of her handbag. "You

 want to stick this up my fanny, Lach?" she asked innocently, holding up a rather scary looking dildo. It seemed to be made of glass. "Look what I've got! Uma got them for us---aren't they gorgeous? Do you want to see if it fits?" I cringed at the thought although if I had had a gag I might have been tempted to see if that fit instead.

She suddenly grinned wickedly. You could see the thought process as clear as day on her face. "Want me to stick it up yours? Go on! Can I stick it up your bum...?"

 I winced. "Christ, girl!" I muttered.

"I was going to stick it up Jeff's but he wouldn't stay still- or was that me?"

I dragged the sex toy from her and threw it in the top drawer of the bedside table. "Now listen here, Cass. It's two thirty, I'm tired, you're drunk and we are going to bed and to sleep.  We can play tomorrow. Now do as you're told..."

She let me lie her back down. "I love it when you're all masterful, you know? You are so sexy, Lach...did I ever tell you how sexy you are? I just look at you and I get wet...I love you so much...I really, really love you, you know?" She started filling up with tears again, emotion leaking from her. "You never say you love me, Lach. Why do you never say you love me? Don't you love me?"

Love.

It isn't a word I use lightly. Or much at all. From my experience of love, you have to be careful with it. Even when you know you feel it and are loved back in return that is often only the start of your problems. Look at Lill and me.

The trouble with Cassie and me is that I can't quite get my head around the way she thinks. I care a lot about her. A real lot. Love her to bits in many ways. She is beautiful, smart, a free spirit, loving, funny, lively...I could go on all day about her wonderful qualities and how happy she makes me feel. But I don't know what she really wants from life or whether her understanding of love is the same as how I view it. It isn't that I don't trust her but, how do I know that she won't have her heard turned by some bloke one day and go off for a quick fuck? In her mind, I'm not sure she sees that as a big deal. But to me it is a big deal. A very big deal.  I don't think she regards marriage or fidelity as important. She never talks about children, doesn't appear to like them over much. I want kids. They are what it's all about to me.

Maybe I should look for a different kind of woman. A more traditional girl who sees things more like I do. They do exist even in the twenty first century. I'd be safer with a girl like that.  Even if I do love Cassie, it doesn't mean that we'll be able to make the kind of bond together that's going to work. And I don't hold with temporary. If you make a promise to be together for life then that is what it means to me. No half measures.

But I don't want another woman. I want her. Yet I suspect it won't work any more than my doomed affair with Lill ever stood a hope in hell's chance. We're just so different. World's apart. Belonging to another era. In two wholly other places.

"...Cassie...this isn't the right time to talk about it. You're just getting upset. I promise that we'll talk about it tomorrow. Please...go to sleep, love?"

She smiled up at me shyly; I reached down and kissed her forehead. Turning off her lamp, I walked to my side of the bed and pulled back the covers.

But she was already up again. 

"Let's have sex!" She announced as if she had just invented it. "I really want a fuck...!" Cassie slipped off her nightwear and fell back on the pillow, crudely displayed in the light of my lamp. I couldn't help myself. She is so gorgeous; full breasts, slender body, neat little strip of golden brown hair, sex open and inviting, her long slim legs splayed. I watched as she began to touch herself, one hand playing with a breast, the other stroking herself lazily and staring at me, her tongue licking her lips provocatively.

"I want your cock, Lach...I so love your cock...it is so beautiful...so fat and long...it makes me feel so good..."

I'm only human. When you hear sex talk from the mouth of a lovely woman whom you care about, when she tells you how much she wants you, every natural urge is to make love to her. I swallowed deep, heat flooding to my groin, my cock twitching and desire grabbing me. I knew it was not the right time; she was drunk. This wasn't Cassie talking but some other part of her that she would not even remember tomorrow. A bloke shouldn't take advantage of a girl that way. Not in her present state.

"Fuck me, Lachlan...really hard...You know I have this fantasy about Hando...taking me against a table in the bar...but...sometimes I know it's really you...I just imagine him because it feels alright to think of him behaving like that. But I want it to be you...rough...hard...unrelenting...taking me so deep...not even caring if it hurts me..." she went on and on, her husky sex voice, low and hypnotic, her fingers openly masturbating before me. She was wet and I could smell the strong sweet fragrance of her arousal. I was struggling against the images that she was creating already.

"...Like a whore...fuck me like a whore against a wall...do it...do it...do it..."

So I did. God help me. I did.

I swear I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't known her well enough; we've been sexually active for months and there isn't much we haven't done together in truth. She wouldn't be angry with me. I know she'll laugh about it later in that way she has, eyes flashing and shaking her head at me. She isn't judgmental about sex. Whatever I want, even if it seems a bit edgy to me, she's keen to try and enjoys it; she has a wild abandon to the pleasures of the senses.

The picture that she had conjured up had been lurking in my own head ever since I'd heard what she said about Hando and now it reared up before me. I saw that place, a dark corner in a nightclub, I imagined lying her back on a table and unzipping, while I held her roughly down. I think in my head she struggled; I'm not proud of that image. In fact, she lay there almost unmoving while I fumbled and pushed roughly in. I was him. Hando. No, I wasn't. I was me. I can't use another man to hide behind. I don't like him much. His strange philosophy angers me. He doesn't know enough to understand how wrong he is but strides around like it is the rest of the world who is weak. Or maybe that is just how he copes. But I won't hide behind him in this act of rough sex. It was Lachlan Curry who did it.

I took her there, pretty far out of it myself, pounding into her pliant body. She was loose and easy, her legs wide but not wrapped around me as they would normally have been. I think even then I realized that she was not even aware of what was actually happening. I slowed and tried to pull away it was too late. I was too near. I felt the gathering urge and the shudder that ran through me. Then I was coming... coming... coming and I reached for her lips to kiss her and anchor myself even firmer to this woman who intoxicates me so.

But she was asleep.

I'm not sure exactly how I felt at that moment. A little ashamed to be taking pleasure on a body that was not part of the act other than as a receptacle, I'll admit. But I also felt the relief of orgasm, the giddy pleasure and a surge of emotion for her. That I had this girl in my life who wouldn't blame me and was there in my bed every night and always fell asleep holding me in her arms.

I eased away, tenderly wiped her down with some tissues, wedging a few between her legs to mop up the trickle of my semen so she wouldn't be uncomfortable in the night. Then I fetched her a glass of water and some pain killers in case she felt crook when she woke, covered her up, taking her in my arms and rocking her softly against me. I stroked back her long blonde hair, played with a few strands, held it to my face. She smells so good. Like nobody else. She is imprinted on all of my senses and my body craves her closeness.

I must have disturbed her. She murmured quietly as I held her against my chest. "Love you, Lachlan Curry..." It broke my heart to hear her words. She might have been drunk but those words came from the heart. You can't lie when you're canned.

I placed my lips to her ear and kissed that soft spot beneath. She sighed. "And I love you, too, Paula Cassidy."